#jess mariano is somehow scared of a pair of breasts

[saltygilmores]

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: S3/EP5/8 O Clock At The Oasis

Ah, I'm only two episodes away from the Dance Marathon. I am PUMPED! I hope Shane is living out her bucket list (or should I say Fucket List) because the clock is ticking for her. Original Air Date: October 22nd, 2002. The episode opens with a pretty unfunny comedic exchange between Lorelai and Rory as they head to Luke's. They arrive to find the diner unusually crowded.

An Iconic line. Welcome back, Tomatos Sign. Sun Shine. Coffee's Fine. (A Gilmore Girls Haiku)

Maybe Lorelai should have thrown some condoms at these people too. Condoms for The Hollow is my new initiave. Luke is complaining that the parent group comes in every weekend and takes up space for hours and make a mess out of his business only to order two iced teas; he is telling this to Lorelai and Rory, who take up space for hours, eat him out of house and home and never pay for their food.

Says Luke Danes about a woman breastfeeding meanwhile he doesn't try to stop this:

Another banger of a one liner.

Later, Emily calls Lorelai at work and invites her to a furniture auction. The conversation is suspiciously pleasant and Lorelai hardly even puts up a fight. She later attends the auction with Michel and has a nice time and meets Jon Hamm. But Emily Gilmore always has some kind of motive. Stay vigilant, Lorelai. Michel overhears the conversation and begs Lorelai to take him with her and she agrees. For a price.

I looked up a phone number for you, Michel.

Next scene, Lorelai meets a quirky, vertically challenged, talkative new neighbor who asks Lorelai to water his lawn while he's away and although her agreeance is once again reluctant, there is very little quibbling. Who is this doormat who is saying yes to everything without a fight (so basically, Rory), and what have you done with our Lorelai?

No, I will not. I will continue to post Crap Commentaries to Tumblr. Com until Tumblr finally, mercifully ends up in the dustbin of internet history. Or until I finish Season 3 (maybe 4). Whichever comes first. My 73 year old mom loves loves loves loves loves LOVES Jon Hamm. She definitely loves Jon Hamm more than I love Milo. So of course I've shared this episode with her a few times.

My mom gives Jon Hamm the same googly eyes whenever he's on TV. Here's some Random-Hamm Shots I sent to my mom this morning.

Jon Hamm is a babe. Let's all give it up for my mom. She has good taste. The urge to call him "Baby Jon Hamm" when he was actually 31 years old here is strong. I mean, I still call 30 year old Milo Baby Milo. He didn't shed Baby until at he was at least 35. It's a badge of honor. These fine men age like wine. Lorelai doesn't get BabyHamm's name at the auction, so now she's on a quest to figure it out, which unfortunately for her means she'll have to put the squeeze on Emily to try and get it. Whoops. My bad. She actually asks Rory to do it for her (then gets mildly irritated when Rory actually does it). Just a quick run down of all the manipulative micro transactions going on in just the first 17 minutes of this episode: Luke ---> Lorelai: Tell that woman to stop breastfeeding in my diner Lorelai ---- > Michel: You can come to the auction if you work every weekend Lorelai ----> Rory: You have to ask Grandma to get me BabyHamm's number Dwight (new neighbor) ----> Lorelai: I know you just met me but I need you to water my lawn for the next week Dwight ----> Lorelai: While you're here watering my lawn you can water my indoor plants too Then there's the whole sprinkler business... which we'll get to in time. Lorelai swallows her pride at the next FND and inquires about Paddle #17 and we find out BabyHamm's name is Peyton Sanders. Isn't he a football player? (Peyton Manning. Bad Joke.). Emily agrees to obtain his phone number for Lorelai without anything more than some light teasing . Highly suspicious.

Dwight's house is pretty rad.

Okay okay I LOVE this kind of thing. The thing being: listing all of the board games whose names I can make out. Les go. We'll finish out the post here. Some of the games, I'd assume for copyright reasons have their names cropped short or changed. Hungry Hungry Hippos became Hungry Hungry Nippos.

Candyland (two copies). Chess (three copies). Chinese Checkers. Hungry Hungry Nippos. Yahtzee (two copies). Ouija Board. Scattegories. Sorry. Chutes and Ladders. Easy Money. Clue. Hangman. Pyramid (two copies). Risk. Aggravation. Horse Around. Mastermind. Scrabble. Go For It. Times to Remember. Charades for Dummies. Monopoly. And FIVE copies of Operation.

I’m such a slut for small details, ya’ll 🤤