#joelinton

[torch-the-throne]

Valentines is coming so here are some cards for the Magpie in your life

[new-berry]

If Joelinton’s shorts get any shorter they will be daisy dukes.

[realllllmew]

Winners

[pitstopfc]

nufc: earlier this year at the emirates 📸

[kennaskorner]

I've noticed my type of footballer(face and body card only) ranges from the VVD's of the world to the Declan Rice's......

[unitedbydevils]

Match Review: Manchester United 0-2 Newcastle United

Shit defending, shit chance creation, shit energy... but thank god for Kobbie Mainoo and Leny Yoro.

United started the game dreadfully and just FOUR MINUTES IN a Newcastle attack down their left flank with Lewis Hall let the left back free to cross inch-perfect into the box for Isak to nod home. Top finish, top assist, but the fault lies with United rather than being excellence from Newcastle.

Why was Mazraoui tucked in as RWB towards the RCB position when United tracked back? Go to the man!

Why did Maguire not jump for the ball?

If Maguire didn't because he felt there was no pressure, why did Martinez not call out that Isak was there?

15 minutes later and more of the same nonsense happened: Antony Gordon down the left flank, unpressured by Mazraoui til too late, swings a lovely cross into the middle of the box for Joelinton to tuck into the net, with a scrambling Martinez clinging on to his shoulder trying to wrestle in on the leap for the ball. Poor. Poor awareness, poor positioning, poor result.

United had their moments, with Mainoo putting Casemiro through unchallenged to hit an awful attempt on goal. Hojlund also came close to scoring at the far post, Leny Yoro nodded just wide off a corner shortly after he was subbed on, and Harry Maguire headed off the post to the despair of United fans with our one shot on target for the night. Tragic.

The frustration is that even playing so poorly to start with, United didn't look out of the game. The problem was that we didn't look like scoring either, and that stalemate was down to Newcastle relaxing than them having "been lucky" for their goals.

In the 33rd minute, manager Ruben Amorim substituted Joshua Zirkzee for Kobbie Mainoo - a move that made a huge difference to United's ability to hold the ball and to win it back. Kobbie has been a little off the boil of late but this was a very solid performance; not a worldie or a great showing, but a good performance in the face of nearly everyone else being abjectly shit. Same goes for Leny Yoro and kind of Andre Onana. That's it. Everyone else was bloody useless.

Rasmus Hojlund in particular was poor, which is why I feel sorry for Zirkzee. One is meant to be a goalscorer, one is a creator type. I can see why Zirkzee was benched for Mainoo, but Rasmus could have been taken another day. He was clumsy in duels when trying to be strong, and generally outwitted by Schar. He couldn't barge past with athletic prowess but his movement was poor and his control was so-so. He'd benefit from being backup to a more prolific CF to learn from their game and develop his own over time. He's very promising, but at present I worry he'll be another Elanga; ran into the ground, judged too harshly, sold on, and then allowed to flourish elsewhere at our expense. He's too expensive to do that with. We must work with him.

Tangentially, I also didn't like the booing/cheering shit as the Dutchman left (rumoured to have cried down the tunnel and returned after he composed himself). We're playing shit and he's part of that, it's true, but we don't single out individuals unless they do something truly bad (ala Greenwood).

The positives then (a short section unsurprisingly).

Mainoo brought a lot of control to midfield, and composure to our tempo.

Yoro was a lot better than Martinez, and should start versus Liverpool on Sunday.

Onana didn't fuck up, even though he conceded twice.

No injuries.

United actually had better possession and passing accuracy than Newcastle, we just can't attack or defend aside that lmao.

The misery continues. A cack December, and we start 2025 with away trips to Liverpool in the league and Arsenal in the FA Cup. The only vague positive is that both Bruno and Ugarte are back from suspension, and if Kobbie's refound his form... maybe midfield fires back. Maybe.

Still, stock up on biscuits, booze, feel good films... loan a friend's pet dog... just look after yourselves, because it'll get worse before it gets better.

[takaisayaka]

The long-awaited return after nearly a year…

[newcastleedit]

bruno guimarães & joelinton — alibi

[brun00u11]

[tracksuitlesbian]

Joelinton at the Chelsea game

[georgegraphys]

Anthony Gordon & Joelinton (NEW v. MUN)

© Harriet Massey & Darren Staples

[torch-the-throne]

Guide to Troubled Magpies

[new-berry]

Bruno was sure that actually keeping Joelinton under control would be an easy part of being captain.

They are both Brazilian! Brothers! Have a great amount of respect and love for each other!

[realllllmew]

Best Of The Premier League - Match Week 18

[pitstopfc]

match cam -> arsenal (h)

[meteora-fc]

also wwe are in the uk and i have another favourite fan sign