#jon you tiny old woman with a beard I love you <3

[turtlemurmurs]

cartoonifies your archival men

[obeydontstray]

The Little Things chapter one

So I started the 100 ways to say I love you prompts. Hop tells Joyce he loves her in a hundred different ways. Post season 2, beware of spoilers. Each prompt is a different day. So here's 1-5! Can be found on ao3! 1. "Pull over. Let me drive for a while." The radio played on between them, her passenger's Dark Side of the Moon cassette. Joyce's mouth was set into a hard line. Mauled by a bear. Fucking lie. She was on her way to Indianapolis to tell Bob's only sibling that he was mauled by a bear. Her eyelids were heavy and she let out a weak sigh, passing the leaving Hawkins sign. She had been determined to leave tonight, to stay at a hotel, and see Sue first thing in the morning. "Pull over. Let me drive for a while." Came a gruff statement from the passenger side. After the events of the last few days he was deathly tired but as soon as he heard her intention of telling Bob's family, he wouldn't take no for an answer when she insisted on going alone. "No Hop you need rest, I'll drive." His hand reached for her's on the steering wheel. "Joycie. Let me drive. I know you're exhausted." Without much protest she pulled over and switched seats with him. He rolled the driver's side window down a bit, upped the volume of the radio just a bit. Then he passed her his fur lined police jacket. "Rest up, Byers." He smiled before she closed her eyes. 2. "It reminded me of you." They were eating dinner, the Byers and Hop and El, at the cabin when Hop leaned up on one hip, digging in his pocket for something. "Here, this is for you." Hop said, opening his palm to Joyce. In his big hand lay a tiny stone cardinal. "Hop!" He gave her a small smile. "It reminded me of you. I know your favorite Aunt loved them." "That she did." She smiled. "She always said they were magical birds." "Oddly enough I found it on the ground. I guess it was meant for me to find it." He smiled gently. "Maybe that's her sending you a hello." The kids all went back ti their food, their interests elsewhere. But under the table Joyce lightly squeezed his knee, giving him a small smile. "Thank you, Hop." 3. "No, no, it's my treat." He hoped it was a comforting thing for Joyce and the boys. Really the things just made his head hurt, but it was determined that once a month there would be a board game night in Bob's memory. Jim was squinting at a brainteaser, trying his hardest to decipher the damn thing. "Bob the brain. You know I always called him that because he was smarter than me." Jim observed. Joyce responded with a sad smile. The doorbell rang. "Pizza!" Jonathan called. "Hey Will, go grab my purse please-" Jim stood, reaching in his pocket. "Don't sweat it, I got it." "No Jim, it's my turn to buy dinner!" She protested. "No, no, it's my treat." He said, heading for the door. "Besides." He said returning to the table with a pile of pizza boxes. "One of these is just for me anyway." He said, referring to the everything pizza he'd gotten. "Your boys and their weird pineapple pizza. Blasphemy." There was a pepperoni and ham for El and Joyce. El watched him intently as he ate. "Folding?" She inquired. Jim always folded his pizza slices when he ate. "Yeah, people eat pizza all different ways." He explained. He pointed at Will, who was eating his crust first. "When my little girl was little, she would only eat pepperoni pizza, and she ate it upside down!" He laughed. "Some people eat cold pizza, sometimes for breakfast. People eat pizza all different ways." She looked around at the table, watching everyone eat pizza from paper towels as they played with the brain teasers. Jim looked over at Joyce. "I like to think he'd be happy, knowing the kids are having game nights like this and everything." He said quietly. She nodded and swallowed. "I think so, too." 4. "Come here. Let me fix it." Joyce cursed a blue streak, her finger stinging. The splinter had been sharp, a piece of wood from the work they were doing repairing his cabin. Joyce had insisted on helping, since he helped repair her house after...after she chopped a hole through her wall. After the kids fought the demogorgon in her hallway. She wanted to help. She shoved her finger in her mouth, sucking the pained skin. "The quicker you get it out, the less it hurts." He said, looking up from where he was rebuilding a bookshelf. "Uh, I hate removing splinters, makes it hurt worse." "Come here, let me fix it." He offered. "I'll fix your boo boo." Joyce pouted at his baby talk, but did it anyway. "Boo boo?" El asked, her eyes squinted in confusion. "A wound. Also called an ouchie or a boo boo if you're talking to a kid." "Joyce is not kid." She said flatly. Jim held Joyce's finger. "She's four months younger than me so sometimes I tease her." He explained and Joyce rolled her eyes. "Now Joycie, I want you to look away and sing me a song, okay?" "This is so stupid!" "Sing, woman!" He fussed as he unfolded his pocket knife. Joyce turned her head. "Moving forward using all my breath. Making love to you was never second best. I saw the world crashing all around your face..." Jim dipped his head low to see the big splinter. As she sang, he gently cut into her finger with the tip of his knife. He then squeezed the skin lightly till the wood poked out. He pulled it out gently. "I'll stop the world and melt with you. You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time..." "All set." He said, folding his knife and tucking it away. Joyce observed her finger. "Wow, that didn't even hurt, Hop. Thank you." He grabbed her hand, lifted her finger to his lips and kissed it. "Tradition." He explained. "It was always my job to kiss boo boos. And we have got to talk about your taste in music." "Not everyone's favorite song has their name in it, Jim." 5. "I'll walk you home." "I would tell you guys to watch after my girl, but I think it'll be the other way around." Jim laughed, patting Jon's shoulder. "Thank you again for doing this, El has been so excited." He said. "And I have to work so I couldn't stay." Jon nodded. There was an entire campsite set up around Castle Byers. El, Will, Max, Lucas, Dustin, Mike, Steve and Jonathan all had sleeping bags set up around the fire Jim had started for them. The sun was beginning to dip in the sky. "You're not camping too Ma?" He asked and Joyce shook her head. "Too old for camping." "Never too old for camping!" He smiled and offered her his arm. "I'll walk you home." He offered and she took it. The crisp autumn air blew through their hair as they walked through the woods. In his free hand Jim toted the oil lantern ahead to light their way as it began getting darker. She playfully reached up to run her fingertips through his beard. "Just like a real lumberjack." She teased. "Me, mountain man." He laughed. "You know, you can crash here tonight. I know the boys are with the kids but I dunno, I'd just feel better if you were close and we needed you." He raised the lantern once they got in the scope of her porch light and blew it out. "Those kids? They can handle their own and so can you if anything happens." He teased lightly. "I would, but I left my uniform and stuff at home." There was a pause between them at his driver's side door. She looked up at him, trying to contain the emotion his blue eyes made her feel. "Go get your uniform, come back. I'll even iron it for you." She smiled. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I'd better get back to the cabin, Joycie. I'll take a rain check though. Next time El wants to stay over." One corner of her lips lifted, a pouty half smile. "Alright. Be careful going home, okay?" He nodded. "Always am. Got too much to live for these days." He smiled warmly as he slid behind the wheel. "Goodnight, Joycie."

[amymel86]

Happy Birthday to Me - part 2 of 3 - Jon x Sansa

Yet another fic I end up extending by an extra chapter!...

~Two Weeks Before Sansa's Birthday~

"You like redheads right"?

Jon looked up from the mind numbing spreadsheet he was working on, his fingers paused in mid air above the keyboard.

"Well yeah, but you're a bit taller than I normally go for" Jon retorted to his colleague Robb as he leant back in his desk chair.

Robb snorted but came round to Jon's side of the desk and leant back against it, crossing his ankles out in front of him.

"But you do yea"?

Jon threw up his hands and shook his head "Jesus! I date one redhead and apparently that means I have a type"! Jon curled his fingers around his last word using 'air quotation marks'.

"And that one you had a couple of dates with before Christmas...the Dutch one...what was her name"?

"Mel"?

"Yea Mel...she was hot..what happened there"? Robb asked as his fingers absentmindedly moved some of Jon's papers about on his desk. Jon frowned and picked up the paperwork Robb was fiddling with.

"I dunno man... she kept saying weird things and was obsessed with fire... I think she had a bit of a problem... like she was a pyromaniac or something - she kept burning things with the candles they put on tables at restaurants...we got kicked out of one place on our second date!....Didn't quite fancy waking up to a house on fire, you know"?

"Hmmm...okay, yea, makes sense" Robb nods and Jon can practically see the hamster wheel in his friends head spin round as Robb stares intently at the utilitarian office carpet.

"What's this about mate"? Jon asks, reaching for his coffee mug.

Robb's hand disappears into his pocket to retrieve his phone before he starts tapping and scrolling. "I want to set you up with someone".

Jon rolls his eyes and goes to take another swig - only to promptly choke on his gulp of hideous instant coffee as Robb holds out his phone in front of Jon's face. On the screen was a photo of quite possibly the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen. She was definitely out of Jon's league.

"Bloody hell"! Jon coughs and splutters as he snatches Robb's phone from him to get a better look. "She's fucking hot! How do you know-"

"She's my sister" Robb states with a clearing of his throat and a glare that was half warning, half amusement.

"Oh right...yea...umm...yea, I wouldn't mind if you set something up". Jon says as he hands back his friend's phone and tries to hide the redness in his cheeks by taking another gulp from his mug.

"Hmmm..." Robb contemplates Jon in his desk chair for a while making him feel like he's suddenly in an interview. "What exactly did happen with Ygritte? Did it end badly"?

Jon looks away, takes a deep breath and scrubs his hand across his beard.

"Look" Robb starts "I won't go all out big brother bodyguard mode on you yea? But Sansa's special... she's not had much luck in her past relationships and if I'm gonna try and set her up with someone I'm going to make damned sure she's not going to get hurt again...alright"? Jon gaped at his colleague, he'd never seen him this riled.

"Yea...um, yea...ok"

Christ! What happened to her?

"So"? Robb pushed.

"So"? Jon parroted.

"So what happened with you and Ygritte"? He clarified.

Jon huffed before answering. "Well, I was at the stage where I thought we should move in together and...you know...start planning a future...she didn't agree" Jon paused but Robb's expression urged him to continue. "When I pressed her on it...she said she couldn't ever see herself wanting those things". Jon's words sounded like a confession and he felt a bit lighter for retelling them.

"Those things"? Robb repeated with a knitted brow.

"Yea...you know...moving in together...getting married...having kids" Jon's answer rapidly descended into quiet mumbles and he averts his eyes away from Robb and fixes them on the power button of his computer screen.

Robb leans forward and clasps Jon on the shoulder excitedly. "Right fucking answer mate" he grins like he's been proved right in an argument.

*********

  It took as long as two hours since Robb first showed Jon a photo of Sansa and talked about setting them both up together for Jon to approach Robb at the office kitchenette.

"So what's she like"?

"Hmm"? Robb murmured as his attention was still on fishing out the teabag from his cup.

"Your sister...what is she like"?

"Sansa? Oh, well she's a typical girly girl" he answered, not really paying much attention to Jon whilst he disposed of his used teabag in the swing-top bin. Jon rolled his eyes.

"Well that doesn't give me much to go on" He frowned. Robb sniggered, his teaspoon clinking as he stirred.

"She's caring and polite... but pretty bloody feisty if you upset her.....DO NOT put bubblegum in her hair while she sleeps...my jaw still fucking clicks to this day" Robb finished with a grin.

"Anything else"? Jon pressed, too intent on learning about this woman to pay any mind to his friends banter.

"She likes to think she's funny" Robb takes a tiny sip on what surely must still be boiling hot tea.

"Must run in the family then" Jon grunted. Robb grinned.

"She loves her dog, Lady. She loves travelling...she's a fantastic baker... and she owns her own dressmaking business - makes those fancy ball gowns and wedding dresses and stuff".

Jon retreated back to his desk and chomped on a biscuit as he realised that he still wasn't happy with the amount of information Robb had provided. He wanted to know everything about this woman. - What sort of books or films does she like? Is she a tea or coffee person? Where did she go to Uni? What makes her laugh and what does it sound like?

What the fuck is wrong with me?

He tried to get back to his working day and resume the tedious tap-tapping of numbers into spreadsheets but soon found himself texting Gilly for advice on what he should wear for a date.

~One day until Sansa's Birthday~

Jon's never really considered himself a particularly obsessive type of person - he's normally pretty fucking laid back as it goes, so this - this takes him by surprise.

It started with just looking Robb's sister up on Facebook - perusing her photos of some of her nights out or the artful ones of pretty scenery - there were quite a few of her dog too.

"Look Ghost! You like the look of her boy"? He asked, as he allowed his white Siberian Husky to sniff at his laptop, which was currently showing a photo of Sansa's dog. Ghost whined and started licking at the screen. "Whoa" Jon snatched his computer away from the slobbering beast. Ghost made a grumbling sound and laid down with his head between his outstretched paws, his eyes looking up at Jon all sorrowful. "Yea...me too boy...me too" he said before switching the screen to a photo of Sansa wearing an oversized bobble hat, matching scarf and a bright beaming smile as she looked directly at the camera with those piercing blue eyes.

Seriously though - What the fuck is wrong with me?

Jon closed his laptop, sighed and glanced over at the dry cleaned suit Gilly all but demanded he wear to meet Sansa tomorrow. He sent up a silent prayer to the Gods of dating that he wouldn't let slip how much of a creepy fucking stalker he'd become in the past two weeks.

It wasn't even going to be a date - Robb is just going to drag him along to Sansa's surprise Birthday party.

I might not even get to talk to her, Jon mused as he scrubbed his hands down his face and groaned.

What he should bring to the event had been a whole other host of trickiness. A card - of course he should bring her a card, but how should he sign it? Just Jon? Or should he elaborate and mention that he's Robb's mate? Would that be lame? And a gift - Should he bring one? He's never even met her but he knows that if it wouldn't be majorly awkward then he would want to buy her something unique and personal, like a handmade pair of earrings with stones the same colour of her eyes or an obscenely large arrangement of her favourite flowers.

Urgh! This might not even work!...we might not 'click'...or maybe we'll want completely different things....or I'll make a fucking tool of myself by revealing my apparent stalker tendencies.

Jon flops back on his sofa with a sigh and tries to make peace with the old adage - 'what will be, will be' when Ghost leaps up onto him to give his master some slobbery encouraging kisses, near enough damaging the 'goods' with his heavy paws in the process.