#joost the real winner of eurovision

[itsmelodramasblog]

EUROVISION 2024 ━━━━ joost klein x f! reader

( instagram ) ; fluff ; everything is fictional ; everyone here is such a babygirls

yourusername

liked by joostklein, appiemussa and 25 000 others

yourusername: the eurovision era just started

view all comments

user1: our winner!!

user2: fav couple (still jealous that joost have gf)

user3: real 😭

joostklein: 69 hehe 👍👍

yourusername: weirdo

joostklein: i don’t listen to haters.

yourusername: well maybe you should…

yourusername

liked by marcusandmartinus, joostklein and 32 156 other

yourusername: i recommend this event, great food but this dutch guy really mid 👍

view all comments

user1: the most iconic person on eurovision!!

yourusername: i don’t see bambie here lol

user2: y/n is so fucking iconic

yourusername: appreciate you

joostklein: she’s a stalker, she stalked me to my hotel room now I’m anxious and i wish i had my beloved apson by my side 👍

yourusername: no one will save you

appiemussa: don’t involve me in this conversation i don’t know you

user4: wish i had friendship like this

eurovisionnews

liked by user5 and 156 987 others

eurovisionnews: breaking news! the represent of the netherlands is disqualified from the contest, apparently he assaulted unknown woman. what do we think about it?

view all comments

yourusername: shut the fuck up

user6: iconic girl #justiceforjoost

comments are turned off.

yourusername

liked by joostklein and 56 789 others

yourusername: today i won’t be a funny person that you know, because i’m so fucking mad. everything was perfect but i guess we have bad luck. all i want to say is fuck you ebu. and to my sweet boy, everyone is proud of you, maybe you didn’t won the contest but you won our hearts. i love you 💙

view all comments

joostklein: love you 💙 #fuckebu

⇢ ˗ˏˋ it’s short, but hope you liked it!

[soapdispensersalesman]

ngl I've never cared for the Eurovision but I've been a fan of Joost since his YouTube days nearly a decade ago and I can guarantee you that this is the least problematic guy out here.

During his 2010s YouTube era he used to say Alleen maar liefde which is Dutch for Nothing but love

He does not deserve any of this, he's the real winner fr

[stainedlilac]

Proud of those who boycotted Eurovision, Joost was the real winner of the competition. 💙💙💙 REDBUBBLE-PRINTS-COMMS-ETSY

[crunchysaladx]

The winner of Eurovision 2024??! Love that guy!! I haven’t really drawn real people before but anything for Joost 🇳🇱🇳🇱 he truly has brought us all together! :D

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: #36

36. FINLAND Windows95Man - "No Rules!" 19th place

Decade ranking: 143/153 [Above Nadir, below Let3]

Okay so, I promised in Saturday's post that I would try to be positive, but I may already have to rescind on that promise lol. (the "lol" is for punctuation because I definitely did not laugh.) "No rules!" stinks and has very few redeeming qualities. 🙂 Natalia was right, she WAS robbed by a Nudist Demon!

For real, does anyone over the age of twenty-five enjoy this dumpster fire? If so, fukk meee. LOVE YOURSELVES.

As I noted in my UMK review back in Feb:

I have difficulty buying into this hyperactive ball of bad taste. “Fuck The System” always feels like the go-to message of individuals that fail to fit into social structures that aren’t fully of their own shaping. For an entry that’s all “live as you like, there’s no rules!” in its messaging, these two look like they conform to just about every styling and behavioural rule associated with Zoomer culture: A total disregard for general aesthetics over a dumbed-down drone of a beat because everything is ironic and nothing is to be taken seriously.  It is a depressing take on life. Yeah sure, a bit of camp levity is welcome in this loathesome world, but any happy song that weaponizes irony like this one trends towards encouraging irresponsibility, cynicism and nihilism. Some things DO matter in life, you know? You need to afford your bills and groceries, charge your social batteries, cultivate your friendships, or else you’ll wind up living alone in a van, down by the river. But if the latter life appeals to you, then this is the entry for you, I guess. For me though; this contest is already has one Joost Klein. Let’s not add a second one from Finland.

Funny how I nailed that even before knowing the full extent of it. I ofc vastly underestimated how bad the live would be, and as soon as I'd seen it my scepsis immediately supernova'd into intense HATRED. If ONLY "Paskana" hadn't been weak as piss. Yes, the cringe in "No Rules!" is deliberate, obviously, I have a sense of humour. Having a sense of humour is why I hate it? How much "deliberated cringe" can one tolerate before concluding "nope, this is r o t t e n." Does it start with

THE BAD GUNTER IMPRESSION?

or

THE DONALD DUCKING?

or

CALLING HIMSELF" A QUEEN"?

or

screaming "SEE ME SLAYYYY" :proceeds to not slay: ?

It definitely ends in whatever this shot is supposed to be.

Humour is subjective sure enough, and Windowsninetycringeman's jokes fall flatter than a pancake á moi. Why is everything denim? Why is this THIRTY-NINE YEAR OLD MAN still engaging in toilet humour and internet speak? Grow the f up? The art lies in the execution and Finland showed neither. I do NOT like Europapa much, but having Finland and not Netherlands in the final vibes wrong on so many levels. Europapa at least had a clear plan and delivered its nonsense in contained, piecemeal doses? It was COMPETENT in what it attempted to be (A Televote Winner), not a lazy amalgation of simple-minded drunk jokes strung together over a Planet of The Bass megamix as some sort of a Hail Mary. Joost and Teemu represent the Expectations/Reality divide of Zoomer Nonsense and it was darksided that only the latter got to compete for points. But on top of that, Teemu was generally just full of shit? Hooray, an Old Millennial engaging in Zoomer Cringe who lets an actual zoomer do all the vocal heavy lifting, without giving him a single featuring credit. Yay! It's a painfully accurate depiction of what being a zoomer is like, but not an intentional one.

Also remember when Teemu said he would "try to discreetly approach the other contestants to find ways to show support for Palestine" (remember that this contest was supposed to be 'not political'?) Hm yes discreet. So discreet he declared his intentions to interviewers so that everyone would know it was HIS idea. "Discreet", human please. And the result of all that talk was...

(lol I'm SO making it sound like I care about what political standpoints any of these acts took, and I don't. But I do call out a fraud when I spot one.)

Yeah well thanks for trying, but I'd rather you hadn't. A statement you can apply to my feelings of the entry overall. Okay, we've reached full circle, time to move on to our designated palate cleanser because THIS page is a safe zone for people of good taste.

The universe where YLE overrules the results and sends THEM to ESC is the one where we head to Helsinki twice in a row.

THE RANKING