#joshiferrecs

[hutchhitched]

The Vintage Joshifer Series: End of Love—Chapter 21 (Final Chapter)

End of Love by hutchhitched

Finally, y’all! A million years ago during Catching Fire promo, I stumbled into a friendship with some amazing Joshifer fans. Despite not being a full-blown shipper, I was absolutely thrilled to see an interest in writing historical AU fanfiction. For a long while, I knew what I wanted to write, but I couldn’t get the words to come. By the time I started posting, it seemed most of the Joshifer fandom had (understandably) moved on, but I still wanted to write this story and complete the commitment. After numerous delays and more stutters and stops than I can count, my contribution to @thevintagejoshiferseries​ is complete.

Big thanks to @burlesonspride​ for the banner and encouragement to join in on the fun. I know we don’t talk much anymore and you’ve moved on to other ventures, but I still adore you. There are a lot of others who deserve thanks, too, but you know who you are.

I chose the 1960s because the decade of rebellion speaks to me in so many ways. With recent events, I hope it does with some of you, too. There are so many people still struggling for political, economic, and human rights. The fight’s not over. Keep going.

Historical events in this chapter include the following:

The concert at Altamont in December 1969 became the symbol of excess and the end of a peaceful counterculture. If Woodstock was the ideal, Altamont demonstrated excess and danger and a drug culture that was out of control. There’s a lot of information on the event itself, but here are some great articles from Rolling Stone, the History Channel, Forbes, and The New Yorker.

Berkeley, California, December 1969

 “Oh my GAWWWWWWWWWD!!!!!” Brenda squealed as Jen emerged from the airport and streaked toward her college roommate. “It’s been so long. You look so good!”

 “You look so good, too!” Jen cried as she enveloped the other girl. “It’s so good to see you. I missed you so much, honey.”

 “You don’t miss me. I’m nobody. Unlike my former roommate who’s the toast of the networks. I’m so proud of you, Jennifer!”

 “Well, my professional life is great anyway,” Jen offered wryly and swallowed against the anger and pain that always lingered just below the surface since Josh’s disappearance over a year ago. “I’m happy about that.”

 “You really haven’t heard from him at all? No phone call? Not even another letter explaining anything?”

 Jen chuckled as she imagined Josh sitting down to write to her. The last time she’d seen him, he hadn’t been very interested in the written word. She couldn’t imagine that had changed much in the past twelve months, no matter how badly she wanted to hold onto the image of her former whatever-he’d-been as the guy she’d met in college and fallen in love with despite her best intentions. And now look where that had gotten her.

 “Nothing. Besides, I don’t live in Chicago anymore, remember? New York City’s a better fit, and my coverage of Stonewall made my career. He knows how to find me if he wants to hear from me again.”

 “But Jen—”

 “I looked for him, you know,” she admitted. “When I was in the Village and the protestors were marching in the streets. I saw Andre, Josh’s college roommate. He’s been part of the gay underground for years, and I thought maybe he might be there. Still an activist. Still fighting for change. To make the world better, but he wasn’t. None of his friends have heard from him since Nixon was elected, and I’m damn sure not going to call his family. They don’t know me, and I’m not going to beg him to be part of my life anymore. I’ve sacrificed enough for him.”

 Jen’s pronouncement hung in the air, and Brenda had enough grace to pretend she believed her. The silence stretched between the two women until Brenda shook her head and suggested they make their way to the cab line and head to their hotel. After all, they had a limited amount of time to get reacquainted before the alumni event they were supposed to attend.

 Jen blinked away tears as they drove through town and by campus. Memories assailed her at every corner, and she suddenly felt very old for someone who’d only graduated from college a few years prior. She wanted to kick herself for running out on Josh the night they’d first slept together, and she regretted not working through their problems when they lived together in Chicago. It had just been so easy to run or to seduce him instead. Sex had always been good between the two of them, and she liked it. She’d felt empowered when he lost himself in her or when he’d turned to her body for comfort. The problem was that he’d stopped looking to her and started hiding, too. When they’d both ignored their problems, they’d lost each other.

 A year later hadn’t dulled the ache of his absence. She’d been grieving since the election, but Josh had been for far longer. If she was fortunate—no, lucky—enough to find him again, she wouldn’t make the same mistake twice or however many times it was now. It would have to be pure luck to run into him again after all the ways fate had brought them together in the past, and she’d never been one to find four-leaf clovers. Unfortunately, last November seemed to be the end of their love story, no matter how much she wanted it to be another way.

 “You know there’s a big Stones concert tomorrow not far from here. Some of my friends are going.” Jen jumped when Brenda’s words broke through her reverie.

 “Really? I love them.”

 “I know,” her old roommate said with a grin. “Want to go?”

 “Absolutely! Wait, is this at Altamont? Woodstock West?”

 “I knew you’d know what I was talking about. Sometimes it’s hard to remember you’re in the news business and have your ear to the ground more than us mere mortals.”

 “Please,” Jen scoffed, but the wheels in her brain started turning. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to make a quick phone call.”

 With that she made a beeline for the payphones on the far side of the hotel lobby. If she could pull a few strings, she could tie this to her job and make her friend really happy. What use was working herself to death and making her way up the ladder, slapping away the roving hands, working ten times harder than her male colleagues only to get a third as far—what use was any of that if she couldn’t sometimes cash in her success for press passes at a major counterculture event? None, that’s what, so she was damn well going to call her affiliate and let them know where she was.

 After she completed her call, she made her way back to Brenda and they retired to their room to get ready for the alumni event. Jen made it through with as much grace and class as she could while attempting to stymie the rush of emotions that hit her every time she turned her head. She drank a little too much and laughed louder than she would have if she’d been acting completely like herself, but she survived. More than anything, she held onto the promise of seeing her favorite band in concert the next day. If she managed to score the press passes, even better.

 “We need to make a stop on the way to the speedway. Can you be ready to go in 30?” Jen asked when they woke the next morning.

 “What’s going on?”

 “I need to stop by the local NBC affiliate to pick up some papers. My boss is being a real stickler about my time off while I’m out here. Something about an assignment. I want to make sure we have plenty of time to get to Altamont before the big names go onstage.”

 “Why?”

 “Well, it was supposed to be a surprise, but… Because I got us press passes. We’ll be able to get anywhere with them—including backstage.”

 Brenda squealed and hugged her friend, which made Jen smile. It felt good that her hard work could help make someone else feel so good.

 “Altamont, here we come!”

 ****

 “This is a gas!” Brenda yelled into Jen’s ear. “These passes are the best.”

 Smiling, Jennifer nodded and then pointed to the crowd indicating she was headed into the fray for a little bit. Brenda indicated her approval, and Jen headed off by herself for a few minutes. There were so many people at the racetrack. The music was loud, and she needed a break. Besides, she wanted to check out the crowd in case she could use the information she gathered for a news story later. After all, she was a journalist, a damn good one, at that, and her career came first. Now that her love life was dead, something had to.

 Experiencing Altamont made her regret not taking her boss up on his suggestion she cover Woodstock. She’d considered it for a second, but she’d been exhausted from coverage of the Stonewall riots and then traveled home for a family function. At the time, she hadn’t wanted to take off on another assignment when there was plenty of news to cover in the city itself. If she had, though, she’d be able to compare the two music festivals.

 The crowd at Altamont seemed perfectly content, albeit jittery. The lower the sun dropped in the sky, the more unrest she felt. She stepped around a shirtless, bearded man on the edge of the mosh pit in front of the stage and froze. There, not even ten feet from her, was Josh Hutcherson, alive and in the flesh. The man who’d haunted her dreams and had made her weep far too often over the past year was there, cheering and whooping as the Rolling Stones shifted into another song.

 People surged around her. Frozen in place, she couldn’t drop her gaze from his face. Josh’s face. She’d imagined reuniting with him a million times, but now that the opportunity existed, she had no idea what to do or how to act or what to say. Stunned and breathless, she tried to smile, but she was positive her face held more of a grimace than anything else. And then he turned slightly, and she could tell the exact moment when he saw her. His handsome face went slack in shock, and he took a tentative, hobbled step toward her.

 It took a minute for her to realize something had shifted. Someone pushed while another shoved back, and the concertgoers pressed closer together. Squeezed between two large men, she fought for space and scrambled frantically to keep Josh in her sights.

 All hell erupted around her as men in black leather infiltrated the crowd. She saw a person fall and then another. Panicked fans stepped over the bodies on the ground, and she had to fight to stay upright at people swarmed around her. She struggled against the tightening noose, but she was losing ground.

 “Jennifer!”

 Suddenly, he was in front of her, pulling and tugging her free from the throng. He grabbed her hand and bulled his way toward the perimeter where it seemed there wasn’t quite so much danger.

 “What are you doing here?” he shouted over the noise. “I thought you were in New York?”

 She gaped at him. “How did you know that? Why are you here? Where have you been? And why the fuck did you leave me in Chicago, you shitless bastard?”

 Josh opened and closed his mouth a few times before his face broke into a wide grin. “God, I missed you,” he laughed and cupped her face in his hands. Before she could shake him off, he leaned forward and kissed her.

 Stunned, she stiffened under the onslaught, but she gradually melted into him. She’d forgotten how good he was at this, how his lips and tongue and teeth combined to weaken her knees and shatter her resolve. Then, she was kissing him back, passionate and frantic as he held her to him. She was seconds from tearing his shirt over his head when someone slammed into them. Hard.

 He broke away and glanced around them to assess the situation. “We need to get out of here,” he shouted and grabbed her hand to pull her along.

 “Wait! Brenda’s here. She’s backstage. I can’t leave her.”

 “Jen! I want you safe.”

 She shook her head and twisted to look at the stage. Everything was in chaos, but she glimpsed her roommate briefly. She waved and ducked away under the arm of one of the workers who’d been flocking around them when they’d first arrived. If the wide grin on her face was any indication, Brenda would be absolutely fine.

 “Let’s go!” she yelled but allowed him to pull her behind him through the rioting crowd and into a clear area near the parking lot.

 “Are you okay?” he asked, his hands running over her shoulders and arms and then back up to her face. “Are you hurt?”

 “I’m fine. I’m okay. Josh…”

 His lips were on hers again, warm and comforting and more than a little urgent. She wanted to lose herself in him, find comfort in a way she hadn’t been able to for so long. More than anything, she craved his skin against hers. More than she wanted to know why he’d gone or where he’d been or what his future plans were. She just needed him in a way she couldn’t explain. She only knew that she felt like she’d come home when she was with him. After all this time, he was still the person that made her feel more herself than anyone else.

 It felt like seconds and decades at the same time, but finally, their frantic make out session ended and they could look at each other more fully. She had a million questions, but the most important was the one she managed to blurt as he studied her with his hazel gaze.

 “Do you love me?”

 He raised his hand to her left cheek and traced her cheekbone with his thumb. His eyes flickered over her, and his lips curved into a smirk. “Of course, I love you,” he laughed. “I always have. I’ve been an idiot—worse, I’ve been a complete ass—but I’ve been in love with you for a decade.”

 “I live in New York. I’m not moving.”

 “I’ve already got my plane ticket back there. I was just staying with Connor through the holidays.”

 “I don’t trust you.”

 “I don’t blame you. I haven’t been very trustworthy, and I’m sorry.”

 She glared at him, but she couldn’t find her anger. His presence was a balm she hadn’t even known she’d needed. When he’d left, she’d thought it was the end of their love, but maybe tonight was really the beginning. If the last decade had taught her nothing else, everything was a gamble. Maybe she had another big one left in her.

 “Hey, Hutch.”

 “Yeah?” It felt like the world around them was holding its breath.

 “Take me home.”

 When he reached for her hand, she took it.

 ****

 The drive to his brother’s apartment seemed to take forever and not nearly long enough. She wasn’t nervous, exactly, but it had been over a year since he’d left. How would it feel to be with him again after all this time and so much pain between them?

 “Connor’s out with friends tonight. Spending the night with his boyfriend,” Josh announced as they pulled into a parking spot.

 “Okay,” she replied and sucked in a breath to hold. At least they wouldn’t have an audience for their reunion.

 “We don’t have to do anything,” he said, and she raised her eyes to his. Vulnerability poured from him, and she suddenly wanted to soothe him. She had the ability to provide him comfort, and that’s what she wanted more than anything else in that moment.

 “I want to do everything,” she answered firmly.

 He led her up the stairs to his brother’s apartment and unlocked the door. When they were inside, he tossed his keys on the table and turned to her. She went to him, and he pulled her close. His arms wrapped around her back to nestle her against his chest. Slowly, he lifted her chin and pressed his lips against hers.

 It was a chaste kiss, but it lit a fire inside her. She deepened the kiss by tilting her head and opening her mouth. Her tongue begged for attention, and he slid his against hers. His muffled grunt was matched by her lusty moan, and the thin veil of control they clung to snapped.

 “Jennifer,” he sighed. Their hands grappled with their clothing as it fell piece by piece. Frantic, she hopped onto the kitchen table and tucked him between her legs. He rubbed her quickly, just a tiny bit of prep, and then he was inside her, thrusting with his head thrown back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hung on as he rammed into her. The table creaked under them, and she gripped him inside her tighter and tighter as he plunged erratically into her depths.

 “Fuck!” he shouted to the ceiling when his body tensed. He sank into her, and she felt a wet heat pulsing inside her when he came.

 She cradled him to her, grateful for his warmth in the chilling apartment, until he came back to himself. His mouth sought hers in a lazy journey across her cheek until they were kissing and kissing and then kissing more and more and more. She couldn’t get enough of him. He surrounded her, made her feel like she’d found everything she needed, and grounded her to the present.

 “I love you,” he mumbled against her lips. “I’m so sorry for leaving you.”

 She whimpered, both at his words, and him pulling out of her, but that turned to a forceful howl when he sank to his knees in front of her. She spread her legs further, and he leaned forward. Falling back on the table, she pressed her eyes closed and allowed herself to float. His tongue and fingers and lips and facial hair all worked to drive her over the edge, and she gripped the edge of the table as an orgasm rushed through her. Panting, she begged him to keep going.

 He took his time, nuzzling against her until she writhed under him. He prodded her legs into different positions, interspersed sucking on her clit with shoving his fingers inside her until she was wailing. She couldn’t control the sounds that poured from her any more than she could stop from climaxing multiple times as he took her apart.

 She lost track of time, of her name, of her roles and responsibilities. Nothing mattered but him on her, connected and intertwined in a way she always wanted them to be, that they’d never quite managed when they held back from each other. For the first time in ages, she felt he was completely open to her, and she responded in kind. Any inhibitions she still held fell away, and she ground against his face harder and harder.

 “Josh, I need more,” she whined, desperate for him to be inside her again.

 He stumbled to his feet and scooped her from the table. Half-carrying, half-supporting her, he walked them across the room to the ratty couch in the living room. Woozily, she glanced at the rumpled blankets and sheets where he’d obviously been sleeping and sank onto his lap when he sat.

 “You deserve so much better than a shitty couch in a rundown apartment. I’m sorry—”

 “Stop apologizing,” she slurred and kissed him. “I forgive you. I love you, too. Now, fuck me.”

 Josh buried his face in her neck and guided her thighs to the outside of his. She sank onto him and rocked her hips, meeting his stroke with hers. She rode him, then, bouncing and moaning his name, clutching his hair and raking her nails down his back as they raced to the finish. They reached it together, clinging to each other as they panted each other’s names. Her back bowed, and she dove over the edge, reaching for him, clinging to the man she’d met so many years ago, who’d helped her discover who she really was, what she believed in, and how she could fight for those principles. She didn’t want anyone else to take his place, and this time she’d battle for him as long as she needed to keep him by her side.

 When they finished, they lay together, hearts beating rapidly, and caressed every inch of bare skin they could reach. They made promises and plans, both grandiose and mundane, but most importantly, they made a pledge.

 Despite everything, there wouldn’t be the end of love. Instead, they were at the beginning.

[thevintagejoshiferseries]

New Vintage Joshifer Series Story, Coming June 2016!

Chapter 1 preview

“Hi, doll. Thought I’d see if I could walk you home tonight. This place is dullsville.” He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly in an attempt to pretend he didn’t care if she agreed, but he needn’t have worried.

 “No need to walk. I have a car for the night. Want to take it for a spin?” She dangled the keys of her father’s Ford Falcon.

 Josh extended his hand and helped her up. He took the keys from her hand and glanced around the table. He tossed a dollar on the table and escorted her to the door. Ten minutes later, he pulled into a secluded area overlooking the Ohio River.

 “Nice view,” she purred against him, and he nodded in agreement.

 He hadn’t expected to be nervous, but somehow he was. Making sure the car was firmly in park, he turned off the engine and sucked in a nervous breath.

 “Can you believe that school’s almost over this year?”

 Josh laughed nervously as her hand landed on his knee. “Only a little more to go. I can’t wait to get out of here.”

 “Where do you want to go?” she asked as her hand trailed up the inside of his thigh.

 “Anywhere but here. California? LA, maybe? My dad’s GI Bill can get me into a college out there. I have to get out of this town.”

 “Maybe I can help with that.”

 He looked at her in confusion but smiled when her lips opened slightly less than an inch from his. He brushed his mouth across hers and asked huskily, “How?”

 She batted her eyes at him and murmured, “I’ll take you out of this world.”

[dagger-undisclosed]

Not Such A Bad Night

Hi guys! So, it’s that time of the week again! 

So, has everyone got their copy of Mockingjay Part 2 yet??? I have, and I must say... Even though I got the 3D version and it’s AMAZING, I’m a little upset that there’s no deleted scenes on it!! I may have to ask for another copy for my birthday...

Anyway, here’s the next installment in the 2015 series, and as you know all know, it’s rate M, along with all the other stories.

My other Joshifer stories can be found here. Enjoy, my lovelies!

*Disclaimer* I don’t personally know Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson or any other person included in this story; it is all a work of fiction, and in no way do I wish to infringe upon any of The Hunger Games franchise or anybody included in my stories.

"Momma?" a little voice asks as I clip on the back of my earring. I turn around, and see Shrader stood in the doorway, one hand clutching his 'blanky' tightly, the other balled in a fist at his mouth as he sucks his thumb. His big brown eyes are filling with tears as he takes another step into the room.

"Hey baby, why aren't you in bed?" I ask as I walk over and pick him up.  He doesn't answer, but instead buries his head against my shoulder as I walk back to his bedroom with him in my arms. After a few seconds, he lifts it and places his thumb back in his mouth, studying my face.

"Where you going Momma?" he mumbles.

My heart suddenly breaks. Out of all our children, Shrader is the one that hates it most when Josh and I have to leave, even if it is only for a little while. None of them particularly like it, but they deal with it better than their brother, which is why we made sure to put them all to bed extra early tonight. Only, it seems someone else had other plans.

I place him back in his bed, tucking him in, and pepper his little face with kisses. He erupts in a fit of giggles.

"Momma stop!" he squeals. Smiling, I actually bring my kisses to a halt, scared that we may have woken Ryan, who's asleep on the other side of the room. I glance over just to check, and see that he's fine; nothing would ever wake up my little ball of trouble; he's just like his Dad.

"Where you going Momma?" My son's question brings me back to reality, and I know I can't avoid answering him forever; he's so persistent - just like Josh. I look back at him, and notice his eyes are brimming once again.

"Hey," I whisper, kneeling and stroking his hair, something I know soothes him. I break the news to him. "Momma and Papa are going out for a little while, for dinner." His bottom lip quivers as he begins to realise what I'm saying. "But Grandma is here to look after you, and Bear will be here tomorrow as well."

"NO MOMMA!" he all but screams as the tears begin running down his face and he sits up in bed. "NO! You gots to stay here!" He becomes hysterical and closes his eyes as he cries.

"Hey... Come on, baby. Look at me." Nothing. "Shrader." I whisper a bit more assertively. The use of his name forces him to open his eyes and look at me, and his crying becomes a sniffle.

"You gots to stay here Momma..." he blubbers as his tears threaten to make a reappearance. I sigh, and perch myself on his bed beside him, pulling him towards me as he carries on whimpering.

"Ssshhh. Hey, look at me." He tilts his head upwards as I take his chin in my hand, gently wiping away the tears with my thumb. "It's only for a little while. If you go to sleep now, Papa and I will be back when you wake up."

He sniffles again. "But I don't want you to go!"

"I know, baby" I sigh as I pull him in for another hug while he continues sobbing. I feel so helpless when he's like this; am I a bad Mother for leaving my children as much as I do? "I don't want to go either."

This time, it's Shrader who pulls away, a slight smile on his face. "Then stay here Momma!"

"I can't, baby." I place a kiss on his forehead. "Mr Francis and Grandpa Woody will be there too. They're waiting for me and Papa."

"And Unkie Bear?" I smile, wondering just when, and if, my boys will start to call Liam by his actual name. "Then I come with you!"

"You can't come baby, it's late and it’s only for grown-ups."

He whimpers, so I carry on before his sobs have a chance to escape. "But if you're good and go to sleep now, you can have your favourite chocolate pancakes tomorrow..."

His bottom lip sticks out even further, but I see I have his attention.

"Papa says they're only for special days..."

"....buuuut..." I interrupt, "...if you go to sleep now, maybe I'll be able to change his mind."

"You promise?"

"I promise baby. Now come on, let's get you tucked back in, little bear." I say, knowing he likes being compared to Liam after he once heard me call him 'a bear'.

"M'kay..." he sniffs as he slides back under his quilt and pulls his blanky up to his face.

"That's my boy."

I place a kiss on his forehead and turn his nightlight on before getting up from his bed and making my way to the door. Just as I reach it, his little voice forces me to turn around once again.

"Momma?"

"Yeah buddy?" I whisper into the almost dark room.

"I love you."

"I love you too, little bear. Goodnight." I whisper again, my voice catching in my throat. As I descend the stairs I consider how happy I am with how that played out, knowing that I’ll be able to settle at the dinner table.

******

“Well, that’s Shrader back in bed.” I announce proudly as I walk into the kitchen.

“Jen...”

“Josh...” I throw back at him as he turns to face me, his tie still undone. I reach over, taking the silk material out of his hands, and begin tying it myself.

“Please do not tell me that you said he could have chocolate pancakes for breakfast AGAIN?”

I don’t say anything, but a guilty smile creeps onto my face.

“Jennifer!”

“What? He wouldn’t go to sleep!”

I’m finished with the tie, so I back away a little and lean against one of the dining room chairs. “You know I don’t like it when they’re upset!”

He smirks at me, so I playfully push him away. “What did you want me to do? Just leave him screaming his lungs out? I can’t do that Josh!”

“Babe.” He takes a step towards me and takes me in his arms. “Calm down, I’m just joshing. Of course I don’t expect you to leave him crying. Just… I dunno.. maybe find something else to bribe him with. He’ll be having a heart attack at 4 with the amount of chocolate he eats, and it means I’ll have to get up early…” His arms snake lower, and rub over my behind as his face comes towards my neck, his lips against my ear. “... which is something I hadn’t planned on doing, especially with what I have in store tonight.”

I feel myself blushing, and I push him away, laughing.

“Joshua! Behave! My mum is in the other room, let’s not get caught again.”

Even as I’m saying it I can’t help but feel giddy, anxious to know just what he has up his sleeve.

“You look beautiful, by the way,” he tells me, bringing me back from my daydream. “I loved that dress when you wore it in Madrid, but it looks even better on you now.”

“I don't feel beautiful,” I huff, running my hands down the front of the dress. It's true; after five kids and a happy marriage, the material clings to me in places it never used to.

“Well you should, because you are.” He moves back over to me, and plants a kiss on my lips before pulling away, his hands on either side of my face, thumbs caressing my cheeks. “You're the most beautiful woman in the world. Easily.”

Our gazes remain fixed on each other, the tension building as neither of us make a move. But when I bite my lip, all of this tension seems to erupt, and suddenly we’re crashing down on each other as our tongues fight for dominance.

Suddenly, Josh's hands are on my ass again, but this time he lifts me up and perches me on the counter, sliding my dress up, allowing himself more access between my legs, pressing his crotch into mine.

A sigh escapes my lips when he grinds against me, his erection causing that little extra friction. He places his forehead against mine and I feel his breath, heavy with desire.

“Don't ever say you're not beautiful. You're more than that. You’re…. Radiant.”

I giggle a little at his words, even though I know how much he means them.

“Okay, Katniss,” I tease, “I won't say it again. But it doesn't mean I can't think it…”

“Jennifer.” He cuts me off, forehead still rested against mine. Suddenly, one of his hands is between my legs, a finger stroking over my panties ever so slightly. “Don't. Even. Think. It.”

I close my eyes and swallow, letting out a small sigh of pleasure as his finger dips below the material and starts massaging me instead. “Jen. Look at me.”

I open my eyes at his command and he continues circling my clit.

“Don't even think it. Promise me.”

I don't answer, instead lowering my head; how can I promise him I won’t think about something that goes through my head every single day? Josh must sense my hesitance since his hand stops moving, but it doesn't leave my panties. I look back up at him, and find his gaze bearing down on me. This is a man that loves me so much. He's seen me at my weakest, my most vulnerable. He's been at my side for the births of all our children. Surely I can try?

“I promise.”

And just like that, he picks up where he left off, only this time his movements are harder, the need and want apparent as his starts dipping a finger in and out of me.

“Josh…” I moan as he adds a second finger. “Fuck…”

I tilt my head back, and he goes to work kissing my neck, something he knows turns me on even more. His fingers quicken, and I can feel myself edging nearer and nearer to my tipping point. Reaching my arms down, I take my husband's fly in my hands and lower it, freeing his hard cock; I hadn’t realised he wasn’t wearing any boxers as his pants are so tight. I stroke him slowly for a minute or two, but when he groans in my ear, I know there’s only one thing we both want. There’s only one thing we need; release. I open my legs wider and wrap them around Josh, pulling him towards me, lining us up so that in one swift movement our bodies can join together. He pushes his tip into me, and I throw my head back again in pleasure, letting out a moan. But I lift it up in confusion when he doesn’t push in any further.

“Wha…”

“Ssshh!”

I tilt my head, trying to figure out what stopped Josh, but then I hear it, quiet at first and then louder as I focus on it more; the intercom is buzzing in the lounge area, no doubt informing us that our transport has arrived. I hear my Mom reply, and suddenly we’re a scurry of limbs as we try to sort ourselves out upon hearing her coming towards us.

“Jen?” She calls out. “Jenny-Lou?”

“I’ll... Just…One minute Mom!” I call back as I try to sort out my hair and makeup while Josh tucks himself in, trying to hide his obvious erection. We’re barely presentable when she appears in the kitchen, baby monitor in hand.

“Your car’s here Jen,” she reiterates.

“I know, Mom, we’re gonna head out now.” I tell her as I turn to her away from the mirror, my make-up fixed. “Are you sure you don’t mind? Will you be okay?”

Josh brings me my coat, so I put my arms in as Josh holds it for me and my Mom rolls her eyes.

“Jennifer. It’s not the first time I’ve looked after them, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. Go! Enjoy yourselves. I’ll be here waiting when you get back.”

“Thanks Karen,” This time it’s Josh who’s spoken up, “We really appreciate it.”

My Mom comes over and hugs us both, telling us to go before she changes her mind. Without hesitation, Josh is pulling me out of the door, practically slamming it behind us.

“I couldn’t wait to get out of there,” he tells me once we’re out of earshot of the house, “especially with the way you got me all worked up in there.”

I scoff. “The way I got you worked up? It was you who started it!”

“Well,” he smirks as I slide past the driver, who’s stood holding the door, and into the back of the car, “I might have to be the one to end it!”

*****

Twenty minutes into the car ride and I'm sat looking out the window, lost in my thoughts; just how I’ve been since we set off. The boys are only three; they don't understand why Josh and I have to leave them with Grandma when we go out to events. Neither does Penelope. And neither will Ava when she's older. I know tonight is only a few hours, but what will happen in the new year when I jet off to Europe for a few weeks to shoot my next film and leave the kids with Josh? They’ll hate me. They'll be distant when I get back, just like they were last time. And the time before that. I always seem to miss so much when I'm away, and so does Josh. Last time I missed Hope win her first spelling bee at school. Hell, Josh even missed Penelope's first steps! I feel myself welling up at the thought of everything we've missed from the kids growing up, things we’ll never be able to get back. A single tear threatens to fall, but I pull my hand out of Josh's to wipe it away, catching his attention.

“Jen? Baby? What's up?” He asks as he looks at me.

This time, I can't stop the tears from falling. I want to hide it, to tell him that nothing is wrong. But Josh knows me; he can see straight through my facade. Instead, my tears fall quicker, and I turn into a sobbing mess.

“I… The kids… Just…” I blub.

“Hey,” he soothes as he pulls me close to him, pressing the button for the partition to go up.I bury my face in his jacket, making sure not to get make-up on it. “Shhhh.”

I stay there with my eyes shut for what feels like an eternity, but eventually Josh puts one hand under my chin and lifts my face so he can see me.

“Jen, open your eyes,” he tells me, his thumbs now tenderly wiping the tears from my face. I inhale, knowing he’s waiting for me to tell him what’s wrong, and do as he says. At first, my vision is blurred by the tears, but after a second or two, they clear, and I see my husband’s brown eyes looking at me, searching for some sign of what’s wrong.

“I’m sorry…” I manage to sob, “the kids…. they hate me, Josh.” Once again I turn into a sobbing mess, but this time, Josh pulls me into his lap and kisses me, one arm in my lap, the other around my ass, supporting me.

“Jennifer, look at me. The kids do not hate you.” He tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “Why do you keep saying that, hmm?”

I wrap my arms around his neck, and play with the hair at the nape of it. My eyes meet his, and I decide now’s the time to tell him.

“They don’t like it when we leave them Josh. They don’t understand why we have to be gone so long. You didn’t see how Shrader was tonight. It broke my heart.” My bottom lip is quivering again, and I want to continue, but Josh butts in.

“But Shrader has always been like that, Jen, ever since he was a…”

“...But it’s not just him!” I interrupt. “Hope is still upset that I missed her win her spelling bee, I know she is. She says she isn’t, but she is, and she hates me for it. The boys never want me to leave, but I always do. I walk away as our boys sob their little eyes out, calling for me, and it breaks my heart. I should be comforting them when they’re crying. I shouldn’t be the one making them cry. What sort of a mother does that?”

“Jen…”

“And another thing,” I continue. “When you’re not here, Penelope won’t go to sleep because ‘Papa hasn’t read a story’ or kissed her goodnight. She probably thinks it’s my fault that you aren’t there. She screams and screams, Josh, and she won’t let me comfort her. I have to let her scream until she wears herself out. I wanted this family with you so much, and I can’t even give our babies the one thing they…”

Suddenly, my words are muffled as Josh places his lips on mine. When he pulls away, I look at him, taken back.

“Well that shut you up,” he smirks, “the kids don’t hate you Jennifer. They adore you, especially Hope. You don't see the looks on their faces when I tell them we’re going to video call you. You don't see how excited they get when I tell them you're coming back. And you don't hear all the moans I get from Hope and the boys when you're gone.”

I screw up my face, not completely understanding what he means by that last part, but smile when Josh does the same and takes on a baby voice, obviously mimicking our eldest, who thinks she's so much older than she actually is.

“Momma doesn't do it like that,” he mimicks, “Momma doesn't read us that. No! Momma’s reading that. You're doing it all wrong Papa!”

I giggle, and Josh chuckles too.

“That's better,” he smiles as he wipes the last of my tears away. “But seriously, Jen. You're the apple of the eye of all those kids. Except Peppi; she’ll always be a daddy’s girl.”

He smirks, so I hit him playfully, but he carries on.

“Even Hope! I've tried to get her on my side, but she won't have any of it. She always runs back to her Momma, no matter what I do. She needs you. We all need you Jen.”

“But…”

“No buts, Jen. I understand that it hurts when you leave; it hurts when I leave too. But we always come back, and that's what they need. They need to know that even if we're far away for a while, we’ll always come back. And that's what we do. It's not as if we leave them with some stranger while we go off having fun all the time.”

I scoff, rolling my eyes.

“I wouldn’t exactly say we’re having fun right now…”

“No, but we will have fun, especially when we arrive and see everyone. And anyway…” he shifts, pushing his groin into me, “what’s not to say we can’t have a little bit of fun right now?”

I freeze, feeling his erection push against me.

“How can you be so hard already, Josh?” I scorn, “I was just almost in tears, and this is what you’re thinking about?!”

“God, no! I was not thinking about sex while you were upset! What do you take me for, Jen?”

“Well then why are you hard?”

He doesn’t answer, so I look away and try to get off of him, upset that I can’t express my feelings without him thinking about sex, but he won’t let me up.

“Jen,” he says, “look at me.”

I don’t give in, and my gaze remains fixed on the partition separating us from the driver.

“Jen.”

Again, I don’t give in. Fuck him; I’m upset and all he can think of is getting laid?!

“JENNIFER.”

This time however, his tone is scarier, so I turn to look at him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” he utters, raising the hand from my lap to stroke my face. “I wasn’t thinking about having sex while you were upset Jennifer, I promise. But with you in my lap, and what happened in the house, how was I meant to stay calm?”

I don’t say anything, but keep my eyes locked onto his.

“You promise you weren’t thinking about sex while I was pouring my heart out to you?”

“Yes Ma’am..”

“Yes Ma’am? What am I, some old woman? God, Josh, you really know how to cheer a woman up.”

I keep looking at him, trying to look pissed, but eventually I fold, and one side of my mouth begins to tilt upwards.

“What?” he asks in confusion.

“Josh, I’m messing with you! Jesus, you’re like a kid that got caught looking at dirty magazines!” I drape my arms around his neck again and turn around so I’m straddling him. “Relax babe, I believe you, it’s fine.”

He lets out a breath I didn’t notice he’d been holding, and sinks back against the seat, probably relieved that I’m not pissed with him like he first thought.

“Buuuutt…” I tease as I bring my left hand from behind his neck and begin playing with his tie, “It’d be a waste to not take advantage of the situation. And we still have some time left….”

“What…”

I don’t let him finish his question, instead placing my lips firmly upon his, pulling him into me with the hand still at the nape of his neck. I trail the other down his chest, and stop only when I reach the zip on his suit pants. I break the kiss, nipping his lower lip between my teeth as I pull away. Carefully, I get off of him and sink to my knees, meeting his eyes with my own before pulling his zip down with my teeth, letting his cock bob free. He shivers in anticipation as I wrap my hand around him, and bites back a moan when I swirl my tongue over his tip before dipping my head and taking him completely in my mouth, deep throating him. His hips arch up, willing me to take more, but I’m already doing my best.

“Fuck,” he grunts, his hands coming to either side of my head.

“No,” I assert, my mouth leaving his cock, my hands grabbing hold of his. “You’re not to touch me, Josh. I’m in control here. Besides, I don’t want my hair messing up.” I wink at him, pin his hands down on the seat, and pick up the same rhythm I had before, purposefully running my tongue over his opening now and again. My hands leave his, and I bring them down to play with his balls, squeezing them lightly while I scrape my teeth ever so gently along his length. Josh swallows hard, making some strangled sound, and I know he’s not far from coming, so I pick up my pace, my hands and mouth working in unison. I look up to meet his eyes, but his head is thrown back, his nails dug into the car seat as he tries to restrain himself from guiding my head with his hands.

“Look at me,” I command, and he does as he's told, his lust filled eyes meeting mine as I stop sucking and run my tongue slowly along one side.

“Oh my…” He doesn't have time to finish his sentence before my mouth is filled with warmth, a warmth that keeps coming as I continue sucking. He jerks his hips up, and mutters something unintelligible, before falling back against the seat, limp. I notice his breathing is hitched, so I decide that’s enough for now. I clean him up slowly with my tongue and make my way back up his body, so I'm straddling him once again.

“Jesus, baby,” he pants as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him. “Well. That was, erm…”

“...fun?” I tease.

He doesn’t say anything back, but instead chuckles before placing a warm kiss on my forehead, his gesture telling me everything I want to hear. I smile at him, gazing into his eyes.

“I love you so much, Joshua, don’t ever forget that.” I kiss him gently on the lips. “I don’t know what I’d do without you or the kids.”

“Well, I can confidently say you’d starve. Who’d be there to feed you everything?”

“Hey! I’m sure someone would feel bad enough to come feed me,” I giggle. “But while we’re on the subject of food, what time is it?”

He glances at his watch and the absence of his arm around my waist leaves me feeling empty and vulnerable, as if I need him to protect me. But then I realise, I do need him. Not just to protect me, but to complete me. Without Josh, my life would be a shambles. There’d be no laughter in the house, and no screaming. On days when I want to curl up and hide from everything, there’d be no one to keep me going. I struggle to remember the days when it was just me and Pippi, but quite frankly, I don’t think I want to. Josh brought warmth into my life, and five children  along with it, and I can’t imagine life any other way. I realise I’ve zoned out, so I bring myself back to the present and see my husband grinning at me.

“I was just…. nevermind,” I sigh. “Sorry. What time is it?”

“Almost 8. We’ll be there soon. We should get ready to go.”

“Oh…”

Disappointment washes over me; I was so caught up in the moment and didn’t want it to end. I shift and sit beside him, allowing him to zip himself up while I pull out my compact and freshen up my make-up. This is going to be a long night…

*******

All in all, the meal wasn’t actually too bad; everyone enjoyed their food, and even though I was skeptical at first, I’m having a great time, the nostalgia having set in, making me grateful that we get to be together again, even if it is just for one night. The waiters have just taken away our dessert dishes, and the drinks are really beginning to flow.

“So, Jen,” Sam calls out from across the table, grabbing my attention, “How was Ava’s birthday party? You didn’t tell me how it went!”

“Yeah,” Natalie chimes in. “How did it go? I’m sorry I couldn’t make it, hon, I had to film.”

“Oh no, don’t worry about it,” I tell her. “I think she enjoyed it. She definitely got spoilt enough.” I notice the whole table has gone quiet; I know they love hearing about the kids, especially after they were all rooting for Josh and I for so long.

“Does she like the shopping cart Laura and I bought her?” Sam asks. “I had one as a kid and loved it. Except it wasn’t pink…”

“Oh my god, she loves it. She’s finding her feet now, so she pulls herself up on it and walks around with it. The only thing is that I have to basically wrestle it away from Josh so she can play with it. I don’t know who the bigger kid is!”

Everyone bursts out laughing, but Josh defends himself.

“Hey! It’s called playtime! She loves it when I put her in it and whizz her around the house. She laughs so hard!”

“Oh my god, that sounds so adorable,” Jena says.

“It is... Oh my god!”

“What?” Jena asks, confused.

“Liam! Get your phone out!” Liam chuckles, and searches in his jacket for his phone, knowing full well what I’m asking for. “The last time Liam was at the house, she pushed it around for a bit, rammed it into his leg, and looked at him as if to say ‘well, come on, Papa isn't here, so push me, bitch!’ She was squealing her head off..”

“...she sounded like a monkey!” Liam added. “It was so funny.” He plays around with his phone for a minute and then turns it around for everyone to watch the video. Sure enough, the sound of her laughing fills the table, along with everyone agreeing that she sounded like a chimp.

“God, I can’t believe she’s one already,” I say, a tear in my eye. “They’re all growing up so fast.”

“I remember when you told us you were pregnant again. None of us could believe it, especially so soon after Penelope was born!” Willow laughs. Oh my god, when did she turn into a young lady? She should still be the 12 year old I met all those years ago! I feel Josh’s hand squeeze my knee, a sign that he’s here for me, even though I’m getting emotional over the good times we’ve had.

“Yeah,” Francis adds, “In all fairness I was expecting you to announce you were pregnant again tonight!”

Everybody laughs again, but they quieten down when Josh clears his throat.

“Well…” Everybody’s eyes go wide, and I giggle.

“Oh my god, Joshua. Don’t even joke,” I scold and then turn to the rest of the table, “I’m not pregnant. Five is enough for now, thank you very much.”

“But…” Willow begins

“I was messing,” Josh interrupts.

“Yeah,” I agree, “He’s a dick.”

“Hey!” he sulks. The rest of the table go about talking amongst themselves while I turn to my husband.

“But you’re my dick.” I whisper to him, “and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I give him an eskimo kiss before moving in for a real one.

“Urgh,”

We part and look over to Liam, the look on his face telling us everything.

“I thought I’d be safe tonight!” he scoffs, taking a drink out of his glass. “Especially after last month!”

“What happened last month?” Natalie asks.

“Oh, it was nothing…” I begin.

But I don’t have time to finish as Woody cuts me off. “Oh I bet it was. Pray tell, Liam”

“I don’t think anyone wants to hear…”I try again.

“I do!” laughs Jena.

I glance at Liam, silently pleading him not to tell everyone what he witnessed. He downs the rest of his glass and then blurts out “I saw Jen and Josh having sex.”

I bury my head in my hands as I recall the very moment, and everything I was feeling at the time comes flooding back. Everyone around the table sits asking questions, wanting more details, while Josh and I sit quietly sipping our drinks, his hand still on my leg. I look down at it and smile, his support continuous. He squeezes it a little and then lightly begins to trail his fingertips up my thigh, sending shivers over my whole body. Drowning out Liam’s story and the laughs coming from our friends, I lose myself to Josh’s touch. I look at him, but he doesn’t look back, instead continuing to sip his whisky, a drink I���ll know I’ll be able to taste on his lips later tonight.

“What are you doing, Josh?” I murmur to him.

He leans over to me, and purrs into my ear. “Relaxing you. You seem so tense baby.” Suddenly, he’s hiking my dress up, and his fingers run a path along the hem of my thong. “Plus,” he teases, “I want to pay you back for the car ride over here.”

His hand is now between my legs, rubbing over my clit, which I’m sure he can feel is ready for him. And just as I’m about to take a sip out of my glass, he quickly enters me with two fingers, making me bump the table with my knee, drawing everyone’s attention.

“You okay?” Nina asks

“Yeah, sorry. I just um…” Josh pulls his fingers out and pushes them back in, this time painstakingly slow as I try to suppress a moan. “...just had a twitch, that’s all.” I look at the position we’re in, and hope we won’t be caught. We both have one arm under the table, so to anybody looking, it will just look like we’re holding hands. Well, I hope. He leans in and kisses me, and beings making a ‘come here’ motion with his fingers; a motion he knows only too well, and a motion that normally sends me over the edge in no time. I feel myself going red, so I adjust myself in my seat to try and cool down, but I only end up allowing Josh to push his fingers even deeper. I glance at him and the smirk on his face tells me he knows it’s hard for me to be quiet. I try biting my lip as he continues stroking, but it’s no use; my breathing has become frantic. It’s a good job the whole table is enthralled with what Liam’s saying, or else I’d have definitely given the game up for us. I’m edging closer to release, so I try and focus my attention on what Liam is saying, in order for this experience to last as long as I can possibly make it.

“...and there they were, mid-orgasm, when Jen caught my eyes.”

The whole table laughs and turns to look at me, and I let out an embarrassed laugh.

“Oh my god!” Sam blurts out, “Look how red you are!”

Oh no. I panic, thinking that I’ve just given the game up, and Josh must think so too; his movements have stopped. We freeze, just sitting there looking like two naughty school children that just got caught.

“Relax! It’s not like we didn’t know you guys had snuck off to have sex,” Woody adds before turning back to Liam, “And then what?”

Liam carries on with the story, while Josh and I simultaneously let out a sigh of relief. I pick up my drink, and Josh’s fingers start moving again, slower this time. I’m so close, but I just need a little more friction…

I begin to ever so slightly rock my hips in time with his fingers, and within seconds, I can feel the tension coiling tightly within me. All it takes is two more strokes from Josh and I come undone, flying over the edge in explosions of pleasure. I bite down on my glass to stop myself moaning out loud while the pulses continue, and Josh pulls out, pushing his hand against me in order to stop the jerking movements that I normally make during an orgasm like that. This goes on for what seems like an eternity, but when I finally calm down, and the earth is turning at the right speed again, I rest my head on my hand, unable to catch my breath. Unable to believe what we just did.

“Jennifer?”

I lift my head.

“Hmm?”

“Are you alright?” Nina asks again.

“Yeah, I…” I gulp, and move in my chair, noticing how damp my panties are, “...I just think the drink’s going straight to my head. I think I’m gonna head to the bathroom for five.”

I push my dress down, and lift myself out of the chair, making sure to pick my phone up as I go. I’ll get in the cubicle and text Josh, asking him to come meet me; he deserves another release after what he’s just done for me. You know, even though I was skeptical at first, tonight’s working out to be quite a good night...

[jhutchdirectory]

Happy Holidays! Already?

It’s never too early for Christmas and the Holiday season, right? Well, yeah, it is, so we’re not going to inundate you with every detail yet, but we wanted to make this announcement to get the ball rolling for what’s to come!

The jhutchdirectory will be sponsoring another Secret Santa fanfiction exchange for Josh/OC and Joshifer stories in December 2015. Like last year, there will only be one exchange, but you will be able to choose your preferences for both writing and receiving.

Details about and signup for the exchange will be made available in early to mid-November, and prompts will be distributed at the beginning of December so each author has a few weeks to complete individual stories. The exchange will run very similarly to last year’s exchange. You can find information about last year’s guidelines and rules on jhutchsecretsanta.

What can you do between now and signup time? Please reblog this to get the word out. We’d love to have as many people involved as possible. Also, feel free to track the tag jhutchsecretsanta for future announcements and details.

Thanks, and may your dreams be filled with sugarplums and Josh and/or Joshifer goodness!

[beetle-jude]

Chapter 20 - The Thing Is.. I Love You

We landed in New York a little after twelve, expecting yet another round of unpleasant fanfare. To my relief, the airport was mercifully empty. I cruised through Customs relatively unscathed, eventually making it to the hotel thirty minutes later.

It was very warm, the sky a lovely, summer blue. Clouds resembling tufts of cotton candy hovered near the cityscape, protecting several buildings from the scorching sun. No one wanted to stay indoors on a day like this. But it was a weekday; most people were ensconced in their offices, forced to witness the beauty behind glass.

After checking in at the hotel, our group separated. Justine took the dogs to Central Park, while Gilbert accompanied me to a restaurant near my temporary residence where I would meet with the director. He left at my request, promising to stay close if I needed him.

So, I chose a table for two by the window, clutching the menu in my hands. While deciding what to eat, my phone rang. I retrieved it from my purse, smiling as I recognised the number. I pressed it to my ear.

"Hey stranger."

"Hi." Josh said, his voice warm and strangely relieved. I felt a rush of undiluted affection, wishing I was there beside him, wishing I could wrap my arms around his neck. But even hearing him speak was more than enough. "Thank god. I was worried."

"Worried?" I repeat disbelievingly. "How come?"

"You know, given everything that's been happening." His tone went from light to disgruntled. "I saw the news. You'd think they have better things to report than us. I mean, people get married all the time. Some even younger than we are."

"Very true." I agreed, suddenly anxious. "Listen, you didn't by any chance read the articles, did you?" I didn't wait for a response. "Because it's total bullshit. Don't believe what they say. The ones who are real fans support you no matter what. If there are people who think they know better, they don't. Just..."

"Jen! Relax, breathe." He murmured soothingly. "You know I don't read garbage. I couldn't care less what they write about me. I have the one thing they don't have. I've got you. To be honest, it's all I need."

"Me too." I say, blushing. "But let's talk about something else. How are you? Why'd you call me?"

"Like I said, I was worried about you. I think that's what being a good husband is. Caring for your wife." He teased impishly. "Anyhow, I'm great, pretty excited 'cause it's the second day of filming. Right now, I'm on break."

"Oh really? What scenes have you done?" I wondered curiously.

"Um, let's see.. I filmed an important one with Brenton yesterday. In fact, I actually had to kiss him. It was very romantic. There was a bonfire and everything."

"So who kisses better? Brenton or Sam?" I raise an eyebrow, giggling.

"You."

"Nah, that's not what I asked. You gotta pick. Brenton or Sam!" I insist playfully.

"Erm, since Brenton's right next to me, probably eavesdropping, I'm gonna say him." He chuckled. I heard a resounding whoop in the background, followed by peals of laughter. "Okay man, she heard. Settle down, settle down."

"Better hope Sam doesn't find out."

"Don't tell him!"

"Kidding. Your secret's safe with me. What scene are you gonna do next?"

"Assuming that Wes likes this one, we'll be doing the scene where Kyle, Paul's ex boyfriend, tries to come on to him. But I got a feeling we have to do more than one take. Which is fine. I want this movie to be really good."

"Good luck, Spongy. I know you'll be great." I answer sincerely, beaming. "I'm proud of you, okay?"

"Thanks, babe. What are you up to? Are you getting something to eat?"

"Yeah. I'm meeting the director for lunch downtown. He should be here any minute." As if on cue, I spot Destin crossing the street, wearing faded blue jeans, hair pointing in every direction. I'd only met him once but I was interested in seeing what his vision was for the film. "Oh, he's here. I gotta go but I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay. I love you, Jen." He said brightly.

"Bye." Before I ended the call, I heard a voice in the background, playfully teasing Josh about being so lovesick. I hung up, smiling, just as Destin walked in. I waved at him, gesturing to the seat across from me.

"Hi Jennifer, thanks for meeting me." He said, depositing his iPad on the table. "I'm sorry, I'm late. Have you been waiting long?"

"No, I arrived ten minutes ago. I was on the phone actually so perfect timing!" I smile, instantly liking his easy, down to earth demeanour. "So how are you?"

"Good but I should be asking you. I mean, I'm from the area so I know my way around..." Destin chuckled, his deep brown eyes crinkling at the edges. I decided, at that moment, we'd be great friends.

For several minutes, we discussed the film over lunch. Since I'd only eaten toast earlier in the day, I was only too happy to listen while I ate. He obliged eagerly, filling me in on the plans for the film.

Production in New York was to take place over three weeks, covering the Walls family's life in the city. Filming would then relocate to West Virginia. I'd read Jeanette's memoir enough to know that the location would serve as the perfect backdrop for her nomadic lifestyle.  

Everything was ready; assembled in their respective film locations. The armies of assistant directors, script supervisors, costume designers, picture and sound editors awaited his instruction. Since I was the main character, as well as the narrator, I was required to be on set most days.

My call sheet was full, hectic. The day would start at 7am, first in the costume department where I would be fitted in my character's garments, before rehearsing with the crew. In between the hours of filming, I was allotted short thirty minute breaks.

"It's gonna be tight. Really busy." Destin said anxiously, glancing at me through his rimmed spectacles. "So, please let me know if you're feeling burnt out, because I'd be more than happy to stop for a little bit. Your health is more important than some deadline."

Touched by his concern, I swallow the last of my prime rib steak. "Of course, Destin. Thank you. Not many directors look after the actors. So it's safe to say that you're really one of a kind."

"You're welcome, Jennifer." He smiled. "The way I see it is, actors can only perform if their health is excellent. So don't be afraid to let me know, okay? Even if it's a little headache, we can always take a breather."

"Definitely."

"But anyhow.." He sighed, taking a look at his watch. He jumped in his seat, almost knocking over his glass of orange juice. "Shit, sorry. I've gotta get moving. Director's life, you know. Make sure you get some rest, okay? Big day tomorrow."

"Sure." I stand up, opening my arms to give him a hug. "Nice seeing you again, Destin. I promise, I'll be bright and early tomorrow."

"You too, Jennifer. Oh, don't worry about the bill, I'll settle that. I'm the one who asked you to fly out here. It's only fair that I get the bill." He grinned.

"Please call me Jen." I insist graciously. "Are you sure? I pretty much devoured a cow just then."

"I'm sure. It was interesting. Seeing you eat an entire steak. Amazing." He chuckled, pulling out his wallet as he loped towards the register. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Okay." I smile, liking his obvious enthusiasm.

He reminded me so much of Blaine. I left the restaurant soon after Destin departed, not wanting to be ogled at by curious patrons. I walked leisurely down the streets, marvelling at the vast buildings, the endless fleet of bright yellow taxis.

Though I'd visited several times in the past, I was still mesmerised by New York. It seemed to have a life and culture of its own, independent from any other city in the country; including Louisville. From the hot dog vendors stationed on every corner to the flashing billboard signs that never seemed to stop blinking.

After grabbing a latte, I decided to make my way to Central Park, see how my best friend and dogs were faring. The park itself was enormous and I'd never acquired a keen sense of direction. Cradling my phone in one hand, I crossed the busy road, narrowly avoiding a passing cab.

Flushed from my near accident, I walked through the park, keeping an eye out for the trio. Snow had dissipated from the surrounding groves of cedars; giving way to emerald green leaves that lined its vast branches. I'd walked past a stunning marble fountain when I spotted them.

Justine was dressed in her running gear, leashes held tightly in one hand while she conversed with a stranger wearing a bright blue cap. I tilted my head; wait a minute, I think I know that cap. My eyes widened as I recognised the white letters embossed on the front. UK.

I took off towards them at a run, nearly bumping into the dogs, who were waiting patiently beside my best friend. I beamed. "Hey! What are you doing here?" I threw my arms around his neck, relishing the way he held me.

Josh chuckled. "I came to surprise you and it worked! I've finished up for the day. I gotta be back early tomorrow though." He tightened his hold on me, his arms encircling my waist. I felt his lips in my hair. "God, I've missed you."

"Me too." I reply, inhaling his scent. He smelled like peppermint and cinnamon. "I think it's the longest we've been away from each other since our honeymoon."

"Right? You are worth the one hour drive from New Jersey to here. So beautiful." He pulled away to stroke my cheek gently with his forefinger.

I felt the skin there tingle at his touch.

"Ahem." Tin cleared her throat impishly, grinning. "Hate to break up the reunion but you are in full view of the public. Let's take a walk, shall we?"

"So, how are you? How have you been?" I ask as we strolled by the lake. Justine was a few feet behind us, keeping an eye on the dogs, who'd decided to frolic in the lush, green park lawns. Josh gave my hand a light squeeze.

"Busy." He smiled. "I'm working non-stop for the next few weeks. But it's lucky I'm in one location. It takes awhile for the energy to come back when you've been slacking off for an entire month."

"Wish I could say the same." I reply, sighing. "I'm in New York for three weeks then I'll be flying to Arizona for the rest of the shoot, I think? Yup, sounds about right."

"Oh, wow. How's your call sheet? Is it fairly reasonable?"

"Yeah.. It starts at 7am most days. Since I'm the main character, I'll be on set fifty percent of the time. You know, aside from sleeping or having something to eat." I laugh, not really caring as to who saw us holding hands or exchanging public displays of affection. We were, after all, a couple madly in love.

"So, are you holding up okay?" Josh asked, peering anxiously at me. I knew instinctively what he meant. I grinned, unable to bring myself to care. People could throw anything in my face; I just chose not to listen.

"I'm fine. Liz called me right after I landed, saying she'd released my statement but tweaked it a little." I shrug nonchalantly. "The original words are still there but apparently, I've also said how I still respect the prick. Like, I wish him all the best. Blah, blah, blah."

"Have you checked the Internet at all?"

"No. I don't think I will. I'll probably just enjoy New York. It's more of a pap-free environment than L.A." I look at the trees around me. "What's the point in worrying about shit I can't control?"

"Now, you stole the words right outta my mouth." Josh drawled in an exaggerated Southern accent. I laughed, nudging his shoulder ever so lightly.

"What about you?" I look down at our intertwined fingers. "Are you doing okay?"

He nodded thoughtfully. "I mean, I've never really read into the gossip they print. I have a life, I'm busy. It's not like I got time for that. Like just 'cause they write it, doesn't mean it's true." Then, he smiled.

"Tell me.." I say softly.

"My aunt, Amanda, called me. She was sifting through... Tumblr, I think it was? Yeah. Apparently, there are so many people on our side. They keep saying stuff like 'If it's true, you don't have any right to judge'. Or 'My god, my OTP's come true. Bless the Lord!'. I don't know what OTP is but whatever." He chuckled.

"Seriously?" The disbelief was strong in my voice.

"Exactly my response. It means they were rooting for us the whole time. Predicting we'd fall for each other." His face softened as his eyes flitted upwards to meet mine. I couldn't help but blush, it was a knee jerk reaction. "Are you hungry, babe?"

"No, I'm alright. I ate an entire cow just then, meeting the director." I puffed out my chest proudly. "How about you? Are you hungry? We could get something to eat. Tin's probably starved too." I look over my shoulder at my best friend. "Hey, Tin, feel like getting some chow?"

"Oh thank god, I thought you'd never ask!"

Giggling, I pulled Josh forward. "Come on, Spongy, let's find you some food."

After grabbing a quick meal from McDonald's, big surprise on his part, we retreated back to the hotel. Justine showered, then departed again, this time meeting a friend who lived in the city. This left Josh and I to ourselves.

I raised an eyebrow, watching him devour his Quarter Pounder, the way I ravenously demolished my T-Bone steak at the restaurant. A wide playful smile spread across his face as he opened his mouth to take yet another bite. A small piece of lettuce hung from the corners of his lips.

"Excuse me?" I say expectantly. "You got a little something on your.."

"Whoops, sorry." He brushed the stray vegetable from his chin. "Oh god, McDonald's never fails. Always fills me up right nice." He rubbed his stomach exaggeratedly, making me snigger.

"Actually, I think it does the exact opposite. You are bottomless. There is no in between." I quipped, giving my head a shake. Still, I reached for a French Fry, nibbling on it slowly.

"You're one to talk." He retorted, his eyes dancing.

The premium, three bedroom suite, located on the twelfth floor, was my home for the next three weeks. I'd initially opted for something a little less extravagant but eventually caved at the hotel's insistence. I'll admit, it was spacious; there was more than enough room for Pippi and Driver.

Reclining on the plush sofa in the living room, I surveyed the suite curiously. The walls were covered in wallpaper patterned with roses; a kind of style that gleamed when the sun's light fell upon it. The carpet was brown, soft; as if no one had ever set foot on it.

Both dogs were curled up on the floor by my feet, exhausted from their walk in the park. I used my toe to stroke Driver's fur, feeling the energy drain from my body. I'd been up since dawn, functioning primarily on adrenaline.

"Done!" Josh announced proudly, as if he'd just won a race. I transferred my gaze to him, dissolving into giggles when he scrunched up the paper bag. He belched. "Whoops. Big one. Ugh, I'm gross."

"Yeah, you are." I nod, laughing.

"Hey, you know you're amazing. Taking them both here. That's a hell of a job. Especially since you were accosted by paps." His forehead creased as he frowned. "You're okay? You're not hurt anywhere?" His warm fingers probed under my chin, checking for any visible sign of injury.

"Calm down, babe." I assured him, scooting over to make room for him on the couch. He opened his arms, allowing me to snuggle close. I lay with my head on his chest, relishing his touch. "I'm okay."

"Sure?" He buried his face in my hair.

"Positive."

"Alright, if you say so. I don't care about them but if they hurt you.." He took a deep breath as if to control himself. Then, his voice became soft, calm. "I can't believe how busy we're gonna be for the next few weeks."

"And we're gonna be apart most of the time." I whisper, suppressing the pang of loneliness surging through me. Yes, it was true. Our packed schedules meant several late nights on set, hours allotted for rehearsing the script, frequent travel. Barely enough time for us to see each other.

"No, don't say that. I'll drive up to the city from Jersey on the days I'm not working. You're here for three weeks. It's quite a while." He said optimistically. "Even if you're across the country, who says I can't visit you? Nothing is gonna keep me from seeing my girl."

I beam at his affectionate remark.

"Besides, this'll be over before you know it. We have Mockingjay promo stuff from July onwards. Comic Con, worldwide premieres, you know. It's my favourite thing about doing a series with you. We're together all the time." He threw his head back, laughing cheerfully.

Encouraged by his enthusiasm, I suddenly felt better, despite the imminent goodbye on the horizon. Once November hit, I'd be forced to say farewell to a beloved character; one I enjoyed playing immensely. It was an experience, stepping into Katniss Everdeen's shoes. After all, it was where I'd met the love of my life.

"Do you feel better now?" He asked, his warm breaths tickling my face.

"Always." I laugh at the irony of the statement.

Without another word, I pressed my lips to his passionately. After several days of not having seen him, I didn't plan on holding back. I moved my hands from his chest to his face, keeping him there.

Following my instincts, I pressed my body closer to his until I could feel his hips against mine. He reflexively kissed me back; I could sense the curiosity. He probably wondered why this was happening. But I didn't give him the chance to think.

Boldly, I moved his hands to my shirt, silently urging him to lift the material over my head. He obliged, freeing my shoulders from the blouse. Beneath it, I wore only a light, lace bra. He gazed at me, the love clear in his awed expression.

He trailed feather-light kisses along the nape of my neck, across my collarbone. Vaguely, I noticed that the room was empty; perhaps the dogs retreated to the bedroom to give us privacy. I worked quickly at removing his shirt, pressing my hands to his sculpted chest.

"I'll never get back to Jersey if you do this.." Josh said breathlessly.

"We'd better get going." I wink conspiratorially, kissing him. We made love slowly, savouring the moment. We were both dimly aware of an electric force present in the act, binding us together. Solidifying our bond.

Perhaps it was because of the knowledge that we would soon be apart. Or the joy we took in seeing each other again. Either way, I was pleased when he responded in kind, locking his arms around my waist as if unwilling to let me go.

The intimacy between us lasted for a few hours. I wanted nothing more than to lie there forever beside him. Reality was still present, hovering in the background, waiting for the right moment to remind us of our responsibilities.

He stayed behind to have dinner with me and to help feed the dogs. But at eight o'clock in the evening, as I finished rinsing the dirty plates, he reached for his favourite leather jacket. I turned off the tap, resigned.

"You really gotta go, huh?" I say, watching him slip his arms in the jacket's sleeves. God, he was so handsome.

Josh smiled apologetically. "I don't like it anymore than you do." He patted the pockets, making sure his keys were there. "But hey, call me whenever you like. If you can't sleep or whatever."

"Maybe on the days I'm off, I could come by. See Jersey City." I reply, quoting him. "Really, you're worth the hour drive."

His hazel eyes softened, making my knees feel like jelly.

"Get some rest, okay? Look after the babies for me. The next time we meet, I'll take em'." He tucked a loose strand behind my ear. "Wow, it's like we're trading kids for the summer. A custody thing."

I laughed. "Oh yeah, the kids just happen to have four legs and a tail."

He leaned in to kiss me, a perfect, goodbye kiss. The loneliness wasn't as bad as I expected, because I knew I'd see him again. Perhaps, in three days time.

Leaning on the doorjamb, I watched him walk down the hall towards the elevators. "I love you." I called, my voice sounding strangely loud in the silent corridors. He turned and gave me his special crooked smile. The one he knew made my heart skip a beat.

"I love you too, Jen!"

*****

The following morning, I woke up before my alarm, feeling immensely well-rested. After Josh had gone, I busied myself with preparing the things I needed for my first day of filming. I went to bed at nine-thirty.

Moving through the darkened suite in my fluffy white bunny slippers, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Barely twelve hours and I already missed his presence. I smiled as I walked into the kitchen, switching on the lights.

I fixed myself a lovely breakfast; the kind that would fill me up for a few hours. It was nothing fancy, merely eggs, bacon and toast. Just as I'd taken my first bite, the phone rang. I leapt off the stool, nearly ripping it from the cradle.

"Room 403?"

"Wow, you have a personal greeting now?" Josh sniggered. "You sound like those computer ladies. Funny."

"Har, har." I pretend to be offended, but in reality, I loved hearing his voice. "How'd you get this number?"

"Sweetheart, I was there yesterday. I know how hotels work." He pointed out, as if it were obvious. "But any-way, good morning. Did you sleep okay?"

"Morning." I smile, picturing him sitting in bed, phone pressed to his ear. He didn't have to report to the set until nine am. I was touched that he called so early. "Like a baby. It's weird, I only ever sleep like this when you're here. Maybe it's got something to do with the earlier, uh, intimacy thing we had going on."

"The sex? Oh yeah, mind blowing stuff."

"Don't make it sound so romantic." I retorted, giggling.

"Are you excited about your first day?" He asked eagerly.

"Yeah, before I slept last night, I was reading Jeanette's book. I can't believe I'm her for the next few weeks. It's gonna be awesome." I chirped brightly. I gasped. "Maybe I'll meet her."

"Control yourself." He replied, deeply amused. "Remember, what happened the time Lorde visited? You pretty much leapt on her."

"But she doesn't count." I insist, cheeks flaming. "She's a singer!"

"Whatever. Ease up on the lady, if you do meet her. You wanna make her feel comfortable, THEN, you show her how weird you really are."

"That is it! I'm hanging up!"

"Kidding, Jen, kidding." He laughed. "But in all seriousness, I wanna wish you luck on your first day. I know you'll be great."

"Thanks, hon." I close my eyes, basking in his praise. "You didn't need to get up early to call me. A text message would've been fine. Not that I'm not happy you called. Don't you have to be on set at, like, nine?"

"Sorry, I wanted to call my wife. I mean, it's allowed, right?"

"You're right, now I'm sorry." I say, stifling my laughter. "But honestly, go back to sleep. You've got a long day ahead."

"Okay, okay." He said in feigned indignation. "Let me know how your day goes, alright? I wanna hear all about it!"

"Definitely." I beamed. "Even if I text you every hour, on the hour?"

"Sure, why not?"

"I love you, we'll talk later, okay?"

"Love you too, hon. Knock 'em dead!"

Grinning, I hung up, replacing the phone back in its cradle. I finished my breakfast quickly, aware of how much time I had. Once the dishes had been cleared away, I skipped towards the bathroom, heading straight for the shower.

After I showered, I set out food for Pippi and Driver. They had just buried their noses in their bowls when there was a knock at the door. Thinking it was either Gilbert or Patrick, I wrenched it open, smiling when I found another unexpected visitor.

"Tin!" I say happily, giving her a hug. She looked relaxed, as well rested as I was. I pulled her into the room. "I was gonna stop by your room once these guys were done eating. What are you doing here?"

Justine grinned, shrugging. "Since you're pressed for time, I thought I'd make it easier by visiting. Got a great day planned for these two."

"Listen." I began, feeling a twinge of guilt. "You don't have to do this. Babysit them. I already feel bad for dragging you out here when you should be doing something else. Not indulging my every whim."

"Stop." She said firmly, her hands gripping mine. "Don't apologise. There's nothing to apologise for. If you remember, I CHOSE to do this. I'm the one who volunteered to hang out at the park with them. Like you, I enjoy doing nice things for people. Cut the self-inflicted guilt trip, alright?"

"Fine." I reply, biting my bottom lip. "They've already been fed so you're clear. How was your night?"

"Amazing." Her face glowed. Just like that, the seriousness of the situation dissipated; as if it never occurred in the first place. "I met this guy for drinks at Benihana. He's cute."

"Wait a minute, I thought you said you were meeting a friend."

"It might've started that way but by the end, I had feeling he'd become 'more', if you know what I mean."

"Tin-tin! Having a crush? Oh wow, this is unbelievable!" I clapped a hand to my forehead, pretending to be gobsmacked at this information.

My best friend stuck her tongue out at me. "I'd love to tell you more about Gabe but you gotta get going or you'll be late."

"Gabe?! His name is Gabe?!"

"Yes." Justine nodded. She gave me a playful slap on the butt. "Go, car's waiting for you downstairs."

Pouting childishly, I made for the elevators down the hall. I pressed the button, hearing the door behind me slam shut. I caught my reflection in the shiny gold doors. There was colour in my cheeks, my blue eyes seemed brighter than usual. I was ready, excited for my first day on set.

Stepping into the elevator for the journey back towards the ground floor, I reached for my iPhone, which was beeping shrilly. Grateful that I was alone, I fished it out of my purse, grinning at the message. It's from him.

/Good luck on your first day. Love, your proud husband./

I chuckled, typing out a short reply as the elevator descended towards the ground floor. /Thank you, babe. Right back at you. Sleep, for god's sake. X, your lucky wife./ Satisfied, I slipped my phone back inside my purse on my way out the elevator.

The lobby was mostly empty, except for two sleepy-eyed staff members behind the concierge desk. I gave the glass doors a push, making sure I waved at the staff. Approaching the sleek, black Lexus, I smiled, meeting Gilbert's eye. He'd kindly opened the passenger door for me.

"Thanks, Gil."

"No problem. Patrick's got a care package for you."

Buckling myself in the back seat, I tilted my head, confused. "A what?"

Patrick thrust a cooler bag at me, a small smile breaking across his face. "Ma'am, if you look inside the bag, you'll find three large Doritos packets, cinnamon rolls and pizza-flavoured Shapes. It should keep you full for at least a few hours."

"Well, um, thank you." I swallowed, not knowing what else to say. I'd always been friendly towards the men who protected me but not once did I expect something in return. I peeked at the contents, then zipped it shut. So surprised was I that I didn't even bother telling them off for not calling me 'Jen'.

The Lexus pulled out of the drive, merging effortlessly with the fleet of bright yellow cabs. I glanced out the window, propping up my elbows, watching the city awaken. People said that New York never slept; they were right. Billboards were as vivid as ever, flashing lights permeating the morning sky.

Vendors had begun to open up their wares. On more than one occasion, I saw rows upon rows of frozen hot dogs, corn cobs, pretzels lying flat upon a stove or an oven, ready to be cooked. New Yorkers emerged from their respective apartments, their homes; some were still clothed in heavy garments whilst others donned light material.

Curiosity got the better of me. "Um, Patrick?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Where's the set again?"

"First stop is Madison Avenue." He answered briskly.

I lapsed into silence, retrieving my iPad from the depths of my purse. According to the call sheet, I was pencilled in for hair and makeup, followed by two scenes within a luxury apartment that would serve as Jeanette's home. We never did the scenes in chronological order; it was always mixed, all over the place.

Heavy traffic slowed us down a little bit but eventually we made it to a corner of Madison Avenue that had been secured for film use. A young woman, presumably the director's assistant, led me into an apartment block. We passed several camera crews, sound engineers, even four clappers.

At long last, I reached the fifth floor. The apartment was beautiful, chic. Everything, from the furniture in the living room to the marble kitchen counter, bore evidence of femininity. Destin excused himself from a short conversation with an assistant director; grinning as he approached.

"Morning, Jen!" He said exuberantly. "Are you ready for some filming?"

"I am good to go, captain." I reply, chuckling.

"Awesome. Now, I want you to go next door. They've set up the hair and makeup department there." He beamed, adjusting the headphones sitting on his ears.

Obligingly, I headed towards the apartment next door. I tentatively knocked, shrieking with surprise when I saw who was waiting beside the dresser. "Oh my god, fancy seeing you here!!"

Ve smiled in a motherly sort of way. She hadn't changed much since we wrapped the Hunger Games. We'd maintained regular contact, though I was sad when she couldn't attend the wedding. Her golden hair still hung in straight locks around her face. Her eyes were framed by wide-rimmed spectacles.

"There's my lovely girl." She crooned affectionately, pulling me in for a tight embrace. I hugged her back, grateful to see a familiar face.

"Oh, honey, it's great to see you. You look radiant."

"Aw, thank you. How come you didn't tell me you were working on this film?!"

"Well, I only got the call last minute. Destin didn't ring me up until about three days ago. Lucky I was free."

"I'm so happy you're here." I say, sitting down in the makeup chair.

"Me too honey." Ve began dabbing at my face with a damp tissue, clearing away any remnants of last night's makeup. She began coating my skin in moisturiser and primer. "I'm sorry I couldn't come to your big day. But Jena sent me pictures. You looked absolutely stunning." She smiled.

Beaming from her compliment, I dismissed her apology. "It's okay. We were thinking of you. Josh and I."

"How is he?"

"Good. He's in New Jersey filming a movie called Boy Meets Boy. It's an adaptation of David Levithan's novel. Josh is playing the main guy, the protagonist." I answer brightly.

Ve chuckled, shaking her head as she reached for the foundation. I frowned, mildly confused.

"What?"

"Nothing. Married life definitely agrees with you." She murmured kindly. I blushed scarlet.

"Everyone says that."

"It's true, isn't it?" She raised an eyebrow in my direction.

"Alright, it is true." I concede, a smile breaking across my face.

"You know, I had a hunch you two would get so serious." Ve mused thoughtfully, squirting a little blob of foundation on her wrist. She twirled the brush between her fingers, then dipped its bristles in the liquid. I sat as still as I could while she applied the foundation.

"Really?" I didn't bother concealing the sarcasm in my tone. "Then, why didn't you tell us? Surely it must've been obvious?"

"Obvious?" Ve laughed exuberantly, throwing her head back. "Sweetie, it was so on the moment I met you guys. You gave each other mixed signals, ugh, it got taxing at some point. Like a damn soap opera."

I giggled as her brush moved to my cheeks, coating it in cool, brown liquid. It was the general consensus among the cast AND the crew. Our relationship. Are we or weren't we?

"But when I found out you two were dating, I wasn't at all surprised." She added in an unconvincingly casual tone. I couldn't help but detect an undercurrent of pride. "I've always thought you guys were great as best friends, if anything, better as a couple! Now y'all are married."

"Any advice for us, the newlyweds?" I ask, grinning.

"Keep doing what you're doing. If you can still laugh at even the most serious thing, then that's all you need. Humour." Ve brought the brush higher until it rested on my temple. She spun the brush around, blending the liquid with my fair skin. "The way I see it, you two have plenty."

"We try to keep it light. There's no point in being so serious. It helps when the world can be a real bitch." I say, my smile fading. I tried not to care much about tabloids or the ridiculous headlines but I wasn't completely immune either.

"Now if you're talking about the media, fuck em'." Ve peered at me sternly through her red glasses. "I've never known you to give a shit about what they say. I'm sure the true fans don't either. All you can do is laugh at the rubbish. Like when they mention a 'source close to the family'."

Her attempt at cheering me up worked. I chuckled, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I know right? I'm thinking 'Like my friends would talk to you lot'. It's hilarious! I remember watching Ellen and she talked about reading in a magazine that she was getting divorced from Portia. She's like 'Oh my god, are you serious? They were so great together!'"

"See? There you go. Be like Ellen! If anything, you could take a leaf out of her book. By the way, your character Jeanette. We're gonna go with au natural but just enough so it's clear she's wearing makeup. It will convey her affluent status which is different from her impoverished upbringing."

"Okay, sounds good."

"Now, Susan's gonna be here in about twenty minutes to do your hair. She went out to get a latte."

"Wait. Sue's here too?" I cried excitedly.

"Calm down, you'll mess up your face!"

"Oh, sorry." Chastised, I slumped in my seat. "I can't believe Sue's here as well. All we're missing is the cast!"

On the Hunger Games set, Ve had formed a strong friendship with Susan, the hair stylist. They bonded over hours in the makeup trailer. Su had eyes the colour of emeralds, which twinkled mischievously, and chocolate brown hair.

I settled against the makeup chair, letting my thoughts wander. I cast a glance at the collection of brushes. There were so many; used for brow, blush, kabuki, eye-shadow, powder. The size alone was staggering. For some women, me included, putting makeup on was no easy feat.

Susan. Ve. They made it seem so effortless.

Ve continued to blend, guiding the brush here and there, across my forehead. She retrieved yet another tool from the paraphernalia of cosmetics on the dresser, popping it open. She dabbed her brush in the powder, dusting it lightly on my skin.

My eyes were next. With an eye-shadow palette sitting firmly in her left hand, she used a new brush, a thinner one, to coat my eyelids in striking colour. I watched, amazed, as she transformed me from a pale, wide-eyed twenty-something year old to an elegant, worldly New Yorker.

That's what's interesting about make-up. You can easily become someone else. Even for just a few hours.

"Alright, honey, you're halfway done." Ve chirped brightly, hunting among her collection for a tube of lipstick. "I'm very glad you've been looking after your skin."

"Well, getting a spa treatment in Santorini can work wonders for ya." I wink.

"Oh, right! Your honeymoon. You went, where? Santorini?"

"Yup. Ah, it was amazing, Ve. It's just water for miles on out. Crystal blue water. The houses are all, like, whitewashed stone. The streets are super narrow. You don't use cars much, you reach destinations on foot." I chatter eagerly.

"Sounds heavenly." She smiled at my reflection. "How long were you there for?"

"Two weeks, then we went back to Athens. After another couple of days, we went to Paris and Rome. We were gone for a month."

"Long time. But you enjoyed yourselves, right?"

"Yeah." I sigh wistfully. "It wasn't just the relaxation. There were no paps around. It's like the closest thing we had to being normal."

"Pucker up, Jen. I'm gonna put some lipstick on you." Ve patted the corners of my mouth gently. I did as  asked, waiting patiently while she applied the lipstick. "Jen, you are a normal person. Don't ever think otherwise."

I blinked to show her I understood.

Before I could speak, Susan burst through the door, nursing a warm latte. She shrieked when she saw me, hurrying forward to plant a light kiss on my hair. "Jenny!" Susan cried happily. "Wow, it's been awhile. How are you?"

"She's good." Ve answered for me. I couldn't move my lips while she was applying lipstick. Sue laughed.

"Are you hungry, Jen?" Susan asked kindly. "I've got a bagel or two here somewhere."

Once Ve was finished, I smacked my lips. "No, I'm good thanks. I made myself a pretty decent meal this morning. I'm covered for the next hour."

"Jennifer Lawrence refusing food?!"

"Yeah, I know. It came as a shock to me too." I chuckled.

"Right." Sue clapped her hands. "It's time for your hair. Now, since you haven't dyed it or cut it, we'll go with a wig. I've decided on a strawberry blonde-reddish kind of wig. I know the character's a redhead but I want a wig that will complement your skin."

I smiled. "Whatever's best, Sue."

"Great."

Setting her latte down, she pried open an enormous cosmetic box, rummaging among its contents until she retrieved a lustrous wig. It was a beautiful thing; shiny, bright. Ve stepped aside to make room for her.

Susan brushed my hair out gently until all the tangles were gone. I sat still, remembering the moments when she'd secure the brown wig to my head, the wig that represented Katniss' distinctive brunette mane. She deftly separated my hair in two parts, pinning them up against my head quickly, gently.

Once my hair was safely secured by a hairnet, Susan flattened the wig to my scalp. She fumbled with the tabs on either side of the wig, making sure it was firmly in place. I gave my head a shake, feeling relieved when it didn't move.

All of a sudden, I saw a copper haired-woman smiling sheepishly at me. The shining copper locks fell in waves around my face, settling delicately on my shoulders. It truly was a shock; wearing a wig, seeing parts of yourself hidden by artificial hair.

Next was the costume change. I stepped out of my sensible jeans and Rag & Bone shirt, donning my character's long sleeve blouse and grey pencil skirt. I slid my feet into a pair of Christian Louboutin heels, securing the straps firmly around my ankles. I crossed my fingers, hoping I wouldn't embarrass myself during a scene.

Anna from the costume department gave me a gold band. I took off my  wedding and engagement rings, stowing them safely in my purse. I slid the prop onto my ring finger, where my bands used to be. Taking a deep breath, I pirouetted for Ve, Susan and Anna, eager to see their reaction.

"How do I look?"

Before either one could say a word, somebody else spoke; an clear yet pleasant female voice.

"You look wonderful. Exactly like me. Though my eyes aren't as lovely as yours."

I watched as a beautiful, red-haired woman stepped into the room. Her lustrous red hair fell in loose waves around her heart-shaped face. She wore a black blazer, green silk blouse and a dark skirt. It was none other than the author herself.

"Jeanette!" I say, opening my arms. "Hi. It's great to see you."

She returned my embrace warmly. "It's great to see you too, Jen. It's like having a twin sister. Honestly, they've done a great job making you look like me."

"Thanks." I answer with a proud smile at Ve and Susan. "What are you doing here? I didn't think you'd be coming by until we arrived in Arizona."

"Neither did I but I wanted to drop in. Maybe see New York again. I did live here for twenty years. Mostly, I just wanted to see the magic unfold, so to speak."

"Great, you're gonna watch me act? What if I screw up?!" I fretted, resisting the urge to bite my nails.

"You're not gonna mess it up. I've seen your films, you're amazing. My stepdaughter adores you." Jeanette said reassuringly.

I held my breath as Jeanette escorted me to the door. She smiled with motherly affection at me. "So, are you ready to be me?" She asked, rubbing my hand soothingly.

Here we go.

[italk-too-much]

Okay (Joshifer drabble)

One day you’ll wake up at 11:30am with the love of your life and you’ll make pancakes and coffee and everything will be alright...

It’s quiet when I wake. Well at first it is, and then I hear the soft snores beside me, the faint buzz of traffic and the still delicate tweetings of birds in the trees near the house that make me feel like it is still early, despite the lingering heaviness of sleep that tells me otherwise, confirmed by the sunlight seeping in the window through the fine, white curtains.

I roll on to my side, towards the snoring, my lips tugging upwards at the sound, at our closeness, at his presence beside me – even his gaping mouth and ratty old pyjama shirt. Nothing could make me wake him right now; he is exhausted. And fair enough, he’s been working tirelessly for weeks, and on his first scheduled down time longer than two days, he flew across the country and back to me.

Thank God too. Skype was beginning to suck, taunting me with his face on the screen and his voice playing through the room so realistically that he could’ve been here. Except he wasn’t, and what had first made the time apart somewhat easier, was now making it almost unbearable.

So I won’t wake him, not yet, although we have a lot of time together in these sheets to be making up for. He flew in late last night, and I had missed him so much, but with the two of us drained from working all hours as a way to soften the distance between us meant that I more than settled to curl up beside him in our bed, letting his breath lull me to sleep for the first time in what felt like, both forever and no time at all. Really it was a wonder I hadn’t woken up still clinging on to him as I was last night, almost scared that he wasn’t real and I had fallen into a Skype-induced madness.

But he’s here, and I know that from every one of my senses: the soft snores bubbling from his chest; the warm, solidness of him pressed against me; the image my eyes drink in gratefully; the scent of him back into our home, seeping into every crack once more. I can even still taste him, and his lips on mine when they first met as he stepped back through the door.

I look passed him and to the clock on his beside dresser. It’s after 11am; I’ve slept soundly for about 10 hours. I smile and press my lips in a whisper to his shoulder and spin out of the covers, heading to the kitchen with an excited smile on my face.

I feel like a child again, and, as I carefully, precisely and painfully slowly walk back up to our bedroom with the tray perfectly balanced (miraculously so) in my hands, I remember doing something very similar for my parents with my brothers on each of their birthdays; giddy with the hope of, albeit rehearsed, surprise and happiness from them as we presented a breakfast, usually burnt, soggy or just plain disgusting. It feels just like that again, simply because he is here and I am able to do it.

I’d also like to think that now my pancakes are pretty damn good.

I creep into the room and it’s either the coffee or the bacon or me saying his name that revives him gently from sleep.

He mumbles, and falls over to my side, his hands searching and my name falling incoherently into the pillows. He smacks his lips and opens his eyes, scanning the room until his gaze falls on me. I grin, so wide I think my face might split in two, and hold up the tray.

“Morning, Joshy.”

“Jen… what, why’re… when did – what?”

I laugh and he slides himself up, propped up by the pillows. When I join him, placing the food and the responsibility of not spilling anything with him, I snuggle in close to his side, pressing my lips to his cheek, his jaw. “I missed you.”

When he kisses me now, no longer exhausted or desperate like we were last night, I am sparked with an energy and something I imagine magic feels like that I just know, I know, everything is going to be okay.

___

(picture not mine)

Desperately  and stubbornly trying to shift my “no writing cloud” that has settled over my brain, so have a drabble! Please like, comment, reblog (babbling in the tags is encouraged and much appreciated), message and I thank you so so much! Have a great day! :)

[smolcreampuff]

Do You, I Do? Chapter Seven

As always, thank you for your patience and thank you for reading! We hope you enjoy :) hysterical-for-joshifer

-

It was quiet across the line for a while. He was probably doing a million things but she couldn’t bring herself to hang up the phone. It had felt like ages since she last talked to him. Which was only the night before but she was longing for Josh like never before.

"Josh," She asked hopefully, "Are you still there?"

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, Jen. I’m here. Just tired.”

"You know, if you come home you can come take a nap with me," She smiled, elongating the last word. It only took a deep sigh from him to wipe that smile right off her face.

"I know but it looks like I’m going to be in Sacramento three more days."

Jennifer groaned internally. “And then home?”

"God I hope so," Josh breathes out, sounding more stressed than ever.

"Good," She said, "Then you can come and see how well I can rest my bowl of Doritos on my stomach now."

He chuckled airily, only to be interrupted by the loud clattering of something across set, she assumed.

"Shit!" Josh uttered into the phone. "Babe, I gotta go. Bye."

And then he hung up. Without saying I love you, for the third time this week.

She stared at her phone with a small huff.

He’s busy. Of course he’s busy; he’s the goddamn producer. And she’s just being needy.

But she misses him more than anything. The baby wasn’t helping.

And to mention that she really needed Josh at the moment. For her own personal satisfaction of course.

She was how do you put it? Horny. Extremely.

"Stupid hormones." Jennifer mumbled, rubbing her belly. "Peanut, why do you have to make mommy feel this way when daddy isn’t home?"

Almost as if she was trying to respond, she sent a rather strong kick, making Jennifer wince just the slightest bit. It had been happening more often, just as expected as the days passed.

Along with the stronger kicks, the back pain was horrid. Jennifer missed Josh’s back rubs he would give her, back rubs that would then lead to earth shattering sex. Jennifer sighed. “Peanut, we miss daddy, don’t we?”

She didn’t kick this time but Jen could feel her stirring around like always, in agreement to her question.

Jennifer sunk back into the couch cushions and just when her eyes began to close, the front door opened.

She froze in momentary fear, silently wishing there was a knife or something around to defend herself. Quietly, she rose from the couch, peering around the small hallway leading to the front door.

When she saw Josh at the doorway she froze.

"No fucking way."

The stupid crooked smile she had loved since forever sat on his face, filling her with the best kind of warmth there is.

He smiled tiredly. “Hey.”

With a quiet, content whisper of his name, she rushed over to him and squeezed him as tight as possible.

Josh chuckled and wrapped his arms around her tight. “Hey, baby.” He whispered.

In her head, three weeks had turned into what felt like a year while he was gone. She had waited far too long to feels his arms around him like this.

Immediately, Jennifer crushed her lips to his, sloppy and rushed but he happily held her there.

"You’re not even going to ask why I’m here so soon?" He muttered against her lips.

"I don’t give a fuck," Jennifer mumbled pulling at his clothes.

"Hold on. Hold on. I have some other people to greet. We can’t be rude."

Jennifer rolled her eyes, only focusing on the heat coursing through her veins. Josh placed one last peck before kicking off his shoes and sinking down to his knees.

She smirked and ran a hand through his hair. “Good. You owe me after these three weeks.”

"Relax," He laughed, "You’ll get what you want."

But instead of what she had thought, his lips landed right above her belly button, placing a long kiss there.

"Hey there, Lilly bear," Josh said, lips pressed against her rounded belly. She could never get enough of the sight. She already knew he was going to be the best dad in the world but seeing him constantly talking to the baby made her heart swell.

"I missed you lots. Daddy was at work but he’s back for a little bit."

Jennifer smiled happily and pulled him back up to meet her lips. “He’s back but momma needs attention.”

"Mhmm," He responded, "We have lots to make up for."

Jennifer pressed herself against him. “You bet, big daddy.” She said smirking.

His eyes widened, holding her still for a second. “Jesus Jennifer, what have you been doing while I was gone?”

Jennifer smirked again. “I’ve been really lonely, so I had to resort to other options.”

"I don’t want to know."

And with that they were both silent again, their mouths too busy for unnecessary words.

Josh trailed his mouth down the contours of her neck, sucking and nipping the skin as his lips traveled lower.

She could let him kiss her neck all day if she wanted but she was too impatient to let that happen. She pulled him all the way to their bedroom, slamming the door open and pushing him down on the bed for a change.

"Wow," Josh said as Jennifer pulled off her tank top.

She silenced him with a wet kiss to his jaw, slipping her hands underneath the hem of his T-shirt. Her nails scratched at his chest, raking them up and down while keeping her lips busy teasing his jaw and lips.

"Jennifer." She hummed against his skin in an attempt to answer but by the time she reached his chest with her lips she couldn’t seem to pull away.

Josh pulled his shirt over his head swiftly, smiling softly at the feeling of her stomach preventing them from being completely pressed together. As she began to shimmy out of her sweatpants in an attempt to rush things along, his hands stopped her. “Let me.”

After throwing the rest of their clothes off to the side, her eyes met his, her blue orbs filled with want. Jennifer nodded wordlessly.

She straddled his hips and sank down onto him, starting a fast rhythm that would finish them in just minutes.

She couldn’t exactly lean down to kiss him because of her stomach but she kept her hands braced on his chest. Her head fell back, along with his against the bed.

Jennifer rested her head on his shoulder. “Oh God. It’s been too long,” She muttered as pleasure overtook her.

Josh chuckled but it came out as more of a groan. His hips still moved in tandem. “I know. I’m close.”

Jennifer placed her lips on the column of his neck and nipped playfully, helping him along. “Let go for me, big daddy.”

"Oh god, please don’t call me that. It sounds like we’re porn stars."

Jennifer smirked, foregoing on a response as she heard the tell-tale sounds of his orgasm. She didn’t think she could ever get enough of the sound of him muttering obscenities under his breath because of her.

Josh groaned as he emptied into her. “My God, Jen.”

She rolled off of him only to cuddle right back into his side, her hand pushing away the slightly damp hairs on his forehead.

"I missed you way too much," She whispered.

His laugh vibrated the both of them. “I missed you too. We cast the lead yesterday,” he added trailing his hand over her belly.

"Mmm." It wasn’t much of a response but she was two seconds away from completely passing out next to him and this damn movie keeping them apart was the last thing she wanted to hear about.

Josh chuckled nervously. “Remember the girl from when we were in Hawaii? The girl from the surfing lessons?”

"The one that was all over you every time you were near her? Oh yeah. Totally remember that chick."

Couldn’t this conversation be saved for another time? She was tired, she knew he was tired too and all she wanted to do was finally sleep in her husband’s arms again.

"Well, her name is Veronica. She’s the lead in the movie."

Her eyes shot open. “Little miss bleach blonde, stripper body is an actress now? Why do I find that hard to believe?”

Also, why was she getting so upset?

"She’s not blonde Jen." He deadpanned which only dug him in a deeper hole.

"Not the point, hun." She put emphasis on her nickname, hoping to get him almost as annoyed as she was.

Josh pulled away from her. “Why are you getting so upset about this?”

She hopped of the bed to grab her T-shirt, quickly pulling it back over her head before slipping back underneath the comforter. “I’m not.”

"Jen-"

"No, you’ve been gone for three weeks I want to enjoy our time together. We can talk about this some other time. Maybe not after we just finished fucking each other."

Josh wordlessly wrapped his arms around her. “You’re right.”

Her anger immediately turned into something that felt like guilt. She was expecting him to argue back but the sound of his quiet, almost shy voice made her melt into his touch.

Jennifer tried fighting back tears but her hormones took over. “I’m sorry.”

"Shh," Josh cooed, "Don’t be sorry. You did nothing wrong."

"You’re such a liar," She sniffled, the corners of her lips turning up into a small smile. He was kissing every inch of her face, making obnoxious smacking noises to go with each one.

A giggle escaped her lips. “Stop!” Jennifer squealed when Josh started to place feather like kisses down her stomach.

"Nope."

Instead of stopping to focus on her baby bump as usual, his lips traveled down past her navel until they met her slick, heated flesh. Jennifer’s hands gripped his hair, keeping him exactly where she wanted him.

A high pitched moan fell from her lips as he teased her with his tongue.

"Don’t stop," She whined.

"That’s what I thought."

-

Jennifer watched Josh as he slept, a relaxed smile on his face. She had woken up a little while ago but he was exhausted and she couldn’t find the heart to wake him up.

Jennifer felt a tug of her heart at the memory of how she had treated Josh earlier.

It was uncalled for but she didn’t want to be reminded of why Josh couldn’t be with her all the time. There was still a tiny spark of jealousy left; envious that Veronica would get to spend more time with her husband then she would.

And that was a totally different story.

She didn’t even want to think about how much he would be around her. Every. Single. Day.

Even though he was producing, Josh was still around her. Which was obvious but after the way they met, her mind twisted into different ways Josh would fall for her. Maybe Veronica would seduce him. Or Josh would just grow tired of Jennifer and fall hopelessly in Veronica’s arms.

She looked over at Josh once more, still passed out beside her. That can’t happen. She can’t lose him.

"Damn hormones," Jennifer muttered, wiping a few tears from her eyes.

Instead of dwelling on her fears more, she pulled the comforter back over her, leaning her head on Josh’s shoulder.

As if on instinct, Josh wrapped an arm around her, almost pulling her closer. That was one thing Jennifer truly missed about Josh; being in his arms. And she couldn’t bare the thought of him going back to Sacramento.

So she just let her mind clear, sinking into the warmth of him and the mattress underneath.

It felt like hours later when she awoke to Josh kissing down her neck.

A soft moan fell from her lips and she turned to face her side, Josh’s front flush against her back.

"Good morning," He whispered, continuing his actions to the dip of her collarbone and then back up the length of her neck.

Her eyes stayed closed. “Good way to wake up.” Jennifer felt him hard against her thigh. “Ready to go, huh?” Amusement laced her voice.

"Always, baby," He whispered huskily. She snorted.

"When do you have to leave?"

"Thinking about me leaving? Already? I’m crushed."

Jennifer rolled over to face him. “No. I’m preparing myself for when you do leave.”

"Cheer out of happiness?" He smirked, leaning in so their noses touched.

Jennifer narrowed her eyes. “That’s not funny.”

"Just a little bit."

Her lip poked out. “No it’s not.”

"It’ll be okay."

His hands traveled down to her stomach and rested them there.

"I didn’t see you for three weeks last time," She said.

"But I’m here now."

Jennifer knew that, but it wasn’t the same. Not at all. “I know, but the baby could come soon. I only have three weeks left. What if she comes when you’re not here?”

He kissed her forehead and let his lips linger there.

"I won’t let that happen," He stated, "I promise."

Before she could say anything more, her arms quickly flew to her stomach, folding over in momentary pain.

"I guess she’s awake," Jennifer managed to laugh through her teeth. The pain was gone but she swore those little tiny legs kicking inside of her we’re getting stronger than she could handle.

Josh smiled and rested his hand on her belly. “She’s up.” He lowered his mouth to her belly. “Hi peanut.” Jennifer watched with a smile as he continued to talk animatedly to their baby.

"We’re going to be those parents aren’t we?" She laughed.

"What does that even mean?"

"The ones that baby talk with their baby in that annoying voice."

Jennifer could feel his laugh vibrating against the skin on her belly. “I guess we are.” He continued in the baby voice.

"You know this is the first time I’ve slept well in days," She confessed. Between the baby keeping her up and not being used to the empty bed she could barely close her eyes.

Josh yawned. “I know what you mean. I’ve missed my bed fella.” He said, his country dialect slipping a bit.

"And me?"

He nodded. “And you.”

Jennifer giggled just a tad, snuggling back into Josh’s warmth. “I love you, Josh.”

"I love you more," Josh smiled, "But I think we need to get up and enjoy the time we have together. Yes?"

She groaned dramatically. “I don’t want to move!”

She felt another soft kick to her stomach. “Lilly agrees with me.” Jennifer said, rubbing the spot where she kicked.

"Five more minutes." He kissed gently where Jennifer’s hand just was.

"Good." She responded as her eyes drifted shut.

-

Jennifer couldn’t let go of him. He had to leave, she knew that, but she couldn’t let him go. Jennifer clung to him in the middle of their living room while tears hit the lapels of his leather jacket.

"Jennifer, please don’t do this," He sighed, "You’re not making it easier."

She sniffed loudly, pulling away to wipe her nose with her forearm. “Blame the damn hormones.” She muttered.

"That’s what you’re going to blame it on?" He smiled, knowing there was more to it then hormones.

And he was right; like always. There was more to it. Ever since lounging together in bed for three days, Jennifer couldn’t help but feel nervous about Josh returning to Sacramento. “I just don’t want you to go.”

"I don’t want to go either. Trust me."

Jennifer pulled away to scowl up at him. “Sure about that? I bet Veronica missed you.” She said, mockingly. Jennifer knew she was being bitchy, but this was something she just couldn’t let go.

He shut her up with a kiss. “If you’re ever worried, look at that ring on your finger and remind yourself who knocked you up.”

A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. “You did knock me up.”

"There’s that smile I love," He grinned, pecking her once more, trying to stall leaving as much as he possibly could.

"Do we have time for a quickie?" Jennifer moaned as his lips trailed to her neck.

"I’m tempted," He whispered against her skin.

Her eyes drifted shut as he continued his ministrations on her skin, probably making a hickey in place. “All you have to do is take off your pants and mine and just put it in.” Jennifer mumbled with a smirk.

"We shouldn’t," He muttered but he was losing his composure quickly.

"Please…" Jennifer whined in a needy moan.

"Fuck, I’m going to miss this," He groaned in response, working to undo the buckle of his belt.

Jennifer pushed his hands away and yanked down his pants, then hers. “Hurry.”

With a loud grunt he pushed inside her, already thrusting faster to start the rhythm.

Jennifer gasped, pulling him closer as Josh backed her into the nearest wall. With one movement, her legs locked around his waist.

Her moans echoed throughout the room and he pushed into her over and over again.

Soon, a wave of pleasure crashed over her and the same for Josh. “What a goodbye,” Jennifer breathed as she fought to catch her breath.

"Don’t remind me," He sighed tiredly into her neck.

Jennifer, with Josh’s help, hopped back on the floor. “I’m gonna miss you.”

After cleaning up and getting presentable once again, he pulled her close, trying his best not to crush the baby. “But I’m going to miss you more.”

Jennifer took a deep breath and melted into his chest. “Shut your cheesy ass up and leave before I cry again.”

He pecked her forehead. “I love you. I’ll call you when I get to the hotel.”

All she could do was nod.

And with another kiss, Josh was gone.

-

It started two weeks after Josh had left. The lower back pain. Jennifer passed it off as Braxton Hicks. But when the pains increased and a puddle of water suddenly appeared between her legs during the night, she knew she was in labor.

A week early. This couldn’t be happening. Not without him here.

Jennifer fumbled for her cell phone while pulling herself to a standing position.

"Hello? Hel- shit." Jennifer clutched her stomach, feeling the first contraction since her water broke.

Michelle’s voice came frantic over the line. “Jen? It’s three in the morning. Everything alright?” Jennifer knew she could count on her mother in law, who, thankfully, lived fifteen minutes away.

"I’m kinda in labor right now." It came out as more of a question but she’s was too busy focusing on the pains in her side, back, well everywhere really.

"Oh my God. Okay." Michelle seemed to stay somewhat calm. "After you get off the phone with me, call Josh. I’m guessing you have a bag packed?"

Jennifer nodded even though her mother in law couldn’t see her. “Yeah. It’s been packed.”

Michelle thought for a minute. “Okay. Good. I’m already on the way. I should be there soon. I know you’re freaking out right now. Take a few deep breaths, call Josh and your parents. It’s gonna be fine. Josh will make it.”

Even though she tried to calm her with words, Jennifer’s heart beat quickened by the second. No matter how many times Michelle told her, Jennifer had a feeling Josh wouldn’t make it.

She stayed put on the couch, wincing in yet another contraction.

"Michelle, you better get the fuck over here," She muttered through her teeth.

"I’m hurrying. Call Josh!"

Jennifer hung up the phone and quickly dialed her husband. She waited and waited for his smooth voice to answer but it never came.

"Oh fuck." She clamped her jaw shut, trying to ignore the pain slowly becoming closer and closer together.

Soon, headlights flashed through the windows and before Jennifer knew it, Michelle was helping her to the car. “My parent are trying to book a flight. Josh wouldn’t answer.” Jennifer whined, clutching her mother-in-laws hand tightly.

"Don’t worry, honey. We’ll get him here."

-

A strangled cry escaped Jennifer’s lips, her head thrown back. “Oh my God.” Jennifer had arrived to the hospital twenty minutes ago, already ready to push before they even entered delivery. Michelle stood at her right clutching her hand. Karen was on the next flight to LA and Josh was still unreachable.

"Breathe. Breathe." Michelle elongated each word to help Jennifer, who was breathing like there wasn’t enough air in the room.

"Alright, Jen." Doctor Adams said from between Jennifer’s legs. "On the count of three, I’m gonna need you to bear down and push. This baby is going to be here soon."

Jennifer let out a sob. She wished Josh was by her side. And on the other hand, she was furious he wasn’t.

She shook her head in fear. She can’t do this without him here. “No, no. I can wait- shit.”

Doctor Adams smiled at Jennifer. “I know, but you have to. The baby is crowning, she’s going to be here sooner than we thought.” Fear and anxiety started build in her chest and tears welled up in her eyes.

Michelle whispered in her ear. “Hey, breathe. Josh called while they were prepping you. He’s on his way.”

She let out a small breath of relief only for it to turn into another yelp.

"She’s got a lot of hair, mom." Doctor Adams said with a grin. "Big push for me, Jennifer."

With a string of profanities falling from her lips she tentatively began to push. Several more pushes and many profanities later, a shrill cry filled the room. Jennifer sagged against the bed with relief.

"You did wonderful, honey." Michelle said beside her. "She’s beautiful." Michelle’s voice was full of tears.

She was still out of breath but tears began to fall down her cheeks in happiness.

Jennifer’s eyes drifted to the corner of the room where they ran tests on her baby girl to make sure everything was okay since she was a week early.

The doctor turned back around to congratulate Jennifer but all she could think about was that Josh wasn’t there next to her.

The thought left her head quickly. The only thing she cared about was finally feeling her baby in her arms.

[azmeans23]

Do You, I Do: Chapter Six

~I am so sorry for the delay everyone, life has gotten in the way. I hope you all enjoy this. Thing will be getting tense from here on out for our newlyweds. ohmyjoshiferr and I hope you enjoy this. Chapter seven will be out soon!!

~~~ She figured it was just the hormones again. Josh called her, sounding rushed and out of breath, saying he'll meet her there because otherwise they would both be late. Her stomach twisted into knots and she was sure it wasn't because of the baby.Ever since Josh had started the process for producing this film, Jennifer couldn't remember the name, he had started acting different. Coming home later, more short tempered. She tried to understand, she really did. Acting was way different but coming home tired and even a little frustrated was never rare.Jennifer's thoughts were broken when a nurse called her name. "Mrs. Hutcherson?" "Hi," She said with a sweet smile. The nurse smiled back, setting some items on a counter beside her. Only when she was about to begin talking again did Josh rush through the door."I'm here! I'm here." He said hurriedly, causing a scene. Jennifer’s gaze fell to the ground in disappointment. Josh tried to lift her chin to place a quick peck to her lips but with her hand flat on his chest she pushed him into the seat next to her. "Sit down. We'll talk about this later.""I'm sorry," he mumbled, resting his hand on her thigh. Jennifer scowled at him, moving his hand from her leg. The nurse had left the room momentarily, leaving them alone for the first time that morning.Before he even had a chance to speak, Jennifer spoke up. "I don't want to hear your excuse.""Jen, you know why." "Josh," She fumed, "I just said I don't want to talk about this, okay? It's supposed to be a happy day and I would appreciate it if you didn't go fucking it up for me." His jaw dropped. "For you? Are you forgetting that's it's my child too?" "Oh no, I am very aware. Trust me." She rolled her eyes and her hands gripped the cushioned bed underneath her harshly. Jennifer cut her eyes to him. "It's your fault we're in this mess."His mouth shut tight, his anger more than visible from the clenching of his jaw. "You know what? You're right. This is supposed to be a happy day and I'm not arguing with you." "Good," Jennifer commented, crossing her arms like a cocky five-year old. "I don't deserve it." Josh scoffed loudly, letting almost turn into a laugh. "The amount of shit I've had to-" His rant was cut off by the sound of the door opening once again.Jennifer's doctor smiled widely. "Hey, you two! Ready to find out if this is a boy or a girl?"Completely caught off guard, Jennifer's lips twisted into a tight smile. Josh did the same.

"We're both excited." Jennifer lied. It was a cover lie but she really was excited. She just wished they hadn't gotten into an argument. They had both been looking forward to this moment more than anything."Alright! Let's get started!"

Jennifer gave a weary smile, suddenly more than nervous about all of this happening. She laid back on the cold, hard table as the doctor readied her equipment. Josh stood on the other end of the room watching silently.Her hands gripped at the sides of the bed again, wishing Josh was right next her now."Alright." The doctor hummed, before placing her cold hands on Jennifer's stomach feeling around. The baby within her kicked eagerly.A quiet giggle slipped from her lips at the feeling. The first time she felt a kick she almost fell on the floor. It was more scary than enjoyable but now feeling the baby kick only filled her with endless joy."Josh," the doctor quipped, "Are you not going to stand by Jennifer? Usually the two of you are all over each other."The smile dropped from Jennifer's lips just slightly. Josh locked eyes with her, searching for an answer. "I just... um I didn't- I should um," He rambled and stuttered not quite wanting to tell the doctor what had happened before. The look in Jennifer's eyes practically pulled him to her though. He set down his jacket and stood directly next to her. She held out her hand immediately for him to hold and he gladly took it in his. The feeling almost felt like everything was okay again.Josh leaned down and rested his forehead on hers. "I'm so sorry." She placed a quick peck on his lips, making up for the one she had denied before. “Later,” She whispered.

Josh nodded. "I know."

He mouthed. The doctor clasped her hands together and grinned. "Okay, Jennifer. I'm gonna put this jelly on your belly, and we'll see the sex."Jennifer giggled again in excitement, squeezing Josh’s hands just a little bit tighter.

“That rhymed- oh!” She jumped at the cold gel on her skin.The pair watched the screen with anticipation as the doctor moved the camera across Jennifer's belly. "Okay, it looks like," She said narrowing her eyes. "You're having a girl!"They were both speechless with happiness. Jennifer's lip quivered just slightly, tears pooling up in her eyes; almost like everything really just hit her for the first time. She looked up at Josh to see his eyes slightly glossed over as well, never batting an eye away from the screen.

"That's our girl," Josh said kissing Jennifer's temple. "You were right all along." Her hand covered her mouth in disbelief squeezing his hand impossibly tight."Oh my god!" Jennifer exclaimed. "She's so tiny." Josh and Jennifer continued to watch the screen as their little one moved."I know," He responded in awe.Josh looked over at Jennifer, who had a few tears trickling down her cheeks. "I love you, Jen."

"I love you so much," She smiled, her cheeks beginning to hurt from grinning so hard.

"Congratulations you two!" The doctor says after cleaning up Jennifer. "Let me get these printed and you can be on your way. I'll see you in two weeks."

As soon as she walked out of the room, Jennifer slipped off the the bed and crushed herself to Josh. Her baby bump got in the way just a bit but he pulled her even closer, leaning his forehead on hers."Jen, I'm so sorry," he mumbled. "I know," She sighed, "But you made it. That's all that matters."He tried to apologize again, but Jennifer stopped him with her lips. It wasn't much; just a gentle touch of her lips to his but needed in every way."We're having a little girl," She whispered in awe, smiling against his lips.Josh nodded. "No dating till she's thirty."

"Relax. We're not even thirty yet." She laughed quietly."Not much longer," he joked back. It became quiet between the two of them.

"We're good right?"She nodded wordlessly but it wasn't a lie. Everything had to be good. She couldn't imagine going through this without him.

~~~~

"Josh! Come here! Quick!" Jennifer called from the living room, where she sat on the couch. She could hear his rapid stomps down the stairs, almost laughing at the terrified look on his face as he reached her.

"What? Are you okay? Is the baby coming?"Jennifer held her head back and laughed. "No! But you have got to feel this!" she said, beckoning to him with her arms."Shit," He sighed in relief, pausing a minute to catch his breath. "You can't scare me like that."

Jennifer pouted. "This is important."

"I'm coming. I'm coming." He walked over to her, her body sprawled across the couch and reaching her arms out for Josh.Jennifer grabbed his hand and pressed it to her stomach. "Wait for it."As soon as his hand was pressed firmly against her skin, he could feel the fluttering of light kicks. His heart grew about ten sizes. "Someone's excited," He smiled, sliding next to her to put his lips against her stomach instead. He still felt every little kick."Yeah, well I'm excited to get her out," Jennifer groaned yet she couldn't keep the grin off her face. It was such a weird feeling but she couldn't get enough of it. "Only three more months." ' Josh thought, but that isn't what his mouth said. He didn't want to let Jennifer know that he alone was also irritable.It was a lot for them to handle so there was no doubt there would be unnecessary arguments but sometimes it really did feel like too much. But then moments like this contradicted every bad thought."What do you think about Lillian?" Jennifer said, breaking his thoughts.

"I think I like it."Jennifer grinned, resting her hands on her bulging belly. "You pick the middle name."

“I think we have to go abstract like the rest." "Josh, I swear-" "What?" He asked with an amused smirk. "If you suggest any color, fruit, or direction to name our child I'm kicking you out."Josh laughed.

"What about Apple?" He asked, just to see her reaction. She slapped his arm and rolled her eyes. "Oh god, stop it."

"Don't you think Lillian Apple Hutcherson sounds good?" Josh asked, laughing.

"It's sounds like a damn Yankee-candle scent."

Josh raised an eyebrow. "Yankee-candle?"

"Yes, Yankee-candle. Point is we're giving our child a normal name."

"Normal?" Josh quipped. "Like, Lillian Julia Hutcherson?"Her expression softened, her lips in something of a sad smile. "Josh, that's so pretty." She began to bite down on her lip to stop the unnecessary tears that were ready to flow.He groaned.

"Don't cry, Jen."She immediately scowled and wiped her tears. "Shut up. It's not my fault."Josh rolled his eyes.

"I know, I know, Jen. It's my fault. I am the one who knocked you up."

"That's not what I said."

"But that's what you meant." Josh deadpanned. She turned to lock eyes with him. She didn't know where this sudden tension came from but she wouldn't let it go unresolved."What the hell just happened?" Jennifer asked, raising up to face Josh.

"You tell me." "No," She stated, "I'm supposed to be the moody pregnant one. Not you."

Josh sighed, resting his head in his hands. "I'm sorry. I've been really worked up lately about this movie and I'm taking it out on you; which is wrong. We start casting tomorrow and filming location is in Sacramento." Jennifer's eyes widened. Sacramento? "That's over five hours away, Josh."His expression softened, casually brushing his fingers across her shoulders to get her to relax.

"I know but it's not my decision. It was the best option we had without going too far out of the way.

"Jennifer pouted, her lip quivering. "But what if something happens and you're not here?"He slid down on the couch so he fit snugly into her side. Normally it was the other way around but the baby had switched things up between them. Josh rested a hand upon her baby bump, gently tracing invisible designs upon it. He could feel the baby start to kick again and it brought a smile to his face. He couldn't believe they had even made it this far. "Nothing is going to happen," He promised, "I swear it."She looked up at him, tears brimming her eyes.

"You don't know that."

"Don't think that way, baby," He whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Jennifer couldn't explain how she felt, but something inside her made her stomach twist.

[levisnchucks]

Death by Josh's tongue. I hear you!!

So, a while back I had reblogged a pic or gif (I can’t remember at this point!) and added some tags about wanting to report an attempted homicide by Josh’s tongue.

Then I got this ask in the midst of being sent writing prompts and I couldn’t help but think, ya know, this would make a really excellent prompt when something comes along to inspire the story.

And then this happened

So, here ya go, a drabble inspired by your message inspired by my tags, lol!

My hand searches for the phone in the dark.  I find it a minute later, tossed on the other side of the bed and covered partially by the comforter.

Opening one eye, I squint to look at the screen.  Jen’s platypus face is illuminated on it.  I also notice the time at the top of the screen, 4:43 a.m.

"Somebody better have fucking died, Jen," I grumble into the phone.  My voice is gravelly from sleep and I clear my throat.

"You’re disgusting, do you know that," she asks.  I’m still too stuck between the land of the living and the land of the dead to be able to tell if she’s joking or serious.

Rolling onto my back, I throw my arm over my eyes.  I’m tempted to just let Jen ramble while I doze back off.  

"You’re calling me in the middle of the night to insult me?"

"Fuck yes, I am.  You deserve it after seeing what I saw this morning."

"Jen, I’m half asleep.  Get to the point or I’m hanging up."

The phone buzzes against my ear.  ”There, see for yourself what I’m talking about.”

Holding the phone up over my face, I slide my arm up to my forehead and squint at the brightness of the screen.  Opening my text messages, I see a picture from Jen.

It’s a screen shot of me, tongue hanging out and mouth open wide while on the red carpet.  The damn tongue cam that Kimmel did.

"Did you look yet," Jen asks.

I put the phone back to my ear.  ”Yeah, so what?  I don’t remember you complaining about my tongue being disgusting before.  In fact, I recall many times when you’ve told me what you wanted me to do to you with that tongue.”

"See, disgusting," Jen replies.  "Seriously, everyone else in the bit just stuck their tongue out or opened and closed their mouth real quick.  But not Josh.  Noooo, you just had to go full frontal on that one, didn’t ya?"

Shaking my head in amusement, I try not to laugh at her.  ”This is really bothering you, isn’t it?”

"You know it is, fucker."

I start to laugh as her tone gives her away.  ”You know what you’re mad about, Jen?  It’s not that I did that.  It’s that you haven’t had death by Josh’s tongue in a few weeks and it’s killing you.”

"Oh my God, Josh.  You seriously need to stop calling it that."

"I’ll stop calling it that when you stop screaming like you’re being murdered."

[hutchhitched]

The Vintage Joshifer Series: End of Love—Chapter 20

End of Love by hutchhitched

Hey, all! For those of you still interested in this story and/or Joshifer, I’ve finally finished it! This is the penultimate chapter. Chapter 21 will post next Tuesday. It’s already written, so no delay this time. I am beyond grateful my muse chose to grace during the month of July, and I’m equally thrilled to put this story to rest after next week. Even though the events in this chapter took place a little over five decades ago, current unrest in New York, Oregon, and a number of other places are reminiscent of the struggles of those years ago. It’s disheartening, but this story has always been a little too close to current events. I know I’ve said this often, but the fight’s not over.

Historical events in this chapter include the following:

The Stonewall Riots began on June 28, 1969 at the Stonewall Inn, a well-known gay bar, in Greenwich Village in New York City. Gay patrons, tired of frequent police mistreatment and brutality, fought back when police raided the bar. The struggle evolved into a six day civil rights protest and ushered in what is known as “gay pride.” The words of Jennifer’s news report comes from an article in the New York Times on June 28, 1970. I took some artistic license by including it a year prior in the story.

WNBC is the local NBC affiliate for New York City. It gained its call letters in 1960.

There was a massive presence of African American trans activists involved in the Stonewall Riots. I don’t include that in Josh’s experience because I wanted to keep him close to his friend’s character in the story, but intersectionality studies have done a wonderful job at providing a better look at the true historical picture of Stonewall.

The Stonewall Inn is still a working bar in New York City. I was able to visit in the days following the legalization of gay marriage in the United States in June 2015.

Last but not least, the Woodstock Music Festival took place in August 1969 near Bethel, New York. It was a three day music festival that was the pinnacle of the counterculture movement in the United States.

New York City, New York, June 1969

 “Where’s your friend’s place?” Connor asked as he and Josh exited the subway and onto Seventh Avenue. “I’m ready to put this bag down and get to the bar.”

 Josh grinned at his younger brother as they hoofed it south to Andre’s apartment. It had been much too long since Josh had experienced all the city had to offer, and he was looking forward to trying to forget his broken heart in booze and weed and meaningless sex. As if any of that actually dulled the pain he felt every time he thought about Jennifer. Which was every second of every single day.

 “Quit being so impatient. We’ve got nothing else to do besides party for days. Happy graduation, bro,” he said with a clap on Connor’s shoulder. “And we’re here.”

 Andre buzzed them up, and Josh tried to hide his happiness at being reunited with his friend. They hadn’t seen each other since the concert in New Haven before… Before he went back to Chicago and fell into domestic bliss with Jennifer and lost himself in the process. If he could figure out how to go back and do it over, he would, but the fact was that he wasn’t a good boyfriend. Monogamy wasn’t his thing, and nothing about the months he’d spent in the Midwest made him think he could balance his personal life with activism. He wasn’t good at splitting his attention between two things, especially when one was a leggy blonde whose pussy made him want to worship between her legs for days. Besides that, he was in love with her, and it scared the shit out of him.

 “Good to see you, man,” Andre huffed through their hug. “I need a catch up on everything since we last talked. Been out in Cali with your bro, huh?”

 “Yeah, Andre you remember Connor. Connor, Andre. Out at Stanford with him. Just trying to find my way back.”

 “Back to what?”

 “Let’s smoke a bowl first. Then I’ll tell you. It’s too much right now.”

 An hour later, the three were sprawled across the living room as smoke hung heavy in the air. Josh felt his bones dissolve and his head float into a happy space, one where he wasn’t a fuck up or a failure. Instead, he was that idealistic kid from Kentucky who genuinely believed he could change the world, shape it into something that was just for everyone, including Andre and his own  brother, who’d come out since Josh joined him in Stanford. He hadn’t wasted 1968 in bed with Jenn. He hadn’t failed to help change the minds of those who looked down on others as inferior.

 “I went to Chicago. You know that,” he spoke into the haze swirling above his head. “I found her. She was beautiful. Is beautiful, and she’s so talented. So much more herself than she was at Berkeley. I’m so proud of her. She’s a reporter on the local NBC station. Reported on the DNC protests and made a name for herself, but me… Things didn’t go so well for me. Chicago chewed me up and spit me out and ruined me. She ruined me. Except she didn’t. She saved me. I lost myself, and I was dragging her down with me. I couldn’t do that to her. I had to leave, to give her space to really shine, and to figure out how the fuck to find myself again because I’m so lost. I don’t know how to fight anymore. How to stand up for what’s right when I know I’m not doing that for her. I don’t deserve her, man. I don’t, and I couldn’t drag her down anymore. So, I left. I wrote a note, and I ran. Haven’t talked to her since.”

 His voice trailed into silence, but the music continued to pulse. Andre nodded, clearly working through the information, and Connor closed his eyes and rolled his head from side to side. Nothing Josh had said made him feel any better. All he’d done was be honest about his actions. He wasn’t looking for approval, and he wasn’t looking for advice. The best thing he could do was leave her alone to succeed and thrive on her own.

 He told himself that later that night when he picked up a woman in the bar and fucked her in the bathroom. He repeated that mantra when his brother decided to return to California and leave him in New York to find a job. He insisted he was being honest with himself when he switched on the local news and realized Jen had transferred to New York. And then he reiterated it when he agreed to join Andre for drinks at the Stonewall Inn.

 ****

 Josh swept his dark hair out of his eyes and pulled it back into a ponytail. He chuckled at the thought of what his dad would say if he saw his elder son’s hairstyle. Chris had always been loving and supportive outside of his frustration over his injury, but that didn’t mean he thought men should wear long hair. It was shaggier than Josh was used to. At some point, he needed a haircut, but he couldn’t seem to justify paying for something so mundane when there were a million other things that were more important. He was itching for a cause to support in a meaningful way, and it felt like something was coming.

 The air itself was heavy. New York City in the summer was often full of heat and humidity and that day was no different. The temperatures hung in the mid-90s well into the later afternoon as he made his way south through Greenwich Village toward the gay bar Andre frequented.

 It felt good to be in the city. Even though he’d never lived there, it felt right somehow to be in the cradle of counterculture, even if he’d gotten a little too comfortable with the status quo during his months in Chicago.

 Seven months since he’d seen her in person. He still couldn’t think about what she’d felt when she found his note, how she’d crumbled when she realized he wasn’t coming back. He knew she’d been waiting for it. Despite his irresponsible actions and inability to commit, he understood Jen better than he did himself. She’d known he was going to run, had been preparing for it the entire time they’d spent together, and he’d proven her right.

 Being without her was terrible for him, but it was everything she deserved. She was too good for him, always had been. Even when she was spoiled and selfish, she’d had class and an innate kindness that he’d never be able to emulate. Josh strolled the last short distance with a wry grin gracing his face. He allowed himself the length of the block to beat himself up, and then he plastered on a smile and waltzed through the door of the Stonewall Inn.

 The bar was dark with bulky furniture and a long row of stools framing the shiny wooden counter. Bartenders pulled beer and mixed drinks quickly and served them with flirtatious smirks that elicited copious tips. Andre called his name from the back, and Josh twisted his way through laughing groups of men who were finally able to relax in a world that wasn’t ready to accept them.

 “My man,” he said as he tugged Andre into a hug and was then introduced to the rest of the group. He tried to remember their names, but the words were lost in the din of the club. He ordered a beer and sat back to listen as his friend interacted with the other men.

 “Things are worse,” Andre insisted. “There hasn’t been a raid in a while, but it’s only a matter of time before the pigs show up again.”

 “It’s shit,” another man agreed and tucked his blonde hair behind his ears. “Sometimes I wonder if we ought to do something about it. Fight back next time or take it to the streets.”

 Andre seemed more relaxed than Josh had ever seen him as the group discussed the political climate of the nation. Advances in equal rights for a number of groups hinted that change could be in the near future for gays and lesbians, too, but it was understandable that the bar’s patrons didn’t trust the nation’s power structures. And why would they? There’d been so little progress for the gay community since McCarthyism and the oppression of the decade before.

 Josh lost track of time as he drank and listened. He contributed when he felt like he had something to say, but he mostly enjoyed hearing about the movement from insiders instead of trying to insert himself. Despite his close friendship with Andre and his own brother’s coming out a few months prior, he didn’t have a lot of contact with men who were attracted to other men. He’d always loved the female form, although he’d considered sexual attraction to the same sex. Somehow, it had never happened, and he didn’t feel like forcing something would do any good. He’d rather be supportive of those who had those feelings that try to be someone he wasn’t.

 A tussle by the door caught his attention. Andre and the others at the table tensed, and Josh felt the hair on his arms rise. Something was happening, although he wasn’t sure what.

 “It’s a raid,” Andre muttered as he rose and pushed Josh behind him.

 “What do you mean?”

 “I mean, it’s a raid. The pigs are here.”

 Josh watched in disbelief as police swarmed into the bar and yelled at the patrons. Drinks spilled, and men scrambled as police batons emerged and landed on those sitting at the bar. Time seemed to slow down, and he watched in disbelief as a brawl broke out in front of him. He’d drunk too much; that much was clear, but he felt like he was in a dream. Drifting along beside Andre, he joined the protest, raising his voice next to his friend and others he didn’t know. He yelled and marched and raised his fist as the streets became a battleground. He watched as those around him sparked with pride and celebrated their liberation.

 He hadn’t felt the rush of working for something that mattered for so long, and it felt amazing. This wasn’t his personal fight, but it also was. What could be more personal than standing against police brutality and for the rights of everyone?

 As the sun rose over the horizon, Andre and he stumbled home and slept for a few hours before rejoining the fray. For the next three days, he felt himself coming alive. When the police beat him, he curled in on himself and ignored the pain, and when it was all over, he lay in Andre’s apartment and realized he had to stop running. He’d left Chicago because he wasn’t worthy of Jen’s love, and he’d done nothing in the seven months since to change that. He needed a purpose, and he had to stop waiting for one to come to him. Instead, he had to go find it.

 ****

 But then suddenly she was there on his television—Andre’s television—and he forgot everything except how much he missed her. He gaped at the screen as she talked and tried to quell the ache in his gut.

 “…today’s remnants of the riots from Greenwich Village. A reminder, thousands of young men and women homosexuals from all over the Northeast marched from the Village to the Sheep Meadow in Central Park three days ago, proclaiming ‘the new strength of pride of the gay people.’ This movement, which some are calling gay pride, rejects the oppression of gay men and women and demands equal treatment and respect in society and under the law.

 Thousands have taken to the streets, marching and protesting against police brutality and raids of gay bars and clubs. I’ve spoken to a number of protestors, and each reminds me that this movement has been long in the making. Stay tuned for further coverage. In the Village, I’m Jennifer Lawrence for WNBC, Channel 4.”

 “That a girl,” he murmured as the screen faded from her to the anchor in the studio.

 She looked amazing. A little more mature and stylish than she’d been in Chicago but also happy and confident. The slightly nervous energy she’d always portrayed on the screen in the Midwest seemed to have evaporated on the East Coast, and it was a good look on her.

 “Was that her?” Andre asked lazily, his grin visible from the dim corner. “That’s your chick?”

 “Yeah, that’s her,” he breathed.

 Andre took a hit and passed a bud to him, and Josh inhaled twice sharply. It took a few minutes, but the marijuana did exactly what he wanted, which was to loosen him up and relax. He couldn’t believe they were in the same city again, and he wondered briefly if they were drawn to each other unintentionally or if there were cosmic forces at work to reunite them. How could he explain to anyone that two people who lived in Kentucky ended up halfway across the country together at college in California, reunited and lived together in the Midwest, and then landed in the same city on the East Coast?

 Well, now he needed to get his shit together. The only problem was he had no idea how other than following his calling. He was an activist. That was part of him down to the marrow in his bones, and she was still a reporter. How was he ever going to reconcile that restless, never satisfied portion of him when Jenn was a part of the system? How could he fight “the man” when the woman he loved was part of it?

 “I can see the wheels turning, Hutch. What’s going on in that big, beautiful brain of yours?”

 Josh sighed and swiveled his head to face his friend. “I’ve never been good enough for her. I don’t know what to do except leave her alone, but I can’t stand being without her.”

 “You know, you don’t have to give up everything for a cause, especially when it’s not your own.”

 “They’re all my causes,” Josh protested. “Just because I’m not oppressed doesn’t mean I shouldn’t work for change.”

 “Just because oppression exists doesn’t mean you should martyr yourself.”

 Josh started to retort but snapped his jaw shut. The words hit hard and low in his stomach. His friend was right. Denying himself happiness wasn’t helping anyone else, and it certainly hadn’t made his or Jennifer’s lives any better. He’d broken both their hearts for far too long, and he had to figure out how to make it right.

 “You’re right, man. I know you are, but I’m just not there yet,” Josh sighed. “I think, though, that I might need to move here once I am.”

 “Always a spot here for you, Hutch.” After a few minutes of silence, Andre added, “There’s talk of an event here in a few months. Think you could stick around and facilitate planning? Might help you get your mind right, and then you can head back to California to see your brother and get the rest of your stuff.”

 “Yeah, I can do that, I guess. What is it?”

 “A concert. Somewhere upstate.”

 “A concert?”

 “Not just a concert. It’s a movement. Days of music, and all of us communing with nature.”

 Josh rolled it around in his mind for a few minutes. It sounded like something to occupy his time while he got himself together. The next day he met with the planners of an event they affectionately referred to as Woodstock.

 ****

 “Josh, I can’t tell you how much of a help you’ve been during this,” his boss said as they moved a stack of flyers into a crate. “I wasn’t sold when Andre asked me to take you on, but your creative ideas have been stellar.”

 “Just trying to help out however I can,” he responded. “Glad to have something to do that might help the cause.”

 “Every little thing helps. Now, you’re off for the week. Go enjoy some good music upstate. I’ll see you behind the scenes.”

 Josh gave a two-fingered salute and made his way back to Andre’s apartment. They were hitching a ride with some other friends and making their way north to the festival, and he still had to pack before they could leave. He was almost there when he decided to pop into the corner bodega and grab some food. Who knew what kind of opportunities there would be to eat with however many people showed up in Bethel? They’d had to change locations not long ago and they’d tried to plan for all eventualities, but that didn’t mean Josh couldn’t bring some extra sustenance.

 “Always be prepared,” he said to himself with a laugh and turned the corner. He stopped dead in his tracks. Not a hundred feet away was a woman with long blonde wavy hair. “Jennifer?”

 He chased after her, but he quickly realized it wasn’t her. The same thing happened at the festival several times. Woodstock was a gas, a writhing throng of bodies with music that transcended him and made him fly with happiness. For the first time in a while, he felt like he knew himself. He’d helped plan it. He’d thought ahead to bring food when so many others wasted time searching for dinner. He was surrounded by friends and people of like mind. The lack of restrooms and facilities to bathe didn’t bother him. That could all wait until he returned to the city, which came much too soon.

 Back at Andre’s, he smoked weed while he took a long, soothing bath. He jacked off lazily and let his mind drift to a slew of different times he’d been with Jen. He fantasized and planned and finally came to the realization that he needed to head back to California to tie up loose ends and spend time with his brother. Connor would help him focus. Being back where he and Jennifer had first met and fallen in love seemed like a good idea.

 “Tomorrow,” he decided. “I’ll buy my ticket. California, here I come.”

[joshs-left-earlobe]

Red Eye (A Joshifer Drabble)

This came from inspiration I had last night after seeing the SNL episode. By the way, how awesome was that? We hoped for a cameo and we got so much more! Please enjoy this bit of Joshifer on this lovely Sunday morning.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Don't leave yet," Jennifer implores, her voice desperate to keep him with her if even for a few more minutes. 

Josh smiles during their final hug of the night, satisfied he was able to see his buddies again before the big Los Angeles premiere on Monday. He hates leaving Jennifer, especially knowing there's fun to be had with his Hunger Games crew in New York.

"I've got to go, Jen. I'm sorry, but I made a commitment to help with this charity run tomorrow at the Rose Bowl." Josh's eyes plead with her, and his voice begs for forgiveness as he continues, "If I catch the red eye, I'll be home in time to get some sleep before the event. You know how busy we'll be Monday. You understand, right?"

Jennifer's face burrows in the crook of his neck, shaking her head to voice her displeasure of his leaving.

"Jen, I'll see you on Monday. It's not like before. C'mon... you can't get all emotional every time I have to leave."

She reluctantly lifts her head from him and looks down, her eyes glassy with impending tears. She steps back so she doesn't stand so tall above him. "It's just every time you leave, I'm not sure how we'll be. If we'll still be best friends."

Exasperated, Josh pushes a held breath past his lips. "How many times do I need to remind you? There's no one else like you. Just because I leave, doesn't mean I'll come back thinking anything differently about us."

The sudden knock on the green room door jolts the pair to attention. Jennifer calls out, "Sorry, I'm almost done!"

A voice they both recognize belonging to Woody hollers back, "Okay, you two. They want to get everyone out of here. We're heading to the bar for the after party."

"Okay, see you in a few!" Josh replies, but directs his attention back to his forlorn costar, buddy, best friend. "What's gotten into you lately? I don't understand where all this separation anxiety is coming from. You act like a girl whose parents have divorced after 20 years of marriage or who keeps getting dumped by all her friends. None of that is true."

Not able to tolerate his criticism any longer, Jennifer pulls away, her veins heated with anger that he would judge her like this. "Do I need an excuse for wanting to be with you? Must I explain why I like us being together as much as possible?"

Drops cascade down her pink cheeks as Josh approaches, closing the gap she created between them. "Shh, you know I can't stand seeing you upset, but I've really got to go. I want to settle this and understand where you're coming from before I leave you."

She rips away from him and walks to the mirror, dabbing her eyes to appear less tearful. She breaks a slight smile as Josh hugs her from behind. 

"You know, Jen. You know I love you so much, right?" He mutters into the fabric of her black jacket. 

She leans forward, head resting on the mirror, palms on the counter to steady herself. Sobbing, she returns the sentiment, "I know you do. I love you too, Josh. That's why it's hard to see you go all the time."

"Do you put Liam, Woody, anyone else through this every time they go?" Josh asks, truly curious if that's Jen's way of dealing with separation.

Jennifer turns abruptly, wiping the water from her face. She sarcastically laughs, "No Josh. I don't put them through all this."

Josh stands dumbfounded, not sure what to do or say next. 

"I remember being so excited to see you when we started filming Catching Fire. I knew you had a girlfriend, but you didn't change. You still made me feel like I was your number one."

Josh backs up to the opposite counter and sits onto it, listening intently. "Go on," he says with a grimace.

"But then I broke up with Nick. You were there for me. Remember that first night you stayed over and we binged on fast food then passed out on the sofa?" 

Josh nods with a half-smile, "Yeah, what the hell was on the TV when we woke up? A Honey Boo Boo marathon?" 

They both laugh remembering that strangely intimate, platonic night they spent together and all the nights that followed afterward. They had become best of friends, with Jennifer relying on Josh more that he would ever acknowledge. 

"That night and so many others solidified our relationship, you know?" Jennifer continues as her tears dry and her tone becomes more resolute. "So when you left for Panama, I had no doubt about us, no anxiety or fear of losing you."

Josh hangs his head down. He senses where this is going. He peers up at Jennifer and says it for her. "Jen, I couldn't help falling for Claudia. She shouldn't come between our friendship. She knows how we are together, and she's fine wi --"

"SHUT UP, Josh!" Jennifer is right in his face. "It changes everything!" Realizing what she has just said, she runs over to the couch, falling limply onto it and jamming her face into the pillow in embarrassment.

Josh peeks at his phone, realizing time is ticking away fast. "Jen, baby, I've got to go. But I don't want to leave you like this. I can't leave you this way." He's perched on the couch, running his hand along her blonde hair so he can see her face. "We'll be together in less than two days."

"Stay with me," Jen's muffled voice squeaks from the pillow she's squashed herself into.

Josh lies on top of her and he feels her tension melt with his pressure. "I really can't, Jen. I've got to go." He dreads walking out the door, but she's not budging, not giving him an inch in this argument.

She shifts her body so she faces him. "Don't go. Not yet." Her blue eyes penetrate his sad hazel stare. Her hand travels along the bit of mustache on his lip and the scruff along his jaw. "You become more handsome every time I see you."

"Jen..." Josh implores, the longing undeniable in his expression. "We can't."

"But can't we?" Her sly smile makes him laugh. "For old times' sake?"

"God, you're such a fucking seductress, aren't you?" The twinkle in his eyes prove to Jennifer that she may just win this game.

"Me?" she says, blinking her eyes innocently.

Josh runs his hand along her cheek. "You better not let any of this get out."

Her giddiness overwhelms her as she grins widely. "Have I ever?" 

When his lips touch hers, she counters ravenously as she takes in his bottom lip, savoring its softness. Her hands grasp the back of his head, pulling him forward as his minty breath saturates her tongue.

He tastes the bit of chocolate she popped in her mouth when they entered the room just minutes earlier. Jen and chocolate - such a familiar association, but doesn't he relate so many things with her? 

As his tongue glides over hers and her breath changes pace to synchronize with his, he wonders how he ever thought he could manage having a normal relationship outside of his love for Jennifer. Even when he has a girlfriend -- a steady, devoted, beautiful woman, his heart remains tethered to his longtime costar.

Her slight moans within his mouth cause him to stir below. He must deny his impulses. He's not a cheater, but he doesn't want to leave her hanging. He breaks the kiss and sprinkles a few more onto her luscious neck.

"Jen, I'm sorry babe, but I've got to leave."

Knowing she'll miss him terribly, but confident that she hasn't dropped from number one, she decides to ease up on him.

"Okay, Josh. I'm sorry, but I'm glad you understand where I'm coming from now."

He helps her off the couch. "Yeah, but maybe you can choose a better time to hit me with this stuff than when I'm running to the airport."

She punches him in the arm. "Maybe next time you can be more understanding when I'm feeling vulnerable. Asshole."

Rubbing his newest injury, Josh says. "And people think I joke when I say you're crazy!" His teasing grin reassures Jennifer that he's not angry. "By the way, you look beautiful. You can step away from the mirror now." He points at the time and motions his request to leave.

"Okay, okay," Jennifer offers."The least you can do is walk me to the bar. That will give me more time to talk you out of catching that flight."

"Just try Lawrence, you just keep trying." 

They walk arm in arm to the back door. Jennifer gives a soft peck on Josh's cheek before they exit. "I'm never letting up on you, Josh. You should know that by now."

* * * * * * * * * *

Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it.

[dagger-undisclosed]

Round Two

Hiya lovelies! After a long time away, I’m actually back! 

I’m sorry I was away for so long, but my uni hours were messed up, and I ended up working through the night, and then my best friend came over from France, so it’s been a busy month. But it’s over now and I can relax!

I’ve been reading back over the stories, and I’ve noticed that between January and December they get progressively longer, this being one of the longest, so enjoy!

As you know all know, you can read my other Joshifer stories here, and remember... all stories in this series are rated-M!

*Disclaimer* I don’t personally know Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson or any other person included in this story; it is all a work of fiction, and in no way do I wish to infringe upon any of The Hunger Games franchise or anybody included in my stories.

It's chaos. In fact chaos doesn't even come close to describing the house today. The kids outside are getting rowdy, their bellies rumbling for food. My wife, who's as stressed as the kids are hungry, has a hysterical Ryan sat on the kitchen counter top, attempting to clean his knee and put a band-aid on it after he fell over on the gravel. I pick up two trays of sandwiches from the table and go to take them outside, but I stop in front of Jen and our son.

"Mommy can't help you while you're crying and moving, RyRy," I tell him, "think you can be all brave and sit still for two minutes?"

He stops screaming and opens his eyes to look at me, his muddy face streaked where his tears have cleaned the dirt off. He looks at Jennifer, who nods, reassuring him that what I'm saying is true, before looking back at me and nodding, bringing his fingers up and placing them in his mouth to soothe himself, a trait I know he gets from his Mom. I’ve seen several pictures of her when she was Ryan's age where her fingers are in her mouth, but it’s something I wouldn't change for anything in the world. When he's like this - calm, watery eyes and fingers placed in his small mouth - my heart breaks and I want to do whatever I can to help. But Jen has it covered, and my hands are full so I can't do much at the minute anyway.

"That's my boy," I say, placing a kiss on his temple, "let Momma fix your ouchie."

I turn and look at Jen, who seems like she's on the brink of tears.

"Hey," I whisper, grabbing her attention, "calm down. We've got this under control. We can do this."

"Thank you," she replies, before taking a deep breath, and for the first time today, I see a smile make its way on to her face.

"No, thank you," I say, "for giving me such a wonderful family." I lean in to kiss her and as I do, I accidentally rub up against her chest; she's so much bigger and more sensitive than normal now that we're trying to wean Ava off the breast. I break this kiss, and see Jen looking lustfully into my eyes. It's a look I know all too well; it's usually followed by mind-blowing sex, but since we have guests we'll have to wait.

"Sorry baby, whatever you're thinking will have to wait until tonight," I tease, "but for now I think I'll have another kiss..." I move close to her, and I'm just about to make contact when I hear calls for food coming from outside.

"Go, Josh," she giggles, pushing me away ever so slightly as she turns back around to Ryan, "Go feed everyone!"

I chuckle as I walk outside, listening to my wife and son interacting over his graze, which he'll probably use, along with his big blue eyes he gets from his Mom, to get whatever he wants over the next week or so.

Placing the trays down on the table, I look around, taking it all in. A few of our family members are stood around the BBQ at the bottom of the yard, our old director Francis having taken over the cooking, giving our families and friends time to relax and interact with the kids and each other. They're all chatting, beer in hand, and I smile when I see Pippi and Driver sat at the side, waiting for any leftovers that might come their way. The yard is filled with laughter and screams, and I wouldn't change any of it for the world. The huge bouncy castle is full of kids and adults, (if you can class Woody as an adult; he's at the bottom of a huge pile of children) and there's not a single face without a smile. I realise it's the last time we'll ever have a first birthday party at our house; we both agree that five children is enough, and I start to feel nostalgic. I’m thinking about Hope's first birthday, when it was just the three of us, when I'm suddenly pulled back to reality, sensing a little girl with a brown braid running around my legs.

"Hope, be careful,” I warn, “there's a lot of food here. Go play around somewhere else baby girl."

She looks up at me with her big blue eyes, and I can't help but see Jennifer in her. She's her double. They've even got the same, uncontrollable curly hair that I hate having to braid on school days.

"Sorry Papa," she says before running off across the yard, her cousin Bear on her tail. I swear, those two are inseparable, and I think about all the trouble the two of them have ended up in together throughout the years as I walk back into the kitchen.

"...I know you're excited baby, but you have to calm down." Her words become clearer the closer I get. "There's a lot of people here and you could get hurt even more. Ok, RyRy?"

I reach Jen and slide my arm around her waist, taking her a little by surprise.

"What's this?" I ask, glancing between the two, "what's Momma just said, Ryan?" I heard her, but we've made it a habit to always ask him, making sure he's actually been listening and has taken in what he's been told. God, all our kids are so like their Mom it's unreal. Except Shrader. He's more like me...

"Momma said no more running," he begins, looking me straight in the eyes. "Lotsa peoples here, so I could get hurt again."

I smile and kiss him on the forehead. "Anything else?"

"Erm..." his little face contorts, and I can almost sense his brain working to remember what he's just been told. "Oh! I gots to be careful with Peppi, 'cos she's smaller than me." Once again, I find myself smiling, remembering all the times Ryan has tried to play with Penelope without realising that she's so much smaller than he is.

"Look at you," I tell him ruffling his hair, "you'll be as smart as me soon!" I hear Jen scoff, so I turn around to face her.

"What's that meant to mean, Mrs Hutcherson?"

"You? Smart?" she asks, her head thrown back in laughter.

"Hey! I can be when I need to be!" I chuckle, and Jen just looks at me with the cheesiest grin. God, I love her so much. I start what we finished a few minutes ago and place my lips on hers. My hands move from her waist to her hair, and I pull her further into me, deepening the kiss. I can feel my pants beginning to strain as I harden, and I let my tongue seek battle with Jen’s, who then lets out a small moan as I bite on her lower lip. I pull away and start moving upwards towards her ear...

"...Mr Josh!" I turn around, and see Liam's youngest niece stood pointing at the counter top. I follow her finger, and there he is, our little boy who puts the 'trouble' in 'double trouble', crawling along the counter to Ava's birthday cake. Quickly, I leave Jen's side and run towards him, picking him up only seconds before he reaches his destination. Hands and feet flailing, he comes with me, knocking over beakers and trays of food in the process. I turn him to me and he wraps his legs around me and buries his head in my shoulder, automatically aware that he's done something wrong and will be punished.

"Ryan Joshua!" Jen scolds, "What did I just tell you about behaving?"

Our little boy picks his head up from my shoulder, my shirt already tear stained, and looks at me, instantly aware that what he was about to do was wrong.

"I'm sowwy! Please, Papa, no time-out!"

"I'm sorry, buddy, but Momma did just tell you to calm down and behave."

"No!!" He tries to escape my grip, kicking his legs and thrashing his little body against me. Holding him tightly so he doesn't fall and hurt himself again, I move us back over to the counter top where we originally were, and go to place him on it, but with him still kicking and thrashing, it's an almost impossible task. Fine. If he's not going to sit on it, he can stand on it, so I lift him up that little bit extra. His first foot finds the top of it just fine, but he's still throwing a tantrum, so he's still using his other to kick out.

Suddenly, everyone freezes and I'm aware of some coldness spreading down my chest. Looking down, I see my white shirt slowly turning red. My gaze shifts upwards again, and I find Ryan frozen on the spot, looking down at the pink paper cup that was upright a second ago. Some of the red liquid runs out of the cup and down the counter, while the rest of it runs down me, making my shirt wetter and wetter by the second. He looks at me, and the tears continue streaming down his face.

"I'm sowwy Papa!" he bawls. "I'm sowwy!!"

Without saying a word, I pick him back up off the counter and hand him over to Jennifer, who takes him in her arms, and then I immediately turn and walk away from him. We've found not saying anything and walking away is the best way to make him realise he's done something wrong, and although it sounds nasty, and he may cry for a while afterwards, it's the only method that works.

"Papa!"

I can hear his bawling and crying as I enter our bedroom, and even there, he's still audible.  As hard as it may be, I ignore his pleas as I pull off my wet shirt, throw it in the laundry basket and start looking for something clean...

*****

"Ssssh," I bounce the screaming boy in my arms up and down, trying to soothe him once again. "Come on baby, calm down." I kiss his temple, and this seems to grab his attention. He lifts his head up and looks me straight in the eyes.

"Papa mad at me?" he sniffles, wiping his sleeve along the bottom of his nose.

"No baby, Papa isn't mad at you." I caress his cheek, wiping the falling tears away. "You need to calm down a little. Papa is just upset you wouldn't listen to him." His bottom lip quivers again, new tears threatening to cascade down his face. "You need to say sorry when he comes back down. Think you can do that buddy?"

His little hand is playing with my necklace, his attention entirely fixed on turning it around and around.

"Ryan," I say, a little more assertively as I pull my necklace out of his grasp. It falls onto my chest, but I wish it was Josh that was brushing against me, not my jewellery.

"Ryan, baby, you have to say sorry to Papa when he comes back down. Think you can do that?"

"Yes Mama."

"Good boy."

"I go play now, Mama?" he looks at me wide-eyed and teary, fingers in his mouth, and I can tell he's getting tired. I kiss the top of his head as he tucks it into my neck.

"No baby," I say softly as I start to make my way back outside, "you still need to go in time out." I hear him moan, and start to protest against my shoulder, but a yawn cuts him off. "You're getting tired baby, you're going to sit with Grandma."

I make my way over to my Mom, but see she's too busy sorting Hope and Bear out... I don't know what they've done this time, but I'm sure I'll find out soon. Turning around, I spot Josh's Mom sat in front of the bouncy castle chatting with Liam, who has Penelope and Ava sat on either knee, so I decide to go ask for her help.

"Michelle," I call out. She turns in her chair to face me. "Would you mind taking Ryan please? He's getting tired but he's in time out so I don't just want to put him in bed 'cos he'll just play with his toys."

"Actually, I was going to ask if I could feed Ava?" she begins, "We have to leave in the morning and she's growing up so fast. I don't know when I'll get to see her next."

"Sure," I reply, adjusting Ryan, who's falling asleep. "There should be a few bottles of milk in the fridge, but if she won't take them you'll have to come get me to feed her. I think she's due a breast feed; the last one was a few days ago." She smiles and nods at me before taking Ava from Liam's left knee. Penelope, who was on his other, takes advantage of the situation and escapes him, toddling down the garden, blanket in tow. I giggle to myself as I watch her go; she's so cute, especially with her small tuft of brown hair being held together by an elastic on top of her head.

"Where's Josh?" Liam asks me, and my gaze shifts from my daughter to him. She may not be on his lap anymore, but Ava still has his finger in a strong hold, and I can see him trying to escape her grasp; I doubt that'll happen anytime soon seen as she gets her strength from her Dad.

"He's upstairs changing. We had a little incident in the kitchen so I want to go see if he's okay..."

"Ok, well, I'll take Ryan." He sits back in his chair, having finally escaped Ava's hold, and looks at me.

"Are you sure? He shouldn't be much trouble. He's half asleep."

"Jen," he mocks, "I've dealt with him while he's about to start World War 3. I got this. Hand him over!"

I hand my baby over to his Godfather, thank him and head back into the house. It may have been accidental, but Josh brushing up against me earlier got me all worked up. I make my way up the stairs imagining what I'd do to him if I walked in on him naked...

*****

I'm just about to put on a clean shirt when a pair of arms snakes around my waist, making me jump. I turn my head to the side a little and see my beautiful wife peppering my shoulder blades with kisses.

"God, Joshy, I don't think I'll ever get enough of you."

I chuckle and relax as she comes around to my front, placing her lips upon mine. Instantly, the heat that was present in the kitchen returns, and I find myself pulling her further into me, deepening the kiss. My pants begin to tighten, and Jen must sense my arousal as she unzips my shorts and  slips her hand into my boxers, stroking my hard cock.

A single moan escapes my lips, and she pulls away, nipping my bottom lip as she goes. She looks at me teasingly, and straight away I need more contact. My lips crash onto her collarbone, attacking it with kisses as I move upwards. As I reach her neck, a wave of pure pleasure runs through my entire body; her perfume is intoxicating. I continue my journey towards her lips, getting drunk on the mixture of scents and tastes coming from her. All that matters in this moment is us, and everything else disappears.

But I'm pulled back into reality when a quick shove to the shoulder sends me staggering backwards. My knees hit the edge of the bed, and I'm forced to sit on the mattress below. I love it when Jen knows what she wants; when she's this forceful I get turned on so much more. I'm staring at my wife stood above me, her dress clinging to all the right parts of her body, when unexpectedly she bends down and places her hands on my thighs as her face edges closer to mine.

"We don't have much time Joshy," she purrs against me, before taking my bottom lip in hers again, biting it as she pulls away, her intense gaze locked onto my eyes, "and I'm already more worked up than you. We need to get you caught up." Her hands slide up my inner thighs and find the waistband of my boxers through my open fly while her lips find my neck. She moves her hands back down, rubbing over the bulge in my pants as she does so.

"Take them off" she demands between kisses. I nod, and she steps back, allowing me to do as I'm told. I push both my shorts and boxers down around my knees in one motion, and both our attentions go to my erect penis as it bobs from side to side, suddenly free of all restriction. I glance away and look at Jennifer, who's dropped to her knees between my legs, her eyes focused on my most intimate area. I have hardly any time to think about how wrong this is before she wraps her left hand around my throbbing shaft, tucks her hair behind her ear and then takes as much as she can in her mouth.

Slowly, she glides her lips down my cock, one hand stroking it up and down while her other plays with my balls. She moves her head back up, and I'm ready to be deep in her mouth a second time when she stops, running her tongue over my dick as it comes out. She kneels there for a few seconds, licking my tip, eyes locked onto mine, and then greedily takes me in again, this time at a much faster pace. I start thrusting my hips up to meet her movements, my hands on her head, pushing myself deeper as I fuck her mouth. God, it feels so good. But I need more.

I take my hands off of her head and re-tuck her hair behind her ear so I can see her beautiful face as she works. Knowing that her breasts will be even more sensitive now that she's all worked up, I reach for them, sliding my hands down the front of her dress, discovering she has no bra on. Unfortunately, though, the strap on it prevents me from lowering it to free her; I can't even slide it down her arms. Frustrated, I begin kneading her swollen boobs, eliciting a low moan from Jen, which vibrates against my cock.

"You like that, baby?" I tease as I move my hands to her nipples, squeezing and twisting.

"Ugh," she moans again as I continue. The hand playing with my balls leaves me and goes between her legs.

I think she's playing with herself when, out of the blue, she lets me fall out of her mouth with a 'pop' and stands up. I watch her as she steps out of her blue lacy thong and screws it up in her hand. Without saying a word, she comes towards me, hikes her dress up and locks her hands together at the back of my neck, placing her knees either side of mine on the mattress. She's facing me, hovering only inches over what I know she wants so badly.

"Jennif..."

She cuts me off with a kiss, and ever so slowly, she lowers herself onto me, only parting from me to let out a loud moan.

"You okay?" I ask her, but instead of words, I just receive a nod. Deciding to let her go at her own pace, (a mutual agreement, even after all these years, especially when she's on top and I can get so much deeper) I will myself not to thrust upwards and instead sit there until she begins to move. After what seems like forever, I see the muscles in the top of her legs tense, and she slowly moves upwards before coming back down to where she was a minute ago. But instead of carrying on like that, she quickens, panting and moaning in time with her movements.

"Josh, I don't know... how long... I'm going to last" she moans between kisses and pants. I want to reply, but all that comes out are groans, grunts and expletives.

Jen's pace quickens even more, and I start thrusting into her, willing her to take more. The temperature in the room is increasing, and you can already smell the sex in the air. But it's just an even bigger turn on.

"I'm close!" she squeals.

"Fuck," I grunt as I bite her neck.

"JEN?"

I freeze, the gruff voice on the stairs having brought me back to earth, but Jen continues grinding against me.

"Don't stop!"

I pick up the rhythm I had before, and our moans just get louder as we near orgasm.

"Jen?" Liam's voice is even closer than before. "Where are you?" A loud grunt escapes my lips, and the next thing I know, Jennifer's arms are no longer around my neck but are instead stuffing her panties in my mouth to quieten me as she whispers that she's so close, before biting down on my shoulder, refraining from moaning herself. I can taste the juices that are soaking the panties now muffling my groans.

"Jen, Ava won't take the bottle, you need to come feed..."

My wife's mouth leaves my shoulder as she suddenly lifts her head. Her movements cease, as if she's frozen to the spot, and she stares at whatever is behind me. But I can't stop, not while I'm this close to the edge. I thrust into her once more, but instead of finding my own release, it gives Jen hers, and she orgasms around my cock, crying out my name through gritted teeth as she throws her head back. I continue thrusting while she bucks against me, her tightening walls giving me the extra stimulation I need; just enough to send me over the edge.

"Oh god, Jennifer," I groan into her panties as I empty myself into her. I carry on thrusting until I'm spent and no longer hard. When I look at Jen, instead of finding the usual, satisfied look on her face and her cheeks flushed with arousal, I see her whole face is red, and her eyes are welling with tears. I move my head, and Jen pulls her thong out of my mouth.

"Jen, baby, what's wrong?" I put my arms on hers and push her away a little, examining her to make sure I hadn't hurt her.

"Liam...." she chokes back, "he caught us."

"What?" I ask, taken aback. "How?!?"

"You guys should really be quieter." We both turn our attention to the door, and see Liam stood there, an even brighter shade of red than the woman still straddling me. "And maybe shut the door."

"Shit. I'm sorry, man," I apologise.

He folds his arms, glances down and chuckles, leaning against the doorframe. "It's not me you need to apologise to; I only saw a split second of it. It's your daughter and Mom; Ava is bawling her eyes out for food and Michelle can't get her to take the bottle!"

Shit. The party. I'd completely forgotten about it. All of the sounds from outside come flooding back in, and, just like Liam said, our youngest daughter's cries can be heard above everything else. Me and Jen look at each other, ashamed.

"I'll give you two a minute," Liam states as he walks out, shutting the door after him.

"What are we going to do, Josh?" The tears begin to fall from her face, but I wipe them away with my thumb.

"We aren't going to do anything. It's not like Liam hasn't caught us before..."

"But we were mid-orgasm!" she cries.

"Jen. Look at me." Her eyes meet mine. "Nothing bad is going to happen, it's okay. He won’t tell anybody, he'll be just as embarrassed as us, so don't worry about it, okay?"

"Okay."

I kiss her forehead.

"I need to go feed Ava," she mumbles as she gets off of me and begins to clean up using the shirt I took off earlier. I do the same, pulling my boxers and pants back up, making sure they're firmly fastened and putting the shirt on that was the whole reason I came upstairs in the first place. I hear her take a deep, calming breath, so I walk over to her and pull her into a hug.

"I love you so much," I tell her, stroking her hair, and I feel her nod against my shoulder.

"I love you too." She pulls away and looks at me. "I need to go feed Ava and apologise to your Mom." I kiss her once again before she turns and opens the door, walking out onto the landing and past Liam in the process.

"Tut tut, Jennifer," he teases, "And on your daughter's first birthday as well!"

"Fuck you, Liam," I hear my wife huff as she begins her descent down the stairs. I smile to myself as Liam walks into the bedroom.

"I'm so sorry Liam. I really am." Although part of me enjoyed the fact that we were caught, the rest of me is so ashamed, especially as it was our best friend that caught us.

"Look man, you don't need to apologise to me." He walks over and puts one hand on my right shoulder. "It's not like I haven't seen you before."

I shove him away and chuckle.

"But seriously. I know a few of us heard or almost caught you having sex on set, but I never thought I'd actually see the grande finale! I think it's gonna scar me for life!"

"So wait, I don't actually understand. I didn't even hear you come in."

"Yeah, I was sent to look for Jen. I though she might have been getting Ryan some pyjamas, but I just happened to look into your room as I walked past. Jen saw me straight away, but you just carried on going" he explains.

"Oh shit..."

"Yeaaahhhh." He rubs his neck, showing he's nervous.

"So you just stood there?" I ask, confused.

"Ew, no! I went into the boys' room! I wasn't going to stand and watch my two best friends make each other come! Gross! It was bad enough just hearing it!" His face shows a look of disgust, and I can't help but feel relieved that he feels just as bad as we do, albeit a different kind of bad.

"And the worst thing," he goes on, "is that Jen and I had just made eye contact right before she orgasmed. I feel personally violated, and I wasn't even a part of the act! I think I'll need some sort of therapy."

I chuckle once again. Trust Liam to make the whole situation into a joke. I start walking to the door, the feeling that I should be downstairs at the party taking over, but stop just in front of my friend.

"By all means, talk to a therapist. But, just.... just don't tell anyone, okay? I think Jen'd be mortified!"

"Don't worry," he reassures me. "I won't tell a single soul."

I shake his hand and tell him thanks and then turn away from him, walking out of the room. I've just got over the threshold when he calls me back.

"You might want to give these back to your wife."

I spin around and look at the blue material he's holding at arm's length in between his thumb and index finger. I just have time to realise what it is before he chucks it at me.

"Haha, thanks man." I say, stuffing it in my pocket, "Just remember. Don't tell anyone!"

"I won't..."

I leave him, following my wife and going downstairs, but I've just reached the third step when Liam shouts after me

"...at least not until next month!"

*****

As I reach the door into the garden, I stop and look outside for a minute. It's still pretty noisy, but it's so much quieter now that everyone has stuffed their faces. I notice there's also a lack of Ava's screaming, so I look around, searching for my wife and daughter. I'm not looking for long, however, when my eyes find them in the corner of the garden. Jen's sat on a picnic blanket on the grass, rocking and playing with Ava's hair, who is on her breast, and Penelope is sat on her right hand side, sucking on the blanket she's so attached to. As I move over to them, I smile at the sight in front of me, and a little tear forms in the corner of my eye as I realise I'll never get to see Jen bonding with any more of our children; she's said enough, and I respect her decision. But I still can't help but stare at the bonding in front of me, and as I get closer, I hear Jen humming to our youngest, soothing them both.

"You might not want to sit with your legs open," I murmur in Jen's ear as I sit down beside her on the other side of the blanket to Penelope. I pull her panties out of my pocket and place them below the cover she's using to keep herself decent.

"Oh my god, can you really see?" I see her panic and move her legs around under the material, and I smile mockingly. "You're a dick, Josh."

"Momma said a naughty!" I turn round and see Shrader coming over towards us, Ryan not far behind, both tired after a long day of mischief and running around.

"Yeah bud," I say as they both come and sit down beside me, "Momma said a naughty."

"Naughty," Penelope muffles as she gets up from where she was sat and toddles over to me, blanket still in mouth, jealous of the fact the boys were getting my attention and not her. She places herself in my lap, taking her blanket out and replacing it with Ava's binky, before curling up into me, playing with my shirt. It's times like this, when everyone is calm, that I really have time to recognise how great my life is, and how I have the most amazing family and friends, who'll always be here for me not matter what.

"Momma," I'm pulled out of my thoughts by our eldest, who looks like she's been crying - probably something to do with her and Bear. "Momma, I'm tired."

"I know Princess, we all are," Jen says calmly as to not wake up Ava, who's fallen asleep on the breast. "Come and sit down with us." She motions her head to the side of her, and Hope takes the place that was once occupied by Penelope. I look around us, and see Ava, Penelope and the boys have all fallen asleep, and Hope's not far off; her head is resting on Jen's shoulder, her eyes struggling to stay open.

 I lean over to Jen and whisper in her ear, "I reckon we go for round two when everyone has gone," winking as I move away. One side of her mouth moves up, and I know I'm in for a treat later. I lean over to kiss her, and then linger once it's over, resting my forehead against hers.

"Okay guys, we don't all need the visuals. Save it for later!"

I look at Jen, her face as red as beetroot once again, and then at Liam. But it isn't him that grabs my attention; almost everyone is stood in front of us with their phones or cameras out, taking a picture of the scene in front of them which is, if I must say so myself, pretty cute.

"We don't all need to know what you'll be doing once everyone has gone home!"

"Say another word Liam, and I swear to god..."

I don't hear the rest of what Jen's saying, as I feel a vibration in my pocket - I'd completely forgotten my phone was in my pocket. Pulling it out, I see a picture message from Woody, so I open it.

It's an amazing photo of our whole family. Jen's face is a picture; it's a mixture of horror, embarrassment and just wanting to kill Liam, and she's mid-rant. I'm laughing at her, and all the kids are sound asleep. But the thing that catches my eye is the cover; Jen must have moved her legs just a little too much, and you can see straight up the cover and straight up her dress. A smile appears on my face, and as I glance at Woody, who winks at me, I know that this photo will always take pride of place in our room...

[pachipachiko]

Gone ~Outtake~ A Joshifer Fanfiction

A/N: Hi my dearest anon, I'm really sorry that it took me months to finish your prompt (here). I was having a hard time trying to bridge part 2 to part 3 but you gave me an idea on how to do it so thank you. It's a bit short though but I hope you like this one. You can find the previous parts here and here.

And as always, thanks to girlwiththeflowers! You're the best! *hugs*

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Please feel free to suspend disbelief while reading this.

                                             *****

The back of my neck feels unusually warm.

It's the travel pillow, I tell myself, peeking through my heavy lids and letting them drop again once I've sighted the said cushion; but it's too late. My mind's awake now. Sharp and clear as though someone had lighted a bulb inside me but had thrown away the switch, sinking it into the depths of the ocean where it would be out of my reach.

This isn't good.

Waking up isn't good.

Slowly, my body starts to rouse as well, forced to react to every outside stimulus pounding desperately at the door of my consciousness, begging to be felt. The mixed smell of leather and fruit-scented air filling my nose. The midmorning sunlight burning my skin. The ragged rubber floor rumbling beneath my feet. All of my senses are working overtime as the car continues to drone on. But despite all these distractions, I keep my hold tight onto the dream world, finding comfort from the pillow wrapped around my neck, its velvet fabric soft to my cheeks.

Mom handed it to me earlier so I could sleep through the drive, and unlike the other things she's been trying to give me these past few weeks, I gladly took it. Thanked her even, though the words never made their way out of my dry lips. Sleep is exactly what I need right now (or at least the only thing they allow me to have). Because just the thought of where we're heading to is enough to break me all over again.

Probably it's because she knows, everyone knows, I still haven't fixed myself. No, I'm still far from that. Even time, I've come to realize, can't heal all wounds, physical or not. But I guess it's safe to say that I've made improvements. That I'm somehow on my way there. Although I admit that there are times when even I myself doubt those words. Times when my head hurts so much I feel like my skull is going to split open. Times when my hands won't stop shaking, won't stop reaching for that one bottle to shut my mind from those voices piercing my ears like a thousand needles, asking me the same questions over and over. And with each prick, I bleed with all the answers I refuse to give them.

Do you recognize this shirt? Yes. Were you with him days before he was reported missing? Yes. Did you have a fight? Yes.

Did you kill him?

Yes.

No.

I don't know.

But you can put all the blame on me.

My eyes snap open, revealing a world that is a huge jumble as though a mad artist had turned it into one of his canvases, splashing colors in all directions until he's satisfied with his work. My heart's suddenly everywhere but my chest, a pulsating mess thumping with each and every nerve in my body as the voices begin to realize inside my head again like a special mantra cursed only for my undoing. As if on reflex, my arm extends to my left, craving to feel the cold, smooth touch of glass making contact with my skin, to taste the bitterness I need to numb my body from my own regrets and guilt.

Only to stop midway. I have to remind myself again that I'm no longer inside my room. That I've agreed to get out of it after weeks of seclusion. That I'm in a car with Mom and Dad… and… and…

I turn to my side, expecting to see those eyes. Those young, watchful eyes which never fail to haunt me even to the deepest parts of my dreams. Those same eyes, an earthy palette of yellow, brown, and green, which won't even meet mine since that day. But then, as if it was programmed to do so, the world begins to shift, and the next second, I'm not in the car anymore. Instead, I find my gaze running around the same walls of that hotel room from seven or so years ago, fleeting past the crumpled white sheets, past the travel pillow which isn't really a pillow, to my surprise, but one of those strong, steady arms I never thought I'd feel wrapped around me again. And then finally, landing on him.

Josh.

And he's lying on the bed.

Naked. With me.

It's as if all the words had been blown away from my mind, the letters not making any sense like pieces of Scrabble tiles scattered on the gameboard, and the only sound escaping me is a rough gasp, his name trapped somewhere in the back of my throat. Hands on my mouth, tears well up instantly in my eyes as I take in the sight of him, his wholeness, because in my dreams he's never been this complete. Only flashes of images which never seem to flow in continuity.

But this is a dream… right?

Fearing that he might vanish, I hesitate at first, but then brave myself and touch the tip of his nose with my index finger. There's a slight pop of wind which tickles my hand, and I lean in closer, now turning my whole attention to his bare chest, waiting for any kind of movement, any sound, any indication that he's alive. Then all of a sudden, I hear the bed creak slightly below me, my body jerking a bit as I feel something slide into my hair, stroking it.

I look up and find Josh smiling at me.

He's giving me that lazy, what's-up crooked smile, the one I've seen a million times before, once etched so clearly in my memory only to be lost along with his disappearance. It reaches his amber tinted eyes which are always so warm and gentle on me, his long eyelashes fluttering like dragonfly wings, looking so tired yet contented but surely not from sleep. I smile back, capturing his hand in mine while he continues to caress my hair, playing with it for a while like a newborn child. Then he moves down to my cheeks and slowly trails the fresh path of tears on both sides. And when he grazes his thumb against my lips, I pull his hand close and place a light kiss on it, inhaling the sweet blended scent of sweat, him, and me.

This is a dream.

This is a dream and the reality of the thought finally hits me like a wall of surging water crashing down from so high a place that the drops have turned into sharp knives, and I am the ground. Stabbing their way into me with the pain enough for all the wounds to burst open once again. I try to search his face for anything, but his expression doesn't seem to reflect mine. In fact, he seems so happy that it begins to bother me. And then, it all makes sense.

If we're really back in that night, then it's just normal for him to act this way. Josh has no idea. He doesn't know what awaits for him tomorrow. However, I do. There's no way I can ever forget about it, and with him right here lying cluelessly before me only reminds me how horrible of a person I was. How my words, my actions took everything from him when all he did was give, and to his credit, he did give me the greatest gift I could ever ask for.

He must have finally noticed because a look of confusion crosses his face, the same way it did before, at that moment when I told him to leave, and it's all I can do not to turn away. Instead, I throw my whole body at him, burying my face in his neck, wrapping my arms around it, and simply try to hold on. Keep him from going anywhere but here with me.

Then the words come.

Gushing out of my mouth in such force I've never expected as if they had been there the whole time, cramped in that small space, all bottled up. They easily get lost in my ugly sobs but Josh is patient, his hands forever my anchor as they make soothing circles on my back, and because of this, I manage to stay coherent.

I go on telling him how awful the past years have been for me. How lost I've been without him. I tell him about Driver. How we've spent most of our nights together waiting for him to come back. And I tell him about Danny. How the little guy's his own Mini-Me. How he's growing so fast I fear I won't be able to keep up. Mostly because I'm starting to lose him. Just like everything I have now. And how there's no one else to be blamed for it but me.

I tell Josh all these things even though I know he won't understand. At first it's kind of freeing to find my voice again and to just let it all go. But then I realize it's wrong. And selfish. And that it's always been like that between us– one-sided. Me saying things I wanted to say so I'll feel good. With this in mind, I push myself up, taking in a deep breath as I try to find the words most needed to be said but long overdue.

“Tomorrow, when we wake up,” I begin, my fingers clumsily wiping the tears that have fallen from my eyes now kissing the sands of freckles on his face. “I might regret everything. I might tell you this is all a mistake. I might ask you to leave.”

“But don't, okay? Just… don't.” I must have repeated those words a thousand times, and only stop when I see him nod back. “Whatever I say to you tomorrow, don't believe any of it.” The end of my sentence hangs in the air like a cloud of cigarette smoke unwilling to clear up, but the finality I was hoping isn't in it.

What do I really want him to do? What do I want to change? I ask myself, and only one thing comes to my mind.

“Stay.”

Maybe it's really not so different from what I've told him before that. Maybe I'm still being selfish. That I did all of it for my own peace of mind. But one look on Josh's eyes tells me that the fog has lifted, that my words have reached him, and I know right then that I've said the right thing.

Josh smiles, brushing away strands of my hair from my face and begins to lean in. Even with inches apart, I can almost taste his lips when suddenly he speaks, but the voice that comes out of his mouth is old, feeble, and very far from his own.

“Jennifer, we're here.”

This time, I wake up for real.

                                                  *****

                            It takes a lot of pain to pick me up

                        　  It takes a lot of rain in the cup

[beetle-jude]

Chapter 18 - The Thing Is.. I Love You

Disclaimer: As always, this work is pure fiction based on real people, but not an accurate description of them. Enjoy!

"Jen? Sweetheart, we're almost home."

I opened my eyes, focusing almost immediately on his kind face, his tender crooked smile; the one he always reserved for me. Yawning, I pulled myself upright, wincing as my hips scraped against the armrest. I felt my muscles protest from hours of uncomfortable sleep.

"Ow." I instinctively massage my arm. It was eight am, seventeen hours to the day we left continental Europe. Four weeks spent in total bliss; alternating between Santorini, Athens, Rome and Paris. Every day was a new adventure, dining in a sunlit Parisian café, exploring the ruins of the Colosseum, deep sea diving in the Santorini caldera.

Leaning against my husband, I kept an eye on the small, circular window where I could see a thin veil of pearl white clouds clustered around the sun. You didn't have to be a genius to know that we'd long since passed through the border. We were most likely hovering above the Dakotas or Indiana.

Returning home was bittersweet. We missed our families, our friends the dogs, Driver and Pippi. In the time that we were away, we'd sporadically stayed in contact but it was a whole other thing to see them in the flesh.

But landing on home soil meant re-entering an uncomfortable, familiar territory. Again we placed ourselves at constant risk of being harassed, photographer. Ironically, this rather gloomy acknowledgement meant that we were indeed getting used to the intrusive presence of the media.

Josh's gentle smile jolted me out of the discouraging reverie. I shook my head, furious at myself for spoiling our homecoming with such doleful reflection. He seemed to read the emotion on my face because he took my hand.

"Are you okay?" He asked tenderly, his thumb rubbing my palm. "You've had that little dent in your forehead for awhile now. Even when you were sleeping."

"Really?" I blush but kept my eyes fixed on his. "I don't mean to be so morose. I just can't help but picture the ridiculous fanfare we're gonna get when we land."

He sighed in agreement, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. "Yeah, me too. It's not going to be pleasant but we'll get through it. We always do. But we might have to use a security escort." Josh grimaced at the thought.

"Yeah, I can see the headline now." I mutter darkly. "'Hunger Games' Josh Hutcherson and Jennifer Lawrence seen in public for the first time in two months! A revelation!'"

"It makes you miss Greece a whole lot more, doesn't it?" He mused thoughtfully. I beamed, thinking back to the sapphire waters, the labyrinth of whitewashed stone houses. It was a welcome respite from the self-imposed gloom.

"Definitely. My skin hasn't felt this good since the open-air massage." I murmur, waving my free hand airily. "Plus, I'm more tanned than I've ever been in my life. All that time spent under the sun."

"Your skin's got the sun kissed quality." Josh said, pressing his lips briefly to my exposed shoulder. I ignored the line of undiluted heat that automatically surged through me at his touch. "It goes well with your hair. A golden goddess."

"Me? A goddess? Yeah right." I snickered, giving his shoulder a playful push. "Jennifer Lawrence, goddess of clumsiness. Patron of klutzes the world over."

"Exactly." He chuckled, rubbing my back in that familiar soothing circular pattern. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yup, but I'm telling ya. I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed after all this travel. The first thing I'm gonna do when I get home is throw myself on the bed." I answered fervently.

"What? We're not even gonna do a McDonald's run?" Josh looked slightly crestfallen. I had to laugh at the expression on his face.

"Alright, alright. Keep your pants on, Hutch. If it means so much to you, we'll stop by a McDonald's. Okay?" I say impishly, giggling when he let a dramatic sigh of relief escape his lips. "Who's picking us up, by the way?"

"Andre. I talked to him last night. You know, before we flew out. He'll be there."

"Oh okay." I unceremoniously shove my belongings back into my small carry-on bag in preparation for our descent. "We'd better get ready."

"Yes ma'am." Josh started to repack his rucksack in a more orderly fashion, ensuring that everything fitted perfectly inside. He retrieved a large paper bag from the pouches beneath the tables, clearing the rubbish away.

Fortunately, the economy class cabin was partially filled. Our fellow passengers were only just starting to stir, yawning as they woke from their sleep. The flight attendants quietly weaved their way among the seats, collecting used blankets, headphones.

I took advantage of the situation, dashing to the bathroom before I could be recognised. I brushed my teeth quickly and splashed some water on my face, giving myself a somewhat refreshed appearance. When I returned, Josh was deeply immersed in a script for his next film.

With a yellow highlighter nestled between his fingers, he circled a few words now and then, muttering under his breath. I buckled myself in, watching him fondly. He finally looked up from the script, his face breaking into my favourite crooked smile.

"Hey, honey. Sorry, I didn't see you come back." He folded the corner of the page, reaching forward to tuck a loose strand of blonde hair back behind my ear. "You're beautiful, you know that?"

"Every day, you tell me. Every day, I believe you." I murmured adoringly. "How far along are you in your reading?" I gesture to the document sitting on his lap. "I won't mind if you keep going."

"Halfway through actually. I can't believe I'll be starting on this role in two weeks. It's nerve racking. I haven't felt this nervous since I first auditioned for Peeta." He mused, his free hand resting on the pages. "I dunno if I can pull this off."

"You can." I gently cup his chin so his eyes were once again level with mine. "You will." I say firmly. "Do you wanna talk about it? Help ease the fear?"

"Sure." Josh nodded, buoyed by my sincere encouragement. "This guy, my character, Paul. He lives in a cool town where homosexuality, bisexuality is embraced. He's able to have all these great relationships without people judging him." There was a palpable wistfulness to his tone. "God, if it was possible in today's world, people would be happier."

"Then, it's good that the world has you here to make life better." I add, rubbing his arm soothingly. After all, he constantly added brightness to mine. "Keep going."

"Paul meets this kid, Noah and they hit it off. Pretty soon, they start dating. Everything's fine until Paul's ex, Kyle, comes back into his life. He's confused about his sexuality and messes up Paul's relationship with Noah. But the good thing about is, Paul still helps Kyle understand his sexuality, as a friend."

"He does this really sweet thing where he sets himself seven tasks that ends in a reconciliation with Noah. He makes origami flowers, writes a list of words, buys twenty rolls of film. It's amazing because he's got freedom to do something good for someone he loves. No one is there to tell him that it's not right or it's a sin." Josh murmured, his hazel eyes gleaming.

I listened attentively, knowing how much this part meant to him. The character eventually helped his best friend, Tony, come out to the latter's homophobic parents. He told the story of the film with such infectious enthusiasm that I eventually skimmed through its pages.

"You know, it sounds like you really understand the story." I say, passing the document back to him. "I mean, if you understand it, then you're pretty much set on the acting side of things. Memorising lines shouldn't be a problem."

"Well, I hope so. I mean, this is so important to me. I'm gonna give it everything I have." He clasped his hands together, as if in silent prayer. "I mean, I have the lines down pat. It's just..."

"Just that you're really nervous about bringing this character to life." I finish for him, recognising the same anxiety I felt when I was first introduced to my proudest film role in the Hunger Games. "You don't know how accurate your acting will be or if you're doing it right."

"Exactly. Like, I'm not sure if heaps of research is needed for something like this." He fretted, unable to keep the anxiety from seeping into his otherwise calm demeanour. "But I figured SBNN is a good start. So is my history. I could talk to my mom about it.."

"You've done a lot already." I take his hand in mine, squeezing it ever so lightly. "Some say that the desire to act, to really know the character is the key to a great performance. You have that."

"Hmmm.."

"Trust me. You'll be great. And you know what else? I'll be there with you every step of the way." I say softly, caressing his cheek. "If you like, I'll even help you research."

"No that's not necessary, Jen, I'll be okay. Seriously though, thank you. You don't know how much I love you." His eyes softened as he reached out to kiss me. Sweetly, gently.

"I think I'm starting to get an idea." I tease, hoping to cheer him up. It worked, he smiled, all traces of anxiety disappearing from those lovely hazel eyes. "I love you too."

"Ah, it makes me miss Europe a lot. But you know, we have to go back to reality at some point." He said reluctantly, tucking the document back into his rucksack.

"Unfortunately. I'm already thinking about getting groceries. We need to replenish the pantry, the fridge. A person can starve to death without food, you know." I reply, frowning as I thought of the other things we'd need.

"God, you're domestic." Josh quipped, sniggering.

"Right? It's so refreshing. I'm gonna be the pushy wife who's like 'Baby, will you go the store? Get a couple of things for me? Don't forget'. Then yell at you when you come home." I chuckle, relishing the normality of the image.

"Ha ha, and I'll be the husband who complains about his wife at work to his buddies. 'The missus is always on my ass, go get this, go get that. Who are you talking to?'"

We laughed as the aircraft took a sudden descent. The captain's soft voice reverberated over the sound system, announcing our arrival into Los Angeles. Flight attendants stalked among the aisles at once, politely ordering the passengers to take a seat and collecting some last minute rubbish.

"All systems go." I whispered under my breath as I tightened the seat-belt around my waist. Josh smiled, popping a thin piece of gum in his mouth. He eagerly offered me another piece. "Thanks."

"No worries. This is it, babe. Welcome back to LA." He winked at me, making me laugh.

My stomach lurched as the plane dove closer towards the ground. A quick glance at the window revealed that the clouds had thinned, giving way to a wide labyrinth of buildings and houses. I glimpsed the palm trees swaying in the wind, the enormous faded Hollywood sign standing erect on the cliff.

I felt the aircraft shudder when its wheels touched the tarmac. It made a graceful turn, heading towards the gate. Pressing my face to the small window, I saw that the sun had just risen. Activity on the tarmac was light. There were only a few officials present; guiding the plane as it docked, manoeuvring vehicles, repairing engines.

When the aircraft finally came to a complete stop, people got to their feet, stretching, yawning. There weren't very many passengers on our flight; which was an unexpected bonus for us. I helped my husband retrieve the carry-on bags from the overhead compartments.

No one paid us much attention as they shuffled sleepily towards the doors. I donned my favourite floppy hat and catlike sunglasses, even though I knew the sky was still dark. Josh followed suit, pulling his navy blue UK hat low over his head.

We followed the others through the cabins, stopping to thank the flight attendants and the captain. At the foot of the staircase, security detail was waiting. I winced, wondering how quickly our fellow passengers would notice the officers' presence.

Sure enough, a few of them began to whisper among themselves. I watched anxiously as their eyes grew wide, first with curiosity, then excitement. I don't know if they recognised us but I was sure they knew we were important enough to warrant such an escort.

"Oh no, they're looking over at us." I whisper, clinging desperately to Josh's arm. He responded instantly to the urgency of my touch, holding out his hand. I laced my fingers through his, grateful that he was there.

"Stay close to me." He whispered back as security led us through the tarmac, the wind blowing in our faces. I kept my gaze averted, listening to the roar of the engines. His grip on me tightened when we entered the terminal.

At seven am, the arrivals terminal was quiet, hushed. Only a few travellers lingered in the lounges, some half asleep as they waited to board their flights. Some of the fast food chains were open, fluorescent lights gleaming ever so brightly.

I tensed, looking for suspicious men in dark clothing, black caps pulled low over their heads. Predictably, I got my first sighting in baggage claim; while Josh and I located our luggage. There were two men lurking around beside the first aid door, cameras dangling from their hands.

"Ugh, how they're still allowed in.. I swear to god, I'll never know." I spit furiously, loading the first of our bags onto the trolley. "Stalking should seriously be made illegal, fucking.. Honestly.."

"Calm down, babe." Josh replied, grinning as he heaved the second suitcase onto the cart. The security guards helped us find the rest, dividing the remaining luggage among the two trolleys.

I wheeled my trolley as fast as I could, matching my pace with his; the security detail staying beside us. At one point, just after being cleared by customs, they pounced, jostling, shouting loudly as they attempted to corner us.

The security merged into a more narrow formation, surrounding us, arms outstretched. I could feel the effects of jet-lag catching up to me as I pushed my trolley out into the open air. Relief surged through me when I spotted Josh's silver Jeep pulling up beside the curb.

Andre leapt out of the driver's side, beaming. He flipped open the trunk, seizing the bags. Embraces and other displays of affection could wait until we were free from the paps. All the while, I heard their voices.

"JENNIFER! Where have you been?"

"IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE WE SAW YOU."

"JOSH, TELL US WHERE YOU SPENT THE LAST FEW MONTHS."

"You look lovely, Jennifer. Did you get a tan?!"

"Josh, why were you gone for so long?!"

"Get in the car, you guys!" Andre's deep, booming voice punctuated the furore.

We obeyed without another word, buckling ourselves in the back seat while the security guards helped Andre load the bags in the trunk. I felt a twinge of guilt at having him do the task for us. I bit my tongue, waiting until we were free.

At long last, everything was secure. Josh nodded gratefully at one of the guards, hoping he got the message. He flashed a brief smile in our direction, understanding. Andre got into the driver's seat, slamming the door shut.

He guided the Jeep from the curb, leaving the paparazzi scrambling in our wake. He smiled at us through the rearview mirror, blue eyes gleaming. "Hey you two! Welcome home!"

"Thanks for picking us up, man." Josh answered, shrugging out of his leather jacket. "Oh, and thanks for loading the bags. We know they're heavy."

"No problem, buddy. Come on, tell me, how was the honeymoon?" He asked eagerly.

"Unbelievable." I chirped, my easy mood returning. "Greece really is a lovely place. Look at me, I'm more tanned than I've ever been in my entire life."

"I see." Andre chuckled, twiddling the steering wheel. "What did you guys get up to?"

"Lots of things." My husband replied brightly. "We got amazing spa treatments, we went deep sea diving in Santorini. Dining at a café in Paris. Walking through the Colosseum in Rome."

"Wow, sounds awesome, bro. Did you take pictures?"

"Yeah, definitely. We'll show you a couple on the laptop later, if you have time." I offer brightly.

"That'd be great, Jen, thanks."

"How's Driver?" Josh wondered aloud. Andre laughed, smiling reassuringly at his friend.

"Dude, he's fine. Missing his daddy. Pippi misses her mommy too." He winked at me. "But they're okay. If you like, we can swing by my place. Justine dropped them off last night, since I live closer to you guys."

"Is that okay? I just wanna see how my baby is doing." I fretted.

"Of course. She hasn't grown much you know. Still a tiny little thing."

I lapsed into silence, allowing my husband to converse with his close friend. I was exhausted from the flight and the unpleasant encounter with the paparazzi. Some 'welcome home' greeting. Somehow, during the journey home, I fell asleep, my head resting on his neck.

When I opened my eyes, the Jeep was pulling into Andre's street. He lived in a modest duplex home just twenty minutes away from our own house. It was a peaceful area, occupied by couples as well as young families. It suited him very well.

Josh's lips gently brushed my forehead. "Hey, honey. We're at Andre's." He murmured softly. "You know who's waiting for you in there."

"Pippi." I pulled myself upright, self-consciously patting my bedraggled hair. We got out of the Jeep, walking quickly on to the sidewalk. At once, I heard a symphony of barks echo from inside Andre's house. Smiling, I recognised Pippi's little squeaks; only slightly audible over Driver's deep, booming yaps.

Andre unlocked the door, standing aside as our beloved dogs launched themselves at us. Neither one had changed much; Driver had grown larger whilst Pippi still remained small. I scooped her up into my arms, burying my face in her sand-coloured fur.

She was delirious with joy, shifting between barking loudly and licking my face. I scratched her behind the ears, grinning as her wide, almond-shaped eyes closed in satisfaction. "Aw, how's my little baby girl? Did you miss your mommy?" I cooed, planting a kiss on her head. "Who's my baby? Who is my baby?"

"Pippi's surprisingly the bossy one." Andre said, chuckling. "She always has to have the best sleeping spot, the first bowl of food. Driver just follows her around everywhere. Kinda like you two."

I smirked at my husband, who was kneeling on the floor, scratching Driver behind the ears. He stuck his tongue out at me. "The girls have the upper hand." I tease. "All the time."

"Yeah, you wish."

"They're really great housemates." Andre remarked, looking fondly at the dogs. "You won't believe how many dates I've gotten because of these guys. Girls think they're so cute. I'm like 'Score!'"

"You what? I can't believe you used our babies as bait!" I pretended to gasp, using my free hand to cover my mouth while holding Pippi in the other. "How could you? Nah, bro, I'm just kidding."

"Very funny, Jen. But honestly, they are awesome. It's like practice for when you have kids."

"Thanks for looking after them, man. I don't know how to repay you." Josh clipped a leash to Driver's collar, gathering it in one hand as he got to his feet. He winked. "I told you dogs are a great way to catch some action."

"Good advice, by the way. I'm thinking of getting one now."

"Nice. Real nice. Using a helpless, loving animal as a way to get laid." I quipped, pretending to be affronted. "Come on, Pippi, don't listen to this repulsive testosterone filled talk." I laid a hand dramatically over her little ears as if to cover them.

"How's everything with the charity? If you like, I can take over some of the duties while you go on a break or something?" Josh offered.

"No, dude, it's cool. Things are on the down low so far. We've got a fundraiser on in three days. It's a basketball game. Do you think you can swing by for a bit?"

"Sure, why not? I haven't done anything for SBNN in a long time. I feel like I'm starting to slack off a little."

"Hey, it's only 'cause you're a married man now. We understand." Andre said, smiling warmly at us. I blushed, keeping my eyes fixed on Pippi's fur. "Are you two hungry? I could whip something up for ya."

"We don't wanna take up more of your time. But thanks, man." Josh shook his friend's hand. He turned to me expectantly. "Are you ready to roll, babe?"

"Yeah." I nodded, hoisting my purse on to my shoulder while keeping Pippi safely nestled in my arms. "I'm good to go. Thank you so much for looking after them, Andre." I leaned forward to give him a friendly kiss on the cheek. He hugged me for a brief moment, then patted Pippi on the head.

"Anytime, Jen. I'm so glad you guys are back." He walked the four of us down to the Jeep, clearing a space in the back seat for the dogs. Driver leapt onto the smooth leather seat at once, curling up in the corner. I chuckled, stroking his grey fur.

I buckled myself in the passenger seat, setting Pippi on my lap. She peered at me with her enormous almond-shaped eyes, her lips parted in a toothy grin that looked remarkably like Josh's. I hugged her close to my chest, giggling when she licked my chin.

"You're lucky to have a beautiful dog like Pippi. She's a gem." Andre said wistfully, reaching through the open window to stroke her.

"Hey, you can always come over. You're her godfather after all." I wink chuckling as a smile spread across his face.

"Scared me for a minute there." He clutched at his chest, pretending to be afraid. He patted the car door, grinning. "Okay, I'm not gonna keep you any longer. You're probably exhausted so I'll see you kids later. I'm glad you're home."

"We are too." Josh agreed, shoving the key in the ignition. The Jeep gave a deep shudder as it came to life, roaring loudly. "Thanks, man. Really."

"Oh buddy, no problem." He stepped back on his porch to wave at us as we pulled out of the drive. The Jeep weaved its way through the suburbs, moving slowly past freshly mowed lawns and sprawling houses.

On the drive home, we settled into easy, familiar conversation; talking about things to do now that we were back, errands we needed to run, groceries we had to pick up. To any other couple, or family, it would feel essentially mundane. But I loved it. I loved the domestic part of married life, the cooking, cleaning aspect of it.

There was something exciting about coming home after a hard day's work to cook for him, to set the table and rub his shoulder. The way I'd seen my mother do for my father. No wife was closer to her husband than I was to Josh. I wanted to do those things because we were on equal footing.

We respected each other; he didn't treat me as a rather delicate damsel nor did I treat him as if I was the one who controlled his life. I found myself smiling when we pulled up the familiar cobblestone driveway of our two-storey home.

It hadn't changed in our two month absence. The rafters were still flanked by cedars, their branches forming a leafy canopy over the roof. It looked every inch a tree-house.

Accompanied by the dogs, we set about readjusting to our new life as a married couple. I helped Josh unload the Jeep's trunk, grunting as I heaved the suitcases towards the front door. He wasn't far behind, dragging another two bags.

I reached for the door handle, only to be stopped by his outstretched arm. "What?" I ask curiously, eyeing his face.

He pursed his lips, deep in thought. Without a word, he shoved the key into the lock, pushing the door open. Then, he scooped me up into his arms, leaving me breathless.

"Whoa, what are you doing?" I gasp, admiring the way the muscles in his arms strained as he lifted me. "I gained so much post-honeymoon weight. Frankly, I'd rather walk."

"Don't ruin it for me, Jen. Isn't this tradition? Carry your wife over the threshold thing." He smirked, setting me back on my feet as he stepped over the mat on the hardwood floor. "There, now I've done my part."

"Very good. Keeping tradition. Now, help me bring the rest of our shit in." I tease, planting a chaste kiss on his lips. We worked together quickly, bringing the remaining luggage into the house. All the while, Driver and Pippi danced excitedly around us, overjoyed at being back among familiar surroundings.

Once all the bags had been brought to the living room, Josh went upstairs to wash away the fatigue. I bustled around, feeding the dogs, combing the fridge and the pantry for something to eat. Whilst both animals were outside, noses buried in their bowls, I began to cook.

The meal was nothing special; eggs, bacon, a few pieces of toast. Just until I had the chance to pick up groceries, then I'd whip up something incredible for us. I was setting the table when he came down, freshly showered.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging me from behind. I inhaled his tantalising scent; the smell of shampoo and aftershave. I couldn't stop my skin from tingling as he kissed my exposed shoulder.  

"Wow, everything smells good." He breathed, running his nose along the nape of my neck. I ignored the heat that instantly surged through my veins, concentrating on putting the plates on the table.

"By everything, do you mean me or the food?" I laugh, placing cutlery on either side of the plates.

"Both." Josh smiled, releasing me. He brought a jug of cold water to the table, as well as the freshly cooked dishes. "Honestly Jen, this looks amazing. Thanks for putting it together."

I bent down slightly to kiss his neck before taking a seat across from him. "You're welcome, babe. I'm only thankful I didn't burn the house down."

"Ah, don't be so hard on yourself. It tastes wonderful." He said, chewing noisily on the eggs. I wrinkled my nose, pretending to be disgusted.

"Ew, gross. Don't talk with your mouth full." I retort, shaking my head as I peeled the crusts off my toast. "That's impolite behaviour."

"You mean like this?" He chomped hard on the eggs, chewing so that I could see a little of what was there between his teeth. I swatted him on the arm, giggling. "Yum yum yum."

"Disgusting." I shovel the toast into my mouth, making an extra effort to exaggerate the movement. I reach for the glass of orange juice, taking several deep gulps. "See? This is how civilised people eat."

"Civilised? Normal people don't pass out with ketchup packets stuck to their asses." He added a large dose of tomato sauce to his bacon. "Remember?"

I swallowed the mouthful of bacon. "When will you let it go? I swear to god." I say exasperatedly, fighting the smile that was spreading across my face. "Besides, I don't regret a moment."

"Nah you shouldn't." Josh chuckled. "That was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. You're amazing. I mean, you ate a whole pizza but it didn't even stop you from getting a Quarter Pounder. I was like.. 'Wow'."

"Maybe that's what we should have for dinner. McDonald's and pizza." I suggested brightly, waving my fork at him. "Sound good?"

"Great." He beamed, hazel eyes dancing. "There's the woman I married! I'm excited for dinner already."

We enjoyed our morning meal, sitting at the dining table, opposite each other. It seemed like a normal thing, having breakfast as husband and wife; a task deemed mundane by some, yet so precious to us. I indulged in the realisation, the feeling only Josh could evoke.

He was my anchor. He kept me tied to the more important things in life. To love, friendship, humility, trust. I knew that as long as we're together, I could face anything. Once we were done, he offered to clear the plates. When I tried to protest, he shook his head, saying that it was my turn to clean myself up after a long flight.

I smiled, hurrying upstairs to the bathroom. Switching on the shower, feeling the cold water caress my skin was nice, therapeutic. I washed away the fatigue, the exhaustion which often came with travel. I took my time, rinsing my hair, scrubbing my body clean.

After I'd dried myself and slipped into clean clothing, I skipped down the stairs to our living room. Josh was there, unpacking, sitting cross-legged on the floor. He looked up from where he was dismantling one of the suitcases.

"It feels nice, doesn't it? I love being in my sweats again." He smiled at me indulgently, patting the space next to him. I chuckled, walking first towards the back door to let the dogs in. Together, the three of us returned to the living room.

Sitting beside him, I allowed Pippi to curl up on my thighs, her eyelids fluttering shut. "Yeah, I can't tell you how awesome it is to shower in your own bathroom. I could've kissed the tiles, I swear." I gesture to the bag he'd just unpacked. "What made you do all this?"

"Dunno, it's a normal, stress-free activity. I don't have to use my legs so it's a win-win situation." Josh smirked, pulling the wrapping off one of the souvenirs we purchased in Santorini; an elegant sapphire pendant. It was something I bought for my mother.

"Well, I like your thinking." I answer, seizing the nearest suitcase. I unzipped it carefully, so as not to wake the sleeping canine in my lap, meticulously unwrapping the first item my hands touched. It was a small ceramic salamander, as blue as the waters in Santorini. "Aw, this is too cute. It will look awesome at your parents' house, babe."

"Yeah, that's so true. Remind me to bring it when we go visit."

"All the souvenirs we bought are adorable but you know what the best one is? The gift pack we got from the spa near our hotel." Josh grinned, bouncing a clear package of bath salts, lotion and cream. "I'll smell like a baby every day."

"Not before I'm through with it."

"But you've already got the smoothest skin in the world, love."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Hutcherson. Sharing is caring."

The easy banter continued as we unpacked our suitcases, sorting out what souvenir to keep and which one was to be a gift for our families. We unearthed several ceramic plates, jewellery, miniature models of the monuments we'd visited. I got up to set a model of the Parthenon in Athens on the mantelpiece.

"Have you noticed that most of the shit we bought is from Greece?" I muse aloud, positioning the tiny ornament next to a photo of the Hunger Games cast. "We barely went gift shopping in Paris or Rome."

"Well, until now, we'd never been to Athens before. It sounds more exotic. Now we've got presents to prove it."

"Don't forget the pictures. They're pretty solid evidence that we had an amazing time." I dig through the carry-on luggage until my fingers closed around the bulky SLR camera. I switched it on, scanning through the images, smiling as each  one evoked wonderful memories.

"Yeah, we had a great time." Josh said wistfully, setting a wooden frog carefully on the coffee table. He waded ever so slowly across the sea of luggage until he reached the mantelpiece. He smiled, resting his chin on my shoulder. "Ah, best honeymoon ever."

"Barely a day at home and we're already missing it." I chuckle, eyeing a picture of us on the yacht we'd rented, all sun-kissed, tanned, arm in arm. "It was like a fantasy land, wasn't it?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. That's a great photo." He glanced at the picture, nodding approvingly. "Look at me, so macho."

"Ha ha, you wish. You're just a little puppy dog. Widdle puppy." I tease, reaching forward to squeeze his cheeks. He batted my hand away, laughing. "Nah, you know I'm only kidding. I think you're the sexiest man alive. You give People a run for its money."

"Compliments, a sure fire way to get you out of trouble, eh?" He winked, returning to his place by the coffee table. I followed suit, sitting cross legged on the floor. Pippi yawned as she curled up on my lap once more, ready to sleep.

"We could get these developed, hang them up somewhere." I muse, zooming in on another picture of us deep-sea diving, surrounded by a school of rainbow fish, scales glittering in the sun. "Like this, it's really cute."

"Good idea, love. Oh, speaking of, do you know if Justine has the wedding pictures? We've been gone for a month, surely they're ready to be picked up now. I'd like my friends to see a nice picture frame of me and my wife on the mantelpiece. You know, just a thought." Josh chuckled, ripping the plastic case of a magnificent deep blue bauble said to ward off evil.

"Right! I'll go make some calls now. It's not just Justine who's worried." I fish my phone out from my purse, hitting redial on the first name I laid my eyes on. I drummed my fingers on the suitcase, waiting patiently for the person on the other end to take my call.

My best girl friend picked up on the first ring, screeching loudly into the receiver. "JEN!!! Oh my god, you're back! I miss you!"

"Tin-Tin!" I shriek back, overjoyed. "I miss you too, babe. We landed at LAX this morning. Paps were there unfortunately. But thank god for Andre. I swear, he's a lifesaver."

"You guys okay? Not a scratch or anything?"

"No, Tin, we're alright."

"Good, good. So how are you? A little jet-lagged, I'm guessing?"

"Unpacking right now actually. It's an activity that's really calming. Hopefully, it's enough to get the jet-lag to fade away." I laugh, watching Josh gather our dirty clothes, dumping them unceremoniously into the hamper.

"Listen, hon, I hate to leave you hanging but I'm actually about to go. Your photos came in via old-fashioned mail. I'm on my way to pick em' up." Justine chirped brightly. "If you like, I could drop by your place with them."

"Honey, I wouldn't want you to go out of your way or whatever." I say, feeling a slight twinge of guilt. She'd done so much already; not to mention the countless others. But my words were almost instantly overruled by her voice.

"No, no. It's no trouble. I'll see you guys soon." Without another word, she hung up. I hit the 'end' button on my phone, amused at her eagerness.

"Justine coming?" Josh chuckled, correctly guessing the crux of the conversation as he heaved the hamper into his arms. I placed my sleeping dog on the nearest arm chair, smiling as she folded her little body around the cushion, still fast-asleep.

"Yup, she kinda invited herself." I giggle, tucking my phone in the pocket of my sweats. I separated  the remaining gifts from the empty luggage, while he made his way to the laundry room.

Once I was done, I set about storing the suitcases in a cupboard beneath the stairs. I curled myself on the couch, across from Pippi and Driver who had leapt up to join her. There, nestled among the cushions, I felt the fatigue returning.

Despite the exhaustion, I reached for my phone, intending to call my mother. Like my best friend, she picked up on the first ring, sounding thoroughly relieved. I soothed her worries, feeling a dull ache in my chest. It had been close to a month since I'd last seen my mother so to hear her voice was wonderful.

So engrossed was I in talking to my mom that I didn't notice my husband creep back into the living room. He took his place beside me on the couch, startling me so much I nearly dropped my phone. I ended up speaking to both my brothers who'd stopped by my parents' house for a visit.

I touched base with the rest of the family, my in-laws, reassuring them of our safe return. Michelle was delighted to hear from her eldest son and daughter-in-law, excitedly enquiring about our honeymoon. I told her what I could, promising to reveal more on our next visit.

When I was done, my voice had grown hoarse. I exhaled, hitting the 'end' button on my phone. Josh smiled indulgently as I replaced my phone back on the coffee table. He wrapped an arm around my waist. "Are you free to talk to me now?"

"Oh my god, yes. That's it, I've done all the rounds. Called my mom, your mom, Justine. Thank the lord." I say, feeling relieved. "Now I kinda wanna just stop talking for a long time."

"Haha, why don't you get some rest while we wait for Tin? Come." He placed a large cushion on his lap, patting it invitingly. I didn't think twice, making myself comfortable. At once, his fingers flitted to my hair, playing softly with the strands.

I closed my eyes, relishing his gentle touch. He fell silent, content to sit there with my head in his lap, brushing my short blonde mane. I hovered between a state of tranquil awareness and unconsciousness, finally falling asleep when he started to hum under his breath.

When I came to, Josh was watching an animated film. He hadn't noticed that I was awake so I took the opportunity to appraise him. His face was stretched into a wide smile yet he made no sound, as if he was unwilling to disturb my rest.

Turning my face ever so slightly towards the TV, I blearily focused on the screen. The movie was vaguely familiar; full of dancing characters, gliding all over what appeared to be a dance floor. I narrowed my eyes. Wait a minute. The space aliens were not dancing, but racing around a wide court, dribbling, leaping up towards the basket.

At the head of the group was a tall, long-legged man wearing a white, orange and blue jersey. "Hang on, is that Michael Jordan?" I mutter. "Oh my god, you're watching Space Jam!"

He laughed with childlike delight. "Yeah! Very good, Jen, you got it right." He kissed my hair. "I switched the TV on just a few minutes ago and this was playing." His hand travelled to my cheek, stroking it gently. "Are you alright? Did you nap okay?"

"Yup." I yawn, smiling. "How long was I out?"

"About.. an hour. Justine hasn't dropped by yet. Probably stuck in traffic or some shit."

"Oh, okay. What's the time?" I pull myself upright, fingers automatically attempting to flatten my unkempt hair. "You didn't sleep at all? Well, gee, now I feel guilty. You should have woken me."

"No, no. I like watching you sleep." Josh said, beaming. "I'm waiting until tonight to get a full eight hours sleep. It's half past six."

"Really? Wow, time goes by super quick, doesn't it?" I stretch, then scoot closer to him so that my head was resting on his shoulder. His arm instantly wound itself around my waist, holding me close. "What part are you up to?"

"Um, they're playing in the game. The aliens are ginormous, 'cause they stole the players' talents. Michael and the others are sorta struggling but I think they're getting there." He explained eagerly, eyes fixed on the screen. "This movie is so ridiculous."

"But you love it." I finish, smirking.

"Yeah, I do." His tone was proud, wistful.

"See? I know you too well." I glance at him lovingly.

He turned to me then, his hazel eyes softening. There was adoration in them; pure, undiluted love. "You know me better than anyone, my love." He kissed me passionately hands pressing me to his chest. I responded in kind, locking my arms around his neck.

Just as the need to feel skin on skin intensified, there was a knock at the door. Driver leapt down from the armchair, Pippi right him, sliding on the hardwood floor as she struggled to match his pace. I pulled back reluctantly, giving him a slight peck on the lips.

"Perfect timing, eh?" Josh laughed at the expression on my face. He reached for the remote, lowering the volume down. I giggled, fishing my keys out of my pocket. I hurried to the door with the dogs at my heels.

Opening the door, I smiled when I saw my best friend standing on the other side, bouncing a fat, yellow package in her hands. Her lustrous brunette tresses now hung in a short, sleek bob but her twinkling brown eyes were still the same. I launched myself at her, shrieking.

"Tin-tin!" I cried happily, throwing my arms around her neck. "I've missed you so much."

"Jen! How you doing, girl? My god, you are so tan!" Justine remarked, pulling away to get a good look at me. She kept both hands on my shoulders, holding me still. "Yeah, you definitely got a nice tan going on."

"Aw thanks, well come on in." I drag her inside the house, shutting the door. Driver and Pippi danced around us, barking excitedly. She knelt down to greet them, stroking their soft furs. "You got a haircut!"

"I thought it was time for a change." Tin winked at me. "It's different for sure. You looking at yourself in the mirror, seeing someone else staring back. But I kinda like it."

"You should, it suits you." I offered my hand to her as she got to her feet. "Tell me, what's happening? Caught up with the girls lately?"

"Last week actually. But it was nothing special, just dinner at Chipotle's."

"Chipotle's?" Josh's voice broke through our conversation. He strode easily towards us, giving Tin a quick embrace. "It's still standing, right? Like they didn't knock it down or anything?"

"Relax, man. It's still there, alive and well." Justine's tone was amused. "I think they missed their most valued customer." She patted him on the head, the way a mother would when she spoke to her child.

I laughed. "He's already pining for McDonald's. I'm amazed he went without junk food for a whole month. I even took pictures."

Her eyes brightened. "Oh, this reminds me. I've got your wedding pictures here." She deposited the yellow Manila envelope on the table. "Liz received it first and she sent it to me, since I'm the next best point of contact. The hard copies are there, so is a disk containing the video, extra pictures."

We delved into the envelope eagerly, gasping as the photographs spilled onto the table. Tears stung my eyes when I came across a picture of us during our first dance as a newlyweds. The memory was still vivid in my mind, as clear as day. Me in the stunning, elegant silk gown, the colour of pearls. Josh, debonair in his custom-made coal black tuxedo.

The others were wonderful too. The bridal entourage, standing arm in arm, grinning widely. My nephew carrying the cushion which bore the wedding rings that now sat on our fingers. Our mothers' tear streaked faces. Connor raising his glass at the end of his best man's speech.

Then, there was the finest, most beautiful of all. A perfect picture of Josh and I at the altar, just after the minister had declared us husband and wife; the guests had thrown the rice grains in the air. The picture had been taken at exactly the right moment, capturing the way that the rice rained down upon us.

"Yeah, this is the one." I say thickly, unable to keep the emotion out of my voice. "We'll get this framed. Put it up where everyone can see it. Like the minute they walk through the door."

"Feel like a movie night?" Josh held up the DVD containing our wedding video. "We can grab dinner, then curl up on the couch, load this baby up."

"Sure." I smile, encouraged by his enthusiasm.

Justine grinned, hoisting her purse up on her shoulder. "Alright, kids. I have to get going."

"What? You're not staying?"

"No, not today, hon. Look, you've only just arrived, you're exhausted. You're much better company when you've had a full night's sleep. Trust me."

"Thanks very much." I say sourly.

"Kidding. But honestly, I don't want to impose on you, especially since you got back this morning. Get some sleep, then we'll talk about hanging out, okay?"

I yielded to her soothing tone. "Aw, okay." I sigh, resigned. "Come on, we'll walk you out." I followed her meekly to the door, accompanied by my husband and dogs. Holding the door open, I pulled my best friend into my arms, holding her close. "It's good to see you again, Tin-Tin."

"You too, Jen. I'm glad you're back." She smiled kindly at me before hurrying down the steps to her car. Leaning on the doorjamb, I waved until she disappeared down the street.

Josh took my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. I looked into his eyes lovingly, grateful that he was there beside me. "Wanna grab some dinner? You know what they say, food is always the answer to life's problems."

Chuckling, I grabbed my purse from the coffee table. "No, I did not know that but thanks for the heads up, Hutch. It's one of the reasons why I married you."

*****

The McDonald's in Studio City was, mercifully, empty. We had arrived well past lunch hour, avoiding the rush; the gangly youths, families with young children. Those who still remained kept to their corners of the restaurant, talking happily amongst themselves.

I clung to my husband's arm as we stood in line at the register, feeling unusually peaceful. Walking into an exposed area, a fast food restaurant was, akin to a gazelle grazing in a field surrounded by hungry lions. Even a task as simple as that was always enough to plunge me deep into a panic attack.

With him by my side, however, radiating pure contentment, I knew I was safe. I had nothing to fear. I didn't feel like an Academy Award winning actress, as the tabloids had so often dubbed me. I felt like the bubbly young girl from Louisville, Kentucky. The one who met her best friend on a film set in Atlanta and, four years later, married him.

Josh tore his gaze away from the menu to smile at me. I rolled my eyes in feigned exasperation when he gestured to the large image of a Quarter Pounder. "Afraid you were never gonna see it again, huh?" I tease impishly. "Come on, admit it."

"Alright, alright!" He held up his hands. "I was starting to get scared. I think I have a little separation anxiety from such an awesome dish. I don't think I can leave without it ever again."

I chuckled, shaking my head fondly. "A little? That's an understatement. But then again, it's how I feel about pizza. Lucky for me, pizza's a world-wide phenomenon." I wink playfully at him. "Quarter Pounder's a rarity. Sorry, babe."

"Not in English-speaking countries, it isn't." He quipped, eyes dancing. "If we went down to Australia with Liam, for instance, I'm willing to bet they've got a Quarter Pounder on the menu."

"There's always the possibility, eh?" I dig around in my purse for my wallet as we approached the register. Behind the counter, the staff were busy; bustling around, preparing orders, cooking fries, making sundaes. I caught a glimpse of the drive-through window, where at least three cars waited for their meals.

"You know, if I wasn't acting in my teens, I would have worked here." Josh mused wonderingly. "Like every kid looking for a summer job. I think Connor applied at some point but never got in."

"Nah, I had you pegged down as a zip line announcer thingy." I say, remembering the Fandango event we'd participated in for Mockingjay: Part 1. "At like some children's camp or something."

"Haha, I'd be the first to try out any activity. Showing them how to do it." He laughed. Then, his eyes lit up. "Maybe, when we're older, we could do that. Run your mom's camp for her; make it Hunger-Games style. Except there's no 'fight to the death.' What do you think?"

"Deal." I smile widely, caught in his infectious enthusiasm. "Joshy and Jenny, actors/camp counsellors. I like it."

"Hello, welcome to McDonald's. What can I get you?" The young server looked to be about sixteen years of age with curly, brown hair. Her eyes widened with undisguised recognition as she waited for us to order.

"We'll have two Quarter Pounder meals, coke as the drink and two large chocolate sundaes." Josh answered politely, unfazed by the girl's awestruck glare. I tightened my grip on his arm, suddenly afraid that she would react inappropriately to our presence.

But, after a brief pause, the young woman surprisingly regained her composure, tapping away at the machine. When she looked up at us, she was calm, businesslike. "Is there anything else I can get you?"

"No, thank you." I finally found my voice. People always have a knack for reacting in the most unexpected manner. Either way, I was grateful for her discretion. I wanted to enjoy my privacy a little bit longer before I re-entered the limelight of the acting industry.

"Great. It's $16.90 altogether."

I dug through my wallet, singling out the money I needed. I pressed the bills in her open hand, being careful not to spill them on the counter. Josh distanced himself to grab two straws, twiddling them idly between his fingers.

She handed me the change with long-practiced efficiency, making sure they added up. I flashed an encouraging smile, hoping to put her at ease. To my relief, she smiled back, giving me the receipt before bustling around the stations.

Josh and I waited by the tables for our meal, watching the patrons leave the restaurant. I exhaled, surprised I'd held my breath the entire time. So attuned was he to my moods, my emotions that he spoke before I even opened my mouth.

"Hey, are you okay?" He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say soothingly, rubbing his arm. "I just thought, you know..."

"She'd freak out and start crying."

"Exactly. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love meeting fans. They're the reason why I have a career. But when some people cry or I don't know, have a breakdown, it makes me feel a little uncomfortable."

"You don't have to justify it, babe. I understand." He smiled knowingly. "I'm sure everyone in our position knows what it's like."

"Well yeah but I feel guilty moaning like this. I sound so whiney, I wanna shut myself up." I babble anxiously. "I'm exactly like them when I meet Jeff Bridges or Meryl Streep."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You're allowed to feel this way, trust me. It's what makes you human." He murmured wisely. "The most important thing is that we have each other. Now come on, chin up. Do I have to do something stupid to get you to smile?"

I shook my head, grinning. "No, you don't. But I wouldn't mind if you did. Be my guest."

"Hold that thought." He held up a forefinger as the waitress moved towards the counter, carrying a huge, brown paper bag. She called out the number on our receipt, beaming as Josh accepted the bag and the tray of drinks.

"Got everything. Let's go before the burgers get cold." He kept a firm grip on the bag while I held on tight to the tray in my hands. Fortunately, the walk back to the Jeep wasn't far at all.

I buckled myself in the passenger seat, securing the beverages while relieving him of the meal. I pried it open, taking a long whiff as he shoved the key in the ignition. "Mm, it smells so good." I pluck a French fry from the depths of the bag, nibbling happily.

"Are you gonna share or what?" Josh said with feigned indignation.

"Relax, relax. Here." I grabbed a handful of fries, tucking them slowly between his fingers. With his free hand, he nibbled on the fries while guiding the Jeep out of the car park.

"Mmmmm, so good. A month away is too long. Yummy." He said as he chewed. I laughed, reaching for my Coke.

"Hah! First thing we do when we get home is a McDonald's run. Wow, we are super unhealthy." I shake my head.

"Well, they do have salads.." Josh replied innocently.

"Okay, then, when was the last time you ordered a chicken Caesar?" I challenge, raising an eyebrow.

"Fine! You got me!" He laughed, his joy undisguised. I chuckled along with him, knowing that his laughter was my favourite sound in the entire world.

[italk-too-much]

Photograph...(Joshifer drabble)

Hey! So I've barely been on tumblr since I got back to uni, which sucks, but I'm trying to get on when I can.

Of course, today when I was meant to be writing an essay, I wound up writing this instead!

It's pretty short and terribly non-plot based, but this song made me want to write something and well, this is what happened....

Photograph…

Loving him can hurt sometimes.

Not in a way that makes me not want to love him – no,definitely not. I love loving him. But it is times like now that the ache ofhim not being here hurt me the most. Like the lack of him is spreading out from my chest and throbbing throughout my whole being, to my fingertips and the ends of my hair. But it’s what we know. We knew it would be like this sometimes and I’m trying to get used to it.

It’s hard, the distance. But it is our job. We fly, we meet, we film, we fly some more, we promote. And then we get to come home to each other… I get to come home to his arms.

I sigh at the thought of him engulfing me into him tight and the feeling of his muscles squeezing me close.

The thought of him close to me is what keeps me breathing, keeps me feeling alive until he can do it himself.

We can be thousands of miles apart but it still stands strong and true: We are in love.

A love that I take with me wherever we may be, for however long we don’t see each other. I keep it with me, wrapped up in memories and a photograph.

Our home is filled with photographs, in albums, on computers and memory sticks and in the few frames that dot from room to room. Of us, our love captured in perfect moments and holding memories only we really know about.

Memories I take with me every time one of us has to go.

God, I miss him.

I remember everything about him when we’re apart. I make sure I do. And when it���s been just nearly too long, we’re back, we’re together and I can feel alive again. We won’t ever be alone. And if I was to be hurt by anyone, then I would choose him over and over again, if only to have him love me, and me love him too.

That one photograph that I carry with me, he does too. Me in the silver locket that sits on my chest, only a layer of skin between it and my heart where I feel the swell of happiness when it is his head, his lips that rest there in person, where he should be, and he in his wallet.

I pull out the necklace, opening the cover for the hundredth time – praying that the hinge won’t break from my need to keep staring. My fingers trace our paper faces and brilliant smiles and a small, nostalgic one slips on to my lips.

I imagine what will happen when I get back, when we both return to the sanctuary of our home. I imagine him holding me close, tight against his strong chest, both of us silent and finally content, the only sound being of our steady breaths as we grip each other and get as close to each other as possible, making up for our time apart.

And now, I imagine him doing the same, pulling out the photograph he has too, identical to my own, from the pocket of his ratty, old, ripped jeans and smiling sadly with want and memory.

I can hear his breath and him running his tongue over his bottom lip; wishing it was my own.

I want to tell him I miss him, but by doing that I know I’ll not be able to hold back my tears and breaking down is not an option I’m giving myself. I whisper through the mouthpiece of my phone, my quiet voice all but emphasising just how far apart we are from each other. But there is a hope in my tone and the small smile still on my lips.

“Joshy, wait for me to come home.”

He knows what that means; he just knows me.

And I know he’ll smile too and look up at the New York stars in the cool air, while I pull the hotel’s bed sheets closer to me, closing my eyes and remembering: We’re one day closer.

“I will.”

[smolcreampuff]

Do you, I do? Chapter Five