#jun jiuling episode recap

[purplehanfu]

Series Master Posts

Episode Recaps: KinnPorsche

Episode Recaps: Jun Jiuling

Episode Recaps: Time Flies and You Are Here

Just the First Episode

Recap: Part for Ever (newest!)

Recap: Decline (newish)

Recap: Rising Feather

Recap: The Snow Moon

Recap: Stay With Me 

Recap: Butterflied Lover 

Recap: Back From the Brink 

Recap: Desire Catcher 

Recap: New Vanity Fair 

Recap: A League of Nobleman 

Recap: In the Day We Flipped 

Recap: A Familiar Stranger 

Recap: My Fairy Doctor 

Recap: Demon Emperor’s Little Matchmaker 

Recap: Are You Safe 

Recap: Maid’s Revenge 

Recap: Scent of Love

Recap: A Man Who Defies the World of BL 

Recap: Unforgotten Night 

Recap: Old Fashion Cupcake 

Recap: Spring of Crush 

Recap: The Only Girl You Haven’t Seen 

Recap: The Killer Is Also Romantic 

Recap: Rebirth for You

Recap: Fall in Love

Recap: I Am the Years, You Are the Stars

Recap: Hot Blooded Detective

Recap and Guest Commentary: Princess Weiyoung

Recap: Assassin Academy

Recap: The Sweet Blood

Recap: Is Xianzun Whitewashed Today?

Recap: The Theatre Stories

Recap: Oh My Lord

Recap: Legend of Exorcism

Recap: Decreed by Fate 

Recap: Tinted With You 

Recap: Her Royal Highness 

Movie Reviews

Review: Born to Fly

Holiday Specials

Ides of March Betrayal Roundup!

Self-Indulgent Birthday Post

Self-Indulgent Birthday Post II

4th of July! (Warrior)

Evil Lair Quarterly

What makes a great evil lair?

ELQ- Ancient Detective

ELQ- Guardian

Quizzes

What CDrama Bit Part Character Do You Share a Fate With?

Great Moments in Viki Comments

tagged #great moments in viki comments and I can’t figure out how to link that in a reliable way

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Jun Jiuling, Episode 2

As always, spoilers! Previous Episode /// Master post of all recaps /// Next Episode special notes: Several times in this episode the director will hold a shot on an actor for too long- so long that whatever emotion the actor is trying to convey becomes a parody of itself. I think some (just some) of the complaints about the hammy overacting in this drama are actually just due to bad editing.

Oh No, This Drama Has Become Self-Aware!

Making Money, Making Enemies

Lady Ning reluctantly agrees to give Zhenzhen 5000 silver taels to not marry her son. Her daughter is not happy with this and whines at length about it. I predict this girl will be our primary nemesis for at least 10 episodes. Gramma Fang and the fam are also not happy, because money is crass and stuff. However, later when they are alone, Gramma Fang gives Zhenzhen a jade bracelet because deep in her heart she is secretly pleased.

I Am Looking Respectfully

Enter Zhu Zan, general on the northern border and armor model. After the camera lingers on him so we can all admire the details of his, uh, costume, his parents arrive to kill the mood.

Wait, I'm not done respectfully looking

We find out Zhu Zan has been called to the capital to defend himself against accusations that he has been selling the enemy military plans including a map of the capital.  Mom asks if he's still sad Princess Jiuling married someone else. Zhu Zan's mouth says no, but his wedding present of a scraggly dried out flower (looking suspiciously like the one in the last episode) and the sad background music say yes. 

It's potpourri, I made it myself

He takes his sidekick Baotang and under armed imperial escort, heads to the capital.

A New Main Quest is Unlocked

At a roadside inn, Zhu Zan and Baotang receive a secret message. It says Princess Jiuling was imprisoned and subsequently killed in a fire, Jun Yingwen (the middle-aged doctor) was seen at the prison before the fire and now his daughter Jun Zhenzhen is with the Fangs in Zezhou. It's a very comprehensive secret message. Zhu Zan takes this news poorly. After he pulls himself together, he decides to slip the guards, head to Zezhou, find Zhenzhen and find out the truth of what happened.

Credit to actor Jin Han, he cries with his whole face, none of this single tear sliding artfully down the cheek business. 

Whatever Happened to That First Husband?

Lu Yunqi stands in the rain in front of the tomb of "Princess Jiuling" and has a long monologue where we discover that he loved his wife, and also that he set the fire that killed his wife. Oops. It was all part of his cunning rescue plan. He vows to marry Princess Jiuling's older sister to protect the family. This will provide a wellspring of drama in later episodes, I'm sure.

How can he ask that? He was the architect of her demise! 

Don't Be Suspicious

Zhu Zan and Baotang try to engineer a meeting with Zhenzhen. Alas, Zhu Zan has put all his points in Strength and Dexterity and far fewer in Wisdom and Charisma. He sets up a fake rescue wherein he will save Zhenzhen from Baotang’s street harassment. 

It's a little thing called showmanship

I love that Baotang isn't trying to escape but is instead hanging on for dear life

Zhenzhen immediately sees through this clumsy ruse and tries to leave, but ends up accompanying Zhu Zan to the restaurant to pay his lunch bill. 

Zhu Zan fishes for information on the whereabouts of the middle-aged doctor. Zhenzhen gives up nothing. Zhu Zan introduces himself as Ling Jiu, which visibly startles Zhenzhen as she's the one who gave him that name when they were children. Zhu Zan notices that Zhenzhen puts crushed rose petals in her tea, the same way Princess Jiuling did. Zhenzhen leaves and Zhu Zan plans to shadow her until she leads him to the doctor and Princess Jiuling whom he is convinced didn't die and is just in hiding.

I think it will definitely be a useful plot point 20 years from now.

Harem Count, Episode 2

Lu Yunqi (married to)

Ning Yunzhao (engagement terminated)

Zhu Zan (intrigued)

Previous Ep /// TOC /// Next Ep

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Jun Jiuling: Episode 39

notes: Spoilers! The penultimate episode, can you believe it? Previous Episode /// Master post of all recaps /// Next Episode

In this episode: Unsatisfying denouement

Battle Royale

The battle rages on, Jiuling continues to beat the war drum and Younger Brother continues to look terrified. But fear not, our hero soon arrives, entourage in tow.

How did he get into the besieged city? Who knows. We are not here to deal in answers, we are here to start wrapping up a 40 episode Chinese historical costume drama. 

Zhu Zan informs the invaders that he has killed their emperor. And.... the Northern Qi just pack up and go.

It's You!

Jiuling tells her family she is Princess Jiuling. Like everyone else in this drama they happily accept it.

“I’m glad that one vague anecdote from our past convinced you”

It's You! (Part 2)

And then the rest of the episode is just this:

Literally. I mean literally pointing fingers at each other in the emperor's audience hall. We rehash the silver, the seal, the ransom that wasn’t paid and how the emperor’s actions regarding the Northern Qi are sus. Mercifully the 43 minute mark eventually arrives and the episode ends.

Bonus Round: Uncle Dick

Congrats to Ning Yunzhao's Uncle Dick who recovered from being stabbed in the chest in less than an episode.

end of Ep 38

middle of Ep 39

Harem Count, Episode 39

Lu Yunqi (married to)

Ning Yunzhao (it's you!)

Zhu Zan (it's you!)

Fang Chengyu (it's you!)

Li Sanbing (barely in this ep)

Zhang Baotang (barely in this ep)

Uncle 12 (it's you!)

Duke Cheng (it's you!)

Previous Ep /// TOC /// Next Ep

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Jun Jiuling: Episode 33

notes: Spoilers! Previous Ep /// Master post of all recaps /// Next Ep I make one of the best jokes of my recap career (it was handed to me on a plate)

In this episode- not much really. Some would say it's inconsistent pacing but I prefer to think of it as the drama being considerate and giving us all a chance to relax. A lot did happen back in episode 32.

we almost get a kiss. almost.

Random Assortment

Showtime: The big public falling-out with Ning Yunzhao at the end of the last episode was indeed fake; it was arranged well beforehand.

you’re in luck, this guy is used to playing a part

Ghosts of Plot Holes Past: Lord Huang and Lu Yunqi try to convince everyone that Jiuling's younger brother is possessed and the only cure is a trip to the family mausoleum. This scheme goes nowhere and we waste a quarter of an episode on it.

we didn’t even get to see the imperial mausoleum

Return of the Orange Flower: Jiuling tells Zhu Zan she knows he put the flower he snatched from her in episode 9 on her grave in episode 12.

as for what the flower represents? well that's not for the audience to know

Sweet: Jiuling and Zhu Zan talk about their relationship.

some might even say... a twisted fate of love

We almost get a real kiss, but we have to settle for a peck on the forehead

*muah*

Revelations: We I finally find out what the Fang family business is!

The emperor finds out the Fang family helped the northern refugees financially and calls Chengyu to the capital to explain/get rewarded/get punished.

My Baby: Yay- that means Chengyu will be back soon! Gramma Fang wants to go in his stead because Chengyu is the last male heir of the family, but my baby is having none of that.

look how progressive my baby is!

Insightful: Uncle 12 points out that the "marriage" between Zhu Zan and Jiuling scares the emperor because of the Fang's wealth and Duke Cheng's military power.

He also asks if Zhu Zan is using Jun Jiuling as a substitute for Princess Jiuling.

unexpectedly good advice from a man with a giant harem

wait until they all find out how true that is

Promotion?: Jiuling gets an upgrade from commandry princess to real princess (I think). Although I thought she was already a county princess?

Why would the emperor do this if he’s concerned about Jiuling having too much power?

Harem Count, Episode 33

Lu Yunqi (married to)

Ning Yunzhao (fake imperial suck-up)

Zhu Zan (fake married; real lovey dovey)

Fang Chengyu (my baby is back!)

Uncle 12 (dropping knowledge)

Previous Ep /// TOC /// Next Ep

[purplehanfu]

Self-Indulgent Birthday Post

notes: Spoilers, probably. Yay, it's my birthday! Pay attention to meeee! Warning: this is just a junk drawer of a post. List of all recaps

Recap Recycle Bin

There are many, many recaps that for whatever reason remain unfinished. Here are some from the scrap basket.

My Villain Husband: Episode 1

This scene is extremely necessary for character development.

Can I just say how much I enjoy the way web dramas objectify the male body like this? Is it wrong? I don't know, but feel free to have that discourse with the wind, baby. In this house we have all the time in the world to watch a fit young specimen ladle water over his shoulders. This episode is 6min 35sec long and we spend 1min 03sec of it watching this guy pour dirty bathwater on himself- it’s a little thing called world-building, people.

The Lady in Butcher’s House: Episode 15

This drama was awful, and yet I watched the whole thing. Why? Because of the rare moments of redemption like this scene in episode 15 when Wang Ruo Lin (best known as world’s worst shifu Zhao Jing in Word of Honor), Tong Meng Shi (who is a good actor and doesn’t belong in this mess) and Ren Yu break character several times. You can absolutely tell they were cracking each other up, and because this show is so low budget, they just left it in. 

Stop laughing, Xu Qing Jia; the prince is only trying to help!

The prince has the general kiss his collar and then quizzes the male lead on how to hide the evidence from his wife.

This drama also did one of my favorite things which is advocate for something totally unrelated to the story in a repeated and intrusive fashion. For this particular drama it was moxibustion and brushing your teeth.

Legend of Fei: Episode 45

Ah, as expected, the favorite game of a man with a giant metal hand that looks like a foam rubber Hulk arm that was painted silver. 

Sometimes When We Touch: Episode 1

White Impermanence Ghost is rocking a breezy high fashion look in this modern Taiwanese drama about life, death, and outsourcing the afterlife to the local university’s Supernatural Society.

Hikaru No Go: American Style

My version is set in Cleveland and the ghost is a WWII vet who became a union steel mill worker after the war, the kid is a grad student at Case Western and the name of the game is euchre! However, not sure if anyone who isn’t Great Lakes adjacent will find this interesting. 

Mirror: A Tale of Two Cities: Episode 1

Maybe my understanding of fantasy creatures is lacking, but I always thought that merpeople lived in the water or as paintings on the bedroom walls of 7-year-olds. In this drama, for reasons unknown, they seem to live on desolate and snowy mountain plains. Even Novoland Pearl Eclipse managed to get the merpeople in the water.

Love and Redemption: Episode 6

“Sandra, call my girl and see if she can fit me in- I broke a nail!”

Superlatives

Favorite Douyin To Watch Over and Over  🐸 tiny frog! (thanks @rongzhi​)

Novel I Liked Much More Than I Expected To: Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir trashman forever! (thanks @dangermousie )

Movie That Came Out of Nowhere To Steal My Soul: Tokyo Revengers (thanks @storge) 

Still My Favorite Drama, 3rd Year in a Row: Bloody Romance

“this soup tastes like the woman who raised me!”

Favorite Episode Recap (series): 27 & 28 of Jun Jiuling. It just went totally off the rails.

Favorite Episode Recap (Just the First Episode): Legend of Exorcism

fellas, is it gay? (it is. it is so gay. how is this not more popular?)

#1 DILF:

Shen Shen (thanks @baichoufeis​)

[purplehanfu]

Decreed by Fate: Episode 1

notes: Spoilers! Master list of all recaps On to Ep 2, why not?

I guess it's inevitable- if you watch enough crappy dramas, you're bound to find one where all the leads are from other crappy dramas you've written crappy little reviews for. Philosophers might call that causal determinism but I prefer to think of it as fate.

The gang's all here!

Princess Ye Rong, Zhang Fei the orphaned nominal princess who has little interest in marriage but all the time in the world for martial arts. She's unsupervised, uncouth and uninterested in love and as such is destined to be fought over by two hot guys for all 16 episodes of this drama. Played by Chen Fang Tong who was the Annoying Maid in Jun Jiuling.

Fang Xian Xun the martial arts master who has recently returned to the capital. His personality and interests were custom made for our leading lady, so he will obvs be offered up on the altar of 2nd male lead syndrome. Played by Wu Cheng Xu who we last saw as Fang Dong the ghost apologist in Hot Blooded Detective; he was also a standout as Xu Feng in The Long Ballad.

Rounding out our love triangle, the Marquis Jing'An, General Yin Sishen: capable general, talented musician and the most eligible man in town. Played by Li Jiulin who was the execrable Congwen in the execrable Time Flies and You Are Here.

Sell it to me

So, will there be gratuitous fan service that objectifies makes me appreciate all the gym time put in by these fine male actors? Oh you know it! But what does this drama have to offer us in terms of story?

somewhere a wig wrangler is crying

We meet Ye Rong as she is serving justice out on the streets, saving a young bride from an abusive older groom. Fang Xian Xun shows up for the assist, but he is mostly there to be amused by Ye Rong's antics. 

Impressed with his martial arts, she buys him a drink. Their meet cute is cut short when her estate manager shows up looking for her. Fang Xian Xun laughs as she scampers off- he is smitten.

The estate manager has set up a meeting with a potential marriage candidate, so our Princess decides to meet the would-be suitor at Jiaofang, a brothel known for its male courtesans. This will not only drive off the suitor, it will torpedo her reputation, ensuring that she can stay single.  

But alas, the brothel is empty. Why? Because General Yin Sishen is a diva who won't bathe in a public bathhouse. Why he decides to clear out and then use the facilities at Jiaofang and not his own home is a question that I feel bears scrutiny. Also the brothel manager knows that the general likes pine scented soap, so draw your own conclusions about how often he visits this place (or take it as a fanfic prompt).

As dictated by the incontrovertible laws of dramas, our female lead accidentally gets an eyeful of our male lead while he's in the bath. She even does one better, getting in a quick grope before propositioning him: she'll pay handsomely if he pretends to be familiar with her during her lunch date. Clearly she thinks he's an employee, not some random general just taking a bath there. He flatly refuses.

The date is a disaster. No matter how rude Ye Rong acts, the creeper doesn't take offense. 

She's wondering what her next move is when she hears Yin Sishen playing the qin (he's awfully familiar with the layout of this place- just saying). 

He's decided to help her out, and how- "You once swore by my pillow to grow old together with me" and "All these years coming to Jiaofang every night, over 30 musicians have all served you, but I'm your favorite".

The potential suitor does not appreciate being fed all this dog food and leaves in disgust. Mission accomplished. But marriage is not so easily avoided in a historical costume drama- we have to get our leads together by the end of the episode. How will we do it? Easy. The answer is, as always, lazy scriptwriting. The emperor decrees a marriage between these two. Convenient!

Final Thoughts

At 16 episodes it’s mercifully short and while this drama is light on plot and done on a dime at least all the leads have decent chemistry so if comedic love triangles are your thing this might be worth a watch. It's not like we're spoiled for choice with costume dramas at the moment, amirite? 

Master list of all recaps /// On to Episode 2

[purplehanfu]

Rebirth for You: Episode 1

notes: spoilers! So much engineering and industrial design- did not expect that. I’ll probably only be recapping the first ep. Master post of all ep recaps

Everyone's in town to compete in the yearly engineering contest held at the Mechanism Pavilion. The prize this year is the Book of Supreme Weapons which disappeared years ago but has mysteriously shown up again. But before we get to the mechanisms, let's meet our mathletes:

Jiang Baoning-  a commandry princess who dreams of being an inventor? I guess? Her backstory is a little fuzzy at this point. Played by Ju Jingyi whom I have never seen in anything before. Going on the 42 minutes I've seen of her ability so far I can only describe her acting style as animated gesticulating with little to no emotional throughput.

Li Qian- a guy of undetermined origin and limited engineering ability whose martial arts are comprised of qinggong and freestyle soccer tricks. He is only interested in this contest because of the prize- The Book of Supreme Weapons. Played by Joseph Zeng whom I have developed a tolerance to at this point. Kind of like when someone in a drama eats poison all the time so that they are inured to it.

Zhao Xiao- Son of Marquis Jinghai. This character seems very decent and easygoing so I presume he will be the perpetual third wheel or just turn evil (hope it's that second one). Played by Wang Zhuo Cheng who seems to act up or down according to the talent of whomever he's working with so I am def. worried for him here.

Thief Loot is Our Meet Cute

Jiang Baoning is shown in her workshop, dressed to the nines, makup on point, jewelry that would give an occupational health and safety officer a heart attack. She's getting ready to escape the palace and head to the Mechanism Pavilion for the contest and she won't let a little thing like not having an entry token stop her.

who says you can't wear feathers to your industrial arts class?

Li Qian's pass for the contest is stolen so he and his friend Wei Shu start to run as if they are going to give chase but they end up stopping to help the hapless merchant whom the thief has knocked down. This is actually a pretty decent sight gag.

The thief gets away and heads to an alley to sell the token. He sells it to Jiang Baoning but the transaction is interrupted by Li Qian who wants his pass back. Jiang Baoning and Li Qian fight and in the process the token is broken. Now they are both out of luck.

7th Grade Physics Time

They head to the Mechanism Pavilion and the Mechanism Pavilion Master (played by the same actress who plays Zhu Zan’s mom in Jun Jiuling!) who bends the contest entry rules by giving them a physics problem involving a rooftop, an egg, gravitational force and aerodynamic drag.

Whoever solves the problem can enter the contest. 

They both solve the problem in different but equally boring ways. On to the science fair tomorrow!

“wait, this isn’t the baby we’re taking care of for family studies class?”

It’s a little thing called showmanship.

Wicker Tube for Two

But tonight, lets sneak around the Mechanism Pavilion. 

“they will never find us unless they look down”

Why? Li Qian needs to find the answer to one of my favorite cdrama tropes: maybe the Pavilion Master knows about "what happened back then" to Li Qian’s mom. I fall for this one 100% of the time because I do want to know what happened back then. Jiang Baoning follows him because she is sure he is trying to cheat in the contest. In the course of their snooping, she finds that the Pavilion Master has been getting messages from the Imperial palace- but she only finds charred paper so who knows what the messages are about.

Inventions of Limited Utility

The day of the contest, everyone brings their inventions to the pavilion. Li Qian has a swimming wooden mechanical fish that he later admits is a design he stole from his mother. 

“the fish, the plot, that girl’s jewelry... all of it”

Jiang Baoning has a pair of Da Vinci style wings that mercifully we do not have to see her fly with. 

very steampunk, very bargain basement Sha Po Lang

Zhao Xiao's engineering project was not shown onscreen but was referred to as Clairvoyance so make of that what you will.

On to the Semifinals

The top four projects are picked to move on in the competition- our three leads and some rando. The next stage is an escape maze set up by the Mechanism Pavilion Master. It's filled with puzzles of Skyrim-level difficulty and dangerous traps and terrible cgi. 

"Damn, another Dragon Claw Switch... Bear, Fox, Wolf..."

Rando tries to double cross everyone and gets locked in a side room. Our three leads work together and escape the maze. 

It’s literally one of those tilt boards where you make a ball travel a maze. Or you could just, I don’t know, pick up the ball and place it in the center.

The next day they are taken to the woods for stage three- they must find a substance that can be used for waterproofing (spoiler, I watched ahead and it’s turpentine). Li Qian and Jiang Baoning fall down into 30 foot pit with a perfectly level bottom. 

Zhao Xiao is a total bro and immediately abandons the contest to go get help.

The episode ends with Li Qian and Jiang Baoning still stuck at the bottom of the pit and a giant spider crawling onto Jiang Baoning's shoulder.

maybe that spider will just get caught in all her dangly janglies

.

Cliché Check, Episode 1

floating elegantly from the roof

falling down a pit with a hottie

"what happened back then"

grab my arm to keep from falling

whirling through the air while lost in each other's eyes

hiding from the guards together in this basket

trapped in a net together

falling off wall into the ML's arms

buying a huge dinner at the inn and then running out before eating any of it

[purplehanfu]

Jun Jiuling: Episode 37

notes: Spoilers! Previous Episode /// Master post of all recaps /// Next Episode

In this episode: Duke Cheng becomes his own boss, Jiuling walks free, and we lose a beloved character. There are plot holes big enough to march an army through (and we do). Everyone's favorite baby makes a dramatic reappearance.

"Yes, it is I- Chengyu, best baby”

Freelance Army General

Duke Cheng suddenly and without warning finds himself in possession of 50,000 troops. He sends 30,000 south to the capital and plans to personally take 20,000 north to rescue the besieged Qing Hebo (the general who replaced him). Zhu Zan has a simple plan that will destabilize the Northern Qi territory:  

This would have made for an exciting action-filled storyline but it would really cut into our “watching the emperor ponder” time so we will be seeing none of it.

After a touching goodbye to his parents, Zhu Zan leaves with Baotang and Li Sanbing. Duke Cheng then heads out to help Qing Hebo: 

What kind of siege is it when you can ride right in through the open doors of the fort? Why is there so much smoke?

Qing Hebo is entirely ungrateful. But enough of this northern border business- we have to rush everyone back to the capital which is about to be attacked.

Scene Hair Guy, We Barely Knew You

Meanwhile back in the capital at the Martial Moral Ministry, Scene Hair Guy is breathing his last. He was headed to spy on the Fangs but his team was ambushed on the way. 

This probably isn’t the right time to say this, but your hair has never looked better, Scene Hair Guy

He tells Lu Yunqi the Northern Qi are about to attack the capital, then he dies. That's disappointing because he was an interesting character- remember when he kept helping Jiuling on her initial trip north? It seemed like his loyalty was wavering, or at least like he had a moral compass. It would have been interesting to hear his backstory.  

You Are Free to Go

Once Lu Yunqi hears the news of the impending invasion he goes to get Jiuling. He drops a bombshell revelation: the emperor is fleeing. Jiuling says she must stay to defend the city; it was her father emperor's wish. Oops! Add another one to the list of people who know her true identity.

Never once does he bring up the fact that they are still married.

Then Lu Yunqi just... lets her leave. What a profoundly unsatisfying ending to this complete mess of a storyline.

Hair Apparent

Zhu Zan and the boys plot the assassination of the Northern Qi leader. Zhu Zan gets a radically different hairstyle. 

“Like it? I’m trying something new”

The mission is a success but Zhu Zan is wounded. The boys bring him to the safehouse where Chengyu is hiding out.

That arrow took a weird trip through Zhu Zan.

Battle Stations

Juiling runs through the streets trying to warn people but no one believes the city will soon be under attack. Meanwhile Ning Yunzhao is in the palace as everyone scrambles to pack. He is in the process of stealing the imperial seal when Lu Yunqi walks in. 

“Ok Yunzhao, you got this, be cool, be cool, he probably didn’t see anything, just turn around slowly and act natural...”

It is very obvious that Lu Yunqi susses what Ning Yunzhao is doing. Bless his heart, Ning Yunzhao is not cut out for covert ops. Lu Yunqi acts like he didn’t see anything. Interesting.

Jiuling heads back to the medical hall and tells the gang to go buy food and supplies- then she goes to pay Uncle 12 a visit. She confesses to being Princess Jiuling. Just like everyone else, he's happy to believe it after hearing a random anecdote from her past. He agrees to assist with the city defenses.

Yes, Princess Jiuling is the only person who liked osmanthus cakes on her birthday. You must be her.

We end the episode with Jiuling up on the city ramparts with the whole crew, strategizing how best to defend the capital.

I’m sure the leader of the Capital Guards appreciates Jiuling’s unsolicited (and frankly, not very specific) advice.

Harem Count, Episode 37

Lu Yunqi (married to)

Ning Yunzhao (stay frosty)

Zhu Zan (bad hair day, almost dead)

Scene Hair Guy (great hair day, actually dead)

Fang Chengyu (alive, hair always on point)

Li Sanbing (concerned)

Zhang Baotang (also concerned)

Uncle 12 (stepping up)

Duke Cheng (out here doing all the work)

Previous Ep /// TOC /// Next Ep

[purplehanfu]

Jun Jiuling: Episode 36

notes: Spoilers! The plot is really becoming unspooled, but we’re in the final five. Previous Episode /// Master post of all recaps /// Next Episode

In this episode: kidnappings, the world’s worst hostage negotiator and a satisfying callback to episode 11. Lu Yunqi takes his creeper game to the next level- but despite being completely divorced from reality, his logic is sound.

I mean, he isn't wrong

Dipping Out

Duke Cheng is now a civilian. He was told to stay in the city, but he can see the writing on the wall- he’s about to be made into a scapegoat. He escapes but doesn’t get far before his party is accosted by imperial soldiers with an unappealing invitation:

“can I bring a plus one?”

Duke Cheng responds with a long speech declaring his innocence and the commander of the soldiers lets them pass.

Let’s Renew Our Vows

Lu Yunqi kidnaps Jiuling when she makes a house call in the palace. He imprisons her in a re-creation of their honeymoon suite. 

“hey girl” (cheerful with an undercurrent of menacing)

This scene is illuminated by 9 lanterns and 60 candles (I counted) and blazing shafts of sunlight strong enough to create shadows though an opaque window covering.

“So insane, I’m willing to light 69 (nice) candles in broad daylight”  

The scene ends with Lu Yunqi despondent that Jiuling doesn’t appreciate the second honeymoon.

Random Callback

Chen Qi is waiting at the palace gates for Jiuling. He’s asked if maybe she left via another gate or is just staying at the palace. His response:

That is a direct callback to episode 11 where Jiuling stayed out all night with Zhu Zan and had to give the magistrate an excuse the next morning:

If by “picking medicinal herbs” you mean “chasing eunuchs, stealing horses and getting lost in the woods”, then yes.

Detective Ning Yunzhao

Wow- this guy may be an imperial top scholar but he kind of sucks as a detective and he’s even worse as a hostage negotiator. Since Zhu Zan is busy escaping, Jiuling Hall can only turn to Ning Yunzhao for help.

The shop manager looks as surprised as I do- tomorrow? tomorrow? Your friend’s been kidnapped and you’ll look into it TOMORROW? 

The next day Ning Yunzhao brings his subtlety A-game:

oh Ning Yunzhao, don’t ever change:

 (from episode 7)

You know, in a drama that has relied so heavily on following as both a plot and narrative device, it is shocking that now, when following would make sense and really be helpful, no one is following. Why not have someone follow Lu Yunqi to see where he stashed Jiuling? Why give away the fact that you know he kidnapped her?  Sigh. The episode ends with Jiuling still a hostage and Duke Cheng’s party still heading northward.

Harem Count, Episode 36

Lu Yunqi (married to; second honeymoon)

Ning Yunzhao (turn in your badge)

Zhu Zan (on the run)

Fang Chengyu (in hiding)

Li Sanbing (on the run)

Zhang Baotang (on the run)

Duke Cheng (on the run)

Previous Ep /// TOC /// Next Ep

[purplehanfu]

Jun Jiuling: Episode 34

notes: Spoilers! Previous Ep /// Master post of all recaps /// Next Ep

In this episode: so much sugar.

The Return of Chengyu

Chengyu arrives back in the capital; the emperor has summoned him for an audience. Jiuling warns him to be careful. 

Jiuling and Chengyu appear before the emperor. The emperor asks Chengyu what reward the Fang family would like for their service in helping the refugees. Through the inexplicably thick haze of the imperial throne room, Chengyu makes his request:

the Fang family imperial edict- finally an opportunity to get rid of it

What calligraphy would you request of the emperor? a.) "Good Fortune" is ok I guess b.) "Bless This Mess" c.) "#GirlBoss" d.) "Protect Ya Neck"

Shovel Talk

After his imperial audience, Chengyu has a talk with Zhu Zan.

And with that look, we see that Chengyu has finally given up on Jiuling.

Real Talk

Jiuling tells Fengyu that it's been the current emperor who was ultimately behind all the shenanigans. She tells him to head home early and make sure the Fang family is well-protected. 

She also insinuates that she has a secret plan in the works.

Lu Yunqi skips his anniversary dinner with his alive wife to have a birthday chat with his dead wife's (Princess Jiuling's) memorial plaque.

He tells her (again) about Jun Jiuling and how he is sure they are fated to be together, then ends on a creepy note:

sounds like a fun time

Chengyu has a heart-to-heart with his half-sister Kinda Bitchy. She recognizes all he's done for her and he tells her she's always family to him. 

I feel bad I only ever called Kinda Bitchy, Kinda Bitchy. I honestly thought she would have a very minor part in the story, yet here she is bringing the character growth. Sorry, KB.

Won't Someone Think of the Meat

Everyone meets at Jiuling Hall for a farewell dinner. Alone in the courtyard, Zhu Zan and Jiuling romantically grill some meat (lol). Zhu Zan tells Jiuling happy birthday and gives her some longevity cakes he baked himself. 

This is all very sweet and it's nice that after 34 episodes their lips finally find each other, but no one is watching the grill for the entirety of this exchange. Well, Baotang and Li Sanbing are watching from afar. 

We then have a delightful dinner party:

and afterwards, for dessert, we get some more sugar...

“I have a measured tensile strength of about 3,620 megapascals”

Schrödinger's Chengyu

Death comes for us all, but it usually takes several detours in a Chinese historical drama. We learn that Chengyu has died in a fire. In an inn. Offscreen. I've seen enough dramas to know our boy ain't dead, so this turn of events has about zero emotional impact. Oh, and the deets on that fire:

Pick your caption: a.) Like Sun Tzu said: “… water shapes its course according to the nature of the ground over which it flows... and it might set a wood building on fire when you least expect it" b.) I'm no hydraulic engineer but I'm almost 100% sure water doesn't work like that c.) "and will we assume his identity based on some random personal item found near the body? Probably."

When Jiuling hears this, she, Kinda Bitchy and Zhu Zan prepare to head back to the Fang's. The news reaches the Fangs who are devastated- Gramma Fang realizes that this is no accident and goes to the Box of Family Secrets from episode 3, pulls out the mysterious seal and gazes at it thoughtfully. 

from ep 3

from ep 34

OK I have to complain about this. We just got a montage of Chengyu moments from this very episode- things that literally happened onscreen less than 10 minutes ago. Yet we get no explanation/reminder of why the seal is important. The last time we saw this seal was 31 episodes ago. That's something a viewer might need a refresher on, not recent moments with a guy who isn't even dead.

Harem Count, Episode 34

Lu Yunqi (married to, crypt creeper)

Ning Yunzhao (in a holding pattern)

Zhu Zan (muah muah chu chu)

Fang Chengyu (only mostly dead)

Li Sanbing (scandalized)

Zhang Baotang (delighted)

Previous Episode /// TOC /// Next Episode

[purplehanfu]

Jun Jiuling: Episode 32

notes: Spoilers! Previous Ep /// Master post of all recaps /// Next Ep

In this episode we see the return of a character who forgot to tell us something important back in episode 4, we discuss some of this drama’s more pervasive mysteries and we see that Zhu Zan and Jiuling are now acting like a real married couple.

The Play's the Thing

Duke Cheng is allowed in the city because Professor Emeritus Master Qi is in his entourage. Zhu Zan pays a visit to Uncle 12 to thank him for his part in foiling Lord Huang's plan. 

Zhu Zan also insinuates that the fun is just beginning.

Showdown on Main Street

Jiuling is on horseback and wearing the same color clothes she was known for wearing as a young girl. Why? To provoke Lu Yunqi who is waiting in the street for her (when did they arrange to meet here?). 

this scene has that hazy lighting effect indicative of an imaginary conversation, but the lighting is so inconsistent in this drama, this may or may not be a dream

It works and after the prerequisite flashback Lu Yunqi orders his army to capture her. Zhu Zan steps out of an alley and starts some of his signature trash talking.

This guy would have been a good hockey player, he's got a good chirp game. 

The fight almost gets physical but Zhu Zan reminds Lu Yunqi that the emperor is meeting Duke Cheng right now, and that harassing the Duke's daughter-in-law might not be a good career move. Lu Yunqi reluctantly lets them go. Poor Baotang and Li Sanbing are subsequently forced to witness some outrageous flirting.

.

Take This Job and Shove It

Meanwhile in the emperor's poorly lit reception hall, Duke Cheng is masterfully telling the emperor everything he wants to hear- looks like Lord Huang's plot to discredit the Duke is a failure. 

what a great way to start a retirement announcement

Duke Cheng goes one further and insists on giving the emperor back his military token and with it all the problems inherent in guarding the northern border. 

The emperor, Lord Huang and Ning Yunzhao all look like they didn't expect that turn of events. The emperor says he’ll just hold the token for the Duke.

The Return of Bing'er

Finally- someone who knew original Princess Jiuling that isn't immediately willing to believe that this stranger before them is said princess. It takes Princess Jiuling's former personal maid Bing'er all of... (checks notes) 20 seconds to believe.

commence the telling of a single, random anecdote...

I hope if I ever transmigrate get an entirely new face sewn on me that a.) the new face is model beautiful like Peng Xiaoran and b.) my friends and family are just as gullible and as willing to believe anything I have to tell them as these people. All that aside, Bing'er does have some important information to impart: On the night he died, the late emperor (Jiuling’s dad) mentioned the seal (which we were so concerned about in episode 1-11, but then never again) to his physician and the seal was seen by Lord Huang.

Breakout Session: Yunxiao Pavilion

You know, friends, here we are at episode 32 and still no one has told us what or where Yunxiao Pavilion is. 

The first mention of Yunxiao Pavilion was in episode 2 and I just assumed that somewhere along the way we would learn more about this organization. It's not like we didn't have the time. Yunxiao Pavilion seems to be a shadowy purveyor of plot-advancing secret messages as well as a great place to store inconvenient characters we might need later like Bing'er (and btw whatever happened to Wan Qing from episode 25? is she cooling her heels in Yunxiao Pavilion too?). I've just been assuming Yunxiao Pavilion is the sect that Zhu Zan, Li Sanbing and Baotang all belong to? I suppose I could go look it up in the actual novel, but I can't help but feel that if the drama is going to keep bringing it up, the onus is on the drama to tell us what it is. Perhaps it’s meant to be an eternal mystery- like the Fang family business. 

Sister-In-Law

The boys and Jiuling go out for a meal. Baotang is instructed to refer to Jiuling as his sister-in-law and leans into the task with gusto. 

Unfortunately Lu Yunqi shows up (how? how did he know they were there?) and so begins a confrontation that has all the gravitas of a square-up in a high school cafeteria. Baotang goes all-in trying to get a reaction from Lu Yunqi.

Lu Yunqi doesn't take the bait and leaves. Lord Huang is waiting for him outside with A Plan™.

plot twist: Lord Huang is also married to Jiuling

Lu Yunqi- You're Exposed!

Oh snap! We've seen Lu Yunqi's beautiful childhood memory of Jiuling saving him from older kids. Unbeknownst to Jiuling those kids were Zhu Zan and the boys, and they had a legitimate gripe- Lu Yunqi was stealing from them.

“so I was 15, Zhu Zan was 18 and Li Sanbing was 21″

this one incident is clearly the reason Lu Yunqi’s evil grew unchecked

Back to Our Play

Ning Yunzhao shows up at Jiuling Hall, asking to see Jiuling. Kinda Bitchy slings some insults and says wait here. A crowd starts to gather. Jiuling comes out to put on what I assume is the next installment of our play. This entire (very public) exchange is to set up Ning Yunzhao as a toady for the emperor and enemy of Duke Cheng. 

doubtful

Harem Count, Episode 32

Lu Yunqi (married to)

Ning Yunzhao (acting!)

Zhu Zan (fake married; schmoopy)

Fang Chengyu (afk)

Li Sanbing (forced to witness)

Zhang Baotang (also forced to witness)

Uncle 12 (appreciative)

Previous Ep /// TOC /// Next Ep

[purplehanfu]

Jun Jiuling: Episode 31

notes: Spoilers! Previous Ep /// Master post of all recaps /// Next Ep

THE BIG REVEAL is finally here!

you've waited for 30 episodes, just like the rest of us

THE BIG REVEAL

I don't even know what to say about this episode- it should be the emotional centerpiece of this entire drama because we get The Big Reveal. You know, The Big Reveal where Zhu Zan's suspicions are finally confirmed and Jiuling admits she is the Princess Jiuling. 

The Big Reveal where all Zhu Zan's questions are answered. But Zhu Zan just accepts this information and asks no questions. None. 

I will admit, I would have questions. Wouldn't you? Questions like: "Whose face are you wearing and how did it get there?" "What happened to the original owner of that face?" "How did you escape from prison back in episode 1?" “Who’s buried in your tomb?”  "If you're still Princess Jiuling, aren't you technically still married to Lu Yunqi?" 

Oh well, I guess it’s commendable that he still loves her as steadfastly as he did before the whole attempted murder/face swap/assumed identity thing. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what we all want- to be loved for who we are?

Moving On

The next day Zhu Zan and Jiuling sit by a stagnant pond and have a romantic conversation that is so sickly sweet I am actually relieved when assassins show up and try to kill them. 

Weren't you guys on a mission to help Duke Cheng? How do you have time for this?

oh thank goodness

The two make a hasty retreat during which Zhu Zan gets strafed by an arrow making this his third arm injury in this drama if you are keeping count.

maybe look into getting a pauldron for that arm

Boring

Duke Cheng's trip back to the capital is far less romantic and exciting. It is, in fact, quite boring. He gets stopped by a crowd of protesters who accuse him of creating military conflict for his own gain. The protestors are shown to be fakes when Annoying Maid is able to buy them off with silver (thoughtfully provided by Chengyu). Then further down the road a group of scholars stop Duke Cheng with the same accusations. They are shut down by the appearance of beloved professor emeritus Master Qi (thoughtfully provided by Ning Yunzhao).

Eventually Duke Cheng makes it back to the gates of the capital where even the Third Prince, there to officially greet/accuse him, looks bored. 

The Duke, his remaining army, Master Qi and the refugees beg the prince to open the city gates and let them in.

Interesting

I'm almost 100% sure that Zhu Zan's mom and her bodyguard Lao Ba are having an affair. More on this headcanon as it develops.

It's not just me, right? There's something here.

I, Uncle 12th

12th Royal Uncle makes a reappearance. He bounds into the throne room like a golden retriever and gleefully congratulates the emperor. Completely missing the point (on purpose) about the very politically loaded issue of Duke Cheng and his army returning, Uncle 12 focuses on the reappearance of professor emeritus Master Qi. The emperor agrees- Master Qi taught most of the scholars and officials in the capital and wields a great deal of influence. Denying Master Qi’s request to enter the city would be a bad look. Thus we see 12th Royal Uncle achieve his goal of getting Duke Cheng into the city without giving away the fact that he supports the Duke.

Apparently Uncle 12 graduated from the Nie Huaisang School of Acting and Attitude with a degree in Please Underestimate Me.

same energy

In Closing...

Wake up Chengyu, the episode is over

Harem Count, Episode 31

Lu Yunqi (married to)

Ning Yunzhao (benched)

Zhu Zan (fake married; real lovey dovey)

Fang Chengyu (asleep)

Duke Cheng (needs a nap)

Uncle 12 (honorary mention)

Previous Ep /// TOC /// Next Ep

[purplehanfu]

Jun Jiuling: Episode 30

notes: Spoilers! Previous Ep /// Master post of all recaps /// Next Ep I need a drink.

music to my ears, hot dad

So... Yi Province?

When last we met, Duke Cheng was cornered- he was trying to hold off the Qi to buy more time for people to evacuate. But now he's trapped in the north and with the peace treaty signed, he's technically in enemy territory. He apologizes to his remaining troops. 

“Now follow me into the light”... I have been waiting through 30 bizarrely lit episodes of this drama for the opportunity to use some variation of that joke and now that the moment is here, I realize that it isn't that good. I’m sorry.

One of the things I adore about this drama is that it will take the time (4min 48sec in this instance) going through multiple sets of characters to tell us the exact same thing.

None of this info matters as the Duke will be escaping in about 5 minutes because Jiuling has a plan- her contingent will fake a smallpox outbreak in the Qi military camp, allowing Duke Cheng and his men to escape in the ensuing chaos.

C’mon guys, did you really need to sneak in as a group?

Once Duke Cheng escapes, he heads to Baimang City where Jiuling is. Zhu Zan also arrives. Now we can reveal who his “wife” is! 

quelle surprise

"Of course not- I’m smallpox famous”

“Because I directly told your mom in the last episode”

After a tearful reunion with Jiuling, Zhu Zan has a tearful reunion with his father whom I’m happy to report has excellent parenting skills:

bust out the Drambuie, we're day drinking with dad!

Zhu Zan apologizes for not being with his father through the whole Northern Qi campaign.

a.) you had a job? and b.) I thought your job was randomly showing up in people's bedrooms- which will be happening again in 3, 2, 1...

Well look who staggered in! A Zhu Zan? In my bedroom? It’s more likely than you think! In a callback to episode 9, he asks the eternal question:

He then collapses in Jiuling’s bed, on top of Jiuling. 

They are caught by Zhu Zan’s mom who just wanted to drop off some snacks.

“I don’t care that you’re taking my son to pound town, don’t you dare waste food”

The next morning Jiuling feeds Zhu Zan hangover soup and tells him his mom witnessed whatever that was last night:

.

Back to the Capital

Jiuling's sister is sick with a cough (usually in a drama this means you will be dead within three episodes) but she still has the energy to goad Lu Yunqi.

He asks her what's meaningful in life and she says to help others. He disagrees and has a different answer.

looks like someone read Ayn Rand as a teenager

The episode ends with Duke Cheng and his remaining troops being called back to the capital. Everyone agrees that this is part of a scheme against the Duke and Lord Huang is the mastermind. Jiuling has an idea- they will travel with the refugees so that the Duke can send the message that he works for the people, not his own military glory.  

Harem Count, Episode 30

Lu Yunqi (married to)

Ning Yunzhao (benched)

Zhu Zan (probably in your bedroom right now)

Fang Chengyu (divorced from)

Lei Zhonglian (badass mofo)

Scene Hair Guy (still here)

Duke Cheng (pours you a drink)

Previous Ep /// TOC /// Next Ep

[purplehanfu]

Jun Jiuling: Episode 29

notes: Spoilers! Previous Ep /// Master post of all recaps /// Next Ep

It's like the old adage says: "fake it till you make it". Jiuling now finds herself fake married to Zhu Zan, and she has a new career as a fake military commander (it's super easy when you let everyone else do the fighting).

“I’m not and I wasn’t and I’ll be having other people do that last part”

Our Plot Relocates to the North

Jiuling helps Zhu Zan's mom on her errand to head to a neighboring fort to borrow a cup of soldiers and some supplies. The Northern Qi are already making trouble and the capital is dragging its feet sending reinforcements. 

Back in the capital Lord Huang is trying to convince the emperor that they don't need Duke Cheng (Zhu Zan's dad) to defend the north. Lord Huang wants the emperor to initiate peace talks with the Northern Qi to avoid further conflicts. Handily Lord Huang has an envoy who can start these discussions. I'm sure it's the mystery man from episode 28- someone clearly in Lord Huang's pocket. After the court session we see Lord Huang put a hit out on Zhu Zan.

Zhu Zan is now wanted by the authorities and has one (1) contract on his head

Ning Yunzhao visits his uncle (who was given a 3 month suspension from the imperial court for defending Duke Cheng) to give him some gossip- the Northern Qi envoy wants three of the counties in the north returned to the Qi. If the terms aren't met the Qi will invade. The emperor seems like he will relent. Ning Yunzhao's uncle is verklempt at this news. He's also kind of a dick.

wow, Ning Yunzhao has exactly zero (0) decent relatives

Meanwhile Jiuling and Zhu Zan's mom have a heart-to-heart. Mom's worried about Zhu Zan's safety. Jiuling admits that she knows him. They discuss the fact that although he is a chaos gremlin, his heart is in the right place. 

"He's a total himbo"

They are interrupted by the arrival of a message from the capital detailing the "peace negotiations". It is received poorly. Jiuling suggests that they help the people from the three soon-to-be ceded counties evacuate south. Elsewhere, Zhu Zan and the boys get the message about the three counties and are distraught. They are determined to continue northward.

Zhu Zan's mom introduces Jiuling as Zhu Zan's wife when they approach the officials in town asking them to spare some soldiers for the relocation effort. She later explains that little lie by saying that if Jiuling is seen as part of Duke Cheng’s family it will give her status in the north. Zhu Zan's mom also drops this:

I wouldn't call this foreshadowing so much as fore-shining-the-light-directly-on

There's dumb and then there's Zhu Zan. While he and the boys are in an inn getting a meal (isn't there a warrant out for his arrest?) they overhear tales of the brave wife of Duke Cheng's son. She has been leading the people of the northern counties to safety. A truly amazing lady. Gosh Zhu Zan, doesn't that sound like someone you know? Someone you know whom you know is in the north?

.

Jiuling and Zhu Zan's mom apparently packed for every eventuality because now they have quasi-military outfits and are going to separately lead troops to help with the refugee relocation. 

dress for the job you want

The northern Qi are enslaving the local population and Jiuling rescues them by letting Lei Zhonglian and Scene Hair Guy do most of the work.

“You guys fight the barbarians while I delegate the untying of these ropes”

Word of this daring rescue reaches Zhu Zan and the boys. They again wonder about the identity of Zhu Zan’s “wife”.

.

Back in the capital the emperor, Lu Yunqi, and Yuan Bo (the emperor's right hand eunuch) are scheming. They question Lord Huang's loyalty (good call) and discuss the Qi situation. No one seems to have noticed that Lu Yunqi put that imperial physician in the dungeon back in the last episode. After the meeting, Lu Yunqi puts out a hit on Zhu Zan.

now he’s wanted everywhere and has two (2) contracts on his head

Zhu Zan runs into soldiers on the road. He thinks they are there to arrest him, but they actually want to escort him to his father’s camp. He asks if they will get into trouble for helping him. The commanding officer gives him some military real talk:

“shit happens”

They head onwards to meet up with Duke Cheng.

Let’s Set the Stage for the Next Episode   

Jiuling writes an imaginary letter to Zhu Zan. This is mostly so we can have a scene with crying. I am convinced every episode must have someone crying.

spoilers: your tear-filled wish will be tearfully granted in the next episode

The next day Jiuling and her military advisors assess the situation and get some bad news:

Now any movement against the Northern Qi will be seen as treason and what's worse, Duke Cheng is cornered.

Harem Count, Episode 29

Lu Yunqi (married to)

Ning Yunzhao (benched)

Zhu Zan (fake married; come on, dude)

Fang Chengyu (divorced from)

Li Sanbing (omg, really?)

Zhang Baotang (I expect more from you)

Lei Zhonglian (badass mofo)

Scene Hair Guy (a solid bro)

Previous Ep /// TOC /// Next Ep

[purplehanfu]

Jun Jiuling: Episode 27 & 28

notes: Spoilers! Previous Ep /// Master post of all recaps /// Next Ep

In these episodes we are all over the place, both geographically and in terms of the plot. We get heartbreak, haystack hiding, trash talking, addressing vaccine hesitancy, plots to discredit a duke and meeting your future mother-in-law. We learn that betel nuts are efficacious in the treatment of tapeworms. I recast, re-write and pitch a new version of Word of Honor- you mountain people are going to love it.

You may be on to something there, Ning Yunzhao

Meet the Parents

Ning Yunzhao's in particular. You know how they say when you meet someone's parents you instantly understand why they are the way they are. Oh man. Ning Yunzhao's father has taken note of all of Jun Jiuling's accomplishments, her nice new commandry princess title and most importantly her highly profitable medical hall and decides that she is indeed good enough for his precious son. 

He decides to ignore the fact that his wife cannot stand Jiuling or the Fangs and he invites Gramma Fang over to talk marriage.

You Just Brought a Rock Star to the Folk Festival

Gramma Fang arrives in an outfit that is absolute fire. I have to say the costumes in this show are nothing special with the notable exception of Gramma Fang. The actress who plays her must have good friends in the wardrobe department because everything she has worn has been on point.

🔥 It's a floral capelet trimmed with pearls that morphs into a dark blue silk manteau 🔥

Ning Yunzhao's dad starts his hard sell for reinstatement of the engagement and he is getting no buy-in from the Fangs. Then to make matters worse, Ning Yunzhao's mother shows up and turns on the harpy. However when it comes to spitting fire, she is no match for Gramma Fang.

Gramma Fang obliquely refers to the fact that the Nings bought their title a few generations ago.  

Long story short, engagement's off- permanently.

Sorry Nings, having a son who is a doe-eyed, pouty-lipped top scholar isn’t enough

Ow, My Heart

In another room the doe-eyed, pouty-lipped top scholar Ning Yunzhao is telling Jun Jiuling he really likes her and he really does understand that it will never work between them.

This guy's a prissy, overly-polite, goody-goody candy shell covering a gooey chocolate center of loneliness and anxiety. And yet he’s so classy about the whole thing:

Gah don't make me like you, guy. Now I feel bad, his dad's a money-hungry social climber, his mother is a total harpy, his sister is a nightmare, his friends are idiots and now the girl he likes has rejected him wholesale. Someone get this boy a soulmate- stat. Too bad Ziyan from Time Flies and You Are Here bought the farm so dramatically (see recap here). Those two would have been perfect for each other. I can totally see them in their mansion in the capital filled with antiques, books, cats and all their favorite nieces and nephews.

the military advisor and the scholar- a perfect match

Jiuling finishes the conversation by saying that she has business up north, but she is sure they will meet again.

Ow, My Heart Part II

Jiuling has a talk with Chengyu, telling him she knows he likes her, but she only sees him as a little brother. He’s hurt but he continues to be helpful and fully supports her plans to head north.

my poor baby

Things that are happening up north so far: ineffective vaccinations, smallpox outbreak, Duke Chen may or may not be getting ready to overthrow the emperor, the Qi people are declaring war.

Haystack Confidential

Zhu Zan is still at his work release program, grooming horses. Baotang and Li Sanbing lure him behind a haystack to deliver some intel. 

I'm from the Midwest and there's one thing I learned the hard way: don't believe everything you hear behind a haystack. Also watch out for rat snakes- they love haystacks.

Zhu Zan makes a series of poor decisions- first to implore the emperor to send him back to the north (request denied emphatically) and then to escape horse camp altogether. Everyone knows where he's headed because he told the emperor and now every law enforcement agent in the country is looking for him.

Road Trip!

Jiuling heads north with annoying maid and Lei Zhonglian. Lei Zhonglian's arm has been completely cured and he has started a bodyguard business. Lu Yunqi's henchman Scene Hair Guy (I was calling him Anime Hair Guy, but his hair just does not have the volume) and his entourage are following at a distance. 

They make a pit stop to administer the smallpox vaccine and continue northward.

I love when they stick modern issues in historic dramas. Although this isn’t as good as the “sneeze into a tissue” dance number in The Long Ballad.

What a coincidence that they all run into Zhu Zan's mother who is travelling around this dangerous region for reasons unknown. Well, we all know the reason-  it's so Jun Jiuling can make a good impression on her future mother-in-law. Anyway, Zhu Zan's mom is attacked by bandits, and Jun Jiuling, her bodyguards, and even Scene Hair Guy come to the rescue.

“where I will ingratiate myself to your family and presumably have an emotional reunion with your son”

Very Off-Topic: Word Of Honor

OK hear me out- the interaction between Lei Zhonglian and Zhu Zan's mom's bodyguard Lao Ba reminds me of my idea for a Word of Honor fancast. I read the book before I saw the show and as I was reading, I pictured Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing as being much, much older than what we see in Word of Honor. Sick of the martial world, sick of political schemes, sick of themselves. I felt like the only reason they ended up together was that they hated each other just slightly less than they hated everyone else. 

I give you Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu

Book!Scorpion King had a very strong leather daddy vibe. I know just the guy. And I think we all know who would be a great Zhang Cheng Ling: 

We can even have betel nuts playing the part of Wolong Nuts. It's meant to be y'all.

Speaking of Nuts

We continue to learn so much about betel nuts! They don't mention any brand names- I am very curious about who is paying for this product placement.

Final Plot Points

Lord Huang invites a mysterious Mr. Yu into his study- they discuss the troubling fact that Duke Cheng (Zhu Zan's dad) is still alive despite their best efforts. In the imperial court only Ning Yunzhao's uncle stands up for the Duke. The emperor is not impressed and suspends him from his post. Ning Yunzhao looks both concerned and adorable in his court uniform. 

For unknown reasons, Lu Yunqi locks an imperial physician in jail.

I too would like to know the meaning of this. Literally. Why is this happening?

Harem Count, End of Episode 28

Lu Yunqi (married to)

Ning Yunzhao (engagement terminated)

Zhu Zan (haystacked)

Fang Chengyu (divorced from; still baby)

Lei Zhonglian (now Zhou Zishu)

Scene Hair Guy (gradually coming around)

Previous Ep /// TOC /// Next Ep

[purplehanfu]

Jun Jiuling: Episode 26

notes: Spoilers! Previous Ep /// Master post of all recaps /// Next Ep

Jiuling makes a deal and leaves the capital. Zhu Zan gets unexpected character witnesses, sasses his parole board and put on work release. Chengyu and Ning Yunzhao get in line to have their hearts broken- again. We all learn a little something about betel nuts.

we’re sending him to a farm upstate where he can run and run

This Guy Might Be Important Later

12th Royal Uncle is a smart man who acts like a frat boy on spring break all the time so that the royal family won't take him seriously (hey, it worked for Claudius). He asks Jiuling to visit his residence ostensibly for medical advice but actually he wants to signal that he's team Zhu Zan.

just getting him on your radar

Plot Pivot

Jiuling goes to Lu Yunqi to bargain for access to Zhu Zan. She offers to leave the capital. I do not see how this is a bargaining chip for Jiuling or a win for Lu Yunqi, but I suspect the plot requires a change of venue so ok. She also demands that Lu Yunqi convince Lord Huang (whose son was stabbed and run over in the last episode) to plead for Zhu Zan's release.

get your head in the game Lu Yunqi - neither of these things benefit you in any way

This Prison is Lit

it is just so rare to find an underground prison that gets so much natural light

Jiuling visits Zhu Zan in prison. It is whumptastic. May I refer you to this excellent post from @dangermousie​ who combed through hundreds of screenshots to bring you the best. Initially unhappy to see her, Zhu Zan relents and lets Jiuling tend to his wounds in the most ineffective way possible. 

what a diva

 dab dab

Jiuling tells Zhu Zan she is leaving the capital and that he must stay alive. She also passes on some intel.

So far Yuan Bo, Lu Yunqi, 12th Royal Uncle and even Lord Huang have pled for Zhu Zan's release. What is going on? I am utterly baffled by this turn of events.

everyone, apparently

The emperor relents and has Zhu Zan enroll in an animal husbandry course. It's good to have skills.

Zhu Zan gets released and also gets in the last word.

So Much Following

Jiuling heads back home to Zezhou. Lu Yunqi's right hand henchman Anime Hair Guy is following them. 

Baoyang and Li Sanbing are also following. Chengyu, bless his heart, is beyond excited and rides out to meet her. Jiuling pays her respects at the tomb of the middle-aged doctor who gave her a new face back in episode one.

“thanks for going to all the trouble of giving me a new identity so I could basically resume my old one”

Hahaha Schadenfreude

Ning Yunzhao's mother is less than pleased to hear that although the engagement is fake, the feelings are real. Being Top Scholar ain't gonna help you now, boy.

Beteljuice, Beteljuice, Beteljuice

This episode brought to you by: betel nuts, apparently. 

This has to be one of the weirdest sponsorships I've seen in a drama. But I guess if any product needs an image overhaul, it's betel nuts because when I think of them, I only think of stained teeth.

Harem Count, End of Episode 26

Lu Yunqi (married to; deal maker)

Ning Yunzhao (mama's boy)

Zhu Zan (whump'd)

Fang Chengyu (divorced; still baby)

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