#just dolph being incredibly beautiful as usual

[mortemain]

Dolph Lundgren in Dark Angel (1990)

[9bitghost]

REMEMBER THIS AU???

Took me 2 years, but I’ve finally got everyone’s designs roughed out for my RPG AU!! Some designs gave me a lot of trouble, so I’ll probably change a few in the future, but for now, they’re all based around their outfits in the show. Getting back into this has also got me more into learning about D&D, so classes and subclasses are based on stuff from there and homebrews I’ve found and liked, with some liberties taken for the fun of it. ☆  

I want to write proper backstories for all of them sometime, but until then, classes, alignments, and headcanons are under the cut!! ↓ ↓ ↓ (VERY LONG)

This AU can be set either as its own, or if everyone sat down and played D&D with characters based on themselves. I would love to write fic splicing the two together if I ever get around to it lol

Character Info

David: Ranger/Bard - Champion of Nature (Lawful Good)

S4E7 pretty much laid out his character and class perfectly; David is a Bard at heart, and sought to make people happy with his tricks and performances when he was younger, until he found his true calling in his connection to Mother Nature. His home is wherever he can set up camp and has his heart set on protecting the forests’ natural beauty and integrity from quickly growing cities. Breaks into song at random and dislikes conflict. Prefers to shut fights down though talk and song, but does excel at archery and long-range combat if the need arises.

(tbh, binary-bird’s david design is so much cooler and i was heavily inspired by it, so please just imagine him in that one instead lol)

Gwen: Bard/Cleric - College of Lore (Chaotic Neutral)

In all honesty, Gwen is the most difficult one for me to place in this AU. She strikes me as the one to DM for the kids so Nerris can play, and enjoys creating stories for them, hence why Bard comes as the most natural to class her. An unconventional one, as she’s sharp-tongued, usually straight-faced, and witty in a sarcastic sense. Probably owns a bookshop in her town and writes many of her own books (half of which are erotica and stored in a curtained off area you need a password for). She has a way with words and handles her spear with the same proficiency. Badass fighter if you get on her bad side.

Max: Rogue - Thief/Trap Master (Chaotic Neutral)

Grew up poor and practically on the streets with barely a glance from his parents, Max learned it’s every person for themselves from an early age. Known for being a little shit and a master at picking pockets, MacGyvering traps, and winning bets through words alone. Shitton of knives, prefers throwing them from the shadows. Says he doesn’t care for anyone but himself, but would actually kill a man or 20 for his friends. Met Neil when trying to swindle him out of some expensive potions and wound up traveling with him. Purely for profit at first after hearing about the tech Neil’s in search of, but they ended up clicking and became fast friends (in denial).

Neil: Artificer - Alchemist (Lawful Neutral)

Neil’s family is very well off and many of his relatives are well known scholars; his father being the leading philosopher in their district. Though proud of his family’s and his own scientific accomplishments, Neil became bored of his mundane village and life, and thus set off in search of new scientific discoveries that could land him a place in the history books. Hates combat and stays out of it whenever he can. Sticks to the side lines, crafting bombs, poisons, splash potions, and buffs for the party. Relatively level-headed and often leads the team’s strategies in battle, until things go wild and sends him into a panic.

Nikki: Barbarian/Druid - Path of the Beast Master (Chaotic Good)

Born into a broken family, Nikki fled to the woods at a young age and lost her way home. Found and taken in by a pack of wolves, she quickly answered to the call of Mother Nature and grew into a nomadic lifestyle with her pack. Nikki is a wild one, brandishing her giant axe with ease, communicating with animals, and able to shift into a wolf form. Met Max and Neil as they were passing thorough her forest and nearly bit a chunk out of Neil’s arm on their first encounter. Would do anything for her friends and thinks of them as her own pack as she journeys with them.

Nerris: Sorceress - Storm Bloodline (Neutral Good)

Born to a human mother and elven father, Nerris is skilled in magic pertaining to the elements, specifically lightning and electricity, and not to shabby with their shortsword when the need arises. Left their village on a traditional journey to hone their skills and become a great sorceress to make their family proud. Always up for adventure, but rash and dives head first into more dangerous situations. Met and traveled with Harrison, who they bicker with constantly over who is the better magic user, before they both joined the Main Trio feat. David. Don’t mess with their party, man, Nerris will beat your ass into the neighbouring realm.

Harrison: Wizard - School of Illusions/Wild Mage (Chaotic Good)

Harrison was born with chaotic magic that had his parents on edge since the beginning. He quickly became a specialist in illusions, but due to his wild magic, he’d caused a lot of unintentional trouble in his town, escalating to making his brother disappear with no idea how to get him back. Fled his family and town young in pursuit of honing his magic and searching for a way to bring his brother back. Terrible at hand-to-hand, weapons, or close-range combat, but packs a punch when his magic goes haywire, often being linked to his emotions. Will sometimes levitate without realizing and freak people out. His hat is his nearly unlimited inventory and is probably a dangerous rip in space-time that should be dealt with.

Preston: Bard - College of Glamour (Lawful Neutral)

Preston travels around in search of fame and artistic inspiration and loves any audience he can find. Rarely staying in one place for long, he recites his poetry and one-man acts for captivated audiences in the town’s square or taverns, sometimes accompanied by lute or flute music. His outfits are flashy and as much of a trainwreck as he is so he’s easy to spot. In battle, his acts are usually used to stun or paralyze opponents, often done as a tag team with a more offensive member of the party. If forced to fight, he’s not too bad at fencing his way out of it.

Dolph: Bard - College of Paint (Neutral Good)

Born into a prestigious and proud military family that he left to pursue a career in art. Has painted quite a few nobles’ portraits and has thus become well known as a traveling painter. Became quick friends with Preston when they met in a town square Dolph was passing through. Hates conflict and tends to stay back in battle, but if he has to fight, he’s able to summon whatever he paints in ink to fight for him (think Sai from Naruto lol).

Ered: Rogue - Scout (Chaotic Neutral)

Daughter and assassin-in-training of her two fathers who work closely with their country’s monarchy. Though she loves them more than anything, Ered has more of a go-my-own-way attitude, opting to work more freely and alone for smaller contracts than under her parents’ wings. Amazing sharp-shooter with her crossbow and can hold her own in hand to hand combat. She’s a name quite a few know in underground circles, and Max has heard of her before as well.

Nurf: Barbarian - Path of the Brawler (Chaotic Neutral)

Half-orc and full temper, Nurf is a brawler through and through. On the run for various crimes and resents the justice system for putting his mother behind bars. Fights mainly with fists and daggers and is one of the strongest in the party. Actually quite perceptive and insightful, but whether he chooses to act upon that insight is entirely dependent on how he feels at that moment. Nurf joined the party a little later than the rest, after meeting them during an ongoing brawl and teaming up as a spur-of-the-moment decision. He stuck around for one reason or another.

Space Kid: Cleric - Cosmic Domain (True Neutral)

Space Kid comes from a line of astronomers and astrologists, and he too answers to the Stars and Celestial Bodies. Many of his decisions are based on what star charts tell him and he’s just happy to be along for the ride. Met the Main Trio early on during a quest relating to astrology and, realizing they lacked a designated healer for the team, found Space Kid to be decent enough. Probably has untapped powers that are pretty incredible if he knew how to access them. Sticks around due to the Stars hinting that their fates are tied and good things will come about in the party’s future.

Other Notes

I’ve gotten an ask or two in the past asking about Daniel and he is 1458903% a Lawful Evil Warlock/Bard who answers to his patron Xemüg. Quartermaster is also a Warlock, probably Chaotic Neutral, and I like the idea of his patron being The Octopus (thank you S4E5 for the harrison and QM inspiration).

[extremedivas]

Top Five Failed Attempts By WWE to Create the Next Trish Stratus.

Trish Stratus, even at her peak, was never something out of All Japan Women, circa 1994. She was a decent worker, although Victoria (now Tara in TNA) and Molly "Nora Greenwald" Holly (two performers she often  feuded with in 2002-2004) were superior to her in the in-ring department. She was over, but never had the connection with fans that, say, Sunny or Lita did in their primes (indeed, after Trish’s brief in-ring return this year, she just disappeared. Fans didn’t seem to notice or care.)   She was never a huge ratings draw like Sable (who in 1999, believe it or not, was actually pulling in bigger ratings than Steve Austin.) In short, Trish was a decent all-rounder, but never excelled in any area (although her heel promos were occasionally very good.) but still WWE brass has placed her on a lofty pedestal.  She was brought into be a trainer for Tough Enough. She’s likely to go into the Hall of Fame next year. Announcers and fellow wrestlers will often lavish praise on her and refer to her as a legend. Why, all the adoration? Well Trish is the only tangible proof management have that they can take a model and turned her into a good performer. It likely justifies their whole attitude to the women’s division: why bother hiring actual female wrestlers (who usually don’t have the looks), when you could just get models in and train them to be good wrestlers? Accordingly, they’ve tried to replicate the Trish experiment since. Even if, as I have noted, the original was probably a bit over-rated anyway. But, nonetheless, they’ve still tried. And, needless to say, most of the results have been a dismal failure. So, let’s have a look at five of the most blatant failures:

5.Ashley Massaro

What She Had Going For Her: She was a rock chick! She was totally different from all the other blond models! Well, okay, she really wasn’t. But the glimmer of personality she showed during the second Diva Search contest allowed her to win and gain the $250,000 contract. Also, Kevin Dunn and Vince McMahon liked her. A lot. This was mainly why she got the WWE spot on the CBS show Survivor, when the company was asked by the show to submit a contestant, even though most thought she would be a disaster and it would be ample opportunity to push an up and coming male star (indeed, Ashley lasted about 1 week and a half before getting kicked off).   

What Went Wrong: Ashley was an atrocious wrestler. Like, unbelievably bad. Sloppy, un-coordinated, injury-prone...frankly, Manami Toyota would have dug up her grave to roll in if she ever saw one of Massaro’s matches. Jenna Morasca even thought Ashley was a crappy women's wrestler and could have put more of an effort in. Massaro also battled personal issues (reportedly, getting sent him from a Raw taping, due to being in "bad shape", which in wrestling usually means only one thing); she also shrunk dramatically in size, prompting worries about her possibly having an eating disorder. No, it’s never a good sign when we can clearly see your rib cages in pictures.  Then there was the small matter of Rolling Stone Magazine outing her as a high-priced escort in their May 2008 issue after an FBI sting operation. Ashley took to her MySpace, vociferously denying the reports and claiming she was contacting her lawyer to demand a retraction. The Rolling Stone writer, Michelle Grigoriadis, stood by the claims that Massaro had worked as a $50,000 a night for a Los Angeles Escort Agency (and denied the theory that Massaro had been mixed up with a Las Vegas model of the same name.)  The magazine never issued an apology or retraction, and nothing was ever heard about Ashley and her legal action again (quite similar to the time Dave Batista dramatically announced he was taking legal action against Sports Illustrated for linking him with steroid use, and then never made another peep about it again).  She was released some time afterwards. Although it probably had less to do with the Rolling Stone story, and more with the fact that management had had it with her.

Where Is She Now: She was apparently in talks to do a reality show with VH1 (isn’t everyone?) The pitch of the show is that unknown MMA fighters would fight in gruelling matches to win the privilege of dating the supposedly stunning Ashley (for some reason, this concept conjured up the memory in my mind of GSP after he won the interim Welterweight title: “No, No, I don’t want this!”)

4.Christy Hemme

What She Had Going for Her: She was the winner of the first Diva Search and a management favourite for some time- they liked her look and her willingness to learn. Indeed, Christy was enthusiastic and worked very hard to get better in the ring. Indeed her first few performances were, for someone with limited training, very good indeed.

What Went Wrong: No-one is quite sure, actually. She was demoted to OVW in late 2005 (in a move that was speculated to have been an encouragement by WWE for her to quit on her own; although, instead,  she relished the opportunity to get better)  She was officially released from WWE in December of that year for what were apparently “budget reasons” (which makes sense: she was making quite a lot of money to not do that much, after all). Although Hemme strongly denied this and said she was more than willing to take a paycut. There were also some bizarre rumours about her and HHH (which were shot down by most reporters; after all, Christy looks way too much like a woman for HHH to be interested.) So, what was the deal? Later, Hemme writing in November 2008, claimed she had quit: “My departure from WWE was on my own terms because I stuck to my guns on my morals and values as a human being. I knew in my gut that it would be the end, but I also knew that carrying guilt for knowingly doing something against what I believed wasn't worth getting ahead. Leaving broke my heart... but doing the right thing is something I will always be proud of." Hmmm.

Where is She Now: Earning a huge pay check in TNA to do something that only mildly resembles ring announcing.  

3.Kelly Kelly

What She Had Going for Her: Signed at 19 when Johnny Ace spotted her photo in a bikini magazine (prior to that the only wrestling match she had seen was Andre vs. Hogan at Wrestlemania III)   Kelly was probably far too young when she got called up in 2006, but she is, nonetheless, an enthusiastic performer and well-liked backstage (It’s been noted that Randy Orton got a ton of heat for his criticisms towards her in his infamous interview with Arizona's Real Rock Radio Interview, because of her popularity in the locker room). She worked hard to get better in the ring and was given the divas championship after she won a title match in the fan voting for the interactive edition of Monday Night Raw. She even cried when she won her title(presumably because she was happy, not because she was distressed at being burdened with the ugly thing.) Also, she can count Vince McMahon and Kevin Dunn among her biggest supporters backstage.

What Went Wrong: She’s deathly afraid of the ring ropes, for a start. She’s also had some absolutely atrocious matches (Notably with Brie Bella at Money in the Bank) as champion. Also, in recent times, she’s become far more well-known for her turbulent love life than she has for any of her in-ring contributions. In the past, she’s been romantically linked with Dolph Ziggler, Andrew “Test” Martin, Chris Jericho and Batista (who admitted that, shockingly, he found the girl was dating “immature”, apparently not realizing that’s what happens when you date someone young enough to be your daughter.) It was all this that apparently inspired Orton’s harsh remarks last month.

Where Is She Now:  Still hiding in fear from the ring ropes, I assume. Also: shooting Randy Orton evil glares if she spots him backstage at a taping.

2. Candice Michelle

What She Had Going for Her:  Former fetish model Candice worked hard to improve her in-ring skills after joining WWE in 2004. Eventually, her hard work paid off and WWE rewarded her with the title at the notorious WWE Vengeance in 2007. Oh, and Vince liked her. A lot.

What Went Wrong: While she improved a lot as a wrestler, she still wasn’t that great. She was never particularly over either. Of course what really killed her career was broken collarbone in a late 2007 match with Beth Phoenix, an injury she was never able to fully recover from. She also committed the ultimate diva infraction of Not Being In Totally Perfect Shape and was released soon afterwards. After her release, she put up an incredibly gracious goodbye note on her official WWE blog, thanking the McMahon family and everyone else at WWE for everything they had done for her. It was rather coldly yanked from the site an hour later.

Where Is She Now: She got married to a doctor and had a daughter called Aki-Anne (almost as bad as a NXT name, isn’t it?). She can occasionally be found on the convention circuit, but appears to have moved on from wrestling for the most part.  

1. Melina

What She Had Going For Her: Upon her debut, former beauty queen and Tough Enough contestant Melina Perez gained notice for her wrestling talent, presence and mic skills. Indeed, many predicted that she, along with her on and off screen boyfriend John Morrison, would become a major star in wrestling. Also, Mick Foley was a big fan. And Batista. And Bret Hart (who, in something he will probably never live down, once called her the "best wrestler in the world".)

What Went Wrong: Where to start? She was a heat-magnet for a start: shortly after her debut, she got sent to wrestler’s court in Australia for being rude to the other women and hitting on the wrong people (in their infamous shoot, Paul London and Brian Kendrick noted that she cried the entire time, and they thought the whole thing was awkward, needless and a complete waste of time) She apparently got into a catfight with Sharmell at one point, too. Melina’s erratic behaviour eventually got her and Morrison sent over to Raw. Later, she was kicked out of the locker room by Lita for her attitude. She was often compared to Tammy “Sunny” Sytch, who was also known for being a handful backstage during her run. She also allegedly got Brooke Adams fired for daring to wear furry boots, like she did (for her part, Brooke denied the story on Twitter, but acknowledged Melina was extremely difficult to be around in WWE, calling Melina a "rude, fake b****.")

More recently, Melina convinced herself that Trish Stratus had “stolen” her spot at Wrestlemania and instructed Morrison (who really does need to grow a pair) to give Trish the cold shoulder, bringing down an avalanche of heat on herself and Morrison. She also suffered a fair amount of injuries, including a torn ACL in early 2010, which seem to have affected her wrestling too: She has went from being a decent women’s wrestler to being as bad as the rest of the models turned wrestlers. Even if Ariane from Tough Enough claimed she had a five star classic with Alicia on Superstars once. And, worse still for any diva, years on the road and bad plastic surgery have also taken their toll on her looks: Melina has went from being a pretty girl to looking a bit like Michael Jackson.  In such a cosmetic business (even the always- thin Maria Kanellis once claimed she had been dragged into WWE offices and told to lose weight) this likely doesn’t bode well for her future in WWE.  

There’s also the strange behavior: the odd tweets, the strange Youtube videos, her new work-shoot persona (as for whether the angle is any good, let’s put it this way: she’s no CM Punk) and, of course, the skittles. Don’t forget the skittles. You know it’s never a good sign when Michael Cole (who is usually receiving instructions from Vince McMahon) refers to you as a “wackjob” on air (as Cole did last Monday) and it has nothing whatsoever to do with your on screen character.

Where Is She Now: Still munching down skittles and bossing Morrison around, I guess.

[wwefluffandstuff]

Eye Of The Tiger Part 1 (Dolph Ziggler X Reader)

Dolph Ziggler mini series maybe full length series. I DON'T KNOW BUT WE'LL FIND OUT. It had been a long week for you. Family drama at the forefront, mainly your parents and siblings being adamant you should come back home and settle down as opposed to being a wrestler, so you did the best thing to clear you head and went to the gym. The recent upset had been after you signed to the WWE and moved to Florida to make it a lot easier for work and that had been it for them. It had become very real and considering you were making your TV debut on Smackdown who'd grabbed you straight out of ROH on tuesday they were doing their best to guilt you into coming back to them. They even played the "your grandparents are sick and we need your help to care for them" and "you don't want them to die without you saying goodbye". However you'd spoken to your grandparents and they'd told you they couldn't be proud of you. You thought over how much your parents infuriated you as you continued to hit the punching bag whilst blaring classic rock through your headphones. It may have been 1am but you were wide awake. Your anger grew even more when you remembered the phone call and argument you'd just had with your mother in particular. 'Y/N why can't you just come home and settle down. We found you a lovely house we're willing to buy for you and Robby just moved back to town to settle down and have a family. He was asking after you. We of course gave him your new number' your mother said and you practically growled down the phone at her. Robby, your ex, was controlling, manipulative and a user. You were glad to see the back of him but now you were more stressed than ever. At least now you could defend yourself. And you were no way ready to start a family with your career actually sky rocketing at the moment. No kids. Not yet. You hadn't even graced your mother with a answer just hung up on her and left for the gym. And as you hit your stride your favourite song came on and as you were alone, well you thought you were, you decided to belt it out to help get rid of all the stress you had accumulated. 'It's the eye of the tiger It's the thrill of the fight Rising up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor Stalks his prey in the night And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger' you sang out in perfect pitch. Your secret was you were a damn good singer. Especially when it came to rock music. Your rough around the edges voice was unique and sounded amazing. And had caught the attention of the only other person who'd come down to the gym at this time and you hadn't noticed. He watched in almost shock as the quite new girl who he'd heard incredible things about sang in a voice that was mesmerising to him. Admittedly she dressed like a rockstar but her voice was hypnotising to him. He couldn't help but stop and stare as she punched, kicked and kneed to bag in time whilst singing perfectly. When she jumped in shock as she noticed him staring with his jaw open watching her sing and work out he snapped back to reality. You were in total shock when you saw Dolph Ziggler out of the corner of your eye staring open mouthed at you. 'Er sorry. You must think I'm a real creep' he says nervously rubbing the back of his neck. You were squeaking in your head about the fact this was Dolph Ziggler, a guy you'd idolised for a while, talking to you. 'A little' you chuckled back equally nervous. 'Sorry about the singing by the way. I thought I was alone.' 'Please don't be. That was a pleasure to watch. Your voice is beautiful' he said making you blush furiously. 'Not the word people usually say when they hear me sing. Then again only my family have heard me sing so...' you said trailing off, getting angry at even the thought of them. 'You aren't close then?' He asked walking over. 'You could say that' you said sitting down. Dolph, much to your surprise' came and sat opposite you. 'What're they like?' He asked curiously. 'My grandparents are amazing. They're the most supportive and loving people I know. They've always supported my ambitions and they actually like me singing to them. My aunts and uncles are just as bad as my parents and siblings. I'm actually only down here because of my mother. She's insane' you said rubbing your temples. 'She's been trying to get me to leave here and go back. She's determined to have me become a housewife to my ex, who's a manipulative, abusive m, arrogant dick and have his babies. And now he has my number I'm screwed.' 'Wait really?' He asked in disbelief. 'Oh you have no idea' you almost growled as you sighed and lay on your back. You heard rustling and next thing you knew he was laying next to you. 'So that's why you're down here breaking the skin of your knuckles on that punch bag?' Dolph asked and you nodded now noticing the ripped skin and blood on your hands. 'I get so stressed out because of them. And now my ex has my number and I really don't feel safe' you confessed, covering your face with your hands. 'You can stay with me if you want. So you aren't alone?' He asked looking over at you. 'I'd really appreciate that. I know what he's like' you answered quietly. 'It's no problem Y/N, this guy must be really bad news if you're worried from what I've heard about you. Do you have somebody to travel with or are you alone there too?' He asked again. 'Alone on that front too. And yeah. The guys huge. Best way to describe him is he's built like Sheamus. And there's only so much I can do when he's got a knife or gun to me' you said and Dolph's stature grew defensive. 'You don't have to worry anymore Y/N. I've got your back' he said standing up and holding out his hand to you so you could stand up. 'Come on. Let's get some sleep.'