#just from a narrative standpoint it would be most satisfying because of the reasons I've mentioned above

[perrypixel]

damn, you and a few other cool ppl in the goldenlight community are really tempting me to just completely free myself and go public with it. tbh I probably will eventually, considering I’ve been fighting myself about whether or not I should write a fic about them for literal weeks now. and I’m slowly giving less and less a f lol. (this is the ace anon who used the 🤝 emoji and awkwardly called u comrade for some reason btw lmaoo)

but yes! the dynamic between Luz and Hunter is just so intriguing to me, all versions of them! them being besties is just as interesting to me as them taking on a more romantic relationship. (which is why specifically I want to write a very slowburn fic of them being genuine besties but then shit hits the fan emotionally) Like, I just feel they have so much potential to just understand and change with each other. Luz has been there for Hunter’s lowest lows, and Hunter even provided a listening ear for Luz’s troubles in hunting palismen about her fears about her future. The funny thing is that, yes, she never actually voices those concerns directly, but Hunter is perceptive enough of her to realize what she’s really thinking just by her throwaway comment, “At least you have your future figured out now.” I actually just rewatched the clip to get the exact quote down and I noticed that when Hunter tells Luz that at least she has a choice, Luz actually turns and looks at Hunter in surprise before flapjack comes into frame,,,,,, which I am not going to think about and overanalyze for the rest of the week. whether it was out of surprise that he was expressing his own discontentment or that he understood her and actively tried to comfort her,,,,hmphabwne,,,, both is good. talking about their relationship and how it progresses in Hollow Mind would be a whole essay of its own.

for me personally I prefer them being besties in canon over all else for multiple reasons, but god am I grateful fanfic exists so that they can be explored. haha sorry for the long ask but I needed to flush this out of my system .

YESSSS!!! YOU GET ME ANON!

So much potential for these two! I'm about to go feral!

I also love them as besties in canon. Like aroace Hunter my beloved and much prefer to remain platonic in canon but the romantic potential too? I will not shut up about it the potential! Like a ranted about on the goldenlight discord about it, but I said the same thing about how Luz is the first person to meet the REAL Golden Guard. She's the first person to trust him, even though he said, 'are you sure?' She's the only person that saw him at his lowest point. They just have this connection. In this essay, I will—

But if you do wanna share more of your thoughts I'm always here. Inbox is open.

[snake-and-mouse]

Hey, I see that you really love kimchay as a ship and I was just wondering what makes them so great to you. I'll be honest, out of all the ships on KP, they interest me the least and I'd love to be more invested in them. What's their appeal to you? (maybe it'll convince me to get more into them)

Hmmmm okay so this one takes some thought, and buckle down because it's going to get loooong and rambley lmao. For one let's start by saying I do not honestly think they are the best ship in the show, I do not talk about them the most and come up with more meta about them because I like them more than kinnporsche or vegaspete. When it comes down to it, I think I engage with them more because I'm more interested in how they actually develop and more invested in how they end, as well as the message their story tells. Which, yes is a little confusing as a distinction to make lol.

With kinnporsche and vegaspete, I usually come away from each new episode with an overall feeling of being satisfied with how they are progressing that doesn't particularly inspire the kind of fandom brainrot I have for kimchay. And, this may sound a little heartless, but quite honestly from a writing point of view I would have no objections to kinnporsche or vegaspete having an unhappy ending. In fact there were a few times where blatantly said I think Kinn dying would be a satisfying end to his storyline. Like yes it would emotionally cripple me 😂 I would mourn like Vegas with his fucking hedgehogs if any one on the main couples died or even if they broke up. But from a writing standpoint, it would not be a bad choice and I would respect it, and I really do tend to try and watch these shows with the mindset of both a fan and an author.

Kimchay tho? I've said from the beginning that this is a particular kind of narrative that seems so purposefully set apart from the rest of the story, so well positioned as this almost mirror world to the rest of the plot, that I both never know where it's going and am also so sure that the only satisfying ending could be a happy one. Mostly because Porchay, like I love Kim but most of the reasons I am obsessed with this ship are because Porchay is a very specific archetype of character that drives me insane.

I've compared him to Lan Sizhui from mdzs before, and it's pretty accurate, the child born into a dark environment who is both innocent and sheltered and yet intrinsically shaped by the tragic events of his life, his happy demeanor only one side of a coin, the other being a heartbreaking sadness and an untapped strength that the narrative is pushing him to finally use. Porchay is a cringey adorable inexperienced teenager, yes. But he is only just that if you only give him the briefest of passing thoughts.

Enter Kim, and as many wattpad y/n jokes as I've made, what Porchay has with Kim is in my opinion anything but a celebrity crush. Well, obviously it starts as that, but even then. Porchay gets his first interaction with Kim because he is someone who sees the details, the little things. He's not just another fanboy, he's studied Wik's music and videos like he's tried to get down to the marrow of how he ticks. And they have him say from the very first tutoring session, he's not just here for Wik, he's here for every side of Kim that he's willing to show. And he toes this perfect line between saying what he wants and never breaking Kim's boundaries and the growing comfort he gets around the teen. And you can see Kim completely falls for it. He's got practiced aloofness down to a fucking art, and yet we see it crack and show genuine amusement and fondness over and over again.

And with the later episodes we can see how big of a deal that is, because literally the only other time we see Kim lose his control is when he's angry. In my opinion, giving into positive emotions is a much bigger tell than giving into anger. Kim not being able to resist kissing Porchay says way more than him being willing to shoot someone for him, and this is also a message the narrative itself tells us.

Take kinnporsche for example. For them, the moments that mattered were the ones they gave into being soft, being tender, being open with each other. Stolen kisses, wandering hands, harsh words becoming private whispers. These were the moments that were ultimately rewarded. Kinnporsche is a show that says violence and pain can be your life but you can still find meaning in allowing in love and kindness. And it's why I really really believe kimchay can't have an unhappy ending, because this is not a show that punishes people for being like Porchay, it's a show that says the choices he's made are how you find hope.

So. Because I have to stop talking at some point. Kimchay. A story about a young man who was raised by his brother to be a kind, honest, loving person, who always reaches for what he wants and pushes the man he is falling in love with to open up and give into tenderness and honesty, while Kim fights every step and tries to remain the cold cruel person the world made him into. That is the story I am obsessed with, and why I love these two.

[nativehueofresolution]

Re: your last TVA post, why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?

TELL IT.

Armand was in a very specific (Not Good) state of mind when he told David the story of his life. Post-suicide attempt, trying very hard to cling to a fantasy that would soon crumble. Downplaying and sometimes outtright ommitting crucial events and people in his life, or just lying about it (see: Louis and Daniel as you brilliantly pointed out but also Nicki, Claudia and the whole Frankenstein thing). People call Louis an unreliable narrator and bless him he IS at times, but Armand is on a whole other level of delulu and most of it stems from the fact that he's overcome extremely traumatic experiences and is now just trying to give his kids the story he thinks they should know of his life. Not necessarily the actual truth. He's being vulnerable for them, yes, but it's definitely another performance in many ways. And like you said, the whole thing blows up in his face in a spectacular fashion in the end. And that's the most heartbreaking thing. Taking TVA at face value is a mistake imo. "He wants them to know him but not to be known" that's it exactly.

And what you say about L*smand is so true as well, their appeal is that it only works on a fantasy level. They both exist on idealized levels for each other, both as friends and foes, and they need each other to survive in this world, but they could never actually BE together. Being eternally rejected by Lestat is one of Armand's defining character features and it keeps happening for a reason, till the very end. Armand's love confession to Lestat at the end of BC was as much of a hate confession and it was said in the middle of an argument when Armand is grieving and 100% convinced both Louis and Marius are dead and it's not something that should be discussed out of context like I've seen many fans do.

ty! :) armand is my favorite character in the series, and i've thought a lot recently about how the most telling things about his narration are the things he tries to underplay or skate past. being vulnerable is another performance is a great way to put it. i think armand, like many performers, does a good job of using genuine feelings to hide the truth or present a certain narrative. it's not that what he's saying is totally false, but he's intentionally presenting himself a certain way.

one thing i find interesting is how his performances are often a response to what he's just been through - like how he copies lestat's gentleman death schtick after being rejected by him. and just prior to this, he went through the whole god and devil song and dance of mtd. so in tva he wants to tell enough his story so benji and sybelle understand the religious trauma that led him to attempt suicide - there are several leaning on the fourth wall moments where after describing his religious ecstasy he's like is it any wonder i got caught up and tried to become a martyr for god? he wants to be the fallen saint, fallen first to 'vice' in venice, the blood as a vampire, and then a failed religious martyr looking for salvation. it's not a lie, it's just not the full truth. and i think that comes through in the end when you see that for all armand was talking about how they'd be satisfied with mortal life unlike daniel, they've happily gone over to vampirism and really see no down side at all to what's unfolded. armand was kind of creating an idealized family situation that wasn't realistically going to last, but he needed it to be real in that moment. (anne doesn't dwell on this because, well, it's anne, but there's also the fact benji was basically kidnapped by sybelle's family. this is not an unlikely found family situation, it's actually quite a horrific situation. obviously, i think his lack of reaction is just more racism from anne, but i do think from a textual standpoint you could argue armand is perhaps overlooking how ugly this situation really is - in a way he really should know better on - because it doesn't suit the family narrative he wants.)

and i agree on your l/a point too, especially how they need the fantasy of the other person both on a friend and foe level. the reality of being together would take that from them, and that's while it'll never be consummated despite the attraction being mutual. and i think the fact that armand knows lestat does love him in his own way makes the rejection worse. he loves armand, just not enough to be with him, which i think feeds into armand's insecurity. his whole confession in bc really brings that element forward, as he basically says go run along to your sycophants who give you the type of love you'll accept.

to a certain extent, i understand the discourse because he is explicitly comparing his feelings for lestat to his feelings for the others, but like you said, there is a very specific context and he is saying this to hurt lestat in many ways. and i just really dislike the whole fandom instinct to rank relationships if a character has multiple love interests. it seems like a very sad way to look at life, like you're king lear trying to have a contest to see which daughter gets the highest love score. love and relationships are not something you can weigh on a scale, each one is different.

[gracielitamargarita]

Thoughts on Kyoru in Fruits Basket: The Final as a manga reader

(and bad metaphors about lava cake)

So with next week's impending shit storm of a Furuba episode next week, I've been doing some reflecting on our favorite Mutual Pining Idiots, Kyoru--and thinking about how the anime adaptation's choices in rearranging or removing content has impacted things, specifically with Se3E6.

And just to preface, I think the anime adaptation has been terrific overall. I also think loving something and critiquing something aren't mutually exclusive either. The goal of what I'm about to write is not to incite negativity, just to get some feelings out about my favorite pairing from my favorite manga series and provoke some deeper thought, I guess.

ALSO, I hope you don't mind metaphors--specifically ones about chocolate-raspberry lava cake, because that's what I've decided works best for explaining Kyoru. So FASTEN THOSE SEATBELTS PEOPLE 

MANGA SPOILERS regarding previously omitted content as well as VAGUE ANIME SPOILERS that can be implied/inferred from the ending of Se3E7 under the cut.

I think one of the (many) reasons I find Kyoru to be such a satisfying ship is because of the slow-burn element. Come season 2 through the beach arc, their chemistry is palpable, natural, and growing stronger and stronger with each episode. When Kyo finally admits to himself that he's in love with Tohru in Se2E9, it feels like we've been rewarded with a chocolate lava cake topped with raspberry sauce--it's delicious, complex, and full of gooey and satisfying substance.

Now like many, I'm a sucker for the pining idiot trope--let alone the MUTUAL pining idiot trope--and we do get to see this through the end of season 2 as Tohru's feelings for Kyo become more apparent to everyone BUT her. It's like we're LOOKING at the chocolate-raspberry lava cake, so close that we can ALMOST touch it, but we as viewers aren't allowed to cut into it yet--which makes every little encounter between the two of them all the more exciting, because we wonder what's finally going to allow us to ravish this goddamn lava cake (sorry).

Which is why I realized I'm actually struggling more than I initially thought in the final season. As it's been widely speculated, discussed, and now officially confirmed, we're getting 13 episodes this season. And while like most everyone else, I'd be thrilled with two cours, I don't know the ins and outs of anime production, AND, while I'm bummed, I've accepted that it is what it is--and that it isn't the reason I'm writing this post.

Of course not every panel or fleeting moment can be adapted from the manga to the anime. There were small little cuts here and there over the course of the first two seasons, but nothing in my opinion that's really SO substantial that it drained the lava cake of its filling--maybe some of that raspberry topping, but generally, the good stuff is all there. (Though I do love this moment below from chapter 82, which was skipped over in Se2E19)

The final season has been different, though. As we know in the manga, the inner turmoil for Kyo--and Tohru to an extent--really starts escalating immediately after Cinderella-ish with Kyoko's backstory and Kyo's nightmare from chapters 90-93. I also understand that Cinderella-ish was Se2E23, and with only 2 episodes left in the season, it made sense from a directorial standpoint to end with the Kureno/Akito reveal versus Kyoko's backstory and Kyo realizing he needs to know his place.

But without this context, it leaves moments like the flower scene from Se3E2 less impactful--like a lava cake made by someone who skimped on the filling. To an anime-only (and even as a manga reader), it's likely still a satisfying moment to watch: we know that Tohru clearly has a lot of inner turmoil following her conversation with Kureno. Kyo's turmoil following his nightmare, however--and overall, the sentiment of him thinking he needs to stay away from Tohru, yet still finding himself drawn to her above all odds--is deeply diminished.

Which leads me to the main reason (finally, sorry) that I wrote this post--Se3E6, or the episode when Tohru finally admits to herself AND to Rin that Kyo has taken the place of her mother as the most precious person to her. 

In the manga, Se3E6 is made up of chapters 107, 108, 109, AND 114, spanning the end of volume 18 through the beginning of volume 20 of the TokyoPop mangas. Volume 19 in particular is one of my all time favorite mangas in the entire series for one clear reason: just as we've seen Kyo get to do in season 2, we finally get to see Tohru slowly own her feelings for Kyo, and MY GOD, is cutting into that lava cake and enjoying that delicious filling satisfying AF. The Mutual Pining Idiots are in full swing here, both dealing with inner turmoil but also being unable to stay away from one another either. In addition, they're dealing with normal teenage awkwardness too, which feels like a bonus topping (would nuts go well, do we think? LOL) to the Kyoru lava cake.

But between the producers adapting Momiji's arc prior to episode 6 AND the producers ending episode 6 with a 2-minute horror movie essentially--AND, lest we forget, none of the Kyoko backstory at this point--we lost essentially all of that satisfying filling. 

And again, I understand, only 13 episodes and the producers are trying to make shit work and I do see why they made some of these changes in the overall big picture of things, but I wish it weren't at the expense of Tohru's character development and also for Kyoru, which had been so thoughtfully and delightfully well-developed in the first two seasons.

My biggest issue BY FAR with episode 6 is Tohru's confession to Rin happening before the sheets scene. The producers combined 109 and 114 for the second half of episode 6. In the manga, Tohru is able to openly admit that Kyo is the most important person to her BECAUSE of how he accepts her after she "opens the lid" to reveal the ugly feelings she's been harboring for years about her father. And in the manga, since we have the context of Kyoko's backstory and can see how she nearly committed suicide and left Tohru alone for days, it is gut-wrenching to finally hear Tohru confront and express her trauma in her own words. 

The sheets scene is arguably my favorite scene in the entire series. The anime portrayed it beautifully. Jerry and Laura ripped my heart out with their performances. It was a deeply moving scene (even with all of the changes) and the romance and pining was there--but, I hate to admit it, the feeling of cutting into that delicious lava cake to reveal that even more satisfying filling was not.

And now, come the end of Se3E7, we're approaching the climax of the series that we've been salivating for for so long now, the result of all of this inner turmoil and secrets and deep, deep longing for one another--and it almost feels now like the cake was baked too quickly, in addition to being drained of much of its filling. 

I was debating waiting to write this until next week after we see how Se3E8 goes, but my thoughts have been swirling about and this clown couldn’t help herself. I'd like to end this post on a hopeful and more forward-thinking note, though, if you've made it this far into my novel LOL.

There is definitely the potential to add a little more about Kyoko's backstory in next week's episode. I also expect that we'll hear more of Tohru's inner narrative and thoughts, which I’m really looking forward to. As several others have speculated as well, I predict that we'll be getting chapters 119-122 next week. Despite it being 4 chapters, everything should happen in sequence (versus with episode 6) and there's a lot of action, so I do feel like it won't feel rushed or disjointed. And while I could see them possibly ending with 121, 122 would be my preferred ending for many reasons (manga readers know where I'm going with this ;P) and I honestly see it fitting best there.

And regardless of what happens, I'm looking forward to eating whatever variety of lava cake is served to us next week.

And at the end of the day, we'll always have the manga, which will probably always be my favorite lava cake of all.

(and now I'm hungry for an actual lava cake)