#just heard the wackiest shit about colonialism

[kaustic]

the moment a european tiktoker opens their mouth about the us or americans i just know they’re gonna say the wildest shit i’ve ever heard in my life and be so confident in their inaccuracy

[gnomeicecream]

Witcher Game Night

I had a thought and I must share it: Rotating DM gaming nights. On the nights Geralt is the DM, its very cleverly thought out monster encounters with denizens of the monster manual you have never heard of who's fluff has been taken to its logical conclusion. Jaskier complains about the lack of details about anything that is not the monsters, but can cobble something together from his session notes to put into his ongoing novel series. Ciri and Yen love the murder. Triss is trying to keep these idiots alive, and have they ever tried diplomacy? 

When Ciri is running things, it starts out very formulaic, you think you know what you are getting into. You have to rescue the fairies from the dwarves. But three sessions in, the fairies have been revealed as colonial powers against whom the dwarves are fighting a resources war, with goblins and trolls as outside pressure threats destabilizing both countries. Jaskier, Yen, and Triss all get really into the politics, talking things out, balancing resources verses ecological disaster. Geralt thinks they should both be left to die as all of their problems are their own fault, and pushes for the abolishment of both governments. His solution ultimately works, in that the fairy and dwarven royalty are all assassinated, and a joint council of races is elected to oversee the region.

Jaskier brings the real sappy, love always wins, the power of song goodness. Triss and Ciri are his biggest fans. They attend a ball, where a murderer seeks to kill the Baron before he can abdicate to be with his one true love. Yen and Geralt look at eachother over the table, can you belive this shit? But then someone must provide true loves kiss to break the spell! Ciri and Triss and Jaskier "Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!" They dont really hate it. 

Triss says Its My Turn, and if you Are Not Nice I'll Turn This Campaign Around! Don't expect to draw steel (or silver) for a while while Triss is at the helm. But prepare for pirate adventures! Treasure in forgotten coves! Mermaid curses and kraken infested storms. The terrain becomes a player and only the gods can help you now if you didn't invest your skill points wisely. The bard, Jaskier, becomes the MVP. But its such lighthearted fun everyone has a good time. 

 Yennifer couldn't care less (she says). Like, I dunno, fight this griphon? Oh, I guess it has an egg, you could sell that. And so now you've pissed off its mother. Now you have to-" and then the plot just keeps unfolding, one action leading to another in an unplanned, freestyle mess. Its the wackiest, most off the wall, emotionally messy game of them all. Everyone cries when Lion, the spellsword, lies down her life to save the druid Dawnseed so she can finish casting the spell that will save Yggdrasil from the serpent Nighog.