#just like the what the girlfriends are youtubers in the tma universe

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Everyone talks about how funny it is that the what the girlfriends are public figures and I totally agree but you know what people don't mention? Jonah Magnus is a historical figure.

If nothing more he created a "club of gentleman" involving famous architet Robert Smith and no one can convince me he didn't write pretencious texts about fear and religion and mythology and possibly some real accounts people think are short horror stories. He is the prentencious goth nerd teen favorite obscure gothic gay. I don't care. The Eye teaches Elias to use the internet and he can't avoid finding Tumblr blogs about his gay ass letters.

Correction: I was informed that Jonah didn't create the club he was just a member. I maintain that he would still be a historical figure in the TMA universe, but still important to clarify so I'm not spreading missinformation in the fandom.

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

A Summary of Critical Role, by someone who has never watched (or listened) to it.

Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me. It’s me, the gal that did the terrible summary of TMA and the terrible summary of TAZ and now I’m back with a terrible summary of Critical Role. 

I know almost nothing about this show aside from fanart that I’ve seen, so bear in mind that this is wild speculation. My best friend loves Critical Role. I’m going to send this link to him and he’s going to text me in all caps “HG WHAT HAVE YOU DONE”. 

So. This show is like The Adventure Zone. It’s made up of two DND campaigns, all acted out by the same people, featuring different storylines. The difference between TAZ and CR is that CR isn’t just a podcast - it’s a YouTube series too. Each video is three hours long, which is just insane because there’s absolutely nothing I can focus on for three hours long, and I say this as a Netflix-loving-writer who currently attends college. Maybe if you watch it at 2x speed it would be bearable?

All of the players are voice actors from TV shows such as Steven Universe, some webcomic fandub, Anime, Another Anime, something something cartoon network, and Edgy Independent Youtube Voiceover; no one quite knows where his fame came from, but he now lends his voice to various projects and is a big deal in some niche online community. 

Critical Role introduces a visual element to the campaigns, with each player dressing up as their character. If you listen to the podcast version you miss out on this. There are also sets and props, but of course, it’s DND, so no staging. The set I see the most gifs of looks like A Midsummer’s Night Dream and it was really pretty. Flowers everywhere. 

I don’t know anything about the first campaign and I’m sort of convinced none of you people claiming to be CR fans know anything about it either, so instead we’ll talk about the second campaign. It is called The Mighty Nein, because there are nine of them, but nein is German for no, and this is funny since they’re a gang of troublemakers, so people are always just shouting “No!” at them. It’s a found family dynamic. I’m a slut for those. 

There’s everyone’s favorite character, Molly. He’s a tiefling with purple skin and red eyes, with curly hair and curlier horns that swoop suggestively from his prominent purple forehead as if to allude to how hot he is, somehow. He leaves his shirt unbuttoned most of the time. You’re all really thirsty for this lad, but he’s gay for a red-haired lumberjack guy that wears a manbun and a flannel and looks like a major himbo. I trust himbo guy. I think Molly dies. 

(I’m not sure if Molly is non-binary, because it’s hard to tell if a post is someone alluding to canon or just offering a headcanon, so if I’m using the wrong pronouns for him I’m very sorry. Same for any other characters.)

Molly has a sister, or maybe a cousin, named Jester, but her skin is blue. She’s a bard. Molly’s class is mage - or maybe wizard - and his boyfriend’s class is himbo. Jester has a girlfriend, who is cute and blonde and probably someone I’d try to hit on in a bar. Wait, maybe that’s the girlfriend from TAZ Amnesty. Please stop following each other around to the same fandoms. It confuses me. 

There’s also this little goblin girl with bandages all over her face and I absolutely adore her even though I know nothing about her. She is a rogue. Probably a thief. I get thief vibes from her. She is anxious about most things except for when she’s stabbing someone, which is often. She’s very very adorable. 10/10 character design. 

Other characters include: the token dwarf character, probably a halfling, and I’m sure there’s some brash fighter man who hopefully is played by a woman to undermine how annoying he is. I have no idea what the plot is. They’re thieves and they break in somewhere to steal things. Wait a second, is this Six of Crows? Is this just Six of Crows in a less steampunk era and with three extra people? Goddamit. Now I have to watch this show.

I shall now wait for my best friend to text me.