#just not having the community funds. i am exceedingly exceedingly lucky bcus otherwise i. well. lads.

[narutomaki]

It's not that I'm overly concerned about doing things to prevent my own and others illnesses that drives my health anxiety.

I know I am doing all I can feasibly expect of myself, I mask, sanitize donning and doffing, and flush with the lid down where it allows, wish with soap and water once or two times if the water wasn't warm, I let people in my social circle know when I experience symptoms of something potentially contagious. and I get vaccines when I become aware they are available and that I should. and i do the same for my indoor/leashed only pets.

the anxiety comes not from doing those things or keeping them up, they have all become second nature and I will likely not be giving them up

but they're also not exceedingly comforting.

despite doing all of this. I know I can still get sick. like alteringly, life ENDINGLY, sick.

it takes one slip up, one mistake, one error or oversight, one thing im uneducated on; and in things that are sometime not even under my control!

I can wash my greens, my fruits, and my vegtables; but if I get a pre-packaged fruit cup and the assembly line failed and that batch wasn't caught?

I check my meats for obvious signs of it going bad, I drop my eggs in cool water to ensure they sink. but I can't see prion disease, I can't ensure the meat I am cooking or injesting is parasite free.

and like. I KNOW I can do nothing about this. I KNOW the bone calling, nauseating fear of this is often times unfounded; I live in a country where things do have to pass testing and inspection and labeling and and and -

and?

one bad piece of meat and I'm dead.

one slip of procedure and I'm sick. potentially increasing my energy output and/or care needs. potentially dying.

what do I do about that? how do I deal with this other than accepting that death is inevitable and if I die in excruciating pain from something preventable it is likely nothing will be done about it? how do you cope with that?

there is nothing I can do about this except general kitchen and health personal protection quidlines. so I don't.

any way.