#how... the FUCK. do i tag this one boys.
It's not that I'm overly concerned about doing things to prevent my own and others illnesses that drives my health anxiety.
I know I am doing all I can feasibly expect of myself, I mask, sanitize donning and doffing, and flush with the lid down where it allows, wish with soap and water once or two times if the water wasn't warm, I let people in my social circle know when I experience symptoms of something potentially contagious. and I get vaccines when I become aware they are available and that I should. and i do the same for my indoor/leashed only pets.
the anxiety comes not from doing those things or keeping them up, they have all become second nature and I will likely not be giving them up
but they're also not exceedingly comforting.
despite doing all of this. I know I can still get sick. like alteringly, life ENDINGLY, sick.
it takes one slip up, one mistake, one error or oversight, one thing im uneducated on; and in things that are sometime not even under my control!
I can wash my greens, my fruits, and my vegtables; but if I get a pre-packaged fruit cup and the assembly line failed and that batch wasn't caught?
I check my meats for obvious signs of it going bad, I drop my eggs in cool water to ensure they sink. but I can't see prion disease, I can't ensure the meat I am cooking or injesting is parasite free.
and like. I KNOW I can do nothing about this. I KNOW the bone calling, nauseating fear of this is often times unfounded; I live in a country where things do have to pass testing and inspection and labeling and and and -
and?
one bad piece of meat and I'm dead.
one slip of procedure and I'm sick. potentially increasing my energy output and/or care needs. potentially dying.
what do I do about that? how do I deal with this other than accepting that death is inevitable and if I die in excruciating pain from something preventable it is likely nothing will be done about it? how do you cope with that?
there is nothing I can do about this except general kitchen and health personal protection quidlines. so I don't.
any way.
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Disney, releasing Wish: "so it's all about legacy--the new generation surpassing the old, overcoming the evils perpetuated by them, relinquishing singular power... and there's an old man in a tower, uh... animal sidekick, i guess..., ah... magic...?
Miyazaki, just out of frame, sledgehammer raised:
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AGSKFJDBDH LMAO Katsuki physically being leashed to his IV drip, held by his mother, so he’s forced to stand in the doorway and not launch himself across the room
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
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vector portrait for digital imaging class of RGB!! hey go read The Property of Hate if you haven’t already btw it’s an amazing comic by @modmad that i’ve been hotglued to since my junior year of high school.
big thank you to mod for giving their permission/blessing to wrestle with this horrible tv bastard in adobe illustrator for the express purpose of shilling him and this comic to my unsuspecting class <3
(edit: god okay pls click for fullscreen. hogy shit)
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i heard you got it, got it so bad
cause i am the best you’ll never have
close up under the read more
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rip rodya you would've loved american psycho
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So I was asked to expand on the whole Jamil having a trauma response to Leona comment on my last post, aaand here's that.
(This pertains to chapter 6 btw, so spoiler warning)
(also it's very much sleep deprived rambling so sorry if it's, well, rambly)
First off, I'm operating under the assumption that he has cPTSD. Jamil has clearly been programmed since birth to always obey the Asims and act in their best interests, even at the expense of his own life. This is a boy who has been forced to eat poison to protect them and their assets, who's family was forced to let that happen, and who has been so desperate his entire life to escape that situation that he was willing to resort to murder and doom not just himself but his whole family which he is implied to care about. Which means if simply quitting was an option, he would have done so. So, you kinda have to infer that he and his family don't have a choice in this role, and there are severe enough consequences for disobedience that fucking up or refusing is a worse option than risking a slow painful death every time Kalim wants to eat something. And this is all stuff that's been depicted blatantly in canon, not even touching on the assumptions that could be made from there.
So that's the position Jamil is in. That is a traumatic situation. This is a guy who has been groomed for servitude and obedience since he was old enough to talk. These kinds of circumstances absolutely can lead someone to be triggered into subservience or other trained behaviors. That's just, a thing with trauma.
Now, with the Asims being one of if not THE most powerful merchant families in their country, one of the expectations of Jamil as their servant and especially as the attendant to their heir is to ensure good relationships with other rich and powerful families, especially royalty. This was shown in the fireworks event, where he states that as a prince, if Malleus came to any harm under his watch while a guest of the Asims, it could start an international conflict. These are incredibly high stakes, a misstep on Jamil's part could ruin the Asim family and potentially even endanger his country, and it's pretty strongly implied that he and his family would take the blame and suffer the consequences. Now, much like how wearing a company logo while at work makes your actions representative of your employer, Jamil serving the Asims 24/7 (and especially as the chaperone of their heir) means that he is representing their family At All Times. This is why he is forced to defer to Kalim in all aspects of life even outside of their country, part of his job is to make his employers look good, and there are consequences for not doing so. This means that anyone of high enough status to be significant to the Asims is someone who Jamil is required to be subordinate to.
Then, enter Leona. As a wealthy prince, he would be someone who Jamil is expected maintain good relations with at any cost to himself. With his position Leona could literally destroy Jamil's (and probably his family's) entire life with a single complaint to the Asims about his conduct. Like, he could do that with no actual cause just for fun, because the Asims are 100% going to take the side of a prince over an expendable servant. This means that one misstep or any backtalk from Jamil puts him at massive risk, it is entirely up to Leona whether or not he suffers for any of these actions, and while the audience knows Leona's personal morals would prevent him from actually doing that, Jamil does not.
THEREFORE (sorry this ended up so long), once Jamil was in a life threatening situation with Leona, it seems likely that all this programming and fear would manifest in desperately trying to protect him and follow orders the way he's always done for Kalim. To me, the way he snapped into bodyguard mode, and immediately complied with every one of Leona's bitchy commands (like giving him a hair ornament to throw away without question, and barely saying anything about it after), even while being humiliated and knowing he was less trained in magic, just comes off more like a trigger response than anything. Especially because I can't imagine that situation not being triggering, and I can't imagine him knowing any other way to respond.
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carlo's inherent tragedy as a character means that if he hadn't died young he would've gone through something worse. the horrifying realization that he inherited his father's personality <3
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[Trigun OC]
Team "would rather die than admit something's bothering them"
So for the first good chunk of their relationship, Bad Luck and Vash were more "fucking" than "dating". Bad Luck was really apprehensive about romantic entanglements, and had been taken advantage of by a friend, in the past. (While not THE reason he was kicked out of his community, it was definitely related.)
However, Vash-- aware of Luck's hesitance but not of the reasons why-- already had a little bit of a crush on him. So when Luck stupidly offered a FWB situation, Vash accepted, thinking he could be chill about it. He quickly realized, no, he could NOT be chill about it, and spent the next few months relentlessly pining and feeling guilty and wanting to broach the subject, but never saying anything.
Eventually, Vash's crush gets revealed, and by that point Bad Luck has kinda fallen in love with him and they get together and Bad Luck insists that it's all fine, water under the bridge. Truthfully, though, he feels a little betrayed, and has this sense of "why the fuck would you think that's a good idea" towards Vash, hanging over his head. But he also thinks he has no place feeling this way because he never told Vash why he was so hesitant (and still hasn't), and also he does love Vash now anyway, so there's really no point bringing this up now and messing with the status quo, right?
And that's just the beginning of their relationship. There's a whole bunch of other plot-related problems they never talk about until after things boil over. Eventually, they'll get their acts together and talk through everything, I promise. Eventually. It just, might take until after the plot's fully resolved for them to get there.
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sits down at the jeanharry table with my lunch tray. so like here’s how i see it. kinda iffy on whether it’d ever work out after martinaise but before martinaise there is Something going on. they’re not GOOD for each other (in fact harry actively ends up making jean worse but jean was already bad so it’s not like he was innocent) but at the same time they are extremely crucial in supporting each other since neither of them really are close to anyone else which is how it spirals into codependency so fast. yes they frequently fight and rip each other to shreds etc but also they are always hanging out and sometimes they genuinely are just having a good time with each other. and it’s definitely Something that goes beyond simple friendship, but harry definitely holds a lot of internalized homophobia & toxic masculinity and i’m 100% sure that jean does too, so like. the only way that their Arrangement works is if they don’t put a name to it. they KNOW that what they have is more than just two guys being dudes but they just call themselves friends (or partners in the context of work) and it works out fine as long as they both stick to that and refuse to put any more thought to it. yes they do things together that would definitely be considered dates if they were a het couple but they’re NOT a couple and they’re NOT dates because they are two MEN being DUDES. don’t you know harry dated a woman once? he’s STRAIGHT. they’re HETEROSEXUAL LIFE PARTNERS. the feminists hate to see two manly men supporting each other in today’s world. if they support each other by going home and fucking drunk that’s literally none of your business. you will never understand a warrior’s bond.
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if judit has 1 fan, that 1 fan is me
(harry's telling her some kind of stupid joke and judit's trying really hard not to laugh)
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The rot I did! I drew a study piece of @marsoid 's character Vick from Ride or Die (A REALLY PRETTY COMIC)
I adore this style of art and I am not versed in it, but I love Mars' work, truly, I have to keep paying a month out of nowhere on Patreon because of broke-ass disease HGK! Whatever doesn't matter, enjoy Vick and my broke car study!
!! Go check out Ride or Die here !!
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POOR GABRIEL MONTEZ! YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING DID YOU? ALL YOU WANTED WAS POWER. SECURITY. SAFETY. & THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT! JUST IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR BODY. LETS JUST HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS JUST HOPE YOU WONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.
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