#just read the perfect post-film poly fic

[help-im-a-gay-fish]

Okay I had to do some stuff, but here I am rambling about relationship between Killer and Nightmare in Colours of LOVE.

Some of this I might mention before some of it might be your and Jann or Yuri ideas... Anyway!! The way I see that:

Even though this is soulmate au Nightmare and Killer aren't perfect fit for eachother. They are perfect fit in threesome - Ccino softens rough edges of both of them, and changes their attention from being mad on eachother to carrying about Ccino together (especially at first when he is really depressed). But before that... It was hard.

Killer is really open about everything he thinks and feels. If he founds someone who is attractive he will flirt. Even when he is already dating Nightmare. And also he always shows his affection to Nightmare everywhere, in public too. That's cute and sweet, but Nightmare is really closed person so that makes him really uncomfortable. Night often got jealous with Killer flirting with anyone else, got embarrassed with his kisses and all on public, and in general is a bit annoyed with Killer's actions. Killer on the other hand doesn't really understand why Nightmare is so "tensed" (he is not, Night is just much more calm, but Killer don't get it).

They were braking up and coming back again a few times, because they had argued a lot about everything and got tired of this. Right now they are on their "best days" - they started to date again a few weeks ago and right now they are through some stuff, they understand eachother better, and pretty chill about eachother weird actions. Like in the second page Night is a bit flustered by Killer's kiss but he almost used to that. Same as he is worried about being late, since Killer is almost always late, but he is more or less fine by that. On next page (which you haven't seen yet), there are an interesting dialog between them, and I will definitely write some of "subtext" about it when I will post it.

Actually if they haven't met Ccino they would break up again after a few months. And maybe come back again after a week.

Also! Interesting thing about third soulmate: at the beginning of the comic (before Nigh met Ccino) Killer is 100% sure that they have third soulmate, but Nightmare is sure for about 60%. Killer is existed about that, he knew knew that he is polyamorious for a long time, but Nightmare hesitates a lot, because he can't really imagine himself in polyam relationship. It feels weird and also he is soooooo jealous about Killer paying any attention to anyone except him, that he worries to become "third wheel". Will it be different with Ccino?? Who knows (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

Hi kotikaleo!!! This was super fun to read.

Firstly I'm going to tag @zu-is-here since she started the studio verse

It's definitely an interesting insight to your comic and the characters!

It reminds me a lot of an early version of my own ideas about the studio verse nightkiller relationship! And I can definitely see the way we have bounced headcannons of each other paying off.

Them still dealing with a softer kind of lovehate dynamic is an interesting one. It doesn't seem to be as extreme as my version, but it's interesting that it's still there.

The fact that they are meant to work as a 3 makes sense as well. If they are supposed to be bounded as a 3 it makes sense that three they their relationship would be unstable. They don't work as a two, but they are soul mates and something would always pull the two of them together.

I'm also curious, since Nightmare isn't 100% sure that the lack of colour is due to them being soul mated to another person. I wonder if he ever felt like the universe got it wrong? And that he'd been mated to the wrong person? Or perhaps he felt it meant that him and Killer don't have soul mates and that's why they have some connections.

It sad boy.

Also if Killer knows he's poly by nature, is that something that causes disagreements with the 2 of them?

And now for mine and @jann-the-bean version.

This story has been something that we mostly developed in tumbler DMs but both me and Jan wrote a story about it. Jan wrote

KillerNight(s)

And I'm writing

Round and round till we all fall down

Nightmare and Killer's relationship started off baddddd, it basically started as a mutual dislike for one another. This is due to their conflicting personalities and morals.

Nightmare was originally quite excited to meet Killer, as he'd heard a lot about the actor. But almost straight away he found Killer to be rude, childish and irritating. Killer found Nightmare to be stuck up, snobbish and entitled.

The two first met at an awards ceremony and got into a yelling match after a few drinks and were separated. From there their dislike for one another was made quite well known to the public because of a social media battle back and forth.

This only went on for a few months however, as the characters of 'Killer' and 'Nightmare' were cast to play together.

Nightmare and Killer agreed to be civil in order to function while working and get the filming completed as soon as possible.

As they worked together, their dislike turned into a playful banter and respect for one another. And then something else shifted.

Now Killer has a reputation for being a player and one who likes to sleep around, as you said, he's open about his interest in people when he has it and enjoys casually flirting with just about anyone.

Which came to include Nightmare.

Nightmare paid no mind to it really, though he couldn't understand why it embarrassed him so much.

Killer comes to find Nightmare to be very attractive and enjoys his reactions when teased, he rights him off though because he was under the impression that Nightmare was straight, and he'd never try to change that.

It was a day when they were talking about Killer's eyes and how it's caused him to struggle, that Nightmare tells him that he thinks his eyes are very pretty and that they are an attractive quality, and something in Killer breaks and he kisses him.

So Killer feels like he messed up and the two avoid each other. But it causes Nightmare to start questioning things about himself.

Nightmare at this point had only every dated women. He assumed that he was straight. But after that kiss a lot of buried feelings are dragged to the surface and exposed, and he realises that he's also attracted to men.

So Jan goes into full details about this, in the fic Killernights, but basically Nightmare confronts Killer about the kiss and Killer tells him he 'has a thing for him'

The two go back to Killer's flat to talk, but their normal banter, leads to flirting and then another kiss. And Nightmare who is curious and suddenly craving new sensations becomes lost to him. Killer who finds Nightmare physically very attractive, also gets wrapped up and the two of them sleep together.

Nowwww this is getting long so I'll try to shorten it down a bit.

Basically, it's an amazing night. It's passionate, enjoyable and a lot of fun for both of them. Upon finding out Night has never been with a man, Killer guides him carefully though the process.

After that night the two can't stop thinking about each other, even though they both planned for it to be a one time thing. Again, they avoided each other until talking after a while.

And killer admits his desires for the other, and offers Nightmare a safe environment to experiment with his sexuality, where he won't be judged.

To cut a long story short, this spirals into a passionate and carnal, on and off booty call/fling with each other that spans for years.

Other that time they grow very close with each other, and come to recognise the similarities that they share, and have soft moments of just enjoying being together with one another.

For Killer, Nightmare is the first person to ever tell him he had beautiful eyes and mean it. The first person who wasn't at all put off by them.

To Nightmare, it feels like Killer is the one person that will never pick Dream over him. And he makes him feel wanted and desirable in a way few have before.

However, their are still parts of their relationship that conflict. Of course a healthy relationship will always have some conflicts. But for Killer and Nightmare the conflicts clash and fight with each other.

That along with both of their past traumas, (I wrote about Killer's back story here) means they find it difficult to talk about genuine feelings and what's bothering them. Causing things to bottle up and blow up over time.

They also find it impossible to admit that they actually love each other deeply.

They tried to be in a full on committed relationship once, (which I'm writing about in Round and Round) but it didn't work out for these issues. As well as the fact that Killer is poly by nature, and therefore gets anxious and uncomfortable in a relationship with one person only. Which he won't talk to Night about for the reasons stated above.

Enter Ccino.

Now Ccino is the missing piece for Nightmare and Killer.

He's soft and gentle spoken, which easily helps them calm down when things get heated between them. He also provides a safe and loving space to open up about what things are bothering them.

Nightmare and Killer's also, as you said, spend more energy caring for and sometimes worrying about Ccino, so they have less energy for the constant fighting.

Ccino was the missing piece. He's the person who will cuddle and read books with nightmare, but also the one who's super into affection, which Killer loveesss.

A relationship would never work between just killer and Ccino, since Ccino wouldn't be able to keep up with Killer's libido and killer doesn't know much about Ccino's mental health. And Ccino wouldn't work in a relationship with just Nightmare because Night's colder and more straight forward personality would leave him affection staved after a while.

They just work together! They are basically soul mates in this universe as well!

P. S Nightmare in this universe was also very veryyyyy jealous when Killer showed interest in Ccino. Which is something he took out on Ccino till Killer stopped it. After falling in love with Marshmallow he regrets this a lot.

I'M SO EXCITED FOR MORE. COLOURS OF LOVEEEEE

[writingfortoomanyfandoms]

Courtney’s 4K/Quarantine Writing Challenge!!

So, not only did I hit 4,000 followers a little while ago (thank you all so much again for that!) but we’re also all stuck inside for the foreseeable future and I know we’re all bored out of our minds (or at least I am) and I don’t read anywhere near enough fics as I should (and as I want to) so I figured since I’m going a Write Fest on my own blog to celebrate 4K (I’ll link it here if you want to check it out) I thought I could extend that to all of you guys as well!

So yeah, writing challenge, premise is pretty simple, I’ve hosted a couple before (lowkey flops but we move), you read the rules, abide by them, pick a prompt and a character and you write!

As always with me, I’m a nerd and so the prompts are split into categories - there are song lyrics, book quotes, comedy quotes and film quotes to choose from!

I hope you guys want to join in with this! I love reading what you guys write and this could be a really fun way to just keep us all moving and inspired over the next few months :)

The Rules

1) You don’t have to be following me but it would be nice because I’m lonely and want friends plz

2) If your piece of writing is over 500 words, please use the ‘read more’ feature

3) Reblog this post to get the word out (and tag anyone who may be interested!)

4) It’s going to be one person per prompt but if needed I can add more prompts

5) Smut is fine but please leave warnings as appropriate (THOUGH NO UNDERAGE CHARACTER SMUT THANKS)

6) On the back of that one, no inappropriate pairings pleaseeeeee

7) Also please make sure you leave appropriate warnings at the beginnings of fics if any sensitive subjects are brought up (e.g. mental health etc)

8) Ships and OC’s are welcome

9) Tag me in your writing!

10) Use the hashtag #Courts4KWritingChallenge

11) If you want to enter send me an ask with the prompt you want and the pairing you’ll be writing it with

12) The deadline for this is 15th July (this can be extended if y’all need it)

Characters/People/Pairings

1) Any of the BoRhap dudes and their characters 

2) (BoRhap!)Queen members (Freddie only platonically)

3) The Hargreeves Children (older!Five only)

4) Richard Madden (+ his characters)

5) Taron Egerton (+ his characters)

6) Rocketman!Bernie Taupin and Ray Williams

7) Smosh Members

8) Jake Gyllenhaal (+ all his various characters)

9) Chris Evans (+ his characters)

10) Sebastian Stan (+ his characters)

11) Any of the 5sos guys (poly!5sos fics also both welcomed and encouraged)

12) Stranger Things peeps (Steve, Billy + Robin/their cast counterparts)

13) One Direction guys (Niall, Harry + Louis)

14) Pevensie children

15) Sex Education (cast + characters)

Prompts

Song Lyrics

“Wake up sunshine, somebody loves you” - Wake Up, Sunshine by All Time Low

“When I take a look at my life and all of my crimes you're the only thing that I think I got right” - Lover of Mine by 5 Seconds of Summer ( @angiefangirlworld-2 w/ Ashton)

“Kiss in the kitchen like it’s a dance floor” - Sunflower Vol.6 by Harry Styles

“There'll never be another, I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life” - Black and White by Niall Horan ( @unn--known​ w/ someone from 1D)

“Let's keep each other safe from the world” - Lucky People by Waterparks

“Never wanted to be the boy next door, always thought I'd be something more” - Drowse by Queen

“And when I touch you I feel happy inside, it's such a feeling that my love I can't hide” - Hold Your Hand by The Beatles ( @flick-ofthe-wrist​ w/ Roger Taylor)

“It’s hard to think you could ever hate me, but everything's feeling different now” - Too Young by Louis Tomlinson

“All I can do is say that these arms were made for holding you” - 18 by One Direction

“I waited for her call - she always kept me waiting” - The Girl at the Rock Show by Blink-182

Book Quotes

“I am so busy keeping my head above water that I scarcely know who I am, much less who anyone else is” - The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do you start missing everybody” - The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger 

“Sometimes, I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there’s no room for the present at all.” - Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh

“I have measured out my life in coffee spoons” - The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Eliot

“As far as I’m concerned, I came out of the womb spouting cynicism and wishing for rain.” - Solitaire by Alice Oseman

“We cross our bridges as we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and the presumption that once our eyes watered.” - Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead by Tom Stoppard

“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.” I Am The Messenger by Marcus Zusak

“I love her, and that’s the beginning and end of everything” - The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Flitzgerald

“I just want you to know that you’re very special and the only reason I’m telling you is that I don’t know if anyone else ever has” - The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chebowsky ( @coupscarat w/ Damien Haas)

“Was there some kind of rule against drop kicking arseholes in the face? Probably. They always had rules against things that needed to be done” - Made You Up by Francesca Zappia

Comedy Quotes

“You have to treat everybody’s views, no matter what they believe, with respect” “What, even idiots?” Outnumbered

“Well you shouldn’t be prejudiced against fat people, thin people… men who have turned into women, women who have turned into men, gay people, ginger people… people from Liverpool” Outnumbered 

“Stand back kids, this school’s insurance policy doesn’t cover blown minds” Bad Education

“Do you think you could stop being so cheeky?” “Do you think you could stop asking stupid questions?” Outnumbered

“I spend my entire life around people. As much as I would like to, it’s almost impossible to avoid them” The Inbetweeners ( @queen-bunnyears​ w/ Ben Hardy or Sebastian Stan)

“We’re very hufflepuff here, wouldn’t you be happier in slytherin?” Fresh Meat ( @adrenaline-roulette​ w/ Ben Hardy)

“What’s the best way to make friends?” “Tell a woman you love her, and she says ‘I think we’re just friends’” Jimmy Carr, Jon Richardson

“There’s four things you can be in life: sober, tipsy, drunk and hungover. Tipsy is the only one that you’re not crying” James Acaster

“What’s that on your shorts?” “Oh - it’s called excitement” Smosh

“Full disclosure - I could just be an arsehole” Smosh

Film Quotes

“To me, you are perfect” - Love, Actually

“I wish I knew how to quit you” - Brokeback Mountain

“If you start crying, I’m gonna have to pretend to start crying” - Gifted ( @beysenpai​ w/ Chris Evans)

“I’m with you ‘til the end of the line” - Captain America: The Winter Soldier ( @mamaskillerqueen​ w/ Steve Harrington)

“Most of the time I just want to staple things to her head” - Bridget Jones’ Diary ( @hardforbenhardy​ w/ Ben Hardy)

“We’re family. We believe in each other. That’s everything” - Bohemian Rhapsody

“Look around: this guy basically lives in a clue board” - Knives Out

“Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.” - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

"What I'm saying is--and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form--is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way." - When Harry Met Sally ( @acdeaky​ w/ Ben Hardy)

“You’re loved and have been loved. You’re one of the lucky ones” - Irreplaceable You

[ficclique]

Fic Clique hosts choices for our top fics of the decade - as featured in our Minisode from Jan 3rd. 

Brenna’s choices: 

Honorable Mentions: 

Worldwide Lonesome by loindexter (BTS) 

2018, 39k, Yoongi/Jin 

The biggest gut-punch I’ve ever felt from a character confession. The Jin of this fic has stuck with me every day since reading it. This fic examines sexuality in a way that made me feel seen & I love that.

Timeshare by Astolat (HP) 

2016, 14k, Draco/Harry 

This is sort of a stand-in for all of astolat’s drarry fic, which as a bundle are one of my top fics for the decade. They are fics that feel like instant-classics and the variety of characterizations, stories and tropes helped establish astolat as perhaps my all time favorite fic author. Timeshare won out above the others because it’s one of the fics that helped us decide to do this podcast! Thank you Timeshare! 

Top 5 picks: 

The Student Prince, by Fayjay (Merlin)

2010, 145k, Merlin/Arthur

A fic that has defined fanfiction for me. Perhaps the fic that first convinced me to love fanfiction. Something I keep coming back to and have reread numerous times. Funny, heartfelt, just different enough from the canon versions of characters. Perhaps the only University AU I will ever fully love. 

The Love Song of the North American Douchebag, by Gyzym (Star Trek RPF)

2013, 25k, Chris/Zach

If you want to hear me (and my lovely co-hosts) discuss this fic in depth, then I recommend listening to Episode 6! However, one of our listeners also submitted this as a top fic of the decade, so I’m going to add what the lovely Scout said: 

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I HOPE I CAN SWEAR. I'm not even in this fandom. The world building is just THAT good. It's one of my highlights *because* of its power to draw me in as a standalone. So much fucking talent in the transformative work community. The banter, characterization, sardonic-ness of this – international impact baby!”

Not Easily Conquered (series), by dropdeaddream & whatarefears (MCU)

2015, 117k, Steve/Bucky 

An incredibly, precise, gut-wrenching trilogy. Each part is astounding both together and apart. A devastating exploration of love and dedication. One of those fics that created a Fandom Moment. I sobbed through the entirety of part 2 when I first read it. Womb to tomb, sweetheart. 

Azoth by zeitgeistic (HP)

2013, 88k, Draco/Harry 

A stunning exploration of magic beyond JKR’s universe. A timeless coming together of two characters. A frankly genius use of a plot device (and something as simple as a school project) to foster an incredibly touching and meaningful relationship, one in which they are not able to find what they need to complete their task until they find what they need in each other.  ALCHEMY BABY! 

Honeysuckle Arch by junkshopdisco (1d) 

2015, 46k, Niall/Harry 

Perhaps the most I’ve ever related to a character in fic. The Niall of this fic lives in my heart, and I feel like reading him helps me understand myself, and everytime I come back to it I understand him better too. It’s a touching portrayal of a character coming to terms with their sexuality in a way that feels completely grounded and who is surrounded by characters who love them, even if they don’t always know how to show it. 

Nicole’s choices: 

Honorable Mentions: 

Protostellar by ninamondays 

bts, 64k, pub 2019, Namjoon/Jungkook & Taehyung/Jimin

Space, cryogenics, fate, reincarnation, class struggles, revolution, climate change, character death. Having hope is punk rock. Processing grief is a slow and ugly process. [deep breath] Have I ever felt so profoundly touched by a fic while I was reading it?

the other thing by cornfields 

hockey rpf, 16k, pub 2015, Jamie/Tyler

An absolutely unflinching look at personal accountability and internalized homophobia. What happens when your self-hatred has collateral damage? It’s about healing but it’ll fucking hurt first. Bleached out vibes. Makes texas feel very big, and the world feel very, very small. A story I’d only trust a fic author to tell.

Top 5 picks: 

Murmuration by fringecity (indiachick) 

bts, 167k, pub 2018, Yoongi/Jimin/Taehyung

Film noir/murder mystery meets gritty sci fi and superpowers. Everyone is morally gray. You Will sob about Kim Taehyung. A masterclass in plot. Felt like a trilogy all wrapped tightly into one fic. A kaleidoscope. An unfurling. This fic mesmerizes.

The River and the Deep Green Bend by liquidmeasure 

1d, 70k, pub 2016, Harry/Niall

Dark tower au, but only technically. Makes me want to believe in the multiverse. An arid western, a sideways coming of age story, an elegy. The first time I’ve ever cried because an ending was perfect.

the undiscovered country by indigostohelit

hamlet, 56k, pub 2014, Hamlet/Horatio

What else can I say about this fic. What else can I Fucking say.

(note: we discuss this fic at length during episode 5) 

All Things Shining by Askance and standbyme

spn, 142k, pub 2013, Dean/Castiel & Sam/ofc

A story about miracles. Literary as hell, with long luxuriant scenes that never drag. Masterful characterization. The thing I wanted from spn fic—connection, plot, and a fic that not only can handle the lore of the show, but is willing to expand upon it.

Who Painted the Moon Black by throughthedark

1d, 95k, pub 2013, Louis/Harry

Hunger games crossover. Doesn’t just use the other fandom for setting, but entirely inhabits it. I had to stop partway through my reread because I knew I’d have nightmares, but this fic never stops hoping. Trauma is not an ending. This fic is certain of that the whole way through.

Reid’s Choices: 

Honorable Mentions: 

songs from the ash, by explosivesky, 2017

Critical Role, Percy/Vex, Keyleth/Vax, 54k, WIP (sort of)

rockstar/movie star AU 

A fantastic example of how fic can just standalone as really good original fiction. A lovingly rendered, devastating and beautifully crafted portrait of four broken people doing their best to navigate through their lives and around one another. 

delta, by sharpa, 2019

BTS, rapline ot3, 60k

What happens when you’re a public figure who gets unwillingly outed, and two people you used to love reach out to offer you sanctuary? You make Reid cry, that’s what. 

Top 5 picks: 

Salt on the Western Wind by Saras_Girl, 2013

Harry Potter, drarry, 60k

Immediately post war, bond

It represents a lot of what I was looking for when I started really getting into Drarry fic, which was an exploration of what canon wouldn’t give me. My favorite Drarry fics have always been the ones that let them dig into their shared trauma, and while this fic isn’t the heaviest one I’ve read, I think the fact that it’s set literally hours after the Battle of Hogwarts ends lends itself well to that concept. I couldn’t have a list of the decade without a Drarry fic, tbh.

The Great Sealand Takeover, by whalehuntingboyfriends, 2015

Roosterteeth/Achievement Hunter RPF, ot6 (gavin, michael, ray, geoff, ryan, jack), 365k

FAHC

When I think about fics that set the standard for a fandom, this is one of the first ones that comes to mind. This fic means a lot to me because it was my introduction to RPF, and in addition to its intricate plot and fandom-constructed lore, also was a take on poly relationships and found families in a way I had never experienced before, with themes of belonging and a love that transcends typical convention.

The Twice-Told Tale by arysteia, 2012

Marvel, steve/tony, 15k

This fic hits a sweet spot for me where it does have some of that 2012 tower-fic nostalgia, but I also think it holds up well in terms of what I (and fandom) find so fascinating about Tony, which is all this grief and trauma that he struggles so hard to process, and the way puts himself at the center of attention to obfuscate the fact that he keeps everyone at a long arm’s length.

There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, by Shoshanah-ben-hohim, 2015

Hockey, Sid/Geno, Canon Divergent, 77k

& the whole series, including There is a Field, I’ll Meet You There, Alex Galchenyuk/Olli Maata, 131k

When I think about this fic I want to scream from every rooftop I’ve ever been on “please read this fic”. The way it weaves together details to provide a level of grounding and realism in what sounds like the most absurd concept for a fic just floors me. The empathy and compassion and fear in this fic just gets at the most tender parts of my heart, and the fact that it’s ostensibly a ship fic, and yet Sid and Geno spend nearly the entire fic with no communication, but instead are just holding on to the innate truth that they know about one another to get them through this crazy endeavour they’re on elevates the entire fic for me.

what comes after, by poppyseedheart, 2018

Roosterteeth/Achievement Hunter RPF, mavinseg (gavin, meg, michael, lindsay), 36k

Dystopia/Spy AU

When I first read this fic, I finished it and I put it down and then I spent a few days feeling like I was just sort of wandering around in a haze because every single thought was consumed by this fic. In addition to its impeccable worldbuilding and the tone work that it does with its setting, I don’t know that I had ever resonated so deeply with fic characters before. Reading this felt like someone had pried my ribcage open one by one and revealed the softest, most tender parts of me and then went “I’m going to write something that targets this.” This fic is an ode to loss and love, to mourning something that you once had and then hesitantly and clumsily opening yourself up to building something new, and recognizing that, impossibly, that new thing you built can somehow be better than what you had before. 

And I felt all of these things, I felt like my world had just been shattered by this new author I discovered… and then, somehow, I became her friend. Then through Nic I met Brenna, and now when I think about this fic I not only love it for being a work of art, but also for being representative of the thing that brought me to two of the most important people in my life, and that to me will always make it my favorite fic I’ve ever read.

[hedonssippingseagrams]

Fic Rec List

I am BIGLY procrastinating so I thought I’d spend some time compiling a fic rec list. Not comprehensive, or in any order. These are just the ones that I re-read or have made me lose my shit. Most of them are ones we’ve all read, but hey... You never know. If you don’t see one that you love on here, send me it! I may have missed some great things.

Barn Burner by campholmes - Hockey butches who hate each other turned girlfriends. There is something magic about this story for me. Maybe it’s the way it’s from Katya’s pov but I can clearly see each of Trixie’s thoughts because I’ve had them before and it’s like watching myself but through the eyes of someone who just wanted to eat Trixie’s ass this whole time. 

 They Don’t Make Em like They Do in the Coutry by yekaterina - Look, let’s just pause and say that half of this list is going to be yekaterina and campholmes but I’m not going to apologize for that. This one features a big age difference with the youngest of them being 30 (I, for one, am tired of reading about 20 somethings falling in love, she says as she fully has a fic about that) and a buzzed headed Trixie who inherited her daddy’s bee farm. Katya works at public radio and is written like a muggle version of Prof Trelawney and I’d quit my job to follow her anywhere.

Vegasboud and Down by yekaterina - Look, I’m showing some serious self control to only have this third on the list. I love this fic so much that it’s actually embarrassing. (No, really. My no drag knowledge friend got me a chocolate semi truck because when I got drunk at her house all I talked about was Big T. In my defense, chapter 2 had just dropped.) This fic features a nasty big dumb truck driver, a broken yet tough and witty erotic dancer, and an adorable rat pup. I can’t even talk about it because while I may be procrastinating, we’d be here all night.

Sandpaper by UNHhhh - Het sex? In my fic list? Yep. This shit is the hottest thing I’ve ever read. But besides that, it’s so well written, the descriptions are refreshing and vivid and sometimes I get lost in my re-reads because I’m fascinated by the small details the author has included.

Double Lines by UNHhhh - domestic pregnant trixie really gets me going. This fic gives me baby fever and I hate it for that but otherwise it’s sooo good. The little nickname in there thrills me. It all thrills me. The relationship is so strong and their fight they have in the middle just... it’s so good. I’m knocked out of words thinking about it.

We’ll take a pause from the holy trinity of authors and explore my other recommendations, but if you haven’t read every single work by those three authors then you’re wrong. 

Honey and Yarrow by katyazeroni - First, A+ for that author name. Second, this is so adorable and cute but also manages to be raunchy and realistic when you’d almost least expect it.  If every tumblr post about wanting a lesbian girlfriend got compiled into one fluffy little present featuring cacti, it’d be this. I love it.

I found a fox, caught by dogs by whenyourhairisalsoahood - This fic has actually changed me as person, no hyperbole. You’ve got yoga teacher katya (but she’s so much more than that in this story) dating a lighting tech Trixie. You’ve got accurate portrayals of past addictions, you’ve got cunty with a heart of gold Violet, you’ve got fisting. This fic has helped me find things within myself that are strong and good, it’s opened my mind to gender roles and where I’d like to ideally fall in them, it’s given me a new kink. It’s so wonderful and I cannot recommend it enough. 

Powdermill Lane by silvervelour - I’m a slut for any fic that takes place in the 90s and opens to a beach bonfire. This toys around with lost love that’s never truly lost and the idea that a small town doesn’t have to be a prison. It’s so much NOT a cliche that it’s jarring at first. I’ll admit, I read it slowly because it always went where I least expected. And I loved that. It’s beautiful and it feels like the type of fic to read while laying on the couch on a Sunday afternoon.

Take Off Your Pink Cowboy Boots by silvervelour - There are some authors that you can tell what they’ve experienced (or not) by how they write their fics. And I can tell you that silvervelour has been in a life changing kind of love. Their fics about Sashea are equally beautiful and soft and slow and calm, so go read those as well. This one is about famous Trixie and back up dancer Katya and for once it’s Katya taking care of Trixie, which is so sweet and kind. I love it, I love love. 

For All The Honest World to Feel by daremebyday - First, I don’t like non-aus very much, but this one is beyond. Second, I’m not sure I’m caught up on this because I had to stop reading because Trixie’s depression was hitting too close to home. But it’s smart and beautiful and cuts deep and I respect daremebyday so much for writing this.

Two Roads Diverged by artificiallale - 13 Going on 30 meets Trixie Mattel. This one in particular has consumed many a text message thread. It’s only 2 chapters in, but it’s one to keep your eye on.

Little Plastic Castle by artificiallale - Let’s do a little lale streak, eh? This one’s cute and sweet and can be read in a quick sitting. I’m a sucker for bakery aus and this little surprise about Katya’s identity was adorable to watch unfold. 

A Ticket to Anywhere by artificiallale - This is the good shit. I love an unreliable narrator and Katya is a plain dumbass in this. Plus there’s a subplot that really makes it worth the read. 

Girls Like Dollies   and   Wingwomen by artificiallale - If you like high school fics, here, drink your juice. If not, no biggie. I’ve stopped reading them, but I liked these when I first got into the fandom. GLD is cute because I love me a good “but I can’t be gay!” story line and WW is cute because it feels like Glee fanfic and I’m trash. 

LoveShack by mallstars - Bitch. This is it. This is my shit. Amber and I will text all damn day about these idiots. Remember that one house at college that was the party house of your crew and it sometimes feels like a liminal space when you think back on it? Welcome to this fic.  (Shout out to Billy and Ryan’s house on West End and special shout out to the bathroom across from Alex’s room where I gave my first oral.) 

A Patch of Heaven by miss_squid - Katya in a suit and Trixie in an ugly bridesmaids dress spend a weekend together. This is cotton candy cute.

When the Sun Comes Up by planecrashdreams - I wish this had finished, but I’m putting it in because it’s good stuff. Urequited (well, requited yet not acted on. Well, acted on but never mentioned again) love. It’s non-au, but I love me a good heart break every now and then.

There’s Beauty in a Work in Progress by acactusandalily - I’ll admit, I’m not sure about this one yet. I’m intrigued as hell and I love Trixie so much in it, but Katya has me a little worried, as do the tags. Guarding my heart with this until it develops, but I trust this author to give me a happy ending. 

Hello? by chantiemaya - GUYS. What was I doing putting this so low?!? A cheating fic DONE CORRECTLY?!? What. I love infidelity fics because I love seeking validation for my past mistakes but this one is great. It also consumed many a text message between Amber and I as we wondered what Joe was going to do. 

Every Other Freckle by missbinch - This reminds me of a favorite fic I read in another fandom. Trixie is Katya’s assistant, Katya is unhappily married to a senator. It’s well written and sweet and gives me butterflies. Currently on hiatus/unfinished.

Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now by trixyaas - You may be thinking to yourself, this is a lot of lesbian fic with zero historical or period pieces. You’re welcome. This is a 1915 fresh off the boat Katya working at Trixie, I’m sorry Beatrice’s daddy’s mansion. She’s about to be promoted to Trixie’s personal maid and spoiler alert Trixie is also a lesbian. What sort of hijinks could ensue?

Five Foot Three by thesemovingparts - Another college fic, this time featuring But I Can’t Be Gay Trixie Mattell, now with Added Trauma. The big part of this that makes me fall in love is that it features my girlfriend Chicago. My friend (the same one who bought the semi truck) has read this because she went to Columbia College and we both love it a lot. 

Troika by spoky - abandoned but so worth reading the first few chapters for the laugh. Guys, Trixie... and Alaska... are dating. And ask... Katya...  to top. I’m wheezin.

Weak by knox - And now we’re fully delving in to non-trixya territory. This one is violet/katya/trixie poly relationship and I’m pretty sure if you chant that phrase three times into a mirror, I appear. It’s damn good.

To the Sickle and Back by aphistas - Soulmate au, violet/katya. Takes place during season 7 filming. This fic shook me to my core and I love it to pieces. 

Strawberry Moon by vrginsacrifice - You know those movies that are so so so good until the end and you get so mad and you rewatch them to see if anything could have told you that it’d end so bad and you go online to see if there’s an alternate ending or a director’s cut? Anyway, read Strawberry Moon. Violet and Trixie compete for Katya’s love, but Katya is maybe to selfish to deserve either of them.

Something Borrowed by artificialjazz and Missbianca - THIS FIC IS MY LIFE. My life and my blood and my oxygen. Spoiled little courtney comes home to find a new wife to be Willam in her house. They end up fucking. They end up in love. The wedding is still on.

Strawberry Daquiri by missbianca - I love witney and I especially love witney in Willam’s pov. I especially love witney in Willam’s pov when they get the voice right for him. This is perfect and sweet and sad but then happy!

More Than I’m Supposed To by missbianca - one more witney because i fucking love witney okay someone needs to write more please

Possibly, Maybe by pichitinha - Coffee Shop AU with the sweetest little plot I’ve ever seen in my life. Cavities. This has suspense and drama and everything is exactly right for a fluff piece. I’m currently really behind in the thing I’m procrastinating on and even skimming this made my anxiety disappear for a minute. It’s good.

Sk8er Girl by Squeaky Pink - Look, I hate reccing things on AQ because it’s impossible to find anything, but this is adorable and I miss this author. HS au, bad girl Katya, good girl Trixie. What more could you want?

Unlikely  and Set Up by Spoky - This is Alaska/Kim Chi fic and that’s really all you need to know to get you to click. Adorable and short.

Art and Anatomy by Pink Shrooms - an oldie but a goodie. College roommates, trans Katya, pee kink, seriously good love. I can’t recall much about it as my list gets further and further, but I know it deserves to be here.

Dina’s Fun Aunt by Ellen Thwoorp - Look, this was one of the first fics I read and it still holds up to this day. It’s adorable kindergarten teacher trixie with eccentric russian katya. Trixie’s closeted, Katya is a woman in love. 

Willam Fixes Everything by Mistress - Oh, yall wanted a twist? Willam/Trixie with some eventual Trixya. Short and sweet, could read in less time than it’d take Willam to make 200 dollars, and it’ll leave you smiling. 

Welcome to the Dollhouse by fryshook - This whole thing reads like I’m high and I love it. Violet and Trixie have a weirdly tumultuous past and are hanging out when Katya sends them a video of him jerking off? I don’t know man but this thing brings me so much joy. It’s one-liner after one-liner.

Alright, back to the good stuff.

Busted Saddles by UNHhhh - Do you ever find yourself liking the aesthetics of brokeback moutain but you want lesbians? You’re in luck! There’s a moment where trixie rides a bike in yellow pedal pushers for a several miles just to bring katya a pie (and then she rides katya and eats her pie, yaknowwhatimean) (I’m getting delirious why did I take this task on.) But yeah this is a great fic I love it I love cowgirl Katya I love any fic that has a pick up truck because I’m southern trash.

Women’s Liberation is a Lesbian Plot by campholmes - Did you see Milk once in college? You’ll probably like this. All jokes aside, this is a lovely and beautiful story. You can tell the author has done her research (which can be said about everything she writes) and it’s really easy to visualize the girls and their personalities. 

The Right Allocations by campholmes - Yeeeeaaahhhh. I don’t even know. I love this song, I love this idea, I love this fic. Fucking Katya in shoulderpads borrowing a pen from Brian Firkus’s gay ass who then proceeds to have the best day of his life. How does the baseline from the song play in your head the whole time you’re reading? That’s good writing.

A Philosophical Anthology of Fucking by campholmes - First, im not just listing all of her fics here, but I am choosing my favorites to discuss. Let me live. Second, Trixie as a needy little bartender to Katya’s Judith Butler gig? It’s all I want. This phrase: “Katya is certain she’s complimented almost constantly, and she’s glad for it. She deserves it.” tells you everything you need to know and it’s such a good story.

Are You Good? by campholmes - You knew it was coming. It’s so good though! Sugar mama fic at it’s finest, with a really good fight in there at the end. Plus, some of the smut in here is insane. 

Rose Soap by campholmes - 70s lesbians. Weed. Bell bottoms. Falling in love. This list making has made me realize that I love fics with giant fights in them that bring them closer together. After I read this I bought rose scented lotion so I could smell Trixie. Hey, im gay whats up .

Glasnost by campholmes - Okay. But this one is too good. It shouldn’t even be on this list. This should be in a museum. Two Russians fall in love in the worst time in Russia, but Katya is too stubborn and selfish to be an active participant in their love. Huge fight. Yuge. I remember when it came out, I was texting up a storm about it. We took sides. (I think Trixie was right, no doubt.) I am patiently waiting for the last installment to see how the girls settle it all. Do not read with vodka or you’ll die trying to keep up with Katya.

Belle Femme by campholmes - This was one of the first fics I read in the fandom and I am so happy that it was. The first few paragraphs hit home in a way that was and still is so jarring that I had to screen shot them and send them to fellow teacher friends. 

Cactus and Lily by campholmes - remember that time Two Birds came out and we all fell debilitatingly in love with trixie? Campholmes wrote a fic about it.

Perestroika by campholmes - It’s too late in this to include reaction gifs but the blinking guy belongs here. So you’ve got little baby drags Trixie, still tight with Trannika and Kim, still pudgy and hasnt buzzed his head yet. Then you’ve got baby drags Katya who suddenly has to host Trixie in her apartment and Trixie falls in love with her HArD and then suddenly when your heart is so full you’re only at the end of chapter one?? And you get to see Trixie go to the Race and Katya transition and they like become adults with lives and each other and its all just magic.

*cracks knuckles* These next four are all just one chapter each but please listen when I tell you that it is all worth it. Just read them, subscribe to them, and when beatricemattel wants to grace us with their gifts, you’ll be rewarded.

Dinner’s Ready by yekaterina - hahaha so this was a concept that used to get mentioned right when I started following beatricemattel but I was never sure if I’d see it. Boy howdy. This is... unsatisfied housewife katya who drinks too much wine and loathes her life meets pink prim proper avon (mary kay?) lady trixie and somehow i swear to god you can look at the words, there’s no written tension but you FEEL IT because ao3 user yekaterina is not a real person who speaks and writes english like the rest of us, they are a messiah that has been granted to us

Pretty in Pink by yekaterina - You know that fuzzy pink sweater of trixie’s? This idiot wrote an entire fic about it. That’s it, really. I have the biggest heart eyes for this fic and soft sweaters and sticky little children who hide in libraries.

Here Comes Your Man by yekaterina - DILF brian. Daddy Brian with his daughter Jolene and his pink ass pants show up to a Valentines day party to meet this frumpy yet gorgeous woman and she realizes that he’s a D she’d L to F. dilf daddy brian. I can’t stop saying those words because they feel so right.

In Deep Trouble by yekaterina - Here’s a fun fact about me. I had my first wet dream after watching Whip It with ellen page. This fic is a roller derby fic. Katya seems intimidated by Trixie which is just my type of shit. 

Well, that’s all folks. It’s 1:44 am here, my alarm goes off at 5:30 and I haven’t done any of the shit I need to do before work tomorrow! Punch me in the motherfucking face, am I right? 

But I hope you find something new in this list to bring you joy. Send me things you think I’d like that aren’t on here. (Friendly Fire is on my list to read, I promise!)

[elsajeni]

Multifandom Tropefest 2018 Letter

General likes: bantering or bickering; moments of humor even in the darkest situations; pining; misunderstandings that turn out all right in the end; poly relationships; casual relationships; hurt/comfort.

Sexy likes: lots of talking during sex, both sweet and dirty; light bondage; realistic awkward or silly moments.

DNWs: rape/non-con; incest; detailed description of bodily fluids; infidelity; unrelentingly dark and grim stories (I like a glimmering of hope).

That stuff, you’ve already seen in my sign-up on AO3. Now for some fandom-specific details! I’m afraid this is a pretty long letter, but I’ve tried to give you some bold headers to make it easy to search:

Star Wars Original Trilogy

Lando Calrissian/Leia Organa/Han Solo

What can I say, I love a threesome. I like this ship best with Han and Leia as an established couple, inviting a friend or friendly ex into their bedroom as either a one-time fling or an ongoing, but casual, FWB arrangement; I’m less interested in a long-term triad. I’d also love to see a little tension between Lando and Leia as they sort out the boundaries of their respective claims on Han before ultimately deciding that, yes, there’s enough room there for them to share.

Tropes I think would really shine here: Exes -- The Missus and the Ex. Distracted Sex -- Doing Paperwork. Flirting Under Fire. Hurt/Comfort -- Everyone Needs to Give or Receive Comfort. Stranded on a Hostile Planet. Accidental Marriage -- Misunderstanding Local Marriage Customs. Undercover as Bodyguard(s)/Client.

Leia Organa/Han Solo

I just love them. Anywhere along the timeline of the relationship -- some of these tropes would be great for two prickly, stubborn people who bicker all the time and are definitely not into each other how dare you even ask, some would be perfect for established-relationship crazy-about-each-other Han and Leia. (I’m not sure I have any tropes listed that are a great fit for the sequel trilogy timeline of two people who still love each other but have kind of fallen apart, but if you think you can make it work, go for it!)

Tropes I think would work best here: Accidental Marriage -- Misunderstanding Local Marriage Customs. Distracted Sex -- Doing Paperwork. Flirting Under Fire. Falsely Accused of Being a Traitor. Undercover -- Breaking Cover to Protect Partner. Undercover as Bodyguard/Client.

Wedge Antilles/Leia Organa

This is definitely a Legends-influenced pairing for me -- I’ve always been really fond of their close friendship in the EU novels. This is another relationship that I like better as something casual, more of a FWB arrangement that grows out of that friendship or a fling that ends happily than a long-term romance.

Tropes that would really shine here: Accidental Marriage -- Misunderstanding Local Marriage Customs. Distracted Sex -- Doing Paperwork. Falsely Accused of Being a Traitor. Hurt/Comfort -- Comforter Secretly Nursing Their Own Injury. Stranded In Enemy Territory. Under the Influence -- Getting Drunk Together. Undercover as a Couple.

Wedge Antilles/Luke Skywalker

My favorites! If I have a real OTP, this is it. For this ship, I definitely am looking for a long-term romance -- if you go with one of the tropes that call for the characters not to start as a couple (accidental marriage, undercover as a couple), I’d like that to be the catalyst that makes them realize they want to stay together long-term.

Tropes I think would fit best here: Accidental Marriage -- either subtrope. Flirting Under Fire. Stranded in Enemy Territory. Stranded on a Hostile Planet. Undercover -- Breaking Cover to Protect Partner. Undercover as Bodyguard/Client. Hurt/Comfort -- Comforter Secretly Nursing Their Own Injury.

Star Wars Legends

Garik “Face” Loran/Ton Phanan

All of the ghost/undead/resurrection-related tropes I have in my list are kind of meant for these guys. Hurt me. Give me their fated romance cut short, or the even worse tragedy of Phanan somehow coming back and meeting Face’s delight with resentment at having to face life again.

Alternately: they do have a nice long run as best friends and wingmates, and I’d also be happy with them getting into shenanigans and having lots of pleasant casual sex during happier days.

Tropes I’d love to see here: Flirting Under Fire. Friends With Benefits. Ghosts -- Character Haunts Other Character. Ghosts/Undead -- Character Is Dead And Doesn’t Know It. Resurrection -- Resurrected Character Didn’t Want To Come Back. Stranded in Enemy Territory. Undercover as a Couple.

Mara Jade & Talon Karrde

I do definitely want this to stay a platonic/mentorship relationship, and not have it turn romantic or sexual. But I’m fine with any of the tropes that involve their relationship being perceived as romantic/sexual!

Tropes I think are well-suited here: Accidental Marriage -- Misunderstanding Local Marriage Traditions. Captivity -- Captured Together. Everyone Thinks They’re Together. Stranded on a Hostile Planet. Undercover -- Breaking Cover to Protect Partner. Undercover as a Couple.

Mara Jade/Luke Skywalker

The true Enemies To Friends To Lovers OTP. I love their relationship so much. I feel like a lot of these tropes could work at different points in the timeline -- some after they’re definitely allies but not exactly friends, some after they’ve realized they're meant for each other (or as they’re realizing it), a few very early on while Mara’s still insisting she plans to kill him... go nuts!

This is also one of the Legends relationships that I’m always trying to stick back into the new canon -- if you feel any of these would work well for that, go for it. (I normally don’t love versions of that where the reason Mara isn’t around in the sequel films is that she’s dead, but I do think the Ghosts tropes could potentially work, if you want to take it in that direction.)

Tropes that could shine the best here: Captivity -- Captured Together. Flirting Under Fire. Physical Fight Leading to Sex -- Sparring. Stranded in Enemy Territory. Stranded on a Hostile Planet. Sudden Realization -- Sees Loved One in Peril. Undercover as a Couple. Hurt/Comfort -- Everyone Needs to Give or Receive Comfort.

Myn Donos/Gara Petothel | Lara Notsil

Listen: I re-read Solo Command recently and spent, conservatively, 90% of it crying about these two. What really works for me is those agonizing scenes where Lara’s trying to convince Myn to stay away from her, and clearly trying to convince herself as well -- I’d love a fic that puts them in a situation where it would be so easy to give in, or a situation where she does give in and then has to try to figure out how to take it back. In short: hurt me. Do your worst.

Tropes I think would really suit here: Captivity -- Captured Together. Physical Fight Leading to Sex -- Sparring. Stranded in Enemy Territory. Sudden Realization -- Sees Loved One in Peril. Undercover -- Breaking Cover to Protect Partner. Undercover as a Couple. Hurt/Comfort -- Comforter Secretly Nursing Their Own Injury. Hurt/Comfort generally.

Wedge Antilles/Wes Janson

Let’s be honest, I’m mostly looking for more Wraith Squadron shenanigans here. Alternately, this is a pairing that lends itself to hurt/comfort -- both of these guys have more than enough canonical close calls. Or why not a bit of both? If you’re feeling ambitious, you could fix Isard’s Revenge for me by writing their reunion after they’ve both believed each other to be dead for weeks.

Tropes that would work best for this ship: Accidental Marriage -- Misunderstanding Local Marriage Customs. Captivity -- Captured Together. Flirting Under Fire. Physical Fight Leading to Sex -- Sparring. Stranded in Enemy Territory. Sudden Realization -- Sees Loved One in Peril. Undercover -- Breaking Cover to Protect Partner. Hurt/Comfort -- Comforter Secretly Nursing Their Own Injury.

The Mummy Series

This one is pretty brief -- I only requested the one ship, Ardeth Bay/Evy Carnahan O’Connell/Rick O’Connell, so of course I think all these tropes are perfect for that ship! Basically: I am a woman of simple tastes, and those tastes are adventures and threesomes, and I just want to give these guys a warm, happy, fluffy home base between adventures.

I’m equally happy with a “the entire triad gets together at once” approach or a “Rick and Evy get together, then eventually add Ardeth” approach -- you can see I’ve requested Polyamory tropes that would suit either option, and the Long-Distance Relationship and Sudden Realization tropes also kind of split along these lines (Sudden Realization where Rick and Evy are already an established couple, Long-Distance Relationship where Ardeth is a party to the relationship from the start).

Lucha Underground

I know, you didn’t offer this. No one did. I checked the Signup Summary. But I’m throwing in some notes here, just in case someone wants to write a treat for it or anything, because it’s the fandom where I have the strongest feelings about which tropes go with which ship.

Johnny Mundo/Prince Puma

I loved the arc of their friendship in season 1 -- friends, then friendly rivals, then suddenly the rivalry gets real and things go sour and everything is ruined. “Former best friends” is maybe my favorite category of wrestling rivalry. I’m into a fic that takes place at any point along that arc, and (maybe especially) a fic that brings them back together and makes it pay off in a way it never really did on the show. Friends to Enemies to Lovers -- Pining Knowingly The Whole Time is maybe the perfect trope in that respect.

Werecats is, of course, the other trope I see as specific to this ship. There are a lot of ways you could go with this and all of them are goofy as hell, but what would delight me is perhaps the goofiest of all: hot idiot Johnny Mundo tries to figure out how this big weird cat keeps getting in his apartment, why his boyfriend never answers his “help that big weird cat is here again” texts. Alternately, go a little sad with it and give me Puma, post-friend-breakup, using cat form to sneak around and get closer to Johnny than he can get in human form anymore.

Angelico/Son of Havoc/Ivelisse

I love these beautiful dysfunctional dipshits and I just want them to love each other.

All of my tropes that really require a villain -- Captivity -- Captured Together, Captivity -- One Character Captured, Mind Control -- Forced to Harm Loved One -- I’m picturing as Catrina fucking with these three.

No big surprise that Polyamory -- Two People Sharing a Third Makes Them Realize They Like Each Other Too is also intended for these guys. I’d throw a “still” or “again” in there -- make sharing Angelico the catalyst that brings Ivelisse and Havoc back together.

Protection -- Smaller Character Physically Protects Injured Bigger Character was also intended for these three. Give me a match that never happened where Ivelisse (size category: Tiny) gets to run in and intervene to protect one or both of her large idiot boyfriends.

Tropes That Suit Either Ship

A lot of these are just great, very physical tropes that seem natural for wrestling fic -- Adrenaline-Fueled Makeout, Physical Fight Leading to Sex -- Sparring, Sudden Realization -- Sees Loved One in Peril. Same goes for the Hurt/Comfort tropes -- an in-ring or training injury, a rough match or a beatdown by a rival, whatever.

For Hurt/Comfort -- Comforter is the One Who Hurt Them in particular, I’m picturing this as an in-ring injury -- either accidental (freak accident, “oh no that landed a little stiffer than I meant it to,” whatever) or regrettable but deliberate (“listen, I like you a lot and I’m very sorry about your face, but I am not about to go around losing matches just because the alternative is to kick your ass”).

Pining -- While Trying to be Friends-With-Benefits also seems like it would suit either ship. I’d like a happy ending for it.