#just three weirdos a lil baby and the lil baby’s puppy dog

[harvestmoth]

one of the groups of all time that doesnt actually exist

[onmyyan]

Hi its me again. I love your writing and the fact that there isn't as much abuse like there is in others. It reminds me of old yandere stories were it was genuine lovesickness. Anyway, how do you think jjba yanderes would react to a darling that is taller and more muscular than them by quite a bit. You can do whoever you like I don't mind.

A/N: Omg ily🥺 it means a lot you said all that because I really love this genre it’s my comfort trope anyway thank you for the request n I hope ya like it!! Kira should be a trigger warning in an of itself but dw he’s just weird, not mean. Mentions of his past ‘girlfriends’, a curse word or two, lil suggestive in someplace’s Mista murks a few people, tw//gun violence

Characters: Pt2 Joseph, Josuke, Kira, Mista

Joseph was used to looking down on people, standing at a proud 6’5” he was literally and figuratively knocked on his ass when he’d first laid eyes on you, his immediate thought was you were a forgotten pillarman coming from nowhere to get revenge for your masters only to quickly realize you were just a stallion. You were strong enough to put him on his back after one too many cheeky comments. Unafraid to speak your mind and keep him in check, You would stare down at him with that mind melting smirk, all too aware of his frustrations, you assumed he was just being a man, ashamed to be outclassed by someone other than himself, oh honey how wrong you were. You enjoyed teasing the behemoth of a man as no one else really could, at least not as well as you did, throughout your little jabs and snark he always had a retort, a response on the tip of his tongue, eager to do this dance of yours until one of you broke, to you he was a way too cocky dangerously self assured pretty boy who was entertainingly easy to rile up, but to Joseph, you were his everything. Someone he could proudly take home to Granny Erina once he’d finally tamed you. He had a plan, a three step plan to steal your heart just as you’d done his, and this little game of who could annoy the other the most was just step 1. “It’s been fun JoJo but you’re gonna have to find someone else to bother.” You’d jokingly said one day out of the blue, an odd friendship had formed through the month you’d been in town and it felt wrong to leave without notice, an act of kindness you’d learn to regret. “Is this one of your famous jokes (Y/n)? Not so funny to play with a mans heart like that I nearly believed you.” He finished with a scoff, his signature smirk not reaching his eyes. “It’s true Joseph, my flight leaves tomorrow, I didn’t wanna leave without saying goodbye, because as much as we fuck around you’re pretty fun to hang out with.” Your sincerity almost made him feel bad about rushing the next few steps of his plan, he’d have to cram months of planning into a night but he’d accomplished more with less time on his side. He huffed, his grin stretched wide across his handsome features. “Then we outta make tonight count eh?” A thick arm was tossed around your neck, you had to bend awkwardly for this to be possible much to your amusement. “Okay you weirdo, whatever you say.” You let him lead you around town with a grin, unaware you’d be missing that plane, and any other one you tried to take without him.

Josuke watched you eat with the dopiest grin on his face, he’d spent an extra hour in the mirror this morning in preparation for your first official date! Well you didn’t exactly know it it was a date and Okayasu was eating rather messily beside you two but still! You’d actually agreed to come to Toni’s with him! You’d been an enigma since you transferred to the bizarre town, choosing to keep to yourself, and despite the intimidating height and mass you possessed, he saw through your act in seconds. There was a huge softie under all that muscle, he’d watched you enough to know this as a fact, you were a gem and he was intent on showing you his appreciation and adoration for the rest of his days, a vow he’d silently taken the day you’d stolen his heart, the moment was brief in reality but it lasted forever in his mind, you smiled at him in passing, he could feel time slow down, everyone around you faded in the background, a backdrop to the beginning of your story. He could imagine telling your kids how you’d met, something about the way you’d stare down at him, eyes sharp and attentive, like you truly listened when people spoke, your laugh was loud when it was real and every time he heard it he felt 10 years added to his lifespan. At the same time that icky feeling at another person making you laugh was conflicting, he’d never been in love before but he suddenly understood why his mom had never given up on his dad, love was weird but he wouldn’t give it up for anything. You’d accidentally snapped your chopsticks laughing too hard at a joke he’d tossed out, your face scrunched in embarrassment before chuckling at yourself and switching to a fork, his stand came out on its own, pocketing the shards to fix later, a new item for his ever growing collection, what a cute little memento from your first date! His thoughts swirled happily with the stories you’d be telling your kids. Thankfully neither of you noticed his little pickpocket moment, dangerous plans forming as he stared at you with those misleadingly soft puppy dog eyes.

Kira could die in this moment, happily I might add, as your firm but soft hand was wrapped oh so deliciously around his throat threatening to crush it with ease at the slightest movement. He’d been watching you for a while now, the longest he’d ever spent on someone he didn’t plan to kill, it become sort of hobby he’d picked up recently, the morally upsetting activity bringing peace to his day to day, usually he used his stand to carefully observe your routine, eager to learn all he could about his future spouses likes and desires, but he was getting greedy. Of course he could always introduce himself but he resisted, knowing there was a time and place to get exactly what he wanted. He liked to think he knew everything about you by now, your favorite color, how you liked your coffee, your love for cats, but he didn’t anticipate this. You were much more observant than he’d given you credit for, while you couldn’t see his stand you could sense yourself being watched, and seeing the large blonde lurking indiscriminately in the crowds throughout the day was enough to set you off. So you trailed off into the less crowded parts of town quickly entering an alleyway, he followed in pure confusion only to be roughly slammed into the wall, his stand came out on reflex but simply stared at his attacker, it seemed almost confused as what to do. “Why the hell are you following me pretty boy?” His eyes rolled to the back of his head at the feel of your fingers tightening, god he’d never felt this rush of exhilaration, none of his past ‘girlfriends’ could pull such an illicit reaction from him with a simple touch. When he didn’t answer you simply scoffed and tossed him aside like it was nothing. You left with a threat to stay out of your sight, yet all he could do was smile, the faint imprint of your fingers burned in his skin deliciously, how lucky could one man get?

Mista observed you with hungry eyes. His stare was unapologetically locked on your form. He made no intention to hide his attraction for you. The day you’d joined Buccarati’s crew was the day his world flipped. He assumed his new teammate would be no one to fuck with based on what Bruno told him about your stand, but when you walked in? Needing to bend down slightly just to enter the doorway had him sweating in his seat. He didn’t know what to say as he watched you happily interact with his fellow teammates, immediately you blended with the group, but all that was running through his mind were all the fun things you could do with those muscles. He usually stayed silent around you, not out of dislike as one would assume from his piercing gaze, but fear of accidentally voicing one of those nasty thoughts kept him quiet. You didn’t seem to mind though, always including him in the conversation, you even understood his very valid fear of that dreaded number! How could god plop such a perfect person in his lap and expect him to not do anything about it? Alas, Bruno had specifically told them not to make you uncomfortable with any flirting so he bit his tongue. Your aura was calming, a contrast to your powerful stand, speaking of, he couldn’t get his under control. Whenever they could Sex Pistols was out and all over you. They climbed and clamored for your attention, thankfully you didn’t seem to mind, always entertained their antics when you could, even giving each one a small peck when they wouldn’t let you leave for a mission without Mista, to say he was done for was an understatement, it took one mission going foul for his resistance to snap. His stand moved faster than it ever had, piercing the skulls of the idiots who brought you pain. He left the last one slowly bleeding out kneeling down to wipe the matted hair from your forehead, “You okay baby? Don’t worry honey I’ll make the bastard hurt.” He spoke not breaking eye contact, his hand pointed behind him, grip steady as he unloaded in the poor fool who thought it was a good idea to make you bleed, the wound was small, not even deep enough to trouble Giorno but that didn’t matter to Guido, any slight against you was disrespecting the future parent of his children, and what kind of man would he be if he didn’t defend your honor?

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

hyunjin x reader | part four of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy, lots of cursing (i have a streak), birth, n kkami bein a meanie

↬ notes; ok this might be my fav in the series | 1.5k wc

u and hyunjin actually were broken up when u found out about the pregnancy

u waited (stalled fuck off) until five months since u really didnt know what to do with the news

u kinda feel like ur insane, playing your ex-boyfriends music constantly and watching interviews of him but it kept u company and gave u a reminder that u still needed to tell him

u got this rly cute popped out bump, just rly kinda like those movies but u know its gonna get bigger and grow to have stretch marks

one day ur just sitting on the sofa of your apartment n the next thing u know ur door is being opened and hyunjin is barging in

ofc ur in a sports bras and a pair of basketball shorts cause they r comfortable and shirts r overrated

ur there with set out marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate, as well as peppermint sticks on the side just eating them together

ur in the middle of eating a smore u had put together

u swallow ur smore slowly, sucking on ur fingertips n just staring at him

“oh my fucking god- and it’s true?” 

ur honestly so confused until u remember u dont have on a shirt n ur bump is showing

ur standing up in a millisecond, hyunjin getting more upset by the second just looking at u

“why— how? how could you just not tell me?”

baby boy has those angry tears and the strained voice hes just so upset and the guilt is setting in for u

“i’m five and a half months.” 

fuck hormones cause next thing u know ur crying and u cant do anything to make it stop

u guys really can’t be mad at each-other, ur relationship was filled with nothing but kindness and it ended only because u two felt it was going no where

ofc u two argued about it and in the end hyunjin was the one who walked out

“we can try again. you can move back in right? we can stay together and put back the pieces.”

u agreed n by the next morning he was there to help u pack ur things up n take them back to his place

he ends up seeing the box of baby stuff, with unopened bottle packages and sonograms, as well as a disc that was labelled as your 3D ultrasound

u find him just sitting there, staring at the black and white sonogram with tears freely falling down his cheeks

he doesn't even notice u next to him until ur thumb swipes the tear away from his cheek

u two just smile at each-other, his arm wrapping around u n pulling u in to his side

“that’s our baby?” he asks, not removing his eyes from the little white blob that barely was the size of a jaw breaker n u just whispered, “yea, it is.”

ur relationship doesn’t exactly get back into what it was at first,,

ur both nervous and cautious around each other

at first he insists he can just sleep on the couch so u can take his bed but u insist u both can sleep together

hyunjin doesn’t mean to but he somehow always winds up with his arm around u n ur bump every morning

he will talk to the bump n tell them how they r gonna have the best mommy n daddy 🥺

“did u know ur mommy is one of my favorite people to be with? i know ur gonna hear the story one day of how we became parents but i have always loved her, even when we weren’t together i loved your mommy. i hope one day you will love someone as much as i love your mommy, i hope you get your mommy’s personality bub.”

ur fake sleeping wbk but u dont move so u can let him talk

around eight months u two are way more comfortable n are getting closer

he lets u borrow his clothes because u used to do that even when u weren’t pregnant and he figured they were more comfortable & better looking than ur maternity outfits 😣

he rly goes the whole nine yards, buying anything u can think of for the baby n he’ll sometimes wake u up from ur sleep (if he’s rly excited) just so he can show u what he bought

hyunjin is in love with u and kkami cuddling together

also when ur due date got closer u both def went out for walks with kkami or played in the dog park with kkami

(u couldn’t really be as active as hyunjin but it was fine with u just watching)

something within hyunjin changes n he just gets so shy n flustered around u ^.^

he’s crushing so hard on u and u can guess he is but then again u two were just living together for the pregnancy

it’s probably three in the morning n hyunjin had just came home

ofc u were crying

a rly cute dog ad was playing with a baby in it as well :(

u explain n hiccup while doing so

hes so s o f t at this moment

he presses a soft kiss to ur lips n ur like wow thats um—

he doesn’t even care how shocked u r this man goes back in for more kisses

“i want you, i wanna be a real family. i wanna one day marry you, have more babies or get other dogs, that’s all i’ve ever wanted since the day we met.”

enywayz u two r dating,, a g a i n

spooning half of the time during ur last few weeks of pregnancy, but the boys come over frequently n for some reason jeongin is always bringing presents?? its cute but u guys RLY didn’t need anymore toys for the baby

u guys r just cuddling n he’s got one hand on ur bump before ur like

“ow,, fuck that hurt.”

“hey don’t swear around the baby!”

u just suppose it’s a hard kick since the baby had been active a lot recently n the pains had been occurring often

kkami is very cuddly today n he’s giving u kisses

hyunjin lowkey jealous cause kkami doesn’t ever give him kisses like that  ⸜( ⌓̈ )⸝

yall ever seen the thing where dogs know pregnant people the best n they can like SENSE something goin on??

well kkami was on it 

baby kkami is sniffing u n just restless in ur lap n its a lil weird cause kkami is ALWAYS sleeping or sitting still cause kkami has turned as lazy as u n hyunjin

u have this feeling but instead u just tell hyunjin u gotta pee :P

newsflash: u didnt n as soon as u got up, boom, theres ur water breaking and running down ur leg

“it feels gross.”

ur literally whining about ur pants while a baby is coming out of ur ... hooha 😳 n hyunjin is freaking out

he’s rushing around the rooms n making sure everything is in the bag and nothing gets left behind

last thing on his mind is changing ur clothes

though he does, putting u in his baggy sweatshirt and a pair of his shorts

hes freaking out lets be honest the thought of u giving birth is fuckin scary

hyunjin is so out of it and spaced out while ur cool n talking normally with pauses everytime theres a contraction

“aish, why are you so worried? i’m the one that should be worried!!”

ur not cool after an u hit the four hours in labor mark

u do not want to be t o u c h e d

touching u is off limits ur so sweaty n ur body feels like its crumbling u cannot deal with someone holding ur hand or holding u

hyunjin just sits there

hes kinda in a different realm while he stares at the clock on the wall

hes so ready to meet the baby but apparently ur body was exactly 4 centimetres not ready :(

hes just trying to distract u by talking with the boys n his other friends, all of the face timing to talk to the parents to be 🥺

yall r wrapping up a call with jeongin when u have the built up pressure feeling again

he doesn’t even explain to jeongin hes so quickly to hang up n ask u whats wrong

“i— it feels like i have to push.”

he’s already pressing the pretty lil white button on ur bed for the nurses n doctors

they confirm that u indeed r ready to push and that the baby is in position

hyunjin trying to take a peek WHAT A WEIRDO

yall hearing ur baby has a head full of hair and u just give hyunjin this look

like WTF no wonder why u had so much heartburn its because of ur fuckin rapunzel baby daddy

here comes the cries, loud n u just heard the quietest sob from beside u which was hyunjin

“it’s a baby boy, congrats!!”

his lil puppy baby boy 🥺

he had a lil pout like his daddy n his brown locks on top of his head

it was kinda creepy how similar they looked

anyways u dont care ur lil boy is p e r f e c t and nobody could dare tell yall different

u would disagree anyways because thats ur lil pouty baby boy n hes so cute 🥺

“we got a pretty good break-up story right? one for the books.”

he’s got baby boy in his arms bundled up but that doesn’t stop u from smacking his arm before kissing him quickly

“yea, we do.”

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[taylorfiction]

Wallflower

Part one of an AU that i hope you’ll enjoy? let me know? i loved writing this. Be patient with me, i have plans to make the next part slightly more interesting? i understand that it’s a little dull but think of it as a prologue. Also it may take time as im in a weird place with writing atm x

-

‘She was nineteen, with a baby on the way, on the East side of the city she was working every day, cleaning dishes in the evening, she could barely stay awake, she was clinging to the feeling that her luck was going to change. And, across town she would take the bus at night to, a one-bedroom apartment and when she turned on the light, she would sit down at the table, tell herself that it’s alright. She was waiting on the day she hoped her baby would arrive. She’d never be alone, have someone to hold, and, when nights were cold, she’d say, “the world’s not perfect but it’s not that bad, if we got each other and that’s all we have, I will be your mother and I’ll hold your hand – you should know I’ll be there for you. And the world’s not perfect and the world’s not kind, if we have each other then we’ll both be fine, I will be your mother and I’ll hold your hand – you should know I’ll be there for you.” ‘ If We Have Each Other – Alec Benjamin

-

‘Hey sweetie, how was your day?’ I kneel down as I greet the little girl in front of me, her toothy grin already telling me her day was as good as ever.

‘It was good, we did colouring and I made this for you,’ Lilly smiles as she hands me what she had been holding so tightly onto. It was a butterfly. It was a pink and purple butterfly that I already knew would be attached to the fridge later this evening with all the other lovely pieces of art my daughter had made for me at school.

I stand up again and hold my hand out for her to take, walking towards Lilly’s teacher for a brief chat, ‘Just checking she wasn’t any trouble today? I know she can get excited sometimes, can’t you chicken?’ Lilly giggles as I ask her, swinging and hanging off my arm, my eyes flick back to her teacher, Miss Miller, and we both smile.

‘Taylor you know Lilly is always a dream, she’s always making the other kids smile, I don’t know how you managed to make such a perfect child on your own at your age’ my heart warms as I hear Miss Miller gush about my pride and joy. I squeeze Lilly’s hand and smile down at her as she wriggles around my legs, not listening to this adult conversation.

‘My Mum has helped a lot aha, Grandma has dinner with us two times a week, doesn’t she?’ I look down at my daughter and I squeeze her hand slightly to get her attention, she nods eagerly at her teacher, that cheeky smile still plastered on her face.

‘Anyway, thank you for looking after her, I’m gonna take her home now before she pulls my arm off’ we both laugh at my joke before Lilly drags me away, excited to to get home to her dolls, we wander through the corridors of her small school and begin the walk back to our apartment.

We walk the five minutes before we reach our building, racing up the stairs to see who could get to the front door first; ending in my wheezing and Lilly’s fits of giggles. I unlock the door and smile as she slips her shoes and coat off and instantly runs into her room to find her dolls before she sits on the sofa with them, fully immersed in her own little story.

I place the coloured-in-butterfly on the fridge under the magnet of the Statue of Liberty, we were in New York after all, and admire all the other colourings and paintings that were there, it was like a collage of everything Lilly.

My phone buzzes and I smile as I see the icon telling me who is calling ‘Hey Gi, what’s up?’ I ask one of my best friend’s, remembering that she was meant to come over later.

‘We still good for tonight? I’ll come at 6?’ she asks, apparently reading my mind with her question.

‘Yes, Lilly is very excited to see you, as normal’ I laugh, remembering how bouncy Lilly was when I told her Gigi was coming for dinner. She loved Gigi. Lilly would never admit it to anyone but I knew she was her favourite out of my three best friends; Gigi, Karlie and Martha.

‘It’s 5 now so that gives me an hour to make dinner, I think we’re good,’ I say as I start to move around the kitchen getting out the tomato sauce from the freezer from when I made too much last time we had it.

She laughs down the line before we say our goodbyes and she hangs up. As the sauce defrosts slightly I realise I’m still in my work clothes and I should probably get out of them before Gi gets here, I guess I was in such a rush to start dinner and get ready for Gi coming round that I completely forgot about changing.

I nip into my bedroom freeing myself of my office attire and slipping into my sweats and a tee, knowing that Gi will probably be in the same kind of outfit and won’t care, the only difference is that she will still look stunningly beautiful.

I walk back over to the kitchen and smile as I see that Lilly is still fully concentrated on the dolls in front of her, ‘Hey Lils, remember Aunty Gi is coming round are you gonna get changed?’ I ask her, snapping her attention from the toys in front of her.

She giggles, clearly happy Gigi was coming round, we ended up calling all of my friends Aunty because they were so close to Lilly and I, it was as though we were all related. ‘Okay, what’s for dinner?’ she asks chirpily, getting up from the sofa but pausing before she ran into her room again.

‘Bolognaise, is that okay sugar?’ I respond, knowing full well that she loves Bolognaise and would eat it any or every day of the week. She nods and bounds into her pink room to get dressed. I mix the mince into the tomato sauce, smiling as I think about how lucky I am to get an angelic daughter like Lilly who was only a hassle at bed time because she didn’t want to leave me.

I used to feel bad that Lilly didn’t have a father figure to look up to. I used to feel bad that I didn’t go out and find who he was and make him help bring her up but then I remembered I probably didn’t want someone who wasn’t even there when I woke up after that one-night stand and probably would never be there for either of us. Pregnant after a one-night stand. And that’s when I get judged. I remember as a child wanting a fairy-tale romance. Look where that got me.

I put the Bolognaise sauce in a pan and let it simmer, knowing Gigi would be here in ten minutes and the pasta would only take about five meaning it would be ready the instant she got here. At that point my wild four-and-a-half-year-old came bounding out of her room, some striped leggings and a Disney t-shirt on.

‘Can I help? Can I help? Can I help?’ she skips towards me with a huge smile on her face and I know that I have to give her a job to do otherwise she’ll sulk. ‘Hmm can you get three bowls out and three sets of knives and forks for all of us sweetie?’ I smile back at her, hoping one day I would actually be able to ask her to stir the sauce without worrying if she’d burn herself.

I place the Pasta in the pan and turn back to watch my daughter counting out three of each object, placing the cutlery on the table while leaving the bowls up there so I could serve it easier later.

There is a knock on the door and an instant squeal comes out of Lilly’s mouth as she realises who it is, she bounds over and opens it for her Aunty Gi before flinging herself into my best friend’s arms.

Gi bends down to Lilly’s height in order to give her a proper hug, ‘Hi Lils, how’s my favourite four-year-old?’ she says into my daughter’s shoulder, making me smile and Lilly giggle.

‘Im the only four-year-old you know Aunty Gi’ Lilly pulls away and gives her that sassy-four-year-old-look that I always tell her off for. We all laugh before Gi pulls Lilly closer to her and begins tickling her, making her squeal.

‘Well then you must be my favourite, mustn’t you?’ Gigi continues to tickle her before Lilly begins squealing at her to stop in between her wild fits of laughter. Lilly nods eagerly at her ‘Aunt’s’ question after the attack was over and hugs my best friend again before running over to where she had left her dolls on the sofa.

‘Hey weirdo’ Gigi walks over to me now and we hug briefly, pulling away after a good squeeze, ‘Oh it smells so good, gimme food,’ she acts her grabby hands at the food still simmering which was probably done now.

I pick up one of the pieces of pasta before encouraging Gigi to open her mouth so she could taste it, ‘Done?’ I ask as she chews and she nods eagerly making me laugh a little. I pick up the pan and wander over to where the bowls are; two larger bowls and a smaller pink one for Lilly.

‘Sweetie, dinner’s ready,’ I raise my voice slightly so Lilly can hear me and she instantly hops off the sofa and bounds across the small distance between the kitchen table and the counter. It was only a small apartment after all. I can’t afford anything bigger on the salary of a sales assistant.

After dishing out the three meals me and Gi took them to the table along with three glasses of water, the wine would be for after Lils was asleep. We chatted about what Lilly did at school that day and the butterfly she had coloured in for me and we talked about when we were seeing Aunty Gi next. It was comforting to be around some of my favourite people. It was peaceful.

By the time we had finished eating and had been chatting for a little while it was 7 pm and Lilly was yawning - I could tell she was tired even if she didn’t want to go to sleep, ‘C’mon missy I saw that yawn, lets get you to bed,’ I stood up, collecting the plates and placing them on the side before offering my hand to the little girl still sat at the table.

‘But Aunty Gi is here, can I stay up? Please?’ I could see her puppy dog eyes and it took so much of me to shake my head at her, I knew she didn’t want to but I also knew how tired she would be tomorrow if she didn’t.

‘Say goodnight to Aunty Gi, because if you don’t sleep now you won’t be able to get up in the morning,’ I raise my eyebrows at her and I hear her dramatically huff before slipping off her chair and giving my best friend a hug and a kiss on the cheek goodnight.

She took my hand and we wander towards her bedroom where I help her get ready for bed and give her a kiss goodnight, promising to read her a story tomorrow. ‘Goodnight, sweet dreams angel,’ I whisper into her room as I shut the door part way and let her sleep.

‘If I ever have kids I want one like her,’ Gigi says with a smile on her face following me across the room towards where the wine is. I pour us both a glass of red wine and we chink our glasses before wandering towards the sofa to chat, ‘You’re twenty-three how in hell did you raise that girl to be so lovely? She asked.

‘She can be chaos at times so be careful what you wish for and you guys and my Mum helped a lot,’ we both laugh at this in agreement before a comfortable silence overtook us and we sipped at our wine, occasionally swirling it around the glass.

I knew It was coming the second she stepped over my threshold it was just a matter of when, ‘So, met anyone interesting recently?’ she asks not-so-subtly, I scoff and roll my eyes at her. I don’t know why she asks when she knows I haven’t.

‘Do I look like I’ve met some interesting recently?’ I use her words in my response, raising my eyebrows to encourage her to answer so I can hear her excuse for asking me when she was really telling me to get out more and to get a life.

Gi smiled and took a sip of her drink, ‘I was just wondering because me and the others are going out Sunday and we want you to come,’ her offer warms my heart but the four-year-old kid asleep in her bedroom reminds me I can’t.

‘What about Lil-‘ I start before she cuts me off.

‘Ask your mum to mind Lily because you will come out with us and you will have fun,’ I try to protest that I’m so out of practice I’d be a let down but she interrupts me before I can start, ‘When was the last time you went out and got drunk? Eh?’

I sigh, trying to remember, ‘last year? When Lilly spent a week at Mum’s? I think?’ I answer skeptically and I see Gi’s unimpressed expression on her face.

In summary: I have no choice.