#k8morgan DateK8Blog

[schroedingersk8]

It appears that you have a justifiably narrow set of criteria for what you consider to be an eligible male. Where do you meet one that checks all those boxes? I'm guessing that it might be, if not impossible, a low probability occurrence.

Answering as Mistress K8 Morgan, k8morgan.com.

Well, hello there! And thank you very much for such a wonderful question – it was delightful to read, entertaining to think about, and I suspect will be quite enjoyable to answer, too! But enough of compliments – let’s commence the square dancing, shall we?

First, I do not think mine is a narrow set of criteria: a single child-free animal loving cultured educated and intelligent adult male who has a grip on his own life and takes pride in personal appearance? I do not know how old you are, and it could well be an age thing, but I still belong to a generation where that is pretty much the basic line of expectations of an adult male in his mid 30es to late 40es, without particularly prominent mental, emotional or physical issues and of intellectual, rather than physical, inclinations…

Because what exactly would be the alternative? A non-functioning alcoholic or an addict who would try to sell my whips on eBay? A polygamist philanderer (not to be confused with a philanthropist!) afraid of cello music? Somebody who cannot form a sentence that goes beyond “send pics bobs and vagene” and still lives in his mom’s basement? These here are funny stereotypes, but it is important – VERY important – that we all remind ourselves that they are NOT the vast majority of people. 

Being kind to animals, being able to sort own sh*t out, showing interest in something beyond one’s reproductive organs while showering regularly are NOT some Batman super-powers!!! That IS what the vast majority of people I know are like, and it is the basic level of expectations!  

And people who meet those standards are not some pink unicorns you can only ever see in books, they are the guys you meet daily in the office, on the tube, at restaurants, galleries, musea… Heck, from the when I still lived in London, you could walk into Canary Wharf’s Brown’s, All Bar One or that swanky 2-storey bar that used to be in Cabot square at 7 pm on any given Thursday – and you would meet a dozen of eligible guys, mostly solvent, sharply dressed, with great to excellent education, professionally obliged to know current events, market trends and basic geopolitics, and most importantly – very eager to prove themselves to the extend of committing to like cats, dislike children and appreciate classical music! 

I have met some of my “eligible” stock there, and I am still friends with most.  And let’s face it, I have been married twice, so I did manage to find at least two unicorns, no? Obviously, the standards are not that outlandish…not outlandish enough, ha! Yes, I am no longer 22 years old – but luckily, neither are they! The places change, but hearts still beat the same, and now that we are all grown up, they come with less associated drama.

These days I meet the guys who fit the bill perfectly, I’d say, a few times a year. That is, every year I meet 5 to 8 guys at whom I look and think, after a chat, that “yup, totally could.” On top of that I already KNOW guys who fit my standards. I meet or have met most of them through my line of work, as clients or as kinky bystanders, and they are yet another reason I am so grateful to have chosen doing what I do for work. I maintain the high standard of my surrounding by not being on ANY dating apps at all. I’d rather live in the world where I know ten guys who meet all my standards than the world where I know ten thousand guys who do not. A lot, if not most, of my friends fit my standards… “Finding” a good match has never been the issue – to the extend that up until I got your question I didn’t even realise I had to “look for them”!

The “final frontier” of this battle for my “hand in marriage” was never going to be “finding a match for standards” – but it is most likely to be convincing myself that the trouble of getting into a relationship is worth it, at all.

I am not a teenage girl who cries at Ed Sheeran songs. I am of a generation that, aside from having these “basic incredibly high expectations” also asks themselves a number of questions before jumping into actions. A simple set, “well, what’s that there for, then?” and “Why would I?” usually stops most of ‘totally could’ from turning into ‘will.’

“Because cats need a father!” is a humorous, yet invalid reason. And until I find a valid reason – I shall be standing proudly alone! 

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