#kate is still dreadfully bad though

[damnitiloveyou]

I will say again, Neal Caffrey is pure serotonin. I've had a lousy week. He made me smile.

[pixelsbichoice]

Ranking Choices series by how Gay they are

A review no one asked for but an important one nonetheless

EDIT: Updated for latest books 6/29/19

The Freshman - While Zack, Kaitlyn, Becca, and Zig make this a sweet Gay Squad, the book has prominent bi-erasure if you date a man and forces you to deal with toxic Het Drama for multiple books that leaves you begging for the sweet release of diamond death to never come - 4/10 Gay but at what cost

The Crown and the Flame - Kenna is a bisexual Queen, but the fact that they don't give Dom a male li until awkwardly at the very end is tragic - 5/10 Could be gayer

Most Wanted - Look Sam is a Lesbian Icon(tm) but the narrative pushes for Sam and Dave - 3/10 Pretty Het

Rules of Engagement - Forces the MC to be with a man, doesn't give Party Twin a female li until the third book, and older brother's het drama is insufferable - 2/10 Some gay but too much straight to try

Endless Summer - MC can be a guy or a girl. Pretty gay, but the female lis are not treated as well as the male ones, also there are a lot of straight couples and the fact that Pirate Queen Yvonne ends up with a man? Tragic(tm) - 5/10 gay but could be gayer

LoveHacks - Points for the bi black man and the lesbians, but the first book paywalls its only female li to shit, only has the MC date men, and has Brooke end up with a man instead of Seerena - 3/10 Gay but too Het to handle

The Haunting of Braidwood Manor - Nothing but love a respect for my lesbian ghost girlfriend, but you have to pay to stay together (but it is only 17 diamonds and that is a bargain these days) - 8/10 Lots of lesbian love but at a cost

The Royal Romance - Largely forced to spend time with a man, has only one female li even though Olivia is literally right there, and has Penelope get with Kiara's brother even though Kiara is literally right there - 3/10 Very Het

Hero - MC can be a guy or a girl. Kenji is a BIcon but it takes a while to meet the only female li, also the Poppy and Dax het drama is too much - 6/10 Decently gay and has potential

High School Story - MC can be a guy or a girl. Besides the fact that we have to deal with the Het Tragedy that are Brian, Max, Kara, the dumb Autumn love triangle, and what the ever loving fuck is that set up your Dad with Emma's Mom nonsense, these books give a lot of LGBT+ rep - 7/10 Gen Z is the Gayest Gen

It Lives in the Woods - MC can be a guy or a girl. Gay Icon right here, we stan our Trans King(tm) King Kang, Ava and Stacy are female li legends, Lily is our beautiful Lesbian Queen, nothing like the raw gay energy of swinging a barbed wire bat at the undead - 15/10 GAY ICON

Home for the Holidays - One female LI, but at what cost? Can't play as a guy and forced to have dated one (1) man. Don't even get me started on Nick Peralta - 1/10 Literally ever Het Hallmark Christmas movie ever so RUN

Red Carpet Diaries - It feels like it should be pretty gay between the BIcon that is Seth, the Lesbian Legend that is Teja, and the absolute QUEEN that is Victoria, but man does it throw that all away to be SUPER FREAKING STRAIGHT between Matt and Hunt and paywalling the fuck out of Victoria - 3/10 RIP Gay potential

Perfect Match - MC can be a guy or a girl. Can choose to have your perfect match be a guy or a girl. A beautiful array of lis to choose from and they can all be yours because PB said Polyamory Rights! Even though there is some Het stuff with Nadia and Steve, it is actually tolerable. The President can also be a black lesbian and that's the America I want to live in - 10/10 Living my best gay thot life

Bloodbound - Even love interests whom? Sure you get two wonderful female love interests, Lily and the ultimate BI QUEEN Kamilah, but forget ever hanging out with them. This is the JAX AND ADRIAN SHOW ONLY BABEEE - 4/10 Not even a cheap Priya scene can help, PB said fuck wlw

Veil of Secrets - MC can be a guy or a girl. Ms. Harlenay is a Lesbian icon. Kate is a true BI disaster and the fact that we can only get with her romantically at the end of the book is the Biggest Tragedy of Choices - 6/10 It's fun and gay until you die alone bc you don't have enough diamonds

America's Most Eligible - MC can be a guy or a girl. You can thot it up and kiss so many people, Mackenzie is the only female li you can hang out with most of the time and there was one weird scene where Adam and Derek were super "no homo"??? - 6/10 Gay potential but oof the Het

Desire & Decorum - Only one female li, but she is Amazing. Mr. Chambers gay ass is the real MVP. God bless our non-homophobic gay ally of a dad (rip). But still this book got a lot of Het nonsense bc of the time period - 4/10 Press F to pay respect to our gay ancestors

Across The Void - MC can be a guy or a girl. Even number of lis with even screen time and your siblings can be gay too if they weren't so annoying and stealing your screen time - 7/10 Gay but it's hard to read

Big Sky Country - MC can be a guy or a girl. If you are a wlw, there is a lot of Het nonsense and it is hard to be with the female lis. If you are a mlm, ooh boy is this book Really Gay. Like literally every guy wants your city dick. Still there is some Het stuff - 6/10 Average; Life is what you Gay it

High School Story: Class Act - MC can be a guy or a girl. You can choose the gender of the li you are forced to have a crush on so that is nice. If you play as a guy your twin can be a Lesbian Icon and Erin can like girls but if you play as a girl it's like super het. Don't even get me started on Natalie and Clint - 6/10 Gay but oof

It Lives Beneath - MC can be a guy or a girl. Great even bunch of lis and our gay little brother is the most wholesome thing - 8/10 Good gay content minus you know all the Gore and Death

The Elementalists - MC can be a guy or a girl. Let’s hear it for Ace rep! Except the imbalance of li scenes and how Beckett is constantly forced onto you continues to put this book on thin ice, especially with the lack of flirting options for wlw - 5/10 Gay but lesbian struggles

A Courtesan of Rome -  Forced to kiss men. Female characters treated like shit. Sabina stans deserved better. But Gay brother can get his happy gay romance. Caesar/Cleopatra/MC threesome said bi rights. Parents are the biggest gay allies. The biggest disappointment is the untapped potential - 3.5/10 RIP to anyone who hoped to romance Cleopatra

The Heist: Monaco - MC can be a guy or a girl. Allows you to choose gender of one your lis. Has the potential to have 3 female lis who are all iconic. But makes you pay for not 1 but 2 women crew members so having an all women crew is a struggle - 8/10 Let's go Lesbians!

Update:

Ride or Die: A Bad Boy Romance - Everyone thinks you and Logan are dating even if you haven’t romanced him in the slightest. Gay rep in minor characters but at what cost. - 3/10 We been knew of the het nonsense since we saw the tagline

Open Heart - MC can be a guy or a girl. If you are guy this book is great. Seriously Dr. ER always down for the BJ (sorry homophobes he BI!✨). If you are woman, HAHAHAHa. Only one female li who is forced to hate you for a few chapters. Seriously Sienna and Aurora and Kyra are right freaking there just give the wlw something!!! - 4/10 Gay but could do so much better

Passport to Romance - MC can be a guy or a girl. Even number of love interests except for the fact that one of the female li has a boyfriend for 75 percent of the book. Still this book is dreadfully boring or annoying which is sad because Sumire and Ahmed are wonderful. - 7/10 Gay but forgettable

Wishful Thinking - Story has MC spend most time with the two male lis, but MC, Anna, and Ellen working together to take down corrupt politicians ala Charlie’s Angels is awesome! The fact that you can sleep with Ellen coming out of nowhere like a dark horse? Amazing! - 5/10 Gay potential

Nightbound - MC can be a guy or a girl. Even number of love interests, but recent changes make it obvious the book wants you to lean towards Nik. Barely any scenes with Vera or Katherine. There is a gay fae and rock troll love story but you have to pay for it -  4/10 A fun supernatural story PB is forcing to be the next great het romance

Platinum - Can choose for your two main love interests Avery and Raleigh to be male or female which means you are not forced to romance men unless you want to! The women are so pretty it hurts. Get to kiss beautiful women for freeeee. Shoutout to non-binary audience. Every song is bop that fills me with gay pride. Only major downfall is you can’t choose to play as a guy. - 9/10 Move over Hayley Kiyoko there is a new Lesbian pop star in town

And Sunkissed is still up in the air while The Royal Heir is on the thinnest of fucking ices.

[lunaraen]

I present.... were-Quinn au, any prompt u like,, just,, Were-Quinn thanks in advance

Quinn, for all her attachment to control and to her life havingsome degree of predictability, has come to accept that there are some parts ofher life destined for random chaos and less expected twists.

It hasn't been all bad; they've managed to live through it, eachand every one of them, despite it all.

For as much trouble as she and her friends get into, usually dueto the whims of others, it's said chaos that led to her gaining any realfriends in the first place, to finding and creating their odd little familyafter she was so sure that all she really wanted was to be alone.

It hasn't exactly been all good either, though.

"Ow!" Because maybe Quinn's life was lonely before,but at least it wasn't constantly weird. Or annoyingly painful. She winces,tasting blood as she pushes herself upright from where she's lying on Kate'scouch, and doesn't quite manage to hold back her frustration when she realizesshe hadn't even been talking this time. Her cheek's paying for it all the same,stinging where it rests against her teeth. "What the h--"

Kate, who's put up with this longer than Quinn herself might'veif she was the one listening and not in pain, doesn't even look up from herbook this time, lowering it just enough for Quinn to see her sunglasses slidingdown the bridge of her nose before Kate nudges them back up.

"Quinn, can you not bite your own cheek for fiveminutes?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize how easy it was to deal with stupid sharp teeth-- ow!" Karma rearsits spiky head, and Quinn's fingers dig into the couch, half curling into fistsas she brushes her tongue over her front teeth, the least painful so far."Seriously, why can't they change quickly? Or later?"

"It's a sign somebody wants you to be quiet untiltonight." The pause lasts just long enough for Kate to clearly considerholding back some comment before deciding against restraint, lifting the bookonce again so the bottom of the dusty tome and her elbows rest against thetable while she all but buries her nose in archaic illustrations and crypticwriting. "Me. I want you to be quietfor a few hours so I can piece together some answers without you freakingout."

Tempting as it might be to try and blame Kate, none of this isher fault and she's only tried to help. Quinn can imagine her own temperwouldn't be much better if she listened to someone complain this long.

Still, she allows herself a bit of sulking as she lies backdown, softened pouting tempered by appreciation for how much Kate’s trying todo.

"Nobody ever really goes to you for emotional support, dothey?"

"That's what Zed's for." Zed, sitting on the otherside of the table, waves when Kate gestures to him, still slowly paging througha different, smaller book with his other hand. "They come to me for mycharming personality-- and apparently my library. I'm impressed you think I'll have something on this when youdon't. You're much more of a mythology buff than I am."

If Quinn could rely on that knowledge, she would.

Werewolf would have been her first guess, but none of thevariations she's ever heard of match enough with her symptoms or dreadfullylong transformation.

Never mind that, as far as she knows, she hasn't been bitten orscratched at by a were-anything, so she has no idea what passed this on, andthe potential candidates are too many to list thanks to how many monsters liketargeting her and her friends and how many of them Quinn beats back on theregular.

What little bits of fur Quinn has are both too short and toosoft, currently, to really say what animal or monster she's becoming, otherthan that becoming it's a slow process and that it has darned sharp teeth.

And a hearty appetite for something meaty, which helps not atall with deciding on a cure or preparation steps beyond hoping cooked food willdo.

There’s cooked steaks in her bag, and it better be enough.

She doesn’t want to pay for Kate’s groceries, or steal them inthe first place, and she really doesn’t want to rely on whatever food sourceZed’s been using.

"And you know way more about generally spooky things than Ido." Coming to Kate still wasn't a solely logical decision, if sensible inthe first place, and Quinn at least takes comfort in the familiarity of herhome and the couch she'd currently flopped down on. "There's an endlessamount of creepy islands, and at least one of them has to have had somethinglike this."

"It might, but the closest I know of is the one with themonster livestock." Kate huffs, flipping through several pages beforeglancing back up at her, one eyebrow quirked. "I don't know about all the isles, you know."

It's an odd admission of relative weakness, coming from someonewho was, and occasionally still is, so ready to seem smarmily all-knowing andall-powerful.

"It would be too convenient if you did." Quinn's wordsare slower, clunkier and more careful as she tries to keep her teeth fromsnagging on some part of her mouth. She's not successful, already aching cheeknearly sliced by the largest and sharpest tooth.

She doesn't cry out in frustration or pain this time, insteadgrimacing as her mouth clamps shut, but it doesn't stop Kate from leveling heran unimpressed look.

"You really just want to tear your mouth apart, don'tyou?"

"...I didn't think I'd be jealous of monster farm animals,but at least they got the transformation part over with quickly. I think we'dhave noticed if they were just slowly becoming devil cows."

Kate grins briefly, teeth half showing as she pauses.

"It's possible. Most of you were more focused on buildingyour shelter-- and Durango's hardly that observant." There's a pause,obviously intended to allow for or to signal a reaction, and she gets one,Quinn not quite catching her huff of agreement in time. Kate's smile shifts,fading almost entirely as she shakes her head, turning another page. "Partof what made the island a fun choice was the drama of their quick shifts. Idon't know if I've seen or heard of any situation drawn out like yours."

(Quinn ignores the unspoken, doesn't try to think about whatZed's own transformation was like or how much of it Kate witnessed.

She's glad it was quick.)

"What, inconvenient and painful? We've all been therebefore."

Quinn's smile is tired, strained, and weak.

"Not like this." Kate's smile is nonexistent as sheshakes her head. "Those were all fairly temporary or brief situations, andcertainly never required this much energy or set up."

There's a biting comment to be made there, about how Kate's workwas cut out for her in the first "season" thanks to her command blockand how they had even less time in the second one thanks to Poseidon and his,but Quinn doesn't miss the subtext or the way Kate worries her lower lipbetween her teeth.

As over dramatic as Kate likes being, the action and theunderlying anxiety are too subdued and too realto reassure her any.

"Wait, wait." Quinn's voice doesn't waver, smile hardeninginto something firm and far less smile-like, brow pinching together even as shekeeps the confusion and panic out of her voice because Quinn hasn't gonethrough so much, grown as a person and pushed through everything that's beenthrown at her and her friends, just to panic over a possibility. That's notsomething a leader does, no matter how justified or worn out. "It could bepermanent?"

The possibility is still terrifying.

Her attempt to straighten up further is met by a hand pressingflat against her torso, Kate's book forgotten on the table and Zed also on hisfeet, several steps away from Kate.

"Lie down."Kate's pushing doesn't have the force to actually stop Quinn from sitting up,but her look does, her sunglasses having shifted just far enough down her noseagain for Quinn to see how tired she looks, far enough for Kate to look whollyunimpressed down at Quinn over her sunglasses. "You're not doing yourselfany favors by getting worked up over what might happen. It's a guess, and it'snot exactly my best one- I haven't gotten a chance to talk to many werewolves.Maybe the first shift, or turning, or whatever, is supposed to be long. Yourbody's never done it before."

Kate's grins are as flashy as ever, but Quinn's seen enough toknow when they're just that, all flash and no substance.

There's no audience to show them off for, though, and while Katemight be doing it to try and put Quinn at ease, or even both her and Zed, theyseem more to try and comfort herself, and her explanation sounds more tired andoff the cuff than equally orchestrated and bold.

It's a scary thought.

(Also not helping is that, for the first time since coming here,something's drowning out the scent of rotting flesh. As happy as Quinn could bethat her improving sense of smell isn't flooded by Zed, the new scent's hardlybetter, and while Quinn could try and claim that her growing hunger is just dueto the transformation, because rotting flesh making her stomach gnaw and achethe way it does is gross, it's harder to ignore how the new smell makes hermouth water.

Quinn thinks it's fear, strong and almost unbearably tasty, andshe doubts it's her own. She swallows, and hopes Kate thinks it's because ofany number of doubts not related to eating Kate or Zed alive.

Something inside her is hungry, ravenous and demanding as ittears at her from the inside, and she shoves it down like the animal it is.)

"Kate, we don't even know what I'm becoming." Kate'sseriousness is off-putting, and Quinn gingerly attempts another dry grin, carefulnot to smile too widely as she relaxes, reclining again until Kate pulls herhand back. "Beyond something with stupidly sharp teeth."

"And we don't know if there's a cure, or how long thetransformation's supposed to last, or even how you'll act once it'scomplete." Kate might be tired of her own solemnity, tone more aloof asshe brushes her hair back, examining her nails afterwards with a sly smile."I really don't want to think about you attacking me in my house all alonein the woods. I don't even have neighbors who could react and be properlytraumatized."

"How inconvenient for you." And Quinn, terrified ofbeing stuck in another form, of losing who she is mentally, of wanting to eather friends, revels in the simple act of rolling her eyes. "I promise if Ikill you I'll try to make it more... sensational. Publicly disturbing?"

Another joking offer, light in tone and waved off by Kate.

"Oh, there are few things more disturbing than finding awerewolf den in a dead person's home." Kate lowers her hand, leaningagainst the couch's arm rest, and begins eyeing the nails on her other one."I'd just like to stir up some sympathy before I die."

It's taken a lot of work to get Kate to admit she wantssympathy-- emotional involvement-- just as much as, if not more than, sheerattention.

Quinn can cherish that later.

"Sounds like a deal." It's too much to sit with insilence, and she forces herself to push through the lingering levity, shouldersrelaxing against the couch cushion once again as she looks up at Kate."...you have actually useful potions stored up, right?"

"No, I just buy potion ingredients and shiny vials forfun."

The potion ingredients are more for bragging and shelf decorinside their own jars, Kate's knowledge of making things for herself slowlyincreasing but still sparse, while the potions and elixirs are as useful asthey are shiny and expensive, only the occasional bottle filled with a glitteryparty favor type brew.

Quinn's not looking to sparkle.

"I'll pay you back- or get the ingredients and help teachyou how to make a new one that's just as good- but if you think there's achance I'll hurt you, there's no harm in giving me a weakness potion or twobefore the transformation really gets underway."

"Because drugging you isn't going to have any serious sideeffects mid-transformation."

Kate's tone isn't any less critical, as easy to shrug off asQuinn finds it. Acting weird beats acting homicidal, or predatory, or whateverharming Kate or Zed would count as post-transformation.

"Better if I'm loopy than you dead. What, afraid I mightend up chewing on one of your shoes?"

It's the wrong thing to say.

Kate's finger ends up jabbed against Quinn's chest again, andfrankly Quinn thinks she's the one who ought to sound exasperated after all theprodding. Kate pulls off the unpleased air well, though.

"Quinn, you coulddie if the transformation goes wrong. What if it makes your bones reshapewrong? Or messes with your organs when they move?"

For all her huffiness, Kate sounds legitimately concerned.

Quinn wants to mourn the painkillers she'll be needing but notgetting, but staying alive is a slightly higher priority.

"Alright, then chain me up."

Kate blinks at her, sharing an uneasy glance with Zed, beforecrossing her arms.

"We do have someleft over from a challenge we never got to start. Fine. The things I do forfriends." For you, morespecific, goes unsaid, and it works well enough. There maybe wouldn't be asmuch banter, between Kate and any of their other friends, but it's easy enoughto imagine her chaining them up, for both her sake and theirs.

(Unfairly easy, given prior, but far less constricting,imprisonment.

Quinn guesses she's lucky enough that Kate doesn't considertossing her in one of her more (but not entirely) secured obsidian prisons, asmuch as most of her trusts Kate more than that by this point.)

"Hey, friends who give you attention and keep you fromgoing stir crazy out here."

"It's amazing- I think you've finally shown me that thereare some types of attention I can live without. People desperately coming to mefor help and with worries about dying is one of them."

"I'll pay you back for that later too."

"You will." Rather than getting poked or shoved again,Kate settles for giving her a pointed look. It feels similar enough."Because you're going to transform back after the night's over, withoutmaiming me, and I'll be waiting for my payment. You better craft me something nice."

It shouldn't be a tall order; Quinn'll see to making sure thatit isn't, that things go that well without any of this coming back to bite atKate.

(Literally. Even taking murder or massive physical trauma offthe table, Quinn has no current interest in making Kate whatever she'sbecoming, in making her go through this kind of aching, throbbing pain orconstant background worrying about her own fate.

Whatever she becomes might feel differently about having packmates, but that's tough for later-Quinn.

They'll do their best to make sure it's not an option.)

[nedmallory]

Series: If You Want Love    (ao3 link)

Chapter 1: Monsters

Wods: 4,588

AN: This story takes place prior to the events of Veil of Secrets, under the assumption that Grant Emerson is Kate O’Malley’s stalker. I’ve had writer’s block for the last year so I am more than willing to accept betas! Also, huge thank you to @mariamatsuo for talking me through my plot gaps in this chapter

Grant playlist:   Spotify    Apple Music

Tagging: @kingliamthirst @alanakusumastan @secretnerdharmony @maxwells-nut

Grant Emerson was the best lawyer in the district. Coming from a family of attorneys, it only made sense that he’d have to be. All he wanted growing up was to follow in his father’s footsteps. Every day he was making his father proud, even if Grant was merely a criminal defense attorney. Samuel’s only wish was that his son would have taken up corporate law instead. It was the most profitable field, after all. Criminal law was where Grant thrived, though, so he couldn’t stay upset at that. As long as Grant was happy, that should be all that mattered. Perhaps if he knew the road that path lead them, Samuel would have put more pressure on his son to work by his side at Emerson, Emerson, & Stone.

Grant was taking the long way home, admiring all the scenery Birchport had to offer. He hadn’t seen much of it since his family picked up and left town in the middle of his freshman year of high school. He and his sister had only just moved back seven months prior. The sun was just beginning to set as he waited for the dreadfully long red light to turn green. His phone beeped, signaling a new text message. Reaching into the cupholder next to the steering wheel, he picked up his phone. Another message came through, lighting the screen briefly and allowing Grant to get a glimpse of his girlfriend smiling as she posed with a tall glass of white wine. He chuckled. He hadn’t even returned home and Kate was already drinking without him. He unlocked his phone to view the previous message.

“Glass of scotch with your name on it when you get home!” Another came through. “Hurry home or I’m gonna finish your glass for you.”

Grant was about to respond when an unsaved number popped up onto his screen.

“Hey, B!” He grinned. “What—” “Grant!” The voice on the other end of the line screamed into his ear. “Grant, help!” “Bri, what’s wrong?” Grant felt a slight breeze hit his face as he gripped the steering wheel so tight his fingers should’ve hurt. Too distracted by the fear in her voice, he didn’t feel a thing. “What happened?” “He’s going to kill me!” She yelled. “I need you.” “I’m coming!” Ignoring the traffic light, which still hadn’t changed colors, Grant stomped on the gas and made a U-turn. He was desperate to get to her house before it was too late. “Bria, just hide. I’m on my way.” “Grant,” she was whispering now. Between her uneven breathing and quiet sniffling, Grant could tell Bria was crying. “I’m scared. Please, hurry.” A loud banging sound could be heard and then Bria screamed again. Buildings and cars blurred away as he sped to her rescue. Suddenly, the line went dead. Grant’s heart sank in his chest. Bria couldn’t die, she just couldn’t. Not like this.

Sooner than he thought, he arrived to Bria’s brick home. Without even remembering to remove his keys from the ignition, Grant hopped out of his red convertible with the engine still running. As fast as his feet would carry him, he made his way to the front door. I was left ajar. Though his heart was suddenly pounding so hard he felt like it would jump straight out of his chest, he was relieved that at least he didn’t have to worry about breaking the door down. Mind racing, he didn’t know whether he should try to be stealthy or just barge in there.

“You don’t have time for this.” Grant muttered to himself, pushing the white door wide open and roaming through the dark room. “Get your shit together.”

The house was silent aside from his shoes clicking against the hardwood floor. There was no sign of life anywhere. The entire main floor was a mess. In the kitchen, broken plates were scattered across the floor. Following the trail of broken glass, Grant found himself in the living room where a large lamp had fallen over in the struggle. The lightbulb was still in tact, the light shining toward the staircase. He followed it. That had to be a sign, right? Taking a deep breath, Grant tried to mentally prepare himself for what he might find upstairs. A blood trail with no body? Bria’s lifeless body? No, he couldn’t let his mind go there. Shaking away all bad thoughts from his head, he reminded himself to just keep walking. If he could just make his feet go faster, Bria would be okay.

“Miss Holliday?” An unfamiliar male voice called out. “I know you’re in there. We need to talk!”

Tracking the man’s voice to a room Grant was shocked he’d never noticed before, he squeezed his hands into the tightest fists he could form. It was the only thing that could keep them from shaking once he confronted the intruder. Grant’s loud footsteps stopped behind the stranger.

“What the—” The man turned around, chuckling only when he recognizes Grant’s face. He had slightly tanned skin, black hair slicked back, a goatee, and wore a grey suit with a black shirt. While his taste in clothing read as impeccably clean, his vibe was dangerous. Just being this close to him made Grant quiver with fear. “Ah, yes. The errand boy. Go home. This doesn’t concern you.”

Errand boy? Grant cleared his throat. That wasn’t what he should be concerned with. He should stay on task. As much as Grant wished he could obey the man and leave, he couldn’t in good conscience do so if Bria would still be at risk.

“Who the hell are you?” Grant crossed his arms, trying to look as intimidating as possible. In reality, however, he had no idea what intimidating another man was supposed to look like. It was never something he’d ever cared to do before this moment. He was starting to wish he’d thought to ask for backup instead of entering a dangerous situation with no contingency plan in place. Of course, he couldn’t do that, or his secret would be discovered. The man’s silence was tugging at Grant’s nerves. Why did he have to make it so hard? And if he was just going to keep ignoring the question, Grant would just have to settle for referring to him as something so plain and unoriginal as Goatee. “I won’t ask you again, Goatee.”

The man’s eyes roamed along Grant’s body, from his furrowed eyebrows to his unflinching gaze to the tightly folded arms to the way Grant was constantly shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He doubled over, deep laughter rumbling out of him.

“Oh, man!” He clutched his stomach as he returned his posture upright. “You almost had me going for a moment there!” Grant was about to take a step forward until Bria spoke. “Grant?” Her voice was soft, almost inaudible through the closed door. “Is that you?” “Yeah, it’s me!” He released a sigh of relief. Grant had been terrified that when he finally got to Bria she would be dead. But now that he knew the truth all he wanted was to get the bastard standing before him away from her. “Thank God you’re safe!” “Safe? Is that why you’re here?” The man laughed again. “You don’t even know what you’re doing, do you?”

Grant wanted to open his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t convince himself to do so.

“Alright, boy, have at it.” Goatee spread his arms out wide as Bria opened the heavy door just a crack. The room was pitch black. How could she even see in there all that time? He could barely even make out her face. Grant didn’t move. “DO IT! NOW!” Grant had rushed all this way for this very moment. He needed to protect Bria, defend her when she was too weak to defend herself. How could he though? His eyes darted to Bria, who had been watching desperately for some kind of indication to how this exchange would pan out.

“No, wait.” Grant closed his eyes, hoping Bria wouldn’t kill him later for backing out. When he opened them again, Goatee seemed troubled. Grant took that as an opening to try to sway him even though panic took over every inch of him just gazing into Goatee’s cold eyes. “Nobody has to get hurt here. Just leave.”

“I respect you coming here to protect your girlfriend.” Goatee nodded. His eyes more intense than their default state. “It was brave of you.”

“Th-thank you.” Grant cleared his throat. He was relieved there wouldn’t be any confrontation after all. “I’m pleased we’re able to work this out.” Goatee’s grin was unnerving. Grant had never been this close to someone whose smile could reach their murderous eyes. “Not quite.” Grant froze. “A wise king once said he was only brave when he had to be.” He began to peel off his crisp suit jacket. “I’m afraid you didn’t have to be. You should’ve walked away when you had the chance, boy.” “Don’t do this!” Grant, backing away pleaded for his life. It shouldn’t end like this. Looking around for a weapon was pointless. Just blank walls and an unfilled hallway. “We can talk this out!” “The time for talking never existed.” He inched closer to Grant, rolling up his long sleeves. “Only one of us makes it out of here alive. I think we both know that’s going to be me.” “No…” Grant searched for Bria’s face. She was now standing outside of the room. Her hand covered her mouth. What was she thinking? She shouldn’t be there. If he turned around Goatee would see her! It wasn’t safe. Grant needed to provide a distraction so that Bria could get away. She’d be dead otherwise.

Panicking, Grant’s hand did all the thinking for him. His fist collided with the man’s strong jaw. They were both shocked that Grant had it in him. His eyes caught a glimpse of Bria in the background. Was she really smiling at a time like this? No, she couldn’t be. For every step that Goatee took toward Grant, Grant took two steps back.

“I thought you were finally getting it.” Goatee sighed, disappointed that Grant was so weak. It took all the fun out of the fight. “Man up and fight me, boy!”

Finally, Grant’s back hit the railing of the staircase. There was still no sign of a potential weapon for Grant to use and there was nowhere left to go without leaving Bria alone with her attacker. Goatee grabbed Grant by the collar, lifting him up into the air. His feet dangled loosely just 5 inches above the ground. Goatee began to whisper in Grant’s ear.

“It would be so easy to throw you over the edge right now and watch you go splat.” He sneered at Grant. He was clearly still disgusted that the person Bria handpicked to end his life wouldn’t fight back. “But you don’t even know what, or who, you’re fighting for. The least I can do before I kill you is make sure you die knowing the truth. At least then, it won’t be in vain.” Just like that he released Grant from his grip. A huge part of Grant thought for sure Goatee was playing some sinister joke on him. Part of him was also so foolish to believe the claims of a killer. Grant didn’t know which part of himself to believe. Surely he couldn’t trust this man, so he did what he assumed any reasonable person would do in his situation. Grant punched him in the stomach, making Goatee clutch it.

“Son of a bitch,” he laughed genuinely this time. “That one actually hurt me!”

Oddly enough, that one reaction gave Grant a sense of pride he knew he shouldn’t have. One that he knew wouldn’t have the chance to last. One way or another, this was the day that Grant Emerson would die. Nothing in his life would ever remain the same as it had always been. He tried to punch Goatee again, but he caught Grant’s fist before it could crash into him again. He’d already afforded Grant as many freebie shots as he cared to give him.

Before Grant could even think of blinking, Goatee was already delivering blow after blow careful enough to avoid Grant’s face. He felt that sparing his punching bag’s face was the very least he could do. Grant’s arms crossed against his chest forming an x. He had no idea what it would actually do, but he’d hoped it would take some of the pain away. It didn’t. The two men floated across the room as Grant attempted to flee his opponent’s deadly jabs. His entire body ached and all he wanted was to escape. This was it for him. This would be Grant’s demise. There would be no walking away from this house.

Ready to accept defeat, Grant closed his eyes. He mentally said his goodbyes to everything he cared about. Goodbye to his beautiful blue Camaro convertible. Goodbye to the ongoing golf tournament he was currently beating all his friends in. Goodbye to his family and his friends. Goodbye to that damn puppy he’d just adopted, who just couldn’t seem to stop relieving herself inside Grant’s shoes. Goodbye to Kate. Wait, no. Not Kate. He couldn’t bare to leave Kate alone. Not like this. They’d just moved in together a couple months prior. She couldn’t find out he’d been cheating on her, especially not by the rumors of his death’s circumstances flying around Birchport. How would Kate ever survive that kind of humiliation? Grant would never do anything to hurt Kate! At least that was what he’d always told himself each time he’d betrayed her trust.

As Grant’s eyes shot open he pushed his assailant away with all the force he could summon. He needed to continue to fight. Not just for himself or for Bria, but for Kate. She needed him. Goatee fell backward, losing his normal sense of balance. He tripped over his own feet until they sent him tumbling down the 20 foot long staircase.

“Timber.” He said calmly and nodded. He didn’t panic or shout for help steadying himself. When you’re in the crime business, you have to be prepared to die at any moment. Death was never something he’d feared. Though death by stairs would be a tough blow to his reputation, Goatee welcomed it. His body hit the stair landing. Grant half expected to hear some pained shuffling at the bottom of the stairs, but it never came. Why wasn’t he making a sound? Grant sucked a breath in and peeked down the stairs. The man’s body was motionless. No sign of life. “No!” Grant whisper-shouted to himself. “He’s not dead. He’s not dead. He can’t be dead. I can’t be a killer!” He watched for a change that just wouldn’t come.

“Please get up, please! Don’t be…” Grant blinked back a series of tears threatening to spill from his eyes as he yelled down to the first floor. Was he really pleading life for the man who was going to kill him? “Don’t do this to me, you selfish asshole! You wanted me to fight back, now get up!” Nothing.

Grant felt his only remaining option was to check Goatee’s pulse. He could swear he heard his own heart hammering in his chest while he descended the stairs.

“Breathe,” he coached himself. Otherwise he might just forget and pass out right on top of the unconscious man just a few feet away. “In, two, three, four. Out—” “Is he…” Bria cried out with shaky breaths. “Is he dead?” “…two, three, four.” Grant couldn’t focus on more than one thing at a time. He shook her voice out of his head and just focused on his breathing. “In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four.” “Grant?” she trembled but still he did not respond. “Grant, answer me dammit!” Nothing was taking Grant’s mind off of the task at hand, which was making it out of this in one piece. Quite frankly, he didn’t need Bria’s whining at that moment. If he could keep crying to the bare minimum, so could she. He was the one doing all the fighting, after all, and he wouldn’t have been there if not for Bria’s panicked phone call.

Finally he reached the bottom of the stairs. Grant crouched down next to Goatee. Grant reached two fingers out felt his neck for a pulse. Nothing. “Oh God!” Grant’s voice echoed against the walls. He jumped back perching himself up on one of the steps. The tears he’d been holding back ran down his cheeks. “Nope,” Goatee slowly opened his eyes and turned his head toward Grant. “I’m no god, but I am still kickin’ so you can stop being dramatic now.”

Terror coursed through Grant’s body again. Suddenly looking into the hollow that Goatee must have considered his soul, Grant finally realized that this man wasn’t afraid to die. Not because he had a death wish, but because he was simply unkillable. Grant remembered Goatee’s words from earlier and saw the truth in them. Grant really wasn’t going to survive the night in one piece. Death at Goatee’s hands was inevitable. Nothing and no one could stop it. Grant disappeared as fast as he could back up the stairs and down the familiar path to Bria’s bedroom. She also fled, but her path was back into her panic room. Goatee didn’t care about hurting her though. He couldn’t. He took off, as quickly as he could, after Grant.

“Hey kid?” Goatee called out to Grant and dragged his hand along the wall. He let his tiny fingernails tap against each door he passed. He was already halfway to the bedroom. “I really am sorry that I have to kill you. As hard as it is to believe, I actually like you. You’re a fun kill. I’ve never had ‘rich golden boy’ before.”

Grant searched the bedroom frantically for any kind of weapon he could use to take Goatee down a notch. He stumbled his way into the adjoined bathroom, nearly crashing his head into the door frame. Grant rummaged through the drawers and cabinets to find something hard or potentially hazardous. Unfortunately, there truly was nothing. Didn’t most women at least have a curling iron in their bathrooms? The only one being taken down a notch was Grant. He might have already been defeated, but he couldn’t give up hope that he might find a weapon.

“Oh, Graaant!” Goatee warned him that he was on the way. He sounded as if he was waiting just outside the bedroom. Goatee might’ve been a killer, but at least he was a generous murderer by allowing his opponent the opportunity to find a weapon to defend himself. Grant hurried back into the bedroom and decided to check Bria’s desk one last time.

“Ooh,” Goatee’s voice was clearer than ever as he stood behind Grant, who’d blatantly jumped out of his own skin. “Too late.”

Grant turned to face him, but realized this man was superior to him in every way. He was at least five inches taller than Grant was, he had far more toned muscle as Grant could see the outline of his muscles through his dress shirt, and clearly he was stronger. If Grant was smart, and he definitely was, he sure as hell wasn’t going to underestimate Goatee.

“Y-you said you like me.” Grant’s hands felt around the items on the desk behind his back. “You don’t have to kill me. You could just let me go. Bria too.” “You’ve seen my face.” Goatee shook his head. “You could easily point me out to any of our enemies if they found you. It would just create a blood bath for the boss and for Stone Haven. Birchport’s only a town away and I’d have to come back to kill you anyway for opening your damn mouth and causing all this trouble.”

“I won’t talk!” Grant finally felt something that wasn’t paper thin. A mirror? Really? Would that actually leave enough of an impact on him? A shot glass? No, not big enough. Goatee would just catch his hand before getting hit. Moving his hand further left, it landed on a tall glass bottle. Yes, that was the one. That was his weapon. “I swear on my girlfriend’s life, I won’t!” The words tasted like vinegar coming out of his mouth. Why would he say that?

“Which one?” Goatee smirked. Grant was shocked that this total stranger knew his secret. “Oh, please. Of course we know!” We? Who was we? “In due time.” Goatee took another step forward. They were now just inches from touching. “You’re not dying right this second. I recall promising you information.”

It was a trap. Grant had to react! He smashed the bottle over Goatee’s head. He fell down clutching his head while Grant ran away. He headed for the stairs, crashing into the walls every time he made a sharp turn. It was slowing him down tremendously. He’d nearly made it back to the kitchen when he felt himself being tackled down to the ground. The collision sent his arms and hands scraping along the broken glass on the floor.

“You just had to go and do something stupid like run!” Goatee yelled and slammed his fist into Grant’s chest. “Stay. Still.” His hair had come out of place. He had to brush it out of his face as he closed his eyes and calmed his nerves. He was pinning Grant down by the throat.

“Now, I—”Just as he was opening his eyes again and about to remove his hand from Grant’s throat, Grant stabbed him in the heart with a thick shard from a shattered plate. Both their blood drizzled down Grant’s hand. He stared at it in horror. He might’ve just killed a man. There’d be no coming back from there.

They were still face to face as Goatee’s mouth fell open. Even through the pain, he was trying to tell Grant the truth he’d promised him. “Hhhh—” Goatee blinked slowly. “Hun… ter… Holliday…” Hunter Holliday? The crime lord? For the life of him, Grant couldn’t figure out why Goatee was telling him about Stone Haven’s most dangerous criminal. “Bria… Birchport police…” The more he spoke, the more his chest ached from the glass shard sticking inside of him. He eased himself down on top of Grant and rolled off of him so that he would lie on his back. The strain of keeping himself propped up was no longer there, but for the first time in his adult life Goatee knew what death must feel like. It was almost unbearable, but after all the bad he’s done outside of Birchport, he felt this was precisely what he deserved. “Daughter.”

“What?” Grant shook him. “You’re not making any sense!” “Holliday… daughter… Bria…” Goatee’s eyes slowly began to close. “No!” Grant shook him again. “Stay with me! I need to know!” “Tired.” Goatee’s head fell limp as he slipped out of consciousness.

“Grant Emerson…” A man’s voice called out to him from the shadows. That voice… He knew the voice but he couldn’t place it. The man stepped into the light. His head was bald and he wore a police uniform. “Well done.” “Tommy Walsh, you bastard.” Grant threw himself onto his feet, fuming at the Chief. “What the hell are you doing here?” “I always knew you were a thug.” Walsh smiled, pleased with himself. “It was just a matter of time.” “What, did you set this up?” Grant approached the good for nothing human garbage dumpster. “Just to nail me?” “Oh, no!” Walsh snickered. “That was all Miss Holliday. She wants the spot Mr. Cantarella, here, holds in her daddy’s inner circle. He signs my paycheck, so who am I to say no? Which reminds me. You’re under arrest. Murder. First degree.”

Walsh stepped closer to Grant.

“What?!” He couldn’t get arrested! All he did was protect his secret girlfriend. This wasn’t fair! Grant yanked a wooden picture frame off the wall and threw it at Walsh. It hit him in the left eye. “This wasn’t premeditated!” “Ouch! What the hell’s wrong with you, Emerson? Do you really want to add assault of a police officer with a deadly weapon to the list of charges?” Walsh grimaced, removing his handcuffs from his belt. His face hurt like hell, but he’d always dreamed of arresting an Emerson. His wish was finally coming true. “And I’m pretty sure I can manufacture evidence to make it look like you had a vendetta. Don’t. Push me. You’re done in this town.”

As Walsh slapped the cuffs onto Grant’s wrists, Bria bounced down the stairs and rounded the corner. She smiled at the scene. Grant’s heart dropped at the sight. He’d hoped Chief Walsh was lying. “Babe, aren’t you excited? You’re in bed with us now.” Bria ran up to them and planted a soft kiss on Grant’s lips. “Officially.”

Just then, Grant woke up. His empty eyes flashed open and stared up at what used to be a blank ceiling. Now, he had a picture of Kate O’Malley staring him in the face. Every night and every day, he had the same memory replaying in his dreams. Kate, Bria, the man with the Goatee, Walsh. It was all real. In fact, it had happened three years ago. Having this dream every time he shut his eyes used to make him scream and sweat bullets when he woke. Now, he feels nothing. No more guilt or shame. No more wondering what if. No more anticipating when Bria would come back to haunt him. So far she’s been quiet.

The only reason Grant wasn’t doing major time in prison was because his father swooped in and bribed Walsh to keep the arrest under the radar. At least, that was the case until Samuel Emerson died mysteriously just months later. Nobody knew what truly happened, but Grant’s mother blamed him. As did Scarlett, but she would never admit it to him. Whenever Scarlett needed him on her side, he was with no questions asked. Now it was her chance to repay the favor.

Kate left him two years ago, but Grant? He intends to get her back. He’ll stop at nothing to reclaim what he’s lost. Tonight was Kate’s birthday and it was about time he finally made an appearance in her life again. Grant reached across his bedside table for the note and ring he found on his pillow when she moved out of his mansion and out of his life.

“Grant, I’ve rewritten this note a million times over, but there’s just no easy way to say this. I’ve tried to find the words but nothing I say, or how or when I say it, seems to work. So here it is. I need to let you go. You’re going through something, and whatever it is has been eating you up inside. It’s been killing me to not be able to help you, or even know what happened to you. You have to know I love you, but I love me too. Grant… I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to keep living with a ghost. This is no way for either of us to live. Maybe someday we can find our way back to each other. -Kate.”