#keep resding on ao3

[yueichihara]

Choose me.

◇Summary: Caleb and Zayne are more than just people you know, they're your childhood friends. The stories you share, the bonds that tie you together, remain. Regardless of anything that's happened, your love for them will always be there. Your feelings are clear, there was never a choice to make.

◇Content warnings: female!mc | fluff | angst | jealousy | jealous caleb | messaging and text style | mc x zayne | caleb = calbe | zayne = mr elsa |

Edit: posting the rest of the story now that I have the time to make it readable here, also adding the 'zayne x mc' tag because of obvious reasons!!! I might or might not be writing a caleb version. It depends on something I'm writing 'you x caleb' sooo.... don't get your hopes up just in case. Btw, the 'x chat' is there to guide the reader, mc gets them mixed up.

calbe chat:

calbe: what time did ya say you had to leave, again?

You: lemme check

around 5pm give or take

calbe: gee that means we have like… 3hs tops if i have to get all the way to the hotel to leave my stuff

You: yeh

calbe: remind me again why i cant leave it at your apt???

You: already told you i’m not staying home today and the padlocks at the building are being fixed i have to use the physical key for a few days its a pain in the ass

calbe: k anywaysssss did ya see yesterday episode of colour your life?? newt actually confessed to mike??? You: ikrrr!!!!!! like i totally thought he would bt nt riht in fron t of lindsay calbe: yo calm down you’re shitty typing again You: you know what i meant calbe: typing…

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

mr elsa chat: mr elsa: Guess what. You: what mr elsa: Guess You: 😒 okay then but what do i get if i guess correctly mr elsa: Isn’t the satisfaction of knowing me well, enough for you? You: no but okay then... you found those ginger and honey candies the old lady in the yellow house used to give us back in the day the ones we talked about last time mr elsa: Well, look at you. Sharp as an ice stalactite. You guessed right You: yasss wait please tell me you bought enough for me too mr elsa: Of course. I’ll give them to you when we meet tomorrow.

Trying to be the best friend possible, you’d been frantically arranging schedules between Caleb and Zayne. You had set the date for meeting Zayne last week when he told you he was free, but then Caleb called you to tell you he would be coming for a visit before a long trip. There was no way you would miss seeing any of them when it was such a hassle to coordinate. This was one of the things you hated about being a working adult: meeting with the people you cared the most about was nearly impossible.

It wasn’t even your day off. You had to talk to one of your teammates to trade with his own. Meeting Zayne was alright because it was in the evening, but Caleb would be arriving around noon and leaving on the same day. Time was gold.

You’d have loved to have them both together so that you could spend more time with both, but things were complicated. You couldn’t even remember the last time you saw them talk to each other. It was such a long time ago…

A quack sound brings your attention back to your phone.

calbe chat: calbe: but honestly same also i didnt think mike’s dad would support their relationship he’s such an old dated dude

Chuckling to yourself, you type back.

You: lmao yeah but that part was so cute such a pity lindsay is such a bitch wine stains are not easy to wash off a white shirt calbe: lol did you spill wine on yourself or smth? You: not on myself but 

You hesitate before your next message. Zayne’s topic has been kind of taboo with Caleb, you can’t seem to figure out why, though. Even when you were all little, they seemed to bicker all the time, but they also had moments when they would make each other laugh. Nostalgia is a recurring feeling whenever you think of both of them. Yet, deep inside, you know it will never be the same again. Not after everything that’s happened.

But you can’t bring yourself to lie to Caleb, he’s your best friend after all.

You: last month i accompanied zayne to a charity event i accidentally tripped over my own two feet spilled the red wine all over him it was a disaster calbe: accompanied? lol  is he your child i wish i was there you could have washed it with my tears after laughing so hard  You:dudeee do you have any idea how much it was to remove that stain!? calbe: you could have just bought a new one You: great minds think alike cause thats what i did calbe: we should test our telepathy powers next time i’ll get a plushie at the claw machine and you have to guess if it was the one i wanted You: no wayyyy you could easily cheat that way calbe: i’ll write it down then You: yeah, but i’ll be the one to keep the note i can’t trust you calbe: typing…

Releasing a sigh, you release the tension that was building in your shoulders. Now, that was easy. Another quack interrupts you and you open the text bubble.

mr elsa chat: him: But what do I get in return? You: you can keep the plushie and if i win you have to buy me the limited edition mr beanie beanie!!! him: typing…

Changing screens, you open the ‘Linkon City Tourists Attractions’ article you were reading previously, not paying attention to the names on your chat’s bubble. You and Zayne had once talked about how little of Linkon you actually knew, your jobs making it almost impossible to visit new places. So now that you were both a little bit more free, you decided to challenge yourselves, touring the city and its most interesting places. 

Another bubble pops up.

calbe chat: him: I’m a very trustworthy person. You: certainly, you are ill have to repay you for your kindnessssssss how bout we visit that patisserie we saw on the news last time a colleague gifted me some coupons  she said their macarons taste like heaven him: typing…

Waiting for a response, your stomach suddenly growls. Blocking your phone, you make your way to your kitchen. Notifications keep coming in, but you focus on the task at hand, too hungry to care for anyone right now. 

When dinner’s ready, you sit on the couch and put on your favourite show. Taking your phone again, you open Zayne’s chat.

mr elsa chat:

mr elsa: ? Sure, if that’s what you want.  Sounds cute. You: it is!! saw some pictures of the place on their page it’s got a huge patio and a jasmine's garden we should totally take loads of photos there mr elsa: Okay? You: whats the question mark forrrrr i’m sure you’ll love it remember the time, yeah? mr elsa: Nothing. Yes, tomorrow 6pm.  😊 You: at the plaza anyways gotta go, my novela is starting mr elsa: Okay, see you tomorrow. Don’t stay up too late or else you’ll be nodding off the whole date. You: i will not!! mr elsa: *day You: goodnight mr elsa: Goodnight

You feel heat creep up your neck at his typo, wishing deep down he hadn’t corrected it. It was hard to keep a straight face whenever Zayne did something that could easily be misinterpreted. Sometimes you were sure he was coming onto you. But some other times, you were forced to bump into a wall of ice, impenetrably cold. You knew you had to bring it up sooner or later. For your own mental wellbeing.

Changing chats, you go back to Caleb’s, a long string of deleted messages leaving your previous conversation way too far into the ether.

calbe chat: calbe: so anyways lets do that… You: dude wth with all the deleting make up your mindd you’re not gonna get out of this one!!! calbe: seems like i wont btw, stop spacing out you took your sweet time to write back you missed all my complaining You: and thank the lemurian god i did wouldnt want to read all that anyway, gotta go colour your life’s new episode is startingggg byeeee calbe: whoa  whats more important your soap opera or me? You: obviously… my novela duh calbe: 😭 dont spoil it like the other time im on duty tonight You: kayyy good luck!! 😊 calbe: 😊

Following doctor’s orders, you sleep soon after, finally getting a good night’s sleep. Your mood is up through the roof, ready to tackle whatever comes your way today. You find Caleb already waiting for you near the arcade’s subway station, next to a banner from the new addition to the plushie family. It will soon be coming home to you, that’s for sure.

“Well, you look chirpy.” Caleb says when you’re close enough.

“I am.” You respond with a smug face. “I actually slept, which is a lot already. But it was a good sleep. I’m ready to kick ass today.” You throw your arms around him, giving him a tight hug.

Caleb smiles and hugs you back, lifting you off the ground as he turns around. “As long as it’s not mine, I’m fine with it.” With a giggle you fake a kick as he lets you down, both of you heading into the arcade. You hear your phone ring and signal for Caleb to go in while you step away to take the call, handing him your game card. 

“Zayne, is something wrong? It’s rare for you to call me on a day we’ll meet up.” You watch as Caleb nears the admission table, already getting his wallet out to recharge the cards. 

“Hey… not exactly. Well, maybe.” For him to hesitate this much, something must have gone wrong. You let him take his time as he finds his words, sending Caleb a thumbs up through the display window to show him everything’s alright. “I’m on my way to the clinic. They just called me because a patient of mine showed up with an open wound. I-” You hear him take a deep breath, trying to center himself. You feel the urge to turn away from Caleb’s watch. He might not be listening in to what you’re talking on your phone, but he’s been the one closest to you for years, he knows how to read your reactions and body language just as much as you can read his. And for some reason, you feel like you need to keep this private. Zayne lets out the breath he’d taken and continues. “I know we promised to meet today, and I’m not saying we won’t. I can assure you we will. But I’m not sure how long this would take, they described it to me on the phone, yet I need to take a look to know exactly. I’ll try to keep you updated, hopefully it’ll be quick and I’ll even have the time to go back home before we meet up.” This last part is said with resolve, his voice steady and firm. That’s how you know everything’s going to be alright.

With a smile, you turn back to the arcade, making your way to the door. When you see Caleb inside, watching you every move, your smile falters a little. “Then I guess I have nothing to worry about. See you later.” As Zayne hangs up, Caleb hands you your card back. “Thanks.”

“No need, you owe me one, pip-squeak.” He says as he points to the newly added plushie on the claw machine. “How about we put our telepathy to the test.” With twin smirks, you both head to the gaming area. As the time drags on, you receive a few messages from Zayne. 

mr elsa chat: mr elsa: The wound is fine. That sounds weird. It's normal, the procedure is simple. I’ll be out before 3pm. mr elsa: The operation was successful.  mr elsa: Since we’re meeting a few stations away from the hospital, I might have a late lunch and wander a little. Going home seems like too much of a hassle. mr elsa: I remember you telling me you had something else today so I guess that’s why you haven't been answering. Let me know if everything’s alright, see you later. You: hey, i’m sorry it’s good everything went well congrats on a successful operation1 you can tell me all about it when we meet cant wait!

You’d been checking on his messages but decided not to reply to him in case it would distract him, but now that he assured you he was finished and out, you replied back. You feel Caleb watching you from the corner of your eye, so you turn to him. “Should we go get something to drink? I’m thirsty from kicking your ass.”

He chuckles and looks away, walking towards the dining area. “And here I thought I was the one who was kicking your ass.”

“Puh-lease. If anything, we’re even. And we’ve still to check if our predictions were right about the telepathy thing. You promised to get me the Mr Beanie beanie that’s sold in the gift store!” He looks at you as if you were making no sense. “Ohh, don’t you dare look at me that way! You agreed to it!”

“Did a wanderer hit you in the head or something? What are you talking about?” 

“I told you yesterday.” You pull out your phone, going through your chat history trying to recall when you sent the message. “Did you delete my messages, too?” Before you could keep scrolling up the row of deleted messages, Caleb’s hand covers the screen and takes your phone. “Hey!” 

“I didn’t delete those.” He blocks your phone and puts it in your bag. “I remember now. Mr Beanie’s special limited edition beanie, right?” He nods as if to himself, so you nod, too. You know he’s acting weird, but you decide to let it go.

The afternoon goes smoothly and you walk Caleb to the station’s entrance. “Okay, I guess that’s all for today. Please, don’t forget to write back every once in a while. I know these missions require you to lose contact sometimes. But even an emoji is enough.” You fiddle with the strap of your purse, changing your weight from one foot to the other. 

“Don’t worry, it’s not that level of danger this time around, so I’ll keep pestering you for now.” He looks at you, head tilted to the side. “What’s got you so eager? We’re about to part for a few months, but you look like we’re meeting after a few months away. What was it you had going on later today, again?”

“Oh, um. I didn’t actually tell you what.” Guilt washes over you. You had exploited every second spent with Caleb, but your mind kept wandering towards Zayne every once in a while. Looking down at your feet, you’re about to actually tell him you’re meeting with Zayne, when you feel his hand ruffling your hair. “Hey! Stop that, you’ll mess up my hair.” You look up at him then, his warm smile sending you back in time. Suddenly, you’re both in high school again, Zayne long gone to university, both of you navigating life without a care in the world or worry for what’s to come.

“Don’t look at me like that, pip-squeak. It’s not like I want you to feel bad for parting with me,” His hand that was resting on the top of your head, moves to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing slightly over your skin. “but it would be nice if I was the only one in your mind when doing so.” You see his eyes dart down and then to his hand on your face, before he lowers it. He coughs and opens his arms. “Where’s my hug?”

You feel at odds with the interaction, but shake it off in favour of changing the atmosphere. You walk over to him and hug him, his huge build almost covering you. When you try to step back, he tightens his grip. “Caleb?”

“Sorry, just a little more. I need to recharge for the time I won’t be able to see you.” He rests his head on your shoulder and you feel him take a deep breath. 

You realise then that this will be the first time since you met again, that you’re going to spend so much time apart. Following his example, you take a deep breath, trying to remember the smell of your childhood, patting him a few times on his back. You feel him tense at first, but he soon relaxes. Finally stepping away, he cups your face and plants a kiss on your forehead, a big smile lighting his features. “You can go now, I’ll go get my stuff first.” You nod to him and say your goodbyes, heading over to take the subway towards Akso hospital. 

Messaging Zayne, your mind clears, the excitement making itself present again. Once you arrive at the station, you head towards the exit, a bounce in your step that you can no longer control. You were supposed to meet a few blocks down the road, but you catch a dark haired bump sticking out near your exit. You can’t help your wide smile as you come closer, his gaze finding yours through the multitude of people. 

You’ve always been super aware of Zayne’s expressions. Even when others couldn’t tell his feelings, just a slight narrow of his eyes, or a lift of the corner of his mouth, told you wonders about what he thought or was about to say. That’s why these kinds of new expressions made your stomach go crazy, butterflies spilling away: nonchalantly smiling, eyes shining with something you couldn’t quite place yet. “Hey. You made it.” His voice smooth and low, almost a whisper. That’s all it takes for you to feel your smile grow even bigger. 

“Yeah.” That’s all you can say at the moment, so you nod to clarify.

“Shall we?” Both of you turn to start walking towards the address of the patisserie you’d sent him this morning, when a shadow blocks your way, forcing you to take a step back. 

“Oh, so it was a check up appointment.” The voice makes your blood drain from your face, suddenly feeling how close you were to Zayne and stepping away. “Akso hospital is the other way, though.” You stare in disbelief at Caleb, who's standing with his arms crossed in front of his chest, his eyes glaring daggers at Zayne. You’re about to freak out about him showing up in front of Zayne, remembering how he made you promise not to tell him about him being alive. But when you turn towards Zayne, ready to figure out what to say, you see no surprise reflected in his expression, his own cold gaze staring back at Caleb. Suddenly it dawns on you. Zayne already knew. 

Anger rises up, either at him or Caleb, you’re not sure. You’re about to speak up, when Zayne beats you to it. “It’s not a check up, it’s a date.” Date. That’s all it takes to mitigate your anger, apparently, because you’re forced to look down to hide the smile and the redness on your cheeks. 

“That’s weird. She didn’t mention it was a date, and we spent hours together today.” You look up when you hear Caleb’s teasing tone. It’s the same he’s always used whenever you three were together. But his choice of words was what put a frown on your face. “Oh, I see. Maybe you got it all wrong, Zayne. You shouldn’t force a patient to go out with you just because you have no friends.” The tone he used and the way he said Zayne’s name made your gut twist distastefully. Caleb was coming onto Zayne, the same way he did to your bullies back in high school. 

But you’re no longer that fragile little thing anymore, and Zayne’s no bully. You turn to grab Zayne’s arm, ready to pull him away, but he’s already staring at you. “I don’t think I’m forcing her to do anything.” His gaze lowers, his lips parting slightly as he stares at your mouth. He turns to Caleb as he offers you a hand to take, which you do without hesitation. “Now if you’ll excuse us, we have a place to be. You’ve monopolized her enough for today.” 

When you were kids, you’d always fight like this. Sometimes you’d take Caleb’s side and Zayne would just look away and go on, his gaze meeting yours throughout the day, Caleb feeling smug. And sometimes, you’d take Zayne’s side, his lips turning up slightly whenever you walked to his side. When the latter happened, Caleb was sure to make a tantrum, refusing to let go of your hand. You’d give him a hug, assuring him you’d take his side next time, and take the opportunity to get free and run to Zayne. It would take you days to make him smile again. 

Now, walking away with Zayne hand in hand, fingers entwined, you realise you had never really taken Caleb’s side. It had always ever been just Zayne. You had just wanted to appease Caleb’s mood, loving him enough to want him to be happy, but never enough to want to stay by his side. 

Stopping in your tracks, you turn around. Caleb’s standing still in the same place you left him, his back turned to you. “I need-” 

“I know.” When you turn to him, you see him looking back at Caleb, too. He squeezes your hand before letting go. “Go to him, I’ll be waiting.” He doesn’t look at you as he walks down the road towards the cafe.

Closing the distance in a few strides, you walk over to Caleb and get in front of him. “You’re acting stupid right now.” There’s sorrow in his gaze, but that’s something he’ll have to work on his own this time. He opens his mouth to say something but you cut him off. “Care to explain to me what was that all about? Did you meet Zayne after telling me not to tell him about you?” There’re hundreds of questions going around in your head right now, but there’s little time for that.

You see his jaw tighten, probably struggling between instinctively teasing you, or answering you straightforwardly. “Actually, I met him before you.” Both it is. 

“And you didn’t tell me because…” 

“Because I didn’t want you both talking and bonding over me being back.” You refrain from saying you’d actually started bonding because he was gone. It wasn’t the right time, this talk would have to wait. “You’re angry at me.” He says matter-of-factly. 

“I am. Do you know why?” You don’t know when you did it, but you’re standing the same way you do when you’re about to fight a horde of wanderers, legs spread apart, stance straight, arms hanging at your sides ready to punch or pull your guns. 

“Because I lied to you.” He looks down, arms falling at his sides.

“No, Caleb.” You cross your arms over your chest. “It’s because you look like a kicked puppy when it was you who pissed on the floor.” He chuckles at your comparison, making you smile, stress releasing slowly from your shoulders. “I don’t want to lose you again.” At the seriousness in your voice, he gazes up at you, meeting your eyes. “But you can’t ask me to choose, not this time.” He searches for something in your face, and whatever there is seems to not be the answer he needed. You see his shoulders slump, but he smiles, defeated.

“I know.” 

“I need to go.” You say, but you’re not going to, not until you know he can make this through. He sees your hesitations and his whole demeanor changes. He squares his shoulders and straightens his spine, holding his head high. 

“And I have work to do. My colleague must be waiting for me at the hotel. I’ll take my stuff and head back.” He reaches and ruffles your hair, a warm smile on his face. “See you later, pip-squeak.” He walks away, leaving you stunned and not giving you time to say anything back. You turn and watch his back blend in with the rest of the passersby. 

You stay like that for another minute, allowing yourself to grieve for something that might never be the same, that already wasn’t the same as before. And then you turn back, heading down the road towards the café. You find Zayne sitting at a table in the grand patio of the patisserie, staring at the jasmines blooming beautifully. His back is turned to you, but you don’t need to see his face to know he’s feeling down. You can see it in the angle of his shoulders, the way his head is lowered slightly, hands tightly pressed on his lap. Walking over to him, you lean down on his field of vision. “So, date, huh?” You smile at him.

He blinks slowly, seemingly unfazed, but you notice the shade of red of his ears. You pull back and walk over to the seat in front of him. “I thought you wouldn’t come.” He brings his hand to his face, trying to push up a set of glasses that are not there. You recognise this action now, as something he does when he gets nervous. 

“Too, bad. I don’t like missing out on dates with Dr. Zayne. After all, he doesn’t have any friends.” You take the menu from him, hiding your own nervousness behind it.

“I do have friends, by the way. I just prefer spending time with you more.” He puts two fingers on the top of the menu and gently pushes it down, your face flushed now exposed to him. You stare at the smirk on his mouth and ponder between slapping it or kissing it away.