#kesil

[crimsontroupe]

@kesil cont from here [x] because you know how it is when you throw spaghetti everywhere and then the bowl shatters on the floor and you have spaghetti and glass shards and

There are things people should not mess with: the dead, the future and the past. The dead and the past walk hand-in-hand, and so they shape the future. By their presence or absence. Adonia is aware of this, as it is really not a difficult concept to comprehend. 

If he is aware, then why would he tempt fate and walk backwards in such a way? Magic weaves easy from his hands and body: it flows through his veins, reversing and halting the flow of time. Not something he should be able to do, but reality has a way to bend itself around him. To achieve the impossible, a will so strong and unshakable that not even Fate can go against it.

So he returns to a place that crushes his heart like no other, a place full of ghosts and full of joy and full of sadness and full of rage. 

Adonia knows of something else: this is not his. "Returning" never meant returning to the same spot. He turns to a familiar scene, but there are details wrong. It makes it more obvious that it is simply one of the many branches in a tree, one different that Adonia usually perches on. 

Faces of the dead, smiling cheerfully. He keeps himself hidden, knowing that it would only cause confusion. Adonia cannot imagine talking to them. The cowardly part of him finds it easier to hide than to accept he would run away before acknowledging their presence. 

He should not meddle. He should not, his feet betraying that very same thought: before long, he finds himself in front of a familiar room. 

Adonia could do anything else, but he is doing this. He could warn his siblings, himself, fix things. Fix this.

Fix this.

How fragile they all seem, now. Adonia thought the bond that kept his family together was stronger than this. 

He also considered his acting skills better than what they actually were.

Adonia could slice Olysseus' throat open and leave. Ignore the warnings, stain the water with blood. That ugly part of him knows how easy it would be, but when his sibling is so sharp —

"What are you talking about, Lyse? I am myself."

That old smile surfaces on his lips again. He is torn between logic and nostalgia, torn between what he should do and what he knows he should not. Is it right to follow fundamental rules, but know one is still responsible for tragedy?

He acknowledges that in that singular moment, he cannot bring himself to get rid of his brother. Because he has not done anything else. How can Adonia possibly pass judgment on a soul that is yet to be stained with the blood of their own people? 

How can he – how did he – he would rather avoid all of this. That same annoying behavior resurfaces, so old now. 

What is so different that he cannot bear to repeat the act of murder once more? He did it once. He killed him once. He should be able to--

Adonia smiles, his eyes closing a bit.

"Who would I be if not myself?"

[laplacemail]

the all-seeing eye and the all-knowing mind.

by g_djungarian @ skeb

[hazard-and-friends]

hi! how do you say k'seil? she’s adorable!

well i did the best to make the spelling phonetic: kuh-SEAL, with the first syllable as short as possible

[thewolfisawake]

⏳️ (Kesil-Aurelia)

Send ⏳️ for your muse to meet the younger version of my muse

While he was still attempting to piece her words, the boy felt for sure he was being mocked. Why else would she be wearing such a self-assured expression? Kesil wondered if this was another friend of his father's. He couldn't recall anyone like her before...which was weird, he tended to remember faces.

But the ease he was disarmed, she couldn't be someone ordinary. With his accent thick and hiding the slow descent of his knife, he asked, "What is your deal?"

[arcxnumvitae]

✏️ (Veritas & Kesil)

@lunarxdaydream // mentioning @thewolfisawake || Incorrect Quotes || Not Accepting

Kesil: How do I tell Veritas that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

----

Kesil: Veritas, you love me, right? Veritas: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

----

Veritas, talking about Kesil: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH THEM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? THEY DID. THEY KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

----

Kesil: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out? Veritas: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

----

Kesil: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time? Veritas: AS ENEMIES?! Kesil:

[lunarxdaydream]

Smash or Pass (Aurelia to Kesil)

( smash or pass )

"I suppose I'm willing to consider smash if he manages to beat me at our next meeting."

|| @arcxnumvitae | @thewolfisawake ||

[applee--pie]

yanlışlıkla kendimi kesiyorum hep

[gozlerimdekiparilti]

sınav haftasında büründüğüm kişiden korkuyorum.

[rosie-with-knives]

KESIL'S GRAND ADVENTURE SOUNDS SOOOOOO 👀👀👀

Kesil my beloved!! A snippet follows, but here is some fun non-spoiler/minor-spoiler details for context.

He was raised in a cult and started the apocalypse when he summoned his god, who was very angry (and rather insane)

He meets his future wife by falling out of a boat and nearly drowning because he was trying to visit the Mer people. He forgot to factor in that 1. the humans and Mer are at war and 2. he doesn't know how to swim

He was injured in the original god summoning and now walks with a cane

He's kind of the equivalent of writing a book about a D&D campaign's NPC. He's not saving the world, it's not his job and he wouldn't know where to start. But he's doing his best with his own journey and asking his questions.

And here is a snippet!

Between the exhaustion and the mindless repetition of his plodding footfalls and clicking cane lolling him into a trance, only momentum was keeping Kesil going as the sun set behind him in the east and the oppressive winds of the evening started to pick up. He continued forward as he pulled out his map; if he stopped to look at it closely, he knew he would never get started again. He compared the twists of the road ahead of him and the creek beside with the map in his hand and sighed. He’d been moving much slower than he’d thought. There was no way he was going to make it to Lellipid today. He folded the map along the worn creases and gently tucked it back into it’s special pouch on his pack. No need to wear it out more than it already was.

[girifit]

tüm karaladıklarımı, buruşmuş bir kağıda yazdığım her şeyi veda say. çünkü ben bu durumdan artık nasıl kurtulacağımı bilmiyorum. bir batalıkta çırpındıkça daha da dibe batmak gibi bir şey bu. ağzımı açtığım an silahın namlusu bana doğrultuluyor. başımı kaldırdığım an şiddetli bir tokatla yana düşüyor başım, geriye savruluyor bedenim. bak, bu yüzden veda say dediklerimi ve yazdıklarımı. kaçıncı sigaramı yaktığımı bilmediğim dakikalardayım. başımdaki ağrı dinmiyor, ilaçlar etki etmiyor. adımlarım eskisi kadar sağlam basmıyor artık yere, takılıyorum bazen. düşmek istiyorum, düşemiyorum. çok güçlü olduğumu söylüyorlar bana, benim yerimde olsalarmış kaldıramazlarmış öyle dediler. ufak bir tebessüm sunup geçtim. ama hayır o an tek yapmak istediğim bağırmaktı. ben kaldıramadım zaten, öldüm bin defa demek istedim. cesetten bir farkım kalmadı demek istedim. olur olmadık krizlerimi anlatmak, gerekirse bana acısınlar istedim. ama olmadı. güldüm ve geçtim. oysa o an ve o anlardan herhangi birinde gülüp geçtiğim hep bendim. ezip geçtiğim bendim. hâline acıdığım da bendim.

şimdi o yüzden diyorum sana, veda say dediklerimi diye. hiç dinlemediysen kulak kesilmediysen bana bu sefer ,tek sefer dâhi olsa, kulak kesil. çünkü olmuyor artık. nefes aldıkça canım acıyor, ciğerlerim yerinden çıkıyor. olur olmadık anlarda doluyor gözlerim. ben ne yapacağımı şaşırıyorum. gizlenmek istiyorum. herkesten ve her şeyden saklamak. daha da ilerisi, kaybolmak istiyorum. biraz daha dayan, diyorum kendime. biraz daha. bitecek ve geçecek. oysa ne bitecek ne de geçecek. ben de biliyorum. yalnızca inandırdıkları bir yalana ben de kendimi inandırıyorum. veya inandırmaya çalışıyorum artık hangisiyse, ben bilmiyorum. ellerim titriyor, gözlerim kararıyor, üşüyorum. annem iyi olup olmadığımı soruyor. iyiyim, diyorum. üsteliyor. biliyorum, aynı gece tekrarlansın istemiyor. gözlerimdeki çaresizliği almak istediğini ama bana bir adım dâhi yaklaşamadığını söylüyor. susuyorum. kelimelerin tükendiği noktaya sürüklüyor beni. ağzımı açamaz oluyorum. sonra bin bir çaba iyiyim annem, diyorum. gözleri ışıldıyor. beni bağrına basmak istiyor ama yapamıyor. çünkü zamanında ben bir gül misali dikenlerimle delik deşik ettim bedenini, herkese yaptığım gibi. acımasızca ve duygusuzca.

zaman geçiyor, evet kabul. ama ben de benden geçiyorum. her geçen gün biraz daha eksiliyorum kendimde. kendi canımı yakıp yaşadığımı hissetmeye çalışıyorum. olmuyor veya ben başaramıyorum. şimdi bir sigara daha yakıyorum, titrek ellerimde duran çakmakla. yine geçeceğine inandıracağım kendimi ama ben bile inanmayacağım buna. biraz ağlayacak biraz da sızlayacağım. ardından ise yüzümde kurumuş gözyaşlarım ve akmış makyajım ile kaynar suyun altına girip bekleyeceğim. geçecek ve geçecek. yalan, geçmeyecek. ağla kendim. bu sefer ağla. çünkü sahiden geçmeyecek.

[crimsontroupe]

❝ come at once if convenient. if inconvenient, come all the same. ❞ danya to aliah / @kesil

"I assume you have interesting things to tell me, now that you have rushed my eventual visit." Aliah does not seem bothered by it, while normally he would be. His sister is one of the few individuals he would make time for, so the tone is light when he enters the shop and makes himself comfortable. A very familiar scene, something that unfurls incredibly often between the two of them.

"It does not matter much. I was planning to come here later this week, seeking specific items from you and your perfectly maintained network. And whatever it is, you would prefer to disclose it here instead of during one of our very awkward family reunions." Awkward was putting it nicely, to say the least.

Aliah returns his attention to the shelves, picking items he would like to purchase: most of them components and one or two oddities that only his half-sister would have in a quality that would satisfy the Spell Lord. The custom order comes later, of course. He leaves it in the form of a long, detailed file. It asks for things too specific and demanding of any regular merchant. Danya is not a regular merchant, so that is fine.

He has since long given up on attempts to get her to return to her magic studies, and this kind of relationship is more profitable for both parties in the end. As he places the woven basket on the counter with some of the handpicked items, Aliah raises an eyebrow.

"A clever idea, but I expect nothing less from you. And speaking of expecting things..." That same teasing tone returns again, an almost-smile surfacing on his lips. "Gossip is very valuable in Absalom, as I am pretty sure you know. However... many people would find it incredibly disrespectful to find things about one's own family through such means.

When were you planning on telling me about your current love affair, Danya? While I was the unfortunate witness to many men trying to court you in the past, you were very quick to reject them - or transform it into something that would be more profitable to you - this is the first time a suitor lasts this long. Or were you also intending on keeping that a secret from me?

Even if you refuse to participate in a lot of the admittedly petty schemes of our family - stubborn as our parents always are and will be until their very last end - that is still something of note. I will not bother them about it, of course. They probably have their own suspicious about it, and are probably tearing their hair off about something or other right now."

[laplacemail]

❝ sorry we got off on the wrong foot there. ❞ ez to adonia - @kesil

Snow piles lazily around them, as it has been for a while now. Adonia watches the ravens lazily, taking advantage of the fact that he is almost always the first one to rise. The way he gazes upon her is different from the way he looks at others: it is wary, knowing. Guarded. But it does not keep her out. Not yet.

There are many steps to be taken to reach that turning point. He busies himself with the myriad colorful flowers he plucked from his hair the night before, deft fingers intertwining their stems together. A way to pass the time, a way to make himself more approachable. A way to take his mind off things that weigh heavily on him. Adonia wants nothing more to blink and fix all of these problems, but that small part of him wants to run. Instead of stifling that voice, he soothes it. There is nothing he can do now but to fix things.

For a moment, that friendly expression he always carries hardens. His burden to bear, and his mistakes to fix. The bodies and all. Yet one cannot live - truly live - while clinging on to the past. Where he walks, revolution. Where he walks, spring. Where he walks, life. Old stones uprooted. New ones in its stead. Vallaki had that aura of forced joy, that engineered smile.

Krezk brings stillness. The horrors of change, closed gates and a challenge that seems beyond his abilities. Lady Wachter was easy. Political plots are easy, stringing people together in a most convoluted net is easy. It is for the sake of progress, it is for the sake of people. For that, Adonia will shoulder as many deaths as he can hold in his hands.

Next time he drops by to visit his brother, he should probably figure out what became of that. His thumb stops, running over delicate petals. Instead of agreeing or disagreeing, he looks at the young woman once again.

"Would you strike me down like a common beast?" She should know he is testing her. Gauging her response, both her actual response and the way the body reacts to information. The way a body is trained to react to such things. "Ignore the fact that we are working towards a common goal for a moment. If I were not, would my existence be a threat to you and what you desire to protect?" She is smart enough to understand what he means. Adonia is not human. Not anymore. Not after all the change he went through. He simply hides it well. "We did not start on the best of terms, and that I can agree with. Of all the people to provoke - and I know you did not want to provoke them - were the people we are on good terms with."

Though it is still quite hilarious to realize Adonia is in 'good terms' with a man like Arrigal. For the first time, he smiles. Best to finish what he wants to say before listening to her answer. Ez has much to think about, he is certain of it. "And I will not apologize for what I did." And a horrible realization if she realizes the extent of curses and promises placed upon a certain someone. "You may think it is disrespectful, and it might be." He blinks, and realizes something. Raises his left index finger to bring attention to himself for a moment.

"Oh, not the defacing of the board. That was simply artistic freedom. I meant the journal entry. It was the most well-mannered any of us could behave after perusing it." His fate will be much worse, he hints. He makes it clear. "Knowing this, I return to my original inquiry: would you strike me down like a common beast? Would you strike my companions, being what they are?

I once feared that they would turn their backs on me, once they figured out what I was. But nothing happened." A small, orange butterfly takes advantage of his still extended finger towards her. The small ring of flowers he made must seem intriguing to it. It does not mind the cold. His expression turns into cold, rigid steel once more. A declaration of war and the hoisting of a white flag both. "Would you?"

[merhim71]

Yıldızlarla felek menem

Vahiy ile melek menem

Çek dilini dilsiz kesil

Ben bu lisana sığmazam

Zerre menem, güneş menem. Çarpın cüşeş sırlar menem

Her şey açık ve meydanda, ben bu meydana sığmazam

[thewolfisawake]

Let's Play a Game

(YT Music // Spotify)

Cherry Hunt // Royal Scandal Good Graces, Bad Influences // The Spill Canvas She's My Collar // The Gorillaz, Kali Uchis Go Crazy // Leslie Odom Jr. Mistaken // Marian Hill, Steve Davit Honey Whiskey // Nothing but Thieves Take What You Want // Post Malone, Ozzy Ozbourne, Travis Scott A Night Like This // Caro Emerald Cruel Intentions // Delacey, G-Eazy Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have without Taking Off Her Clothes // Panic! At the Disco Havana (cover) // Brooklyn Duo Sweater Weather (cover) // Post Modern Jukebox Romance for Cello and Piano // Yo-Yo Ma, Kathryn Stott Fool // Veronica Fursaro

[arcxnumvitae]

💕 Veritas and Kesil (look I know they don't care but I do)

@thewolfisawake || Send 💕 and my muse will use The Love Calculator to see how compatible they are || Accepting

1%

Dr. Love thinks a relationship might work out between Veritas Grace Etrain and Kesil Andreieivch Sauer-Mechnikov, but the chance is very small. A successful relationship is possible, but you both have to work on it. Do not sit back and think that it will all work out fine, because it might not be working out the way you wanted it to. Spend as much time with each other as possible. Again, the chance of this relationship working out is very small, so even when you do work hard on it, it still might not work out.

"What is this?"

[lunarxdaydream]

"Good choice, I don’t wanna ruin her night. But I see you sniffing around here again you won't be so lucky." (for Aurelia)

( jealous, fiercely protective & territorial prompts )

What a smug prick. Who the hell was he to go spouting off on what the woman wanted anyway? Last he checked, she came in on her own so what? Is he a babysitter of some sort? An overprotective brother? Cousin? Friend?

“You talk a big game.”, he spewed out with agitation. His brow furrowed as the empty glass was set down, abandoned in light of this obstacle. Muddled thoughts do not register the danger. Frankly he doesn’t see it himself as he stepped closer, invading the stranger’s personal space with liquor laced breath falling free. “A scrawny thing like you couldn’t hurt a damn fly.”

Corner of his mouth turned up with disdain. Ego practically dripping with self assurance as he stood eye-to-eye. “I bet you can’t even follow through on a threat without some help, huh?”

|| @thewolfisawake ||