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drawing-way-outside-the-lines · 3 years

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Mercury Jinx *Supporting character

Voice Claim: (Idris Elba) https://youtu.be/-_CmfnzbLFc?t=115 (But, talks with a thick Southern accent, think Louisiana/Cajun, he used to live there for a long time)

Partner(s): None. Parents: Reena Jinx & Samuel Cullman-Thompson Siblings: Cedar & Onyx. Kids: None Age: Immortal but translates into late 20′s Height: 192 cm (6.2ft) Body type: Slim but muscular. Eye color: So extremely light blue that they almost look white. Classification: Immortal/Supernatural. Voodoo King. Medicine man.

About: Highly Intelligent, Confident, Strong, Will-strong, Daring, Observant, Rational, Courageous, Skillful, Creative, Open minded, Adaptable, Calm, Intuitive, Stubborn, Dominating, Objective, Dedicated, Honest, Independent, Private, Resourceful, Logical, Focused, Determined, Complex and Reserved. ~ Sexuality Pansexual. ~ Is often thought to be grumpy, but that’s just how he looks, he’s for the most part pretty neutral of mood. ~ Has chin length black dreads he wears half up in a ponytail high on his head. ~ Is very powerful and someone you don’t want to cross. ~ Badass. ~ Does he really need a shirt? ~ Heavily into herbology. ~ Very close to his sisters. ~ Mysterious boy - really doesn’t share much about himself. ~ Doesn’t care all that much, about anyone or anything... except his sisters and parents. ~ Doesn’t mean he doesn’t care at all, he just doesn’t get too caught up in things/people around him, and it takes a lot for him to feel fully invested in anything. ~ Pretty good cook. ~ 7/10 puts a curse on you if you eat his food. ~ Only talks if he feels like it. ~ Will kick your ass at any card game. ~ Don't talk bad about his sisters, they will end you, Mercury will watch. ~ His only fear is said sisters. ~ Is mostly awake at night. ~ Has a bit of a hidden temper. He’s very good at controlling it, but once in a while it breaks lose. - Run. Run fast! ~ Smells like: Sage, Black Pepper, Saffron, Cedar wood and Weed. ~ Throws killer parties. ~ Doesn’t pay much attention to other people’s opinion of him. ~ Loves fire. Dislikes anyone who puts out fire. ~ Spooky looking. ~ Marzipan is gross. So is peas. Get them away from him. Now. Away! ~ Doesn’t really mind if you have a problem with him. It’s YOUR problem. Not his. You fix it. ~ Wont change for anyone. ~ Keeps cockroaches as pets. ~ Dislikes kids. ~ Barely remember names. Doesn't care. Will make up names he finds fitting for you. ~ His sisters sometimes calls him Mercy. But don’t you dare repeat it. ~ Protective of his mom and dad. ~ Don’t try to force anything on him, specially religions or your own personal believes of the world. You might end up with an incurable itch! ~ Loves: His family, smoked meat, alcohol, grilled corn, snakes, spiders, cockroaches, moths, alcohol, getting high on homegrown magic mushrooms, FIRE!, weed, Hot Sauce, thunder and lightning, sex, casting spells, long walks in the rain, his sisters home-baked goods, Autumn, Pecan Pie, caramelized onions, caramelized potatoes, caramelized almonds, caramelized anything! ~ His style is black pants, brown Timberland boots. The end. ~ Cross him, and find out he’s lethal.

Biography: (Coming soon) Mercury’s tag Mercury’s house/home Mercury’s moodboard Handwriting/ask answer pic:

One gif to describe him:

One song to describe him: Virus Syndicate & Kompany - Head Top Personal Playlist: 1. DMX, Method Man & Nas - Fight Back ft. Rakim 2. M.O.P. - Cold As Ice 3. Skepta - Shutdown 4. Greentea Peng - Nah It Ain't The Same 5. Nas & Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley - Nah Mean 6. Sampa The Great - Final Form 7. Skip Marley - That's Not True ft. Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley 8. Snoop Dogg, DMX - Can't Save You 9. Stephen Marley - Scars On My Feet ft. Waka Flocka Flame 10. Busta Rhymes - Break Your Neck 11. DMX - Party Up (Up In Here) 12. Dizzee Rascal, Ocean Wisdom - Don't Be Dumb 13. Rakim - When I B On Tha Mic 14. Black Uhuru - Sponji Reggae 15. Wiley Ft. JME - I Call The Shots 16. 808INK - Crooked .Bad 17. Busta Rhymes - Gimme Some More 18. Kiko Bun - Bad Boy Tenor 19. Bullets With Names ft. Young Thug, RJMrLA, Lil Duke 20. D12 - Shit on You 21. Kano - 3 Wheel-ups 22. Nas - If I Ruled the World (Imagine That) ft. Lauryn Hill 23. Big Brovaz - Nu Flow 24. Ghetts feat Stormzy & Ghetto — Skengman 25. Tech N9ne - Fragile (ft. Kendrick Lamar, ¡MAYDAY! & Kendall Morgan) Bonus: The LOX - Bout Shit ft. DMX (R.I.P.) DMX 😞💖

#Final Jinx triplet has arrived #PHEW!#Let's not talk about the fact that it took me over a year to do this!#Damn!#Well #better late than never #right?#Mercury Jinx #immortal #supernatural #ts3 #sims3 #sims 3 #simblr #simographysup

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unseelie-bitch · 4 years

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Season 2 Episode 26: The Ultimate Power Couple

I'm so scared the title is refering to Darkar and dark!Bloom and that's so gross on so many levels

EW DARKAR LITERALLY USED IT TO REFER TO THEM DUDE SHE'S LIKE 17 BACK THE FUCK OFF

Okay Bloom's evil laugh that time was actually lowkey cute ngl

Thanks for helping the kids Pixie elders

Right okay so we left the adults behind, now we're leaving Techna and Digit, maybe stop diminishing the numbers lads

Right now we're leaving Flora, Musa and Tune I'M NOT SURE STELLA AND LAYLA CAN HANDLE THIS ON THEIR OWN LADS

CHATTA'S CRYING BECAUSE SHE HAS TO LEAVE FLORA OH NO

Sorry there was another way to get into realix this whole time? WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU DESTORY THE CODEX THEN

"You two say the same thing all the time now" Helia don't call them out like this

Oh woah dark!Bloom actually has a line

Oh fun. Professor Layton time - we know your friend is in imminant danger, but solve this puzzle first!

Okay I am LIVING for the fact that Stella's actually super smart and pays attention in class but used to pretend she was dumb because of her insecurity like what amazing character development. She remembers the field trip and she's solving the puzzle because she isn't afraid of being smart anymore!!

Yes Chatta you need to go through the portal if you want to get to realix that's kind of the whole point

Look not to critisise your planning here but the entire Winx Club couldn't take on dark!Bloom, so what makes you think just Stella and Layla can fight her AND Darkar??

I really hate the fact it looks like he actually cares about her. Like, the way he helped her up was actually... gentle? Ew stay the fuck away from this literal child, thanks

The real question is why were you not using your Charmix this whole time

CONVERGENCE

If that actually defeated Darkar then he is far more of a little bitch than I thought

LOCKETTE DO NOT GO THROUGH THAT PORTAL YOUNG LADY

Oh he just left didn't he... I don't believe this man's dead

Ew evil magic sludge

Aaaand there's Darkar

HOW DARE YOU ZAP LOCKETTE YOU BITCHBOY

"This is ridiculous! This is not some kind of prep-school mixer!" To be fair, if I was an evil overlord trying to take over the multiverse, I too would be offended that the only people sent to stop me were teenagers who haven't even completed their training yet

IS THAT CONVERGENCE BETWEEN GRIFFIN AND FARAGONDA I SEE?

Coach fuck off you're clearly losing accept their help you prideful dickbag

"Come on Griff" THESE GIRLS ARE EX GIRLFRIENDS REKINDLING THEIR ROMANCE AND I WILL HEAR NOTHING ELSE

Magic coach just fully wrestling the monster and squeezing it to death was NOT on my 2020 bingo

TRIX YOU'RE ALIVE THANK GOD

Sorry what the FUCK was that thing???????????? Trix convergence monster?? I??? Don't???????? WHAT????

Oh shit did he just kill Riven? Yikes

OH SHIT THE TRIX MERGED AND THEY'RE TAKING ON DARKAR

Musa is crying over Riven's maybe-corpse lowkey hope he isn't dead

Oh he's fine

Meanwhile everyone's just let dark!Bloom finish her chanting

If Sky breaks the spell on Bloom I will fucking riot this man couldn't break a wet paper bag fuck off

Everyone gasping because Sky said "I love you" is realistic teenage priorities

Lol Sky passed out without breaking the spell

Oh shit she's fighting it

Musa backing away from Riven cause she got caught having feelings is SO fucking funny

Oh she gave it back thank god

6 Charmix Convergence - excellent plan

"You stay away from my girl" ugh

Faragonda and Griffin is fast becoming one of my fave ships on this show and that's saying something

Oh shit only one shot at the charmix convergence

They are FOCUSING

Imagine being that much of an edgelord and getting defeated by 6 teenage girls and the power of friendship yikes

Meanwhile Trix is just chilling in realix and hates Bloom "more than ever" so that's going to go well

Aww FaraGriffin toasting their drinks <3

"Griffy" OH MY GOD

Layla and Musa are dancing and SO WERE LUCY AND MIRTA

Ayyyy hi Knut!!

Riven I am begging you to take off that union jack jacket

Layla just throwing Riven at Musa is what friendship is all about

Oh my god Riven BLUSHED you can't make him cute wtf

Chatta do not give Piff coffee

Oh it's just hot cocoa nvm

AWW HER FIRST WORD WAS COCOA

Helia was not prepared for Flora to ask him closer lmao

Sky what the fuck

Oop Bloom's missing that's always fun

Oh she was at the top of the stairs this whole time Sky's just a moron

Sorry why does Kiko have wings??????

Timmy they were in the middle of making out so on behalf of everyone who hates Sky, thank you for interupting

#winx rewatch #winx club

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rosepetals-flyingbirds · 5 years

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Feel Alive.

Pairing: Modern!Hvitty x Reader.

Word Count: 4K.

Warnings: Langauge (kisses Stevie), drugs, violence.

Music: Feel Alive - Ali Shaheed Muhammad & Adrian Younge

Worse than being humble and having to work your ass off to live comfortable, is when you’ve been rich before.

Normal folks with normal bills and taxes to pay suffered. You knew that, you’ve been raised by a hard-working family and since young, you knew the worth of money.

But Hvitserk?

The man was rich as those brainless players of dumb reality shows. His family was famous for boat fabrication, but when his father died… things went south!

The partner in the business, Rollo stole 75% of the funds, Lagertha the ex-wife and co-founder took 15% and Hvitserk only go 10% of it and had to share with his four brothers, aside the chemotherapy treatment for his mother and physiotherapy and expensive meds for his brother Ivar.

Ubbe and Sigurd asked to Bjorn help them with money, Rollo loved Bjorn and still had some kind of past love for Lagertha so he helped them and allowed them to keep high on the company.

Aslaug passed, and after five months Ivar did too. Of course,Ubbe and Sigurd helped, vitserk but at the end, not even the jewels he garnishees worked, nor his expensive notebook, car, phone, nor sneakers.

And where were his friends then? The girls that used to run after him? All the time Ivar has said bad things about Hvitserk’s group made total sense, you only know who is your real friend when you can do nothing for them. Hvitserk was proud man, and when Bjorn said he could give him a job if he agreed with some terms Hvitserk took a deep breath and refused. He couldn’t work with Rollo! Not the man that stole all the money his father had made with hard work.

And even if doesn’t make much sense, he felt he owned Ivar some pride against Bjorn, after all his mother and young brother were dead while Lagertha and Bjorn stood rich.

So Hvitserk moved, after the grief of his loved ones he thought he could sell the mansion and get some millions with it, but of course it was in the company’s name… it was Rollo’s, Bjorn’s, Lagertha’s.

Not his and not Ubbe’s nor Sigurd’s.

So he moved, he held what was left of money and rented a small -and terrible- kitchenette and started searching for jobs, it wasn’t easy. Not to say that he was spoiled but… he was.

He has helped his father in the company and every time Ubbe mentioned College Hvitserk just didn’t know what to do, Ragnar has said it was normal and told him he could travel to figure it out, he helped in the company but didn’t want to study tedious bureaucracy like Bjorn and Ubbe, much less engineering like Ivar.

He had his ambitious, but he didn’t know where to go nor where to start. And after some universe’s plot twists, he ended up with nothing. Not degree in bureaucracy, nor design, nor travels.

And being a Ragnarsson no one in the business would contract him anyway. His father’s death was something, losing the status another, but when he lost his mother and Ivar it was too much to handle.

He hated Rollo.

Hated how Ragnar has ignored all the times Floki has warned him of the serpent Rollo Sigurdson was, how wrong Bjorn was for believing in his uncle, urgh, Hvitserk could imagine Floki spitting in the floor just for mentioning the man’s name.

But Floki was dead too, almost everyone, shit.

But Hvitserk tried, he searched for jobs and even received a lot of no’s and asked for jobs in places he has never EVER thought before. But those humbler parts of the cities always had people searching for jobs, he wouldn’t have the luck to suddenly find one.

But in the third week living in the new neighborhood, he had enough, well, especially when he came home from a near bar and found his small “living place” shattered and everything in the floor, he started to run for under the bed where he kept the only money he had left. “FUCKING SHIT!“

They took it, of course they took it. Fucking hell.

Hvitserk ran downstairs and went to the street searching for the robbers, he didn’t care if he got shot, actually, it would make him a favor. "WHO ROBBED ME UH?! COME FACE ME MOTHERFUCKER! YOU CAN’T MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY?” He yelled in the streets and people glanced at him and whispered mixes of ’he’s crazy’, ’probably heroin’, ’poor boy, so young’. But no one appeared, no dude with some revolver to kill him, no dude to beat him until he bleeds. Nada.

And that moment in the middle of the road, in some terrible part of the big city where lots of people lived in the streets inside boxes that Hvitserk Ragnarson lost all of his hopes.

He had been beaten, had lost his parents, his money, his annoying younger brother, had received lots of nos from works he needed to have only to pay the rent; But when those fuckers stole the last roll of money he had he lost it.

Fuck it.

He knew what he had to do, well, he wanted to do something and was the only thing he could at least try to do.

He was going to kill Rollo.

Walking to the most crowded places of homeless he searched for one person he knew it could provide him with what he wanted. “Hey, do you sell?”

The man looked Hvitserk up and down, the tattoos on his face showing the number of times he has passed through the jail. “Are you crazy? Coming here asking like that? What do you want white boy? Heroin? Lolly? Loló?”

“I want a gun.”

The man whistled and looked around at his friends. “Phew. What Richie Rich will do with it uh? Kill daddy cause he didn’t pay the last prom party you wanted to go?”

Hvitserk wanted to leash out, but he had another person to punch first. “No, my father is dead, and I’m not rich. I just need a gun to fix a problem, can you find me one?”

The man laughed and grabbed his gun… The barrel was quickly placed in Hvitserk’s forehead, the cold feeling making him anxious and scared. “Look, dude. This is real. Aren’t some of those shitty shows you watch on tv. Do you want a gun to kill someone?” The man lowered the gun and smiled when Hvitserk took a deep breath. “Well, tell me the reason.”

“What?”

“Come on, fella. Who knows maybe you touch my heart?”

Letting an exhalation he tried to control his pulse. “My uncle killed my father, and with that he screwed my brother’s treatment for his glassy bones and now he is dead, my mother too but that wasn’t because of him I guess. My uncle stole my job and screwed my life, I don’t have where to go, the only money I had left was stolen and next week I need to pay the rent but I can’t find a fucking job and I don’t care if I’ll go to jail. Either dead or locked it will be better than this.”

The dealer seemed surprised for a bit, Hvitsek bit his lip imaging it was just some act to embarrass him further. “Okay, I like that you aren’t afraid of dying or going to tank… so I’ll find a gun to you, but you will work for me first, maybe two weeks or so. If you do enough, you receive it.”

Drug dealing? Well he had tried weed once or twice before, but selling? “You are in or out?”

As he said: Fuck it. “In. But I don’t know where to sleep.”

“What do you think I am? Tinker Bell? I ain’t your homey! I don’t care where you sleep or if you do so, find me here tomorrow night and I’ll bring a bag for you to sell.” Before Hvitserk could say anything else the man left and entered a black car. “You know what? I think you sell just fine, some motherfucker like you seems too good to sell shit.”

…

The next day, in the exact hour that man has spoken Hvitserk to appear in the drug point he did, he was nervous as fuck. This was wrong, so so so wrong. And he knew that, but he needed to end his uncle before he would end up in the streets living homeless.

So he did, he got some packages with heroin and walked around selling, Hvitserk’s heart had shaken when each buyer reached him. The people were terrible, hopeless… One thing was the weed one of his “friends” loved to use to piss their parents off, another thing was heavy shit like cocaine and heroin.

He tried not to think of it, he was doing it to kill some person too so it didn’t matter, and if it wasn’t him it would be another dealer.

Dealer, that was what Hvitserk was now? … After a busy week sleeping in the streets and eating rests he found in the trash Hvitserk sold all the drugs, the man he has met with the name of “Kiko” seemed surprised and proud of the sells, Hvitserk was terrible, the kitchenette he has rented got in duo time and he was expelled, and living in the streets … well, there’s nothing worse.

Kiko gave Hvitserk a gun but told it was only a rent, he had to give it back for him.

The revenge was coming, he knew where to find Rollo, but if he shot the man in front of the building would take too much attention.

Maybe he could kill him near his children’s school.

… no, Hvitserk wasn’t a monster like that.

So he decided it was better to do the act while Rollo was in a meeting in some restaurant.

It was 9 PM the moment he stood on the other side of the street the fancy restaurant stood.

He waited and waited, until the big black car appeared and Hvitserk grabbed the gun in his jacket, he was sweating. Dead nervous.

But Rollo deserved it, he stole him and took Ivar’s life aside.

Hvitserk walked and crossed the street looking straight to Rollo’s head, but Rollo had seen some old friend and shook his hand, with that, Hvitserk saw the small bracelet his cousin has made for her father with Hvitserk’s help.

Then the world started spinning, he thought about the moment countless times, he slept in the street and sold drugs to do that!

But how could he make two children orphans?

Rollo was a motherfucker, but at least he was a good father.

Hvitty started to run away from there not caring for the people he stumbled on the path.

‘What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing?’

What the hell has happened to him? His rage and ambition were bigger than common sense?

No no no.

Hvitserk walked until the spot he has met Kiko and was ready to give the gun back at him. The homeless watched Hvitserk stumbled by and wondered if he was drunk or in one of the drugs he has sold.

Kiko was smoking and smiled seeing Hvitserk, his ‘golden boy’ to the business. “Ay, did you finished your uncle?”

Hvitserk looked at his sides and grabbed the gun giving it back to Kiko. “No, here its.”

Kiko chuckled and looked at his partners with a knowing smirk. “Didn’t have the guts uh?” He grabbed the gun and looked at the cartridge seeing all the bullets there.

Hvitserk didn’t agree or declined, he just wanted to leave.

Kiko shook his head and handed the gun for one of his mates, he grabbed some dollars on his pocket and gave it to Hvitserk. “Leave, dude. You don’t need to live on this shit.”

Hvitserk accepted the money and walked away, it wasn’t much for an apartment, but he could at least have some food.

He was at least grateful Kiko hasn’t killed him, and was definitely calmer after the whole situation seeing Rollo.

Hvitty entered some fast food place and ordered some heavy combo where his arteries would get probably clogged. He ate in peace and glanced at each family that passed around. Ragnar was really absent when he was younger, of course he had more time with the man than Sigurd or Ivar ever had but yet… he felt terrible for almost making someone lose a figure so important as a father. If Rollo were a bad father he could go on, but the motherfucker was loveable for his children.

Hvitserk then destroyed his food and made sure he would contact Ubbe in the next day, he needed some help.

In the walk to one of the parks where he could at least nap in one of the benches he spotted a bar, he had some money left so he could grab a beer. He entered the place and liked the aura of there. The walls were red and the light was scanty and a man was playing the saxophone. The place wasn’t much crowded which was a true relief.

Hvitty sat in one of the stool and a lady came to grab his order.

You cleaned your hands on the cloth and smiled at the man, he had bags under his eyes and he seemed like he needed one shoulder to cry onto.

“A beer please.” He asked and grabbed his money, you ask which one and gave it to him.

The man stood hearing the song and reading his beer’s information. The sax stopped and Hvitserk made sure he had enough money to ask for another one, he did so and has seen the musician speaking with the bartender. “Hey Y/N, give one just the way you know how to do.”

“Joe Joe Joe, your wife doesn’t want you drinking, you know that.”

“Come on, is just one, give me some credit. Tell you what, you give me one and I’ll make your company until you close.”

“Smarty thing uh?! Just because Jack bailed doesn’t mean I won’t find another bartender to help me here.”

Hvitserk’s ears picked at that. “Hey, excuse me but uh, do you-you need some help?”

You looked at the young man and then back at Joe. “Yeah, do you have any experience?”

“Well, no but I can learn. I swear I’m a good guy and I’ll learn quickly.”

You smiled at his enthusiasm. “Well, we can try then.”

Hvitserk smiled and thanked you, he was happy he wouldn’t have to ask for help nor become homeless again.

With the passing hours Hvitserk helped you around, you said he didn’t have to but he said he needed to show effort. You smiled at his answer, his sad demeanor of earlier was replaced with something like… hope.

People started to head out and Hvitserk was glancing at the couch on the other side. “Uh, Y/N, I know that sound weird but could I… maybe sleep here tonight?”

“Here? Why?”

“Is a long story but I lost my house and I don’t have where to sleep and I really don’t want to sleep in the cold out there. I swear I’m not drugged or with bad intentions here.” He justified.

You pondered about that, it was a hard request and even stranger. But you cleaned the register machine and he couldn’t escape since you lock the whole place. “Okay but, I know your face and have friends who are cops so it’ll be easy to find you.”

Hvitserk laughed and nodded. “Thank you! Thank you so much.”

You smiled at him and Joe had some talk with the man, probably threatening him if he did something bad.

When you left you told him he could drink the water bottles and the next day you would give him some breakfast.

When you left Hvitserk felt relief, pure and shining relief.

He could manage that job. He could fix his life and rise from dust.

And so he did.

Hvitserk showed effort and did learn quickly whatever you have taught him. At the second night, you heard his story, you then made something you have never imagined, offered a place to sleep for a completely strange man.

Of course you locked your bedroom and had a knife under your pillow if anything but Hvitserk were more than happy to have a shower.

You placed his clothes in the washing machine and handed him some loose shorts you had and some big shirt.

The moment he sat in the table and almost devoured the food you still had in your fridge. You smiled at that, he didn’t seem like a bad guy at all, and if his story were true, you would be relieved.

His clothes were clean so you placed them in the back of the fridge to make sure it would be dry the next day.

You made sure the couch was comfy enough for him and gave him goodnight. Hvitserk was truly grateful for the help, truly happy.

And inside your bedroom you searched about his relatives on the internet, apparently it was all true, his dad has passed and his uncle was the boss. The other sordid details the media hasn’t shown, obviously.

He would be alright. … In the passing of the months, you and Hvitserk grew closer, you had set barriers but the man was strong enough to crush them.

He kept on your apartment but made sure you would agree with that, he has saved enough to pay rent somewhere else.

But it was a clever idea, in the end.

Once Ubbe came to visit and you met him, it was nice for Ubbe to see his brother doing well on his own. He was proud.

And for you Ubbe didn’t believe his brother had such a luck, he has only met golden diggers before.

And life went on, once Rollo told Ubbe to contact Hvitserk because he wanted to talk, Hvitty declined, he didn’t want to deal with him, or the company, maybe in the future he will… but for now on he was happy. … Tuesdays nights were the slowers ones in the bar, the day had been busy, you and Hvisterk went to your sellers and made sure everything was stocked. You wondered how all of sudden a guy entered your place asking for beer has grown into someone so important to you.

The last customers headed out and you stood there cleaned the tables and Hvisterk mopping the floors. He turned the radio on and a sweet song came on.

In the middle of all night, the star so far On the sabboc of my mind, so far star From eve to dawn, I will go for him Surrounded and blinded so his arms on mine

The melody was slow and special, next thing you knew Hvister had pulled you into a hug and started to dance.

You laughed at him and copied his steps.

He held you close. “Thank you.”

(Mine, mine mine) Cuz every time I look in your eyes, I feel like I’m drowning

“For what?” You giggled.

Your smile is everything that I need, every day, every morning

“For saving me.”

Yeah, he was alright.

You make me feel alive, you make me feel so high In the way that we move, to the rhythm of our lives In the way that we touch, when it’s time to make love From my neck to my head, all I need is your curse Surrounded my heart, I’m so glad that you’re

(Mine, mine mine) Cuz every time I look in your eyes, I feel like I’m drowning Your smile is everything that I need, every day, every morning You make me feel alive, yeah baby, you, whoo You make me feel so high Your smile is everything that I need, every day, every morning

…

#hvitserk x reader #hvitserk x you #modern hvitserk x reader

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kosne · 5 years

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Life and people 26/7/19

Recently, I been talking to some people. About life, about being human. Some have problems, some debates, some complains.

There are however some people that I find particularly difficult to reason with, 2 reasons. Their worldview is so different they cannot comprehend where you are even coming from and the 2nd would be being stubborn. Most likely from pride.

I've always known pride to be the source of most, or if not every problem. Though not obvious it seems to be the master of every situation.

I know I'm not a bad person, deep down I am really doing my best to help. However, it seems that the lack of connection with some is just so damm annoying (I'm human too). I could spend, hours giving advice to someone, advice that is concrete, is logical and been through the testing of life. Yet..... YET it seems like nothing, NOTHING I have said has been understood upon or even kept into mind. In fact the opposite, they do the direct opposite of what so many people have been telling them to, right after we told them not to.......It's not like what people have been advising them on is a neutral decision. Its downright a clear horrible one.

Yet, I always had the urge no matter my state of mind to help, to explain, to educate, to correct. And if you know me well enough, I don't usually add on subjects I have no urge to add on or things which I an not confident in. I'd much rather listen and learn. But what I do know, I have no qualms about putting it out there especially when I feel it is information necessary for the other party involved to understand. However, as I've said before, my patience and capability to handle situations clearly depended on my state of mind, which recently has been down the drain, thrown into the furnace and burnt to crips in the lava of hell.

I was giving the best advice in the state of craziness the best I could, to one who claimed he was smarter and more logical as compared to other. Receiving nothing but stupid and illogical replies and theories on the world and worldviews.

Truth is, I am not one to have the patience to counsel others. If it were me last time, I would have called him an idiot who was as dumb and stubborn as a mule. Hey, I'm a pretty impatient and prideful person deep down myself which I am trying not to focus on and to continue growing in the direction of compassion for others.

Well, that compassion evaporated like my sanity and I snapped into uncontrolled frustration. The holy spirit found a very good time to take a vacation. I was frustrated and angry, back to my prideful and intolerable 4am overworked savage. My hatered for stupidity and the inability to comprehend or learn was back. How were people so blind to logic and so dumb. It they were willing to learn I understand, but no I felt like a teacher being asked stupid questions for no apparent reason by some smart ass who thinks he is all shit. I thought I could convince people with truth and logic, I was proven wrong.

People are just not logical, we believe in whatever suits our fanices and claim it to be logic. Then we think we are smart for believing in what we know.

Ok I was angry and lacked sleep. It was my fault, I was emotionally and mentally too drained to handle myself well enough. I went to bed and woke up.

Upon consideration I asked myself, why do I see the need to help and educate to the point of my own insanity? Part of me really wants to help and get these people to understand the truth, especially since they come to me for help and complains (ironically). I feel for them, because I saw myself in them . The other part was.... pride. Yes, the very demon I so criticized is very apparent in me. I wanted to help others and that was good, but it came to the point where their actions, happiness and thoughts were something of my whole concern. That is wrong.

One can help others but one needs to understand that the reponsibility of peace is not in their court. The fact I was so insistent in 'changing' one holds a strong represenation of pride that I still held on to. Who am I? Someone broken with so many flaws pushing change on other broken vessels, I was never meant to be in charge of them lives, they had to walk their life and so do I. I'm not god, I'm human and it almost seemed I forgot my role and capability as one, I can't change anyone even if my life depended on it. I can't get people to see things no matter how right I am on that particular subject.

Ironically, while trying to help others I notice more and more of my flaws. I was asking God, why. Why am I incapable to help others, why can people not see, why am I like this? I then realised that, the other party was teaching me, I was not teaching them. It was teaching me the values I so lack

Patience and humility.

Upon realizing that, felt as if I was being told. "Kiko, have you forgotten your job? Please give me mine back."

The reason why I couldn't get others to change was because that was not my job, it was gods. Only god could get them to change see and understand. I was reminded, I was only human and that burden was not mine to carry. I understood. On the otherhand I was being taught patience, can I still handle someone lovingly despite them being extremely difficult and me being extremely lacking? This whole situation was my training afterall.

How I knew this? I was praying sometime ago for patience and humility, I hated pride and I wanted it gone. It came my way and I didn't even realize it. The other party didnt have to be wise and smart to teach me, the all knowing god was making use of what seemed to be a deficiency to teach me what I so lacked yet asked for.

I only realised it while I was writing this. This was supposed to be about something else. Thank you

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wastedwishesandhope · 6 years

Text

Eccedentesiast

Months quickly passed by so fast like a bullet train traveling from south to north. Roaring so loud to ruin a quiet-sleeping town then will leave without a trace as if it has never been there before.

The traumatic experiences and memories over the months have slowly faded, little by little buried at the back of the brains, now covered with new memories that can be restored and revived anytime you want.

Horrible, exhausting & painful images still flashing before her eyes from time to time, yet, still able to manage and forget. Though forgetting is still the most impossible thing to do yet the only option left.

After paying the fare, Anna immediately gets off from the cab and stood on the sidewalk. She looked around the street, looking for her best friend Deby who supposedly will meet her for a quick catch up. She was advised to wait outside the coffee shop where they had met last time.

The sun is high. Clouds formed like fluffy cotton pasted on the sky. Covering the heat from the rays, flashing a gloomy atmosphere down the city. The breeze is cool. The wind blowing mildly, gently stroking her hair.

Anna fished out the phone from her sling bag then sent a message to Deby to let her know she’s already outside of their meeting place, then she put it back inside her bag.

She scanned the whole place. Watched the people walking past her. Observing the speed between their steps. Staring at the people mindlessly walking with their eyes glued to the screen of their phones. Not minding the accident that may come in front of them.

As she quietly observing the people & enjoying the solitude she has, her eyes landed on the screen right across the street. As if the whole world conspires against her, the LED board suddenly flashes the video of the group she had been trying to avoid for how many months.

How many months? She didn’t know. She lost count or rather, stopped counting.

The huge screen played the video where BTS won the Billboard Music Award as Top Social Artist of the year.

She felt how her heart skipped a beat by watching them. Couldn’t deny the fact that she misses them, somehow, so much. She missed listening to their music. She missed laughing along with them. She missed the feeling of being part of their lives even if it all just feels like a dream and a nightmare at the same time.

That night he broke up with her, Anna tried to reach & talk to Park Jimin, but even Kim Taehyung declined to help. She tried so many times but she grew exhausted. She suddenly realizes her worth and how dumb it was to chase for someone who no longer wants you.

Slaving herself from all the requirements needs to be done before her college graduation and also in work made her focused more on one subject than thinking about him. Crying under the shower every night, and waking up the next day to pretend she can get over it. Dodging every news about them by removing her social media accounts and even avoiding all the brands they’re promoting.

She practically removed herself away from his world.

It was hard to do since wherever she look at, wherever she goes, BTS is always there.

HE is always there.

Even walking down the street back to her apartment, she always remembers the memories they have shared by simply walking there. Whenever she went to her bed, she still imagines his presence, even his smell. It was a torturous feeling to see him everywhere.

Every time she closes her eyes, she could see him. She remembers his smile. His last words when he showed up through her dreams.

Now, after all the efforts she has made just to avoid him, Anna was standing now in front of a screen flashing the man she once loved, or still love.

Her heart sank.

Going back to square one. She thought she was over him, but found out she’s only pretending.

The scar she always conceals has opened and now bleeding again.

Park Jimin was smiling while looking directly at the camera. As if he’s looking directly at her. As if he’s smiling while looking at her. His eyes shining, but not because of her. He’s smiling but not because of her. He no longer smiles for her.

Those eyes no longer have substance. No emotion. No feelings.

Anna wanted to leave right away, but she can’t control her legs. She can’t close her eyes. She can’t do anything but to watch the man who has once made her feel loved, happy, depressed & hated.

His voice rung again in her ears,

“Not all those who leave left because they no longer love someone, but because the only way to keep loving them is through the distance between them.”

Anna jolted when someone touched her arms. When she turned her head to see who it was, she saw her best friend Deby smiling at her holding her phone up to show the screen dialing Anna’s phone number. As if she just gotten back into the reality, Anna immediately opened her sling bag, shuffling inside and grabbed her phone. Deby ended the call and just sarcastically looked at her. The ringing ended and Anna’s phone shows 5 missed call from her best friend.

“I have been calling you. I thought you set your phone in silent mode but I heard it ringing from like fifty steps away that’s why I easily spot you here!” she said then rolled her eyes.

She stuttered. “I- I’m sorry I- I was just—I—“ she stopped and frustratingly dropped her shoulders, surrendering.

Deby noticed the LED billboard across the street, and that’s where she realized what’s going on.

“Oh.”

Anna just looked back at her friend with a little smile and Deby heaved a deep breath and tapped her best friend’s arm to console her.

“It’ll never be easy, Anna, but eventually you’ll get better. Soon.”

She just smiled back. A helpless smile.

— — —

Both of them decided to find another coffee shop. It was Deby’s suggestion since she said how are they gonna sit back & relax in front of a LED screen if that video continuously playing?

“I have prepared a party for our graduation and I want you to be there,” Deby said and sipped her coffee Americano.

“Who else will be there?” Anna asked.

“I’ve sent an invite to some of our classmates from specific subjects. Just those who get close to us. Kiko will be there as well! I won’t forgive you if you’ll say no! I swear!”

She laughed. “No, of course, I’ll be there. When did you get time to arrange all these? And by the way, how much should I pay?”

Deby waved her hand. “No, no. You don’t have to pay for anything. It’s all free! You just need to get your ass there and make sure to have fun! Don’t worry, it’s all mine!”

Her eyebrow raised in disbelief. “It’s free? Where did you get the money for the expenses? I doubt you ask your parents to help you to arrange it. I know your mom so well. She’d rather spend your money on your monthly bills!”

Deby sipped her coffee and fidgeting around her bag. “Uhmmm… okay. Of course, i—ask help from few of our wealthy classmates. I just—told them that—yours will be free.”

Anna’s eyebrows furrowed. She senses something suspicious. Deby anxiously just smiled at her. She can’t just reveal that it was actually all Kim Taehyung’s idea. He wanted to celebrate their graduation & sponsored all the expenses- from the event place up to the foods & drinks. But Deby did all the work since he was so busy for the album production, concert tour & the latest performance in Billboard Music Award. He just calls sometimes to check how the progress was and of course, asking how was Anna doing. Taehyung knew how Anna avoided them and he can’t blame her. She was hurt so much and he wants to pass all the blame to his friend Park Jimin, but he also understands him.

Their relationship just happened to be so complicated. Taehyung & Deby were so affected when their friends broke up and both live a hell of lies that they were fine.

“It will not be a lavish party. Just to clear things up to you. It will be just a simple party. With friends! It’s not that expensive!” Then Deby laughed awkwardly.

Anna just nodded. She took a bite of the chocolate cupcake she ordered before asking a question which caught her best friend off guard.

“So, how was Kim Taehyung?”

Deby felt how her heart dropped to her stomach. She almost spits her coffee but still acts like it was just a normal question. She looked back to Anna with questions on her face.

Anna leaned back to rest on the chair. “What? I was just asking how he is. You thought I didn’t know you’re still going out with him?”

“Going out?!”

“Going out, I mean, literally going out. Not dating! Just going out to eat or maybe to catch up. Why are you so riled up?”

Deby just shook her head. “He’s fine.”

Anna scoffed. “Deby, look, it’s completely fine with me if you’re seeing him. I’m out with that shit. It’s your own life and if that makes you happy then I’ll support you. Taehyung is a nice guy. I just want you to be extra careful since you know he’s not a normal boy- next- door. Especially now that his face is literally all over the world. More eyes are watching every moved they make, and I don’t want you to experience the trouble I had when I’m still dating his. . . friend.” The last word most likely popped into the air.

Deby brushed her hair up. “Listen, Anna. Taehyung and I are just friends. We appreciate each other company. I’m always there for him as a friend. And I know… he feels the same way. I don’t want to jump to assumptions that he’s into me. Right now, what he needs is a friend. A true friend. In his world that slowly expanding for them, more and more people will try to latch on them, and he needs someone who will be true to him. That’s my role.”

Anna just smiled a little. “Well, then, fine. But be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt. It’s an unending loop of self- hatred, pain, and trauma.”

Deby nodded and reached for her best friends hands. “I know. I’ve witnessed how devastated you were before. That’s why I’m teaching myself to set boundaries as much as possible. Let’s enjoy what we have now and think later.”

#JiAnna Jimin Anna

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