#kind of just venting because i finally caught up with ls and the latest drama rip

[crossingalaxies]

hot take apparently but to me it’s tiring and boring and frankly a baffling way to approach tv or any other media to engage with fictional characters only to ‘judge’ them. like you can’t just let them make whatever mistakes they’re making or be as flawed and fucked up as they want without judging if they have behaved well enough for whatever standard you hold them up to and how they should correct their behaviour moving forward. are you watching a fictional show or filling up an employee evaluation sheet???

‘this character should have done this’ ‘that character should not have done that’ okay???? who cares. it would be supremely boring, not to mention unrealistic, if fictional characters only behaved in the most adequate perfectly reasonable way possible. so they fucked up? so they fucked up again and again and didn’t learn their lesson the first time? okay??? that’s life???

‘but we didn’t see this character learn from their mistakes and grow’. you ARE seeing it, it’s a process, not something that happens after ONE time they were confronted with their mistakes, especially if said mistakes are tied to one of their cardinal flaws rooted in the very essence of the character itself. it’s so much more interesting and rewarding to me as a viewer, not to mention easier for me to get attached to characters who are complete and utter messes, characters who stumble and fall, even when they should know better, characters who don’t immediately learn from their mistakes, who fail again and again, but keep trying to be better, and still through it all, they are loved, because they are deserving of it no matter what they think.

‘but this conversation should have happened sooner’ okay well it didn’t. people make dumb choices all the time, they act irresponsibly and unreasonably all the time, no matter how mature or level-headed they might be.

‘but this relationship doesn’t feel healthy’ okay here’s the thing: ‘healthy relationship’ has become just another buzzword that tiktok users throw around without understanding at all what it means. ‘healthy relationship’ doesn’t mean two people need to be on the same page about everything, it doesn’t mean mistakes are made once, dealt with and never made again; a healthy relationship isn’t based on 100% compatibility or perfect communication at all times and perfect solutions to every problem. it’s based on mutual respect and love and the willingness to make compromises, and to keep trying to understand each other better and choose each other every day. if there is a failure of communication or a disagreement or an inability to come to a perfect soultion for whatever issue, that in itself doesn’t make a relationship unhealthy. and honestly even if it did, so what? it’s fictional, it adds flavour! (not to mention expecting humans to always be perfectly emotionally healthy is... well not realistic, to say the least).

‘but they should learn to communicate better before they get married’ marriage isn’t some kind of prize that only perfectly functional couples are worthy of, some final achievement for the perfect relationship. relationships are changing and growing all the time, they don’t have to reach a perfect final level of ‘healthy’ before they can be awarded the prize of marriage. relationships keep evolving and couples keep learning more about each other all the time, during marriage just like before. the idea that a relationship is doomed unless it reaches its final form of perfection before marriage is crazy.

and on a final note, HOW do you watch a fictional couple that disagrees on having children work out not necessarily a final solution, but a compromise, with one of them admitting they have issues to deal with and trauma to process, and the other realizing that the kids issue is not a dealbreaker because ultimately what they want most is their partner, and come away thinking ‘well that’s not a very good relationship’?????