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firewoodfigs · 4 years

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Summary: Roy thought this was fine. Perfectly acceptable, in fact. Stolen, furtive kisses over daybreak and evening-time tasting of ginger tea and caffeine; the occasional quiet embrace or two filled with warmth and suppressed ardour. Little indulgences like these were enough to keep them hanging on to each other, to their shared resolve.

“... her eyelids flutter, her breath hitches, and Roy thinks there’s nothing more exquisite than the taste of her. Her morning coffee lingers within. Two spoonfuls of sugar, but it is the indiscernible hum in her throat that sweetens the kiss.”

(for @royaiweek day 5: picture prompt - lovers at sunset; part 6 of Royai Week 2020. thank you mods for the wonderful week! 💕)

~x~

It happened once, on Miss Hawkeye’s thirteenth birthday. Roy had overheard from some of her peers as he was making his way back from a trip to the nearby grocer’s that it was that strange girl’s birthday, and did you see, she didn’t receive any presents - does she even have any friends?

In truth, it wasn’t difficult to figure out why she was friendless. From the little time he’d spent with her in the Hawkeye’s manor she wasn’t the nicest person around. Roy had tried to approach her a few times in the spirit of the good Samaritan, but any attempts at friendliness had been met with hostility. Like that one time he saw her swinging alone on the makeshift swing in their backyard. He had offered to push her on the swing, but she’d pushed him in the chest instead before disappearing back to her room. Or the other time he’d offered to help her with her chemistry homework when he saw her struggling with a permanent scowl etched on her features, in which she had merely stormed off after remarking angrily that she didn’t need an arrogant city boy like him rubbing it in her face.

… Like he said, Miss Hawkeye wasn’t the nicest person around.

Nevertheless, in spite of her antagonism, Roy liked to believe that she was an inherently good person somewhere deep down, if one looked hard enough. Really hard. He’d seen her feed leftovers to the dogs that visited their backyard occasionally though she barely had enough to eat for herself. The Hawkeyes’ abject poverty also meant that food was scarce, but even then she always made sure he got the bigger portion instead.

(Of course, he had tried - multiple times, in fact - to insist otherwise, but any resistance he put up was only met with a baleful glare and a stiff upper lip.)

For the most part, therefore, he was content to leave her alone, and she generally seemed to prefer dogs to people anyway. His days were filled with studying and thick tomes and incomprehensible codes, and Roy was focused on becoming a remarkable, respectable alchemist. One that his aunt would be proud of. Any spare time he had was typically dedicated to trawling through the awfully dusty library in the Hawkeyes’ estate for research and reading.

But this was different.

Birthdays were special, sentimental, as his sisters had indoctrinated in him from the time he’d learnt how to count. Enough to count their birthdays, they claimed. Roy therefore felt terrible at the thought of her spending it alone, without so much as a single gift or birthday wish. From the little he’d gleaned from her relationship with Master Hawkeye it was clear that the man didn’t pay much attention to her, and he found himself wondering if his Master even remembered that it was his daughter’s birthday.

Sadly, his theory was proven right over lunch.

As usual, Miss Hawkeye had been the one to prepare their meals. While he wanted to help, the kitchen felt a little like Miss Hawkeye’s untouchable holy ground - except for the fact that even the removal of his shoes wouldn’t permit him to enter. He ended up waiting awkwardly in the living room, pretending to be engrossed in a thick alchemical tome for the rest of the afternoon amidst sizzling pans and fragrant spices.

When lunch was ready, they ate together as a trio, but neither Master Hawkeye or Miss Hawkeye made any mention of her birthday.

It was just like any other normal day - tense, quiet and sombre.

Afterwards, he returned to his studies, an uncomfortable feeling settling in his gut, but not from Miss Hawkeye’s cooking. Lunch had been fine - great, in fact. Her culinary skills were fantastic, second only to his aunt’s and sisters’. Miss Hawkeye didn't seem to react well to compliments, though, so he smartly refrained from singing her praises.

Alone in his room, the mangled mix of emotions only multiplied tenfold. He'd tried to distract himself with the textbooks strewn across his table, on his bed, but it failed. Nothing could pacify the guilt that had been gnawing at him.

Roy sat upright on his bed, pillow to his chest as he thought long and hard about Miss Hawkeye’s birthday.

He didn’t even know what she liked, and he most certainly didn’t want her to feel like he was lording his money over her. Ordinarily, he might have gifted his sisters with a handmade card, but he didn’t know her well enough to know the words to write. Saying thank you for being so kind and loving all the time didn’t seem to sit well for some reason, and given how sharp she was she would probably see through the lie.

So perhaps something that didn’t cost him anything, and didn’t require him to pen down his thoughts (because really, it was hard to have that many thoughts about a person who barely said much to him) would work best.

A piece of driftwood, or flowers plucked from a nearby bush, maybe?

But those sounded absurd, even to him, and he failed to see what purpose Miss Hawkeye had for those things. Maybe a place he could bring her to?

Then, it hit him like an epiphany. Of course.

He had recently discovered, during one of his recent trips to the forest when he’d been tasked by his Master to collect firewood, that there was a secret hideout that lay within. Oddly enough, that particular corner was unshrouded by trees, and the sunsets there were exceptionally breathtaking - especially when the sunlight refracted off the clear, emerald lake in the middle of the little sanctuary. Occasionally, Roy would take a short break on the abandoned bench to admire the view and empty his mind of the vicissitudes of life that plagued a fifteen-year-old. But the bench was large enough for two, and he sometimes yearned for a companion who could enjoy the scenery with him…

And now, Miss Hawkeye could.

He grinned excitedly as he sprinted over to her room, though when he arrived the wooden door suddenly seemed rather... intimidating.

But Roy was determined to make sure that Miss Hawkeye had a decent birthday, at least. Such occasions were not meant to be spent in isolation, in bitter solitude.

He would not falter.

Taking a deep breath, he mustered all the courage in him and finally knocked on her door, mentally rehearsing what he was going to say. Why am I getting so nervous, anyway? It’s not even a date -

She opened the door to stare at him quizzically. “Uh… hi,” he stuttered. Words eluded him.

“May I help you, Mr. Mustang?”

“Ah, yes... Would you mind taking a stroll with me?” With that one question the look of curiosity on her face was quickly morphing into scepticism, distrust.

“What for?”

“It’s your birthday, right?”

Now she was most definitely suspicious. “... How did you know?”

He gulped. “I… overheard some… things…” he finished lamely. “Anyway, I just wanted to give you a little gift, that’s all.” The large, overbearing grandfather clock in the hallway signalled that it was about five o’clock in the afternoon, and if they went now the timing would be perfect. “Nothing weird, I just wanted to show you a place. If you don’t mind?”

Miss Hawkeye scrutinised him carefully, as if searching for any hint of deception. He kept his palms open, pupils dilated in earnest, and gave his most charming, sincere smile.

When she was finally satisfied that he was being honest, she relented. “... Okay. But not for long, I have to be back to prepare dinner.”

He smiled sunnily at her in response. “Of course, Miss Hawkeye. Shall we go?” She nodded in agreement before following him quietly, and he was thankful for the relatively comfortable silence that had settled between them as they walked through the forest.

Miss Hawkeye was quite a sight to behold, he realised. The sunlight that crept through the dense crowd of trees cast a charming light on her stoic but pretty countenance, and in the forest she seemed a lot more relaxed; a childlike innocence and joy twinkling in her golden eyes. Her skirt billowed gracefully along with the falling leaves that frolicked in the autumn breeze, but despite her attire she moved lithely; feet shuffling through detritus with disconcerting familiarity and ease like she’d done this before.

Eventually, they arrived at their destination. A light sheen of sweat was beginning to form on their foreheads, but they found, much to their delight, that the sun was starting to set in brilliant shades of aureate and tangerine. Roy tugged at her wrist gently to lead her to the bench, to which she shyly obliged, settling them both onto their respective seats. “Here we are. Lovely, isn’t it?”

“It is. I’ve been here before, actually,” she said, fingers fiddling idly with the hem of her skirt as she gazed at the picturesque scene ahead, lulled by the sighs of the water and the gently rocking waves before them.

Roy was a little taken aback by this new revelation. “How did you know about this place?”

Miss Hawkeye’s fingers continued to pick at the threads, and he wondered how they hadn’t come loose by this point. “My mother used to bring me here, too, a long time ago,” she murmured softly, a brittle sort of reverence in her voice.

He stiffened, fervently hoping he hadn’t offended her in some way by bringing her here. “I… I’m sorry, Miss Hawkeye, if this place brings back bad memories.”

She shook her head, but though her lips were beginning to curve upwards in a small smile there was a poignant look in her eyes, like she was reminiscing a distant memory that could never be recreated. “No, it’s not like that. I just… it’s a nice place.”

“It is,” Roy echoed. The silence that had dawned upon them suddenly felt very awkward to him. He swallowed nervously, but decided to ignore the thoughts swimming in his head. Instead, he continued to stare at the sunset that was unfurling in front of them, silently hoping that Miss Hawkeye enjoyed her birthday gift.

“Thank you for bringing me here, Mr. Mustang,” she whispered, legs swinging in tandem with the water’s rhythm.

It broke him out of his reverie. Roy was delighted with the small affirmation that she did like her present, after all. He turned to look at her again, and was mesmerised by how tender she looked, saturated in orange. “Roy.”

“What?”

“Please, call me Roy.”

“... Okay.”

“Can I… can I call you Riza?” He asked, hoping she wouldn’t behead him there and then in the middle of the forest. She nodded imperceptibly while keeping her eyes ahead. Roy couldn’t tell if it was the sunset glow that painted her cheeks in the subtlest shade of scarlet, or if it was a blush.

Either way, he beamed, happy with the progress they had made. “Happy birthday, Riza.”

This time, the smile reached her eyes. Roy’s heart began to pulsate in his throat. He felt his breath being taken away, but he was unsure if it was because of the breathtaking scene in front of them or something else. For while the sunlight continued to scatter glittering diamonds on smaragdine, the sparkles dancing in her ochre eyes suddenly seemed infinitely more fascinating.

In front of them, their shadows began to lengthen with the sun’s movement, before slowly merging into one.

~x~

“What’s on your mind, sir?”

“Nothing, just appreciating the sunset,” Roy chuckled. After regaining his vision, he’d come to rediscover an appreciation for simple things that he might have previously taken for granted. But while the sight of the setting sun engulfing the tall buildings in Central was rather glorious in its own way, it paled in comparison to the warm, fulgent rays delicately kissing his Captain, painting her lovely visage in a warm, tender gold.

Roy often found himself wishing that he could be the one kissing her there and then instead during moments like these. Quite unfortunately, though, any semblance of a relationship they shared would have to remain strictly confidential. Their duty to make reparations took precedence over anything else, and in any case the anti-fraternisation laws were still in place.

Dating like two normal civilians were therefore prerogatives that they did not have.

But this was fine. Perfectly acceptable, in fact. Stolen, furtive kisses over daybreak and evening-time tasting of ginger tea and caffeine; the occasional quiet embrace or two filled with warmth and suppressed ardour. Little indulgences like these were enough to keep them hanging on to each other, to their shared resolve.

Anything beyond that - holy matrimony, domesticity and normalcy, perhaps a family of three - probably teetered dangerously close on the precipice of avarice.

This too, shall suffice. Roy ran a hand through his unkempt hair, as if doing so would quell his desires, before turning to give her a soft smile. A conspiratorial whisper, one that only she could hear. “And you.”

“I see,” she replied impassively, although the gears in her brain were already clicking as memories of her thirteenth birthday flashed behind her eyes. Speaking of sunsets and birthdays…

Of course, it didn’t escape her that Roy’s birthday was coming up soon, the same way his daily schedule was never a mystery to her. Birthdays weren’t a particularly special occasion to Riza, but Roy liked to make it so.

She smiled gently as she observed fire dancing in obsidian, suddenly overwhelmed with gratitude that his schedule was mercifully empty for the next few days.

Perhaps a trip to Tobha is in order.

~x~

The train ride to Tobha was one filled with companionable silence as vast conglomerations of buildings faded past them into rustic fields and lush valleys of green. Roy picked indolently on a slice of cake that the train staff had kindly provided for their journey. Whether this was a surprise of sorts from his beloved Captain, he wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t help chuckling at the memory of almost-begging a young girl to follow him somewhere on her birthday nearly decades ago.

The close proximity between them now reminded him of that memory - the first time he’d inched so close to her without a looming death threat. But now, sitting so close to one another felt like second nature. Wherever they went, his feet always somehow drew him subconsciously nearer to her, and vice versa; revolving around each other like planets in orbit. In some ways, he supposed their presence had the effect of pulling each other in like gravity.

Slowly, he encroached into her personal space to lean his head on her shoulder. Then, he took her right hand in his (hers were smaller, colder) and ran a thumb gently across her knuckles, committing every callused ridge and line to memory to reassure himself again that this wasn’t a dream. That she was well and alive before his very eyes; eyes that could see once more.

“What are you doing, sir?” Riza muttered under her breath, an accusation and a protest. She’s a little embarrassed by how overtly affectionate he was despite the cabin’s privacy.

Roy, on the other hand, could care less.

“There’s no one else here,” he whined, like he was fifteen again. “And it’s my birthday, so let me have this privilege, please?”

She doesn’t bother deigning him with a verbal response. But with a free hand, she cards through his unkempt hair, and Roy feels the faint thrumming of a quickening pulse as she does so. He grins triumphantly to himself before allowing the inconsistent rhythm to lull him to sleep. It’s the most peaceful slumber he’s had in months: he dreams of gossamer webs and sunsets in autumn, reliving a treasured adventure, a cherished memory.

It’s short-lived, though. Soon enough, he’s awoken by her shoulders shrugging against his neck. “We’re here, sir.”

Roy places a finger on her lips. “Please call me Roy,” he requests politely, mirth and nostalgia dancing in his eyes as she rolls hers.

“Fine, Roy. Shall we go?” Roy can’t help but let out an unbridled, wholehearted laugh. It feels a little like a fairytale told in reverse, he thinks. One that he doesn’t mind countless retellings of.

“Of course, Miss Hawkeye,” he replied, intertwining his fingers as they got off the train. She grumbled at his idiocy, but was nonetheless thankful for the lack of prying eyes in this isolated, raffish town.

Together they walk to the forest, hand in hand, and with a quick glance at his pocket watch Roy realises it’s five. The perfect time to watch the sunset. Roy already has a rather accurate idea of where they’re going, but nonetheless obliges - teasingly, of course - when Riza tells him to close his eyes as they pass through magnificent woodland. The smell of wood and damp earth makes for a cornucopia of childhood innocence, one that he’s more than happy to immerse himself in.

“Close your eyes, Roy.”

“Or what, you’ll blindfold me? I didn’t know you were into stuff like -”

“On second thought, maybe I’ll just knock you out myself.” Riza glares at him, feeling like he’s just ruined the magic of the moment with his predilection for bad jokes.

Roy laughs again before complying, lifting his hands to cover his eyes. As he peeks through the infinitesimal gaps, he sees her shaking her head in exasperation, but the slightest hint of amusement makes itself known in the form of a subtle smile.

“Okay, now follow me.” Riza says, and he does. It’s easy to follow her. Roy knows her so well by this point that he understands every change in pitch, every hitch of her breath, every tug at his arm like simple chemistry.

(There’s an electrifying chemistry in the air between them, and he wishes he could seal it with a kiss right there and then.)

Patience, patience.

“I’ll follow you into hell if you wish, Riza,” he opts for teasing her again, and though his eyes are closed, he can already envisage her scowl in his mind.

Regardless, she’s still a sight to behold, as she’d been as a thirteen-year-old.

“We’re here,” she announces a little excitedly, breathily. Instinctively, Roy removes his hands from his eyes to cover her open palm instead.

Tugging at her wrist gently, he leads her towards a wooden bench that’s all too familiar. It’s a little weather-beaten by time and rain, but sturdy all the same: it supports their weight comfortably as they sit, bodies adjacent to each other. Their shadows merge once more as the sun bathes their silhouette in crimson and orange. Roy pulls her in with an arm and relishes in the contact, sneaking a glance at her every so often while she watches the sunset unfold.

Before them, the vivid blaze began to soften into a gentle lilac as the lake drowned out the final vestiges of the sun. Any worries and sins and tragedies that might have plagued them receded like a spectre with the setting sun to give them a moment of undisturbed quietude. It’s incredible to watch, and Roy might have been fascinated by the show if he wasn’t so entranced by the way it reflected in Riza’s eyes; the scarlet mottling her cheeks (he’s pretty sure it’s a blush this time).

Lost in admiration, Roy doesn’t even notice that the enormous sky above them has turned a deep, dark blue until she points out that the first star of the night has appeared.

“Could be Venus instead of a star,” he muses out loud.

“You really have an uncanny ability to spoil things, Roy,” Riza frowns.

“Well, in Roman mythology, Venus was the goddess of love and beauty, and also sex and fertility...”

“... Let’s narrow it down to the goddess of love. Your point being?”

Her question is pure rhetoric at this point as she turns to look at him. Their noses bump against each other’s, but neither makes a move to withdraw. Roy leans in closer, nearer, the same way there was no distance separating their hearts.

Finally, their lips touch, and it feels a little like stars are being born in the enormous universe above them. It starts off tentative, gentle. Riza runs her hands tenderly through a crown of raven black to draw him deeper into the kiss, decades of pining and memories and love unfurling beneath them. It continues like a slow waltz, as though they had all the time in the world, but soon it quickens into a passionate, heated dance as they open their mouths to offer an invitation to explore charted territory. Her eyelids flutter, her breath hitches, and Roy thinks there’s nothing more exquisite than the taste of her. Her morning coffee lingers within. Two spoonfuls of sugar, but it is the indiscernible hum in her throat that sweetens the kiss.

“Happy birthday, Roy,” she whispers after they pull apart.

“Not Mr. Mustang?” Roy manages to quip, a little breathless himself.

Riza sniggers good-naturedly. Idiot. “No, sir.”

He flashes her a smile, one of bittersweet understanding, before leaning in to press his forehead against hers. “Let me savour this moment for a bit more before we get back to business, Riza.”

“Of course, Roy.” She supposed they could afford just this one moment of indulgence before resuming their roles as Brigadier General and Captain.

At the very least, we’ll have these hours of glory to keep our hearts alight, alive.

#royaiweek20 #royai #royai fic #young royai #secret relationship hehe #we're all saps for royai here #finally figured out how to share fics from ao3 onto Tumblr LOL #pls lmk if there are any grammatical errors my brain is not working anymore

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lolmouseywritings · 4 years

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Jin Sibling Au Part 4

I’m continuing the rest of the sibling au here! The original started on my main blog @a-nonny-mouse-0 but I’m moving it here.

After getting so much help from Guangyao, Jixuan notices that his older brother has a crush on Xichen. (He’s not entirely sure, but he catches the subtle longing gaze)

He tries to ask WWX and Jiang Cheng but there is some misunderstanding and now he walks away angrily.

Phoenix Mountain

Yanli and Jixuan are talking, but this time their conversation is much more positive. Jixuan gives her the formal apology which causes Yanli to cry in happiness. WWX catches her crying and proceeds beat up Jixuan only Yanli to stop him to explain what happened. WWX apologizes (relunctantly) but tells him to watch himself.

Jin Guangyao had no plans to help the Wens. He was content to wash away his guilt and get rid of them so his father can be praised from the other sects for getting rid of the last of the Wen dogs. He does not feel guilty. LIAR!

Same thing happens Jin Jixun offers the wine, WWX drinks Lan Wangji’s cup and then the demand on where the Wen’s are.

Jin Jixuan pulls his cousin aside and tells him it’s distasteful of him to offer wine to the Lan’s. Jixun tells him he has no shame and how dare he turn on the family. The rumors of him not wanting to hang out with his family (He only went to the JC and WWX to help A-Yao, they’re not friends!), asking his father to leave the Wen dogs (so what? he heard from Yanli how two of them helped her and her brothers. Is it wrong to talk in favor of them? They saved Yanli.) and to top it off, his friendship with bastard child Yao. How his mother must weep.

Jixuan does punches him. It felt fantastic defending his brother, it’s just too bad it had to be with his cousin Jixun. He gets pulled aside and instead of talking with his father, it’s with his mom, Madam Jin.

Not a cheerful conversation between both as his mom just abhors Guangyao but concedes to not trouble him since it is Guangyao’s help that has made Jixuan’s courting successful with Yanli.

Note: Madam Jin may not accept Jin Guangyao. She just reminds me of the Greek goddess Hera. She may never punish the women whom her husband has a relationship with, but she sure doesn’t want their kids in her house.

Jin Guangshan rallies the other clans, in private he has Jixun to get back at WWX and Jin Guangyao offers to help only to be ridiculed. He is called a failure and a disgrace and to leave his prescence at once. Guangyao leaves and keeps a calm demeanor as he finds a place to be alone until he bumps into Xichen.

They talk and Xichen consoles him when he finds out that he’s not getting father’s approval.

It was odd. Ever since Guangyao was taken in by the Jin Sect, things changed, but not for the better. It may be because he knew him as Meng Yao and spent time with him. He could tell what was happening, maybe his brother could, but he was trying to court Lady Yanli, so he may not be aware yet. Didn’t matter now. He was here trying to console him, but he didn’t want to be touched. He curled into himself, sitting in a fetal position hiding his face. Like he wanted to shut the world. Once again he found himself at a loss. It was his advice that led him to following his father's order’s only to face ridicule, and all he could do was sit there and wait. Leaving wasn’t an option and he couldn’t do it. Frustrated with his in ability to help Guangyao, Xichen pulls out Liebing and plays the Song of Clarity. After a while the sniffle’s diminish and Guangyao just stares at him as he plays. When he’s finished, he turns to look at him. “Would you like for me to continue?” Guangyao shakes his head. “It’s not necessary.” He gets up. “Sorry for my-” Xichen shakes his head. “Please, don’t apologize. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help much.” This time it was Guangyao, with a light smile, shaking his head. “No, it was enough to have you here by my side,” replied Guangyao. Xichen’s heart felt tight with happiness. “Thank you venerated brother.” Ah, the sweet cruelty Guangyao delievered as Xichen held back a sharp inhale. Donning his usual smile, he did the only thing he could. “Of course,” he says as they both bid farewell for now, watching him as he left, gripping Liebling.

Mingjue is getting ready to leave when catches sight of his two venerated brothers. He’s surprised when he sees an upset Guangyao. (He’s seen Guangyao upset, but this one looks different from before. He’s hiding his face and hugging himself as if he want’s to out right dissapear.)

He also catches sight of how Xichen is looking at him and now wonders which one had an ulterior motive for making the vows.

Note: He still does not trust JGY, but that does not mean he won’t ignore that Xichen did something sneaky. Xichen, what was the reason for sharing cups and making those vows again?

Jixun and Jixuan do talk, and Jixuan realizes that Jixun may be jealous of Guanyao. He feels replaced and forgotten. Jixuan reasures him that he has not forgotten him and he had no intention of making him feel replaced, but he would definitely not apologize for punching him.

Finally Jixuan gifts Yanli the Lotus Pond and asks for her hand in marriage.

Guangyao meanwhile spreads rumors about WWX and finding out how to utilize demonic cultivation under the orders of his father. The rumors are also making it harder for Jiang Cheng and WWX to stand together. So lo-and-behold how Jixuan ruins his father’s and brother's plan.

Seeing how Yanli is upset with the discord with her brothers and how much it means to her, Jixuan resolves to fix it. His brother told him not to worry about it that it should hopefully resolve itself in time, but he just can’t stand Yanli upset. He also knows that Jiang Cheng will not accept anything he says’s at face value (remembers when he tried to ask for advice).

When he sees Jiang Cheng he already has a plan. He knows it can backfire but if it works…

Tells Jiang Cheng that he’s happy to know that he’s the better younger brother. Jiang Cheng is confused until Jixuan spells out that he at least stood by his brother even though there were viscious rumors about him. Insulted Jiang Cheng states that he is definitely the better younger brother and marches to the Burial Mound.

Tells WWX to bring the Wens to Lotus Pier and together they will figure out how to keep the remaining Wen’s safe. Jiang Cheng later admits that it was ‘the peacock’ that insulted him and that he refused to be the worst younger brother. WWX only agrees to take everyone else to Lotus Pier because 1) The Wen’s really need a better place to settle, 2)A-yuan should really not grow up in a dismal place like this and 3) that “Peacock” is not allowed to challenge his brother this way. No way!

Guangyao finds out what Jixuan did

Guangyao: Did you just dimantle all the careful planning I did for father? Jixuan: *looks at Yanli with hearts in his eyes ♪(´▽｀) * huh? did you say something?

Guangshan uses this as an opportunity to force WWX to give up the Stygian Tiger Seal or he will not allow Jixuan and Yanli to marry. WWX knows why he can’t give the Stygian Tiger Seal, but he doesn’t want to ruin this for Yanli. Yanli takes the choice from WWX and tells Jixuan that she can’t marry him. Guangshan calls for a conference.

Jixuan is pissed at his father and goes to him during a conference with the other sects to demand his father to stop his bullshit and that the only reason he wants the seal is for a power grab. (Yeah, he’s pissed that he finally connected with Yanli and seeing her in tears is NOT OKAY!) Guangshan has him ordered out of the conference. Things don’t go well for the Jin Sect when Mingjue questions Guangshan about the Stygian Tiger Seal and whether he would take advantage of the situation. The Conference ends in a failure.

Meanwhile, Madam Jin is furious at Guangshan. She does not like Guangyao but at this point her son’s happiness is on the line and she knows Guangyao knows more than he lets on. She orders him to appear before her and to tell her what exactly he did. He admits his deeds but that he only did what his father asked of him. This pisses her off as she knows how loyal Jixuan is to him and tells Guangyao so.

He reminds himself that he actually values his brothers loyalty and love than the father who had no such intention of giving him any. So know Madam Jin and Guangyao team up (for now) to have Guangshan to back off. He has but is still refusing on continuing any more marriage prospect between the Jin and Jiang Sect. (cue Madam Jin getting ready to blow up Carp Tower only for Guangyao to tell her to please let him handle this).

OMG this took me two days! TBH I was house hunting so yeah that would take time, second one was Jin Guangyao as I kept writing I realized he was starting to sound sappy.

Guangyao is a character I’m trying to keep in character and honestly if I was writing this properly I may be able to convey him correctly but... *still thinks about the WIP I’m still working on* Not going to attempt.

*Secretely may. There’s a lot of things I wanted to write like the Yanli and Jixuan interaction but yeah.

I may do one more post of the Jin Sibling AU. I feel like it’s nearing the end. However if anyone is interested in anything else that happens in this Au go ahead and leave an ask or comment. Now I’m going to chill for a bit before I finish writing up the last part on my notebook to organize my ideas.

#jin sibling au #mdzs fanfiction #more like an outline #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mo dao zu shi #mao dao zu shi #MDZS au #Jin Jixuan #jin guangyao #Jiang Yanli #Lan Xichen #xiyao #xuanli

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roman-catholic-mass-readings · 6 years

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14th February >> Mass Readings (USA)

Thursday, Fifth Week in Ordinary Time

Saints Cyril, monk, and Methodius, Bishop.

Thursday, Fifth Week in Ordinary Time

(Liturgical Colour: White)

First Reading

Genesis 2:18-25

The Lord God brought her to Adam, and the two of them became one flesh.

The Lord God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.” So the Lord God formed out of the ground various wild animals and various birds of the air, and he brought them to the man to see what he would call them; whatever the man called each of them would be its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, all the birds of the air, and all the wild animals; but none proved to be the suitable partner for the man.

So the Lord God cast a deep sleep on the man, and while he was asleep, he took out one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. The Lord God then built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man. When he brought her to the man, the man said:

“This one, at last, is bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh;

this one shall be called ‘woman,’

for out of ‘her man’ this one has been taken.”

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one flesh.

The man and his wife were both naked, yet they felt no shame.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 128:1-2, 3, 4-5

R/ Blessed are those who fear the Lord.

Blessed are you who fear the Lord,

who walk in his ways!

For you shall eat the fruit of your handiwork;

blessed shall you be, and favored.

R/ Blessed are those who fear the Lord.

Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine

in the recesses of your home;

Your children like olive plants

around your table.

R/ Blessed are those who fear the Lord.

Behold, thus is the man blessed

who fears the Lord.

The Lord bless you from Zion:

may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem

all the days of your life.

R/ Blessed are those who fear the Lord.

Gospel Acclamation

James 1:21bc

Alleluia, alleluia.

Humbly welcome the word that has been planted in you

and is able to save your souls.

Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel

Mark 7:24-30

The dogs under the table eat the children’s scraps.

Jesus went to the district of Tyre. He entered a house and wanted no one to know about it, but he could not escape notice. Soon a woman whose daughter had an unclean spirit heard about him. She came and fell at his feet. The woman was a Greek, a Syrophoenician by birth, and she begged him to drive the demon out of her daughter. He said to her, “Let the children be fed first. For it is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.” She replied and said to him, “Lord, even the dogs under the table eat the children’s scraps.” Then he said to her, “For saying this, you may go. The demon has gone out of your daughter.” When the woman went home, she found the child lying in bed and the demon gone.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you Lord Jesus Christ.

———————-

Saints Cyril, monk, and Methodius, Bishop

(Liturgical Colour: White)

First Reading

Acts of the Apostles 13:46-49

We now turn to the Gentiles.

Paul and Barnabas spoke out boldly and said, “It was necessary that the word of God be spoken to you first, but since you reject it and condemn yourselves as unworthy of eternal life, we now turn to the Gentiles. For so the Lord has commanded us, I have made you a light to the Gentiles, that you may be an instrument of salvation to the ends of the earth.”

The Gentiles were delighted when they heard this and glorified the word of the Lord. All who were destined for eternal life came to believe, and the word of the Lord continued to spread through the whole region.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 117:1bc, 2

R/ Go out to all the world and tell the Good News.

R/ Alleluia.

Praise the Lord, all you nations;

glorify him, all you peoples!

R/ Go out to all the world and tell the Good News.

R/ Alleluia.

For steadfast is his kindness toward us,

and the fidelity of the Lord endures forever.

R/ Go out to all the world and tell the Good News.

R/ Alleluia.

Gospel Acclamation

Luke 4:18

Alleluia, alleluia.

The Lord sent me to bring glad tidings to the poor

and to proclaim liberty to captives.

Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel

Luke 10:1-9

The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few.

The Lord Jesus appointed seventy-two other disciples whom he sent ahead of him in pairs to every town and place he intended to visit. He said to them, “The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few; so ask the master of the harvest to send out laborers for his harvest. Go on your way; behold, I am sending you like lambs among wolves. Carry no money bag, no sack, no sandals; and greet no one along the way. Into whatever house you enter, first say, ‘Peace to this household.’ If a peaceful person lives there, your peace will rest on him; but if not, it will return to you. Stay in the same house and eat and drink what is offered to you, for the laborer deserves his payment. Do not move about from one house to another. Whatever town you enter and they welcome you, eat what is set before you, cure the sick in it and say to them, ‘The Kingdom of God is at hand for you.’”

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you Lord Jesus Christ.

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seekfirst-community · 2 years

Text

"WHAT IS FAITH?

IT IS THE CONFIDENT ASSURANCE THAT SOMETHING WE WANT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. IT IS THE CERTAINTY THAT WHAT WE HOPE FOR IS WAITING FOR US, EVEN THOUGH WE CANNOT SEE IT UP AHEAD." (HEBREWS 11: 1 TLB).

"At that time Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a Canaanite woman of that district came and called out, “Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David! My daughter is tormented by a demon.” But he did not say a word in answer to her.

"His disciples came and asked him, “Send her away, for she keeps calling out after us.” He said in reply, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But the woman came and did him homage, saying, “Lord, help me.” He said in reply, “It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.”

"She said, “Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters.” Then Jesus said to her in reply, “O woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed from that hour." (Matthew 15: 21 - 28).

Wednesday 3rd August 2022 of the 18th Week of Ordinary Time.

In our key Scripture for today, Jesus said to the Canaanite woman: “O woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed from that hour." (Matthew 15: 28).

What is faith?

Before the Annunciation of the Angel Gabriel, Mary knew God as Almighty, All-knowing, All-powerful, All-loving, All-merciful, etc. Her profound personal knowledge of God is the foundation of her faith.

The Canaanite woman is a believer who was searching desperately for a miraculous healing for her child. She heard about Jesus from a friend or a neighbor. She believed immediately what she heard about the miraculous powers of Jesus. She packed her bag and went in search of Jesus. Her strong faith and expectations created resilience in her. She was prepared to be rebuffed by Jesus and was determined to have her miracle.

The Bible praises faith as one of the greatest gifts of God and a profound mystery. A little child is capable of great faith as a very old woman. Saints Catherine of Siena and Therese the Little Flower came to great faith at the age of six.

Some quotes on faith:

#1 "The just shall live by faith." We live by faith and not by sight or feeling. Like the Blessed Virgin Mary, we live by the word of God that cannot fail.

#2 "We are saved by grace through faith."

#3 Faith comes by hearing the personal word of God to you and saying a firm Amen to it.

#4 God's grace is abundant to save us and fulfill the desires of our heart but you must accept the word you receive in faith.

The 11th Chapter of Hebrews is the list of some of the most important people in the Bible. They all achieved fame and greatness through their faith.

You too can overcome every challenge through faith. Two great tools to help develop your faith:

#1 Daily consumption of the word of God.

#2 Daily conversation with God through prayer.

Since you know this, you will be blessed if you do it.

Daily Bible Verse @ SeekFirstcommunity.com

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bolbianddolanhouse · 5 years

Text

BNHA self insert AU

New to the AU? Start here!

Chapter 34: Road Work Ahead? Uh Yea, I Sure Do Hope it Does!

It’s been 2 months since the club meet up with Tenya and he hasn’t contacted me since. I’ve seen more of his brother than him! I start to wonder if I did something wrong or if he changed his mind about fixing our friendship. But what the hell do I know?! I’m just the fool that’s glued to their phone, waiting for the other person to respond.

“Hey I got Big Bro Ingenium on the line” Mimi whispered to me has she held the phone on her chest “he’s wondering if you can go do a house call, Pongo got some coat damage.”

I check the time, it’s almost noon “Hmm, for today?”

“Yeah, he’s at his family estate for something and needs the repair.”

“Hmmm alright I can go” I get up to stretch “ask for the address and I’ll be on my way.”

She finishes the phone call and turns to me after hanging up “Are you going home after? I know you said that you were just going to do some inspection with me then leave for the day” she got a little uneasy, like she was trying to reword what she was trying to say “because of your important-”

“Yea I’m going home after” I cut her off because I didn’t want to hear whatever she was trying to say “I do need to prepare for it, I’ll let you know when I’m heading home.” I pack the house call kit and head to the Iida Family estate. I didn’t know they had one and it was very elegant and grand in size.

“Oh you must be the CEO!” exasperated a one of servants “I didn’t know you came personally to house calls.”

“I like working closely with my clients” I warmly smile “plus the Iida sons are my friends, I’d do anything for them.”

“How warm and generous you are!” they praised “Tensei was right, you are very humble and kind. Speaking of which, he has to be fitted upstairs at the moment but he docked Pongo in the parlor for you.” they gestured me to a hallway on the right “come follow me.” When I entered the parlor, it was like something out of a book. The couches were vintage, pictures of relatives in decorative frames and it was spacious but had that cozy-homely feeling to it. “I’ll leave you to your work and I’ll let Tensei know you’re here.”

“Thank you so much, I appreciate it!” I responded right as they left. I get to checking for the damage “Hmm, tears in the legs huh?” I boop the robo on the nose “have you been jumping a lot Pongo?”

“Yes, being a service companion for Tensei requires excessive jumping” responded the robo “but he is a nice person, he plays with me like a real dog.”

“How sweet” I gushed “I’m so happy you’re being well loved and cared for” I take out the sewing kit “time to get you all stitched up and ready.”

-Meanwhile upstairs-

“Excuse my intrusion, but Miss CEO is here and in the parlor for the repairs.”

“Oh good! I’ll meet up with her in a few minutes” Tensei responded as he was trying on dress shirts “thank you!”

“SHE’S HERE?!” Tenya freaked out “why didn’t you tell me she was going to be here?!”

“Because I want you to grow up and talk to her!” Tensei scolded “Tenya it’s been months since you last saw each other and you can’t just hide and ignore her!”

“But I really crossed the line” he sighed “she probably thinks I’m some sort of pervert now.”

“Will it KILL you to just go downstairs and say hello to her?” Tensei crossed his arms “and if you’re feeling bold, ask her to our estate ball tonight.”

Tenya deflates in defeat “Fine, I’ll go and face her.”

“Good! Don’t forget to make me best man at your wedding!” he teased as his little brother left the room.

Tenya was blushing hard as he made his way to the parlor, thinking of ways to apologize about the other night. He walks in to her sewing the robo’s hind leg tears “Um, hi.”

“Hm? OH hi Tenya!” I stood up, dropping her sewing needle “long time no see!”

“Yeah heh, well, about the last time-”

“Nothing happened” I interrupted him “you just didn’t want me to go home alone and you cuddled me” I stifle my laugher “then I heard you snore and realized you fell asleep on top of me! Oh it was so funny and it took me back to when I’d have to tuck you in after you threw up at the intel parties.”

“Oh that’s even more embarrassing” he cringed “I’m just as sorry though, for my drunken affection and not contacting you after the fact.”

“I forgive you” I smile “I just want to spend time with you and catch up, it doesn’t matter how or when, I have so many things to share with you.”

“So do I” he relaxes “Oh before I forget! I’d like to invite you to our family estate ball.”

“Oh when is it?”

“Don’t get mad, it’s tonight at 6pm.”

“Oh shit!” I check my watch, it’s 2pm “hmmmm, okay I can come but I might be an hour late.”

“It’s totally last minute, you don’t have to come if you had other plans” he gets timid and gets red “heh like old times when I’d ask you to the dance.”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t have plans” I rolled my eyes “I was just going to laze about in my house without any pants and eat chips and salsa.”

He started laughing “Are you telling me that the most sought after, Millionaire and strongest woman in Japan...spends her free time without pants and eats chips and salsa?!”

“You ain’t gotta roast me like that” I nudged him playfully “those guys seeking after me just want my money and are ugly, plus I’ve already toured the country a couple times and my trainings are scheduled out...sooo I just do nothing because lo and behold! I’m single and lonely.”

“Single? Really?” he looked at her confused “I just thought-”

“That I’d be dating movie stars other famous people?” I do that little scoff-laugh “the only flirting they do is throw money at you! I rather be with someone that knew me before the fame but after my incident.”

“I see” he fixed his glasses “well, I’ll leave you to your work and see you later tonight?”

“I’ll be here!” I waved him off “see you later alligator!”

He walks away relieved and filled with those warm, fuzzy feelings that came with seeing her being cute and friendly. The flame grew bigger and the two were happy to have had meaningful conversation. Later that night, when the ball was a buzz with a mix of family and guests, Tenya’s anxiety was getting the best of him.

“Tenya, I’m sure she’s well on her way” Tensei said as he rolled into the patio area to check on his little brother “she wants to spend time with you.”

“But what if something happened?!” the little brother chopped tensely “she’s an agent and a highly sought out person! And she couldn’t call in time to tell me!”

“Sorry to interrupt” said a servant, popping their head out of the patio entryway “but Miss CEO is pulling up to the gate and sends her apologies for being a tad late.”

“See I told yo-” Tensei couldn’t even finish his sentence, Tenya ran into the house to be the first one to greet her.

“Welcome to the Estate Ball, Madam CEO” chanted two of the welcoming servants at the door “please allow us to open the door.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you.” I politely smile as they open the doors. I walk in with a floor length navy and gold satin gown with flared long sleeves, grandma looking heels and a decorative water lily head piece to compliment my updo. Lavish enough to make heads turn but enough to not be over dressed. In dashes Tenya and nearly crashes into the decorative pillar when he saw her.

“Oh oof, sorry, I MEAN” he stammered as he fixed his suit “you look stunning” he shakily holds her hand to kiss it “I’m so happy you came.”

“I can tell!” I giggled as he kissed my hand “sorry for being late though! I couldn’t decide what to wear.”

“You could walk in your UA uniform and everybody will compliment you on your fashion statements” he looked into her eyes “because you’re that beautiful and charming.”

“Oh uh thank you” I blushed because I wasn’t expecting compliments from him so soon “but tell me! who’s here?”

“Mostly family and the people they invited” he said as they lead them to the main area “come and have some cider and dance.”

The moment I walked in that room, people swarmed and separated me from Tenya for most of the night. We got one dance in but there was so many questions people wanted to ask and I didn’t want to come off as rude. I quietly slipped out to the dark part of the patio so I could catch my breath.

I heard the patio door slide open and saw Tenya “Oh you startled me! I thought you were somebody else.”

“I thought I might find you here” he said as he took a seat on the stone bench I was sitting on “it’s a nice night.”

“It is!” I responded as I looked up “summer is just around the corner too, expect the nights to be even nicer.”

“It reminds me of those talks we’d have in the tree” he turns to her “remember those nights? I missed having them.”

“Why? All we did was stargaze and talk about random things”

“Yeah but I felt very cherished when we’d have those talks in the tree” he partially put his hand on her hand “the wisdom you shared with me are things I’ll never forget. And the way you looked at me when you listened to me, it brought more out of me because it felt nice to have the full attention of somebody.”

Before she could say anything, her phone alarm went off “UGH! that’s my reminder alarm” I switch off the alarm to stop the sound “I wish I could stay longer and I feel bad because I wanted to spend more time with you.”

“You have to go? Well I suppose so, you’re a busy woman” he sighed “guess it’s hard to get a hold of you and I’m very fortunate that you spend what little free time you had with me.”

I get up and get an idea “Say, what are you doing this weekend?”

“Nothing, it’s my weekend off.”

“Lets go to the beach! Like that one time in 1st year” I get excited “please?! I really want to spend time with you and really close the gap of lost time.”

“The beach? Well we could go to the one we went to last time” he pondered “okay, lets BUT I’m driving this time. I got a license and car on my 20th birthday heh.”

“Oh wow look at you!” I teased playfully “such a gentleman! Lets go on sunday, I’ll text you the time and place to pick me up” I hug him good bye “I don’t care if this is out of line, I missed your hugs.”

The flashbacks of when she hugged him in the intel work room flooded back when she pressed her body against his. He hugged back “I forgot how small you are” both of their hearts were beating fast “and how soft and warm your embrace is.”

The two part ways and as Tenya turned to go in the house, big brother was waiting in the entry way. “WELL, WELL, WELL! Looks like things went well...”

“I don’t even care about your teasing right now” Tenya rolled his brother back a bit to go upstairs “my friend and I made plans for Sunday and I’m happy that she wants to spend time with me and just me.”

“Say what you want little brother” Tensei turns to the other direction “I still want to be best man.”

-Sunday, 3pm at the gated community-

“Hello, I’m here to pick up Miss Palma” Tenya nervously said to the guard at the gate.

“And your identity?” asked the guard as he looked at his tablet.

“Iida, Tenya.”

“Oh shit she wasn’t joking” the guard gasped “she is friends with Ingenium! Go right in, her place is the 2 story house on this middle lane, you can’t miss it.”

“Thank you!” he waves as he pulled forward. He drives a while and finally sees the house, it was a very sleek and modern looking house with a wide garage and tiled walkway. She walks out of her house and waves bye to the little dog standing behind her, “Hey, ready to go?”

“Yeah, just gotta wait for Muffin to activate the security field” she said as she walked quickly to the car. Seconds later, metal shields drop down on the windows and door. “all set! Did the guard give you a hard time?” she got in the passenger side.

“No they were really surprised that it was really me” he rolled up his windows “do you get guests often?”

“Not really, Bakugo and Kirishima come over every once in a while, Jin is my neighbor, Mimi lives in those condos two lanes behind mine” I start to recall “some of my trusted employees come over for dinner parties and my family when they visit, stay with me for a few days” she looked out to wave at the front gate guard “but other than that, I’m alone with Muffins.”

“Well, it’s a nice house and big too” he complimented “wish I could live in one of those communities, how much do you pay to live there?”

“I get my rent paid for because of the protection program I’m in” I put on chapstick “I bought the house about a year ago and made adjustments to it, so all I pay is electric and utilities, which is around 3,000 to 8,000 depending on if I had guests stay at my house that bill cycle.”

They talk about their living situations and work until they arrived to the place. Hiking to the top of the twin coves to see the unchanged scene from years ago, hand in hand, like they never separated. Same thing were Ita coaxes Tenya to jump in with her and the water is freezing cold. It felt more and more like they were friends again as they talked and laughed...they sit at their little set up on the sand to watch the sunset.

“I know that face” he said to her “what’s got you in deep thought?”

“Hm? Oh hehe I was just thinking” she faced him “that it’s been years since we were here together and that I’m super grateful that you want to repair our friendship” a smile spread on her face “thank you for filling that missing piece of my life, I’m happy again.”

He looked into her eyes and the flashbacks of all the times he wanted to confess to her and kiss flooded back. How could he waste another moment? He takes a deep breath “Actually, I have something else to say” he looked at his can of orange juice “something that has been on my mind for the longest time, it’s been eating away at me.”

“What is it?” I asked concerned “you can tell me anything.”

“I- um I’ve cared about you since the day I met you and I’ve tried to understand why you do things the way you do. We basically grew up together and you make me feel so included in your world that it feels surreal when I go back to the routine of my world.” his hand inches toward hers “I really thought I was someone special enough to experience that, but then you started to date and have casual intimate interactions with others. And for whatever reason that I didn’t understand at the time, I got jealous and sad that they were in the mix when I just wanted to be you and me. I got overprotective, almost possessive of you when somebody entered your interest.” He looked over to see her tentatively listening and sitting closer to him “The thought of somebody taking you away from me and making you smile, it hurts me because you make me so happy. So when Shinso told me that you asked him to move in with you, my heart shattered that you let him into your world when I’ve done so much more to be worthy of that spot.” his hand held hers, eyes locked “Ita, I fell in love with you and I never meant to hurt you all those years back, my anger was misplaced and I took it out on you. I took the time to realize that I was being irrational and I wasn’t worthy of your kindness. But here we are, and I’ll say it again, I love you and I want to be with you always.”

Tears poured from her eyes “Tenya, how long have you felt this way?”

“Since 1st year, when you told me you had a car” he said as he wiped her tears “I know it’s a lot to process and I understand if you don’t feel the same! I’m not saying I don’t want to be friends, I just wanted you to know.”

“Oh I’m so stupid!” I yelled and cried harder “Tenya, I feel the same way about you! I’ve had the biggest and dumbest crush on you since the car secret too. And I keep burying my feelings away because we’re friends and I don’t want to ruin the one friendship I had but there’s these moments that pop up where I just want to kiss you and not care if you don’t feel the same way. Your actions back then confused me because they read one way but you say something else, so I didn’t know how to feel sometimes. I’ve subtlety dropped hints that I liked you but you showed disinterest and I’d cry because I wasted my time assuming you did. All this time, I thought you were that close to me was because you pitied me because I was alone. When we were apart, I hoped that maybe one day you’d show up to apologize and I’d kiss you and tell you how I really felt.” she rubbed her eyes “you have no idea the amount of times I wished you’d ask me to be yours and hold me in your arms as I fall asleep. I’ve always wanted you Tenya, and I’m the fool that still did even after you hurt me.”

That confession shocked him to the core “You...feel the same way?” she nodded and looked away embarrassed “oh Ita, I’m the fool who deceived you! Don’t feel bad, look at me.” she turned her head and looked at him “better late than never” he held her hands up to chest level “wil-will you be my girlfriend? With the intention of being my life-partner? Because I am fully convinced that you are my soulmate.” before she could say anything, he interrupted with a secondary thought “wait, its that too bold to ask? It’s been years but we just reunited”

“Tenya”

“I mean I do feel that way but with how soon it is-”

“TENYA!” I yelled to get him to shut up “I’d love nothing more than to be yours. I accept your courtship.”

His eyes widen and time felt like it stood still, it was nothing like he imagined it but he was over-joyed “You mean it?! Oh Ita!” he hug-tackled her onto her back “I thought this day would never come! I’m so happy.”

“I can tell, I can’t breathe”

“Oh sorry!” he quickly lifted his torso from her and looked at her laying there, under him. With no hesitation, he feverishly kissed her and she reciprocated, lingering on each other. “Your lips are so soft, just like I’ve imagined them” he said after breaking the kiss “you’re my first.”

“Kiss?”

“Everything.”

“That’s the saddest shit I’ve ever heard” I giggled as I sat up “doesn’t matter now, we love each other and that’s all we need.” I shook the sand out of my hair and put my arms around his shoulders “hold me as the sunsets, like in the books.”

He held her as they watched the sunset, marking the end of their slow burn love. They couldn’t stop kissing each other or smiling, even on the ride home.

“Sooooo?” Mimi and Jin portaled into her house the moment she came home.

“Okay so you’re going to hate me” I started “we sort of... loved each other since 1st year and now we’re girlfriend and boyfriend.”

“AHHHH OH MY GOD YOU SOFT ASS BITCH!” they screamed as they squeezed me with their bodies.

-Meanwhile at Tenya’s apartment-

“How was it?” asked Tensei as his brother walked in.

“Tensei, became a man on that beach” he tossed the keys on the counter “I told her I loved her and she loves me back, we cried and I asked her to be my girlfriend.”

“Did she?-”

“She did and I had my first kiss as the sun set” he leaned on the wall “I still can’t believe that happened! We’re together at last.”

-The next day at RoboDog Inc, boss’s office-

“...and that’s the debriefing for the past month, production is slowed a bit due to the high volume of new client orders coming in.” Beizu was finishing his point when he noticed a slight change to Ita’s desk “Also not to be that person but what is with the new desk clutter?”

“Hm? Oh! I just wanted to put some pictures up on my desk” I responded as I wrote some notes on his debriefing “this weekend lowkey fucked me up on the way I was going about things.”

He looked at the pictures and saw some of family and one of Tenya and I “Isn’t that Ingenium? You two fixed everything?”

“Yeah, things are more than okay now” I smiled “also, about that scheduled sessions, they won’t be needed any more.”

“Woah you’re cancelling me?! What happened yesterday?”

“He said it, he’s always loved me the way I did” I looked at the picture he gave me on my 18th birthday “now we’re dating and I’ve never been so happy.”

“Well it’s about time he did” he laughed “we should all go on a double date! Mei is going to flip!”

To be young and have everything fall into place is a wonderful feeling. Even if the past comes back to haunt me, I won’t care because I finally got what I’ve been longing for and then some. No where to go but upwards from here.

-Chapter 34, End-

#bnha #mha #self insert au #chapter 34 #not canon #will update regularly #ask me anything #how many of yall cried?#I deadass had to write like 20+ chapters of slow burn to get here #BUT JUST YOU WAIT! it gets more latina dramatic

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darylwillfightnatureforcarol · 5 years

Text

You’re Wasting Away Chapter 3

Here is chapter 3.

This is a big headcannon of mine, that Daryl taught Carol to defend herself on the road. I know Rick would have been involved too but I like to ignore that lol. I like to think that it was Daryl’s teaching that turned Carol into such a good fighter and shot.

Also, I’d like to note that I’m aware Carol doesn’t get her signature knife until after she gets lost in the tombs in Season 3. I’m taking a bit of liberty here by introducing it like this instead. Hope you don’t mind :)

This is also Carol’s first walker kill!

Description: Daryl gives Carol a knife and teaches her how to use it. Then, she gets the chance to test out her new skills.

You’re Wasting Away

“So, you wanna make sure you hold it tight. The knuckle grip’ll help but you don’t wanna rely on it,” Daryl instructed as he held her hand in his.

Carol tried her best to think methodically about it.

She couldn’t help enjoying how surprisingly gentle his touch was. It was contradictory to the front he always presented, same as when he gave her the Cherokee rose.

It had taken little time for her to realise that behind his hard exterior was a gentle soul.

The knife was in her hand, her fingers through the holes of the grip.

He had manoeuvred her hand to grip it tighter than she had been.

It was, admittedly, a little uncomfortable, but she hoped it would become more natural as she gained experience.

“Alright. How does that feel?” he asked as he let go of her.

“Okay, I guess. Feels a little weird, but that’s probably because I’m not used to it,” she responded honestly.

He nodded understandingly.

She was glad he was being patient with her.

“That’s okay. The good thing is we got a whole group with us. If and when we find walkers, we’ll get some practice in for you.”

“Thanks again for this. I know it must be a pain, but I appreciate it.”

“Ain’t no bother to me. You listen well so you ain’t making it hard.”

She felt pride bloom at his praise despite his offhand tone.

She wanted him to be proud of her because his opinion mattered. She wanted to show him that she had more use than just cooking and cleaning. He seemed to have faith that she could do it so she would try her best to prove him right.

He took the knife from her then and slid it into its sheath. He handed her the completed piece.

“Clip that to your belt and make sure its above your clothes so you got easy access,” he instructed as she took it from him.

She hastened to follow his direction, clipping the knife in place on her hip. She tucked her shirt behind it and looked up at him for approval.

He nodded with a small upward tilt to his mouth.

The rest of the group was sitting around waiting to get moving again.

Rick had gone on ahead with Glenn to check out the road and look for a possible safe house for the night.

Daryl had, of course, offered to go with them, but Rick had told him to stay back and keep an eye on everyone.

Daryl had used the opportunity to take her aside and start teaching her about knives, gifting her one of her own.

Carol leaned back against the parked bike and watched Daryl as he began pacing the perimeter once more.

She was pleasantly surprised that he still allowed her to ride with him. She had begun to wonder when he would tell her to find another ride. She had thought he would appreciate the space without her. But he had not told her any such thing. She knew that she was welcome to ride with any of the others. She just felt safer with Daryl.

It was also beginning to become clear to herself that she harboured a bit of a crush on the hunter.

She snorted to herself. Crush? What was she, in elementary school?

“What?” Daryl questioned as he passed her.

She blushed and smiled tightly.

“Nothing, just lost in thought.”

He eyed her for a moment before he shrugged and turned his attention back to the area.

She sighed, rolling her eyes at herself.

They didn’t have time for this stuff anyway. They needed to focus on surviving.

Besides, he wouldn’t be interested in her like that.

---

Rick and Glenn had returned and informed everyone that they had found a house. Rick told them to wait back while he and some of the others cleared it first.

The ‘others’ he meant included Glenn, T Dog, Maggie and Daryl.

Carol had been ready to head over to stand with Hershel, Beth and Lori, but Daryl snagged her arm on her way.

“You wanna get some practice in?” he asked with a pointed look at her knife.

She couldn’t help the swell of anxiety inside her at the thought of confronting walkers, but she nodded her head quickly.

“You stay close to me and keep that knife up,” he instructed as she followed at his side.

Rick gave them a curious glance but said nothing as they moved toward the house.

It was a quaint, suburban home that once upon a time must have been charming to behold. It resembled nothing of that now.

The front yard was in ruin.

The lawn was strewn with bloody clothes and corpses. The flowers had been torn from their original beds and were decayed on the ground. The once chipper yellow paint on the weatherboard of the house was chipped and peeling and stained with unnamed fluids.

They stood against either side of the front door.

Rick, Glenn and T Dog on the left and Maggie, Daryl and herself on the right.

Her heart was beating so hard.

She was thankful that there was no evidence that walkers had advanced hearing.

Rick looked each of them in the eye, even Carol herself, which made her feel strangely joyful. Probably because it made her feel like she was essential.

She saw Daryl nod at Rick out of the corner of her eye.

Rick reached forward, turned the door handle and pushed it with one hand, the other holding his colt.

Glenn banged loudly on the door frame and they waited, listening.

There was no response so, with another glance to the group, Rick led the way inside.

Carol stuck as close as possible to Daryl’s back.

Rick made some strange hand motions that she didn’t understand, but of course, Daryl did.

Daryl pushed her shoulder gently and indicated with his head towards the first room in the hallway.

She followed carefully, trying not to crowd him. She didn’t want something to happen to him if she accidentally distracted him.

Daryl opened the door quickly and aimed his bow left and right as he stepped inside.

Carol shuffled in after him, clenching her knife tightly.

The room was empty, and her shoulders slumped in relief.

She kept expecting a walker to pop out from every corner and she knew she needed to calm down. Panicking was only going to make her a liability.

After examining the room for any potential threat, Daryl turned to glance at her.

His eyes held a question and she nodded to him to say that, yes, she was okay.

Satisfied with her response, he indicated with his head for her to follow him. He led her over to the door across the room.

He pushed it open and she followed closely.

She heard it before she saw it.

The growls and snarls made her heart jump.

Stupidly she waited for Daryl to take the walker down with his arrow as normal. Instead he lowered his bow completely.

The walker had been a man, but, as was the normal for them, it was practically unrecognisable as a human being.

He urged her forward and she inched closer nervously.

“You wanna aim for the eye socket, that’s a sure kill. Can’t always be sure their skulls are soft enough,” Daryl informed her, keeping his attention on the walker that approached slowly.

She gulped and winced at his words.

Her stomach turned at the thought of stabbing it at all. She shook the feeling away. She needed to be strong now.

“Okay,” she replied in a shaky voice.

Daryl gripped her shoulder gently making her look over at him with wide eyes.

“You good?” he asked in a concerned tone, looking her up and down.

She worried her lip, unsure whether she was or not.

“I’m right here, alright?” he reminded her, squeezing her shoulder gently.

She swallowed thickly and nodded.

Already she felt better with the reassurance.

Carol lifted her knife and edged closer to the walker.

It was snapping it’s jaws eagerly as it ambled forward, only metres away.

She was soon face to face with the walker, her nose screwing up as the scent of its rotting body hit her nose.

She thrust her knife forward aiming for the gaping hole of its eye socket, where the eyeball had already rotted away.

It sunk it slowly, making a squelching noise, which made her stomach roll.

She kept pushing the blade until she felt the corpse stop moving.

She wrenched her arm back, her knife coming out of the walker.

It slumped to the ground with a thud.

She stood staring down at the unmoving thing on the floor in wonder.

She had killed a walker.

It felt strange to acknowledge it.

Every time they ever had confronted walkers before now, one of the others would deal with it. She had never had an opportunity to even try before.

“Hey, you okay?” she heard from behind her and she realised that she had forgotten about Daryl’s presence. She turned around.

He was watching her closely, scrutinising her.

“I’m fine.”

He nodded but still looked worried.

“You sure?”

Carol nodded and then she grinned. She let out a breathy laugh.

“I’m better than fine. I killed a walker!” she cried as the weight of the statement hit her.

Daryl’s mouth turned up a little.

“Yeah, you did. You did good,” he complimented her, and she beamed.

His praise meant a lot to her.

“Thanks,” she said shyly, now feeling a little foolish for her glee.

Killing walkers was old news to him.

He only nodded, avoiding her gaze.

“Come on, there might be more. Let’s go find the others.”

She straightened her back and brought her knife back up to the ready as she followed him out of the room.

#caryl #carylers #caryl on #caryl fanfiction #caryl fanfic #carol and daryl #daryl and carol #carol x daryl #daryl x carol #carol peletier #daryl dixon

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seekfirstme · 5 years

Text

Meditation: What can pearls and narrow gates teach us about God's truth and holiness? In the ancient world pearls were of very great value and were even considered priceless. They were worn as prized jewels to make a person appear more beautiful and magnificent to behold. Holiness, likewise, is a very precious jewel that radiates the beauty of God's truth, goodness, and glory. God offers us the precious gift of his holiness so that we may radiate the splendor of his truth and goodness in the way we think, speak, act, and treat others. We can reject or ignore this great gift, or worse yet, we can drag it through the mud of sinful behavior or throw it away completely.

Pearls before dogs and swine

Why does Jesus contrast holiness and pearls with dogs and swine (Matthew 7:6)? Some things don't seem to mix or go together, like fire and water, heat and ice, sweat and perfume, pure air and poisonous vapors, freshly cleaned clothes and filthy waste. The Talmud, a rabbinic commentary on the Jewish Scriptures, uses a proverbial saying for something which appears incongruous or out of place: an ear-ring in a swine's snout. Jesus' expression about "pearls before swine" and "not giving dogs what is holy" is very similar in thought (Matthew 7:6). Jewish law regarded swine as unclean. Wild dogs were also treated as unfit for close human contact, very likely because they were dirty, unkept, lice-infested, and prone to attack or cause trouble.

What is the point of avoiding what is considered unclean? Jesus concern here is not with exclusivity or the shunning of others (excluding people from our love, care, and concern for them). His concern is with keeping spiritual and moral purity - the purity of the faith and way of life which has been entrusted to us by an all-holy, all-loving, and all-wise God. The early church referenced this expression with the Eucharist or the Lord's Table. In the liturgy of the early church, a proclamation was given shortly before communion: Holy things to the holy. The Didache, a first century church manual stated: Let no one eat or drink of your Eucharist except those baptised into the name of the Lord; for, as regards this, the Lord has said, 'Do not give what is holy to dogs.' The Lord Jesus invites us to feast at his banquet table, but we must approach worthily.

The law of perfect love seeks the highest good and best interests of one another

Jesus summed up the teaching of the Old Testament law and prophets with the expression, So whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them (Matthew 7:12) - and in the same breath he raised the moral law to a new level of fulfillment and perfection. God's law of love requires more than simply avoiding injury or harm to one's neighbor. Perfect love - a love which is unconditional and which reaches out to all - always seeks the good of others for their sake and gives the best we can offer for their welfare. When we love our neighbors and treat them in the same way we wish to be treated by God, then we fulfill the law and the prophets, namely what God requires of us - loving God with all that we have and are and loving our neighbor as ourselves.

How can we love our neighbor selflessly, with kindness, and genuine concern for their welfare? If we empty our hearts of all that is unkind, unloving, and unforgiving, then there will only be room for kindness, goodness, mercy, and charity. Paul the Apostle reminds us that "God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us" (Romans 5:5). It is the love of God that fuels our unconditional love for others. Are you ready to let the Holy Spirit transform your life with the purifying fire of God's love?

The narrow gate and way of life

Jesus used a second illustration of a narrow gate which opens the way that leads to a life of security and happiness (Matthew 7:13-14) to reinforce his lesson about choosing the one true way which leads to peace with God rather than separation and destruction. The Book of Psalms begins with an image of a person who has chosen to follow the way of those who are wise and obedient to God's word and who refuse to follow the way of those who think and act contrary to God's law : Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night (Psalm 1:1-2). When a path diverges, such as a fork in the road, each way leads to a different destination. This is especially true when we encounter life's crossroads where we must make a choice that will affect how we will live our lives. Do the choices you make help you move towards the goal of loving God and obeying his will?

The Lord Jesus gives us freedom to choose which way we will go. Ask him for the wisdom to know which way will lead to life rather than to harm and destruction. See, I have set before you this day life and good, death and evil... Therefore choose life that you and your descendants may live (Deuteronomy 3:15-20). Choose this day whom you will serve (Joshua 24:15). Behold I set before you the way of life and the way of death (Jeremiah 21:8). If we allow God's love and wisdom to rule our hearts, then we can trust in his guidance and help to follow his path of love, truth, and holiness.

"Let me love you, my Lord and my God, and see myself as I really am - a pilgrim in this world, a Christian called to respect and love all whose lives I touch, those in authority over me or those under my authority, my friends and my enemies. Help me to conquer anger with gentleness, greed by generosity, apathy by fervor. Help me to forget myself and reach out towards others." (Prayer attributed to Clement XI of Rome)

STRAIGHT STREET (ACTS 9:11)

"How narrow is the gate that leads to life, how rough the road, and how few there are who find it!" Matthew 7:14

The homilist at this morning's Mass gave a vivid example from his childhood of following the narrow way. In his youth, his scout troop was holding a skills contest. One of the skills involved riding a bicycle along a straight and thin line. To succeed in the contest, the bicyclist had to keep his wheels on the line.

When he focused on keeping the bike's wheels on the line, his wheels invariably strayed off in one direction or the other. He was getting frustrated by his inability to control his path exactly. The scout leader pulled him aside and advised him to focus ahead on the finish line instead of looking down at the line, and to also approach the start of the line with a bit of speed. To his amazement, he discovered that by looking at the goal with some forward momentum, he actually stayed on the line and found success.

This is an apt analogy for the Christian life. When we "keep our eyes fixed on Jesus" (Heb 12:2) and continue moving toward Him each day with our entire attention on the finish line (Phil 3:14), we can stay on the narrow path because Jesus draws us irresistibly to Himself (Jn 12:32). When we take our eyes off Jesus to focus on our own efforts and look at the path instead of the Lord of the path, we stray off the narrow way (see Lk 9:62). "Fix your eyes on Jesus" (Heb 3:1) and draw near to Him.

Prayer: Father, "draw [me] with human cords, with bands of love" (Hos 11:4). Promise: "He who does these things shall never be disturbed." —Ps 15:5 Praise: Trusting in the Lord to change hearts made Thomas a much better evangelizer. (This teaching was submitted by a member of our editorial team.)

Rescript: In accord with the Code of Canon Law, I hereby grant the Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") for One Bread, One Body covering the period from June 1, 2019 through July 31, 2019.

Most Reverend Joseph R. Binzer, Auxiliary Bishop, Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, October 24, 2018.

The Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") is a declaration that a book or pamphlet is considered to be free of doctrinal or moral error. It is not implied that those who have granted the Nihil Obstat agree with the contents, opinions, or statements

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sethmurfie-blog · 6 years

Text

WOW - [May 4, 4:18 p.m.]

MOTHER OF A WRECK. WOW.

AS I'M RUNNING AROUND CAMPUS TRYING FEROCIOUSLY TO FIND THIS MASK-COIN-GLOVE-HUMAN AND AM STARTING TO SWEAT AND PANIC MORE AND MORE, I HEAR A SOUND OF POPS AND CLICKS SOMEWHERE IN THE DISTANCE. I TURN THIS WAY AND THAT AND AS I DO SO, I BUMP UP AGAINST A LAMPPOST. SUDDENLY SOMETHING FALLS OUT OF MY SOMBRERO.

I LOOK DOWN AND SEE SOME PIECES OF SHINY PAPER AND SO I BEND DOWN AND PICK THEM UP, AND IN THE GLEAMING SUNLIGHT I SEE TITLES LIKE ASIAN INTERCULTURALITY AND A GUIDE TO CONVERSATIONAL JAPANESE AND JAPAN FOR DUMMIES. I STAND THERE, PUZZLED, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW THESE BROCHURES ENDED UP IN MY MAGICAL SOMBRERO HAT. THEN A CAR HORN BLEATS SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY AND IT SUDDENLY DAWNS ON ME:

THESE PAMPHLETS HAVE TO BELONG TO YOUKNOWFUCKINGWHO. PORRIDGE. SHE ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE PUT THEM IN MY SOMBRERO WHEN SHE HAD IT FOR A SHORT TIME AND NOW I HAD A POSSESSION BELONGING TO THE ABOMINABLE WITCH AND I WAS GOING GET THREE TIMES THE CURSE PURSE I'VE ALREADY ENDURED AND HOLY FUCK.

SO I IMMEDIATELY SHRIEK AND START JUST HIGH TAILING IT IN A COMPLETE FRENZY, NOT KNOWING IF I SHOULD THROW THE PAMPHLETS AWAY OR PUT THEM BACK IN THE SOMBRERO AND EVERYTHING'S BREAKING AND FALLING APART THE WORLD IS BASICALLY ENDING WHEN I BUMP INTO SOMETHING AGAIN, AND THIS TIME IT'S A PERSON. I LOOK UP AND SEE IT'S AN AUDIENCE MEMBER WATCHING A SHOW GOING ON ON AN OUTDOOR STAGE THAT'S BEEN SET UP NEAR THE PLANETARIUM. I HEAR THE POPS AND CLICKS AND SEE THAT LO AND BEHOLD IT'S THE MASKED-COIN-GLOVE-HUMAN AND THEY'RE JUST FINISHING UP THEIR SHOW.

SOMEWHERE IN THE CHAOS I’VE LOST BOTH THE SOMBRERO AND THE PAMPHLETS, BUT I JUST RUN RIGHT UP TO THE SIDE OF THE STAGE AND FIND THE MASK-HUMAN, WHO'S JUST ABOUT TO STEP DOWN BECAUSE THEIR SHOW HAS ENDED, BUT I STEP IN THEIR WAY AND IN MY MANIA JUST BLURT OUT "HELLO MY NAME IS SETH MURFIE AND RIGHT NOW I'M HAVING THE SHITTIEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE AND I'VE GOT MY BROTHER BEING ALL WEIRD AND I'VE GOT A GIRL WHO HAS CURSED ME WITH A BOTTLE FROM BUBBLE TEA ISLAND WHO I KEEP RUNNING INTO AND RECENTLY SHE USED MY SOMBRERO AND BEFORE I COULD UTILIZE MY BROTHER'S DOG TO STEAL IT BACK SHE MANAGED TO ENCHANT THE SOMBRERO AND FILL IT WITH PAMPHELETS ALL TO MAKE THIS CURSE WHERE I THINK ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME EVEN MORE UNBEARABLE AND NOW I'VE GOT THIS ASSIGNMENT THAT I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO TURN IN TODAY WHERE I NEED TO INTERVIEW SOMEONE SIGNIFICANT TO ME AND I'VE ENJOYED YOUR PERCUSSION DRAMADIES SO MUCH THAT IT HAS TO BE YOU SO CAN I PLEASE INTERVIEW YOU RIGHT NOW BEFORE THE WHOLE PLANET GIVES OUT AND I JUST UP AND BURST?!"

THROUGH THE MASK-HUMAN’S BODY LANGUAGE I CAN SEE THEY LOOK STARTLED AND THEY’RE JUST STANDING THERE HOLDING THEIR BACKPACK AND INSTRUMENT CASE, BUT BEFORE THEY CAN ANSWER I HEAR JUST A FEW FEET AWAY:

"tHe hoLe iN oNe iS—~rAgHh~—oNe iN tHe bUn~"

AND WE BOTH TURN OUR HEADS TO SEE BOWLBOY BARRY, WALKING STRAIGHT AT US.

I LOOK BACK AT THE MASK-HUMAN AND SAY "OH DO YOU KNOW BOWLBOY BARRY?" BUT INSTEAD OF ANSWERING, THE MASK-PERSON JUST FRANTICALLY POINTS TO THE PLANETARIUM AND THEN STARTS TO RUN IN.

I STAND THERE NOT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON AND AS I HEAR BARRY COMING EVEN CLOSER AND SAYING "a biG bOy's tReAt iS—~eRgGgHh~—jUsT as sWeEt~" I SEE THE MASK-HUMAN USE THEIR COIN-TIPPED GLOVES TO FRANTICALLY GESTURE FOR ME TO FOLLOW THEM IN, SO I WIPE THE SWEAT OFF MY BROW AND RUN IN AFTER THEM EVEN THOUGH I WOULD KIND OF LIKE TO CONFRONT BOWLBOY BARRY BUT ULTIMATELY I'M FEELING PRECIPITOUSLY CONFUSED,

AND AS I COME IN AND SEE THE MASK-HUMAN HURRIEDLY HOLDING UP TWO FINGERS TO GET TWO TICKETS TO THE PLANETARIUM SHOW, AND THEN THE HUMAN QUICKLY PAYS THEN TURNS AND HANDS ME A TICKET AND THEN RUNS INSIDE. I FAINTLY HEAR BARRY SAYING

"tHe hOnEy cAn'T LEaVe iF yOu'Ve—~gUhHhHh~—gOt tHe rEpRiEvE—" BUT I NEED THIS INTERVIEW SO I FOLLOW IN AFTER THE MASK-HUMAN.

AS I COME INTO THE DARK ROOM THE SHOW HAS ALREADY BEGUN, AND I HEAR A BIG, BOOMING VOICEOVER SAYING

/ The sun Is the closet star to planet Earth in all the galaxy. A powerhouse of heat and light, it— /

I SUDDENLY FEEL A TAP ON MY SHOULDER AND TURN AROUND TO SEE THE MASK-HUMAN STANDING THERE AND THEN SHOVING SOMETHING INTO MY HAND. I LOOK DOWN AND SEE IT'S THEIR CELL PHONE, AND IN IT THEY'VE WRITTEN A TEXT TO THEMSELF THAT SAYS:

Give me your number and then we can do the interview over text message without disturbing the show.

I STILL FEEL CONFUSED AND DON'T KNOW WHY WE'VE RUN INSIDE THE PLANETARIUM BUT I JUST SHRUG AND PUT MY NUMBER IN THE MASK- HUMAN'S PHONE, THEN I FOLLOW THEM INTO SOME SEATS IN THE MIDDLE ROW AND SIT DOWN TO LEAN BACK AND LOOK UP AT ALL THE FAKE STARS.

/ For centuries, man Has Worshipped and Studied the Sun, and out of ignorance Has Invented stories to Explain its power—sometimes Praising it as a goddess, other times Denouncing it as a demon— /

I FEEL A BUZZ IN MY POCKET, AND GET OUT MY CELL TO SEE A TEXT FROM A NEW NUMBER. IT SAYS:

What would you like to know?

I LOOK TO MY RIGHT AND SEE THAT MASK-HUMAN HAS ACTUALLY REMOVED THEIR GLOVES AND THEIR MASK, BOTH OF WHICH I CAN SEE SITTING IN THEIR LAP NEAR THE GLOW OF THEIR PHONE—HOWEVER IT'S FAR TOO DARK FOR ME TO MAKE OUT THEIR FACE. I LOOK BACK DOWN AT MY PHONE AND THEN JUST GO AHEAD AND TYPE IN THE FIRST QUESTION:

WHAT MOTIVATES YOU TO DO GOOD?

THEN I HIT SEND.

/ To this day the Sun Is an integral part of our way of life. Despite— /

MY PHONE VIBRATES. I READ THE RESPONSE:

If I see people in need or who seem underappreciated, I tend to want to help them. I don't know. I don't always do the right thing, but I usually try. I like to make people feel good if I can.

/ However, this looming and all-encompassing star we Call the Sun Will not Last forever. One day, when the heat and— /

AFTER READING THE MASK-HUMAN'S RESPONSE, I TYPE IN THE NEXT QUESTION, ONE I FORGOT TO ASK ROLAND RIGATONI. IT'S:

ARE YOU PROUD OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS?

/ The energy Will Begin to Collapse in on itself, Charging and Ricocheting, as the core slowly Begins to Shrink— /

MY PHONE BUZZES:

I am.

/ In a few moments you Will Witness the imploding mayhem of a red giant, as the outer layers of the sun gradually Begin to Expand more and more, Growing hotter and hotter, redder and redder— /

THE LIGHT IN THE ROOM IS STARTING TO INCREASE AS THE SUN ON SCREEN IS INCHES AWAY FROM DESTRUCTION, BUT IN THE FLOW OF THE INTERVIEW I JUST TYPE THE NEXT QUESTION, ANOTHER I FORGOT TO ASK RIGATONI:

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR OTHER INTERESTS?

MUSIC IS STARTING TO SWELL AND A BIG EVENT IS APPARENTLY ABOUT TO HAPPEN ON THE DOME ABOVE US,

BUT SUDDENLY I HEAR WHAT SOUNDS LIKE A DOOR OPENING JUST OUTSIDE THE THEATRE. BEFORE I CAN NOTICE IT TOO MUCH MY PHONE BUZZES AGAIN:

I like making people laugh, as well as grunge, anime, and I guess sometimes bowling.

ALL OF SUDDEN I FREEZE. BOWLING? GRUNGE AND ANIME? WHERE HAVE I SEEN THESE INTERESTS BEFORE? I'M TRYING TO FIGURE THAT OUT WHEN I HEAR FOOTSTEPS COMING CLOSE TO THE THEATRE BUT THEN THE SOUND IS CUT OFF BY THE VOICEOVER BOOMING

/ And just like that, on the precipice of a planetary nebula, the Sun, Will Burst. /

SUDDENLY RED LIGHT FILLS THE ROOM AND THE SEATS ARE ALMOST SHAKING FROM THE BELCH OF DRAMATIC MUSIC AND SOUND EFFECTS GOING ALL OVER THE PLACE, AND I SQUINT TO LOOK TO MY RIGHT, WHERE THE LIGHT IS NOW SUFFICIENT ENOUGH FOR ME TO SEE TWO EXTREMELY FAMILIAR EYES GAZING UP IN AWE AT THE SHOW ABOVE US, AND WITH A JERK OF MY HEART I STAND UP AND NEARLY FALL BACK OVER MY SEAT AS I SCREECH AND BLURT OUT

"P-P-PORRIDGE!!"

AND AS SHE LOOKS UP AT ME, I SUDDENLY HEAR IN A NEAR CORNER "tHe giRL iS miNe iF yOu—~uGhN~—tHiNk I cAn rHyMe~"

AND I WHIRL AROUND TO SEE BOWLBOY BARRY, SEARCHING THROUGH THE THEATRE. I FEEL A TUG ON MY SLEEVE AND SEE PORRIDGE, WHO SUDDENLY LOOKS PANICKED, STARING AT ME AND MOUTHING SOMETHING WHICH SORTA LOOKS LIKE:

Please don't let him find me.

/ The heat alone Will Be enough to Eliminate everyone on Earth, Going directly into a— /

"tHe fAiRy'S cRowN iS—~uRp~—oN tHe gOwN~" I HEAR BARRY SAY, AND I SEE HIM START TO WALK TOWARDS US. I GO OUT IN THE ROW AND WAVE MY ARMS AND SAY "BARRY, HERE!" THEN I FEEL A BUZZ IN MY PHONE AND SEE A TEXT SAYING

He follows me. You can keep asking me questions just please don't let him find me.

AND EVEN THOUGH I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT AND I OBVIOUSLY DON'T WANT TO INTERVIEW MOTHERFUCKING-SON-OF-A-BITCH-HOLY- SHIT-HOW-COULD-I-HAVE-BEEN-SO-STUPID PORRIDGE, I JUST SORT OF AUTOMATICALLY TYPE IN THE NEXT QUESTION WITHOUT THINKING, AND HIT SEND:

DO YOU MEAN TO AFFECT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU DO?

"dO yOu hAvE tHe dAmE—~yEeGgGgH~—tHaT I cAn cLaiM~?"

I LOOK UP AND SEE BARRY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, AND I'M SURE HE CAN SEE THE PANIC AND TERROR IN MY EYES, AND I DECIDE TO TRY TO EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT THE AWFUL WITCH IS RIGHT BEHIND ME, BUT THE DISTRACTING VOICEOVER CONTINUES:

/ This destruction Is just a preamble to the white dwarf, where the Sun Will Be thoroughly Reduced to nothing more than a speck. /

"iS tHe sUppLe giRLy-dOo—~rRrRgHhT~—sOmEwHeRe bEhiNd yOu~?"

I BREATHE IN AND AM ABOUT TO TELL BARRY EVERYTHING, WHEN MY PHONE VIBRATES ONCE AGAIN. I TAKE IT OUT AND SEE THE WITCH'S RESPONSE:

Do I mean to affect people the way I do? Well, no. Really if I have any kind of affect on people, I would imagine it's gotta be kind of an accident.

I STIFFEN. ACCIDENT? WHERE HAVE I HEARD THAT BEFORE?

/ With time, the planetary nebula Will Fade, Leaving nothing but a mass of heated carbon. /

I LOOK AT BARRY. THEN I LOOK BACK BEHIND ME. ACCIDENT. LIKE WHAT SOYLENT GREEN WAS TALKING ABOUT. WAIT. IS IT POSSIBLE THAT PORRIDGE NEVER MEANT TO CURSE ME? AM I—AM I—

"sHoW mE tHe cHiCk oR—~mMf~—fAcE tHe sTiCk~"

I STARE AT BARRY. MY HANDS ARE SHAKING AGAIN, AND I CAN FEEL THE SWEAT RUNNING DOWN MY NECK.

/ Lacking the mass for a supernova, nuclear fusion Will Fail to Occur. /

"BARRY." I SWALLOW. IT ONLY TAKES THREE WORDS. WITCH IS HERE. WITCH IS HERE.

THE ROOM GROWS DIMMER AGAIN AND THE MUSIC STARTS TO FADE. “BARRY.” I FEEL THE PEN IN MY POCKET, AND LOOK RIGHT AT BARRY. THREE WORDS. “BARRY—“AS THE ROOM DARKENS AND THE MUSIC QUIETS, I LEAN FORWARD, TAKING IN A DEEP BREATH—“BARRY”—AND LEAN IN EVEN CLOSER TO OPEN MY MOUTH AND SAY THREE STUPENDOUSLY SIMPLE WORDS:

"SHE'S NOT HERE."

/ The gas-sphere Will eventually Float off, ready to Form the next smattering of stars. /

BARRY LOOKS AT THE GROUND, LOOKS UP AT THE CEILING, THEN HE SHRUGS, TURNS AROUND, AND LEAVES.

/ The Sun Has at last Died, with a simple cloud of carbon Being all that Remains. /

MY PHONE VIBRATES. HAND STILL SHAKING, I TAKE IT OUT AND READ THE TEXT MESSAGE:

Thank you.

I LOOK UP AT THE DOME. MAYBE PORRIDGE ISN'T A BAD PERSON. I KNOW THIS SOUNDS UTTERLY MAD, BUT MAYBE I COULD EVEN—LEARN TO AT LEAST TOLERATE HER IF SHE ISN'T MEANING TO HARM ANYONE.

/ Other stars Will, of course, Go out. /

WITHOUT QUITE KNOWING WHAT TO DO, I SIT BACK DOWN IN MY SEAT AND TEXT THE NEXT QUESTION:

WHO'S YOUR BIGGEST HERO?

MY PHONE VIBRATES AGAIN. I LOOK DOWN:

My grandmother.

THE SHAKE IN MY HAND SLOWS. ONE CORNER OF MY MOUTH GOES UP AND I START TO SMILE. I QUICKLY TYPE THE NEXT QUESTION:

WHAT’S A PART OF THE WORLD YOU WANT TO SEE SOMEDAY?

MY PHONE THEN BUZZES:

Japan.

I REMEMBER THE CLASS I TOOK ON THE HISTORY OF JAPAN AND I SUDDENLY THINK TO MYSELF WELL THIS IS ANOTHER THING WE HAVE IN COMMON, AND JAPAN IS SOMETHING WE COULD EVEN CONVERSE ABOUT, ASSUMING I CONTINUE ON MY COURSE OF TOLERATING HER, AND I START TO GRIN EVEN BIGGER AS I TYPE THE FOLLOW-UP QUESTION:

WHEN DO YOU THINK YOU'LL ACTUALLY GET TO GO THERE?

MY PHONE VIBRATES, AND I LOOK DOWN AGAIN:

Tomorrow.

MY MOUTH DROPS A LITTLE.

/ With most stars, a white dwarf Will inevitably Become a black dwarf. /

MY PHONE BUZZES AGAIN, AND I SEE ANOTHER MESSAGE:

I'm going on study abroad for a year. I leave tomorrow. Actually I should go soon to finish packing, if that's okay.

THE PEN IN MY POCKET PUSHES AGAINST MY THIGH FOR A SECOND, BUT THEN I ADJUST MY LEG AND TRY TO TYPE THE NEXT QUESTION.

BUT I KEEP MAKING MISTAKES AND SCREWING UP AND I'M TRYING TO PUSH THE RIGHT KEYS WHEN I GET A THIRD TEXT:

Are you okay?

I GLANCE TO MY RIGHT AT PORRIDGE WHO'S LOOKING AT ME WITH SOME SORT OF EXPRESSION OF CONCERN, BUT I JUST CLEAR MY THROAT AND FINALLY TYPE OUT THE LAST QUESTION:

DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER PROJECTS YOU'D LIKE TO EXPLORE IN THE FUTURE?

THE ROOM IS VERY DARK NOW, AND LOOKS THE WAY IT DID AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SHOW.

FOR ANSWERING THIS LAST QUESTION, INSTEAD OF TEXTING BACK, I CAN DIMLY SEE PORRIDGE LEAN DOWN AND PULL SOMETHING OUT OF HER BACKPACK. I HEAR WHAT SOUNDS LIKE THE UNCAPPING OF A MARKER, AND THEN SOME SQUEAKY WRITING SOUNDS BEFORE SHE HANDS ME SOMETHING SLENDER AND GLASSY IN THE DARK. I FROWN AND AM ABOUT TO ASK WHAT IT IS WHEN MY PHONE BUZZES, AND THE MESSAGE SAYS:

I want to do something musical, involving the thing I just handed you.

STARS ARE SWIRLING ALL AROUND THE ROOM AND LIGHTING UP EVERY CORNER, CASTING DIFFERENT COLORS ON THE SEATS BELOW. THE PHONE BUZZES ONCE MORE:

I actually really have to go now. Sorry.

THEN ANOTHER:

You should read what I wrote.

THEN FINALLY:

Bye Seth.

AND I SEE PORRIDGE ZIP UP HER PACK AND THEN GRAB HER CASE AND SLOWLY STAND UP TO WALK OUT OF THE AISLE AND GO THROUGH THE DOOR IN THE EXTREMELY DARK THEATRE. I HEAR THE DOOR OPEN THEN CLOSE, AND THEN IT'S JUST ME AND THE AUDIENCE AND THE SHOW.

SOON, THE SHOW ENDS, AND I WALK OUT WITH THE REST OF THE CROWD, FEELING IN A KIND OF DAZE. SUDDENLY I REMEMBER THE THING IN MY HAND THAT PORRIDGE GAVE ME AND I LOOK TO SEE WHAT IT IS.

SUNLIGHT GLINTS OFF THE OBJECT AND I SORT OF GASP AS I LOOK IT OVER AND THEN SEE THE MESSAGE, FROM HER, TO ME, SCRIBBLED ON IT IN BIG-LETTERED SHARPIE.

"seth?"

I LOOK UP AND SEE CALEB, STANDING THERE WITH HIS DOG ON A LEASH.

"WHA—WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"i was just taking knight on a long walk through campus. what's that bottle in your hand?"

I LOOK DOWN AT IT, THEN LOOK UP AT THE SKY OVERHEAD.

"hey, did you find your person for that interview assignment? they must've been so weirded out having to answer questions from a complete stranger, heh-heh."

I JUST LOOK AT THE SKY FOR A WHILE. THEN, INSTEAD OF RESPONDING, I HAND CALEB THE BOTTLE, AND THEN SLUMP TO LEAN AGAINST THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING, EXPERIENCING A RUSH OF BIZARRE SENSATIONS THAT I CAN'T EVEN REASONABLY DESCRIBE.

I'M DONE WITH THE BLOG. I REALLY MEAN IT THIS TIME. I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A SUCCESSFUL SEMESTER AND HAVE A GREAT SUMMER, BUT SOCIAL MEDIA REALLY ISN'T DOING ANYTHING FOR ME. NEXT POST IS MY LAST.

STILL,

-LOVE SETH MURFIE

#porridge

0 notes

be21zh · 7 years

Link

Nov 9, 2017

dreamt of a podcasting event. the host likely recent hot leaker, Guo wengui(@KwokMiles), who revealed lots of dark secret of CCP high ranks. the first version was cancelled and the Guo decided to remake. a new van pulled in, likely as an award for publishing, but its tire is half empty. I among other volunteers push the van to podcasting stage. I also handle the microphone, wire connection, recording etc. yesterday really over elated. a planned event aid by my elder brother realized: renew woz's dearest domain, woz.fm for 2 more years now that migration to new registrar who support 4 years ahead to subscribe. our first registrar, godaddy forbidden more than a year to renew the domain, so every year I was anxious about it, and last year I really paid more for the domain after it enter recovery mode strangely before expire date. also, the domain under icann's administrative increases price $25 since next month. so I badly want to save the ￥500 before new renewal charge complies. I never thought I would raise money from my hometown relatives who mostly live average wealth. but God know its OK. my kid brother who has a small mill & bought 2 large houses, dishonored me heavily each time I ask for loan, did same lest my more aid requests. but my 2nd elder brother, my childhood main enemy and in recent years whose contribution to our old family, esp his favorite fishing skill brought more colorful meals in our old family times, warmed my heart and turned me into gratitude, and started to appreciate his loneliness. this time he touched by my cause & urged my kid brother leased the loan from him own proxy, even his family was not so capable to loan me. God dad, now I gained loans from both my sisters and brothers, each ￥1200. 2017 designated to be blessing, like yesterday's shallow snow here. God dad, grant me grow our fortitude against harsher siege PRC surveillance setup us. let my ancestor's gift and needed support reach us in time. let copycat tyrant missing in frustration. bring holy glories on shinny earth. bring me Royal China and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko to broaden my life entrenched so far here from limelight.

Nov 2, 2017

this post designated to be brief: I just want to report my satisfaction yesterday and today. yesterday I blogged without dream's escort and narration went smooth. this dawn I dreamt my temporary habitat in a remote place, say northwestern China. I managed a lot and barely got aboard, on train or airline, to Harbin, my current provincial capital. near last stop I found my destiny far from Harbin where almost half China apart from central China, my hometown. so intensive triumph turned half completed in fact & overestimated, I didn't regret but knew new journey ahead homecoming. then I woke up from vivid dawn sureal. yesterday I posted among boring, pale reality without nutritious dream. I contented with my work and avoid lunch. dining time I felt rewarding, and all female local people I concern shown in daily jog refreshing outside around QRRS square. their kindness leaves me supplement to complacency. after settled in dorm and TV time began, my kodi under heavy surveillance. search result of my favorite episode appeared but playing back abrupt quit before rolling up. still I harvested via youtube which much readier accessible. I learned current world affairs, some situation in China first hand there unmistakable. I also enabled gzip on my web server for speedier page load, after google reports test result on my site performance via gmail promotion. that's really nice to boost my site for greater audience. I have no other means to improve our voice, Royal China's emerging gospel, for world and our people beside this tiny technology. God dad, I really enchanted by podcasts' companion all day long during deadly siege by PRC tyranny, thx for the commodity, grant us freedom of voice & informative stream on base of poverty prevails mainland China with dying surge of ghost communism. bring me sooner my Royal China to broaden national. bring our Christmas day gift on time and cure our need of support of our living as well as investment in cyberspace. bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, to extend my life folded so many years alone. dad God, let me resilient as usual.

Nov 1, 2017

Its a sunny golden autumn morning. in the week I hardly in detailed dream, but still I felt so blessed. internet in PRC tightened much since the ccp congress. ai powered surveillance periodically disabled my internet upon triggered key word or something other incurred self-posed punishment. it can be dozen times in an hour. quite boring and spiteful. in the beginning of last week I almost thought I will be idle totally, but then on Wednesday I saw tasks: reinforce zhone dynamic sites with ssl from let's encrypt, a website promotes ssl worldwide with its free certificates issued more than thousands hundred copies. dabbog.com backend webapp also need update after near 2 weeks delay since its official update. I contacted godaddy hosting but the support crew made it clear that as a main upgrade godaddy will free itself responsibility but let my alone to do the update lest failure of lost. I loathed to join security tasks for I lack hacker experience and IT security training. after a day scrutinized the operational I launched near dinner time to upgrade my site, and smoothly done in an hour. it really cheers me up with new confidence in server management. next day I prepare ssl upgrade. I previously thought cert installation is the core problem, but soon I was detained by domain ownership verification hours. for one of my registrar's dns strangely didn't support root level text record, I have to single out a domain under the registrar for single certificate. then I got my first let's encrypt cert installed for 3 domains verified by dns txt record. cost some more time google web server's .htaccess hacking not to block file upload to server for verification, the another ownership of verification method adopted smoothly and 2nd let's encrypt cert installed. both likely least cost while my option one is server extension installation which has more impacts on linux os. its really marvelous to see zhone sites' ssl green & formally. since my first website on google cloud my ssl which is self-signed, never independent without malware's precaution and more click through before homepage load out. I also spend little more time to rip off http source of header & footer images to ensure full site ssl. in the weekend, ie Sunday, I demonstrated my work narrowly done in Saturday to my son, woz. my site traffic also booming recently, thanks God and faith we beholding. now its another Wednesday aimlessly, God dad, bless us with some engagements. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen Asoh Yukiko, for family & homage. grant us year end bonus to sustain my small investment online, and our business never so prominent in China history.

Oct 21, 2017

dreamt enter university again. the day is opening school day. I with other enrolled youth led to our school and dorm. through scenery natural hill, we passed through crowd parents to get seat in our campus. lately I carried my son explained to crowd what's philosophy in my view and why I study in university gain. my anxiety of dorm wet and over jammed disappeared at destiny chamber and I won friendship from alumni, includes alumna. my explanation turned like public speech, by which even myself moved. yesterday is salary day. I got ￥3060, 200 less than last month. even so, I arranged my monthly reunite my son in my dorm after cinema. transfering 4 domains from godaddy to dynadot almost done. dynadot home website online chat did wonderful support work. after 4 or 5 contacts including with godaddy support via land phone, I informed by dynadot crew that .io since 2017 July refuse in its whois database stores registrant information. so my long time dissatisfaction with godaddy for its hiding my registrant info with .io sponsor organization is not their fault but limitation of newly incursion. in review my smooth transfer I left positive comment on godaddy facebook page praising their gracious service. the comment arose comments at once. some of them questioned if I was godaddy's post bot. last night I read an article how insane Chinese parents flattered their kids' teacher mischief in their teacher and parent social circle via wechat, a PRC mainstream social app, and despise other parents' lawful requests for their kid's privilege like mobile not be seizure by school authority, bargain for favor of teacher. most poor Chinese just too feeble & coerced confronting organizations. that's why when I contact service providers in cyberspace I prone to be thankful even they are within my privilege: I am afraid to be punished for dispute with legal person. that reminds me long time in PRC society legal person stamp on nature person in lawless reality in socialism, and why PRC Chinese made their society a hell of institutional crime swarm: indifferent bureaucracy, warded gangster groups behaviors, shameless prey, brutal bully, hate & cry for others' transparency esp free media of voices. these characters all led to tyranny, like most mid-east countries where poorest & most violent led civilian only option, to exile. most PRC Chinese want to be a leader in an organization, for costless or at least cost efficient gains, just try to manipulate a puppet & behind curtain. and most forceful puppet is national army, largest dog or monster the tyrant invent to rein constitutionally, at cost of national surrender and sacrifice. that's the reasonable consequence of a society prefers superman/trojan horse, ie legal person to nature human. I at first thought I got the hidden truth about Chinese failure, and its cure, Capitalism, but then I saw more insane is extinguish of free speech/express, freedom of media, death of publicity. that also led me to review President Trump's efforts to blame American media. I first time felt dubious upon Trump's intention, esp my hero, former President G.W Bush recently criticize Trump, too, even undebatable Trump's self-discipline of American, and America first, both holy strategy I believe in. God dad, PRC stepping into new Empire. but tyrant lacks qualification to put him up for throne, like what happens in Russian shows, even the small bitch trying getting his new turn of Presidency, relentlessly. nobody except holy chosen leads to Crown. that's China future political landscape. thx dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China, with my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, with new territory we vested.

Oct 13, 2017

dreamt at hometown saw my kid brother had affair with a new bride whose husband's name same as mine in the village. he is an adopted son of a couple lately had their own younger son. in half nap I heard water heat system just water pumped in this season first time against chill and made sound inside channel. then I dream my kid brother bathed with the girl together in our old family's natural earth heat spring tube. the adulterous bride is granddaughter of the only woman whose most life is introducing half wizard religion with her tool of fate-telling in the village. my passed mother first attracted by the far neighbor then introduced to my dad, who since then more closer to faith and treated the old woman friendly in his late life till elapse. the old woman's surname is Mao, the same as PRC legendary leader. she never had a child and a life time smoker which quite strange among villager women. the bride father is also adopted by the old woman whose shrank husband also in surname Zhu as the founder of the village Zhudajiu, once prince of Founder & Emperor of Ming Dynasty. my kid brother introduced I had 2 other options to bath in the village. one is my aunt's homemade, another far from village near the village's dam & fountain. I hardly settled in man-powered bath tube in my aunt house. my youngest elder sister helped me to heat the water and chat with me. I just put off most of my lower part clothes but remained my chest covered in the scenario, squatted in bath tube before the water warmed up when later my cousins, ie my aunt's children, returned & gossiped around. I just felt awfully inconvenient with rural water heat system esp bath tube in dream likes old time rural toilet, maokeng or shit pit. in the last week I almost settled transferring out 4 domains from godaddy to dynadot. at first my son's domain, woz.fm, refuse display transfer authentication code. contacted godaddy then it fixed. then zho.io stuck in missing whois information and new platform can't find my email to send me initiating verification email to start transferring. I phone called godaddy 3 times barely explained my problem by my poor English. next day the hard initiative procedure rolling into track. that's all wonders I experienced after empowered by my hometown relatives' aid, and wonderful American gift of discount of my web presence cost, near ￥1200. the whole week in unease and relief of awesome of resolving. dad God, last to settle domain will arrive next Tuesday. help us clinch it unshakably. the whole week I felt unreal with the gain. now launch me in new land of adventure lest outpaced. God dad, in long run, let my investment on domain & our web presence weightless financially, burden free while rampant accessory as civilian in western democratic market nations. let us harvest in content and purposefully resourceful. in the week I review lots of my passed life, what my life means to others, including my son and my people in PRC. I hope my free of routine job while remains productive and self-rely. Dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China to carry mission longer. bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for better homing. thx for this golden autumn morning, dad.

#IFTTT #Blogger #technicolormoments #blog #blog post #benzillar #benzrad.us

0 notes

chinad · 7 years

Text

once stress now hilarity

Nov 9, 2017

Nov 2, 2017

this post designated to be brief: I just want to report my satisfaction yesterday and today. yesterday I blogged without dream's escort and narration went smooth. this dawn I dreamt my temporary inhabitant in a remote place, say northwestern China. I managed a lot and barely got aboard, on train or airline, to Harbin. near last stop I found my destiny far from Harbin where almost half China apart from central China, my hometown. so intensive triumph turned half completed in fact, I didn't regret but knew new journey ahead homecoming. then I woke up from vivid dream. yesterday I posted among boring, pale reality without nutritious dream. I contented with my work and avoid lunch. dining time I felt rewarding, and all female people I concern shown in daily jog refreshing outside around QRRS square. their kindness leaves me supplement to complacency. after settled in dorm and TV time began, my kodi under heavy surveillance. search result of my favorite episode appeared but playing back abrupt quit before rolling up. still I harvested via youtube which much readier accessible. I learned current world affairs, some situation in China first hand there. I also enabled gzip on my web server for speedier page load, after google reports test result on my site performance via gmail promotion. that's really nice to boost my site for greater audience. I have no other means to improve our voice, Royal China's emerging gospel, for world and our people beside this tiny technology. God dad, I really enchanted by podcasts' companion all day long during deadly siege by PRC tyranny, thx for the commodity, grant us freedom of voice & informative stream on base of poverty prevails mainland China with dying surge of ghost communism. bring me sooner my Royal China to broaden national. bring our Christmas day gift on time and cure our need of support of our living as well as investment in cyberspace. bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, to extend my life folded so many years alone. dad God, let me resilient as usual.

Nov 1, 2017

Its a sunny golden summer morning. in the week I hardly in detailed dream, but still I felt so blessed. internet in PRC tightened much since the ccp congress. ai powered surveillance periodically disabled my internet upon triggered key word or something other incurred self-posed punishment. it can be dozen times in an hour. quite boring and spiteful. in the beginning of last week I almost thought I will be idle totally, but then on Wednesday I saw tasks: reinforce zhone dynamic sites with ssl from let's encrypt, a website promotes ssl worldwide with its free certificates issued more than thousands hundred copies. dabbog.com backend webapp also need update after near 2 weeks delay since its official update. I contacted godaddy hosting but the support crew made it clear that as a main upgrade godaddy will free itself responsibility but let my alone to do the update lest failure of lost. I loathed to join security tasks for I lack hacker experience and IT security training. after a day scrutinized the operational I launched near dinner time to upgrade my site, and smoothly done in an hour. it really cheers me up with new confidence in server management. next day I prepare ssl upgrade. I previously thought cert installation is the core problem, but soon I was detained by domain ownership verification hours. for one of my registrar's dns strangely didn't support root level text record, I have to single out a domain under the registrar for single certificate. then I got my first let's encrypt cert installed for 3 domains verified by dns txt record. cost some more time google web server's .htaccess hacking not to block file upload to server for verification, the another ownership of verification method adopted smoothly and 2nd let's encrypt cert installed. both likely least cost while my option one is server extension installation which has more impacts on linux os. its really marvelous to see zhone sites' ssl green & formally. since my first website on google cloud my ssl which is self-signed, never independent without malware's precaution and more click through before homepage load out. I also spend little more time to rip off http source of header & footer images to ensure full site ssl. in the weekend, ie Sunday, I demonstrated my work narrowly done in Saturday to my son, woz. my site traffic also booming recently, thanks God and faith we beholding. now its another Wednesday aimlessly, God dad, bless us with some engagements. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen Asoh Yukiko, for family & homage. grant us year end bonus to sustain my small investment online, and our business never so prominent in China history.

Oct 21, 2017

dreamt enter university again. the day is opening school day. I with other enrolled youth led to our school and dorm. through scenery natural hill, we passed through crowd parents to get seat in our campus. lately I carried my son explained to crowd what's philosophy in my view and why I study in university gain. my anxiety of dorm wet and over jammed disappeared at destiny chamber and I won friendship from alumni, includes alumna. my explanation turned like public speech, by which even myself moved. yesterday is salary day. I got ￥3060, 200 less than last month. even so, I arranged my monthly reunite my son in my dorm after cinema. transfering 4 domains from godaddy to dynadot almost done. dynadot home website online chat did wonderful support work. after 4 or 5 contacts including with godaddy support via land phone, I informed by dynadot crew that .io since 2017 July refuse in its whois database stores registrant information. so my long time dissatisfaction with godaddy for its hiding my registrant info with .io sponsor organization is not their fault but limitation of newly incursion. in review my smooth transfer I left positive comment on godaddy facebook page praising their gracious service. the comment arose comments at once. some of them questioned if I was godaddy's post bot. last night I read an article how insane Chinese parents flattered their kids' teacher mischief in their teacher and parent social circle via wechat, a PRC mainstream social app, and despise other parents' lawful requests for their kid's privilege like mobile not be seizure by school authority, bargain for favor of teacher. most poor Chinese just too feeble & coerced confronting organizations. that's why when I contact service providers in cyberspace I prone to be thankful even they are within my privilege: I am afraid to be punished for dispute with legal person. that reminds me long time in PRC society legal person stamp on nature person in lawless reality in socialism, and why PRC Chinese made their society a hell of institutional crime swarm: indifferent bureaucracy, warded gangster groups behaviors, shameless prey, brutal bully, hate & cry for others' transparency esp free media of voices. these characters all led to tyranny, like most mid-east countries where poorest & most violent led civilian only option, to exile. most PRC Chinese want to be a leader in an organization, just try to manipulate a puppet & behind curtain. and most forceful puppet is national army, largest dog or monster the tyrant invent to rein constitutionally, at cost of national surrender and sacrifice. that's the reasonable consequence of a society prefers superman/trojan horse, ie legal person to nature human. I at first thought I got the hidden truth about Chinese failure, and its cure, Capitalism, but then I saw more insane is extinguish of free speech/express, freedom of media, death of publicity. that also led me to review President Trump's efforts to blame American media. I first time felt dubious upon Trump's intention, esp my hero, former President G.W Bush recently criticize Trump, too, even undebatable Trump's self-discipline of American, and America first, both holy missions I believe in. God dad, PRC stepping into new Empire. but tyrant lacks qualification to put him up for throne, like what happens in Russian shows, even the small bitch trying getting his new turn of Presidency, relentlessly. nobody except holy chosen leads to Crown. that's China future political landscape. thx dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China, with my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, with new territory we vested.

Oct 13, 2017

via Blogger http://ift.tt/2AwrBAq

#Blogger #benzillar #benzrad

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