#kouyuzu | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kouyuzu · 10 months

Text

Another Day

*Was listening to Save Your Tears by The Weekend when I wrote this, but I wouldn't call it a song fic, and it's a little different

*1786 words

*Sae x gn! Reader [angst/ hint of fluff]

~~~

Sae hates Japan and everything it reminds him of. Of how the country could never produce a striker, or any teammate that could be worthy of receiving his passes, and when a program cropped up to do that— it included his lukewarm little brother. Playing against the bluelock 11 ‘team’ will be so easy. It’s what he stuck around for afterall, but he’s not ready to see you.

You are the only thing he hates equally to Japan’s football league. YOU, standing there in the stands with your eyes trained on… yup. His lukewarm loser of a brother.

A small flare in his chest ignites as he takes in your face. How your hair shines under the lights of the stadium, a small halo from the way the mist lingers in the air. He jumps up a couple of times to get his blood moving, because not going to let anyone get the better of him, especially not since he’s met the others on the U-20 team. They’re going to destroy Bluelock 11, and prove that there is no worthy egoist in Japan (let alone 11 of them). And then Sae can go back to Spain and forget about this cursed country.

There’s barely any history between you and him anyways, and five years is plenty of time for him to claim that he doesn’t recognize you, and has forgotten. That’s what he tells himself as he keeps the ball just outside of the Bluelock11 penalty area. He dribbles just a little bit behind the tall one who’s been saying the most lukewarm statements about being ‘glam.’ He’s not distracted. He can’t afford to show his brother a lukewarm version of himself, because that doesn’t exist. Not even in front of you. Especially not in front of you.

Maybe Sae got into his head too much because after the game, he can’t even be bothered to care about the results. The only thing he’s thankful for is that Shidou feels the same way, because if he didn’t, someone would have a trip to the emergency room. The rest of the team files off of the field towards the locker rooms and Sae doesn’t mean to look back over his shoulder. He especially doesn’t mean to look directly at the section of the stands where you’re now at the railing and smiling down at Rin. At his younger brother— that lukewarm motherfucker. Of course you would grow closer to Rin after Sae left for Spain, but to be close enough that you’re blowing kisses at him… He doesnt mean to stare as he watches Rin smile. Actually smile back at you, even though he doesn’t return the cheesy gesture.

Teal eyes are watching you long enough for you to look up and catch him. Sae’s brows are furrowed at the scene, and Rin follows your gaze. There’s an eternal second where your mouth parts slightly, and then his name on your lips and a single glint over your cheek bone as a tear falls from the corner and slides across your skin, pale from the overhead lighting, the one pearlescent orb reflecting rainbows as it falls. Ten meters from where Sae stands across the field. He turns for the locker room because he doesn’t want to watch you cry over him. Not again.

The team is going to celebrate and meet the Bluelock 11 team, but Sae doesn’t want to do that. He’s letting his intrusive, repulsively lukewarm, thoughts tear through his mind. Should he go speak to you? It’s been five years since you last spoke. Since you found him the night before his flight to Spain playing soccer at night. You always found him before anyone else began to think to look.

As the Itoshi’s next door neighbor and only friend through middle school, being exactly one year between him and Rin was so perfect. For twelve years you were a constant in their lives, even though you sucked at football. At least you supported his move to Spain. That's what he hates the most about you though— how supportive you are.

His last image of you is fresh in his mind as you told him with tears in your eyes that you wanted what was best for him, and Sae looked back at you with his gorgeous aqua lifeless, blank eyes and said that he didn’t give a fuck what you cared. If this image is in his mind, the first snow stinging his face and you crying— of course you’re crying, you were always crying until Rin showed up— then you have the same image. Sae left you in the field that night, and he’ll do it again. Right now.

Once Sae changes and is standing with the U20 team and some of the guys from the bluelock team, someone speaks up.

“Where’s Rin?” Isagi asks.

Various responses of “I don’t know,” and “who cares?” are returned. Sae’s gritting his teeth as he thinks about that interaction between you and Rin. Maybe Rin is in the stands holding you, and returning that kiss you sent him, but with his own lips.

This ego is going to be the death of him, as Sae drops his bag at Shidou’s feet and starts running for the stands. In his chest his heart is pounding and he can feel the ache in his calves as he sprints up the stairs to get to the stands. He can reach you he knows he can— and there you are, standing at the railing still. Your back is to him, and there’s a hand to your face as you swipe at your eyes. When your fingers fall to the railing there’s a slight shine as the tears linger on your skin.

“Fuck,” Sae whispers in the still air. The stadium feels hot and suffocating, the air muggy and weighing down on Sae as he stares at you. He waits for an infinite second before slowly walking up behind you. But what the hell does he say to you?

“Rin?” You whimper, and turn around as soon as Sae stands behind you.

Sae sighs gently and in a flat voice says, “guess again.”

Your breath catches and you can't help the hiccup that escapes your mouth. Eyes are wide under your lashes which are collecting small drops of condensation from the air, or maybe residue from your crying. You can’t take a step back but Sae notices how your legs shift to move towards the railing. Your throat moves as you swallow.

“Hi… Long time no see…” Sae says. His voice is low, but not as threatening as he thought he was going to come off as.

You glance behind you, but the field is empty since the only other person left was Rin, but he’s in the locker room.

Sae rakes a hand through his hair and he turns to look behind him too, making sure that Rin isn’t going to hear how pathetic he's about to sound.

You’re shifting from foot to foot with your bottom lip locked between your teeth in nerves, and even trying to sneak peaks past him since Sae knows you’re waiting for Rin.

He needs your eyes on him though, so he takes a step in to face you. “(Y/n),” he says. “Look… I fucked up.”

Your breath catches again. “...what?”

“I’m sorry,” Sae clarifies. His hand flits to the back of his neck for a second as he thinks about how to say the next part. He wants to apologize for leaving you, but he needs to improve. He needs to be better. “I ran away from you, because I needed to train.”

You exhale shakily, a whispered “S-Sae,” leaving your lips.

Sae sighs a little more heavily than he means to. You crying right now is the last thing he wants, but it'd be perfectly in character.

“Your training went well,” you say to him, your voice wavering and revealing that you believe the words even though you don't want to. “Sae… you were incredible out there.”

“I've been working hard,” Sae agrees, and shoves his hands into the pockets of his track pants. He traces your face from the way your eyebrows are pushed together in anxiety, to the shine in your eyes. “What's wrong?” he asks.

“Nothing,” you say simply, but lower your gaze to his shoes. There's a deep inhale from you as you continue, “but…” Another second before you let out a soft, “I missed you.” Your voice is quiet under the blanket of night, and Sae feels as cold as the night he left you crying on the soccer field with flurries of snow flying past your faces.

“I’m sorry,” Sae says. His voice is low, although he accidentally used his press-voice, and his tone is flat. “I needed to get stronger.”

“You did,” you agree, your eyes finally meeting his own. “Will you go back to Spain?”

Sae allows his features to even out and his mouth settles into a line instead of a frown. “We lost,” he finally acknowledges, “so I need to continue training.”

Your breath is shallow and you reach your arms out for Sae and slot your own arms around his torso, holding him tightly. “I know you have to leave, but I don't want you to.”

Sae takes one hand out of his pocket and places it on top of your head, patting a couple of times. He doesn't know what to say because he doesn't want any attachment to Japan when he has to leave. And he has to leave because the game against BlueLock 11 confirmed that maybe there is a striker out there who isn't lukewarm, and Sae will need to keep up with them so he can make the best crosses when the time comes to play with him, whoever that might be.

“I'll miss you, Sae,” you say into his U-20 jacket. “I don't want you to leave again.”

He wants to say it back. He wants to save you from the tears but he wants to be internationally recognized in the football community even more. But if you wait for him, maybe another day he’ll be able to tell you these disgusting, lukewarm thoughts.

For now though, Sae’s free arm wraps around your shoulders to hug you back, strong arms pulling you into his chest as you start to sob in earnest again. This time is different though because Sae won't leave your heart broken. He can't allow himself another five or even ten years without you, so he leans his head down next to your ear to murmur, “once I become the number one midfielder, I’ll come back for you, (Y/N).”

#sae x reader #itoshi sae #bllk #bllk sae #itoshi sae x reader #kouyuzu #sae angst #sae fluff #drabble #bllk fanfic #bllk short #sae short #sae fanfic

73 notes · View notes