#kriss.exe

[coreytaylr]

shut the fuck up oh my gos this is all I'm gonna talk about for at least two weeks unfollow me now THIS COULD BE A FUCKING POSTER

[theyarebothgunshot]

ok stay with me im gonna ramble a bit BUT i remembered I never told you which is my favorite cockles moment (kinda late to the party sorry xjsjsj) so i wanted to look up the year it happened and im fucking SHOOK bc it was 8 FUCKING YEARS AGO and that's shocking BECAUSE

its my favorite moment bc I watched it LIVE I EXPERIENCED IT FIRST HAND meaning I was already on tumblr and in the fandom WHEN IT HAPPENED and it literally stopped my brain from functioning like kriss.exe stopped working entirely and my only thought was 'what the actual fuck' and now realizing it was 8 years ago is doing the same tbh

ANYWAYS it's from the 2013 jibcon, you know, the infamous resume off with the. um. literal dick touching. and jensen's suggestive face to the audience. and I can't BELIEVE NO ONE SAID THAT MOMENT YET god it was so. defining for me. eye opening. I received revelation.

gonna go sit in a dark corner now and contemplate my life. 8 fucking years jesus fucking christ

kriss you are braver than us marines for being in this fandom for so long. bles.

yeah. yeah good choice because that was a Lot.

[coreytaylr]

100% legit totally real facts about the historical stede bonnet

no the title is not a lie these are really REAL bc believe it or not, somehow the show made our stede MORE competent than the real one

sources: Real Pirates podcast (ep1, ep2, ep3, ep4, ep5), Dirty Sexy History podcast (with jeremy moss, bonnet's biographer, who LOVES the show, and said it changed his perspective on bonnet's and blackbeard's relationship PLUS he has the stedesrevenge handle on twt)

the library on the revenge was a real thing. the man really did that.

running away from his family to be a pirate

paying a salary to his crew

SHOWING UP IN NASSAU IN FRILLY GENTLEMANLY CLOTHES AND A POWDERED WIG

before bonnet's capture, he ran his ship aground and that's how the english caught up with him BUT the two english ships also ran aground (😭), so they fought each other with their flintlock pistols from behind their ships (until the tides turned and dislodged the english ships first. rip)

adopted an alias when he started pirating so people wouldn't know it was him but he raided ships near Barbados (where he's from), so that didnt turn out well. his solution? burning every ship from Barbados

he only succeeded in his early days bc merchant ships knew they would get off easier if they surrendered

ATTACKED A WARSHIP that whooped his ass so bad he almost died. the remaining crew steered the ship to Nassau where he met blackbeard

blackbeard stole the revenge from him but "allowed" him to stay on BB's ship (either as a guest or as a prisoner, it's not clear, but he def wasn't a crew member bc he didn't have any chores)

he was seen on deck running around in his gowns 😭😭

BB eventually reinstated him as the captain of the revenge and they sailed together for a while

"there is a 4 month period where stede and blackbeard kind of disappeared and no one really knows what they were doing" 👀

BB allowed bonnet to raid on his own which lead to him getting his ass beat by the Protestant Caesar. BB then proceeded to HUNT DOWN THE PROTESTANT CAESAR while flying the RED FLAG (which meant no mercy to anyone on board)

bonnet would raid ships and take what provisions he needed and give the other ship what he didn't need (essentially the library raiding scene lmaoo)

BB betrayed bonnet by raiding his ship and marooning his crew while bonnet was off getting a pardon

SO BONNET SWORE REVENGE AGAINST BB who was at the time, the most feared pirate

this led to him adopting another alias - "he also changes his name, at the time he goes by captain edward's. which is really interesting, I don't know if that's an homage to, you know, edward teach, but.. captain edward's with an "s", that's as if he's.. a possession of captain edward" ONCE AGAIN 👀👀👀👀

HE ESCAPED PRISON BY DRESSING AS A WOMAN

after escaping, he was promised a sloop by some rando. when the rando didnt deliver, bonnet "WROTE HIM A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER REPRIMANDING THE MAN"

that letter led to him being recaptured 😭😭

he was hanged while holding a bouquet of wilted flowers

[coreytaylr]

HELLOOOO???? CNA ANYBODY HEAR ME

[coreytaylr]

just a teeny tiny little gentleman pirate of a guy

[coreytaylr]

STEDE BONNET I LVOE YOU SOOO MUUUCCCCHHH

[coreytaylr]

LISTEN I UNDERSTAND EVERYONE WAS STARING AT THE STIDDIES BUT WE HAVE EARRING!!!! ACTUAL REAL FUCKING EARRING ON STEDE BONNET /!!!!!!

[coreytaylr]

apparently not many people are as obsessed with hands as me so they didn't notice so im here to point out the BLACK LACE SLEEVES ON THE RED JACKET

[coreytaylr]

CANT GET OVER HOW LOW CUT THIS FUCKING SHIRT IS JFC

[coreytaylr]

i couldn't get this out of my head im so sorry

[coreytaylr]

THIS is why ofmd matters, THIS is why its story matters. because that sense of belonging brings with itself a spark of hope, that you're not alone and not wrong. and everybody needs and deserves that.

[coreytaylr]

EX-LOVERS MEETING AT A PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!

[coreytaylr]

pspspspspspsp can anyone read cursive here? 👀👀

I got "an ages past" in the first one and "my heart [x] [x] [x] breaks [x] the [x]"

WAS STEDE WRITING POETRY ON THE MAP HE USED TO KEEP TRACK OF ED???

[coreytaylr]

i am Not kidding when i say im in love with him

[coreytaylr]

oh. OH. OH.

OH..

OH.

[coreytaylr]

once again sad stede bonnet hours on my twitter