#kshfkf he better not see this
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ten days till valentine’s day >.<
#as your resident valentine girl i thought you all should know#i went to dollar tree a couple of days ago and i bought heart shaped confetti ♥️#gonna put it all in my bfs valentine’s day gift <3#kshfkf he better not see this#jess rambles
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Also thinking of CAA rewatch which has progressed at a rate of one ep every 5 weeks,, what is Pouf's massive breakdown scene gonna do to me, , ,
#i haven't fully rewatched this arc since before i was using him as a therapy tool and. let me just say#i am intimately acquainted with the style of meltdown he has; right down to the language and black and white thinking#there more i had to see it the more i had to actually see myself in an exaggerated sort of way and now. now that i dont even really#qualify for a ptsd diagnosis anymore and am doing so much better. what is his downward spiral gonna do to me when I see it...#if i cry over this man I'm resigning from humanity as a whole i will have had enough kshfkf he's tragic but he's not THAT sad#except. except um um um um maybe. maybe he is. for as much as i talk about him i dont wanna be genuinely emotional#watching him like... i don't know why I'm so resistant to the concept but. i suppose actually moving forward and watching#might give me an answer#maybe I still think the whole thing is silly. maybe i still havent fully accepted the gravity of what I'm sitting with#maybe I'm just thinking too hard about it all#hoatm rants
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