#lacker of self respect

[pointdotiozao]

Maker of bad decisions

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Here You Come Again [Part Seventeen]

Fandom: Elvis Presley, RPF, American Actor

Pairing: Elvis Presley × Original Female Character

Characters: Elvis Presley, Addison Goodwin, Original Female Characters, Priscilla Presley, Colonel Tom Parker, Vernon Presley, Gladys Presley, Minnie Mae Presley, Marci Cunningham, Jerry Schilling, Red West, Sonny West, Marty Lacker, Joe Esposito, Charlie Hodge, Lamar Fike, Alan Fortas, George Klein, Memphis Mafia

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 10,784

Summary: When Addison Goodwin was seventeen years old her life was turned inside out after a chance encounter with her past.

Now, fifteen years later her life is the best it's ever been. She has a home, a good job and a daughter she loves more than anything in the world but will all that remain when an old familiar face rolls into town.

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Graceland, Las Vegas, The International Hotel, Elvis In Vegas, 1970s, 1970s Elvis, Friends To Lovers, Rekindled Romance, Parenting, Time Line is Sketchy, Guilt, Betrayal, Teenage Pregnancy, Hawaii, Hidden Pregnancy, Jealousy, Sex, Absence of Parent, Single Motherhood, Trauma, Oral Sex, Tension

Notes: Well we made it. Hope it’s what yall wanted 💕

LINK TO ALL PARTS // LINK TO AO3 // LINK TO PINTEREST

‘Please tell me you’re joking,’ Marci said as she paced up and down their hotel room. Addison was sitting on her bed, where she had been all day, wallowing in self-pity. Jess had spent the day out, no doubt keeping Elvis preoccupied as promised, and Marci had been God knows where until she’d waltzed in around dinner time and found Addison looking morose as ever.

‘Mar,’ Addison sighed rubbing her fingers along the bridge of her nose. She didn’t intend to be short with her friend but she had been through everything again and again in her mind -that by the time evening had rolled around she was done with thinking about any of it. Of course that hadn’t stopped Marci from asking and it wasn’t as if she could lie about the chasmic gap Addison had put between herself and the rest of the group.

‘No,’ Marci protested looking at her with disbelief, ‘no, please tell me that you didn’t just turn down the love of your life after he poured his heart and soul out to you?! The man who you’ve loved since you were seventeen years old! The father of your child!’

‘Mar it’s not that simple,’ Addison sighed, closing the book she been failing to read and placing it on her lap.

‘Why not?! You love him and don’t bother telling me that you don’t,’ Marci said cutting Addison off with a stern look before it fell into one of despair, ‘I just don’t understand…I’ve seen the way you guys are together. Addie he loves you so much.’

‘Yeah and he loved me then too and look what happened. Hell he loved Priscilla enough to marry her and that went to hell,’ Addison retorted moving so that she wasn’t looking at Marci as she threw the book she had been holding onto the bed behind her. She had known no one would understand. She didn’t expect them to, but she at least wanted them to respect her decision, something none of them seemed to do.

‘So what? That’s the past,’ Marci said watching her friend as she failed to look at her. She could see the hurt plastered across her face, hurt she had seen before, especially in those early days. Back when any mention of Elvis seemed akin to taking a live wire and running it across Addison’s skin given it offered the same reaction. But that was then. They’d made it through those times so why not give it a shot? It didn’t make any sense to her, not until Addison mumbled, ‘and what if it’s our future?’

‘That’s what this is about? You’re scared?’ Marci said in little more than a whisper yet it was enough to make Addison’s head snap up, her eyes flaming with anger.

Why did everyone keep saying it? So what if that was the truth? Didn’t she get to be? Wasn’t it fair to want to protect herself from all the pain she had lived countless times over?

When she had lost her father she had been distraught but resilient. She’d kept going, putting one foot in front of the other in the hopes that one day it’d get better, that her grief would at some point stop consuming every fibre of her being, and she’d been right. When Elvis had burst back into her life he’d saved her, wrenching her from the pits of despair like an angel, tethering himself to her and promising a life she had only dreamed of. Back then she’d allowed herself to believe, she clung to him like a life raft, but that had been foolish.

And when it had all come crashing down, like she should have expected it to, it’d hurt more than before. She’d fallen from a greater height, been broken into tinier pieces. Yet she’d managed to rebuild. Bit by bit she’d put herself back together until she was almost complete. To say yes to Elvis might have been the missing piece but should she break this time there would be no going back. To break this time would be to fracture into pieces, unable to put back together no matter who tried to help.

So yeah, she was scared. Scared because she remembered that sadness all too well.

‘Don’t I get to be?’ she asked incredulously, ‘don’t I get to be scared that it’ll blow up in my face again? I mean when has anything ever gone right for me?’

‘What about Jess? What about us? We had a pretty nice life or was that just a consolation prize?’ Marci bit back angrily making Addison sigh.

‘Of course not! I love our life…in fact you guys are the only things that have really gone right for me…’ Addison sighed as Marci took a seat beside her on the bed, the pair of them looking at the wooden flooring beneath their feet as they tried to calm their tempers, worried their words were escalating into a fight of their own. Eventually Addison spoke, ‘which is why I don’t want to ruin anything. It’s not just me this time.’

‘It wasn’t just you then either,’ Marci countered earning herself a glance.

‘But it was different. She didn’t know him then…now if it goes wrong she’ll be torn between the pair of us,’ Addison said dropping her gaze before she mumbled, ‘or worse.’

‘Worse?’ Marci asked with a frown.

‘What if she picks him?’ Addison whispered looking at her friend as tears appeared in her lash line.

It had been something she had been worrying about since Elvis had threatened to take her, well probably before that. In fact, it had been something that had always played in the back of her mind.

Back when Jess was little it had seemed wise to keep them apart, though it was more about keeping her from the Colonel’s grip than Elvis’. Yet as Jess had gotten older Addison wondered if that had been the right idea. She’d doubled down on it of course. Elvis’ life was unruly, hectic, no place for a child. And as she’d watched his personal life change it had only added to her reasoning. He had another kid, a family, and they wouldn’t get a look in. At every avenue there’d been some excuse, a reason not to bring them together. It had been why she had been so scared when he’d first come back into their lives, watching her as if he’d seen a ghost in the foyer of that club.

But she wasn’t scared of Jess getting hurt. She was scared that Jess would choose that over her. She’d worried, like Gladys had, that the appeal of glitz and glamour would call to her baby in a way she couldn’t stop. She had worried that she’d lose her altogether.

‘Addie she wouldn’t,’ Marci said placing her hand on Addison’s thigh hoping it would give her even a modicum of comfort.

‘Why not?’ Addison asked bitterly, ‘he is her dad and she loves him so much. Not to mention I kept them apart far too long I wouldn’t be surprised if they both resent me for it. I mean he practically said as much.’

‘Addison,’ Marci said firmly making her hazel gaze snap up to her own baby blue eyes, ‘Jess wouldn’t leave you so get that through your thick skull right now.’

‘But Elvis-’ Addison protested.

‘But nothing. Besides neither of you would make her choose between you two. I know you wouldn’t and I don’t think he would either regardless of what was said in the heat of the moment,’ Marci said, the tail end of it becoming louder as Addison looked as though she was going to but in, ‘and anyway say she did. Say Jess tells you tomorrow she’s packing her bags and moving to Memphis. Say she tells you she’s living with him forever and she wants no contact with you would you stop loving her?’

‘Mar,’ Addison said puzzled at what her friend was trying to suggest though she didn’t know if she wanted to given the wave of fear that rolled through her at the mere idea of Jess leaving her.

‘Would you?’ Marci said not backing down from whatever point she was trying to make.

‘No of course not,’ Addison said.

‘So why are you doing that with him? You love him, he loves you, and just because someone might one day leave you shouldn’t be a reason not to let yourself be loved Addie. You deserve to be loved Addison. God knows you’ve pushed it away long enough. But being scared doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do the thing,’ she said, ‘I mean don’t you think I’ve been scared about the idea of leaving Tom? But I’m going to do it.’

At this Addison’s head snapped up. She had known Marci was grappling with her own struggles and yet she had been too wrapped up in her own problems to think about it. She had a million questions and yet none of the coherent, thoughtful and logical ones came to mind. The only words that tripped off her tongue were, ‘for Jer?’

‘No,’ Marci said rolling her eyes, ‘not for anyone. For myself. Because I know what I want for myself. And I want to be happy, I want to do what makes me happy.’

‘And Tom?’ Addison asked.

‘I love him…but he doesn’t love me. He loves the idea of me, this perfect little housewife and that’s not what I want. I want my shop, a career, my life as it is. I mean sure maybe that stuff one day but I want that to be part of the journey. He just sees me as a means to an end. And I know what it looks like but it doesn’t have anything to do with Jer,’ she said looking at Addison who tried to give her friend her most reassuring and non-judgmental look. Marci smiled back, squeezing her friend’s thigh in thanks, before she continued. Though as she listened Addison couldn’t help but notice the way her smile widened as she spoke of him, ‘but he spent an hour talking about setting up a new place and what I could do. He listened to all my ideas and encouraged me and told me I could do it. That’s what I want in a husband. I mean I know Tom’s got all the looks and the money and whatever I want someone who loves me for me.’

‘That’s understandable,’ Addison agreed.

‘Which is why I don’t understand why you’d say no to Elvis. Elvis loves you for you…as infuriatingly stubborn and wary as you are,’ Marci said.

‘But-’

‘No buts,’ Marci said firmly, ‘I didn’t agree when you decided to keep Jess a secret but I didn’t intervene. In fact I think we’ve spent most of our time buried in each other’s lives and yet we’ve been too scared to tell the other one they might be making a mistake. I mean I know you guys didn’t even like Tom and yet you let me run off into the sunset with him.’

‘I guess I didn’t want to be the one to tell you no,’ Addison said before she added with a melancholy smirk, ‘then again when do either of us ever listen to what anyone says.’

‘Maybe we should start I mean thirty-three is as good an age as any,’ Marci said. It was enough to make Addison’s smile dim as thoughts Elvis and Jess started to creep back in.

‘I can’t do it Mar,’ she said with despair, ‘you saw what happened last time…it’ll break me.’

Marci sighed watching that all too familiar expression wash over her friends features.

‘Okay,’ Marci said pulling her friend in for a hug like she’d done all those years ago when she’d stormed to Texas demanding answers. She didn’t understand it though she hadn’t understood the first time around. Back then she had tried to comprehend as best she could but ultimately she had decided to let her friend do as she saw fit for fear she’d only add to the hurt. But not now. They’d been through too much now. They weren’t fresh faced kids anymore and she was sure Addison could take her opinion even if it did sting and as Addison allowed herself to be held she decided to give it to her, ‘but I want you to know I don’t agree with you. I think you’re making a mistake…and I know you’ll say it’ll break you but I don’t agree…in fact I think it could be the making of you both.’

Neither of them said anything after that. Instead, Addison kept her face buried in her friend’s shoulder, allowing the soothing circles Marci was rubbing on her back, as if she was a child, to be a comfort to them both.

✵✵✵

Needless to say the last couple of days in Hawaii weren’t exactly easy. Whilst nothing was expressly said to anyone in the group, besides Marci and Jerry, there seemed to be a noticeable shift in the dynamic. Elvis tried to keep everything the same, well as much as he could, and yet it was hard. It was hard to see how her face plastered with guilt every time she looked at him. How she pretended not to notice when women flirted with him – something that hadn’t been occurring throughout the trip either because their behaviour had resembled that of a couple or he had been too enthralled with her to notice anyone else. It hurt to see how she distanced herself from him, still participating but just out of reach, hoping that her feelings would disappear.

It ate at him, every interaction gnawing at his soul. He wanted to convince himself it would fade, that time would heal the ache in his heart eventually though he knew that was pointless. Fifteen years apart had only dulled the ache, not removed it. The only thing that had healed it had been having her back in his life and now it was ruined. In fact, the ache had only seemed to become worse. This ache, this rotting, gut wrenching, twisted ache inside him felt like it had increased tenfold because it wasn’t as if she was gone. It wasn’t as if he could tell himself, the way he had used to do when he cried himself to sleep in his barrack bunk, that she didn’t love him, that she never had, because he knew that wasn’t true.

And that was why it hurt even more.

He wondered how she could possibly feel this was the right thing to do. He understood her worries, after all he hadn’t been the best husband in the world, but she had to know that it was different with them. He’d try harder this time around. He’d be better. Losing Priscilla and Lisa had been one of his biggest regrets, surely she had to know he’d not risk that again. More to the point he wouldn’t risk losing her.

He loved Priscilla of course and though losing her still hurt he was slowly recovering. He’d even become somewhat amicable with Mike, much to his own surprise, but losing her hadn’t felt the same. It hadn’t torn at him the way losing Addison had, as if the life raft he had been tethered to had cut him loose, allowing him to plummet to the bottom of an icy sea waiting for something to help him back to the surface. Surely she had to realise that?

‘Dad?’ Jess said snapping him out of the daydream he’d been having. She was sitting across from him watching him worriedly as she waited for him to speak. He glanced around, noticing that they were now parked outside the airport, the luxurious and scenic views of Hawaii now gone as they headed for home. He could see Addison climbing out of the car in front, Marci following close behind as Jerry moved to help them with their luggage. They could’ve ridden together, it actually made more sense to given that Jess was getting on the same plane as them and not the rest of the group, yet he couldn’t bring himself to. He didn’t want to watch her make pitiful excuses or thank him for the trip as though she was an acquaintance. Watching her head home when he’d hoped she’d be on a plane to Memphis hurt enough already. So when they’d broached travel arrangements at dinner last night he’d asked if he could have a car just for him and the girls, a last goodbye before they all headed their separate ways. Of course no one had refused him. Not even Addison, who had merely looked at him guiltily and nodded.

‘Ya got everything?’ Elvis said glancing around the car though Jess already had her small backpack on her lap, ready to climb out.

‘Yeah,’ she nodded, ‘my suitcase is in the other car.’

‘Right, right,’ Elvis said as he dropped his gaze to his trousers, fiddling with the material with them as if they had a crease that needed smoothing even though they had been perfectly pressed and laid out for him that morning. He didn’t know why it felt so awkward. Maybe it was because he had been so focused on not having an uncomfortable and painful goodbye with Addison that he hadn’t thought about what he should say to Jess.

‘It won’t be long…till schools out I mean,’ Jess said, ‘I bet we can see each other then.’

‘Yeah, I bet you’re right,’ Elvis said trying to keep his voice light though he could feel that ache gnawing at him as he thought about the implication of that statement. How no doubt it would be Jess travelling to Memphis alone this time.

‘Maybe we could even go to California? I mean I’d love to come and see you at some point,’ she said looking at Lisa who smiled.

‘Yes! You and daddy can come to my house any time you want to,’ she beamed.

‘Sounds good Jessie,’ Elvis agreed though his face fell as she dropped her gaze, fiddling with the straps on her backpack before she spoke.

‘I don’t wanna go you know,’ she said quietly.

‘I don’t want you to,’ Elvis mumbled making her look back up at him, ‘I don’t want either of you to.’

They were both watching him, sadness awash over their faces as his own blue eyes stared back at him. He had been expecting saying goodbye to hurt, he just hadn’t thought it’d be this one.

‘C’mere,’ he said gesturing for both girls to climb onto the seats next to him. They did so quickly, each tucking into his side as he wrapped his arms around them. They stayed silent for a moment, both of them hugging his middle, their arms holding one another as he kissed the tops of their heads.

‘Now you both listen to me okay,’ he said, his voice rumbling against their cheeks, ‘no matter what happens between me and anyone else that don’t change how I feel about you girls okay? You two mean more to me than anything on this god damn earth and I won’t have you forgettin’ it you hear me?’ he said earning nods that ruffled the fabric of his suit jacket, ‘whether we’re together or miles apart it don’t change how much I love you.’

‘I love you too,’ Jess said looking up at him with a weak smile.

‘Me too,’ Lisa said moving so she was knelt up beside him, kissing his stubbled cheek which made her wrinkle her nose as she grumbled, ‘your face is all prickly.’

‘Sorry baby,’ Elvis said kissing her own as an apology. Their interaction seemed to help Jess, her smile strengthening as she pulled out of his grasp, grabbing her bag from where she had deposited it on the opposite bench.

‘I’ll try you know,’ she said as her fingers rested on the door handle, threatening to open it at any moment.

‘Jess you don’t have to do that,’ Elvis sighed, his hand ghosting down her hair and landing on her shoulder.

‘I do,’ she corrected, ‘because I don’t wanna spend forever getting on a different plane to you.’

And before he could say anything she opened the door and climbed out shutting it gently behind her before she walked up to where Addison and Marci were waiting on the curb. They couldn’t see him through the tinted windows, but he watched as the three of them headed inside the airport and out of sight. As the car pulled away, heading to the tiny airport his plane was waiting for them at, Lisa sat herself beside him quietly nestled into his side as if she knew he needed a minute.

As the industrial sight of the airport faded back into palm trees and greenery his mind started to spin. Again it struck him as odd how Addison could think this was what was best. How she could watch her daughter trying to split herself in two to keep both parties happy. In fact he wondered if she could see it at all, after all, Addison had been just like her trying to keep everyone but herself happy.

And selfishly he hoped that his daughter would succeed. That Jess would make her mother see sense about them being together but if she didn’t, if she couldn’t change her mind, he’d let her go. It wouldn’t be easy but if it meant protecting Jess, he’d do it.

✵✵✵

‘Hold on,’ Addison grumbled as she dumped her bag by the front door hoping that whoever was calling would hang on until she could reach the phone. She moved quickly through the house, practically throwing herself across the kitchen counter as she clasped her hand around the receiver.

‘Hello?’ she said as she pressed it to her ear, trying to hide how breathless she sounded given how frantically she’d rushed inside. She was expecting it to be Marci, after all since they’d come back from Hawaii she’d called everyday – assuring Addison it was to sound off about everything going on with Tom in California though she suspected it was to make sure Addison hadn’t cracked. Which fortunately she hadn’t. It hadn’t been easy, the ache inside her never quite ebbing, but she was managing, well just about. Being out of the Graceland bubble allowed her to focus on other things; her job, Jess, Marci. The way she had for almost fifteen years, and that dulled the ache, well until she heard the voice on the other end of the line speak.

‘Addie?’ Elvis murmured, making the feeling she got every time they spoke now roll through her. The kind that you get when you drive your car over a bridge too quickly, a furl of nerves and excitement all in one.

‘Oh hi,’ she said feeling her throat run dry as she stammered out, ‘Jess isn’t here, she’s at a sleepover. I thought she’d told you-’

‘She did, actually it’s you I called to speak to,’ Elvis said quietly making her throat completely dry out. They hadn’t spoken much since they’d landed back in Vegas. She’d answered the phone when he called, the pair of them making excruciating small talk until Jess had dived in, playing both sides as promised. Every phone call had made that ache inside him swell, consuming every fibre of him. And to hear her trying to act as though they were nothing more than friends angered him, the way it had the first time, when he’d force every thought of her away by finding anyone pretty and willing.

‘Oh…what’s up?’ she said as evenly as she could muster.

‘Well I wanted to ask you about the fourth of July,’ Elvis said. There was no reason not to get to the point. It wasn’t as though they’d spend hours talking, like they used to, finding anything they could just so neither of them would have to be the first one to hang up.

‘What about it?’ Addison replied.

‘I wondered if you girls were doing anything for it…if you had plans,’ Elvis said clearing his throat.

‘Oh, uh, I don’t think so,’ Addison said, her stomach rolling again with nerves as she wondered what he was building up to. If they’d have to face one another.

‘It’s just ‘cause there’s this party, here I mean,’ Elvis said, ‘we have it every year and it’s a lotta fun and-’

‘You want Jess right? Well I’ll ask her but I’m sure she’ll say yes. I don’t think she’s been invited anywhere,’ Addison said as her stomach rolled again though she didn’t know if it was at the idea of being invited or not.

‘Actually I was wondering if you’d both like to come,’ Elvis said.

‘Oh…are you sure?’ Addison said twirling around the cord around her finger as that knot inside of her tightened.

‘Worse,’ she thought, ‘him not wanting her there would’ve been worse.’

‘Ads come on,’ he said with a sigh, ‘did you really think I wouldn’t invite you?’

‘I don’t know,’ she said quietly. She wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t.

‘Look I know it’s not been the easiest couple of months but believe it or not I still like ya,’ he said tyring to inject some mirth into the conversation if only to make himself feel better as he pictured the way she’d be chewing on her lip guiltily.

‘I just thought…’she mumbled, unable to finish her thought for fear weeks’ worth of everything she had been thinking would come spilling out. A complete and utter mess of guilt and sorrow.

‘Addie I told you I’m not going anywhere didn’t I?’ he asked.

‘I know but-’

‘Look I meant what I said…and if this is it we need to get it together for Jess. Right?’ he said. He could hear the irritation in his voice even though he hadn’t meant it to come. He didn’t know why after all her stubborn nature and hard-headedness had been the thing that always got under his skin but to hear her flounder, to hear her doubt him, felt worse.

‘Yeah,’ she said hesitantly before coming back firmer, ‘yeah you’re right.’

‘So will you come?’ he asked.

‘Yeah…I mean I’ll ask Jess but I’m sure it’s a yes,’ she said quietly.

‘Well let me know,’ Elvis said and before she could agree the line clicked off leaving her with that knot in her stomach. She had been right, him not wanting her was worse.

✵✵✵

As expected Jess had no qualms about going to Graceland for the fourth of July though she did however seem nervous when Addison informed her it wouldn’t be a solo trip. She didn’t say anything, of course, but as always Addison could feel her daughter’s worried eyes watching her whenever the subject was mentioned. Marci vehemently assured her she needn’t worry and that she’d of course come along to support her though Addison couldn’t help but notice her friend didn’t seemed shocked to hear about the party or ask her to let Elvis know she was tagging along which she could only assume meant she had already gotten an invite from a certain long-locked friend. Nevertheless Addison’s anxieties continued, running through her mind whenever she didn’t busy her brain with something. They bothered her so much so that on the day before they were due to leave she found herself creeping into Jess’ bedroom and slipping into the bed beside her.

‘Mom?’ Jess said hoarsely, her mouth as dry as the desert given the warm summer’s night.

‘It’s me,’ Addison said as she slipped down behind her daughter, stroking her hair gently as she watched Jess’ shoulders move evenly as she breathed. They were quiet for a moment, both listening to the others peaceful breathing and buzz of the cicadas outside. It was a role reversal, Addison climbing into Jess’ bed instead of the other way around, which led Jess to believe her mother would speak first, that all Jess would have to do was wait and it’d come spilling out of her like it did Jess whenever she could no longer contain her worries. But that didn’t happen. As always her mother remained an enigma, whatever thoughts and feelings she was having kept within her so as to not burden anyone else. Of course that didn’t work, Jess knew her mother was hurting, both her parents were, and it didn’t really make sense to try and keep her out of it given that she had spent the better part of the last month fretting about them. Even if she didn’t know what had happened before this act alone would’ve been an almighty red flag but Addison didn’t yield. She wouldn’t allow herself to, too scared to put on her young daughter, so instead she lay beside her, enjoying the way she was still allowed to cuddle her close as though she wasn’t too old to be doing so. That was until Jess spoke.

‘He loves you you know,’ Jess whispered. It was barely audible and yet it hung in the air above them as Addison refused to speak. She couldn’t because the guilt that gnawed at her about Elvis was the same guilt she felt about dragging Jess into all this mess.

‘Jess,’ was all she managed to sigh after a moment hoping her daughter would hear the weariness in her voice and leave the point be. But she didn’t. Instead she sat up turning to look at Addison who pushed herself up into a similar stance as her daughter continued, ‘no, mom. Look I know you think I’m a kid all gung-ho on getting Mommy and Daddy back together but I’m not. What I want is for you two to be happy. You guys deserve to be happy and he makes you happy don’t deny it,’ she said glaring at her mother in a manner so like Addison it was frightening, ‘and even if not. If he breaks your heart so what? You have me. I mean when this whole thing began you promised me that no matter what happened I’d always have you.’

‘I meant that,’ Addison murmured feeling completely like a chastised child.

‘Exactly! And that’s why I knew it’d be okay even if it all went to hell because we had each other like you promised… so please let yourself live a little because even if it all goes wrong we’ll be fine because we have each other right?’ Jess said waiting for her to answer. Addison felt that wave of guilt flood through her once more as she looked at her daughter’s young face.

In fact it felt as though she was looking in a mirror, only she was watching her younger self, not the woman she was now. The one that had been full of hope. Yet the longer she looked at her expectant face the more she realised she wasn’t watching herself, she was watching him. Throughout the years everyone had always told Jess was her mother’s twin yet Addison had always suspected that was because they couldn’t say anything else given that they didn’t have her other parent to liken her to. She knew it was true, of course Jess resembled her mother, but Addison could only see Elvis. It was him she was seeing now, those blue eyes watching her, hoping for her to be as optimistic as she was, the way Elvis watched her. But like with Elvis Addison couldn’t bring herself to agree. She couldn’t make the words come out of her mouth and so all she offered was, ‘you should sleep.’

‘Mom just think about it,’ Jess said quietly, placing her hand on Addison’s knee.

‘Good night sweetheart,’ Addison said gently patting the hand on her knee before she slipped off the bed and out of the room.

✵✵✵

Addison had forgotten how warm Memphis could be and though it went without saying she had become accustomed to soaring summer temperatures in the pits of the desert the balmy heat that settled into her bones the moment they touched down was something she couldn’t say she had missed all that much. Though she supposed she couldn’t blame her warmth solely on the weather given that she spent most of her time on the move, desperate not to leave herself in a situation where she would be alone with Elvis or whenever she was in a room with him she found her entire body warming up, cheeks aflame, every time he looked at her.

Fortunately she had been spared much interaction with him today given that he was playing host, his house overflowing with guests and friends who he expertly entertained and wooed. She remained on the fringes with Marci by her side, allowing Jess to enjoy the holiday with her newfound relatives and friends. They were sitting by the pool, Marci chattering on about the book she was reading, and though Addison tried to remain focused she couldn’t help but let her gaze wander to where Elvis was standing at the barbecue. He was preparing the grill for cooking, stoking the coals, as he talked to Lamar who was standing by his side and as she watched she couldn’t help but notice how relaxed he looked. Though she figured that might have been because for once he wasn’t dressed to the nines. Whilst his look was casual, just shorts and an unbuttoned shirt, it felt in no way thrown together. It felt natural, like everything about him did.

Even being with him felt as easy as breathing so much so that over the past few weeks she’d felt as though she’d forgotten how to. That every move she made felt as though she was trying to kick her brain into gear to remember how to do it, how to function without him. She wondered what it would be like, how in another life she might have sidled up to him, plate in hand as she played hostess. How he would smile and lay a kiss on her temple, never breaking conversation, before he loaded up her plate for her to entertain their guests in his absence.

‘Addison?’ she heard her name being called up and pulled herself out of her daydream long enough to find Jerry standing in between her and Marci’s sun loungers, a drink in his outstretched hand.

‘Thanks,’ she mumbled, sitting herself forward as she took it from him, choking it down quickly in an effort to cover how lost she had been in her own world, a world far away from Marci’s conversation.

‘Can I sit here?’ Jerry said as Marci immediately moved to let him, her bronzed legs swivelling under her as he dropped onto the lounger and handed her a drink. As jovial conversation broke out between the pair Addison busied herself with her drink, suddenly feeling like a third wheel. Though it wasn’t as though she felt awkward about it, actually, she felt content to just sit there and allow them to talk around her without her having to participate but the pair of them seemed to feel guilty about not including her, so after yet another failed attempt by Marci to direct the flow of chatter into something Addison could be a part of she decided to relieve her friend of the burden and stood up.

‘Are you okay?’ Marci said watching her with concern, as did Jerry though his was admittedly more subtle.

‘Yeah fine. Just gonna refresh my drink,’ Addison said tapping her now empty glass as proof she was being truthful and not just fleeing to the safety of the house.

‘I’ll come with you,’ Marci said shuffling to get up but Addison waved her off.

‘And leave Jer on his own?’ she said with a forced smile, ‘it’s fine. Need anything?’

‘I’m good,’ Jerry said with a kind smile.

‘Yeah, me too,’ Marci nodded and with that Addison headed off in the direction of the house.

To say it was cool inside would be a lie though the opened doorway created a funnelled breeze that wafted through the kitchen relieving some of Addison’s discomfort. It also didn’t hurt that she was now out of the way, the curious glances that had followed her most of the weekend trying to fill in the blanks that gossip had left were now gone. In fact she was so relieved to be away from everyone she didn’t even notice Mary, who had been bent over looking for something in a bottom cabinet, was now standing across the counter from her, a hand clutched to her chest as she said, ‘oh child you scared me!’

‘Sorry,’ Addison mumbled though she felt a smile creep in, the first genuine one that had past her lips in the last couple of days.

‘Oh it’s alright,’ Mary said as she started to resume whatever she had been up to, ‘ya need something?’

‘No, no, everything’s fine,’ Addison said roaming into the kitchen and resting against the counter as she watched Mary work, ‘need any help?’

‘Shouldn’t you be outside?’ Mary asked as she started to grease a pie tin.

‘It’s a little warm,’ Addison shrugged. At that the older woman paused, eyeing Addison closely which made her drop her gaze to the carpet, but fortunately she seemed to realise Addison had no interest in talking about whatever was going on and so she nodded and said, ‘well the apples need preppin’ for the pies.’

‘On it,’ Addison said moving to grab the bag of apples from the other kitchen counter so she could set to work, just thankful that at least someone didn’t want to make her talk about her problems.

They worked well for the next hour or so keeping the party flowing from behind the scenes and though they did talk Mary kept it more around lighter topics something which Addison was thankful for. They’d even managed to get into a good rhythm which was only disturbed when Priscilla appeared to inform Mary her husband was on the phone to which she muttered in annoyance before disappearing into the house to answer it.

Addison kept her head down, figuring Priscilla would head back out to the party seeing as her job was now done, but she didn’t and when Addison glanced up she found the other woman lingering on the other side of the kitchen watching her closely. It made a pink tinge flood to her cheeks. They hadn’t spoken much, there hadn’t been a need to, and now they were standing in front of one another Addison felt as though she didn’t know what to say anyway and it appeared neither did she. Luckily they didn’t have much cause to as their was attention was caught by the returning cook.

‘That damn fool,’ Mary said bustling back into the kitchen with her apron now gone and her bag over her shoulder.

‘Everything alright?’ Addison said with a frown.

‘Would be if he weren’t a damn idiot,’ Mary said rolling her eyes, ‘I asked him to do one thing over the holiday, clean my gutters, and he’s only gone and fell off the ladder. Managed to get himself into the house but says he’s hurtin’ real bad.’

‘Oh well that’s no good,’ Priscilla said with a frown.

‘You don’t think he needs the hospital do you?’ Addison asked worriedly.

‘Naw,’ Mary said shaking her head, ‘needs a clip around the ear for bein’ so stupid mind.’

‘Well you should get home,’ Addison said, ‘do you have a ride?’

‘Yeah I’ve got a ride. I better tell Mr Presley though,’ she said.

‘We’ll do it,’ Addison said though she was volunteering Priscilla more than herself, ‘you just go.’

‘Are you sure there’s things that need doing and-’

‘We can handle it,’ Priscilla said looking to Addison who nodded though she hoped Priscilla was happy to leave her to it rather than wanting to do it together.

‘Tell him I’m sorry won’t ya?’ Mary said as she moved towards the side door.

‘Of course,’ Addison said, ‘let us know how he is, okay?’

‘Will do,’ Mary said and then she was gone, leaving Addison standing in the kitchen watching the space where she had vacated hoping that when she turned around she would find she was now completely alone and that Priscilla had gone to inform Elvis.

That however wasn’t the scene that greeted her as she turned around and when she did she found Priscilla had taken to Mary’s station, starting to glaze the chicken wings Mary had been preparing. Addison squashed down a sigh inside of her and returned to the salad she had been tasked with though she suspected it would barely get touched. Still she’d rather do a pointless task than be the one who went outside to go and let Elvis know about the situation even if it was uncomfortably awkward in here.

They worked in silence. Each of them taking curious glances at the other whenever they were sure the other wasn’t looking. Addison supposed it was natural for Priscilla to be curious about her. After all she’d been nothing but a memory for fifteen years and then she’d burst back into Elvis’ life and wreaked havoc, so she figured she was bound to have some questions. Yet what she didn’t understand was just how curious she was about the woman in front of her. She’d spent the better part of a decade watching her pretty face plastered over screens and papers and yet the woman in front of her looked nothing how she pictured. The pale, dark haired beauty she pictured whenever Elvis had mentioned his ex-wife was nothing like the sun kissed brunette across from her. If anything she looked younger now, without all the heavy makeup and ratted up hair do’s and for a moment Addison wondered if this had been what she looked like when they had first met. A natural, youthful beauty. Like Addison had been.

As that thought entered her head she shook it out though there wasn’t much of a need to given that Priscilla had finally managed the nerve up to speak to her and said, ‘so how are you liking the party?’

‘It’s fine,’ Addison said, her gaze transfixed on the cucumber she was slicing.

‘Is Jess enjoying herself?’ she asked. That Addison looked up at, searching for any hint of malice behind the woman’s eyes.

‘Yeah, I think so,’ she nodded when she found none.

‘I’m glad, Lisa really likes having her around,’ she replied casually, and Addison allowed herself to relax hoping this idle chit-chat was all that was going to arise.

‘Yeah, I’m glad they’re getting along,’ Addison agreed. She’d returned to the task at hand, as Priscilla’s gaze dropped to the chicken in the tray, her movements slow as she said, ‘you know she’s quite liking the little family you guys have going.’

‘What?’ Addison said her gaze snapping up which made Priscilla look up too though she appeared as though she was standing firm by her words, floundering in no way.

‘It’s okay,’ she said, ‘you don’t have to pretend.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Addison asked though she didn’t know why. If Elvis was chatty with her no doubt he was chatty with the other mother of his child, his ex-wife no less.

‘The staying apart? You keeping your distance? I assumed it was so that I didn’t feel too put out, I mean I knew it would happen eventually-’

‘You think we’re together?’ Addison scoffed even though it wasn’t completely ludicrous to assume that fact. Hell if this barbecue had been held just over a month ago she wouldn’t have been able to blame her for assuming they were together.

‘Aren’t you?’ Priscilla said, genuine confusion across her pretty features.

‘No.’

‘Oh, I mean I figured from the way he talks about you,’ Priscilla said awkwardly looking down at the tray on the counter though there was nothing more that needed doing to it.

‘It’s complicated,’ Addison said flatly, hoping the other woman would drop it. But she didn’t, in fact she looked up at her as if something had clicked as she said, ‘oh.’

‘What?’ Addison said quickly.

‘You’re hiding,’ she replied.

‘That’s not what this is,’ Addison said tightly though that wasn’t true. She was hiding, she had been for nearly a month, yet for someone she barely knew to point it out felt embarrassing. Even more so as Priscilla started to laugh, an angelic titter echoing throughout the room.

‘What?’ Addison said feeling more irate than intrigued about what she had to say.

‘It’s just funny that’s all,’ Priscilla said, more confident in her movements now she had seen how Addison was shifting. She moved to rest against the counter watching as she wrapped her arms around herself as if she could protect herself from whatever character assassination was headed her way.

‘What?’ Addison asked.

‘I used to worry about this. That he’d fall in love with you again and I worried because I figured that would mean was it for us and I’d always assumed we’d find our way back to each other,’ she said honestly, ‘but looking at your face. I don’t miss feeling like that.’

‘Yeah, well like I said it’s complicated,’ Addison grumbled.

‘I don’t doubt it,’ Priscilla said, ‘but you’ll get no complaints from me if you do get together.’

‘Well thanks but we’re not,’ Addison said curtly, hurling the chopped-up bits of cucumber into the large salad bowl so that she didn’t have to look at Priscilla though she couldn’t help but do so as she asked, ‘why not?’

‘Why haven’t you?’ Addison challenged and for a moment she saw her bristle, but it didn’t deter her. In fact she seemed to have the same opinion as everyone else in Addison’s life – that she needed to know their opinion no matter whether she asked for it or not.

‘I thought he needed time, we both did,’ she started looking at Addison who was watching her closely, ‘I needed to figure out who I was. I mean I used to be focused on being whatever he wanted or needed me to be that I kind of lost myself. I changed my hair, my makeup, I thought if I acted softer or less jealous, he’d stop acting out. But then I realised nothing would stop him from doing that until he found out what was making him unhappy because he could change me all he wanted but that wouldn’t fix anything if he was still searching for something else.’

‘So you get it,’ Addison said finally feeling as though someone was on her side. It wasn’t about not loving him it was worrying that even if he did love her they’d never be quite complete.

‘Not really…’ Priscilla said immediately dashing her hopes, ‘because I think he’s found what he was looking for. I think he just tried to convince himself you weren’t it because you hurt him.’

‘What if I hurt him again? What if he hurts me?’ Addison asked cursing herself for sounding so fragile. It made a smile play along Priscilla’s lips. Not a malicious one but after years of feeling second best to a ghost she couldn’t help but enjoy seeing her as something more human.

‘I can’t say he won’t but I don’t think he’d risk it,’ Priscilla said earnestly.

‘Why not?’ Addison asked.

‘Because I think he’s realised he can’t be happy without you,’ she said earnestly. Addison’s stomach was in knots now, everything churning around inside her, and it only grew worse as Priscilla leaned in and said, ‘question is do you think you can be happy without him?’

Addison stood watching her as she moved away taking the tray of chicken she had been working on outside so that it could be cooked. Her words bounced around in Addison’s brain unable to land so she could make sense of it all. Of course she hadn’t been the first person to try and talk her round, but she had been the only one to make that point.

She knew Elvis could make her happy she had just been worried that like everything in her life it wouldn’t last and the pain would inevitably return.

But was she happy now? Could she say hand on heart that she’d ever be contented living without him? Of course she had been happy before. Jess had made her happy. But there was always something there, that missing piece. She just had to decide if she was brave enough to take it.

‘Hey,’ Jess said as she came in through the back door, snapping Addison from her thoughts.

‘Oh uh hey,’ Addison said.

‘Priscilla said you’re done with the food and needed a hand shifting things outside,’ Jess said expectantly as if Addison should’ve known what she was on about.

‘Oh, uh yeah,’ she said moving to grab the salad bowl so she could hand it to her though as she placed it in her daughter’s hands and found her blue gaze watching her she hesitated and said, ‘actually…I need your help.’

✵✵✵

‘Where is she?’ Elvis’ voice echoed, bouncing off the open office door as he headed inside. Though once inside he didn’t find the scene he was expecting. Instead of finding Lisa with an injured knee he found Addison lingering by his father’s desk and the door closing behind him with a thunk and click that suggested it was now locked, Jess, Jerry, and Marci’s faces peeking through the glass for a minute before they disappeared leaving him more confused than ever.

‘What’s going on? Where’s Lisa,’ he asked looking at Addison who straightened up.

‘She’s outside,’ Addison said unsure of the narrative that her helpers had spun to get him in here.

‘Jess said she’d hurt herself-’ Elvis said. In fact Jess had made out like her baby sister was near mangled the way she’d carried on begging him and Jerry to follow her to the office where Lisa was crying for him.

‘She’s fine,’ Addison said suddenly nervous that her plan to get him alone may have been a tad over the top and thus she tried to explain, ‘I didn’t tell her to say that. Man for a straight laced kid she’s got a flair for theatrics though I guess-’

‘Addie what the hell is going on?’ he asked cutting her off, his voice laced with anger that made her stop in her tracks. He didn’t mean to sound angry, but this had been the most she’d spoken to him all weekend and now she was babbling with things that didn’t even make sense. His stance weakened as she looked towards him, chewing on that lip of hers like she did every time she was nervous.

‘You were right,’ she said quietly.

‘Right about what?’ he asked still semi-confused about the whole situation. Addison shifted.

‘Everything,’ she whispered, moving towards him though she stopped just short of him, wondering if she could touch him or if they were past that, ‘I love you…and I know you probably hate me and I deserve it for messing you around. God, I understand if you want nothing to do with me though if you do I don’t what I’ll do.’

‘Addie,’ he said whatever confusion he had melting away as he pulled her into him, his arms wrapping around her waist her hands on his biceps as she continued, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘For what?’ he asked.

‘Running. I know I shouldn’t have…it’s just that,’ she said biting her lip once more.

‘What?’

‘Promise me forever,’ she whispered, her hazel eyes looking up at him properly as worry plastered her features. His confusion returned.

‘What?’ he asked.

‘Promise me forever,’ she said, though this time it was less shaky as she got to her point, ‘promise me that this, us, is what you want for the long haul. Till we’re old and grey and wrinkly,’ she said her mouth twisting up in a smile as he chuckled, ‘I mean you’re just off the back of a divorce and you’ve only just met Jess. I’d understand if you were searching for something after all that. If you thought that you loved me because it would mean we could be a family. But I’m not the Addison you fell in love with at twenty-two and I can’t build something hoping you’re not gonna fall out of love with the person I am now…’

‘Addie, I love you,’ he said unable to fathom how she could possibly think he was still chasing that seventeen-year-old, ‘do you think I can’t see that you’re different? Do you think I don’t know we’re both new people now?’

‘I don’t know,’ she mumbled suddenly feeling silly for even thinking it. After all she had come to love the man he was now it made sense he felt the same.

‘Honey, I know we’re different and yet I fell in love with you, this new you, just as easily as I did the first time…because we’re still us,’ he said forcing her hand to move to his chest as he moved a strand of hair off her face, ‘I’m still that boy from Memphis when I’m with you.’

‘Promise me forever?’ she asked in a shaky whisper, ‘because I can’t do anything less than that. I just can’t.’

‘Addie I promised you forever the first time. I mean it now as much as I meant it then, you just gotta let me,’ he said leaning in to rest his forehead against hers, closing his eyes as he mumbled, ‘can you do that?’

‘Yeah,’ she whispered.

And then she leaned in to kiss him. There wasn’t any rush to it, their lips meeting and moving against one another in a slow loving embrace but there was more love wrapped inside it than she could’ve ever anticipated. When they broke apart she was breathless, a giggle emitting from her as he pulled the to sit in his father’s office chair, her collapsing onto his lap. He didn’t say anything for a moment, the pair of them watching the other as they revelled in finally being able to just be.

But as she leaned forward pressing another kiss to his lips he found a question swirling around in his mind and he pulled back to ask it.

‘What?’ she asked as he grasped her hand, his thumb tracing gently over her knuckles. He didn’t know what prompted him, if anything he’d keep his mouth shut for the rest of his life if it meant she wouldn’t spook again, but it was something he was curious about.

‘What got you to change your mind?’ he asked, keeping his gaze on his thumb’s movements until he heard her giggle, a sound that made his heart swell.

‘Honestly?’ she asked, ‘Cilla.’

‘Really?’ he asked with genuine surprise. He didn’t even know she knew what had been going on between them. He’d been too hurt to speak about it with anyone properly.

‘Yeah, well everyone’s been telling me how much of an idiot I am,’ she sighed which made him bark a laugh and a scowl to befall her face as she chastised, ‘you don’t need to be too happy about it.’

‘Oh come on it’s the first time ya have ever conceded to being wrong,’ he chuckled leaning up to kiss along her jaw as she rolled her eyes.

‘Well it only happens once in a blue moon,’ she retorted making him smile against her jawbone. It was amazing to think that after over a month of feeling a gut-wrenching ache by the mere thought of her he could now be smiling against her soft skin without a care in the world. Content with her being just as proud and hard-headed as always. Her fingers moved up from where they were resting against his neck to play with his hair making him moan against her without warning. Though it made her smile he felt a blush flow through his cheeks and determined not to deepen it he cleared his throat, looking for a change of direction as he said, ‘so what did Cilla say?’

‘It wasn’t what she said,’ Addison started hesitantly, ‘I mean everyone’s been telling me the same things…it was what you said to me anyway…that morning.’

‘Ah,’ Elvis said pulling back to watch her.

‘I guess I got it more when it came from her…none of them understood, not really…they’ve never known what if fells like after-’ she said hesitating. It was true as much as they tried to understand they couldn’t comprehend how it felt to lose him. How it broke her. But Priscilla did, ‘but she does…the only difference is without you she seems happy and I guess…I’m not. I don’t think I ever have been. Oh God, I bet you think I’m an awful person.’

With that she buried herself into his neck, trying to ignore the guilt inside her at finally admitting the truth of over a decade. It took him by surprise but he allowed her to do it all the same, stroking her hair as he mumbled, ‘of course not.’

‘I’m not saying I wasn’t happy. I mean I love Jess, Mar, our life and everything. And we were happy. I guess I mean I just didn’t feel whole y’know?’ she mumbled feeling Elvis nod against her. He knew exactly what she meant, after all he’d been feeling it for just as long. He didn’t say anything, knowing it was probably better to let her get everything off her chest without interruption, ‘actually I think the only time I started to feel that was…when you came back. That’s why I was scared because you make me feel complete but nothing has ever gone our way and if we lost one another again it would’ve been worse. This time having you close but not having you would feel worse…like a square peg in a round hole.’

‘So you pushed me away?’ he asked. It wasn’t challenging, just trying to understand why she had acted the way she had, but it made her swallow thickly all the same.

‘I convinced myself that not letting myself have what I’d always wanted was better that trying and failing,’ she admitted.

‘But now?’ he asked hoping that after all this outpouring she wouldn’t be so cruel as to leave him out in the cold, like she had done in Hawaii.

‘I wanna try anyway. I love you too much not to,’ she said firmly, words that made his heart soar.

‘Okay,’ he said pushing her so she wasn’t nestled into him anymore but looking him face on as he placed both hands on her cheeks.

‘What?’ she asked.

‘You want forever I promise you forever,’ he said firmly.

‘Elvis,’ she said thickly, trying to push the tears of happiness away and enjoy the moment.

‘But you gotta promise me forever too, okay?’ he said.

‘I promise.’

✵✵✵

As to be expected neither Addison nor Elvis got a moments peace after they were practically pulled out of the office to return to the party. Whilst Elvis was forced to return to hosting duties Addison was squirrelled away by Marci and Jess to inform them of everything that had gone on, their questions never stopping until well after everyone had finished eating. Fortunately as the party continued into the evening they managed to find their way back to one another and though they couldn’t abandon everyone they found comfort in being able to sit together, comforting and loving touches shared throughout the night.

In fact they only broke apart as Elvis took a sleeping Lisa up to bed. Addison headed to the room she had been sleeping in and changed before heading through to Elvis’ bedroom. Though just as she was pulling back the covers to climb inside she heard the door click shut and felt his strong arms ensnare her waist pulling her up to stand against him as his lips met the bare skin of her neck.

‘Mmm,’ she murmured, her fingers reaching up to stroke the back of his head before he spun her around and kissed deeply. He slotted against her perfectly, his toned body radiating heat through the thin pyjamas she was wearing as he held her by her face, leading the kiss in every way. He wanted her. After months of pining and a mere taste of what he could have he wanted nothing more than to lock the door and not leave this room until they absolutely had to. But as she responded to his touch, her fingers working their way down his shirt buttons towards where he was desperate for them to land he was called to his senses. Before anything else he wanted to do this. As he pulled away she looked at him confused waiting for him to explain why he was not getting to the task at hand.

‘Just a minute honey,’ he said moving away from her and into the bathroom. She watched as he disappeared before climbing onto the large bed as she heard him move into the other room. When he returned he was without a shirt, though his shorts remained, and he was holding a small tin box. He clambered onto the bed beside her, letting it rest on his lap as she turned to face him watching him curiously.

‘What?’ he asked all of a sudden feeling nervous.

‘Nuthin’,’ she smiled, ‘I guess you were right.’

‘What about?’ he asked confused as to where her train of thought had headed in his absence.

‘We’re definitely not those dumb kids anymore,’ she said matter-of-factly.

‘How d’ya figure?’ Elvis asked.

‘Well the old you wouldn’t have run off to find some tatty old box when he found a very willing me standing in his bedroom,’ she teased making him smirk.

‘Oh yeah?’ he chuckled as she leaned in to kiss him. He allowed her to, chuckling at her impatience as her hand travelled down his torso, dancing along the waistband of his shorts.

‘Mmmhmm,’ she mumbled against his lips.

‘Well the old me didn’t have something important to say,’ he said making her pull back and quirk an eyebrow.

‘Oh yeah? What’s that?’ she mused watching as he opened the tin. It was crammed full of papers and she was sure that somewhere amongst them she had seen a flash of a picture or two, her face appearing in each of them. Though he didn’t take note of any of them, instead he pulled out something small and shiny and it only took her a second to realise what it was.

‘Elvis,’ she said feeling the wind knocked out of her at the sight of the ring, the one she had seen only once yet remembered forever.

‘Addie,’ he said just as seriously. He was watching her now, a smirk playing on his lips on having knocked her teasing on its ass within seconds. But now was no time for teasing so instead he continued, ‘now I know this might not be the most logical thing to do given that we’ve been a couple less than twelve hours but I figured we’ve waited long enough, don’t you?’

‘I’d say so,’ she whispered, eagerly awaiting him to continue.

‘Ads when I left here all those years ago all I wanted to do was get through my time and get home to you. So I could put this ring on your hand, like I promised I would. Now, I know it ain’t exactly been straight-forward and there’s been a few…bumps-’

‘Mountains,’ she corrected with a smirk.

‘Moutains in our way…. but Addie I love you. I never stopped.’

‘Me either,’ she admitted making his smile widen.

‘So…will you marry me?’ he asked. All she could do was nod, her throat thick with happy tears as she leaned in and kissed him pouring every inch of love she felt inside her heart into him hoping that would convey her answer as she was too overwhelmed to speak. He kissed her back, knocking the tin box off of his lap as he pulled her onto it in its place kissing every inch of her face, her happy tears wet against his lips, until finally he stopped resting his forehead against hers. Her hazel eyes were watching him closely and thankfully her body had decided to cooperate even if the only thing she could say sounded shaky.

‘Forever?’ she asked.

‘Forever,’ he nodded.

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[septembersghost]

Which memphis mafia members do you consider reliable sources when it comes to Elvis?

this is a tricky question because i know opinions vary and accounts have notable discrepancies...it's difficult with everything surrounding elvis because it often feels like, to one degree or another, everybody was looking for a way to exploit their connections to him (not necessarily in a malicious way, though some definitely have done that, but just insofar as everybody relying on him and their stories and experiences with him financially and for other assorted reasons, as comments in this thread mention), and did so especially once he died and had no say in any of it. i have a lot of qualms with the total lack of hesitation in sharing intimate details about his life with the general public that go a bit far beyond explaining his character and experiences, and yet at the same time of course there's an insatiable curiosity and market for it because people want to know about him. it makes me think of the preface shared from june's book: “There have been lots of books written about Elvis Presley, of course, with probably as many personal memoirs among them as have attached to any other cultural figure or entertainer in history. Some have been spurious, a number seem to have been written out of little more than personal rancor, motivation has ranged from love to money to self-adumbration..."

i'm rambling, but sometimes it's difficult to sift out the people still looking after e and his personhood versus those using him for their gain. jerry i would count easily as one of the former, perhaps the most obvious choice there. maybe george klein and billy smith? perspectives range all over the place on charlie hodge, joe esposito, marty lacker, lamar fike, the stanleys, and even larry geller (despite elvis often being open and vulnerable/trusting with him in particular), to the point where i feel like we have to take everything with a grain of salt and be circumspect about individual subjectivity and agendas. red and sonny i struggle with for *multiple* reasons, and given what they did to him (and whoever the third one was involved with that book. god el i'm sorry sometimes i cannot keep track of all of your people...), i think it cut him to the core, from which he did not recover (and he didn't have time). but i also respect elvis' inherent generosity and kindness and forgiving qualities that he extended to the people he loved, even when he was hurt.

tl;dr ugh sorry this is not a particularly helpful answer because it involves so many factors and complicated people. tbh i'm probably not the best person to ask this because my little introvert self that cares more about elvis' humanity and artistry than some of the noise and chaos around him is way less informed about each of those guys as individuals. i do think they all loved him in their own ways, to one degree or another, but their usefulness and incentives in sticking by him could be mercurial. and e was far from perfect himself and i'm sure many aspects of being in that group were not easy, he was responsible for many of his choices, but he also had a retinue of people clinging to his lifestyle. it can be painful to observe how he had this mix of enablers and dependents around him as constant companions and everything still unraveled the way that it did.

edit: i went to the sub to see if i could find you a better/more comprehensive response quickly and still turned up a lot of dispute, but this comment speaks to some of it (also funny how some of the comments here use similar language to what i'd already written, i appreciate seeing those thoughts from others): Each has told their version of their story and of course each person is the hero of their own story, and many paint themselves as Elvis's One True Best Friend. Some, as you mention, had proper jobs, others were really, truly sycophantic hangers-on, some were true blue friends and brothers, and some would barely qualify as part of the "Memphis Mafia" at all - they just happened to be in the right place at the right time and latched on to what little time they had in his periphery. For most who care, I think it comes down to an individual by individual basis...Personally, I think more attention should really be placed on the artists, songwriters and creatives whose influence impacted Elvis's actual creative and commercial achievements and legacy. But people like hearing celebrity gossip, and Elvis fans have always been voracious to consume anything and everything they can about him. People also like picking sides and being in opposing tribes, even over the most petty shit. In our collective cultural grief over the loss of Elvis, trying to grasp onto anything and everything left that we could, we gave them all attention to hear them say nice things, and the media happily gave a platform to those who were willing to help tear Elvis down off the pedestal his fans put him on, too. I think, at the end of the day, people are looking for understanding about what happened. Many would like to take their sides and lay moral judgment on all of them and everything they've said or did, as though talking about who was or wasn't at fault for what happened would change things or help us understand what happened any better. But we weren't there, and never can go back and be there. Some were good, some were bad, some just happened to kinda be there because Elvis wanted or needed them for whatever reason. The only sure truth is that Elvis died regardless of all of them - which is a tragedy. And they're all just background characters who've taken up too much time on center stage. And now that most of them have left, I think it's about time to bring the curtain down.