#last day of may and yes i will once again be exclusively posting gay shit in june

[dragonsballsz]

this is the saddest moment of my life. there's really no way????

[nickireadstfc]

The Foxhole Court, Chapter 11 – Orange Sportsball Gets The Fuck Real

In which the Foxes play their first match of the season, I have questions about American college sports, my Percy Jackson obsession has a brief cameo, and I’m sadly less excited about Actual Sportsball Games than I should be.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Foxhole Court.

           Thursday’s excitement had nothing on Friday’s. The whole school got decked out overnight with vibrant orange and white streamers. Ribbons and banners hung off every sidewalk lamp. Live student bands took over the amphitheater for short concerts and the student newspaper released that morning gave details for the afternoon parade.

Is that, like…………. Normal behavior on game days?? Actual American high school/college students, please confirm. Is this an actual thing???

I mean, I know y’all are big on sports and school spirit, but this big??

Please understand my confusion: At my school, no one fucking gave a shit about the sports teams. I didn’t even know when anyone had games/competitions unless we got told afterwards who won what brilliant award now, and even then like 5% of us cared. And I can’t speak for my uni yet, but I’m pretty sure it’s the same there as well. Do German unis even have sports teams?

I always liked to make fun of High School Musical 3 for having those giant ass banners displaying the athletes hanging in the halls. I am now starting to realize that might be perfectly normal for American schools.

What the fuck.

Also, Neil officially came out now – as a member of the Foxes, that is, of course.

           Neil wanted to cut class and hide at Fox Tower until game time, but athletes weren’t allowed to call out without a legitimate medical excuse. Someone from the athletics committee went around all day counting heads through classroom windows, and Wymack would be the first to hear Neil was absent.

They seriously stalk their students all day in fear they might be skipping class? And these students are in college, they are grown adults, not 14-year-olds. Again, is this a thing, what the fuck??

Then again, we’re talking about the country who invented hall passes. This is probably not the craziest thing around.

Fortunately, the Foxes decide to display their first sign of group solidarity in these trying times and guide Neil from class to class. This is a really small detail, but I love it.

I’m imagining Neil as a lil baby duck who obediently follows a big spikey-haired Matt duck, a small white-pastel-y Renee duck or a glamorous blonde Allison duck, wagging behind them in a tiny duck-sized jersey.

Although, when you think about it, they’re all just lil baby ducks following a big Wymack momma duck.

(Someone draw me fanart, I’m BEGGING YOU.)

I’m getting off track. Back to the plot.

           Andrew hadn’t lied to Neil back in May. In almost every article that talked of Neil’s pathetic experience Kevin was quoted as having high hopes for him. Kevin really had said that Neil would one day be Court.

Because this is the second time this has come up: What exactly does “being Court” mean?? Like, being Captain? Being MVP? Also, is this a regular sports expression or is is Exy-exclusive? Exyclusive?? Help.

A small silver lining of future hilariousness appears on the horizon: An Exy kickoff banquet is going to happen sometime in the next few chapter, and I am HYPED. This chaotic mess of a team + all their rivals + dates + drinks can only equal a Massive Fun Time™.

Fun for us, not for them, might I add. I am dying to see this.

           “[Renee] hasn’t asked [Andrew] yet, but it’s inevitable. (…) Money’s on the table as to whether or not he says yes. Pot’s getting pretty big, so get your bet in fast.”

           The only thing the Foxes had in common besides Exy and hardship was their strange obsession with betting on the stupidest things. Neil had figured that out only two weeks into practice. A week didn’t go by when there wasn’t money on something or another.

A team after my own heart <3 Can I join? I can never find anyone to bet on dumb things in my own circle of friends.

Will I throw this piece of paper in the bin on my first shot? Will the bus be late? Will Friend A and B hook up tonight? Will I lose my (nonexistent) emotional sanity to this series before the last book is over?

I don’t know about the others, but the last one is 100% happening.

           “There’s something we haven’t told you yet,” Dan said. (…) “So Andrew’s technically legally required to take his medication, right? (…) He struck a bargain of his own with Coach. The only reason he signed with us is because Coach agreed to let him come off his drugs for game nights.”

Is this supposed to come as a big plot twist? Because I kind of saw that coming. 10 bucks says Andrew comes off his meds for all Important Moments.

*insert yet another rant about the negative portrayal of mental health meds as barbaric mind-numbing, mania-inducing ~happy pills~ here*

Anyways, back to game day!! Our beloved foxy nutcases are playing against the Breckenridge Jackals, which is shaping up to be a Fun Time™ as they are apparently the biggest bullies around (second only to the Edgar Allan Murder Mob Clique, of course).

However, when faced with his impending wipe-out on the court, our favourite Sassmaster McSavage reaches new levels of Hell Fuckin Yeah:

           “[Gorilla] will break every bone in your body if you give him the chance.”

           “Don’t worry, though,” Matt said. “He’ll probably be too busy killing Kevin and Seth to notice you.”

           “This is my reassured face,” Neil said, pointing up at his blank expression.

SAVAGE.

I actually laughed so hard at that. This is some Percy Jackson level of sass right there.

Come to think about it, I want the entire AFTG series narrated by Percy Jackson, especially the chapter titles.

“I Am Offered A Foxy Deal”

“My Troubled Past Comes Back To Haunt My Ass”

“I Get Dragged Into Some Gay Shit”

“We Kick Serious Jackal Butt, Sort Of”

Remind me to make a full post of that once I’ve finished the series.

Off topic again. Sorry.

Before we finally begin the actual match (and wow, it’s 1.1k words already), Nicky seems to finally get the mental slaps I’ve been sending him since a few chapters ago:

           Nicky looked at Neil. “Hey,” he said, sounding uncharacteristically hesitant. “We haven’t really had a chance to talk after… Well. I wanted to say sorry, but I kept chickening out. Are we okay?”

           “I don’t know yet,” Neil said.

           Nicky weighed that for a minute, then sighed and said, “Fair enough.”

Deep sigh. Who are we kidding, I can never resist a self-aware comic relief, Nicky, you’re still one of my faves. At least he knows he fucked up.

And now, finally: It’s Orange Sportsball time!!

Time for fast-paced sports action, balls flying, racquets hitting, body-checks left and right, a flurry of energy and emotion… that I simply can’t get behind.

I’m sorry, you guys, but I found myself having to double- and triple-read passages here in order to keep up with who is standing where, who is passing to whom and just generally what exactly is going on. Maybe it has to do with my own lack of interest for any sports involving balls (or actually any sports that isn’t dance, cheer, or anything involving performance), but I’m not really excited about this whole game part, to put it mildly.

Don’t get me wrong: I am loving the emotions attached to it. Solidarity, passion, group dynamics and character development shown on the field, give me all that good shit. I just couldn’t care less about who’s passing to who. Forgive me.

Did someone say passion and group dynamics?

           Neil’d watched his teammates fall apart to in-fighting all summer long, but now he finally saw them as a whole. As much as the Foxes disliked each other at times, they disliked their opponents more. They were still too fractured to be truly great, but they were good enough to give him chills.

This is shaping up to be good, you guys.

I can only imagine the sheer gloriousness in the upcoming books when Kandreil finally get their shit together and play on the field as a beautiful unstoppable three-way killing machine. I WILL DIE.

Twenty minutes into the game, Seth is crushed against a wall by three hundred pounds of pure douchebaggery – and I actually do feel sorry for him, not gonna lie – which means it’s time for the moment we’ve all been waiting for:

           “Going on for Seth Gordon is freshman Neil Josten, number ten, of Millport, Arizona.”

           Neil wondered if casket lids sounded like court doors being shut.

Ah yes, thank you for reminding me, even in the face of impending doom, how incredibly extra our boy Josten is.

           “A national champion and an amateur? South Carolina’s gotten even crazier than usual.”

           “An amateur and a cripple, you mean,” the dealer said.

           Andrew slammed his racquet against the goal, making several athletes jump and drawing more than a few wary looks his way.

This is such a small detail but it’s the /best/. Nobody insults my boyfriends in front of me, fuckface.

Bla bla bla more sports bla bla, I’m putting everything remotely interesting that’s happening in a bullet list because let’s be honest, it’s not fucking much.

Neil scores! Twice! Good boy.

Matt takes a card for the team by punching the fuck out of Gorilla, what a babe.

Also, his mom is a professional boxer? When can we meet her. I’m always a sucker for strong women who could kick my ass.

Gorilla has been hitting Kevin’s hand on purpose all the time, which is not cool, yet not surprising, ain’t no honour in Exy injuries, apparently.

That is it, my dudes.

Writing the next chapter on a coach (yet again) as I’ll be visiting some friends in NRW, so I’ll be coming to you live from my Prime Flixbus Office Space, let’s see how that works out. Till next time, ily all. <3

[justanearth-boundmisfit]

This is a personal rant about everything I guess, but with focus on tumblr, feel free to skip if you want.

It´s a REALLY long rant, so under the cut goes.

I´m really getting tired of social networks, but especially tumblr lately. This blog is new, but I´ve been on tumblr for years now, with another blog that has nothing to do with spn or even tv (hint it´s about art). I´ve seen people and blogs come and go, I´ve seen trends coming and go too, and fandoms of course. And here is the thing, I´ve never participate directly with people of the spn fandom, I followed a few with my other blog, followed the Misha´s tag and that´s it. 2016 came and with it the yana campaign and I was really really surprised by the incredible disproportionate hate, even in the tags that had nothing to do with the antis. I just was out of words. Listen, I know people can be shit sometimes, but I didn´t know that people care so little about helping others trough a good cause, only because of a stupid ship. That got to me. Because I think that Misha and Jensen (yes Jensen too) didn´t deserve that. It was really fucked up. I love Misha a lot, I never thought that I would defend a “celebrity” the way I defend him. It´s not because of spn, It´s because of all the good things he does and how amazing as a human he is. So I thought why not open a blog about Misha/Cas (don´t gonna talk how much I love Cas too I think it´s already known)? I wanted to defend him, I wanted to call on people with their fucked up attitudes, but most of all,  I wanted to keep a somewhat archive of all things Misha/Cas. That´s why this blog. 

This fandom it´s not a nice place to be, let´s be honest. Too much wank, too much hate, too many people reading what they want, sending threats, telling to kill one another. I don´t really see the family here. Don´t get me wrong, there´s good people too, but lately it´s very hard to navigate spn tumblr without getting into some kind of wank. I know I rant too, I know. But never sent hate, never told anyone to go kill themselves, or followed a cast member that I don´t like just to trashed them and their families. I thing that all of this is very very low and you can´t call yourself a human being if do it. Not matter on what side of the fandom you are. It´s just wrong.

That gets me to the “sides” thing. It seems that for every little thing that this show has there´s has to be some kind of wank. You can´t make a joke (the other day I posted a joke about a ship and a person got really mad about a little joke), you can´t post a different point of view, and the gods help you, if you criticize the two mains. You may not get out of that alive. If you talk about ships...well...prepare yourself for a wave of hate. There´s always hate. Always. I am a Misha and Cas stan first and foremost. I am a destiel shipper, yes, but I rarely post about that, because I don´t see it anymore. To be honest I became very bitter about it. It must be because it´s been years of suffering about this, for a thing that was supposed to bring me joy and only brings me pain and bs now. So, I would call myself a “ghost destiel shipper”, I was there once, I can´t let go, and I´m stuck now, whether I like it or not. Today some fucker said that destiel shippers fetishize gay pairings. It was a comment on a post that I made about why I didn´t want a female!cas (because of Misha not for the ship bla bla). It enraged me, but I didn´t comment. I prefer not to engage with unicellular hating beings. So delete comment and block it was. It was a blog exclusively dedicated to collect what people say about destiel, and shit on that, no matter what the op intentions were. So, again HATE.

(If you are reading still, you are a saint)

So this is what brings me to the last part of my long long long personal rant. The hate,social networks and anxiety. I have major depression, I´ve been taking pills for 4 years by now. It´s been a long, awful, solitary road, that has no end in sight. Internet, fanfiction, tv shows, movies and music, are all ways of escape for me. Above all internet. I have an account on almost every social network. I don´t participate much, I don´t have friends on them, but I enjoy the info, the pictures, and sometimes, the comments. Lately I can´t anymore. Every time I log in, there´s hate. Above all I find it here on tumblr and twitter too. No matter what you try to say, someone it´s gonna grab it, twist it, and if they are having a bad day, you gonna get shit for that. If they are having a good day, you are gonna get shit for that too. No.matter.the.topic. It can be anything. You may say yellow, and people are going to comment that you are a fucker because you say yellow, why didn´t you say orange? There is ALWAYS someone that complains on something. It´s the tumblr sport by now. It´s really stressful. Now, I need to try and have positive things in my life. The gods know, that I already have a lot of negativity inside my head. So why am I torturing myself like this? Why? I don´t need it, heck I don´t deserve to be treated like shit for liking an actor, a tv show or a ship. No one deserves to be treated like that. I have my opinions? yes. Do I express them ON MY blog? yes. Do I go to other blogs and shit on the blogger? fuck no. So why I can´t enjoy the things that I like in relative peace? I know there´s always gonna be wank. But about anything? About everything? I feel sad every time I see hate or misunderstandings or misreading things. I have a lot of sadness in my life. I don´t need it here too. The thing is that I love seeing Misha/Cas pictures, and graphics and gifs and everything. I love exchanging point of views too. Sometimes we vent or rant, but my blog is not about that ALL the time. I love a lot of things about social networks and especially tumblr. But I don´t know if me being stressed and sad worth it anymore.