#last month i was getting sleepy on the futon and he went ''can i stack quarters on your tummy?'' and started doing it before i could answe

[girlboyburger]

help my dogboyfriend won't stop stacking quarters on my tummy while i sleep

[pinktatertots99]

smoked blunts and steamed hot springs - nanbaka fic

rare pair sinny mentioned once and now i'll never be able to unthink about ever again.

synops: "so, y' think you can handle a night with us?" qi grinned playfully in response. "heh, with you two? a piece of cake."

"so what'dya say? you in?"

"e-eh?!" qi responded, his eyes widening as he situated a bit in the water.

once hearing about building 13's hot springs the chemist couldn't help but feel excitement over it. ah it was the perfect excuse to be lazy to him. and once he and the rest of his cell were invited he felt even more joyous then ever. although, they never thought they'd meet the past winners of said hot springs.

after a rather confusing first meeting of them mentioning how the girls springs were next door and little kids were aloud there, causing liang and upa to take to a different pool there, the three old men shared one and started talking. honestly it was nice for the chemist personally, finally talking with people in his age group.

...just thinking that made him wonder really how old he was but he quickly subsided it, finding this time better then moping about it. and then they were here, in this discussion.

"you sure?" he asked, scratching the side of his neck. "I'm not...imposing, am I?"

"course not." Fuji replied.

"we don't just let ANYONE in on OUR Friday nights." kusatsu continued. qi hummed in thought. it's been a while since he's done something like this, and it'd be a nice break from his mean of cellmates for a night. ah but he felt so out of the game for it, it's been a long time after all. though, this could help brush up his skills...

"I mean, you don't gotta." Fuji started. "just thought it'd be nice having someone new for once."

kusatsu raised a brow at him. "oh what? I'm not enough?"

"hmmmm, wellllll..." Fuji drawled out, snickering as kusatsu huffed at him. "I tease I tease. but really though if ya want another date-"

"actually," qi interrupted. "i'll take you up on the offer."

both men looked at him a bit shocked, looked back at eachother and then back at qi. smirks slowly etched on their features. "oh? do you now?"

"I think I do. it'd be nice for once. need a break from the kids and all."

"so, y' think you can handle a night with us?"

qi grinned playfully in response. "heh, with you two? a piece of cake."

"then it's a date!" Fuji exclaimed as the three shook hands on it. "see ya tomorrow tonight then."

the three men laughed as they left the hot springs entrance, empty bottles in hand and towels over their shoulders. waiting outside for liang and upa the three were lost in conversation when-

"OLD MAN QI-SAN! HELLO!"

qi winced as he looked to see nico run up to the three from the right side of the hall. he then heard the two snicker suddenly.

"old man qi-san?"

"suits you well."

"oh hush." he snapped back. "just wait till Friday. you'll be calling me champion qi-san then!"

"surely, surely." they dismissed as they went to leave. "see ya round nico."

"bye bye Fuji-san, kusatsu-san!"

'why am I the only one called old man?! their OLDER then me for peats sakes!' qi thought to himself as he was now left with the young teen.

"oh, yeah! what were you guys talking about?" nico asked, causing the other to stop his inner moping as he looked back at nico taken aback.

"a-ah that! well..." he paused, realizing now he had a chance. "actually, I need you to do something."

the younger cocked his head to the side curious.

"I'M BACK!" nico exclaimed as he entered the cell. the guys all gave a dismissive "welcome back" and waving lightly to him as they were occupied in their own activities. the younger then started to examine multiple parts of the cell. looking under the stacked futons, opening the bathroom cupboard, opening the closet. it started getting uno's attention.

"hey nico," he started. "what'ya looking for?"

"oh! earplugs!"

he raised a brow. "earplugs?"

"or headphones. anything that blocks out sound."

at this point rock and jyugo started paying attention to this conversation, similarly confused and curious over the otaku's intent for them.

"why?"

"uncle qi-san told me to find some for all of us."

now all three of his cellmates were curious. "so, he wants you to find earplugs because..." uno questioned, drawing it out to let the other finish the sentence.

"he said he's having a sleepover with Fuji-san and kusatsu-san tomorrow night and they'd get a bit loud and he didn't wanna bother us."

"woah woah wait wait wait wait wait WAIT! wait." uno suddenly replied. "he's having a sleepover, with THOSE TWO, Friday night?"

"yup!"

"and their going to get loud?"

"yeah!"

the blonde stared blankly at nico and then back to the other two. "DO ANY OF YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!"

"their...having a sleepover?" jyugo asked, gaining a tug on his one piece and forcibly shook by the gambler. "YOU IDIOT IT MEANS MORE THEN THAT!"

"how so?" rock asked.

"THINK about it. WHY would two old coots, too old for sleepovers, have one and then want US to wear earplugs because they'd get 'too loud'? WHY would they be loud in the first place?!"

"oh! maybe they'll have a pillow fight!"

uno hummed in response to nico. "mmm...I suppose but-"

"maybe they snore loudly?" jyugo implied.

"they can't be THAT loud-"

"or maybe their screaming about how three old guys are having a sleepover." rock commented rolling his eyes at the blonde.

"I suppose- wait HEY!" he realized sneering at the burly inmate. "ohho you and your classy mouth!" he then gestured to all three of them. "SERIOUSLY though you three can't think of ANY other reason for them being loud?!"

there was a shared silence the four had. "...okay, so I'm either the DIRTIEST minded guy here-"

"you are." jyugo confirmed.

"-OR you guys are just that stupid."

"most like- hey wait HEY!"

and with that the four dissolved into bickering amongst eachother until uno interrupted it. "HOLD IT!" he exclaimed to the others. "look ALL I'm saying is, what can three old dudes even DO for entertainment at night that doesn't involve booze or drugs?!"

"aaand MAHJONG! I win." qi exclaimed setting down his last tile and smirking pridefully at the two losers of the round. Fuji and kusatsu both looked at the winning shocked and surprised.

"YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" Fuji yelled. "THIS IS THE THIRD GAME YOU'VE PLAYED!"

"YOU GOTTA BE CHEATING! THERE'S NO WAY!"

"hmmm I'm too loyal to cheat." he replied, giving off a teasing vibe. "or maybe you old coots are losing your mojo."

both overexageratingly gasped at him. "old coots." "how low of you to say."

"hey you were calling me old man qi-san earlier. this evens it out."

kusatsu pouted as Fuji started to clean up the board. "so, we turning in?" qi inquired starting to get up. "actually," he paused from moving as he looked back at the two who had an...intimidating kind of aura. "we've got ONE MORE bonus round for ya~." Fuji confirmed to him.

"think you can take it?~"

qi stared at the two before grinning and sitting back down. "heh, bring it~."

magenta colored eyes started to slowly open as qi groaned, rolling over to his side. he could only get so far though with the arm around his waste. the first thing he noticed gaining consciousness was the sound of a shower head that was then suddenly starting to die down a bit. he then noted the sound of a glass sliding door opening and closing and sopping wet footsteps.

"aw, he still down?" he heard Fuji ask softly.

"nah he's been moving around." kusatsu answered tugging him a bit around his waste. "he's up. just a lazy bones."

the chemist groaned to himself as he opened a sleepy magenta eye, that was cascaded a bit by a loose bang, up to see Fuji looking down at him with a towel around his waste.

"mornin'." he waved lightly at him. qi turned his face back into the pillow he was laying on grunting in response.

"heh, guess we played ya a little too hard huh?" Fuji asked chuckling to himself as kusatsu shook qi's frame more. "aw c'mon sleeping beauty. up and adams. or maybe a kiss'll wake ya up~."

" 't's too early." qi replied sleepily.

"breakfast call'll be in an hour though."

"exactly." qi replied, rolling onto his back and putting an arm over his eyes. "keeping me up for so long, just wanna sleep till lunch."

both men looked at eachother entertained by the chemist and chuckled to themselves a bit. "well either way there's still some hot water left for ya. though, only enough for one."

"guess we're sharing~." kusatsu chimed. qi quickly got up passing the both of them. "yeah, nah." he replied as he got into the shower.

"heh, guess your taking a cold one."

"I already feel like I'm having one right now."

"but seriously though I didn't get any morning cuddles." Fuji pouted sitting down on the futon. "guess I gotta steal some from you." he said leaning forward to kusatsu who then attempted to push him away. "nuh uh! I got em fair and square you can wait."

"oh please now you'll need the extra warmth for the cold shower YOUR getting."

.......

"so, what'dya say we make another time for this?"

qi looked over at the blue haired male sittong on the futon as he struggled getting his jumpsuit on.

"I mean, you don't gotta BUT we don't mind." he shrugged, leaning back a bit. "though, it is nice having a third party around. especially someone young~."

"young?" qi chuckled out. "ah man you really are trying to be persuasive."

"and is it working?~"

qi hummed to himself. "...perhaps."

Fuji grinned, holding his hand up to him. "then, we gotta deal?~"

qi leaned down a bit grasping and shaking his hand. "ya gotta deal." the chemist then felt a tug on his arm as he was brought down onto the other male who started holding him there. "great! I knew you couldn't say no to a deal like this. especially with how convincing it was~."

"yeah yeah keep flattering yourself." he muttered rolling over a bit in the other's lap. "so, we gonna work out a schedule or..."

Fuji shrugged. "it's whatever. we can always work something out later. course, you'll probably need a month to recover from last night-"

"a month? please now i'll be fine by next week."

Fuji looked down at him surprised and humored a bit. "seriously? your asking for a death sentence."

"hey I'm young remember? I can take it."

Fuji hummed in reply. honestly this is what he meant by having someone new into their night's. it was all the more interesting. "we'll plan it out." he replied.

"sure I leave for a few minutes and come back with you two acting all mushy." both looked up to see kusatsu playfully trying to act unamused as he dried his hair.

"hey guess what? we gotta new nightly player." Fuji confirmed gesturing to qi.

"seriously?! great!" kusatsu exclaimed. "hey, lets celebrate with-"

"breakfast's in five minutes 932 get dressed."

all three men looked to see hajime passing by, dragging along a whining chain of familiar inmates.

"booooo hajime. what'd we say about you waking us up so early?" uno whined as the rest of cell 13 was being dragged by a chain of handcuffs.

"dude they have elk meat sausages today! the earlier the better!" rock explained excitedly.

"oh! old man qi-san!" nico exclaimed stopping the chain suddenly to huddle to the cell window. the stop caused the other three to huddle towards it aswell curiously. "hi! how was the sleepover?!"

the chemist was caught completely off guard by the others presence. "a-ah...good good." he replied hesitantly. "I kicked their asses at mahjong last night."

"HEY!"

"NO OUTING!"

nico tilted his head. "mao-what?"

"it's some old timer's game right?" jyugo asked harshly, causing the three men to mope in their cell. uno meanwhile was examining the inside of the cell along with the three.

"hold on." he muttered out. "the closeness, the shower...that can only mean..." his eyes widened in realization as a harsh pull caused the four to leave the window.

"did you guys see that?!"

"see...what?" jyugo asked perplexed.

"you STILL don't get it?! I'm telling you all the evidence was there! those three were totally-"

"quit FUCKING around and move it!" hajime snapped at them suddenly, pulling the chain harder on the four and stopping any further conversation from there.

[summernumber74]

“Summer No. 74″ — Day 3 — 4,922/50,000

Behind the house the sun was making itself known. Still behind the horizon, or maybe just the hills and trees. Judy preferred the hills, the trees. Sitting here on the old sofa staring into the morning night, not hung over but a few inches of center, she remembered the trip she made in high school to see her dying great-grandmother. This was the first time she’d travelled with her mother’s fiancé. The three of them drove through the secretive evil hills of North Georgia, through the softer evil hills of Alabama, the evil flat forests of North Mississippi, then the in the flat evil of Louisiana and finally arrived in the unending plains of North Texas. Judy and her mother hadn’t gone west for at least 5 years, when she was 12 or so, at which time Judy was so spiritually desolated that she never took in anything around her.

 They went back and forth between a now estranged uncle’s home (suburban and unthinkably ugly, an arrangement of blocks with tremendous pitched ceilings) and a hospice center (just typically ugly, like all spaces in the thrall of death). On the last visit to the hospice center, Judy knew she’d be seeing her great-grandmother for the last time. The air on this February day was empty and vicious. Out the window, she saw the barrenness of the plain. On the horizon she saw a few little hills, undeniably just a subdivision, and then it all came together. This was a death. A dry, indifferent, wintry flatness.

 A drop of an adult beverage, “the ol’ glug glug” in Jeremy’s terminology, and Judy was up at 6 on the dot. When she was up this early, Judy came out to sit on the damp couch and through the screen of tree limbs watch the world wake up. Already a pair of laborers had passed by, talked about how bad the bus schedule on this side of town was. Then there were the joggers that always caught their breath sitting on the half rotted log next to the road. Then the cyclist. Now, a break in the activity. Around 7:10, another batch of joggers, then students heading to their 8 AMs, and then and then and then. Sometimes it felt overwhelming, but Judy loved the endless procession of the world, of people’s elaborating on the business of their lives. Judy, for her part, felt most in herself running errands, Making Phone Calls, the kind of silly day-to-day shit that makes it possible to take care of her self. If she could tend to her body, broken and miserable as it was, then everything else was more tolerable.

 Finally awake enough, caffeinated enough, Judy gave some brain space to last night. After drinking and showing each other different playlists on their phones, they played with the BB gun and shot all their bottles apart, the front yard turned over to glass and pellets.  Kathleen got the PS2 she kept in her backpack and showed Judy and Jeremy this thing she found in Final Fantasy XII, then Ken in their sports bra and boxer briefs gave a reading of some choice passages from The Uncollected Dan Brown. Around 2 they all fell asleep cuddling on the futon Judy unfolded in her room. Who could want for more?

Well, more sleep and something to eat. Judy was hungry and feeling sort of queasy from all the coffee. She fried an egg in butter until it was crisp and terrible, then ate it on a dry piece of wheat toast. Even though her hand was a bit shaky from the coffee, she closed her eyes on the loveseat. In a caffeine dream, several dozen read lines expanded and contracted to a song that did not sound like, but that definitely was, “Take My Breath Away.”

 The she gasped away as Kathleen shook her and said loudly, “Judy!” Judy sat up so quickly that her and Kathleen hit foreheads. There was a ‘Klonk.’ Jeremy was rocking back and forth while sitting on the arm of the loveseat, and the arm rocked with him. “What time is it,” Judy asked, her voice half of a groan. Judy reached for her phone and saw that it was 7:30 AM, she’d been asleep only about 20 minutes. “We’re going to go hang out with Marshall at the bakery for a while and then head over to the print shop,” Kathleen said with a sleepy dreaminess, “Do you want to come with us?” Judy smiled slightly at the idea, then, propped on an arm of the loveseat, saw the washing machine. “Ughhhh. I gotta do a few chores, for moving out. I’ll come in around….1? Is that okay?” Jeremy leapt to his feet— “1! You want to come in at…1??” A pause. “Yeah 1 o’clock should be fine.” Kathleen nodded in agreement. “Yeah, come on in at 1. We’ll save you something.” Kathleen hugged Judy and gave her something between a peck and brush on the cheek— sensuous.

 When she heard the door close, Judy sat up and stared at the floor. She stared at it some more. Then she went and ran the load of clothes she’d left in the washer the day before. She played a Match 3 game on her phone for a while then closed herself inside her room. She still couldn’t imagine that she was leaving, and that this room, with its rough wooden floors that slanted at a different angle at every point in the room. She decided to smoke a cigarette in her room as a dumb, minor act of having been here. Paint flakes fell like pollen as Judy opened the old window, lit a cigarette and hunched out into the hot heat. The A/C chugged like a train, nearing it’s fifth death of the summer. Soon, she’d be back at her hometown, bored and belabored. No more waking up at 2 PM, or crying in front of the gas station, or setting off fireworks in the clearing by the tracks. Misery! Her bare torso scraped against the wood of the windowsill, splinter lodged in her rib. “How overloaded. This window is a rotting Longinus,” Judy said aloud to her empty house. Thinking about this summer, she felt the way it’d been a folding and folding of stereotyping, the sadness, the flatness, the seeming meaningless days punctuated by overloaded nights. In spite of that, in spite of the way she could feel herself rubbing against the walls of possibility, she felt good that she knew that, at least— that there could have been more. She wanted to feel the regret raher than not know there was something worth regretting. And she dreaded going home, and being in her old room, and her mother’s ex-husband, and the starchy traffic jams near public schools, and she dreaded being aware from her friends, even if it was only an hour away. An hour in any direction anywhere on the world could mean anything. An hour north or south or earlier or later, it mattered. Judy moved her laundry.

 The book return slot on the exterior of the library had been bolted shut for the last month. Judy walked into the air conditioning— noon and the heat outside was in its full swing— and felt the slight quiet pleasure of being in a pretty public library. This one was late modernist, low ceilings and wide avenues, with a few po-mo touches for new public study rooms. She approached the front desk and the librarian on duty, a soft-faced man with a piece of paper taped to his light jacket saying “He/Him Pronouns.” Judy made sure to give off extremely transgender energies.

 “Hi, how can I help you today?” The librarian was in a brief mood. Judy set the books, close to tumbling, onto the desk. “Hey, I need to return these books.” “Ok. Let’s see here,” and he swiped book after book across a red light scanner. Each book was accompanied by a throaty bark that Judy (shrewd one) figured meant they were overdue. This would be a thing.

“Are you aware that this books are overdue, some of them by several months?” The librarian was bored and a bit acidic.

“I’m not, um, surprised. What’s the fine?”

“Seventy-four dollars and thirty-one cents, exactly.”

“Well. Interesting. Anyway, they’re not mine, so, I’ll, uh try to get in touch with my friend about it. Umm, I’ll try calling him now, actually. Let me step outside.”

The librarian was unconvinced but turned back to his work. Judy rushed back to her car and exhaled from how hot it’d already gotten. She drove back home and stuffed the laundry, mostly dried, into a trash bag. While there, Dani came from her room. “Hey. So, I was at the Little Roll this morning, and saw Jeremy and Kathleen.” “Oh,” Judy asked, trying to get a read on Dani’s ambiguous tone.

“Yeah.”

“Uh, okay,” Judy said, sort of offput. Dani walked back into her room and shut the door. Judy checked her room to make sure there was nothing else to take down to the donation center. She remembered there was a stack of records in her trunk that her old roommates had given. No doubt they were now melted. She brushed aside the thought of looking at them.

Even having done so little in this crusty house, time had gotten away from her. Judy threw her bag into the backseat and drove to the big donation center.