#last night i was like 'i wonder where mushroom friend is i hope they're doing ok maybe i should ask' but no i was the fool who didn't post | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-unknown-storyteller · 5 years

Text

Small

(Universe by @linkeduniverse)

(Based on this ask by anon)

Summary: People say that only good, well-behaved children can see the good-hearted Picori. They hide around the house and come out at night to fix small holes in your clothes or help your flowers grow just a smidge taller at night.

So keep your eyes and ears wide open and you might just spot one of the kindest creatures in Hyrule.

Given you yourself are just as kind.

_______

“I don't quite know if all of you can go through the gateway, but we won't know until we try. Here, give me your hand, Hyrule.” An outstretched hand reaches for Hyrule and pulls him upwards onto the small tree stump. He looks down at his feet and stares at the small marks carved into the wood. Well, “mark” is an exaggeration. It's just a small X really.

“I don't like this. Why do we even have to go to these… what did you call them? Midgets?”, Legend interjects, looking at the stump with a frown. He would like his body to stay exactly the same as it is now, thanks, no shrinking needed.

Four chuckles. “Of course, you would manage to insult their size and appearance in one word, Legend. Even without meaning to. Don't let them hear you call them that. They may be small, but they've still got their pride.

To answer your question… there’s no reason, really. I just thought since we're in my Hyrule, I could show you around a bit.” Four grins at them, then taps his left foot twice on the stump. “Brace yourself, Hyrule, this may be a bit unpleasant,” he smiles, giving his companion a heads-up.

Immediately, a rippling sensation races through their bodies before Hyrule has the chance to prepare himself. His hands are starting to feel weird, first and foremost. He brings up his left hand and sees it shaking and trembling vigorously. It’s getting hard to breathe and he’s starting to feel lightheaded. It's as though someone is pressing down on him from all sides but below. His chest feels too small for all the air he wants to take in right now. The air around him seems to drop drastically in temperature or is that him? All he knows is that his cheeks feel warm while his arms have goosebumps.

His eyes dart around until they latch onto Four next to him. He looks completely fine. Hyrule, on the other hand, feels anything but fine.

Everything feels wrong, imbalanced, the only constant being Four’s cold hand in his right. Hyrule is sure that his knees are about to give in on him. He loses his grip on Four’s hand and can do nothing but let go completely. He promptly loses his balance as well and stumbles to his left until he is stopped by a wall that wasn't there before. A shallow kind of pain pulsates through his head and he just slowly lowers himself to the ground, head and back resting against the wall. His body is aching. He feels tired. So he closes his eyes for just a few seconds. Just a few seconds…

________

“That was horrible, Four! I know you want to show us your Hyrule, but why did you have to start with this?! That's one bad first impression, alright.” Wind’s exasperated voice travels over to where Hyrule is propped up against the wall and wakes the sleeping hero.

“Ah, sorry, I forgot how incredibly bad shrinking for the first time feels, I’ve been doing it for so long. But you're going to love them, just you wait. I promise it's going to be great!” Four’s usually calm and quiet voice has an excited bounce to it that any of them rarely get to hear.

“Them? Who are them?” Hyrule says, coming up from behind them with slow careful steps. His head still feels a bit heavy. He looks to his left and sees a giant mushroom five times his size. It is massive! He looks over to Four with a disbelieving but also fascinated expression.

His gaze then travels over to his right and sees Wild laying on the ground, his cloak thrown across him like a blanket. “Why…”, he trails off, pointing at Wild with confusion.

“Oh, let me explain,” Four says, rubbing his neck in embarrassment. “I kind of expected it, but only a few of you were able to pass through the gate.”

Hyrule then notices that besides Four, Wild and himself, only Wind is there with them. Wind and a very grumpy looking Legend.

“I guess most in our group are already considered ‘adults’. Time and Twilight already felt nauseous when they stepped onto the tree stump. Sky and Warrior first felt fine, but then jumped down from the stump as if it had burned their feet.” He looks up towards the crack in the wood above them. They're inside the stump!

“You and Legend were able to pass through alright-”

“If you can even call ‘alright’. My breakfast in the corner tells a different story.” Legend grimaces at said corner.

“Sorry.” An apologetic smile. “Wild’s transformation on the other hand, was quite strange, I would say. He could access the gate just fine, even the process of the shrinking barely affected him which is even stranger, given how badly you two reacted.” He walks over to where Wild is resting and recovering. He watches him with a thoughtful expression. “He was fine, but when he took a step forward, he just suddenly collapsed.” Worried looks are exchanged.

“I think, it's related to how he slept for a hundred years. Technically, he's 119,” Four continues. “But his memories were simultaneously wiped clean as well, so maybe…”

“It doesn't really matter, anyway,” Legend grumbles, annoyed by all this speculative crap. “I'm sure he's fine. He looks alright to me. Let's just wake him up and finally get going.”

________

“Do all the others know where we're going?”, Wild asks, looking up at the grass blades around him that are at least three times his height. Legend was right, he was totally fine then. Just a bit shaken up from the sensation of passing through the gateway. It reminded him too much of…

“Yeah, they know. After we found out that only us four could pass through, I told them to go north until they see a tree with blue berries. Well, they really only have to look to their right. It's basically right next to the portal. You all probably noticed,” Four chirps, seemingly in a fantastic mood which jumps over to Wind and Wild who are starting to get just as excited. If a mushroom is already impressively big, then how massive must that tree look from their perspective down below.

________

“Can you see them?”

“Yeah, down there! Oh Hylia, they're so small and adorable!”

“Calm down, Sky. Let's just keep an eye on them. With Hyrule and Cub on the team something is guaranteed to go wrong.”

“Have a bit more faith in them, will you?”

“No.”

______

“Welcome to the village of the Picori,” Four says with a happy grin on his face.

“Wow!!”, Wild and Hyrule cry out at the same time. They look up at the tree canopy impossibly far above them, adorned with bright blue berries that make Wild’s mouth water. Their eyes travel down the tree stump until they stop at a forest of four leaf clovers towering over them and giving the small houses beneath them shelter. Small stones on the ground on either side mark a path to the village.

Hyrule jumps with an excited clap and makes his way to the small cottages. Wild follows closely after, while Legend takes long strides to the small village as well.

Most of the houses are built on small raised platforms, probably to keep them from being washed away, should it rain anytime in the future. The somewhat rounded roofs of those houses that were made out of wood were painted in subtle yellows and blues, paint made from flowers and those blue berries if they had to guess. The door frames were decorated with all kinds of dried flowers, leaves and empty nut shells.

Others are actual pots that were somehow cut down in the middle and flipped closed side up, finished with a small wooden door attached to its open end. The remaining ones look like small clusters of mushroom. Blue, red, yellow. They are small. They look like fly agarics. They are perfect.

“Come on, I want to introduce you to some of the Picori,” Four interrupts, waving them over to one of the blue pots. He gently knocks on the door. “Addison?”

They can hear small feet approaching the door before it is swung open to reveal a small mouse-like creature with pointy ears, dark brown hair and a red pointed hat. Their clothes are made out of leaves and a feather with a red end peeks out from underneath them.

“Oh, travellers, welcome,” the small Picori says, nodding their head. As they scan over the small group of people before their door, their eyes fall on a certain long-haired hero.

“Link, it's wonderful to see you!” They grab Four’s arm and gently pull him inside their home, gesturing for Wild, Legend and Wind to follow as well. “It's been such a long time. Who are they, by the way? Are they your friends? They kind of look like you, are they your older and younger brothers? It's been such a long time since you've last visited us. I already said that, but I'm just so excited to see you again!

Last time you were here, you took me on quite the journey. I hope that fairy we finally found could help you on your travels back then. Anyway, are they your brothers or no?”, the Picori stops their rambling to turn their head slightly to the right, giving Four time to answer their questions.

“No, they're… well, it's hard to explain-”

“We’re incarnations of each other,” Legend bluntly states, watching Addison’s reaction.

“Huh, neat,” they respond, going through their cabinets in search of something to eat. “Anyway, it's nice to meat you, my name is Addison. I’m sure you must be hungry. If not, then I'm sure you're at least up for a snack. Ah, there we go.” They pull out a golden piece of roasted chestnut and a few small cups and plates. They set them all down on the table further back in the room and wave the group over once again.

At first, all the Links except Four stand there with a dumbfounded expression, surprised by their response. “Why aren't you-”

“Oh come on, we Picori folk have witnessed quite some strange and spectacular things. Incarnations are the least surprising out of all the things we've seen,” Addison explains, stirring something inside the jug they're holding.

“Alright then,” Wild says, sitting down at the desk. The others follow. The Picori walks over to their guests and fills their cups.

“What is it?”, Wind asks, watching with a curious gaze as his cup is being filled with some kind of dark blue-ish liquid.

“Chestnut and bloo berry lemonade.”

“Blueberry?”

“No, bloo berry. The things that grow on the tree above us. It's quite scary when they drop down in the summer, but they're really delicious. Try it.”

“Thank you, Addison,” Four smiles, taking a piece of the chestnut and a sip from the lemonade. It really does taste delicious, but he already knew that.

“So, what brings you here, Four and friends of Four?”, Addison asks, big happy curious eyes watching them. Their pointed ears twitch in excitement.

“Wait, how do you know my current name I never-”

Addison shoots him a cheeky grin. Four rolls his eyes in amusement and continues.

“Oh, it's nothing, really. We changed, uh,” Four hesitates, “ we changed world's again and landed in mine and I thought it would be fun to introduce you since you probably already know most of them.” A grin.

“Ah, sure. You there with the red cap,” the Picori looks at Legend. “Show me your left boot.”

With much confusion and a bit of annoyance mixed in Legend takes off his boot and lets the Minish take a look.

“Hm? Oh, I know you. Legend, right? You were in Lorule, solving treasure hunter rooms, and ripped your boot while trying to do that pyramid puzzle,” Addison plays with their feather, thinking, “multiple times, I think. You couldn't do it, tore your left boot and threw it against the wal-”

“We got it. That's really creepy, Addison, why do you know that?”, Legend says, giving them a weirded out look.

“Because I was the one who fixed your boot.”

“Oh… thank you.” Legend looks down at his left boot that looks exactly like his right. No tear, no seams.

Addison turns around and looks at Hyrule. “I know you as well. You accidentally sliced the straps of your bag off in a fight, it was fun to sew that back together, Hyrule, thank you.” Their eyes swivel over to Wild. “The only thing I have to say to you is… please take more care of your clothes. The amount of tears and holes we have to fix each night is atrocious.”

“Sorry.” Wild tucks at his cloak, then at his tunic to check for said holes, slightly embarrassed that he made them do so much work.

After a short pause where everyone just enjoys the drinks and the food, the small Picori stands up and smiles at them. They opens the door of their home. “Done with your snack? Then let's go exploring.”

_______

It's late but I really wanted to post something, so I'm just gonna make it into two parts. Wouldn't have fit into one post anyway since tumblr mobile is stupid.

#linkeduniverse #addison writes #small #self-insert #hero of the wild #hero of legend #hero of hyrule #linked universe #hero of the four sword #pt 1

158 notes · View notes

purplegeekypanda · 5 years

Text

A Restless Night

This is long, and I am on mobile. Please enjoy.

I don't know what happened. First off I'm sitting at a large table with what was left of my lunch sitting in front of me, and then the maid mentions my housing situation. Like how did they even know? The man, whom, invited me to lunch said that I can live with him.

I didn't know what to do, thinking about all the reasons to stay, my answer should have been an easy yes.

But no.

I have oolons if problems and quirks that make living alone in a small space, preferable. So what do I say?

"Can I see the room?"

"Of course darling," Mr. Nihelim held no hesitation. Like he has no problems whatsoever. Just like that he stood and all but pranced out of the room.

I turned to follow but nearly bumped right into Neo.

Now that I'm standing, I can see he's not all that tall, he seems to be five something feet tall. No taller than me really. Brown hair tucked back in the hood of his long, black coat. Being this close I can see his face. Looking at him he appears no older than me. Maybe in his twenties.

But I know better. I'm an artist and an author and I have spent a lot of time watching other people.

Everyone has a book, it's hard to see and you won't if you don't know where to look. The face is the cover and the eyes are the summary.

His face is young but his eyes are ancient. This man has seen more than most anyone should. And coming back to reality, I notice that I'm not the only one reading.

He looked me dead in the eyes.

"You seem powerful," he said. Voice like a good cup of coffee. Bitter, a little sweet, and eye widening.

"Come along darling, despite my behavior I don't have all day." I heard the head of the house call from down the hall.

"It's alright Miss. If you move in then we will take care of everything." Ajaun stood to my side, waiting.

_________

As we walked I got to see a bit more of the manor, everything about this place is big and gody and rich.

The room I was walked to was on the third floor, just a bit down the hall on the right.

Each hall seems to have a color theme. The one we are walking down is green and floral, earthy tones and naturalist designs make it very beautiful. Almost as if I were in a forest.

We stop in front of a door, wide, dark wood. Grass, moss, and a few mushrooms are painted to the bottom. The frame is carved and painted with winding ivy. The sad part is ...I recognize the door.

It's a Fay Gild's door, from one of my works. They led to springs, whether they are of wealth or wrong. You simply had to hope.

This mad man really is a fan.

________________

The room is big.

About as large as the entirety of my last apartment.

And so where the last three. To tell the truth I liked the first room. The hall was beautiful, the setup was simple. "Is this one not to your liking?"

Ajaun has been patient and kind this whole time. Showing me rooms and getting me things, answering my questions. "To tell the truth, I actually liked the first room."

"Alright let's get you moved in."

"But that isn't the problem."

"Oh?"

Honestly, I don't know what to tell them. I mean things have always been appearing ever since I was a child. Sometimes they're nice small things like that flower. I drew it as a child. I woke up with it on my dresser but then there are the things that aren't as good. I have no clue where that maroonlian timberwolf came from much less of one as to what my brother did with it honestly. Truly I don't want to cause trouble for these kind people.

"I….um, things happen around me. I don't know how to explain it. Things appear and as nicely as this place might be protected from the outside world, stuff might appear on the inside….around me. it happens all the time I don't want to cause any trouble."

"Dear," The voice was smooth and deep, almost like honey. They said it as if I was being playful. I'm not a joke. I don't think they think I'm a joke. It's almost as if you're trying to call me down. "Odd things happen around here all the time. Whatever you can manage to conjure up will probably not be nowhere near as bad as to what those two get up to.."

"Alright," I give in. These people are too kind to accepting. "But you can't say I didn't warn you."

"I'll keep that in mind."

__________

I had managed to get my room how I wanted it.

Dinner was interesting, sitting between Mr. Edgy and Mr. Eccentric surrounded by professional crossdressers just gives it that air.

Mr. Ninhelm grabbed his Champagne flute and tapped it with one of his forks. "Friends, servants, Missy."

What appears to be a butler stated that it was a good one.

He thanks them and continues, "we are gathered here tonight to welcome a new member of the household. Miss. Purple Panda" he cringed a little at my last name. "Please rise, let everyone have a look at you. Everyone, butlers (he gestured towards the maids), maids (gestured towards the butlers), Missy, Neo Tonberry. The most recent member of our little 'family'. I expect that you trete he with the same kindness and grace you trete me….or don't, it's a free country, you are all your own people. Now I believe it was time for dessert, Ajaun what did you make? I believe I smell pudding.

_________

What an intriguing first evening. After dessert (pudding) Ajaun walked me up to my room. I took a shower and dressed in something comfy.

I….I found I could not sleep. It's to be expected. New place, the smell isn't right. The corners are too dark. And as always I have too much energy to sleep, even when I'm exhausted.

"Well, a walk never hurt," I mindlessly muttered into the Hall after I opened the door to the hall. The sight I was met with was breathtaking.

The hall designed to look like the Gilded Woods by day was practical magic at night. The lights were turned down to reveal the pixy lights and glow tabs. Walking down the hall, it felt like there should be Fay popping across the hall to one party or another.

I walked the halls, that at day are very well decorated, almost come to life at night.

I was pulled out of my dazed wondering at the top of the stairs in the entry hall. It took me a moment to find what had actually pulled me out of my wandering mind. The door was jiggling like the locks, and the density of the door was being tested.

Then it struck me, someone was trying to break in the front door. I was about to call out when I was taped on the shoulder. Turing to find the Lord of the house in his night where (robe, slippers, and silk pajamas), wasn't to big of a surprise.

"Don't worry darling we already have this taken care of."

He walks past and he is .… in a dress? When did this happen? He stepped down three steps, the door opened, and a spot light picked up and he started to soliloquies.

The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. At this point I noticed that Ninhelem was in three inch stilettos. As in the blade stilettos, actual blades on the bottom of his feet. His hair is pulled back curled with golden twine and expensive jules. Wearing a golden gown encrusted with sequence. Safe to say a figure of beauty and wealth.

"Madam and Measures,

We welcome you tonight

As the dining room probably presents

Your dinner."

The look on the breakin's face is priceless. I immediately recognised it as the opening to the 'Beauty and the Beast' Be Our Guest.

"Be our guest

Be our guest

Put our service to the test

Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie

And we provide the rest…."

At this moment the burglar is gone, I'm in stitches as the burglar ran out of the house screening, and Misure Ninhelem is fabulous.

"I told you I had this handled."

"How did you know it would work?'

"Darling, I've been doing this for years. Wouldn't you be terrified if a man in a full ball gown walked down the stairs, seductively, singing to you?"

"Yes, yes I would."

After that I returned to my room, wrote down some script, and went to bed.

#oc #original story

2 notes · View notes

bobbystompy · 5 years

Text

68 Quotes I Enjoyed From 2019

Below are my favorite quotes from 2019. Though most occurred throughout the year, some took place before but were encountered during.

1) “I don’t bitch about Millenials.

John Entwistle once complained that he didn’t understand rap. Pete Townsend said, ‘It’s not our job to understand it. It’s our job to get the fuck out of the way.’

New generations come of age. The older generation’s job is to shut up and adapt.” - @danagould

2) “I can’t do drugs with you until we kiss.”

3) “If you pay me $50 I'll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.” - @DanaSchwartzzz

4) “A human being is a dangerous thing to let loose in a room with itself, when it cannot think.” - Roger Ebert

5) “There are no bad bourbons, only better bourbons.” - Dave Hernandez

6) “You can’t put a dollar in a kimono.”

7) “This is how it was.” - rampant takeaway from watching ‘Superbad’ several years after its release

8) “What if I had been born fifty years before you in a house on the street where you lived / Maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike / Would I know? / And in a wide sea of eyes, I see one pair that I recognize” - Ben Folds, ‘The Luckiest’

9) “Learn the rules so you can break them.”

10) “Nobody makes chili for two.” - Stacy Massey

11) “‘Best city in the world,’ I mutter to myself, as i adjust my ‘driving blanket’.” - Chicago resident Deanna Belos, during the 2019 Polar Vortex

12) “Dude, no one’s ever got arrested for listening to Counting Crows.” - Ricky O’Donnell, justifying late night music volume at his party

13) Bill Belichick: We’re going to have fun tonight. Rob Gronkowski: Yes we are. We deserve it. Belichick: You’re damn right. Gronk: I haven’t stepped out in like eight months. I gotta step out tonight. Belichick: I’m with you, man. I’m even going to step out. Gronk: Oh, I like it!

A Super Bowl winning exchange.

14) Center David Andrews thanked Bill Belichick for giving him "a shot".

Belichick disagreed with it.

Andrews: Thank you for giving me a shot. Belichick: A shot? I didn't give you shit. You earned it! I don't give anything.

Another Super Bowl winning exchange.

15) “We elected one of the very worst living human beings to be President, and it's exhausting. Each and every day, it's an exhausting slog, just to exist in a world where that's true.” - Michael Schur

16) “Some of y’all always picked Odd Job when you played Goldeneye and it shows” - @thedad

17) “Any app is a dating app if you try hard enough.” - Z.W. Martin (though he says it’s lifted)

18) "Once you're as woke as I am, you learn to feel bad all the time.”

19) “Everything’s a balance beam when you’re 90.” - John Dingell

20) [I wake up in a world where The Beatles never existed]

Me: Check out this song I just wrote

[I begin playing “Ob La Di Ob La Da” without having first built up years of goodwill]

Crowd of people: Wow, this sucks ass

-- @seanoneal

21) “People change people.” - Corey Matthews, Girl Meets World

22) “The easiest thing to do on earth is not write.” - William Goldman

23) “Dan could be like a difficult uncle. I didn’t love his fire-breathing conservative politics. I didn’t love the transformation that came over his novels. In Semi-Tough, he created two benighted Texas jocks and laid their prejudices bare. He was declaring himself a member of the Mark Twain coaching tree. In later books, Dan seemed to be trying to prove he could still tell a racist joke. He insisted that his memoir—the last truly immaculate piece of writing he delivered—include a tirade against political correctness. When his editor said people might be offended, Dan said, ‘Fuck people.’

There are certain writers whose style you pilfer. Certain writers whose moral fiber you try to inherit. For me, Dan represented a third category: a writer whose aura you replicate—or, failing that, try to stand in for a while.” - Bryan Curtis, on Dan Jenkins

24) “Never marry anything. Never choose. Even in love, it's better to be chosen.” - La Dolce Vita

25) “An uncluttered, uncomplicated happy ending might sound wonderful, but it’s hardly ever satisfying. Because the value of great stories lies in the tension between desire and need, between the yearning for the ideal, and the unshakable conviction that ideals don’t really exist, at least not the way we want them to. A great story should hurt a little when it leaves us. There should be some hope, but that hope should remain somewhere just an inch beyond our fingers, because that’s the truth. Even if you had all the perfect moments in the world, you’d still be reaching.” - Zach Handlen, on the Futurama series finale

26) “You can’t see him because he has sunglasses on.” - Alissa Levy

27) “The cinema is the greatest art form ever conceived for generating emotions in its audience. That's what it does best. (If you argue instead for dance or music, drama or painting, I will reply that the cinema incorporates all of these arts).” - Roger Ebert

28) “‘Are you gonna let politics ruin a friendship?’

Yes tf I am

People talk about politics as if it’s this isolated, abstract concept that only matters at election time. Somebody’s politics is their world view. It’s whether they think certain human beings deserve rights. It’s how they think the world should be. And if somebody thinks that the world should be colder, meaner, less accepting and downright hostile to people that are different to them, then sure as fuck is the friendship over.”

29) “Can the Supreme Court get me mushrooms?” - J-Papp

30) “Any song under two minutes already has a head start on its way into my heart. Just scream at me and then leave me.” - Drew Magary

31) “Long neck cold beers never broke my heart.” - Clemson Tom

32) “I’d just like to point out that the last spoken words of Game of Thrones were:

‘I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel.’”

- @Authoroux

33) “Just once before I die, I want to toss my keys to someone and tell them ‘Bring the car around’.” - Mike Skully

34) “For all the weight they're given, last words are usually as significant as first words.” - Grand Maester Pycelle, Game of Thrones

35) “The best remedy for unrequited love is a trip around the world.” - Cheers

36) [on switching from a hotel to a motel]

Manny: I don't like the sound of that. A lot of amenities disappear when an H turns into an M. Jay: Hey when I met you, you were eating cereal out of a bucket.

-- Modern Family

37) “You and Lindsey don’t want to be ‘estranged’. Estranged is the relationship we want to have with our mothers.” - MegFil

38) “Cigarettes are undefeated.”

39) “My toes are like my fingers on my feet. I can pick stuff up with them.” - Tracy Cunningham

40) “Republicans govern without shame, Democrats shame without governing.” - Bill Maher

41) Sam: I don’t understand the vagaries of the Internet Josiah: Post often, without thought, and you’ll either get cancelled or cancel someone else.

-- Blink-155

42) “Hang a lantern on your problems.”

43) “What a weird web we weave.” - The Situation, The Jersey Shore: Family Vacation

44) “Let the ocean worry about being blue.” - Alabama Shakes, ‘Hang Loose’

undefined

youtube

45) “Honesty without tact is cruelty.” - Shelley Rokos

46) “My whole life is the wrong porn link.”

47) “One parent can take care of 10 kids, but 10 kids cannot take care of one parent.” - Joe Gestetner, via “an old Yiddish saying”

48) “There are no heroes in the room.” - Classics of Love, ‘Gun Show’

undefined

youtube

49) “If I am a little dismissive, it's only because of my harrowing backstory.” - Mitchell, Modern Family (on why he doesn't like sports)

50) “Every time I’m wearing black, I meet a dog.” - Tracy Cunningham

51) “Shower sex? Why would I fuck in my crying chamber” - @chridollarsign

52) “My theory about quarterbacks, having written about some of them, is you either have to believe in god or think you are a god.” - Mina Kimes

53) “The contradictions of capitalism always manifest in our lyrics if you look deeply.” - Blake Schwarzenbach of Jawbreaker, Riot Fest 2019

54) “Got a ‘hang loose’ from the weakside bartender.”

55) “It’s Jennifer’s birthday always.” - Eric Hutchinson

56) “I can’t think of a less relevant artist in 2019 than Kanye West. A Jesus freak in a MAGA hat. Yeah, congrats dude -- you’re every grandma who watches ‘Young Sheldon’ and mails checks to Joel Osteen now.” - Dan Ozzi

57) “The past and future are in the mind. I’m in the now.” - Tom Brady, via someone else

58) “Sometimes you walk around boring places and you feel like the most exciting thing in it.” - Drew Magary

59) “Sitting is the new smoking.” - Modern Family

60) “I'll straight up fight folks at a book club and discuss books at a fight club I really don't give a shit anymore.” - George Wallace

61) “Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.” - Rose Garvey via wine country

62) “It’s all ‘ok boomer’ until you need someone who can drive stick shift.” - @OrdinaryAlso

63) “He likes the result of the math.” - Dad, talking about my worst subject frustrating during the process but satisfying in the end

64) Stepmom: Do you want a Bears urn or Alabama urn? Dad: Ask me after they play Auburn.

65) “A cold body carries a warm heart.” - Stefanos Tsitsipas’ Instagram, after his Iceland sabbatical

66) [preparing a dish called the Sandwich of Justice with his friend’s recipe]

"The fun thing about it is when you give it to someone, you can say 'Justice is served.’ That's, uh, Ryan's line. I built my whole life on the backs of my friends." - You Suck At Cooking

67) “Usually three people can keep a secret only when two of them are dead.” - The Irishman

68) “An artist can't control who consumes their content any more than a chemist can control how their chemicals are used once they're created.” - Brian Crooks

2 notes · View notes