#last time with my ed was so incredibly traumatic. i thought i was gonna die

[caffeinatedopossum]

I went grocery shopping today and realized just how much stronger I've gotten since pre-recovery and now I suddenly don't wanna relapse

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs Class Action Park

“Gene was effectively kicked off of Wall street. So he did what anybody in this situation would do... buy up two ski resorts in Vernon, New Jersey.” That’s how I deal with all my career-related angst 

“Gene turned to his old buddy Bob Brennan, always there to find cash or investors any time Gene had a wild new idea” bdjdjjfkdbf find u a friend like Bob, I guess?

“Who we got? How about these teenage employees” oh NOOO

If your employer makes you call him Uncle maybe that’s a warning sign 

Gene giving his teen employees $100 every time he puts their lives in unparalleled danger has a similar energy as my dad giving me $5 when I was sad but 150 million times worse 

You know, if they had advertised the slide as a slide that could bite you like a shark, they might’ve been able to play off the teeth thing in their stride (in any case Slidey McBitey did not slow them down?)

“You couldn’t go down the canonball loop if you were too small, you couldn’t go down if you were too big” the Goldilocks of Dangerous Water Park Features

The way that everyone in this documentary says ‘water’ as ‘worder’ is very Jersey

I mean it absolutely doesn’t surprise me that there were no engineers involved in this but wow that’s a choice

The animations in this documentary in place of stock footage are truly on another level:

The accompanying dialogue to these images: People who Six Flags or Disney wanted nothing to do with; these guys would literally track Gene down at amusement industry conventions. You can tell these guys went and did bumps of coke and went just [unintelligentible] fuckin’ let’s just drill a slide right in the fuckin’ middle of the mountain and it’ll shoot ‘em 20 feet in the fuckin’ air--

“It was not fit for a safe ride by the average person in public” you don’t say, Bob Krauhlik, Head Lifeguard

I mean those like... bubbles for people to roll around in exist? Why couldn’t Gene have invested money in developing those in the seventies and just had people go down a very slight hill? Must EVERYTHING in this park be a deathtrap

The fact the Ball Man (presumably) survived the ride collapse, the freeway, and falling into a swamp,,, invincible

“We started sending employees off of [the airborne slide]” These guys really needed a union

“He’s gone on to lead a normal life” jhfkjhkjf the disclaimer

Honestly a built-in bidet/lota situation in a water slide doesn’t sound bad

Gene fulfilling my lifelong dream to get to lay on the baggage rollers at an airport

“The Aqua Skoot was also home to a thriving bee nest” I hope the bees were okay!!

“You’re probably concussed, and you have like a hundred and fifty people from New Jersey just being like ‘Pussy! You fuckin’ bitch!” this sounds in line with everything I know about New Jersey

“No lifeguard every blew a whistle and was like, ‘Hey stop chanting the word ‘pussy’ at this injured, bleeding person’“ I would pay money to see any lifeguard I know say that

Bob Krauhlik said: The first rule of Action Park is we don’t talk about our suppressed traumatic memories of Action Park

“Just literally imagine teenagers you know right now opening an amusement park” As someone who knows MANY teenagers this scenario sounds terrifying

“I was a good girl, so I wasn’t really involved in much of the shenanigans that took place” if u say so Faith

“I may have attended one [party]” HA I knew it 

This cattleprod story reminds me in a horrible way of a Paris Metro authority memory but long story short people will try to attack you physically if they think u cheated a $3 ticket; capitalism warps the brain

“But if we’re so bad, why don’t they just make a new town?” I’ve never heard a whiter sentence in my life

“He was a cool dude” [cut to] “I think he was a piece of shit” POETIC CINEMA

Gene annoying the state of New Jersey into relinquishing their land... incredible 

“Gene was free from the pesky state of New Jersey” is that what it says on the sign when you cross state lines into Pennsylvania 

“It might’ve attracted a more, say, working class clientele” ah the water park class divide

I don’t know what kind of mindset for just bodily-functioning all over the pool but I hope I never reach that point 

You really should need a sobriety test to operate anything motorized I think they could’ve made thousands on a Go-Kart breathalyzer

“It had a top speed of over 60 miles an hour, it was worth it” said Ed the Park Operations Manager, about driving a go-kart on the highway

“Action Park had full-on, Miami Vice-grade speed boats, where riders regularly tempted fate by treating them like bumper boats, a common action, that would send many a guest tumbling into a pond murky from leaked gas and oil, and known by employees to be infested with snakes” Somehow that sentence got worse and worse with time

The guy who literally crushed another person with his boat and then moved to the next ride: I pretend I did not do it

“He wound up getting getting ejected from the park” they said, about a person literally attempting to set other patrons on fire:

Bob the Lifeguard really speaks with way too much fondness in his voice of trying to throw carts on top of people sliding down a fibreglass and concrete slide

“On an an average day, you would have 50 to 100 people injured” the 80s were a lawless time 

“Gene Mulvihill had a vision of a place where there were no rules - something between Ayn Rand and Lord of the Flies” strike that this is the whitest sentence I’ve ever heard

HAHAHAHA I can’t believe the lawyer is now explaining Action Park with the argument that the 80s were a lawless time

“[D*nald Tr*mp] realized it was too wild, too nuts even for him” kjghkgjhkg this comment aged poorly 

The audacity of this man to blatantly exhaust everyone into submission

Kayaks did nothing to deserve being associated with electrocuting water park attendees 

Every time I think this documentary can’t get worse they introduce a new concept like The Death Zone at the Grave Pool 

“They expected to drown at the Action Park Wave Pool“ DID THEY, BOB? DID THEY REALLY?

“Nobody should ever be the second person to die in a wave pool, you know why? ‘Cause after the first person dies in a wave pool, close the fuckin’ wave pool!” Chris the Comedian has summed up this entire documentary in two sentences 

This documentary has intentionally saved the worst for last this whole interview with the family of the (first) deceased is deeply upsetting 

The Wave Pool death happened a week before the Kayak death??? THEY DIDN’T EVEN CLOSE FOR A WEEK???????

“Its time came and went” IS THERE EVER A TIME FOR A WATERPARK WHICH KILLS MULTIPLE PEOPLE 

Weird that the woman whom Gene got fired from her job and who deposed him became his friend

“Was he a villain or a victor” I think that’s a false dichotomy you can be victorious at villainy 

“The spirit of Action Park lives on today in the Fyre Festival” Correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t remember Fyre Fest killing anyone

“Fyre Festival’s bullshit, man. Gene gave you everything he fuckin’ promised you” grievous injury???

There’s also something weirdly poetic about the name of the park going back and forth from Mountain Creek to Action Park and vice versa every few years 

I’m gonna leave off with this not: Not a single visible minority was interviewed for this documentary as a park attendee or employee and while that’s probably more a product of selection bias and New Jersey it’s also all the argument you need for diversity in any field. Diversity of thought and culture does not a loop-de-loop-death trap make 

[toutorii]

Broken Pieces Chapter 3

Warnings: Mild language. Small mention of abuse. Unedited writing. 

Broken Pieces Masterlist

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Once we escorted Percy to where Chiron and Mr. D were, I had to go help someone in the infirmary.

"Good luck kiddo," I whispered to Percy. The poor thing looked terrified. I walked to the infirmary, only to be greeted by Luke Callestan.

"The hell did you do this time, Luke?" I asked.

"I fell off of a pegasus." He answered sheepishly.

I shook my head and treated his wounds.

"So, hows the new kid?" He asked while I checked out his purple wrist.

I shrugged, "He's in shock, denial, scared like hell. Pretty normal after finding out your mom died."

Luke nodded wordlessly. We sat in comfortable silence while I wrapped my hands gently around his wrist, a glowing light peeked from the cracks of my fingers. I let go of Luke, while he moved it around to test it out.

"Are you sure you aren't a child of Apollo?" Luke asked.

"Luke, two men can't biologically have a child. Do I need to give you some sex ed?"

"Gods no! It's just, you're a talented musician, and you have healing powers, who else has that?"

"Um, a lot of minor gods?"

"Oh," yeah, oh. See, at camp, if you are the child of a major god, you have a low chance of getting claimed. And it's an even lower chance if you're the child of a minor god. Cause there isn't even a cabin for Hades, much less than any of the other gods that don't have a throne on Olympus.

"Why do we even make our lives revolve around them?" I looked at him with a questioning glance, prompting him to go further.

"I mean, look at you, you've been at camp how many years? You've come back from two quests alive, and you've been nothing but faithful to the gods. And what do you get? Being crammed into the Hermes cabin, having to deal with new campers, and having no clue who your godly parent is."

I just sat there, taking in what he was saying. I never really thought I had a bad life. I mean, my stepmom was awful, she used to hit on my dad and me all the time. And I found camp when I was 5, so I could escape her for summer. And the only reason he married her was to hide my scent from monsters. So when I found camp, he divorced her and kicked her out of our small apartment a year later. So I don't really remember her much. Then when I was seven, he met Fineas Laurel, a really good guy that became a really good family friend. About a year later, they started dating. They got married when I was 12, and adopted my precious little sister, Sofia, a year later. So my family life is great, and the two quests I went on weren't traumatizing or anything. I mean, the four people I went with, hated me and only had me come along because I had healing abilities. And on the first one, they tried to sacrifice me to save their own asses. The second one I blocked out of my memory, cause it was so bad. But I have no clue why exactly it was so bad. And being crammed in the Hermes cabin, well I don't really know a life in camp that I wasn't crammed in that incredibly small cabin. I guess to an outsider my life isn't that great, but in reality, I'm one of the lucky ones.

"ellooo. Phoebe? Earth to Phoebe" Luke's voice snapped me out of my trance.

"My life isn't bad, Luke. And what complications I've had, I don't blame on the gods. Even they don't have control over everything. The only thing is, why are you trying to turn me against the gods?"

"I just think the whole thing is stupid." I couldn't disagree with him there.

"Well, I'm gonna check up on the kid. He's playing Pinochle with Mr.D."

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As I walked on the porch of the big house, I saw Mr. D fill his goblet with wine. Percy's jaw dropped. I almost laughed. But the poor thing must've been so confused.

"Mr.D, your restrictions," I warned casually, looking at the ongoing game. Mr.D looked up at me before saying,

"Dear me." He looked at the sky and yelled, "Old habits! Sorry!"

Thunder boomed.

Mr. D waved his hand again, and the wineglass changed into a fresh can of Diet Coke. He sighed unhappily, popped the top of the soda, and went back to his card game.

Chiron turned to Percy. "Mr. D offended his father a while back, took a fancy to a wood nymph who had been declared off-limits."

"A wood nymph," he repeated, still staring at the Diet Coke can like it was from outer space. It was almost comical.

"Yes," Mr. D confessed. "Father loves to punish me. The first time, Prohibition. Ghastly! Absolutely horrid ten years! The second time-well, she really was pretty, and I couldn't stay away-the second time, he sent me here. Half-Blood Hill. Summer camp for brats like you. 'Be a better influence,' he told me. 'Work with youths rather than tearing them down.' Ha.' Absolutely unfair."

Then he looked at me, saying, "Who are you, my mother, Penelope?"

"I have no comment to that sir."

"Wait- I thought your name was Phoebe?" Percy asked. I smiled nodding.

"He has a problem with names."

"No, I don't Patricia. I'm fantastic with names. You just have a weird one, Percy."

Percy's head shot up, filled with confusion.

"Sir, my name isn't Patricia or Percy."

"Well, what is it?"

"Phoebe."

"Bah, Perry is a better name. Isn't there a pony named Perry the Pony or something."

"Perry the Platypus, sir."

"See, Polly is a better name for you instead of Patty."

"W-wait" Percy butted in, stammering, "y-y-your father is..."

"Di immortales, Chiron," Mr. D said. "I thought you taught this boy the basics. My father is Zeus, of course."

I just shook my head. Watching Percy wrack his brain to figure out who the hell Mr.D would be.

"You're Dionysus," He finally said. "The god of wine."

Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say, these days, Grover? Do the children say, 'Well, duh!'?" "Y-yes, Mr. D."

"Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?"

"You're a god."

"Yes, child."

Ah yes, the epitome of conversation.

"A god. You."

Mr.D just started at the child, probably sending a silent threat of, "If you test me, you get turned into a dolphin."

"Would you like to test me, child?" he said quietly.

"No. No, sir."

The poor kid looked terrified.

Mr.D turned back to his card game. "I believe I win." "Not quite, Mr. D," Chiron said. He set down a straight, tallied the points, and said, "The game goes to me."

"Ooh, good hand Chiron," I said, congratulating the man.

Mr.D looked at me like he was gonna vaporize me, then looked at Chiron, before he gave up, sighing through his nose, already used to losing to the centaur.

"I'm tired," Mr. D said. "I believe I'll take a nap before the sing-along tonight. But first, Grover, we need to talk, again, about your less-than-perfect performance on this assignment."

Grover's face beaded with sweat. "Y-yes, sir."

Mr. D turned to Percy. "Cabin eleven, Percy Jackson. And mind your manners." He walked into the Big house, Grover following miserably. I felt bad for the satyr, he just had the worst luck sometimes.

"Will Grover be okay?" He asked Chiron and me.

I nodded, "Old Mr.D isn't really mad. He just hates his job."

Chiron continued saying, "He's been ... ah, grounded, I guess you would say, and he can't stand waiting another century before he's allowed to go back to Olympus."

"Mount Olympus," Percy said. "You're telling me there really is a palace there?"

"Well now, there's Mount Olympus in Greece. And then there's the home of the gods, the convergence point of their powers, which did indeed used to be on Mount Olympus. It's still called Mount Olympus, out of respect to the old ways, but the palace moves, Kiddo, just as the gods do." I explained to him.

"You mean the Greek gods are here? Like ... in America?"

"Well, certainly. The gods move with the heart of the West." Chiron answered.

"The what?"

Chiron furthered explained. "Come now, Percy. What you call 'Western civilization.' Do you think it's just an abstract concept? No, it's a living force. A collective consciousness that has burned bright for thousands of years. The gods are part of it. You might even say they are the source of it, or at least, they are tied so tightly to it that they couldn't possibly fade, not unless all of Western civilization were obliterated. The fire started in Greece. Then, as you well know-or as I hope you know, since you passed my course-the heart of the fire moved to Rome, and so did the gods. Oh, different names, perhaps-Jupiter for Zeus, Venus for Aphrodite, and so on-but the same forces, the same gods."

"And then they died."

I snorted. Chiron silenced me with a look before continuing, "Died? No. Did the West die? The gods simply moved, to Germany, to France, to Spain, for a while. Wherever the flame was brightest, the gods were there. They spent several centuries in England. All you need to do is look at the architecture. People do not forget the gods. Every place they've ruled, for the last three thousand years, you can see them in paintings, in statues, on the most important buildings. And yes, Percy, of course, they are now in your United States. Look at your symbol, the eagle of Zeus. Look at the statue of Prometheus in Rockefeller Center, the Greek facades of your government buildings in Washington. I defy you to find any American city where the Olympians are not prominently displayed in multiple places. Like it or not and believe me, plenty of people weren't very fond of Rome, either America is now the heart of the flame. It is the great power of the West. And so Olympus is here. And we are here."

"Who are you, Chiron? Phoebe? Who ... who am I?"

I gazed at him with sympathy, being thrown into the world of gods is a lot for anyone.

"Who are you?" Chiron mused. "Well, that's the question we all want answered, isn't it? But for now, we should get you a bunk in cabin eleven. There will be new friends to meet. And plenty of time for lessons tomorrow. Besides, there will be s' mores at the campfire tonight, and I simply adore chocolate."

"Bleh," I said under my breath.

"I still can't fathom how you don't like chocolate, Phoebe."

I shrugged. Chiron rose from his wheelchair. Turning into the half-man, half stallion I grew up with. Percy looked like he was about to combust. I laughed slightly at the bewildered expression on the child.

"What a relief," the centaur said. "I'd been cooped up in there so long, my fetlocks had fallen asleep. Now, come, Percy Jackson. Let's meet the other campers."

I helped him up saying, "So uh, it's a lot isn't it?"

"uhhuh"

"Don't worry kiddo, the first time I met Mr.D, I accidentally thought he filled his goblet for me, so I took a sip of it. I quickly found out it was weird tasting fruit juice. I still don't think he's forgiven me."

Percy looked at me with an open-mouthed expression that said, "Huh?", "How?", and "What the hell" at the same time.

I chuckled, "I was five, and I didn't know any better."

He just nodded, his mouth still hung open, so I said in a British accent, "Now, now Percy, close your mouth, we are not codfish."

His face filled with relief, probably because something finally made sense to him. "Mary Poppins?"

"Of course."

With that, we followed Chiron, who was waiting for us to follow.

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A/N: Wow she updated! :0 Anyways, I hope you like this chapter. Just so you know, I don't own any of the characters or plot, except for Phoebe, Her dad, Fineas, and Sofia. But I will try to update more frequently. And just to let you know, I will be doing the entirety of the Lightning Thief. And I'm going to try and do the rest of the series. Cause I have a plan, but at the same time not really. I mean, I know how I'm going to end The Last Olympian. But its the in-between I'm worried about. But I hope you enjoy it!