#lawyer!bucky x da!reader | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sunnysidevans · 3 years

Text

Home - B.Barnes

Summary: Looking for a break from your busy life you go home for the holidays. They say the holidays really brings people together.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, sexual themes (18+) reccomended. p in v, unprotected sex. mostly fluff with some angst.

authors note: this is the first bucky fic i feel confident enough to post so feed back will be greatly appreciated. This is basically a hallmark movie just in fic form. Also It’s a long one so I apologize for that. Enjoy!

Bold Italics are flashbacks. December finally rolled in, snow following shortly after. The holidays coming up fast as you look to your left at the calendar that sat next to you, December 17th circled in red marker. You sighed and pushed from your desk and made your way to the mailroom to drop off your mail for the day. The holidays were exciting, you loved Christmas. You just hated going home for them. It was always the same from your parents, when you would bring home a sweet boy from the city and a ring on your finger. You knew they meant well but also knew you threw yourself head first into your work, being a lawyer in the big city. You were so excited to go to Boston. Representing some big names in big lawsuits and helping the DA.

You were fond of your job, happy that you were doing something you loved. Dropping your mail into the outgoing box you looked in your mailbox quickly and smiled at the red envelope sitting there. You pulled it out and smiled and made your way back to your desk. You were off to New York in the matter of days and you were excited to see you were remembered in the christmas festivities. “You got my card?” you jump at the voice, looking up to meet Andy’s eyes. You smile and hold the envelope up with a nod, “Thank you Mr.Barber this is sweet of you” you smile as he nods. “I wanted you to feel included that's all” you smile at that. “Well I do, I appreciate it greatly” he nods at that and makes his way to his office door, stopping to turn to you.

“You can turn out early tonight, I don’t mind letting you get a start on your journey” you smiled at that, “are you sure? I know you have the reed’s case to start on” you tilt your head to him in question as he shakes his head and smiles. “Head home (y/l/n) we will all be here when you come back” you smile at him and nod.

Opening the card you smile at the message. “Merry Christmas xx A.B” you sit the card upright on your desk and smile. Opening the drawer you kept your things in you pulled everything out and looked over your desk once more. You grabbed the case files you had been sorting for Andy and made your way to his office. Knocking you push the door open at his voice and smile, looking at him. “Just wanna give you these before I go” you hand him the files as he nods in appreciation.

“Merry Christmas Andy” he smiles at that and looks up from the file he was in and raises a brow. “Now shoo go home” you smile and laugh making your way to the door as he yells after you “merry christmas to you as well” you smile and shut the door after you. Making your way to the elevator you wave to the doorman at the building, wishing him a merry christmas as you make your way to your car. Making your way home you thought of home, excited to see your family, excited to see the town you grew up in, see highschool friends. There was one you hoped to avoid, not ready to face that head on, not ready to face the one thing that drove you to Boston.

Making it up the stairs of your apartment you push your way in and shut the door after tossing your keys on the nightstand by the door and making your way to your bedroom. Jumping at the sound of your phone you pull it from your back pocket, smiling and answering the phone. “Hi there” you smile at the chuckle that follows. “Are you coming home?” you smile at Wanda’s voice on the other end of the line, a distant yell behind her “Is she?!” you laugh at Natasha’s voice.

“Yes I am, I’m getting my things now to start driving in” you say, putting the phone between your ear and shoulder, pulling your suitcase over to the bed and unzipping it. “Oh thank god” you laugh at that, “why did you think I was gonna not?” you ask as she chuckles. “I just want to see you, we miss you here” you smile at that. “I miss you guys too wans” looking through to make sure you had everything you would need for an upstate new york winter you zip it back closed. “Is Rogers home?” you ask as you set it down on the floor with a huff. “He comes in tomorrow Nat says” you smile at that. Steve was practically your big brother back home, you were so proud of him for joining the Army. “Good I miss his ass” you mumble, moving around your apartment as you look for your things. Grabbing the small bag you pull things into the bag, your toiletries that you would need. “Are you staying with your mom or one of us?” she asks as you sigh. “I probably should stay with mom and dad or they will be pissed” you mumble, grabbing more things to shove into your bag. “I’ll think on the drive and I guess if I show up at your place you’ll know” she laughs at that.

“Okay okay” she replies “hurry and come home” you smile and nod. “Okay, love you and tell nat I say the same” you smile at the faint “love you too!” from the other end.

Shoving your suitcase into the backseat you huff and slam the door. Climbing in you sigh and turn the car on and make your way out of the car garage and onto your four hour trip back home. Turning the radio on as you make it through the streets of boston you can't help but feel giddy at seeing everyone. You missed Natasha and Wanda, both of them being your person, they were there for you through everything and have stayed your friends for years. You liked to take the credit of Steve and Natasha finding each other as they married soon after highschool before he left for his first deployment.

You received letters but they slowly stopped and you understood, excited to see him as well. Wanda was the matchmaker of the group, the one who set everyone up, getting Sam and his now wife, Lelia together. You smiled at the photos you received in the group texts, Sam and Lelia having little ones running around their homes, always sending photos. You were so excited for them, to meet the little ones who took up everyone's hearts. As you drove down the highway, you couldn’t help but let your mind wonder, if maybe you and Bucky didn’t break up, maybe you would be married and have little ones of the two of you. You loved him. As you drove the night of your breakup flowing through your mind as it always did.

“Why wont you just come with me?” you plead, looking at Bucky’s leather clad back as he paced. “This is my home!” he yells back as you look at him, tears were shed early into the argument. “You don’t think I know that?!” you yell back, standing straighter as more tears flooded your waterline. “I’m not picking up my life for you” you look at him, shaking your head. “But you want me to do that?” you ask to move closer to him. “You want me to follow you when you deploy? Wherever base you go you want me to go?” you ask as he turns around. “It’s far from being the same (y/n)” he snarls as you shake your head. “It's not different! I want to follow my dream and have the love of my life come with me” you whisper. “I’m not going with you and that's final” he moves to the door, you watch as he goes to leave. “Where are you going?!” you watch as he slides his boots on, looking over his shoulder. “Out” you take a deep breath. “Don’t expect me to be here when you come back Barnes” you watch as he stands straighter, turning to look at you. “I don’t care where you go, I don’t care if you leave me here, leave if that's what you so badly want to do '' and with that the door shuts in your face.

Replaying the night in your mind you knew you were both asking too much of the other. As you grew you knew it was the same and maybe your love could’ve survived following him, you had a career you wanted to follow and as you look back on it, it wasn’t fair for either of you to give up your dreams. You knew he and Steve did serve together, you never asked as your heart wasn’t quite ready. You fell in love with Bucky at 16. You were always together and you were crazy about each other. You were attached at the hip until you left town for boston. You did know the small details of his life, Wanda filling you in when she unintentionally brings him into a conversation.

Apologizing as she realizes her mistakes as you brush it off to be nothing. You did miss having him in your life. After that night you never spoke again, you always avoided him at the holidays as he normally was deployed or somewhere out of town.

Yawning, you make it to your parents house by 1am. You pulled yourself out of the car as you stood in front of your childhood home, a smile on your face at the memories you made there. Standing there you couldn’t help but feel awful at coming in so late, looking in the passenger seat in your bag you call Wanda, knowing she was awake. “Hey!” she chirps as you smile, “can I stay with you tonight?” you ask as she cheers, “of course you can come on over!” you laugh, bidding her goodbye and hanging up. Driving just the ten minute drive to Wanda’s you pull into her driveway, meeting the cheerful redhead on her front porch. You laugh and climb out, smiling at her smile. You missed her. Pulling the bags from the backseat you make your way up her driveway. “Vis!” you smile at her voice as she runs down the steps “come help her!” you laugh and catch her as she hugs you tight. Hugging her tight you laugh, nuzzling into her sweater. “Hi” she whispers as you laugh, whispering back.

“Hi wans” you smile pulling back and smiling at her. “I’m so happy you are here” she whispers as you smile, “So am I!” you grin. Looking over her shoulder you notice her husband Vision. “Hi vision” you wave, as he nods “hi” he replies as he grabs your bags. “Thank you for that” you say over your shoulder as you make your way inside after her.

“The boys are asleep but you will have to see them” she says as you smile, looking at the photos adorning her walls, smiling at the family she built. “I’d love to,” you look at her and smile. You were happy for her and the life she was building. It was exciting for her to experience motherhood as she was more than capable of being a mom. She was the mom friend out of your group for years. Following her up the stairs you smile, looking around the home. “Your home is beautiful Wans” you smile at her as she smiles. “Thank you, Vision and I built it ourselves” you smile widely at that. “I’m so happy for you” you smile as she stops at a room, “you can stay in here as long as you want!” she smiles pushing the door open as you follow. “It’s beautiful” you smile looking over the cream colored walls, beige sheets to match.

“I’m sorry it's a bit bland” you laugh and shake your head at her with a smile. “I’m bland” she scoffs “far from” she laughs. She pulls you into another hug as you hug her back, smiling. “I’m happy to see you, you get some sleep we can catch up in the morning” You nod into her shoulder as you return the hug. “Goodnight!” she cheers and shuts the door after you. Opening your suitcase you pull out a pair of pajamas and make your way to the ensuite bathroom. Changing into your pajamas you make your way to the bed and climb in, sighing in content at the softness of the sheets. You smile and soon sleep is pulling you in.

You woke to the sound of two sets of feet running down the hallway, cheers echoing off the walls and Wanda’s voice following them, “boys shhh, let aunt (y/n) sleep” you smile at that, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You were Billy’s godmother as Natasha was Tommy’s. You yawn and sit up, climbing your way out of the bed, stopping at the window. It snowed. You loved the snow and the way it painted the ground. Freshening up in the bathroom you look at yourself in the mirror, last night was the first semi peaceful night sleep you had in a while. Making your way out the door and down the steps you smile at the boys' voices. “Is aunt (y/n) staying with us?” you hear Tommy ask as Wanda shrugs at the sink. “I don’t know boys, you know she’s just visiting” you watch as she has a bit of a defeated smile on her face.

You felt awful for being the cause of her defeat. You knew everyone wanted you to stay here in New york. “Do you think she’s awake?” Billy asks his brother as Tommy shrugs. “Why don’t you turn around and find out?” you ask, hand on your hip as the boy’s turn around with a gasp. “Aunt (y/n)” you smile and crouch down to catch the boys in your arms. “Hi boys” you smile and kiss the tops of their heads. “We missed you!” they cheer as you smile and ruffle their hair. “No way! I missed you guys too” you smile at them and motion for them to sit. “C’mon let's sit while your mom makes us breakfast”

You smile behind your mug as you listen to the boys talk about anything and everything. This was what you wanted most, experience this. You wanted a family but it was never in the cards for you, these boys were the closest thing you had to that. You watch as they run off from the table, smiling at Wanda. “They are excited for you to be here” you smile widely at that. “I’m happy to be here” you whisper. “You know” she sits down beside you with a soft smile, you watch her face closely. “We’re having a welcome home party for Steve..” she trails off as you raise a brow “bucky’s gonna be there” she whispers as you nod. Smiling sadly at her you nod again, “we’re grown adults” you say as she looks over your face, looking you up and down. “If you want to come though” she whispers as you nod eagerly. “I want to see everyone” you smile as she nods again, “He’s not the same you know” she adds as you furrow your brows “oh?” you ask. She nods and you shrug “none of us are, we're all grown up” you smile. “He’s really changed” she nods at you again and stands. “I’m gonna head over and see my mom and dad okay?” you stand as well, moving to set your mug in her sink as she nods “oh of course!” she says with a smile.

You make your way upstairs to the bedroom. How much could Bucky have changed? You worried maybe he hated you now. You could never hate him as he was your first everything, first kiss, first boyfriend, first love. You experienced every first with him, he was special.

Pulling up to your parents home you don't recognize the car sitting out front. Climbing out, you smile at your home and make your way up the driveway. As you make the first step the door opens and your dad and another man make their way out. You lose your breath as you meet the stormy blue eyes.

Bucky.

You couldn’t believe this was the Bucky you haven’t seen in years. Standing there clad in plaid and leather. “(Y/n!)” your dad cheers as you smile up at him, moving your eyes to your father.

“Hi sweetheart!” he hugs you tightly as you make it back up the steps with a smile. You smile at him “Hi dad”. He grins as you can’t help but your eyes fall back to Bucky. He looked gorgeous. You knew he changed,he was sharper, rugged compared to the way he was in highschool. “I’ll go get your mother” your dad pats your shoulder and he’s gone, leaving you and Bucky on the front porch, The same front porch he kissed you for the first time and the first time he told you he loved you. “You’re home” you whisper as he nods, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. “You look good” you add as he looks back up at you with a side smirk. “So do you, doll” you smile at that, the blush creeping on your cheeks, you wish you could blame it on the cold but you knew it was because of him. “It’s really nice to see you” you whisper as he nods, sending you a smile.

A smile you missed to see, you noticed it didn’t make its way to his eyes. “I’m happy to see you too” he smiles and makes his way down the stairs, “Are you coming to the party for Steve?” he asks at the last step. You nod at him and smile, you felt like you were in highschool again, falling and falling for the blue eyes brunette at the end of the steps. “I’ll see you then” he sends you a wave and makes his way to the truck at the curb.

“Oh honey!” your mothers voice pulls you from your thoughts as you turn to her, watching as he pulls away. You hug her tight as she pulls you into her arms, a smile on her face. “Hi Mom!” you smile, following her into the warmth of your childhood home. Making your way to the couch you couldn’t help but the itch in your throat. “Why was Bucky here?” you ask as you sit down, your father stepping in. “He was looking at some things I can't quite fix myself anymore” You nod at that. “I know that look” your mom speaks up as you look at her with a smile. “Which is?” you ask as she smirks. “You were happy to see him” you laugh at her with a slight nod.

“I was” you say with a smile “oh it was more than a friendly nice to see you” she says as you shake her off. You were happy to see him, your heart skipping a beat at the thought of him. You missed seeing him. He aged so well, you can’t help but admit that he was absolutely gorgeous. Pulling from your thoughts you look down to the deep of your phone, a number you hadn't seen in a while rolling through. “Nice to see you doll, maybe we could meet up for coffee?” you smiled and typed a quick reply back. “As long as we go to our favorite place” you watch the three bubbles pop up and disappear, “of course”.

It had been a few days since you saw Bucky. Making your plans for the day before Steve’s party to see each other. Making your way down the sidewalk you smile, looking at the snowflakes falling onto the scarf you wore. You couldn’t help the excitement you felt to see him again. Your favorite place where you had your first date which held so many memories for you and him. You stop at the small cafe and make your way inside. “Oh my gosh!” you perk up at the voice and smile as May stands behind the counter. “May?!” you gasp as you meet the woman half way and hug her tightly. “You’re home?!” she asks as you smile with a nod. You knew May before you left for Boston, babysitting her nephew peter. “I’m so happy to see you” she whispers, squeezing your shoulders. You smile at that and squeeze her back, “I’m happy to be home!” you smile following her to the counter.

“How is peter?” you ask as she begins making your usual drink, no starbucks compared to May. “He’s great! He is on his way to the city for school” you smile at that, looking at her. “I’m so proud of him! If he needs anything tell him I have no problem helping out” you say with a smile as she slides the cup over to you as the bell over the door rings. “I will!” she says, turning to you and a smirk making its way on her face as you look over your shoulder to Bucky, shaking the snow out of his now short hair and shaking it off his coat. You smile at him as he notices your eyes. “Barnes huh?” she whispers as you laugh, pulling out your wallet. “It’s always been Barnes may” you whisper back, as she shakes her head with a smirk.

“It’s on the house” she whispers as he makes his way to the two of you “oh and by the way” you turn to her at that with a smile“we’ve all always known”.

You smile as you turn to meet the broad chest of Bucky. Looking up to meet his eyes with a smile. “Hi May” he says, sending her the same charming smile. “Hi James” she replies, sending him a smile. You smile at that, knowing there were few who got away with calling him james. He turns to you, meeting your eyes as you smile up at him. “You wanna get a seat? I’ll get us some of May’s cookies” you smile and nod, sending May a smile over your shoulder. Walking away from the counter you can’t help but hear the hushed whispers between the two of them, “you make a wish for her to come home?” she asks as his deep chuckle rumbles through his chest. “Maybe a bit,” he winks.

You climb into a booth towards the back, looking out at the snow falling. Turning to the plate of cookies set on the table, you smile. “My favorite” you whisper as he sits down across from you, his own hot beverage in his hands. You notice the gloves adorning his hands. You look up at him with a smile. “Hi” you watch his face break out into a smile. “Hi” he nods back as you take a bite of the tree shaped sugar cookie in front of you. “I’m glad you asked” you speak up as he raises his brow at you with a smile, “oh?” he asks as you nod. “It’s nice to see you” you watch as he nods, slowly circling his cup around the table. “It’s nice to see you home gorgeous” he replies. You sit up in your seat as you smile at him, “do you remember when we’d sit here for hours eating cookies” you say, looking as he smiles with a nod. “You never did your homework like you were supposed to” you giggle at that. “You were far too distracting” you say with a smirk. He raises a brow at that. “Oh was I?” he asks as you nod eagerly. “You took my breath away” you say as he smiles, “you always took mine” he says. You blush at that and sip on the hot beverage in your hands.

You and Bucky sat for hours at the booth, reminiscing on your relationship. “Remember at Steve’s and you kissed me under the mistletoe?” you ask as he nods “Sam hated us” you laugh and nod. “He did,” you smile, biting your lip as you think back, one of your last happy memories with Bucky before you left. “I regret saying those things to you” you turn to his voice, he’s watching you as you look over his face, not a single sign of a lie on his features.

“I do too” you say as you watch his shoulders sag slightly, a weight lifted. “You know” you say “I thought we’d be married by now” he laughs at that and nods, “me too”. As the snow fell you noticed it falling harder, looking at Bucky across the table. “It’s getting harder,” you whisper as he looks over at you. “I can take you home” he says as you shake your head looking over at him. “I don’t really want to stop catching up,” you say as he nods, smiling. “Let's have dinner then, I promise I can cook now” you laugh at that and nod, moving to stand.

He moves to stand beside you, you see the hesitation in his eyes as he wants to reach out for your hand, you smile and slide your hand into the one closest to you. He relaxes then and leads you out to his truck on the curb.

You sit at the island in Bucky’s kitchen, smiling. His home was beautiful and you can’t help but coo at the white furball who followed him everywhere. Turning to notice him there in the long sleeve flannel, standing at the stove. You smile and stand, setting your glass of wine down and moving to his side, running your hands up his arms you feel him tense.

“Bucky?” you ask as he sets the spoon down on the counter. “Sorry” he turns to you, looking at you sadly. “What's going on in that brain of yours?” you ask, hip against the counter as he shakes his head. “I know you're lying” you say as he sighs. “Did wanda tell you anything?” he asks, you stand straighter as you shake your head, “No wanda hasn’t told me anything” you say as he sighs. “I was honorably discharged” he looks down at your face as you look over his. “You were?” you whisper, hands reaching for him as he pulls them from your grasp. He doesn’t miss the fall of your face. “When I was in, ny last deployment” he starts as you nod, standing beside him. “I got everyone one of a bad crash” he looks away from you. “I got hurt” you frown and move closer. “Hey..” you whisper and cup his cheek, turning him to look at you “take your time” you whisper. He pulls the flannel off and the lights bounce off the prosthetic adorning his left side. You gasp softly. “Oh Buck” you look up at him as he inspects the arm at his side. “I was honorably discharged due to the fact I saved everyone” you nod as he continues “but i lost a piece of me” you look up at him. “I lost a piece of you” you stop as you remember the tattoo that adorned his left arm, your initials on the inside of his wrist, his on the inside of yours. You pull him into your arms as he nuzzles into your neck. “Oh Bucky I’m so sorry” you whisper into his hair as he shakes his head. “It’s okay, you didn’t know” he whispers as you shake your head.

“I should’ve known” you cup his cheeks. “You are still my bucky '' you say as the small smirk makes it’s way to his face. “Still your Bucky?” he asks as you shake your head and laugh at him, hitting his chest.

You sat across from him as he told you the good stories of his time in the service. You smile as you listen to him tell stories of steve. “He was so dumb” he sets his beer down, licking his lips. “He jumped on grenades” you gasp at that “are you serious?!” you ask as he nods behind a laugh. “I knew Nat would kill me if I didn’t pull him off,” you smile. “I’m glad he had you” you smile behind your glass as you set it down. Finishing your meal you stood beside him at the sink, washing the dishes beside him, looking over at him from your peripheral often. He was still your Bucky. The same bucky who held your heart in the grip that it did. You continue drying as your mind flashes back to the moments with bucky, standing there on your front porch.

You laugh as you make your way up the stairs, running from the man behind you. “Buck” you laugh as he catches your waist, spinning you around and making your way up the steps. He sets you down in front of the door. You look up to him as his arms wrap around your waist. Standing there in your sundress as the sun was now setting. “Thank you” you say looking up to him as he smiles. “For what?” you laugh “for taking me to see the fireworks” you smile as he shrugs. “What can I say, I’m pretty romantic” you laugh at that and lean into his chest. He holds you to his chest as you both stand there. You pull your head from his chest and look up at him, his blue eyes meeting yours. “Can I kiss you?” he asks, taking your breath away as you smile. “Sure” and like that his lips land to yours. You have been dating for almost a year, yet he always asked. You moved your lips against his, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him closer by the back of his neck. Pulling away he rests his forehead to yours, both your eyes closed as you smile, taking in the moment. “I love you” you open your eyes at that, almost too quiet. “What?” you ask as he opens his own eyes, looking over your face. “You don’t have to say it back” he rushes as you smile. “I love you too Bucky” you whisper back. He smirks at that and leans back down to connect your lips.

“Hey” you jump from your daydream to Bucky’s voice. You turn to his voice and smile. “Yeah?” you ask as he smirks. “Daydreaming?” he asks as you laugh. “It’s getting a bit bad out, I don’t know if you’d want me to take you home?” he watched as you looked out the window, noticing the snow falling harder. “Can I stay?” you whisper as he looks over at you quickly. “You wanna stay?” he asks as you nod slowly. “Of course you can,” he smiles, kissing your hairline gently. “I’ll get you some clothes okay?” he asks as you nod, watching as he makes his way up the stairs. You knew you probably should take the invitation to go back to your home, your heart told you differently. Smiling you look down to the kitten at your feet, almost as white as the snow outside you smile at her. “Hi girl” you whisper, crouching down and scratching behind her ears. Not hearing Bucky make his way down the steps you continue cooing over the cat in your grasp. He stands there at the doorway of the kitchen, smiling as if he can't believe you were there, in his home, with his cat.

You had dinner with him. You turn and smile as he holds the clothes to you. “Here you go gorgeous” you smile and stand, taking them from his grasp. “I’m gonna go change” you say with a smile. “First door on the right” he replies, watching as you make your way up the stairs. You look over the walls, smiling at the photos of him and his brothers in arms. Stopping at a photo of you and him, your prom photos. You smile at the red accents he wore in his tux to match the red dress you wore. Your smiles were so wide.

Changing and making your way back down to the living room you smile at him sitting on the couch, sweatpants adorning his legs along with a hoodie. No gloves in sight as his prosthetic rested against the back of the couch. You smile as you make your way to him, sitting beside him as you notice the glass of wine sitting there, waiting for you. Grabbing the glass you sit back beside him,sipping the glass. You smile at him as he looks over at you, stopping as his eyes rake up and down your body. You can’t help but feel shy around him, noticing his eyes lingering. You were far from the girl he used to be with, used to see. You watch as his eyes move back to your face with a smile. “Are you eye fucking me right now?” you ask as he chokes on the beer on his lips. “What?” he asks as you laugh. “You practically ripped these clothes off me with your eyes,” you say with a laugh. He shrugs and looks at you, “Would that be a bad thing?” he asks as you smirk behind your own glass. “Maybe not,” you shrug.

He smirks then and sets the bottle down, moving your glass from your hands. You look up at him with bated breath as he moves closer, hand on your cheek. “Can I kiss you?” he whispers, his breath fanning over your face as you whisper “of course you can”. Soon your lips molded to his like they never left each other. His five o clock shadow tickles your cheeks as you move closer to him. Swinging your leg over his waist you settle yourself in his lap, his hands landing to your waist. You kiss along his jaw as he grips your hips, slowly grinding your hips along his. “Doll,” he whispers as you smile, pulling away from his jaw and looking over his face, cupping his cheeks between your hands. “Bucky” you whisper back as he picks you up from behind your thighs.

You squeal as you bounce along the dark sheets, looking up to the man at the end of the bed. You grin as he grabs your ankles, pulling you down the bed with a tug. Standing between your thighs he leans over you, hovering over you as his hands land on either side of your head. You nudge your nose against his, nipping at the tip of his with a smirk. “You are a minx” he groans as he connects your lips again, kissing you with so much love. Your lips molding together like two pieces of a puzzle. You moan against his lips as his hands pull at the shirt you wore, pulling away to hold your hands up. “Take it off Bucky” you whisper as he pulls the henley over your head and tosses it aside, pulling his own off his back with one hand.

You look him up and down as he stands at his full height, sitting up to meet the band of his sweatpants. You run your hand up his chest. You notice the scars screaming against his shoulder, you trace them lightly as he grabs your hand to kiss the inside of your wrist. The same wrist where the small “JB” sits. You pull him back down kissing him again, his tongue fighting your own as he tugs the sweatpants you wore down, your panties following. You moan as his fingers brush your folds, pulling away as he reaches your clit. “Bucky” you moan as he smirks over you, his nose brushing your own “found it” he smirks. Your eyes roll back as his finger is soon sliding into you. You moan as he thrusts his finger, adding a second. “Gotta get you ready for me” you groan as his fingers brush your g-spot. “Just fuck me already Bucky” you moan, tugging his wrist with one hand, tugging the string on his sweatpants.

“As you wish” he smirks, his boxers soon joining the rest of the clothes as he makes his way up the bed. Kissing up your chest he kisses both nipples before hovering over you. “Hi” he whispers as you grin, looking up at him, cupping his cheeks. “Hi” you giggle as you pull him back to connect your lips again. His tip slowly brushes through your folds, circling your clit gently and soon lining up at your hole. You gasp, looking up at him as he looks over your face, biting your lip as he slides into you and bottoms out. You moan at that and grip his arms as he groans above you. “Buck” you whisper against his ear, gasping as he starts thrusting slowly. You moan against his ear as he thrusts into you at a slow pace. Your head falls back to the pillow as you whimper. Thighs gripping his waist as he thrusts into you at a faster pace.

“God doll” he groans, looking down to watch your face as he hits your g-spot. You moan loudly, arching your back and falling back into the pillow. “That's it doll” he grins as he thrusts harder, looking over your face “god you are squeezing me so well” he huffs above you as you moan louder. “Fuck Bucky” you whine and grip his sides, half moons digging into his skin as you grip him tighter. “Fuck you are so tight, c’mon doll give it to me” you moan at that, moaning louder as his fingers meet your clit, you gasp and hold onto him tighter. “I’m coming” you gasp, moaning loudly against his chest as your thighs shake, cumming. “I’m right there doll” he groans, thrusting harder into you as you moan loudly as he releases.

After cleaning you up, you fell asleep against the sheets. Spent from your night of passion with bucky, He lays awake beside you as he looks over your features, some he never noticed and some he never forgot. The small freckle at your shoulder as well as the small twitch in your nose while you slept. He felt like he was dreaming. Every Night since he’s been home he wished nothing more for a moment like this, you, the woman he wanted to marry, sleeping in his bed beside him. It killed him to leave you that night, you knew it hurt him and he knew it hurt you.

You were both so young and not quite ready to give up each other. He leans over and places a soft kiss on your shoulder. “I love you” he whispers so quietly you don’t catch it at first, still slightly awake as he settles into the sheets.

You make your way into the building and smile. The welcome home banner hanging over the door as well as everyone circling the tables as rainbow lights strung along every place. You couldn’t help the smile as you looked over the room, already decorated for Steve’s return. “(Y/n)!” you smile at the voice and turn to the redhead, stopping at the belly protruding from her. “Oh my god” you set the tray of cookies down and make your way to Natasha who stood with arms wide. You hug her tightly as you can and smile, pulling away at arms lengths. “Oh my god I am so happy for you!” you smile widely as your hand lands on her belly. “Girl or boy?” you ask as she smiles “a little girl” . You smile at the idea of her and Steve having one of them running around. “Why didn’t you tell me!” you look at her as she smiles “i wanted to surprise you” you smile and hug her again.

“Okay everyone!” you look at Sam standing at the door. “Rogers is on his way in” you smile and help Natasha move to her spot in the middle. Knowing damn well she would be the one he wants to see first. “Buck, why are we here?” you hear steve's voice as you smile in your spot, looking at the door. “I just wanted to bring you for the gift exchange,” he says, opening the door. “Welcome Home!” Everyone yells as Steve stands stunned in the doorway. You watch as his eyes scanned the room, stopping on his wife in the middle. You smile as he stops to kiss her, clapping along with everyone else.

As he looks around the room you look over to the man at your side. “Hi” he kisses your temple as he wraps an arm around your waist. “Hi stud” you lean into his side as Steve makes his rounds. He stops when he spots you at Bucky’s side. You smirk as you watch his eyes dance between the two of you. “Are you really here or does Bucky clearly have a type?” you laugh at him and make your way to him, hugging him tight. “Hi big guy” you laugh and hug him tight as he returns the squeeze. “I’m so happy to see you” he whispers as you whisper back to him “as am I, thanks for coming home in one piece”.

He laughs at that and places a kiss on your cheek as you smile up at him. Sending him with one last squeeze to socialize.

You sat in your seat as you watched the three men, Steve Sam and Bucky, all around the food, cutting pieces and putting them on plates. You sat as you let everyone else get plates, looking up at the scratching of the chair across from you. “You have sex glow” wanda whispers as you gasp. “Wanda!” you laugh and sit up, crossing your legs over the other “you do” she shrugs and eats a piece of the ham on her plate. You go to speak when a plate is placed in front of you, smiling up at the man attached.

Bucky places a kiss on your head as you smile, sitting beside you as you begin eating and laughing with your friends. Finishing your plate you sit back and watch as everyone socializes, bucky beside you. Soon the soft music flowing through the speakers. You smile as “Home for the holidays” plays through the speakers. You look over at Bucky as he smirks, standing and holding his hand to you.

“Come dance” he whispers. You take the extended hand and follow him. Wrapping your arms around his neck as he lands on your waist you sway with him. Humming with the beat you lay your head on his chest, just under his chin. Your mind can’t help but wander. “Hey” you look up to see the blue eyes looking down at you, you smile. “I don’t want you to go ya know?” he asks as you nod, hands resting on his shoulders as you whisper. “I don’t either” you sway along with him, he nods.

“Are you going back soon?” he asks as you smile, shrugging. You knew home was no longer the snow covered roads and sidewalks, or the four walls that built up your apartment.

It was now the contrast between warm and cold. Blue eyes to match.

“I think I’m home” you whisper back to him.

BONUS:

You smiled as you stood beside the uhal. Looking up at the beautiful house sitting between the trees of Upstate New York. You look to your left as Bucky and Steve unload your things into your home. Your home. It felt so strange to know you were home, with bucky. He stands on the porch with a hand on his hip. “C’mon Mrs.Barnes” you shake your head at that and make your way to him. “I’m not Mrs. Barnes” you laugh as he shrugs, “not yet”. You smile and lean into his side as you look over your home, smiling at the little ones running through the empty rooms with laughs echoing over the walls. “I’m glad your home” He kisses your temple as he whispers against your temple. “me too” you whisper back, kissing his lips once again.

if you enjoyed this fic you can find all my other fics here.

#Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes feels #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes au #bucky barns x y/n #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #Bucky Barnes x female reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes angst

207 notes · View notes

annathesillyfriend · 3 years

Text

Anna's August Fic Recs

Welcome to my August fic recommendations masterpost!! This has been quite a busy month for me but I'm holding onto last weeks of freedom. I am trying to read as much before uni starts and I had a pleasure of reading some brilliant fics this month. I am so excited to share them with you all! I hope your summer is going amazing and to those, who have just started classes - good luck!

To all the writers - I love you and I appreciate you so much!

To all the readers - please, share the fics you read and love. The reblog really makes the change! It’s the least we can do to show our gratitude.

HOLLAND & Co.

✨ Tom Holland

revenges is sweet by @t-lostinworlds

series, social media au, college!au, football player!tom, fake dating, idiots to lovers, all of our fave tropes, i am invested in this series more than i am in my own life, it's just that good

sunkissed by @duskholland

one-shot, 18+, surfer!tom x lifeguard!tom, exes to lovers, h's great mind at its finest 👏

souvenirs of the heart by @veryholland

one-shot, brought me to tears no joke, such a beutiful story, mila did such an amazing job!!

heartbreak girl by @lauras-collection

one-shot, 18+, lead singer!tom, based on 5SOS song, this is so goooood 😫😫 this story lives in my heart rent free right nextdoor to laura!!

act 1: scene 5 and 6 by @youandtom

one-shot, best friends to lovers, helping tom with learning lines, i loved this very much!

happier than ever by @vendettaparker

one-shot, tom being the great lad he is comes to save an awful date and we stan

the trial of the eldest holland by @reawritesthings

one-shot, ex!tom, welcome to the angst town! this is so deeply heartbreaking but so beautifully written!

lucky to be in love by @hollandsvogue

one-shot, rose is going staright for my silly little heart :')

slide in by @uglypastels

one-shot, frat!tom, i fall in love with this story time and time again

white winged dove by @muhollands

one-shot, 18+, conuntry!tom, insert country boy i love you vine here (also, i'd like to take this moment to kindly invite you all to go through d's whole masterlist cause it's brilliant. this mj blurb has sent me straight to hell but it's so worth it)

abide by @hazofmyheart

one-shot, 18+, mob!au, tom x reader x harrison, this made me feel some type of way 👁👄👁

getting ahead of ourselves by @/hazofmyheart

one-shot, 18+, college! lacrosse player!tom holland x tutor!reader, this is soft, this is cute, this is hot, this is everything! 12/10 would recommend

✨ Harrison Osterfield

little lune by @dovenymph

one-shot, celebrating your birthday with haz, made me want a refund for my birthday cause it's so lovely 🥺🥺

it will come back by @greenorangevioletgrass

one-shot, part of the rich kid!au series, 18+, richkid!haz x richkid!reader x actor!tom, there are no words in any language that would let me express how much i love ava and this au

✨ Harry Holland

wild side by @softholand

one-shot, 18+, best friends to lovers, that trope was made to be written about mister harry holland, i swear

lost in your light by @spider-barnes

one-shot, 18+, best friends to lovers, bloody lovely 💛

falling in love at a coffee shop by @/spider-barnes

one-shot, college!au, oh to fall in love with harry holland at a coffee shop 😫

hope is frightening thing by @peterplanet

one-shot, writer!reader x first da!harry, her book gets a film adaptation and harry is being is wonderful self 🥰

my forever by @unsaidholland

blurb, talking about your future with him, it's just 🥰🥰

circles by @farfromharry

one-shot, rich kid!au, enemies to lovers, so wonderful!

MARVEL

🎂 Suz's birthday fics

this total babe @samwilsons-pillowpecs gave us four beautiful gift on her birthday! we adore you, lovely 🥰 these stories are all wonderful anddeserve their own category 💛

you're the glitter in the dark

one-shot, 18+, mob!bucky

if i could touch you...

one-shot, 18+, boxer!steve

love you in a thousand ways

one-shot, 18+, ceo!sam

miss your kiss

one-shot, 18+, biker!thor

🎂@rodrikstark ’s 1.5k follower celebration!

collecion of headcanons with our favourite marvel boys as well as some other characters, i bloody love them all but my numer one has got to be joaquin teaching you spanish 😌

✨ Sam Wilson

book smart by @indyluckycharlie

one-shot, librarian!sam x PhD student!reader, such a warm and comfy little story by my dearest cate who i love very much 😌

he we go again by @/xbuchananbarnes

one-shot, idiots in love 🥰🥰

adventures in babysitting captain america and winter solider by @princessmisery666

one-shot, reader takes the boys to disneyland and it's just so amazing!

stay awhile by @lacapucharoja

one-shot, black!reader, a saturday morning with sam 😌😌

slow motion by @ambrosiase

one-shot, 18+, sam in baggy grey sweatpants and no underwear, need i say more?

✨ Steve Rogers

bullies, bullied by @anika-ann

one-shot, my main babe is blessing us with protective steve and i love her 🥰

there's a peace in dreaming by @babycap

one-shot, i don't have the words to tell you how stunning this story is, please go read it

✨ Bucky Barnes

timer by @xbuchananbarnes

series, soulmate!au based on the movie TiMER (2009). i could go on and on about how incredible that series is but with dani it's a given, sooo 🤷‍♀️

the kids will be alright by @imaginationintowords

series, social media au, lawyer!bucky x interior designer!reader, single dad!bucky, single mom!reader raising their kid together as friends, also reader x clark kent. honestly this is one of my fave social media aus of all time. and it's got a sequel is coming!!

quick fix by @ocean-bucky

one-shot, tfatws!bucky x ofc, vidra is the queen of ofc's, you simply can't not love her characters!

grant (part 2) by @coffeecatsandsarcasm

two-shot, bucky's in a relationship with a single mom with a little boy, it's so soft, i love this little family!

before sunset, i fell by @buckysbiota

one-shot, modern!au, when i get drunk i get myself cake, when reader got drunk, she got herself a husband. a very fine husband 😏

alcohol you later by @/xbuchananbarnes

one-shot, is it the 4th of dani's fics on this list? yes, she's just that powerful

three flags up by @starbuckie

one-shot, 18+, campcounselor!bucky x campcounselor!reader, best friends to lovers, buck being a cute little puppy in love and i adore him very much

and he kissed me right there by @sunmoonandbucky

one-shot, veteran!bucky, age gap, this is so full of feelings and it's gonna steal your heart!

lost and found by @sunshinebuckybarnes

two-shot, neighbour!bucky, alpine being the matchmaker of the year and we love that for her

hazy dreams and good mornings by @angrythingstarlight

one-shot, 18+, firefighter!bucky, i think that's enough encouragement to read this gem 😏

✨ Joaquin Torres

red by @remmysbounty

one-shot, a truly exceptional story!!

hold my words, keep us together by @/xbuchananbarnes

one-shot, soulmate!au, just simply stunning!

✨Peter Parker

love lies by @rosyparkers

series, social media au, y/n is silk but peter doesn't know it, peter is spiderman but y/n doesn't know it, sarah is the brightest star in the universe and everyone knows it

sunset lovers by @duskholland

one-shot, college! au, soulmate!au where what your soulmate writes on their skin, appears on yours. i don't think i have to tell you that eveything written by h, my beloved is pure gold. the softest thing!

always waiting (for you to come home) by @peterbenjiparker

one-shot, reader comes to peter cause she needs him to patch her up after patrol, it's so funny and sweet and i just love it so much, m is the bestest!!

perfectly a little late by @/t-lostinworlds

one-shot, college!au, reader forgets about peter's birthday. or does she 👀 please, give a round of applause for this wonderful writer who's been feeding us so well this month 👏👏

this fic by @peeterparkr

one-shot, last kiss with peter :') nancy knows all the most beautiful ways to break someone's heart

the plan by @spideyyeet

series, aveneger!reader, reader likes peter, peter likes mj, mysterio shows up, lots of angsty things happen. it's so bloody good, my mates, go read it!!

burning red by @spideyspeaches

one-shot, avenger!reader who who describes people's personalities as colors, it's just a stunning story with wonderful writing and i love it!!

this fic by @mcumendes

blurb, peter brings y/n flowers and is very very adorable!!

kiss me more by @celestialholland

one-shot, first make out with peter and i'm just 😫😫 in love

the reveal by @cloudybarnes

one-shot, best friends!reader where she finds out about him being spiderman, so lovely!!

always by @ptersmj

one-shot, an absolutely adorable best friends to lovers moment

red-handed by @/vendettaparker

one-shot, stark!reader, morgan interrupts y/n and peter's alone time 😏😂

OTHERS

✨ Spencer Reid

as told by flowers by @reidingmelodies

one-shot, story about the progress of the relationship with spencer told by flowers (duh 😂), it's just wonderful!!

✨ Frank Adler

thnks fr th mmrs by @wiypt-writes

one-shot, 18+, reader goes to frank the night before his wedding, i love this with everything i have

will you hold on my love by @writerwrites

one-shot, don't come anywhere near this piece without tissues!!

✨ Ransom Drysdale

undercover boss by @chase-your-dreams-away

series, reader's working at drysdales' company and hooks up with ransom not knowing who he is. this series is so bloody good! i love the reader in here so much!!

a/n: if you catch some kind of mistake or if you see that i miscredited someone - please let me know so i can change that!

#anna's fic recs #august fic recs #fic recs #marvel fic recs #tom holland x reader #harrison osterfield x reader #harry holland x reader #sam wilson x reader #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader

438 notes · View notes

pagesoflauren · 5 years

Text

Ride & Prejudice Ch. 3 (Steve Rogers x reader; cowboy AU)

Summary: A take on Pride & Prejudice, certain circumstances in your life have led you to take refuge and work in a farm village, particularly on the ranch owned by Steve Rogers. He doesn’t take kindly to you, having bad perceptions about city folk. Your only reaction to that is the one you deem acceptable: get annoyed at every little thing he does whilst doing your best to annoy him and still keep your job.

Warnings: mentions of violence, reader has PTSD & traumatic flashbacks, guns, mentions of animal violence, animal injury, swearing, angst, slow burn, eventual smut.

Specific warning for this chapter: the reader goes into detail about what has brought her to the farm. It involves gun violence and death.

Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Word Count: 3,657

Posted January 5, 2020

“...She’ll be ready to join y’all in a month, I'm tellin’ you!” Nat absolutely gushes about you and how well you've been while breaking Brego.

The first two weeks were easy, just getting the horse used to your touch and presence, having him understand you weren't a threat. He cooperated well enough, though when you brought a bridle into the picture, all bets were off.

He stomped and kicked and whinnied, absolutely terrified and forgetting everything you had worked on in the few seconds you had shown him the bridle. You threw it out of sight and he calmed down, allowing you to pet him to salvage what trust hadn’t been lost.

You easily found the trick was singing and slow movements to keep him relaxed and focused on you, rather than the harness that would go around his head. He was also very much like a toddler, enjoying physical touch like forehead touches and pettings. Nat smiled whenever she saw you two interacting, proud of every step you made to create a bond with him.

You worked your way up to saddling and mounting, eventually learning to direct him in turns as he trotted laps around the corral. You and Nat were stupid excited, squealing and high-fiving each other profusely after doing exercises for a week.

“That’s great!” Peter says happily, smiling at you widely, then sadly adding, “It’ll be so fun to have you with us, I won’t feel like a third wheel.”

You coo at him, pinching his cheek. “Don’t worry, Peter, we’ll be the cool ones.”

“Yeah right,” Bucky says, “Steve and I already got that covered.”

“I thought you were going for a fun and boring friendship paradox,” you verbally poke, raising laughter from everyone except the man you called boring.

“And I thought you were going for someone who’s actually trying to earn my respect.”

Silence falls almost immediately, tension rising in the room.

“And I thought for a man who demands respect from someone he met only two months ago he would at least treat me decently.”

“You’ve given me no reason to--”

“And I’ve also given you no reason not to!” you burst, having enough.

More silence. It’s thick in the room, like a heavy blanket pressing into your skin.

Steve stands suddenly and all eyes are on him. Even Ransom in the corner of the room perks up, ears at attention.

“I gotta go to the bathroom,” is all he says, awkwardly stalking off.

More silence, broken by Bucky this time.

“Well, time to wash up, yeah? How about some cake?” he suggests, offering the leftovers from Nat’s trip into the market to satisfy her sweet cravings.

Steve is more mindful of his steps as he passes the bathroom and goes into the guest room--your room. He slowly opens the door to avoid the squeaking hinges and turning on the light to help him see better.

You’re hiding something. He knows it.

He starts with your drawers, opening and shutting them when he finds nothing. He looks on the floor under the bed, lifts the mattress from the bedframe to check there. He presses his face to look behind the headboard against the wall and finds nothing still.

He scoots across the bed to eliminate noise and cross the room to the closet, turning the knob and slowly opening the door.

There’s nothing on the walls or the shelf above the rod where your clothes hang from. Your suitcases are stacked on top of each other on the floor. He picks up the top one, setting it on the floor and opening the zipper one tooth at a time. When he flips open the cover, there’s still nothing there. He moves to the other suitcase opening as slowly as the first.

It’s empty.

Save for the manila folder that rests on the bottom, stamped with a red “CONFIDENTIAL” across it.

He takes it out, sits down and reads it. He scans the court report, eyes scanning. He spots one phrase, “accused of second degree murder,” and marches downstairs as he hears you all laughing in the kitchen, you and Nat splitting a piece of chocolate cake.

“The fuck is this?” he spits, throwing the file on the counter.

Cold runs from your scalp and prickles down your spine.

“Nat, you hired a murderer?” Steve continues, hands on his hips, expression severe.

Bucky’s eyes go wide with betrayal, shocked that his wife would lie to him.

“Baby?” he asks, grabbing the file. He flips through it quickly. “What is this?”

“You gonna explain yourself?” Steve asks.

Tears are already brimming in your eyes and you breathe deeply. “Did you read it?” you ask.

“I read enough.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“I did!” he shouts, “You murdered someone and are sitting here expecting us to help you?”

“Steve, you don’t know the whole story,” Nat interjects.

“I don’t need to know the whole story. She leaves in the morning, I’m not letting her--”

“He would have killed me!” you scream over him. Everyone looks at you this time.

“Honey, you don’t have to--”

“No, I do,” you interrupt Nat, “I’m not gonna let another man try to accuse me of something I didn’t do.”

You set your fork down, piece of cake still speared on it.

“My friend and I were out getting drinks. I drove her home and waited for her to get into her apartment. She didn’t live in the nicest part of the city, a lot of really shady things happened there.” You pause, closing your eyes. “I saw...I saw these men in the alleyway. They had a gun pointed at someone. I knew I had to leave before things went any further. When the trigger was pulled I started my car and they saw me.”

Nat says your name quietly, putting a hand on your shoulder as a way to tell you to stop.

You shake your head and keep going. “When I was turning to leave, they shot out my tires. When I had nowhere to go, they pulled me out and threw me onto the ground. They were yelling they were gonna kill me too. They put a gun to my head, Steve.”

You raise your chin to look at him. His posture has sagged significantly, listening to you intently.

“I don’t know what I did, I might have kicked him, but the gun fell out of his hands. I grabbed it and just pulled the trigger.” You press your hands to your head, hating the memories emerging in your mind. “The police came and arrested everyone, including me. It was a mess, God, it was a mess. They accused me of being some scorned lover of the guy I killed to try and discredit me as a witness and create a case for murder. Their lawyer was really good.

“There was no way to prove I wasn’t seeing him because I had gotten rid of the pictures I had with the guy I was seeing during the time frame they used. They were able to twist everything I said, everything my friends said until the DA pulled my ex in to testify. The judge dismissed the case but they were furious, yelling threats at me and telling me I was getting what was coming to me. The police gave me protection before they offered to relocate me here.”

You shut your eyes before placing your hands on the counter and daring a look at Steve.

“I killed someone. But there was no other way. I wake up in the middle of the night feeling the barrel of the gun pressed to my head. I dream of scenarios where they succeed and I’m lying cold six feet underground.”

“Stop,” Steve says, and you think you can see tears in his eyes.

You continue.

“Even now, when I’m meant to be safe, I still pay for it because everyday I have to deal with you and your petty feelings. Things could be worse, I get it. But I know I don’t deserve all this because I am nothing like whatever city folk you’ve encountered. I’m just trying to move on with my life. I don’t need you to dig into me like this, especially when it’s none of your business, how did you even get this?” you ask, pointing at the file in Bucky’s hands.

He tells the truth, then apologizes immediately after.

You scoff, jumping off your stool and walking around the island. You snatch the file out of Bucky’s hands and he flinches away from you. You approach Steve and look into his eyes, long and intensely. You don’t know what’s behind them, what emotion or thought. You’d like to think it’s regret.

You break gaze and head for the stairs, stepping onto the first one.

“By the way, you may as well use my real name from now on.”

You introduce yourself from there and head upstairs to get ready for bed.

“Jesus fuck Steve, I told you!” Bucky shouts. “I told you to stay out of it, keep your damn nose out of these things.”

“Do you know what could happen now?” Nat adds, “An agent’s comin’ in a month to see how she’s adjusted. If they find out there’s a risk of her name and location getting out because you snooped--”

“Which I told you not to do!” Bucky says again.

“They could take her back to be relocated again! If they find out she’s in the city, she won’t stand a chance. It was a mob gang, Steve. They have connections everywhere.”

Steve is beside himself, head hanging in shame as guilt rests on his shoulders, weighing heavier and heavier with each second. He doesn’t need to be told that he fucked up.

Nat finishes her cake and dumps her plate in the sink.

As she passes Steve, she stops.

“Steven Rogers, I have never been so disappointed in you.”

Bucky follows her.

“You better fix this.”

Steve stands in the entryway, shifting from side to side. He runs his fingers through his hair, looking at Peter, who’s still looking at him. He reminds Steve of a sad puppy, like Ransom when he was told he couldn’t go outside when it rained.

He and Peter leave in silence that night, using the spare key to lock the front door for them.

You stay in your room in the morning, skipping breakfast and listening to the sound of cutlery tapping against the plates and heavy slurps of coffee.

You stare at the window, thinking back to when the agent first drove you here. You were scared, but also had first-day-of-school nerves. You remembered thinking what you would do if the people here didn’t like you. Nat, Bucky and Peter had done everything to make you feel welcome and you had grown to like them.

Steve was like another curveball. He’s so handsome, you weren’t stupid. When he went in not liking you, you were stupid enough to think it was a game. But it was all him trying to find any reason to dislike you and now he had tried to twist your story like the lawyer who accused you of murder.

“Can I come in?”

The voice is too deep to be Peter’s and the drawl is too thick to be Bucky.

“Why? Here to find another reason to try and kick me off your farm?”

The floorboards creak and shift with his steps. You think he’s going to sit on the bed with you, but instead he sits on the floor next to you, knees bent, elbows resting over them as he clasps his hands together. His back rests against the bed as he faces the window too.

“I’m sorry,” he says so quietly that you can barely hear him.

“Are you so proud that you can’t even look me in the eye when you apologize?” you bite, still bitter. You don’t know if you can ever forgive him.

You watch with surprise as he moves to his knees, right hand rubbing the back of his neck and he wills himself to look at you. When he takes in your expression, stone cold and penetrating, his own face becomes desperate.

“I’m sorry,” he tells you, blue eyes clear in showing you his regret. “My ma always told me to not stick my nose in places where it don’t belong.”

“I see you take her advice well,” you say sarcastically.

“Why don’t you lay down your own pride for once!” he says indignantly. “I’m here tryin’a apologize and make amends--”

“How can you ever expect to make amends for what you did?” you stand as you reply, using the same tone.

“I don’t know, I’m on my damn knees! Figured that was a good place to start and we could go from there.”

You can see he’s at a loss. This is a man who either has had little to apologize for in his life or is as stubborn as some of the cattle he herds, having a hard time bending.

“I know I can’t expect you to forgive me. But I want to move forward from this, please. However we can. You can stay, f’you want. And if you do, I’d just like to know I could--we could--be friends one day, when you forgive me.”

“If I forgive you,” you correct.

“Yeah.”

He’s still on his knees.

There’s a lot of thoughts going through your head. You’ve been here for two months and made friendships with Nat, Bucky and Peter. You’ve had fun with Nat and when Bucky is around, you feel like a lifelong friend, not an intruder or third wheel. Peter holds a special place in your heart, like a little brother you never had.

Though you hate to admit it, in the past two months, you’ve also harbored a tiny (huge) crush on the man in front of you. With every word of banter caused an elastic stretch in your chest, giving a squeezing feeling in your heart and butterflies in your stomach. And his damn eyes…

“Can I tell you something?” Steve asks, gesturing for you to sit on your bed again.

You slowly sit down and he sits back on his heels, running his hands through his hair and God, you hate how attracted you are to him.

“When my pa was younger, he grew up here and didn’t want to stay. He packed his things and moved to the city to start a business. He partnered up with some guy he met, who seemed really trustworthy. You can probably tell where this was going,” he said, looking up at you.

You nodded. Though your prediction was right, you still listened as Steve told you how the man stole his father’s money, leaving him only with the clothes on his back and the items in his suitcase. He came home with no choice but to take over the farm and settle down there. While Steve loves being a cattle hand, it’s not something he learned from his father.

“Pa never liked farmwork much. Brought me and my brother up with the idea that city folk ain’t worth trusting because the first one he met took every opportunity and dream away from him. When my brother and I graduated high school, he made it known that he wasn’t gonna stay, so he took his inheritance and left for the city. Hasn’t been in contact since. Just another reason to not trust city folk, they just think they’re too good for us.

“I know I don’t know you. Though you been here months, I just haven’t tried. That’s just all I knew. Pa died shortly after he hired Bucky. Nat helped take care of Ma when she got sick. I just...don’t talk to many people. I’m not good at it. Never was. And I know this all sounds like a bunch of excuses but I’m trying to use them as an explanation, not an excuse.

“I’m sorry. I am. I never should’a tried to get ridda ya. I shouldn’t have been so judgmental about you.”

You breathe deeply, taking in all the information you’ve learned about his prejudice. Though the generous part of you wanted to forgive him, you knew you shouldn’t.

“I appreciate your apology,” you say evenly. “Thank you for telling me that, you didn’t have to. But don’t think it automatically fixes everything.”

“I don’t,” he says, making to stand up, “I just thought it’d be good for you to know.”

You hum, keeping your face neutral. You weigh the scenarios of harboring your anger towards him for what he’s done versus the idea of slowly letting it go over time, though probably never forgiving him fully.

You liked living here, you liked Bucky, Nat and Peter. The trajectory of you life here entailed you going out every day with the boys to herd the cattle out of pasture. Everyday you will eat meals with Steve and Peter. Even now, when you’re angry with him, you still have a crush on Steve. Granted, you’re completely aware of the fact that your crush is the lowest priority, but it’d be nice to be able to look at Steve everyday. At least until you find another man who actually likes you.

If you left, you would go back into danger’s path, have learn an entirely new alias, adjust again and bank on the hope that those people won’t completely hate your guts the way Steve does.

Was the risk worth it?

You closed your eyes, huffing a breath. You opened them to find Steve still giving you that desperate, morose look.

“Well, I guess we should go downstairs, they’re probably waiting for us to get started on the day.”

Nat had been right. Within a month, you and Brego were ready to ride out daily with the boys.

You kept distance from Steve apart from pleasantries and strictly business talk. You’re certain that sometimes you catch him looking at you, though you think it’s just because he still feels guilty.

You don’t feel much anger towards him anymore. Mostly you just wonder how you’re meant to move forward. It’s been an awkward dance around each other, jokes falling flat on the ground or ending in dissolving laughter without a follow up. You try to stay near Bucky and take commands from him, but of course there’s the odd occasion where Steve has to tell you what to do.

You’ve learned more about your colleagues/housemates. Bucky speaks Romanian. His horse is a palamino, tan with white at the bottoms of his legs. He’s named him Sesoto, the Romanian word for “socks” because, “Don’t he look like he got some on?” Peter’s aunt lives in the next town over, running a grocery store. She worries about him all the time. Despite his naivete and boyish nature, he’s very clever and quick on his feet.

Steve continues to remain a bit of an enigma, though Bucky tells you what he feels at liberty to say. Steve’s favorite color is blue. He originally wanted to join the army, but his father ingrained farming into his head.

“His horse is like his girlfriend,” Bucky says with his mouth full during lunch.

“What?” you spit, hating the image Bucky has put into your head.

“Oh, no, not that way. Jesus, woman, get your mind out the gutter!”

“Then what do you mean?”

“They’re like best friends, I guess. I mean, I’m his best friend and Ransom’s his other best friend but the man and his horse, like...s’almost like you and Brego. She won’t let anyone else near her with a bridle. She’ll really only listen to Steve.”

“Did he grow up with her?”

“Nah,” he says, swallowing the bite.

“Do you always talk with your mouth full?” you interject before he starts his story, earning a bump on the shoulder from him.

“Anyway. Steve’s kinda always been reckless all our lives. He’d get into fights all the time in school. Was a bit of a pipsqueak. Then he got big when he really started working on the farm, lifting all the heavy shit.

“But he didn’t stop being stupid. One day he was up on the hayloft in the barn and the ladder fell. I was gonna get something for him to land on when he jumped off, but he said it was fine. He landed on his side, broke his ribs and arm real bad. He spent weeks in the hospital and going through physical therapy. His ribs stopped him from getting on a horse so that was a real struggle.

“Meanwhile, Ash was found really badly abused. We don’t know what she was used for, but whatever it was, she ran away even with a broken leg. Steve’s dad got her and helped her recover and thought she’d be perfect for Steve cuz they were going through the same thing ‘n all. They needed each other.”

“Like me and Brego,” you say, watching Steve sit with his horse and a drawing pad under a tree across the field.

“Yeah,” he says, “You two needed to get out of the situation y’all were in. And it brought you here.”

You look down at your sandwich thoughtfully, thinking about how 1. You and a horse could be so similar and 2. You and Steve could be similar. Steve needed to see deeper into you to stop being so bitter. It took a huge fight and the entire dynamic in the houses turning upside down, but you were in a better place now.

Maybe now it was your turn to see deeper into him.

“You’re either thinkin’ a lot about Steve and his horse or thinkin’ real hard about that sandwich,” Bucky jokes.

You pop the last bite into your mouth, wipe the crumbs off your hands and swipe your hand up to knock Bucky’s hand off his head.

Tagging: @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @viarogers @jamielea81

Next Chapter

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x you #mcu fanfiction #mcu fic #avengers x reader #avengers fanfiction #cowboy au #ficsofpagesoflauren

247 notes · View notes

green-eyeddragonfanfiction · 6 years

Text

War of Attrition: Chapter 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x Reader Summary: Best friends with Steve Rogers, renowned Howling Commando, and married to one James Buchanan Barnes, your life wasn’t perfect, but it was as close as it could possibly be in the middle of World War II. Then you fell from a train in the Alps, and everything changed. You spent nearly 70 years as a tool of Hydra alongside your beloved, though your past with him was more often than not forgotten. Steve wakes up the 21st Century. He tries his best to adjust. Warnings: Swearing (always), talk of death Word Count: ~4,312 A/N: English is back to normal quotes. Russian and other languages (when they eventually show up again) will be in quotes and italics.

Masterlist // Book One // Book Two

Next Chapter

Steve’s POV

2012 - New York, New York. United States of America

Steve supposed he should be happy. He was alive, after all. He’d survived an alien invasion... and seventy years on ice.

By all accounts, he was lucky.

Fortunate, even.

But the more he walked around New York, the less he recognized it. The neighborhood he’d grown up in was almost unrecognizable. The building he technically owned thanks to (Y/N) and Bucky’s gift all those years ago- the building he’d lived in for years- had been torn down and replaced decades ago in an attempt to fix the structural unsoundness of the growing cityscape. It was a hideous design Steve had learned to recognize as being from the 70′s.

As a show of good will, Tony (he couldn’t call him “Stark,” not in his head. Howard would always be “Stark.”) had hired some lawyers and gotten the current owners of the building to settle and give Steve a check that had his eyes widening so much Tony actually seemed concerned they’d pop out of his head. Steve had wordlessly handed the check back to him and told him to donate it to charity or something.

Tony had deposited half into Steve’s bank account and given the other half to various charities, all approved of by Steve first.

Steve didn’t check his bank account. Between that disgustingly huge check and the back pay from technically never leaving the army, Steve had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of his life. Considering he grew up the poor son of a single mother (and an immigrant, at that), Steve had no idea what to do with all of the money he suddenly found in his possession. He probably couldn’t spend it all if he tried. Inflation still messed with his head, though. He still picked pennies up out of habit, constantly forgetting they were essentially worthless now.

The technology was the worst, though. They’d tried to give him a “cell phone” but he’d given up on trying to use it beyond pressing the green button when someone called him and plugging it into the outlet on the wall to charge at night. He hadn’t had a telephone back in the 40′s. His building didn’t even have one, old as it was. He’d had to go to the lobby of the building next to his to make a call, not that he usually needed to. The only people he really talked to back then were his ma and Bucky and he was inside so often due to his health that his mother was never far and Bucky had no trouble finding him.

Computers were a different beast altogether but he’d grudgingly forced himself to learn how to use one. This, at least, had a keyboard that reminded him of a typewriter. With a little help from Natasha (he refused to ask Tony for help. The man’s techno-babble just confused Steve more) he learned how to “surf the internet”. He spent more time on Wikipedia than any other sight, but found himself on Youtube fairly often, too. The internet, at least, was helpful in learning just about anything Steve had questions about.

A video played on the screen; old propaganda videos of Steve running around the battlefield, searching bombed-out towns, and talking to important people that he remembered really disliking. It was stupid. All of it was stupid.

It was war. It wasn’t anything like this narrator made it sound. He was scared a lot. Sometimes for other people, sometimes for himself. He saw an innumerable measure of people get hurt.

Hurt his fair share himself.

He clicked the laptop off and stared at his own reflection off the screen in the dim morning light. The sudden silence did little to calm his thoughts, though the sounds of the city waking up outside was familiar, at least.

He finally looked at the file on the table, trepidation gathering low in his gut. He hadn’t looked at it yet, too afraid of what he might find. He flicked it open before he could stop himself again, heart immediately clenching painfully at the first page on the small pile.

James Morita. Deceased.

It only got worse.

James Montgomery Falsworth. Deceased.

Gabriel Jones. Deceased.

Jacques Dernier. Deceased.

Timothy Aloysius Cadwallader Dugan. Deceased.

Steve swallowed past the lump in his throat. He’d expected as much. He’d gotten a few letters from Dum Dum and Gabe’s family, but none from the people themselves. He was sure they’d have contacted him by now if they knew he was alive.

And everyone knew he was alive.

He was all over the news with the other “Avengers” (as people had started calling them). Not a single soul around the world didn’t know he was back.

He knew they were dead, but seeing it written plain as day on paper in bright red ink was something else entirely.

He wanted to stop and shove the papers back into the folder, but the next sheet below Dum Dum’s caught his eye.

Margaret Carter.

Steve hardly dared to breathe as he took in the next words.

Retired.

He scanned the page quickly.

Alive. Living in the UK. Safe.

A telephone number was listed, but Steve couldn’t bring himself to dial it. He stared at the phone despondently. It blinked back at him mockingly. She had a whole life without him. What right did he have to come bumbling into it now? He never got that dance but he was sure he still had two left feet anyway, new body be damned.

He wondered if she might have (Y/N) and Bucky’s things. He couldn’t imagine her letting anyone take them. He wouldn’t be surprised if she’d kept (Y/N)’s designs hidden from anyone and everyone.

He set her paper down and picked up the next one on the pile, heart dropping again.

Howard Stark. Deceased.

Steve added Stark’s to the pile and was surprised to see another beneath it. It was on glossy new paper, obviously unlike the others even at a glance.

Anthony Stark. Alive. Active- Adviser.

Steve set the page back down away from the rest and stared at it, his recent adventure flashing through his mind.

The world may not see the man underneath the stars and stripes anymore (if they ever did to begin with), but it seemed like they still needed the hero. He bickered with Tony and the others, but they also fought tooth and nail and put their lives on the line to save the world. They were odd enough in their own ways that Steve didn’t feel completely out of place.

Peggy was still here, too. He’d talk to her soon, just... not today.

He had to find a way to live in this new world.

The crush of people on the busy streets was familiar, even if all the technology and lack of politeness wasn’t.

Then again, maybe that wasn’t so different, either.

But the stalls sold things Steve couldn’t recognize. There were lots of wires and stacks of phones that Steve was fairly sure were at least partially illegal in some way. People had their noses buried in phones instead of newspapers and magazines. Cars inside buildings looked even more futuristic than the flying car Howard had shown off at the Stark Expo back in ‘41. He’d been inside a few by now and had to admit they were nice, but he’d still stick to his old motorcycle, thank you very much. Apparently a museum had Patriot on display, so he settled for a nice “old” Harley.

Still didn’t ride as nice as Patriot did, though.

Eventually he found his way to a coffee shop. This had been a cafe, too, back in the day, but it had obviously changed hands a few times over since he saw it last. He pulled his notebook and pen out of his pocket and began sketching, trying to capture the new, unfamiliar skyline of the city he grew up in.

“Waiting on the big guy?”

Steve glanced up from his sketch at the waitress, squinting a little bit against the sun. “Ma’am?” he asked, confused. Did she mean the president? Was she an agent? Was he supposed to meet someone here?

“Iron Man. Lotta people eat here just to see ‘im fly by,” she said, gesturing to the skyline behind her.

Steve stared at the building behind her, his gaze turning flat. “Right.” It took him a second to realize she was smiling at him and he leaned forward and grabbed his wallet out of his pocket. “Maybe another time.” He hadn’t realized how late it had gotten and he didn’t know if he could handle talking to someone right now, especially a pretty da- lovely woman.

“Table’s yours as long as you like. Nobody’s waiting on it,” she said with a conspiratory wink as she refilled his coffee. “Plus we’ve got free wireless,” she said as she walked away.

Steve frowned. “Radio?”

She smiled at him over her shoulder as though he’d told a funny joke and returned to tending the other customers.

“Ask for her number, you moron,” said one of the older men sitting at the table next to his. It was startling to think Steve was probably older than him.

Oh. Wireless. The internet. Right.

Steve got up a few minutes later. He didn’t ask for her number.

The train ride back to his place was quiet. The more he looked at people the more he realized he still didn’t dress quite right for the time. He looked out the window, but that didn’t help much, either. All he saw was the strange skyline and cars and signs that he didn’t recognize.

Loki may have been a calculating, evil megalomaniac, but he had one thing right: Steve was a man out of time.

2014 - Washington DC, United States of America

Steve walked slowly through the Smithsonian exhibit. It was weird seeing his face stretched ten feet high on the wall. Hell, it was weird that there was an exhibit for him at all. The bonds tour back in ‘41-’43 had been one thing, but this was something else entirely. His entire life as Captain America was on display for the world to see.

Steve Rogers wasn’t who all these people came to see. Not really. For the last seventy years he was a character on the screen or in a comic book, not a flesh and blood person. Steve didn’t regret joining the army or participating in Erskine’s experiment, but ever since he got his new body, all people saw was the hero Captain America, not the man Steve Rogers.

Although Steve thought he was pretty dang heroic before the serum, even if Bucky did have to fish him out of fights on occasion.

Bucky.

Steve bit back a sigh and focused back on the present, though that was difficult when memorabilia of the past surrounded him almost to the point of being suffocating.

“A symbol to the nation. A hero to the world. The story of Captain America is one of honor, bravery, and sacrifice.”

The voice came out of speakers in the ceiling, dramatic and inspiring, even as Steve rolled his eyes at the words.

He could imagine (Y/N) teasing him. “Brave? As if. You’re just too dumb not to run away from a fight, huh, Buck?”

Their faces were plastered on the wall next to his and the other Howling Commandos. “You got that right, Doll. Did I tell you about the one time he picked a fight with the Ghulie brothers two doors down? He was eight and they were eleven! Got the snot kicked out of him. Had to patch him up before his ma came home and chewed us both out.”

He frowned and pulled the baseball cap lower over his eyes. Maybe this hadn’t been the best idea.

“Denied enlistment due to poor health, Steven Rogers was chosen for a program unique in the annals of American warfare. One that would transform him into the world’s first super soldier.”

There were long display screens showing the physical difference between him before and after the serum, including some pretty embarrassing photos of him at camp Lehigh. Just next to those were pictures of the science team that worked on project Rebirth, Howard, Abraham, and (Y/N) beaming proudly in the front row. It was taken the morning of the experiment. It only felt like a few years ago, but nearly everyone in that photo was dead now.

He’d watched Abraham and (Y/N) die himself.

No, he’d let them die.

The crowd pushed him along. Mothers with yelling children didn’t have time for his brooding. Life marched on.

He walked past Patriot, Moxie, and Valor all side by side in glass cases. Apparently Moxie’s engine had been removed and replaced with a lookalike; it was years ahead of other electric engines so Stark and Peggy had removed it and kept it hidden away for safekeeping. Patriot was as large and imposing as ever, dwarfing Moxie by comparison. Valor looked as graceful and dangerous as he remembered, all classic curves and streamlined upgrades.

The huge mural with him and the Commandos drew his attention, though, and he found himself walking towards it even though he hadn’t told his feet to move.

Their gear was placed carefully on manikins and Steve wondered briefly if they shouldn’t be behind glass or something. His eyes drifted to (Y/N) and Bucky’s gear of their own accord. It wasn’t her original suit, obviously. Chances were that was Bucky’s spare coat, but the suit on the manikin representing her was guaranteed to be a fake. She trashed all her earlier prototypes and she’d fallen in the real one. Still, it was pretty convincing even to Steve’s trained eye. Howard probably helped make it before he died; he knew the design the best out of everyone besides (Y/N).

Dum Dum’s ridiculous bowler hat and Falsworth’s bright red beret nearly made Steve smile, his lips twitching up in a weird aborted motion before falling back down into a grimace.

He turned away from the haunting faceless manikins and perused the small side room full of (Y/N)’s inventions, smiling when he remembered a specific incident surrounding a gizmo or gadget.

More than once he thought about the way Coulson would fawn over the gadgets and the stories behind them if he were here. While he’d been mighty proud of his vintage card collection (”I just obtained a mint of Lady Liberty! They only printed a few hundred of her, you know!”), Steve knew the man would do just about anything to get his hands on (Y/N)’s inventions. She’d created nearly all of the Commando’s gear, after all. It was easy to sometimes take her genius for granted back then. Even though it was war, Steve never actually thought she’d die. She always seemed so indomitable, like Peggy.

Like Bucky.

Steve was moping again. He knew it. He’d been staring at the same wristwatch walky-talky for at least ten minutes, lost in his own head.

“-They earned their stripes, taking down Hydra: The Nazi rogue science division.”

The narrator’s voice floated through the door as more people came in the smaller room and Steve made a hasty retreat, not wanting to chance being spotted because he was in such tight quarters.

He felt a little more at ease in the large room...

Until his eyes fell on the memorials.

He walked towards it with a sense of determination he wasn’t sure he really felt.

“Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield.

(Y/N) (Y/L/N) met Steven Rogers when working on the program that would turn Rogers into the super soldier we know him as today and stayed friends with him ever since.

After being rescued by Steven Rogers, (Y/L/N) and Barnes fell in love and married one another while in Europe fighting Hydra, though their union was short-lived.

The Barneses were the only Howling Commandos to give their lives in service of their country.”

It seemed wrong to have their entire lives summarized in two paragraphs on a piece of etched glass. Their faces looked noble and so, so human and familiar that Steve couldn’t do anything but stare for a few long minutes.

“The Fallen Comrades” it read in huge script at the top. The left side was (Y/N)’s short biography, the right reserved for Bucky’s. The center was an etched carving of the two of them as they were on their wedding day, dressed as nicely as they could be, considering they were in the middle of war-torn Europe.

“James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes and (Y/N) (Y/M/N) “Lady Liberty” Barnes”

“When Bucky Barnes first met Steve Rogers on the playgrounds of Brooklyn, little did he know that he was forging a bond that would take him to the battlefields of Europe and beyond.”

Steve stared at that little snippet for much too long, mind flashing back to 1920′s Brooklyn, skinned elbows, bullies twice Steve’s size, and a knobby-kneed Bucky that hadn’t yet managed to grow into his big feet.

His gaze flicked to her side of the memorial, flashes of Camp Lehigh dancing behind his eyes.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N) met Steve Rogers while he was being evaluated for the super soldier program. She supported him from day one, not knowing that he’d one day save her life and lead her to her future husband, one James Buchanan Barnes.”

His eyes trailed back to Bucky’s side, his heart numb with loss at this point. He couldn’t stop reading if he tried.

“Born in 1917, James Barnes grew up the oldest child of four. An excellent athlete who also excelled in the classroom, Barnes enlisted in the Army shortly after the attack on Pearl Harbor. After winter training at Camp McCoy, Wisconsin, Barnes and the rest of the 107th shipped out to the Italian front. Captured by Hydra troops later that fall, Barnes endured long periods of isolation, deprivation, and torture. But his will was strong. It was also during this time that he met his future wife (Y/N) (Y/L/N), and often protected her from the horrors their Hydra captors inflicted upon them. In an ironic twist of fate, his prison camp was liberated by none other than his childhood friend Steve Rogers, now Captain America. Reunited, Barnes and Rogers led Captain America’s newly formed unit, the Howling Commandos. Barnes’ marksmanship was invaluable as Rogers and his team destroyed Hydra bases and disrupted Nazi troop movements throughout the European Theater. -Bucky Barnes- 1917-1944″

He turned back to her side, his heart heavy and his mind sluggish.

“Born in 1916, (Y/N) (Y/L/N) was orphaned at a young age. What would have broken lesser people, though, only fueled (Y/N)’s determination to succeed. It was through sheer force of will that she became one of the brightest minds of her time. She’s now recognized widely to have been a key factor to the Super Soldier Program and equal to Howard Stark in technological advancement. She worked closely with Doctor Abraham Erskine and Howard Stark to bring Erskine’s work to life in the form of one Steven Rogers, Captain America. The universe has a strange sense of humor, though. She was kidnapped along with the men of the 107th. In nothing short of a miracle, she met her future husband, Bucky Barnes, while imprisoned. With both of his friends in enemy clutches, it was no surprise that Steve Rogers liberated the base, saving them both. She joined Barnes and Rogers and the other Howling Commandos on the front, often providing technical support, weaponry, and combat advice for the team. She was the only female member of the Howling Commandos and was never officially a member of the American Army, though she received full honors regardless. -(Y/N) Barnes- 1916-1944“

It was more than most people got, he supposed.

You had empty graves, though. Steve wondered if Peggy had (Y/N)’s flag, or if it had gone home to the Barnes household. Steve liked the thought of that. Of (Y/N) having a family that loved her even though they never met her. Knowing Bucky’s Ma Winifred, it wouldn’t surprise him at all if the Barnes Matriarch had demanded her daughter-in-law’s flag and kept it next to her son’s at all times.

Steve had visited the graves once, and only once. There weren’t bodies there, but the sight of your names engraved on bleak marble had made him sick so he hadn’t gone back again.

He still visited Dum Dum, Gabe, and Jim though when he got a chance. People still left flowers on their graves even though some of the guys had been dead for years now.

He told himself it was all worth it. Hydra had been stopped. The rest of the Commandos (and the rest of the world, for that matter) got to live their lives without the oppressive tyranny of Hydra and the Nazis.

He tore his gaze from the memorials and walked towards the small theater. He sat in the back, not wanting to give anyone a reason to look at him longer than they should.

When Peggy showed up on the screen, he had to bite back a small pained noise. She looked so young like this, even though it was almost 10 years after he’d flown the plane into the ice.

“That was a difficult winter. A blizzard had trapped half our battalion behind the German lines. Steve- Captain Rogers- he fought his way through a Hydra blockade that had pinned our allies down for months. He saved over a thousand men, including the man who would, uh- who would become my husband, as it turned out. Even after he died he was still changing my life.”

Steve stared at the screen long after Peggy had stopped talking. He sat through the old propaganda short movies without really seeing them. It was only when he heard (Y/N)’s voice that he refocused on the present, eyes fixated on the shaky, fuzzy video projected in front of him.

“Is it rolling?” she asked, staring at the person behind the camera.

“I dunno, you built the darn thing,” said a slightly annoyed voice. It wasn’t until he’d heard Bucky speak that he realized he’d almost forgotten what he really sounded like.

(Y/N) smiled cheekily and Steve nearly smiled with her. It was that mischievous smile that meant she was about to crack a joke, often at Bucky’s expense.

Bucky headed that idea off at the pass, though. “Don’t you dare, Doll. You’re on camera and wastin’ time,” said Bucky, still out of frame.

“It’s my machine and my film, I’ll do what I please,” she said somewhat petulantly, holding her hand out to Bucky. There was a small noise that could almost be mistaken for static or wind, but Steve recognized it as a huff of laughter. He came into view a second later and sat down on the couch beside her, grinning broadly despite their almost-bickering. “Say hi,” she ordered good-naturedly.

“Hi Ma, Pa,” Bucky said, ducking his head a bit. He was such a Mama’s boy. “This is my wife, (Y/N).” There was a pause where Bucky obviously didn’t quite know what to say yet and looked to her for support.

She smiled and threaded her fingers in his and Steve was reminded how stupidly in-love they were. “I know this isn’t exactly a normal way of sayin’ hello, but I know you only have pictures of me and I don’t know how long it’ll be ‘til we get back. I wanted to give you something you could watch. I also thought you might like seein’ your son alive and kickin’,” she said, nudging Bucky’s shoulder playfully with hers.

Bucky rolled his eyes, but the effect was slightly ruined by the puppy-love look in his gaze. “And I keep tellin’ her she’s a worrywart. Things are goin’ great out here, promise. Between my girl and Steve, we’ll be home before next Christmas.”

“Steve, Buck, and the rest of the guys just finished clearing out a Hydra base nearby. I know you probably hear it all the time back in the States, but they really are amazin’. They liberated seventy-six prisoners. Wrecked half my gear doin’ it, though,” she said giving Bucky a look that would have been angry if it weren’t for the affection lining her every feature.

Bucky just smiled and kissed the side of her head loudly. “Ah, you don’t mind, Doll. It means you have something to do!” he said cheekily.

She tried and failed to look anything but pleased and turned her attention back to the camera. “I hear you make a delicious Christmas ham, Mrs. Barnes-”

“She told you to call her Mom,” Bucky reminded her gently, his thumb rubbing circles into the back of her hand.

She looked a little embarrassed and glanced away from the screen before sitting up a little straighter, that look of determination Steve knew so well glinting in her eyes. “I hear you make a delicious Christmas ham, Mom. I can’t wait to try it.”

Bucky grinned down at her, threw an arm over her shoulder, and reeled her into his side. “You gotta make enough for Steve now too, though. He eats his weight in food every day. It’s ridiculous.”

“What are you two doing?” He heard his own voice off screen.

She scrambled off the couch and practically vaulted to the recording machine. “GottagoloveyouMomandDadBuckyandIwillseeyousooncan’twaittobehomebye!”

And just like that the video ended. The screen turned black and the next video played, back to the clips of war propaganda, Captain America cartoons, and the occasional recording of Peggy, Howard Stark or Colonel Phillips.

Steve got up wordlessly from his seat in the back, his poor pamphlet crushed to a pulp in his hand.

Next Chapter

If you’d like to be tagged in this series, like this post! Sorry, but responses to this post asking to be tagged will be ignored, so send me an ask or like one of the taglist posts!

☕ Buy Me a Coffee! ☕

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #Winter Soldier #winter soldier x reader #steve rogers #captain america #steeb #captain america: the winter soldier #winter's war #ghosts of war

324 notes · View notes

ugh-supersoldiers · 7 years

Text

Under Oath - Part Two

Under Oath Masterlist

Characters: Bucky x reader, Steve Rogers (mentioned), Tony Stark (mentioned)

Summary: The people called for justice, the state answered. The trial of State v. Barnes is set to begin, and the odds are most certainly not in favor of the not so beloved ex Winter Soldier. That’s where you come in, the quick, smart, and all too brave lawyer set on defending and saving one Bucky Barnes from legal prosecution. The only problem? He’s not so sure he’s worth saving at all.

Warnings: Swearing, allusions to self harm (seriously just an allusion, but if this triggers you please don’t read), Bucky sort of being an asshole, guilt ridden!Bucky once again sorry, slow burn

Words: 2009

A/N: Second paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart yaaaalllll!!!!!!! I’m so excited to see how this fic takes off! It’s by far the most effort I’ve put into writing anything and I’m enjoying it so effing much you guys I can’t even. Anyway as always please please please REBLOG THIS AND LEAVE ME FEEDBACK. It helps so much and I love hearing from you <3

Bucky hated sitting for too long. It made him anxious.

He’d been sitting firmly on his ass for a good hour after you had left to work out whatever it was that needed legal “working out”.

You’d said it would only take a few minutes, and Bucky was not in a patient enough mood to let this one slide.

He’d been left to his own devices after Steve had followed Tony out the door, no doubt going to express his distaste for the entire situation.

Well, Bucky wasn’t too pleased either.

Steve had assured him of many things before he’d chased Stark down. He said that he’d testify on Bucky’s behalf, that he would ensure Bucky would never had to take the stand himself. Bucky wouldn’t admit it, but he was as grateful as anything that he wouldn’t have to testify. The idea made him sick to his stomach.

And yet, wasn’t the impending trial that bothered him the most, or the fact that he’d been granted the one attorney who seemingly refused to give up. It was the fact that it had taken the world this long to get his ass into this mess.

Surely people hated him. They must! How could they not?

The Winter Soldier had been credited with hundreds of assassinations over his lifetime, so why the hell did they just detain him now? It only proved to him just how cruel the world truly was.

Seemingly, the universe had watched and waited for him to get just about as settled and content as he had been since the day he left for war seventy years ago, only to rip the rug out from under his feet and watch him hit the floor in a violent crash.

He ran a nervous hand through his hair, tugging at the strands in pure distress. This was hell in its purest and most torturous form he decided, because he knew that he deserved this punishment.

He glanced at the clock that hung on the wall dead ahead of him. He’d stared at it for a good while earlier, but got tired of it after about the tenth or so minute. The second hand was broken, constantly bouncing in between six and seven. It would touch six, fly up to seven, and descend down again only to repeat the very same cycle over and over and over again.

Bucky hated that stupid fucking clock.

Just as he was certain he was going to punch his fist through the clock’s face in an attempt to displace his apathy, he heard the door open.

His anger subsided for a moment, expecting to see Steve walk back in the door with some story about how Stark did something that got on his nerves in an effort to get Bucky’s mind off of the current situation.

Steve did that often, he thought distractions made Bucky’s thoughts quieter. They didn’t, but Bucky liked the way the lines in Steve’s forehead went away when he pretended to be completely enamored with whatever was brought to the table in an effort to distract him.

But of course with Bucky’s luck, it wasn’t Steve who came through the door; it was you.

“Fuckin’ great.” Bucky mumbled under his breath as he saw you from his peripheral.

You heard this of course, but didn’t acknowledge it.

“I’m sorry that took so long,” You said, “It seems there was a brief misunderstanding between myself and-”

“Yeah, that’s great. Can you just tell me what it is you want from me?”

Bucky tore his eyes away from the clock finally to look at your face. He watched your mouth settle into a hard line. It wasn’t quite a frown, but it was getting there.

“Am I allowed to finish, Mr. Barnes?”

The tone of your voice caught Bucky off guard. You’d certainly been direct earlier, but this was more of a command than a question. Bucky merely huffed it reply.

He hated that he was being so rude to you, he really did, but he didn’t know what the hell else to do. He was ruining your career with every passing second and he hated himself more than he already did for it.

“The misunderstanding on my part was that I assumed you would be tried under the state of New York,” You said, grabbing a chair that lay strewn over in the corner of the room and sitting in it facing him, “But it will be Virginia law instead due to the events just before the fall of Hydra.”

“And that took you an hour to figure out?” He asked.

“No, Mr. Barnes, it most certainly didn’t take me an hour to figure out that a different state would be prosecuting you.” You said, a smile small on your lips as you placed the ever present file you’d been carrying around on your lap.

Now Bucky was slightly annoyed. He was being an absolute dick to you and you were being so understanding with him. Not a frown, or even a lip twitch in a downward direction was evident on your face. He felt like a child throwing a tantrum but getting no attention in return.

“What’s so enticing about Virginia then, Ms. (Y/L/N)?”

“New York officially revoked any and all types of capital punishment from its legislation in 2007,” You explained, “Virginia still has that in place. What took me an hour to figure out was how to get the death penalty off the table.”

His eyes narrowed as he attempted to cover up his shock, “And why the hell would you do that, dollface?”

In his lifetime, Bucky Barnes had used a variety of different pet names when speaking to a woman, but this time it was far from affectionate.

“That’s easy,” You said, “ Because you don’t deserve to die.”

Bucky couldn’t help the snort that came out of his mouth. How in the world could you believe that? Why would you spend so much time and effort trying to ensure that the Winter Soldier didn’t end up on a table with a lethal cocktail running through his veins speeding straight to his heart.

“There’s a catch, however.”

He almost detected a faint hesitation in your voice as you spoke. Almost.

“Well, don’t leave me hangin’.” He taunted.

“I made sure you wouldn’t rot for years in prison while you wait for Virginia to off you,” You breathed, sinking in the chair as if the words you held in your mouth weighed you further down into the seat, “...But in return, you have to provide a testimony.”

His jaw clenched tightly, so tightly that he felt pain radiate upwards through his mandible until it became so intense that he worried he might break a tooth. His right palm was getting clammier by the second as his breathing became quicker.

The loud thump of his heart hammering in his chest cued him in to the fact that he was in serious danger of another panic attack.

Stop, he reasoned with himself, fucking stop...

His knee bounced feverishly as the silence that enveloped the two of you now settled uncomfortably in the air. He planted his foot to stop the movement, and promptly reached his hand over to his thigh, pressing his pointer finger and thumb into a hard pinch on the flesh.

This was a less than savory method of calming an attack, but the pain was distracting enough that he had to focus on it. The therapist that Bucky was mandated to see every week said that self harm - in even its most mild forms - was never a beneficial way to reduce panic but Bucky Barnes wasn’t a man concerned with process; he was a man concerned with the end result. Besides, he’d done much worse to himself over the years than an almost harmless pinch.

“Mr. Barnes?”

Bucky heard your voice, but he was somewhere else entirely. He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath that he knew came out far too shaky to be viewed as normal by any measure.

He pinched harder, surely bruising the skin beneath the leg of his pants but it was working. He could feel his heart gradually slow, the pounding in his ears being replaced by the godawful ticking of that stupid fucking clock.

He didn’t think he’d ever be grateful to hear that again.

“Would you like a glass of water, Mr. Barnes?”

When Bucky opened his eyes again to see you right in front of him, kneeling.

He saw it just for a moment before it disappeared, but he swore he saw genuine concern in your eyes before it flickered into nothing when he opened his mouth.

“Call me Bucky, for fucks sake.”

“Glad to see you’re alright.” You sighed, dropping your gaze and standing up and brushing off your skirt before returning to your chair.

As he watched you walk to the other side of the room, he became uncomfortably aware of how far away you were from him. A longing for closer proximity licked at his nerves and then, like a wave it disappeared into murky water almost as quickly as it appeared.

You placed the file that had been rested on your seat back on your lap before you opened it and aimlessly flipped through the endless paper that was held inside. Bucky knew you weren’t reading any of it.

“I’m sorry to pressure you,” You breathed, avoiding eye contact and remaining firmly cast towards the file, “But I need to give the DA an answer as soon as possible.”

Just as Bucky took another ragged breath, it hit him.

He needed to take the stand.

“I’ll do it.” He croaked, making your head snap up quickly.

He knew he’d shocked you with his answer. He’d given you every reason to believe that he would want the possibility of punishment to the full extent of the law. He’d lead you to believe that he wanted to give up, so why would he go through the hell of testifying to secure the exact opposite of what he wanted?

Bucky could see your eyes flickering back and forth between his, searching for an answer that he gave no tell to. He’d been trained to be unreadable, after all.

He was certain you were concocting some sort of version of events in that head of yours. How could you not be? Everything you’d said and done so far had radiated impressive intuition.

Was it Steve? Bucky imagined you’d think it was the thought of Steve that changed his mind. Or maybe he’d changed his own mind? Perhaps you were convinced that Bucky’d done a complete 180 and, when faced with his own mortality, chose to give it a fighting chance.

Neither of these theories, although commendable, were the true reason of course.

The true reason was that death would be mindless and simple. If there was one thing in this world Bucky knew he didn’t deserve, it was the easy way out. He deserved to sit in that cell and rot, tortured day and night by the images of what he’d done.

He saw your mouth open, then shut in tandem with the manila file in your hands. You nodded, a small but triumphant smile graced your lips. You were probably thinking that you’d somehow won the prominant pissing match the two of you had seemingly been engaged in. You had played right into Bucky’s winning hand.

Bucky’s eyes wandered yet again to the clock on the wall in front of him as he heard the opening door and the clicking of your heels against the hardwood flooring outside as they slowly reduced in volume until the door clicked closed again.

He stared at the face of clock that he’d hated so dearly earlier, he listened to the ticking that he’d once sworn would drive anyone mad and tried to find that same feeling of dissonance that he’d been so content in before, but he failed. The ticking now sourced a certain comfort that left a bittersweet taste on his tongue.

He couldn’t help but notice as he stared at the clock that the second hand that had once been stuck between six and seven had now moved onto eight and nine.

771 notes · View notes