#let traumatized grandma and anxious protective granddaughter comfort each other

[yellowcry]

Fear in the night

After a bad dream, Alma decided to go outside for some fresh air. It turns out that she wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep well tonight.

Alma slowly stood up in the quiet water of the river, walking forward. Everything was pretty blurry as she rushed forward with only one thought. They had to get away. She saw the terrified look on her family's faces but didn't stop. It doesn't matter right now; the main thing is to go somewhere safe. The red moon glittered ominously in the sky. Alma witnessed dark shadows of people but couldn't actually see anyone.

 

"Mamíta!" Bruno let out a suffocating gasp, and Alma winced, also jumping in fear, as she looked somewhere where she heard a voice. Her hijo was standing there, frozen. A dark, twisted hand that looked like a chicken paw grabbed him, pulling him away.

 

"Bruno!" Alma screamed, now running to her son. A sable metal blade flashed in the air only for a second before falling right into her child, painting everything red.

 

Darkness surrounded them. Alma felt like shadows bent her down, pressing on her shoulders. 

 

"Mamá, don't leave us!" Her children's voices melted together. Alma attempted to look up, but everything was so blurry. The figures in the shadiness kept changing repeatedly, from ginger hair to black, from brown eyes to green. 

 

Alma opened her mouth, wanting to scream, but she couldn't make a sound. It's like she was underwater, and attempting to speak just made her have water in her lungs. 

 

She saw her family's outlines in the flickering moonlight; people were falling to the ground as rapiers hit them. The air was full of a bloody smell. Alma's guts twisted as she tried to close her eyes tightly, but then the screams around her became louder and louder.

 

"Abuela, help!"

 

"I'm scared!"

 

"Why didn't you help us?"

 

Everything was red. Alma wheezed, looking at her hands covered in blood. Why did it happen? E-everything was fine yesterday! Probably. Now all she could see were pictures of her dying family. Soldiers found them, and now everything that Alma tried to prevent for fifty years has happened. Her kids are now lying in her hands as breathless newborns. But somehow her grandchildren were still there, begging for help. There were only two colors: gray shadows and red from all the violence. The blood that she swore to never spill anymore. But now the water under her feet was red. Alma felt like she was drowning; a wave swept over her, pushing her down.

 

 

 

****

 

Alma woke up with a terrified gasp, clutching to her chest. Her heart kept beating like crazy for over a minute as she gazed at the clock. Two AM. She took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Everything was fine. Nobody was dying. Nothing happened. 

 

But memories of the nightmare inside her head were still too fresh. The boiling blood in her ears was still too loud. Alma wasn't even sure, why she had a nightmare. It was over fifty years ago; everything is fine now. Still, her heart missed a bit when she thought about the cracks in the cliffs. Alma knew that now was a different time; right now, there wasn't any war that could take the life of someone important to her. They even visited Alma's home village not so long ago. But the images of bleeding shadows still flickered in her mind, almost mockingly. A dark reminder of what might happen in the future.

 

"I need some fresh air," Alma muttered to herself while carefully shooting her blanket. She looked out of the window, and the shutters wobbled a little. Yes, some time to think outside would be good.

 

 

Alma winced in stunner as she realized that she wasn't the only one who was sleepless in the middle of the night. There, on the bench in front of Guzman's house, sat Luisa, clearly distinguished by her big figure. Her loose curls were falling on her shoulders, making her look like some beautiful muse from ancient Greek myths in the weak moonlight. She looked at the cracks in the mountains, almost frozen, breathless.

 

"Luisa?" Alma's nieta fluttered at her voice. "Why are you awake?" She came up behind her, looking at the young woman worriedly. Luisa shrugged her shoulders, slightly crouching over.

 

Alma saw how Luisa pursed her lips unsurely as she sat next to her. "Abuela, why are YOU awake?" She finally asked back, keeping looking into the distance with an impenetrable facial expression, pursing her upper lip, her eyes looked like she wasn't here right now. Not mentally. She clasped her hands, respiring heavily.

 

Some parts of Alma wanted to scold Luisa for answering a question with a question, while others wanted to say that everything was fine. But her inability to speak about her feelings was the thing that led them all to lose their gifts. To almost losing one of her grandkids. So Alma took a deep breath, also looking at the mountains. "I had a nightmare." She whispered, breaking the heavy, tense silence in the air. 

 

Luisa made a surprised sound and finally turned to see Alma. Her face was so shocked as if she couldn't believe that her abuela might have nightmares. Then she bit her lip, taking a calm breath. "Me too." She sighed harshly, leaning back on the bench, looking at the broken mountain again, and crossing her arms over her chest.

 

Alma wanted to ask what Luisa dreamed about, but she knew that forcing somebody to talk about it was a bad idea. So, instead, she kept studying a severe crack far away, trying not to think about what could happen if something went wrong. As she saw with her side eye, Luisa did the same, staring at the rift almost without blinking. She looked like a cornered animal, ready to attack at any moment. And Alma probably wasn't any better, baring her teeth from a mix of anger for the monsters in her dream and fear for the family, chin tucked in.

 

There was a heavy, awkward silence for a few minutes, interrupted only by a light breeze. The air was wet; judging by the clouds in the sky, it might rain in the morning. Without Pepa's powers, they all had to get used to the equatorial climate. The stars were shining in the night sky, breaking through the cold fog of the night. The crack looked scary, almost ominously, as if it were laughing, "You don't know what might be behind me." Alma didn't want to know the dark thing—all the bad people that now had a way into the Encanto. But her memories of this awful dream were still too fresh. A vision of lifeless bodies kept appearing in her mind. Of what could happen if something went wrong.

 

"Is it..." Luisa hesitated, finally speaking again, hunching over. "Is it strange that I'm afraid that something bad might happen because of crack?" She asked unsurely, making Alma stare in surprise as she finally got distracted from contemplation of the mountain and looked at her nieta again, trying to proceed with what she just heard. Luisa looked at her hands, clutching them into fists. "L-like with Abuelo Pedro?" She sighed heavily, closing her eyes. "I know that... Every person from the outside world that we met was very nice, but..." She stopped in the middle of the sentence, not sure what to say next.

 

Alma couldn't hold back a surprised giggle, which wasn't left unnoticed by Luisa, who looked away in embarrassment, probably thinking that she just acts stupid. "Lo siento, I didn't mean to laugh at you." Alma immediately assured her. "It's just..." She pursed her lips. Talking about her feelings was hard. Throwing all those years of pain outside was barely pleasing, but Alma allowed these inner scars to be cooked way longer than they were supposed to. "That's what happened in my nightmare." She explained with a harsh breath, looking up at the cloudy sky, wondering if Pedro was looking at them right now. But, knowing that she wasn't the only one who couldn't keep calm because of senseless thoughts was a little bit reassuring.

 

"And in mine too." Luisa breathed out even if it was completely unnecessary because of her last sentences, and Alma was pretty sure that her nieta knew it too, clarifying it more for herself than for anyone else. Alma clunked her palms together, looking at Luisa, thinking that the two of them might have way more in common than she thought before. She never paid Luisa much attention, especially compared to her sisters. Isabela had the privilege of being the favorite grandchild, spending most of the time with Alma and, pretty much, overshadowing all the other kids in the house, including her hermanitas. But if Mirabel was desperately trying to get Alma's attention, always working around the Casita, asking her for credit over many things like needlework on her skirt or the new song for the town kids, even if it rarely was anything more than a simple 'good job' told just for politeness until Alma would return to her business. And Luisa did the same, except for the fact that she never asked for any sort of attention directly. Just working hard, desperately trying to be noticed, to earn some sort of prosperity. Yes, it was pretty easy to overlook Luisa, despite the fact that she was the largest person in the whole Encanto. It just felt like she was very small. The curse of the middle child, isn't it?

 

 

"I don't even have my gift anymore." Luisa murmured gloomily. "I won't be able to help if something bad happens." She winced, once again looking somewhere far away with a strange, abnormal sadness printed in her bones as if she were way older than she was supposed to be, making her abuela worriedly sick. Luisa shouldn't be worried about anything like that; it wasn't her business or something she was obliged to do.

 

Alma shook her head unhappily, speaking to her nieta. "Protecting this family is not your job." She should've said it ages ago, but instead, she placed the need to keep everyone safe on the kid's shoulders. Maybe if it weren't for Alma's own issues, Luisa wouldn't be sitting here right now, fretting just like she was. 

 

"It's not your job either." Luisa chuckled, shrugging slightly. Alma let out a weak laugh. Okay, Luisa got her here. It wasn't a job for anyone but for the whole family together. Even if asking somebody for help was scary and hard. But she used to rule alone, throwing away all worries to keep others safe, so asking anyone for help was unusual and very strange, like breaking some unsaid rule.

 

 "Fair enough, I think we both just got used to it." Alma sighed, and little smiling sprinkles appeared in her nieta's eyes. Alma was putting her problems away for the sake of her people, hoping that this pain over Pedro and her fear of repeating history would just go away. And her nieta used to be the one who could handle anything, no matter how hard it was. 

 

 

"I mean, I want to make sure that you all are safe." Luisa's tone became serious as she looked at the crack again. And something on her face just told Alma that if something bad really happened, if there was even the smallest threat, then Luisa would move mountains even without her gift, just to protect them. And for a moment, Alma saw a five-year-old who was sobbing in her white party dress, scared that somebody might take her family, just like they took her Abuelo years ago. The girl who promised to protect her family at the moment she earned her gift Alma wondered if this willingness to keep everyone safe was the reason why Luisa's gift was super strength. To make sure she was strong enough to save them all. People mostly assumed that it was due to her love for physical activity, but maybe there was more behind it.

 

"Thank you.." Alma whispered. "Luisa, you're the strongest person I know, even without your gift." Her nieta had a strong willingness to protect her family. Maybe a little too strong. She had already sacrificed herself for fourteen years for the community, letting go of her childhood for hard work. And if self-sacrifice was a generic family trait... Alma hoped that it wasn't, even if something in Luisa screamed that she would do the same thing as Pedro if it meant keeping everyone safe.

 

Luisa shook her head, clutching her hands in front of her chest. "I'm not strong." She chuckled a little, making Alma wince in surprise. "I would never live through losing someone I love." She scrutinized at Alma softly, even adoringly.

 

"I didn't do it either." Alma sighed. She had been mourning for many years, even if she hid this burning pain inside her chest, promising to stay with the one who could hold them together. Because she thought that she didn't have time to cry over something that couldn't be changed. Pedro was gone, and admitting it made her heartache. Thinking about how he never managed to meet his own kids was painful. For a moment, the wind became stronger, messing up their hair. Alma's white hair hit her spine. 

 

Luisa smiled, gently placing her big palm on Alma's hand as she threw her hair back. "Still, you managed to build this community out of nothing." Luisa squinted her eyes, there was some kind of pride inside them, destined for somebody really important. "I would never be able to do something like that." She looked down with a harsh sigh. 

 

Both of them stared at the rift again, not sure what to say next. Because the problem still remained. They were open to the outside world, which could be beautiful but also very dangerous. The shiny darkness inside the crack made Alma's guts twitch as she thought about everything that could be behind it right now.

 

"But what will you do if something really happens?" Luisa bit her lip, tucking a strand behind her ear, running the curly hair between her fingers, finally speaking about an unsaid problem. Truth be told, that's worth worrying about—the reason why Alma couldn't just ignore those nightmares.

 

Alma looked behind them at the house where the whole family was currently sleeping; she really hoped that everyone else had sweet dreams. Two nightmares were more than enough. "I'd like to say that I would discuss it with everyone and make some kind of plan..." She moaned, leaning back on the bench, trying to be honest, more for herself, and because now, sitting in the darkness of night, Alma realized that Luisa would never judge her for the truth, not when she was as worried as Alma is. "But I don't think that I ever would be able to out anyone, even at the slightest risk." Even the smallest thought that anyone could be hurt made her shrink in fear.

 

Luisa scratched the back of her head, lost in thoughts for some time. "Maybe I could delay the danger for some time." She put her head in her hands, and her hair was thrown behind the bench. "I still have my muscles." And she tensed her arms, showing her powerful hands earned by years of hard work.

 

"You don't have to." Alma assured her immediately, the last thing they needed was to return to their old habits and put a burden on just one person. It wasn't Luisa's job, and Alma really meant it. Luisa should run with everyone and stay safe, not risking herself for the sake of anyone else.

 

"I want to." Alma knew that it was true. Because something in Luisa said that she would do anything if it meant protecting them. She would give anything for it, even her own life. It was the same confident look that Pedro had at the moment when soldiers reached for them. If Mirabel got his optimistic outlook, then Luisa totally earned his endless love for the people that were important to her. Something, that made Alma shrink in fear of knowledge of what might happen if something would really go wrong.

 

"I know." Alma sighed hard, snuggling up to her granddaughter. "But this family doesn't need another Pedro."

 

They had enough trauma over one dead member. Alma would never be able to live with herself if her grandchild died. She remembered how scared she was, almost forgetting how to breathe, at the moment when Bruno's tower fell on Mirabel. When Alma only imagined what could happen to her little girl, whom she had abandoned for years. 

 

Luisa didn't say anything about it; she just shook her head, looking at the ground. The warm equatorial air was lying on their spines. The trees rustled far away as the wind played with their leaves. The bright stars in the clear sports in the sky shone somewhere far away from here.

 

"It's just so much to take in." Luisa fetched out a breath. "At first, my gift disappeared." She looked at her hands, clutching them into the fists on her knees. "Now we're open to the outside world." She hesitated for a moment. "Maybe I'm just overthinking." Luisa shook her head, giggling a little.

 

"I'm the last person who could blame you for it." Alma chuckled, thinking about how she came here because of her own worries. Yes, saying anything to be worried about nothing was total duplicity.

 

They became silent for a while again. The broken mountain stopped looking so terrifying. Still, the darkness between the edges of the crack sent an awful, twisted feeling of worry down her spine.

 

"I hope that everything will be fine." Luisa sighed as she put her head on Alma's shoulder, making her wince in surprise.

 

"I do too." Alma placed her hand on her nieta's spine, slightly patting her.

 

Hope was the best thing they could afford right now. After all, no one could see that the future was holding—not anymore. Even if Alma knew that her fears were mostly irrational, forced by old scars on her soul that would never heal properly. Still, it was hard to feel unsafe with Luisa around. Part of Alma wanted to slap herself, reminding herself that placing a burden of protection on Luisa wasn't fair; it wasn't her job or something she had to do. But again, her determined face said that Luisa would protect her family without any hesitation, not because she was forced to, but because she wanted to keep everyone safe because her heart was big and warm, ready to keep beating for her family. But the fear that this heart might go too far, willing to help them at any cost, was awful.

 

Alma winced as she realized that Luisa stared to sneeze on her shoulder, finally falling asleep. She chuckled, slightly ruffling her nieta's hair. "Have sweet dreams, Luisa," Alma whispered in the air with a soft smile, leaning her head on Luisa's. At least now they were safe. Her granddaughter deserved some good sleep after thinking about what might happen if she didn't manage to save anybody, despite the fact that she never had to be the one who should protect anyone more than a normal human. "Tomorrow is another day." Alma yawned, closing her eyes. 

 

Everything was fine. They were safe. She couldn't say that she wasn't terrified by the thought that something might go wrong. But for now, they were okay. No one was going to repeat Pedro's fate of disappearing in the cold water. There wasn't a smell of burning houses or fresh blood. And maybe, for now, things are quite okay.

 

***

None of them had a nightmare this time. Even if, in the morning, both Alma and Luisa would laugh embarrassedly over the photo of the two of them sleeping together on the bench.