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ketso · 1 year

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Episode 4

"Mama, is daddy fetching us at the big taxi rank?" My daughter asks me. She's six.

"Yes baby, he will be there to fetch us when we arrive." I say.

“I like it at granny’s house. Daddy scares me sometimes.” She says.

I take a deep breath because I genuinely don’t know how to respond to that. Her dad scares me too. All the time. When he beats me up, when he rapes me and when he makes me watch him have sex with other women in front of me. He used to do all these things when my kids were not around. But now, he doesn’t care. He does it whether they are there or not.

My son is sleeping on my chest.

We've just come back from my home, Tholoana Kingdom. My older sister was having a birthday party for one of her children. I was reminded, yet again, that I have two children and am unmarried. She has four and she is unmarried. I don’t know why the big deal is made out of my situation. My boyfriend has never even been to my home, so my family doesn't know him. So my mother made sure that my kids have my surname - Letuka.

Their father, i.e. my boyfriend, is obviously not happy at all about his kids having the Letuka surname. He's never happy about anything. He's a nice guy when he's sober. But he's drunk 85% of the time and he honestly makes our life so hard when he gets that way.

We live in ama-room in Soweto. We have nice neighbours. There's Wandisa who is living with her mother that's just come out of jail. She has a rich boyfriend that’s also a youth pastor. They keep telling me that I'm in an abusive relationship and I should go to the church's safe house.

Then there's Basetsana. She was supposed to be someone's surrogate, but now the parents have ditched her and she must see what she does with this child. It's bad. One of the guys who lives in one of the backrooms is in love with Bassie, so he's appointed himself as the child's father. I feel bad for him. Bassie likes the finer things in life and he's just a miner. It will take one rich man to shatter all of his dreams and I'm scared he will kill himself when that day comes.

We arrive at the MTN taxi rank and we see Brian already waiting for us. Brian is Ndebele from Bulawayo. He is here with that Gold 4 GTI of his that I hate with all of my heart.

We climb off the taxi. I put my son, Tshenolo, on my back and wrap him with a towel. Then I hold our traveling bag with one hand, and my daughter in my other hand. Her name is Mosetsana. My mom named both my kids. Brian hates that the names he wanted for our kids appear nowhere on their birth certificates. I keep telling him that he must go to Tholoana Kingdom and pay damages. He says he didn't rape me. So we are here.

"There are my favourite people! I've missed you guys so much." He says as he sees us.

Mosetsana runs to her dad and he picks her up, spins her around in the air, and has her laughing a lot. Then I get to him.

"Hello baby", he greets me as he kisses me.

"Hey love. How are you?" Me.

"I'm good." Him.

Notice how he didn't ask me how I am...

Or take this heavy bag from me. He just takes his son off my back and puts him in the car.

I put the bag in the boot then sit in the front with him.

"How was the kingdom? How is your family?" He asks me.

"All is well. They just keep asking when they are meeting you and when we are getting married." I say.

His body tenses and his mood changes. He pulls a beer cort from under his seat, opens the lid with his teeth and starts drinking. I look at my kids and I see Mosetsana already rolling her eyes. We already know that this is going to be a long night.

"So where does your family think I get money from?" He asks me.

"They were just asking, Brian", I say.

"Well, they mustn't ask shit. I don't have money. I don't even have enough money to cheat on you. Where must I find money to marry you?" He says to me.

"The same place you find money to buy alcohol." I say.

"What?! What the fuck did you just say?!"

He's angry now.

He clicks his tongue.

The rest of the car ride is silent.

We get to our place. He offloads the kids and I offload our luggage. When I get into the house, I see that he bought us pizza. Mosetsana and Tshenolo are actually happy. I'm not even hungry. The three of them eat from the box as I unpack our bag and charge my phone. I want an early night so that I can be on time for work. Wandisa got me an admin job at her dad's offices and I take it very seriously. Her dad is always trying to sleep with me, but out of respect for Wandi... I'd just never go there.

Our back room is divided into three by curtains. There's one double bed in one section where Mosetsana sleeps. There's a double bed in another section where Brian, Tshenolo and I sleep. We have one long couch in here and a small TV. My kids actually go to Wandi's room to watch their shows because they like her room and TV better. Wandi bought them an iPad which they are obsessed with. Brian does not like Wandi at all. She's such a nice lady. Senzi's family doesn't like her. They think she's not good enough to be a pastor's wife. But she has such a beautiful heart. My kids attend creche and school at the church. They have a school there. Not everyone pays fees. My kids are on some programme where they attend school there for free. In return, I help the church by working at all their open days. They are nice people, but I don't like how they treat Wandi.

"Ey", Brian says to me.

I look at him.

"I'm stepping out. I'll be back tomorrow after work." He says.

It's 9pm. Where is he going? And didn't he say he doesn't have enough money to cheat on me?

"Okay." I say.

He's gone.

Mxm!

I don't know why it's never come to me to leave this guy.

Ay!

I just bath my kids and get them into bed. Today, I actually take Tshenolo with me and we sleep with Mosetsana on her bed. I just want my kids close to me tonight.

I hear hectic noises.

"UYANGILIMAZA WENA!" I hear someone scream.

I wake up.

This is in my house.

"VOETSEK WENA! I BOUGHT YOU ALCOHOL ALL NIGHT. HOW DID YOU THINK THIS WOULD END?!' That's Brian's voice.

And they are inside this house.

"BRIAN!" The girl screams.

He's making pleasure noises. He's raping her?!

"SHUT UP! YOU WILL WAKE UP MY WIFE AND KIDS!" He shouts.

I look at my kids. They are still asleep.

"If you don't stop making a noise, I'll kill you." Brian says to her.

I hear her muffled cries.

She's in so much pain.

And I'm just as scared to help her.

He usually does this to me. He comes home late and drunk, wakes me up and rapes me too. Today is not the first time that he has brought someone else inside this room and slept with her - let alone raped her.

This is so painful to listen to. So painful.

I hear this girl screaming into a pillow. Brian is calling her all kinds of sluts as he relieves himself inside of her.

My body shivers.

What if he does this to Mosetsana one day?

Yoh Modimo Waka.

This guy!

They finally finish... well, he finishes. Then he says to her, "Phuma la! You can walk home!"

Bathung!

She's crying. She's hysterical.

"Why are you bleeding all over my sheets wena? Because I know you are not a virgin! How must I explain this to my wife and kids? Take these sheets with you! Voetsek!"

What's wrong with Brian?

"Brian, you hurt me. I can't walk." She says through her sobs.

"EY WENA! PHUMA LA! VOETSEK!" Brian.

Somehow, the poor girl manages to find her way to the door. As she steps outside, she yells, "NGISIZENI BO! NGIYACELA!"

Brian moves so fast.

He's outside in a flash.

"WENZANI WENA?! WENZANI?!" Brian.

"NGISIZENI! UZONGIBULALA!" The girl keeps yelling.

I hear doors opening now.

I hear commotion.

I check my kids again.

They are fast asleep.

I'm even embarrassed to go out there.

Now, I hear hectic commotion. It sounds like Brian is being dragged outside the gate and mob justice is about to solve him.

"Morafe?!" I hear Wandi's voice.

I step out of our curtain.

She sees my face covered in tears.

"You need to come with me. Please. He's been doing this all weekend while you were away. A girl died in here on Friday." Wandi says to me.

I just cry.

"Something is wrong with this guy." I say.

Her mom comes into my room. She and Bassie start packing our stuff.

"Woza mntanam. Asambe", Wandi's mom keeps saying.

Bassie wakes my kids up.

Mosetsana is tired and confused. Tshenolo is crying.

"Morafe, are you leaving me?! You are not going anywhere with my kids!" Brian says.

He looks beaten up but still strong.

"Uzokwenzani?! Uzokwenzani?!" Wandi's mom says.

"Come Morafe", Wandi.

"Ey Nina!" Brian says and pushes all three of us. We all fall. Bassie just had a c-section to deliver her baby. Her baby is still in hospital. She’s probably still stitched up. She starts experiencing pains.

"Usashaya abafazi wena?!" Cops. Thank God!

"Sisi, did he hurt you?" The cop asks me.

I just cry.

I don't even know why I'm crying anymore. I'm just crying.

"Uboshiwe wena, Brian Ncube. Uzobhadla wena ejele. Sesikhathele uwe!" The cops says as they take him away.

"Baby, are you okay?" Senzi asks Wandi. When did he arrive?

"Yeah, we are good. We might need to take Bassie to hospital." Wandi.

"You and mom take Bassie. I'll take Morafe and the kids."

Where are they taking us?

...

It is 5am when we are walked into some one-bedroom apartment. It's a very nice small apartment. It's fully furnished. Tshenolo is in my arms and Mosetsana is holding onto me.

"What is all this, Senzi?" I ask him.

"This space belongs to the church. We bring women and children in here that are victims of abuse. You can stay here as long as you need. It's close to school for the kids. There are groceries stocked in the fridge and cupboards." He explains.

"All this? For free?" I ask him.

He nods his head.

"Senzi, we cannot accept this." I say.

"You can. And you will. He's already been released." He says.

My stomach instantly tightens.

"You are safe here. There are rules. You may not have visitors and you may not use a cellphone here. No iPads neither. The network switches off immediately when you enter this area. But there is twenty-four-hour high end security. You are safe here. Please, get some rest. All three of you. You can come into my office tomorrow and we can talk some more." He says.

He hands me the apartment keys. He leaves.

I lock the door.

Mosetsana and I look at each other.

I walk to the bedroom. It has a three-quarter bed, but there's enough space in the room so I place blankets on the floor as well. I sleep on the floor with Tshenolo then Mosetsana sleeps on the bed.

Surprisingly, we actually pass out very quickly. Even me.

...

"Hai khona Nkosinathi, our daughter is something else. The interesting thing is that she doesn't take after either of us. You and I have never been good people."

He laughs as I say this.

"I also just feel like I don't know her at all. I'm always trying to play catch up with her kodwa she's always someone else by the time I catch up with who she was yesterday", I tell him.

"You are being too hard on yourself, Maphuthi. Wandisa understands that you haven't been around and all she wants is to let you in. She's just as stuck as you are on how to make that possible. So, ask her whatever question you want to ask her. She's an open book. I disappoint her a lot, but she always has room for me... sometimes against her own will. She's not like me and you. She can't be a horrible person even when the situation warrants it. Maybe that pastor of hers has more influence in her life than what we think", he says.

"What do you think about that boy?" I ask him.

"I don't think anything of him. He's just my daughter's boyfriend. I don't care for him until he tells me that he wants to marry her. I've never even met him. Khanya and Khosini tell me about him though. I just think it's funny that Wandisa is going to be umam'fundisi." He says.

We both actually laugh aloud.

"Yini? Wena you don't like him?" He asks me.

"I don't know him well enough. But I just don't have a good feeling about him." I say.

"You need to relax, Maphuthi. Our daughter is a grown woman. The more we tell her to stay away from him, the more attitude she will just give us. So if it's a mistake, let her make it. As long as he doesn't treat her how I treated Thandeka, I'm fine." He says.

That actually hurts me. Wandi and I are a result of how he treated Thandeka.

"Sorry", he says.

I'm glad he senses it through my silence over the phone.

"Do the two of you still talk?" I ask him.

"Yeah. I really want to have a healthy relationship with the mothers of my children. It's important to my kids. That's why I'm even trying with you. I don't want us to be enemies." He says.

"Why though? Your children are all older than eighteen. You don't need us to have a relationship with your children." I say.

"I know. But we share children. Why do we have to have to be enemies?"

"Knowing you, you just want to keep sleeping with us", I say.

He laughs then says, "Both of you are very beautiful women. I'd love to fuck you both all day every day, but right now, I need to make things right and keep things right with the both of you... for my kids. It's important to me."

"Hai cha, ngiyayivuma intombi yakho. She is bringing out a real man inside of you." I say.

"Intombi yami? Awukahle." Him.

"You can't live without the disruptiveness of a woman. So don't tell me you are single."

"I'm sleeping with a few people, but I'm not in anything serious. I'm focusing on my family right now... my kids and their mothers. To be my partner would take a woman who could understand that."

"You are an interesting man, Nkosinathi. You want the impossible from women only for you to just cheat on them and not be loyal."

"Don't say that, Maphuthi. I'm trying here... for you guys..." He says.

"Okay. Well, I hope it works out." Me.

"Yeah. Lalela, I'm having lunch with Thandeka and the boys today. How about tomorrow, we do lunch with Wandi. It will be good for us." He says.

"That would be nice. I'll ask Wandi and let you know later." I say.

"Okay then. Let me attend to my patients. Have a good day okay?"

"Shup."

He hangs up.

Ja neh, the new and improved Nkosinathi.

There's a knock on the door.

I roll out of bed, wear a gown then make my way to the door.

I open the door.

Ay!

What does he want lo?!

"Ja!" Me. I have my prison voice on even.

"Where's my wife and kids?" The nerve of this boy!

"Ulobolile wena? Ushade ngani wena?"

"Mamzo, I don't want problems. I want my family back", he says.

"I can't help you." Me.

We stare at each other. Does he think he's intimidating me?

Wandi and Senzi show up, standing behind him.

He looks behind him.

"Where's Morafe and my children?" He asks Wandi.

"Mxm", Wandi says, pushes him out her way and walks into the room with Senzi.

"Ey wena -

That wrong government that Wandi is always greeting and giving food and money too... the ones that are too scary but Wandi treats like human beings for some reason...

They have their arms around this guy's neck.

I guess they are Wandi's security.

"Didn't we tell you to never come back here wena?" These boys.

"I just want my wife and my kids then I'm gone", he pleads.

"Your wife and kids are there where you left them in Zimbabwe. You leave Morafe alone wena. Or we will kill you. Voetsek!" The guys.

They physically throw him out of the yard. They bring his belongings and throw them out of the yard too.

Where is the owner of these rooms? I'd really love to meet him and just pick his brain on the happenings here. Also, Brian leaving without notice is less money for him. Does he care?

Hai!

I need to get my daughter out of here. This place is not safe!

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