#levi ackerman fafic

[valisi-clark]

46

46. Share a scene of a story that you haven’t published yet. 

Thank you for the ask! This scene is from the Vespers series that I haven’t finished. It’s less than 1,000 words, and I don’t know how I feel about it anymore. 

This takes place after Levi has threatened to break Erwin’s legs. Of course, in the manga, Levi storms off and slams Erwin’s office door. I think this is also the chapter where he listens to Armin talk about his dream to see the ocean (someone correct me if I’m wrong, I’m bad with chapter numbers)? And I headcanon that Levi went back to Erwin to support his dream in some way. To smooth out some of the damage. So, he goes to check on him before bedtime. 

******

Levi opened the door to Erwin’s quarters without knocking. Erwin looked up from his task, a bit surprised. 

“Hey,” Levi said. He shut the doorbehind him and leaned against it. Erwin was sitting at his table,looking uncertain. That’s when Levi noticed that Erwin had a nailfile on the table with his fingernails against it. “What the hell areyou trying to do?” Levi leaned away from the door and walked acrossthe room. The closer he approached Erwin, the more it seemed Erwinwas leaning away from him.

“Levi,” Erwin said, still a bitconfused. Levi picked Erwin’s hand up from the table and looked athis fingernails. Levi glared down at him.

“You’ve fucked them up,” Levimuttered. Erwin’s nails were crooked and pointed in various places.Levi dropped Erwin’s hand and looked around for his chair. It waspushed against a far wall. “And you moved my shit.” Levi walkedcasually over to his favorite armchair and picked it up. It felt heavierthan he remembered, but he carefully moved it across the room untilit was sitting in front of Erwin. Levi sat down, picked up the emeryboard from the table and took Erwin’s hand again. He began working at the ravagednails, trying to square them out. Normally, Erwin would ask him for help with tasks like this. Maybe slamming his office door had been too much. 

Levi could still feel Erwin’s blue eyesheavily staring at him, but he didn’t acknowledge it, as if nothinghad happened.

When Levi had finally smoothed Erwin’snails out, he dropped the file on the table and leaned back in hischair, crossing his arms.

“Check them,” Levi said. Erwinlifted his hand and and checked his fingernails. Despite the damage he had done, Levi had found a way to smooth out the edges. Levi always found a way. Erwin resisted the urge to put his fingers in his mouth and test thenails on the inside of his bottom lip.

“They look better,” Erwin admitted, dropping his hand to his lap.Levi’s gray eyes were watching him intensely. “Thank you,” Erwinoffered, unsure of what Levi wanted.

“You should’ve just asked for help,”Levi said. He noticed that Erwin’s throat bobbed when he swallowed.

“I didn’t expect that you wanted tosee me,” Erwin said. Levi unfolded his arms and rested them on thechair, crossing his legs.

“I was pissed,” Levi said. “But Iget it now.” Erwin tilted his head, eyeing Levi speculatively.

“You understand?” Erwin asked. Levi nodded.The shame settled heavily in Erwin’s stomach. “I’m sorry, Levi,”Erwin said. “I haven’t been completely honest with you for awhile.”

“Then tell me now.” Erwin looked down at his one hand and stared at his smooth fingernails again. In a moment, he lifted his eyes and looked to Levi.

“This dream of mine,” Erwinmuttered. “I’ve never wanted anything so badly. I know that it willlead us to freedom, but I want it for the most selfish reasons.”  

“I disagree,” Levi said flatly.Erwin narrowed his eyes.

“It’s not negotiable, Levi.”

“Erwin, did you ever notice thatpeople continued to have children after we lost Wall Maria?”Erwin’s brows pinched together and his head tilted in curiosity. Leviwas about to make a point.

“Of course they did,” Erwin said.

“Of course they did?” Levi frowned.“Why, Erwin? Why would anyone do that? We lost a hugepercentage of the population within a year, and then the governmentsent another percentage of them on a suicide mission. What saneperson would bring another life into this world when all of that shitwas happening? That’s the most selfish thing anyone could have done.”Erwin shook his head, not understanding.

“Are you saying we should haveprohibited people from procreating?”

“No,” Levi said. “I’m saying thateven something as serious as the possible annihilation of humanity won’tstop people from fucking.” Erwin’s confusion fully changed his facethen. “Even if they were only making more Titan food, they wantedsomething to distract them from how shitty they felt. So, they madesomething they thought would bring them joy. Because people can’tstand to look at the big picture, Erwin.” Levi stopped and clenchedhis teeth for a moment, but then he pressed on. Erwin had to hear the words. “You’ve beenlooking at the big picture for years now, but you’ve finallyexhausted yourself doing that. So, you’ve decided to distractyourself.”

“Levi-”

“Shut up, and listen to what I’msaying,” Levi insisted. “Humanity is still as important to you asit ever was, but it’s alright to want other things.” Erwin liftedhis hand and ran it through his blond hair nervously. “It’s alrightto stop looking at the bigger picture to focus on something you wantfor a little while.” Erwin looked at Levi then.  He knew that Leviwas trying to give him something, and he didn’t understand why.

“Earlier today you were going tobreak my legs to pull me away from it,” Erwin said.

“No,” Levi shook his head. “I wasgoing to break your legs to give you an out.”

“What?”

“If you wanted a reason to say thatyou couldn’t go instead of choosing not to go, I would have given itto you,” Levi said. Erwin’s lips parted and his jaw hung slack.“But it was a trade. So, I’ve come to collect.” Erwin closed hismouth and licked his dry lips.

“What’s the price?”

“Whatever happens out there, even ifit turns out to be nothing you hoped, you have to besatisfied,” Levi said. His gray eyes were heavy lidded then, andErwin had never seen Levi look so mournful. Erwin looked down at thefloor then, and he thought about the price of chasing this dream. Whatif they finally reached the basement and there was nothing? What if he never made it to the basement at all? “Erwin,”Levi muttered. Erwin looked up at him again. “Be satisfied,” Levivoice cracked around the words. The pain under those words hit Erwin squarely in the chest, and he didn’t realize that he was nodding until the look in Levi’s eyes softened. 

Thanks again, anon!

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