#lexosaveus

[phandomphightclub]

Lexxpocalypse Reveal 2: @lexosaveus

Dots was all alone in the Denny’s – Tali had reluctantly left, saying she had some kind of business to take care of, but Dots was pretty sure she was just finding somewhere to hide and cry about Kingdom Hearts 3 again.  Whatever the reason, the Denny’s at 3 am had ominous feel when no one was out fighting in the ring. The Denny’s wasn’t meant to be this quiet.  The only sounds were that of Dots’ footsteps on the dusty floorboards – Tali really needed to get the cleaning staff back in here.  

But that wasn’t Dots’ main concern at the moment.  She’d been pacing for approximately seven hours now, running on only tea brewed from fresh mountain dew to sustain her.  She briefly contemplated using the Denny’s kitchen to whip something up, but she wasn’t in the mood for Shrek-themed cupcakes at the moment, and she was even less in the mood to break her concentration.

Concentration.  Right.  The Lexxes.  The imposters.  The –

The door flung open.  Dots jumped a foot in the air and hissed, yeeting her magnifying glass at the intruder.

“Ow!”  Anri (@heyheyitsstillgay) rubbed their head.  “Dots?  Is that you?  What the heck are you doing in here?”

“What are you doing here?”  Dots challenged in return.  “The Denny’s is closed!  The security system’s supposed to keep any other ghosts out–” She gasped dramatically.  “Unless you’re one of the Lexxes and you hacked the security system!”  She flew up, seizing Anri by the collar.  “Are you one of them?  ARE YOU??”

“Geez, Dots, chill.  I already had the memes ripped out of me last month, I don’t need to molt for another year at least.”  They shook themself free and dusted themself off.  “Besides, I’m not one of the Lexx blogs.  I just ran across Tali on her way out and she said someone might need to keep an eye on you.  In hindsight, I can see why.”

“What?  I didn’t need Tali to send someone to babysit me!  I’m the first employee she hired!  I can take care of myself, I– VORUS!”  She suddenly screeched, jumping a foot back from the window.  Anri glanced outside and burst out laughing.

“That’s just your reflection, hun,” Anri said, gently (so as not to startle her) placing a hand on Dots’ shoulder.  “Vorus isn’t here.”

“I… swear I… nevermind,” Dots murmured.  “Well, if you’re here, you might as well help with the investigation.  Do you have any intel for me?”

“I didn’t wear my best Sherlock meme shirt for nothing,” Anri said with a grin, gesturing to their shirt that read A MURDER, YAY over a demented screenshot of BBC’s Sherlock.  “I’ve got some info on Lexosaveus.  I saw them hanging around my lair in the Nightmare Valley.  Then around the same time, I saw sonicgrl01.”

Dots frowned.  “So you think Lexosavus is sonicgrl01?  Just because you saw them both in a similar place at a similar time?  ...Wait, actually, that’s brilliant!  The imposters can’t keep up the illusion forever, it makes sense that their disguise could crack.  Could you take me to check it out?”

“I would, but…” Anri frowned.  “You look exhausted.  If you fall asleep in the Nightmare Valley – well, it’ll be exactly what it sounds like.  A nightmare.”

“I can–” Dots yawned, “--handle it.  I promise I’ll sleep right after.  Just take me, please!”

Anri shrugged.  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

XXX

The Nightmare Valley wasn’t so bad, Dots thought.  Lots of stars.  A very nice space aesthetic.  Rather peaceful, actually, if you asked her.  Why had Anri been so worried?

“So where did you see–”

“Shhh!”  Anri shushed her before whispering, “You have to be quiet in these parts.  You never know what ghosts you could attract here.”

“Fine, fine,” Dots humored her.  It was Anri’s home, they probably knew better than her in this case.  But flying on in silence was boring.  And… well, a little bit tiring, with nothing to break the monotony of pinprick stars floating by on all sides… like a thousand tiny nightlights… or… or the eyes of a thousand Lexxes…

“They’re watching me,” she muttered, eyes widening.  “They’re here… oh mothman, they’ve found me!  They’re everywhere!”

Two of the eyes glowed bright red and grew larger – flying towards her.  

“Lexovorus!  I’m not – I’m not scared of you!”  Her voice cracked.  The eyes seemed to laugh; a toothy grin split between them.

“You should be.”

The cavernous jaw opened, and –

“Dots!  Dots, wake up!”

What?  What was–

Something whumped Dots upside the head, and everything went black.  When she opened her eyes again,  Anri’s fuzzy silhouette was staring down at her.

“What… what happened?”  Dots mumbled, rubbing her head.

“You fell asleep,” Anri deadpanned.  “Just like I warned you.”

“Oh…” Dots blushed a light purple, her namesake polka dots standing out even more.  “Sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Anri surprisingly apologized.  “I shouldn’t have brought you here. But we’re almost to my lair.  You can rest there.”

Dots nodded, and they continued their flight.  Just before they could reach Anri’s lair though, another figure came into view.

“I didn’t fall asleep again, did I?”  Dots asked, recognizing the ghost as Lexosaveus.  Ironically, the Lexx hadn’t been there to save Dots when she’d needed it.

“Nope.  That’s our target.”  Anri grinned.  “Hey, Saveus!  We’ve got a crisis over here!  Help!”

“Huh?  Wait, but we’re not–”

“LEXOSAVEUS, TO THE RESCUE!”  Saveus intoned dramatically, puffing out their chest and flying over.  Their cape billowed out in the nonexistent wind. “WHAT IS YOUR AILMENT, MORTALS?”

“It’s Dots!  She’s nearly collapsed from fatigue!”  Anri played along, sucking up to the duplicate’s obvious obsession.  Dots caught on quickly, lying back in Anri’s arms and holding the back of her hand up to her forehead.

Saveus gasped.  “OH MY!  THAT LOOKS QUITE SERIOUS!  WHAT CAN BE DONE TO HELP?”

“There’s only one cure to this detective’s condition,” Anri said seriously.  “She needs… answers.”

“ANSWERS?  TWO PLUS TWO IS FOUR!  THE MITOCHONDRIA IS THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL!  THE MEANING OF LIFE IS–”

“No, no, a specific answer,” Anri clarified.  “She needs to know… who you are.”

“Me?”  Lexosaveus’s voice finally dropped to a reasonable decibel.  “I am… LEXOSAVEUS!  HERO OF THE GHOST ZONE AND…”

Anri fixed them with a harsh glare, one that held the power of the terrible memes and danno edits contained within their immortal form.  Lexosaveus, powerful as they might have been, was unable to withstand it.  

“OH… OH… ALRIGHT!”  They exclaimed.  “MY NAME IS… @sonicgrl01!  THERE!  IS DOTS SAVED NOW??”

Dots cracked open her eyes.  “Oh, yes, Saveus.  I’m very saved.  Thank you so much.”

“YAY!  LEXOSAVUS IS ONCE AGAIN DOTS’ HERO!”

And with that, they flew off into the depths of the Nightmare Valley.

“Way to go, Dots.”  Anri grinned.

“Hey, that one was all you.  Thanks.”  Dots smiled back before yawning.  “Now, I think what would really save me is some sleep.”

Anri nodded.  “Definitely.  Come on, let’s get you some rest.”

[kinglazrus]

Lexx IDs

Only publicly revealed Lexxes are on this list. If any information is wrong, or if I’ve missed any revealed Lexxes, please let me know!

@arachnosaurus-rex is @artistically-gay

dr-lexxoshmirtz is @duckapus

@im-deadass-lexx-tho is @lexosaurus

@lexazulus is @cluelessintheusa

@lexobotus is @duncte123 and @dovahnicky

@lexobutchus is @ceciliaspen

@lexochorus is @wolfsongroar

lexoconfusedus ( @confusedandghostly ) is @deredereart

lexocrisis is @dannyphandump

@lexod-o-t-sus is @asandygraves

lexodoorus is @nhf

lexoendus ( @phantomphangphucker ) is @thetribalmoth

lexogorgeous ( @q-gorgeous ) is @quishaphantom

@lexohorses is @ghosttrolls-au

lexohsaurus ( @xxohh ) is @etherealtulip

lexolazrus ( @kinglazrus ) is @unluckyalis

@lexolearnus is @five-rivers

lexoluvrus is @dovahnicky

lexononymous is @relatable-ninja

@lexonorus is @jl-artsandcreations

lexothesaurus ( @mr-lancers-english-class ) is @urbanpineapplefarmer

lexotrashus ( @dots-rambles ) is @d-o-t-s

@lexosaveus is @sonicgrl01

@lexoscarerus-deactivated2019021 is @dovahnicky

@lexosnorus is @asandygraves

@lexosharkus is @reallydumbdannyphantomaus

@lexospaceboi is @sonicgrl01

@lexoswampus is @voidetrap

@lexoswarmus is @asandygraves

@lexperanto is @purpleillusn

lex0saurus is @artistically-gay

@lexxjustlexx is @going-dead

@lexxomummous is @spacegravedoodles

@lexx-2point0 is @all-hail-trash-prince

reallydumbdannyphandomaus ( @skulking-around-the-phandom ) is @thesernotthedroidsurlooking4

@suruasoexel is @phantasmapurple9

@yourfaveislexovorus is @asandygraves

@yourfaveissecretlylexosaurus is @asandygraves

@valexxtine is @asandygraves