#like I remember he gave it to coutinho at one point

[getting-messi]

Back in 2018, an Argentine journalist gave Messi his mom’s lucky red ribbon when the team was struggling.

Fast forward to 2022, Messi still has the ribbon as Argentina become World Champions🥹💙

[chicken-marinade]

I'm not particularly fond of Neymar, I prefer players like Marcelo or Coutinho, but even so, I would like to point a few things: 1- Yes, he fakes most of it, but that doesn't change the fact that he had a foot surgery three months ago, it probably hurts sometimes. Does that mean he can exaggerate? No, but give the boy some rest, he isn't the only one who does that. At least he doesn't hurt the other players on purpose (yes Switzerland, I'm looking at you) 2- Before the games started, all Brazilians were putting him in so much pressure as if he was the only player on the team. When we realized Neymar was doing poorly, we gave him so much shit online that the coach had to remind us that he was human and got affected with the things we said. The poor boy changed his hairstyle because everyone was insulting it (can you imagine not being able to choose how your hair looks like because of the fans??). So he doesn't need other countries judging him, he already got us doing that. 3- OF COURSE HE WON'T BE IN HIS BEST, HE HASN'T TRAINED BECAUSE HE WAS RECOVERING FROM THE SURGERY. I had more things to say but I can't remember right now, I'll update this if I do. Also, I'm sorry for my English, there's probably a lot of mistakes in my writing, but you get the point.

[heartsoftruth]

i cannot handle this for another week man! how am i suppose to do that jesus christ

I know 🙃🙃___________

ANON: “i have a few questions; how can psg breach ffp rules ??? (i hope they do) i also read (a rumor from globo i think ???) that neymar is scared to get an UEFA ban. i know we deserve some answers from him and so does both clubs but why does psg want to handle this quiekly because last time i checked the transferwindow closes august 31 so….”

By selling players or some shady deal with promoters probably. I have no idea but I’m sure they’ve found a way.

Yes I read that too about the ban.

Because if Ney doesn’t come they need to look for another player. Besides if you already have an agreement and put an offer on the table you want to have some sort of answer and not one at the last minute when you gave it in time. ____________

ANON: “WHAT ANON U WORK FOR WHAT ???? DO TELL IM DESPERATE”

ANON: “Anon I hope your truthful in what your saying because forgive me if I’m a bit weary in what your saying …. this whole saga is just to much and it’s draining!!! So I’m praying your right”

ANON: “@ anon who said she works for sport media outlet; dont fuck with us (😅), u really sure he is staying ???? because i’ll lowkey lose my shit if this all isnt true bye”

@anon you’re a celeb! Hahah.

And I agree with the second. I’m also wary but that’s how I am. Like I said nothing personal.____________

ANON: I just feel its a little to harsh on ney to think he would be like this u know i’ll only stay if u get my Brazilian pals. I dont think he is like that there is alot of mess surrounding him but this really is not his thing. Obviously he’ll welcome couti with open arms i never doubted that all i am saying its wrong to assume that barca is only approaching coutinho simply to keep neymar. I feel in all this mess ppl have started blaming him for all sorts of random things too which isnt necessary.“

I don’t blame his for us getting or trying to get Coutho. I mean he’s world class.

I do have my motives to think like that but while this transfer bs is still going it’s of no use to explain it. _________

ANON: ” Okay… I love Neymar to death. But people are saying he would want to leave to be a leader of a team. But do we all remember what happened when he was captain for Brazil? He’s still a little too hot headed to be a leader. He needs to keep improving and I really think Messi helps in that area. I really hope he stays"

Interesting point. Tho I think he has grown a lot I still think as a leader it’s too early for him.

And I really hope so too anon. He has everything at Barca. I hope he realizes that too and makes the right decision.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW22 - Happy New Year Edition

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

Extra long lambs this week because it’s a podless GW and I guess we have many things to say as well as many doubts. Ok here we go :)

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Lukaku GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY TEAM, Paul, and RLC

IN (For -4 points): Quaner, Alli, and Eriksen

The Jesus injury gave me some pause over the plan to go heavy on Spurs attack for the double but in the end decided meh fuck it. I can always go for Aguero after he plays Liverpool if it seems a prime thing to do. A little bit worried about City scoring for fun without Dilva and possibly without Kevin. My team would still have the same problem of being thin if I did go for Aguero in for Lukaku so am gonna restructure and get in there with a big move this week for the double.

Alli was automatic as I've been feeling how he's been looking lately. Eriksen v Son was a close one for me. Son explosive, but has the slight shout of being rested whereas Eriksen seems pretty nailed regardless. Going to go for the minutes play here. Little bit of nostalgia for me as well getting in Alli and Eriksen who were in my GW1 squad and did me well back in the day.

I am a bit worried about Quaner playing this GW but at this point I just want to get the cheapest guy possible and he seems a good first choice lad. Also feel like Huddy aren't the hugest shout to significantly reinforce in the transfer window in attack so hopefully he keeps it up.

I'm keeping Stephens over RLC for the simple reason that RLC could be knocked and miss out. Points this GW feels enough of a reason to keep Stephens over RLC. RLC looks like a really bad FPL pick with Benteke in and him playing in a more reserved role anyway so he's off. Had a couple of tidy returns for me so thanks bro but see you later.

GK:

Adrian goes. Woah. First non-Pope time at GK for me for a long fucking time. Feels weird but also good. DGW keeper always a good guy to have and WBA at home seems as good a clean shout as you can have at this moment. If he gets 8 or so points it would be very nice.

DEF:

Five at the back again for me. Triple Chelsea defense are in as per....Christensen, Azpil, and Moses....which much to my fucking nightmare was only 1 Chelsea defender in GW21 after Conte subbed Moses before 60'.... it’s their first difficult on paper fixture since I've gone with the treble. But, looking at how fucking shit Arsenal have been a clean doesn't seem that insane here.

Phil Jones god and legend of the baps is the most auto thing of life. Preached patience with United defense on the last pod and it came in straight away which was tidy. Everton are the worst attack possible so fuck them. Clean seems likely.

Last guy is the Dunk of Lewishire. Dunk and BHA defense has been a massive unheralded star of the FPL season for me and any of you who have been rotating a BHA defender for some time. They welcome the completely rudderless and injured to fuck Bournemouth side. Get in Lew my absolute son.

MID:

New old friends Alli the middle fingering diving cunt is back in alongside Eriksen. Not sure how long I'll keep, or who will get fucked off first, but Coutinho will be coming in soon for one of these lads. Just bought lottery tickets in Spurs attack and if they are able to put in between 5-7 goals over the two games I'll be absolutely BUOOZZINNNNN and also probably flying. Kill to fly, fly to kill.

Salah looks like he's a little bit dead, but since I bought him at 9m removing him was not even a small consideration. Will just have to rely on the bench if he doesn't go.

Finally, Raz is in and looks a dead cert for a start after not featuring today. Good guy Raz.

FWD:

Just the solitary Harold this GW. Standard 541 here at FMLFPL HQ nothing to see lads.

BENCH ORDER:

Quaner, Stephens, Niasse.

Bunch of lads. Who knows who will play and who will not play but I have three guys on the bench so getting a full team out looks very likely. Good job by me.

CAP:

TRIPLE CAP Kane.

It's time for me. I want to use the chip on Kane and the fixtures are as good as you can hope for. No assurances that Spurs will have another DGW and even though there is 1 day off between I am willing to take the risk using the chip this GW. It will allow me to pump the WC the week OF a future DGW instead of the week before which is pretty tidy and honestly I think we overrate the chips a LOT. Sure they are good, but it's not the end all be all of life.

I think illness whatever is dumb and I'm willing to risk that he will make it for both games. He's on fucking form and has just had a nice rest. Harry will Harry, triple cap will triple cap. Let's go Kane drink the nectar of the hat trick gods and keep pumping the goal with your jizzum.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Richarlison my love and Lejeune the fuck

IN (For my second -4 of the season): Arnie and Ogbonna

Are you not supposed to have a bevy around a recovering alcoholic? I’d imagine not. Or smoke fags around someone trying to quit? Probably poor form, that. But here we are. I’ve been enabled... :)

I took a hit, my first hit of the season last week, and it resulted in a net +6 points (including the -4) and a nice green arrow. MY BLOOD IS PUMPING IN THIS MOMENT!!!!!!!

Hit #2 quickly followed today and oo baby I’m feeling nice... My hands were shaking and I had the cold sweats with a beautiful woman in the nude calling out to me... but I slighted her and instead looked up West Ham defensive statistics and compared Arnie to Lanzini for a couple of hours and took the -4; the only thing that’s real...........!!!

Richar my beautiful Brazilian lover our fling has flung. Obrigado for the points mate but you have City and there’s a double gameweek on the cards. Two fixtures, albeit one of them bad vs. Spuds, and I just had to go for Arnie.

Lejeune being dead in what will be the most heavily rotated GW of the season with Salah already ruled out and RLC probably missing out lead me to the second transfer and the -4; I just needed some fucking guys. The upside is there to make up the -4 so I’m tagging along with everybody else and it leaves me with four doublers for the DGW which feels pretty nice. So let us go.

GK:

DDG and United up against the Eve feels like as easy a cleansheet fixture as you can get. Tidy 7 pointer from him last GW and faith restored.

DEF:

Kicking off with Jones up against the same blues of Eve should be easy workings. And you know he’s Phil Jones king of the fucking BONES. 9 pointer what else is new. Good to have you back Philip.

Otamendi straight the fuck in last week with an 8 pointer as he seems to do every week. Took the shittiest ass pen from Milivojevic but I will happily cash those points in. Ota such a great pick - maybe a double up on the way soon with Stoner. Would make a lot of sense to not keep clean here with like a Richarlison brace or something since I transferred him out but ya know, whatever.

Christensen I have starting but who knows if Conte will follow suit. No one knows a thing about Christensen our Chelsea darling boy and if he can find a way into the 11 but we can hope. He’s top quality but blah - it’s concerning - getting another Chelsea defensive asset is at least 1 million away so it’s fucking hard to do. Come on BOD get in there bro. I don’t care it’s Arsecast, you start Chelsea defenders confidently in all fixtures. That’s how they do it.

Lastly new lad Ogbanzo beans should go twice for me. If they clean against West Brom will just be suuuuuch a huge boost of life. If he’s on 2 or less points going into Spurs will feel sad and bad. Meh. Never know. Two bites of the apple get me something Oggy.

MID:

Gonna start with the man the myth the Egyptian fucking god legend Momo Salah. He’s in - of course he’s in would be foolish and disrespectful to bench him - but Klopp has ruled him out for 2ish weeks which is a bummer. So he’ll probably be back for Man. City but we’ll get more autosubs in this week. At the end of Lambs we’ll each post our benches too since it’s going to be rotational hell.

Raz goes straight in Home Watford sexual fixture on the table - didn’t start earlier today so should be in vs. Watford and hauling as usual. Although we’ll see how good/bad City’s attack looks with no Kev and no Daveed (who knows with Daveed).

SUON my Korean boo, my differential treater, been a huge part of my run of greens these Heung-Min points. Got a double fixture on the cards for this GW and I’m just hoping for a combined more then 90 minutes - that’s all we can realistically hope for. And he’s been fantastic. Love him. Should bring in some points.

And Arnie the new guy in the squad. Scary to transfer in a guy who you might want to transfer out very very soon - never feels quite right - but he’s got a double this week and is bang on form starting OOP up top. Lots of shots and big chances and creating shit and touches in the box - TIT ME ARNOLD ARNAUTOVIC!

FWD:

Two guys leading the line in this moment. Alvy Morata the absolute shit-house I don’t know how fucking hungover he must’ve been to not get anything in a 5-0 thrashing but fucking hell. At least I didn’t cap him and avoid that nightmare but I still rate him - but it’s troubling. He might have to go soon. For now I’m just chilling he’s still a good pick and nailed and whatever. Arsecast can’t defend much.

The other guy is Lord Harold of Kane. He’s an absolute must this week - the most must of any guy in any week that I can remember. He was sick a few days ago he’s probably fucking fine. Maybe I’ll be awake until 5-6am and see some sort of additional news but even without the news I think Kane is fine. I expect somewhere around 150 minutes from him this GW and with those fucking fixtures that is pretty insane to think that he will not at least double return... I mean no one is guaranteed points but fucking hell Harold is a great horse to bet on.

BENCH ORDER:

I’m sat on Duffy, Quaner, RLC in this moment.

RLC is a problem and think he should be third on most benches. Duffy good shout at a clean probably coming in for Mo and then Quaner likely to get some minutes even he doesn’t start for a one point cameo if anyone else is rested/rotated in my team. Feels fine.

CAP:

DON’T YOU MEAN..... TRIPLE CAP!?!?!!?!??!?! OOKKKKKKKK LET’S FUCKKKKKKKK IT’S ON BABABYBABBBABABABY!!!!!!!

You already fucking know. Kane the most nailed cap of any life but Triple Cap - I’m going there - fuck it. I’m here I’m there...

Earlier today I really wasn’t feeling good about the triple cap - mostly just apprehension that everything is coming too fast and I’m gonna fuck something up. It’s been a crazy festive period and I’m just like ok, I need to chill, the green arrows are flowing, I just need to fucking chill.... But fuck that shit.

I struggle to come up with any STRONG arguments to NOT triple cap Kane and that’s where we’re left. The only two arguments to not triple cap Kane are:

1. Only one day off between fixtures - can he really play significant minutes in both with one day off.

2. Illness gate / yellow flag / no news.

But those are fucking REEEAAAALLLY weak arguments for me. Illness gate I mean that was a few days ago now. He’s probably fucking fine and not sick anymore like an asshole - and he has Monday off as well to rest up. And speaking of rest up I think he’ll just have to play 70ish in both (maybe more if they’re not winning) and tough it out because he’s not a fucking baby he’s a fucking man. And he’s resting now and he’ll rest after.

The arguments FOR triple capping him in my opinion are pretty overwhelming. Best guy, check, incredible form, check, most important player for the team, check, on pens, check, exceptional fixtures, check... What more do you want? Goal involvement, check, mouth breather, check, childhood GOONA, check, one season wonder, check, golden boot merchant, check.

LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[junker-town]

Arsenal vs. Liverpool almost broke my brain

These are the thoughts of a delirious Arsenal fan during the best game of the Premier League season.

The Man with the Iron Fists is such a weird movie. Japanese characters speaking English in a movie that’s set in Japan and is supposed to be a stereotypical martial arts movie just feels wrong. It should be in Japanese with subtitles. Oh, the Arsenal and Liverpool game is on, I forgot that was today. Probably my brain trying to make sure I missed it after the last few matchups scarred me emotionally. Might as well put it on since it’s my job to put myself through emotional pain and write about it.

40 matches over the next 14 days is absurd. The Premier League definitely needs a winter break, putting players through that schedule is inhumane. Profit rules everything around sports and everything else in this world but there has to be a limit eventually. The games aren’t good because players are tired and everyone else not in England seems to recognize that letting human beings who play almost 60 combined games a season a bit of rest in the middle of the year as a good thing. What the hell are Liverpool wearing? Bold Citrus? That sounds like something a designer says to scam a corporation out of a bunch of money to just company the worst Barcelona kit from a few years ago.

Ainsley Maitland-Niles looks like a concerned citizen who is worried about the crimes of Jack the Ripper. Whys is Mo Salah one on one with him? This won’t turn out well at all.

Why did Mesut Özil send a corner out to Nacho Monreal at the edge of the box? Monreal, of all people. I would rather you just kicked it out of play from the corner. English commentators really hate zonal marking, almost as much as they hate foreign managers. Shut up, Jamie Redknapp. His voice sounds like austerity. I love how Özil lets the ball run across his body, even when he’s not really under any pressure, it gives him a chance to scan the field without having to concentrate on controlling the ball. It’s up there with his Cruyff turns.

Arsenal have the most handsome striker depth. Alexandre Lacazette, Olivier Giroud and Danny Welbeck are better looking than every other team’s strikers. More diverse too.

Jordan Henderson looks like a working class Harry Kane and runs like he’s fighting and losing against the effects of late-stage capitalism. Oh he’s injured. Who’s coming on? James Milner lacks so much sauce that he should be out in the streets begging for a drip of it. He needs every bit he can get. He looks like Major Chip Hazard from Small Soldiers. Or the human form of Hephaestus.

Alex Iwobi runs like his shoes are too small and passes as well as a Nigerian man lies about the second family that he has in another country. Not well. Alexis Sanchez never actually jumps for a header, he just jumps into the defender. Short people. Laurent Koscielny is such a boss, what a clearance to stop that Andrew Robertson. I’m so glad he plays for Arsenal, I remember when people doubted how good he is. Oh to be young again. Feels like just yesterday oh shit Roberto Firmino just dispossessed him. What was Koscielny doing in midfield to begin with? That’s not your job, bro.

Granit Xhaka should definitely not be the supporting midfielder for Maitland-Niles, he doesn’t even pretend to care about defending. He just does that thing where he bends his knees and shifts his body to look like he’s defending without doing anything dynamic. He’s the “yeah I know Excel” of defending.

I’m so glad Arsenal have Petr Cech, that Firmino header would have been a problem with any of the previous keepers. When Firmino smiles, a bird falls out of the sky after being blinded. You can only approach Firmino while holding up the same shield that Perseus used to kill Medusa.

Glad to see Alexis and Lacazette combining. Lacazette is so good with his feet unlike that other guy and oh, another Firmino header. That was close. Maitland-Niles needs to stop thinking about his objections to Edgar Allan Poe’s poems and concentrate on defending that back-post, please.

Oh wow, Coutinho scored.

A lovely looping header from Philippe Coutinho! #ARSLIV #YNWA http://pic.twitter.com/qckAOGS3gU

— NBC Sports Soccer (@NBCSportsSoccer) December 22, 2017

Was that after a throw-in? What the hell was Koscielny doing? Did Salah threaten him with exile if he engaged him outside of the box? What the hell was Xhaka doing? He stayed with Coutinho throughout the entire play and stopped right before he headed the ball? Did Xhaka have an existential crisis in the middle of the box? Screw Kierkegaard, challenge the damn runner. Xhaka always has at least four “what the hell are you doing” moments in a game. Sometimes it’s his defending, sometimes it’s the passes, sometimes both but he always meets the quota.

Oh dear God, that Salah and Mane counterattack is scary. It should be illegal to have both of them in the same team. I hope Liverpool gets investigated and forced to sell one of them.

Alexis loves giving the ball away as much as he loves his dogs. Iwobi loves giving the ball away and passing out of play as much as he likes running like the floor is lava.

How did Monreal go in late on Mane and he’s the one injured? Guess it’s actually serious, he’s still down. Emre Can looks like a Spanish Jordan Henderson, and he’s German which makes it more hilarious.

Xhaka gives the ball away again. Someone please put “Xhaka gives the ball away again” on my gravestone. Arsenal’s midfield is playing like they were all out clubbing last night and had to hide behind the trash can after because Jack Wilshere thinks that works to keep them from having their pictures taken.

Salah is fast as hell. How is anyone that fast? He’s like a mouse when you turn the light on. Hector Bellerin is going to be so good after he finally avenges the death of his father at the hands of Silver Lion and Bronze Lion and can concentrate solely on soccer.

Holy shit, is Koscielny match-fixing? How do you slip there out of all places, to let in Mo Salah of all people? Of course Mane went for the spectacular. The man has the sauce. When you have the sauce you’re compelled to do the cool thing over the sensible. He couldn’t have brought that down and shot normally if he wanted to. The man doesn’t have a long part in his hair to do boring Milner things.

Xhaka gives the ball away again. This is how I die. Oh now Özil gives it away twice in a row. He’s definitely doing a performance art piece on how Xhaka plays.

Mustafi is coming on? I guess that Monreal injury was serious. I love that he prays before coming on, I should do something on the religious rituals that players have before and during games. Hopefully he prayed for Arsenal’s midfield.

Shut up, Jamie Redknapp.

Goodness Christ that Mane and Salah counterattack is going to kill me before the new year. Please stop Salah from running. Wilshere please. Just foul him. Slide. Do something. No, don’t go to Firmino, follow the guy that’s going towards goal and not the one on the sideline. Why is there three people on Firmino when he’s on the damn sideline. Someone please step onto Salah, don’t give him space, don’t give him space, please don’t give him space and of course he scored you idiots. I told you to not give him space. I hate this team so much. SANCHEZ!

Alexis I love you so much! You beautiful waxed man! The greatest Chilean since Isabel Allende. I’ve always loved you, even when I said that you should be put on both team sheets since you love to give the ball away so much, it was out of love.

Xhaka please don’t shoot this, YOU GORGEOUS MAN! What a cannon!

I’ve never loved another human being as much as I love you. The gods carved you out of marble and gave you a rocket for a left foot. Shoot everything, always. I don’t care. Look at Simon Mignolet flapping at the shot, Liverpool should probably think of getting a keeper who can actually save shots.

Look at Özil leading the resurgence. And they said he disappears in big games. Love to see him and Lacazette combine and OH MY GOD. ÖZIL!

My one and true son! I would sacrifice all of my other sons for your sake. I love no one but you and only you. You wonderful angel. Look at the gang sign. Look at the knee slide. Look at the hair. Everything is perfect.

Coutinho is so good. A damn outside of the boot pass across the field to Mane. Thank goodness for Cech.

Xhaka, what the hell are you doing? You don’t tackle people from behind. Look at Özil again, if Lacazette plays a one-two with him instead of backheeling that pass to Wilshere, they would have recreated the earlier goal. Please don’t pass it to Jack when Özil is open, Lacazette. You have to know these things.

Shut up, Jamie Redknapp. I’m pretty sure the last image I’ll see before I die is Mane and Salah running at the Arsenal defense.

Why is Firmino wide open at the top of the box? Why is Firmino wide open at the top of the box? I’M SORRY, WHY IS FIRMINO WIDE OPEN AT THE TOP OF THE BOX?

The goal that made @Arsenal v. @LFC 3-3 #ARSLIV http://pic.twitter.com/fFuPWNUc1j

— NBC Sports Soccer (@NBCSportsSoccer) December 22, 2017

What is Koscielny doing? Who is he even looking at while Firmino is right next to him? I hope Netflix is paying him good money for this comedic performance. He’s literally looking running to defend time and space instead of the forward right next to him. Oh wow, Cech saved it. What a wonderful keeper. Cech you absolute scrub. You just went full Manuel Almunia huh? How do you save the shot into your own goal? 15 points a season my ass.

This game is not good for my health. I should start going to therapy and bill Arsenal for it. I can’t believe that he saved the ball into the goal. Oh yes cech, kick the ball back to Liverpool. That’s exactly what we need right now.

What a touch by Iwobi. And now he’s coming off for Danny Welbeck, the sixth best black man alive, after me/Idris Elba (same person), Mahershala Ali, Jay Z, Barack Obama and LeBron James.

How happy is Georginio Wijnaldum to have escape Newcastle? Probably as happy as the Arsenal defense is to see that Mane is going off.

How did Özil slip under no pressure there? Is the spirit of Steven Gerrard haunting this field? If we lose because of a slip, I’m never watching soccer again. I swear to Paolo Maldini.

Oh look, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, the man with the name of the Chief Constable who assures Maitland-Niles that he will catch Jack the Ripper in no time. The Judas. Jezebel. The sycophant.

Xhaka, what the hell are you doing? Please stop doing these things.

Wonderful, now that Mane is off, Gini wants to counterattack with Salah. What is Koscielny doing? Why are you running towards Gini when SALAH OF ALL PEOPLE IS RUNNING ACROSS YOU? THERE’S THREE PEOPLE CHASING GINI ALREADY! Who replaced Koscielny with Johan Djourou?

I don’t want to see Theo Walcott do anything. It takes him six touches to do something a good player could do with two. He’s the eternal youth player.

What a wonderful pass from Wilshere to Özil and Özil completely blows the cross. Oh my goodness that almost went in. How did it come down at that angle? That’s wild. I’m sure he meant it. Özil doesn’t make mistakes.

Huh, Firmino and Coutinho have the same tattoo under their ear. That’s pretty cute.

Thank goodness this game is over. I don’t ever want to watch another match like this again. That made no sense. My head hurts. Of course Milner thought Liverpool should be more boring, the man probably thinks paste is seasoning. He’s worse than the boring Milner meme because that’s satire and he’s utterly serious. I hate him so much.

[walkonwalkonwithhopeinyourheart]

An actually good, rational thread about the left-back position, A.K.A. The Milner Bible, A.K.A Hey, it's pre-season via /r/LiverpoolFC

An actually good, rational thread about the left-back position, A.K.A. The Milner Bible, A.K.A Hey, it's pre-season

Ok, this is going to be a quite long post but there are some misconceptions and common arguments about James Milner that I feel are missing the points, or are sometimes outright wrong. I have made some of these points in other threads about left-backs and James Milner, but I've tried to collect them and make them more coherent here. This twitter thread is mostly about how bad Milner is and kind of motivated me to rebut it, so that's what I'll be focusing on. All stats are from Whoscored and pertain to the 16/17 season.

Here we go!

1. Does Milner get dribbled past all the time?

There was a stat floating around that Milner was the most dribbled past fullback in Europe. It's very misleading. I have some issues with the stat itself, but below you'll see why it's so misleading without going into that.

Kyle Naughton is the most dribbled past fullback in Europe, Milner is second – in absolute terms. But Milner has also played more than most fullbacks, more than most players in fact. How does it look when displayed per 90 minutes? This is a comparison with other left backs who have played more than five games in the premier league .

Darmian - 2,1

Kelly - 1,9

Monreal- 1,6

Fuchs - 1,5

Masuaku - 1,4

Milner - 1,4

Rose - 1,3

Azpilicueta - 1,2

So, does Milner get dribbled past all the time? Not even close to Darmian, about the same as Rose or Azpilicueta.

TL;DR: No, he doesn't.

2. Is Milner detrimental to our attacking play?

This is obviously harder to prove. But looking through the stats again, Milner creates 1,57 chances per 90 minutes from left back. That's slightly better than Rose and far better than Bellerin, Valencia, Clichy, Sagna and Walker who all average around 1 chance per game. A "chance", by the way, is a pass that leads to a shot on goal.

Now, maybe Milner could be "slowing down" our attack – but he still seems to create more going forward than most other fullbacks in the league, including some very good ones. The argument that he should be replaced to improve our attack seems flawed.

His attacking contribution is also highlighted by this thread, that tallies "secondary assists". This clearly shows how involved he is in Liverpool's attacking play.

3. Is Milner literally unable to cross the ball?

Now, I agree that Milner doesn't as often rush down to the byline and whip in a great cross, as many seem to believe that Rose and Bellerin do constantly. But I don't see why we'd want to replace a very good attacking fullback with a fullback who is better at crossing. That would make sense if we had a good header of the ball in the box who was starving for service, but we don't really play like that.

It is, however, nice to get a headed goal every now and then. Lucky then, that Liverpool scored more goals through headers than any of the top 7 teams bar Arsenal. If Milner's crossing was indeed such a huge issue, that would be reflected in his huge lack of assists this season. Considering how effective crossing is, players like Leighton Baines (who crosses to Lukaku) and Hector Bellerín (who crosses to Giroud) should have tens of assists. Incredibly though, they don't. Bellerín ended the season with 4 assists, Baines with 3 – as many as Milner. Almost all of the league's fullbacks ended the season with between 2 and 4 assists.

Milner effectively plays as an "inverted fullback", who rather passes diagonally inside or cuts back inside. Look for example at Lallana's opener against Hull or Firmino's opener against Leicester. These are two examples of defensive teams that were cut open through the fact that we have a good passer of the ball on the left side, rather than a good crosser of the ball. A quick glance at (the length of) our attacking players indicates that perhaps a good passer is more efficient than a good crosser.

4. Is Milner a bad defender?

A common theme here is that Milner struggles against pacy attackers. I don't think that stands up to scrutiny. Sure, some games it's been hard for him. But it's impossible to find a Premier League defenders who haven't had a hard game. Is it generally true that Milner struggles against quick attackers?

We could go through all the games against sides with quick attackers, but I've cherry-picked the game against City at the turn of the year where Milner was up against Sterling. The BBC's Garth Brooks, who put Milner in his team of the week wrote the following:

He has been Liverpool's best player during the past four games and never gave Manchester City's Raheem Sterling a kick on his return to Anfield.

I'm partly bringing that up as a reminder to everyone that there was wide consensus among users of this sub, and pundits that putting Milner at left back was a stroke of genius, during the first half of the season.

Looking through the defensive stats, Milner doesn't look terribly shaky either. He has one defensive error during the season – loads of fullbacks had more. He won about 45% of his aerial headers, which is worse than many fullbacks but about par for his length.

5. Do Liverpool need another left back?

Yes. Milner looked decidedly worse the longer the season went on. This isn't because he's literally trash, but because Milner and Clyne played more minutes than anyone else in the squad. Milner is also the player (in the premier league) with the 4th most distance covered over the whole season – 5th if you count distance covered per game. And he's 31.

So Liverpool's 31 year old left back was among the players who ran the most last season. Next season we'll have even more games. We need a new left back, no question about that, but we don't need a new left back to replace Milner, we need one to supplement him and to take over after him. That's why Andy Robertson is a decent signing – not because Milner is trash.

Some counterpoints

Some counter-points to the ones I've made. First of all: "The fact that Milner played so much means that he should've racked up more assists and goals this season than fullbacks who played less games". That's partly true, but he isn't that far ahead of fullbacks from other top teams who might have had a back-up, but who also played more games due to CL/EL this season.

Second: "The fact that Milner took many set pieces last season explains why he's so far ahead in chances created etc". This is probably partly true but I believe his stats are so good in some cases that they can't only be explained by that. Especially considering how inefficient set pieces are generally.

Third: "The fact that Milner has so many 'secondary assists' is because he plays next to Coutinho". This is rubbish. Mané had only 2 fewer assists than Coutinho last season, and Clyne still didn't manage to even come close to Milner's attacking contribution. It's not like the players on the right are trashcans, both Lallana and Mané have scored and assisted loads of goals.

Four: "He's not a natural left back". This doesn't make any sense. Obviously the point of discussion should be his contribution on the pitch, not his football genetics.

Final thoughts

I think people make a couple of mistakes when they think of Milner. First of all, I think the "natural left back" part makes people look closer and more critically at Milner, and people consider every mistake he does as examples of how bad he is – instead of seeing them as natural parts of a game of football. Coutinho also makes mistakes.

Second, I think people gravely overestimate how good opposing fullbacks are and how efficient crossing is. People sometimes talk about Clyne and Milner expecting them to score 10 goals a season. Fullbacks don't do that. Remember that we almost won the league with Flanagan and Cissokho, and that Djimi Traore won the Champions League for Liverpool.

Submitted July 18, 2017 at 10:43AM by rytlejon via reddit http://ift.tt/2u45LBn