#like dude i dont relate to anyone

[apollotronica]

i think not fitting in with the mentally ill people is more embarrassing than not fittign nin with "normal" people Idk .what im talking about but dawg i get into . Spaces where people can . idk . be themselves . And i still fell like a weirdo freak . like dawg...

[mbat]

i literally read the book of bill days ago but its only now kinda hitting me how fucked ford and bills whole thing was though cause ford literally talks about being so unable to sleep (to try to keep bill away), and when sleep inevitably caught up to him, he would wake up to his body abused and things messed with and he just couldnt seem to find an escape (and he literally didnt get to truly escape until 30 years later)

(also keeping people awake for unhealthily long periods of time is another tactic used to mess with and control people because of how it impairs brain function)

listing off the things we see in those few pages in the book of bill:

i mean, punching and scratching at a steel door for hours would be so damaging to your hands and probably hurt like hell for at least 2 days after. then bill says he was hitting fords head against a wall, though its said in a post-it as if its a joke, but he also isnt exactly above doing that, and honestly he says most things like its a joke.

i also dont need to say 'bill really doesnt know how to take no for an answer' because he makes that very clear in literally any interaction we see with him.

bill literally puts a venomous snake near ford while fords asleep, which could have killed him if he wasnt lucky+skilled enough to deal with it.

he nearly gives ford hypothermia, and in the same action actively threatens ford with the idea of making him jump off of a high spot, and like ford says, doesnt do it just so he can send a message to ford about how hes the one in control.

he gets ford in trouble with not only the law, but also with other people that are probably not very happy with him after. he mutilates fords body in several ways, and i dont think i need to go into detail on them because theyre... so ew. and he even exposes part of fords body to the world. like, its just taking his shirt off, but thats still showing off his body in a way that he didnt agree to or want

and then he attempts to (or purposefully fails to) call stan, using fords voice to threaten suicide and tell stan that ford never loved him.

and he punctuates it with a final power move, in a hallucination that he creates, hes messing with stans memories and making him feel like his body was basically about to implode

and like. okay, we all joke about toxic old man yaoi, and its a good joke and toxic old man yaoi is great and its an interesting ship, but holy fuck.

like. to say the absolute least, that had to be so, so deeply violating. its no wonder that when we see ford in the past, when he finally contacts stan, he looks like hes on the verge of shattering into a million pieces. he just went through, and still wasnt yet out of, some deeply abusive shit.

like... everything coming out lately both in this book and what ive heard is on the website, mixed with what we already knew from the show itself... the stans are both so, so fucking tragic dude. their whole lives were thrown away over things that really didnt even need to be the way they were, and then they both get into situations that are pretty damn screwed, and those situations follow them for the rest of their lives. its basically a miracle that things worked out in the end for them.

i dont really have a point, i just had to talk about all that. i read almost all of the book of bill in one sitting, and while i was really enjoying it, i was also getting kind of tired of sitting in one spot only doing this one thing for several hours straight. i still felt a lot of the emotional bits of it of course, but man this part specifically just really didnt hit me until now.

i mean, to say the absolute least, i know what its like to feel violated in a similar way, though not anywhere near to the extent of what he went through at all. someone get that man some therapy got damn

[feline-evil]

Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.

[aq2003]

i'm of the fundamental belief that every companion should be some guy and also the doctor should be some guy too. the doctor could be just anyone off gallifrey that got sick of timelord bureaucracy and left just like how the companion could be any person on earth that got sick of their normal life and wanted to see the stars. like they're a being that's lived a couple thousand years and a being that's lived a few decades both of which are nothing compared to the ancientness of the universe they explore together. you know

[lowpolyshadow]

im so bored and lonely what should i do (hang out with people) no not that

[mrtequilasunset]

bruh there's smthn seriously wrong with me bc what the fuck do you mean I get physically throwuppy nauseous when I see people playing with my characters wrong. What the fuck kind of shit is that girl calm down

[floralovebot]

i think a lot about helia being saladin's grandson and how it's heavily implied that he's close with codatorta too and him being codatorta's best student at some point. and how most of the characters either immediately assumed nepotism or weren't exactly disagreeing with it. and how saladin and codatorta go out of their way to Not treat helia better and how all of that combined can really fuck with a young teen's mind and perception of themselves.

he never thinks he's good enough or the right person for the job. he always wants to prove himself. he's really sensitive to making mistakes and immediately assumes everyone hates him when he makes one. always tries to prove his worth in physical and mission related ways. feels responsible for red fountain and guilty for having other interests. manages a stable art career but ultimately goes back because he's too emotionally attached to everyone and especially rf. it's just... dude...

[carriagelamp]

I'm finally at the Guanyin Temple and Jiang Cheng's screaming match about Wei Wxuian and his martyrdom and the repercussions of well-intentioned choices is going to KILL me

[jack-owo-valentine]

transphobes can stay made bc like my god is guilty gear basically inherently queer

[chickadee-chariot]

Self congratulatory man in YouTube comments section asserts that "all humor comes from making fun of other races and genders." He styles his verbiage with an aura of geniality and ease, using familiar terms of address for complete strangers who disagree with him.

Those who have the gall to not only disagree, but to do so with perceptible indignation (or--heaven forbid--vexation!) are certain to be deemed far too irrational to hold meaningful conversation. Not to mention, the unspeakable rudeness of not adhering to the tone he has set for this interaction. That is, the proud proclamation of how little affected he is by what he considers humorous.

He wears his self-proclaimed "thick skin" like a badge of honor. He either does not know or does not let slip the fact that his skin is as thick as his understanding of humor is deep. His percieved great invulnerability is brought about not by any virtue of his own, but by his position on the metaphorical field of battle. He stands on a hill from which endless spears and boulders rain down. Below him, people wail as they pull each other free from bone-crushing rock. He bristles at their cries, as they interrupt his afternoon ruminations. A pebble, shaken free by the chaos, lands on his foot and he smiles at how his skin remains unbroken. Below him, red banners fly, still wet, drops whipping from their edges to land on his cheek. This is upsetting to him, he is not thinking of how to save any of them, he is thinking only of how to stop the noise.

The great secret, of course, is that he is already dead. He is a ghost, turning envious eyes on the people below, who have the audacity to bleed. He paces his island between rows of the dead, his hand itching for a stone.

[mbat]

every day i wonder what happened during the design process of equestria girls for them to all come out the way they did. i can see where the skirts thing came from cause they wanted them to be undeniably girly i guess or whatever but. every other weird decision is just confusing

like fluttershys whole outfit, the shortish skirt but especially the tank top. maybe its meant to indicate that shes outdoors a lot with animals, but it completely betrays her shyness and tendency to try and hide herself

they kinda messed up big mac and shining armor? mostly shining armor. his jaw could slice metal. why he look like that

also i only realized while looking at the characters that. okay i was just going to say 'lol cheerilees hair is stupid its like 1 foot taller than her head, why didnt they just give her normal bangs wtf' and i still mean that but then i realized... they swapped her mane and fur colors for her human counterpart ??? so now her usually darker coat and light hair became dark hair and light skin ??

which leads me to the point about the skin colors being weird. like. i dont like how they lightened them up, i dont like how aj and big mac have human skin colors (i have to assume maybe they thought for them that the colors looked bad, or possibly even close to caricature territory, especially with big mac), and the way they outright lightened up the colors of at least 2 normally darker ponies? like i said, cheerilee, but also

luna. even back when i first saw the movie and adored it, i DID NOT like the princesses designs. how did they fuck up some of the best characters in the show, especially the ones that are the prettiest (imo).

i would say that of the 3, cadence is the most okay design (i know we dont see her in the first movie just roll with me here). its clearly her, she looks like her and has her vibe (visually), all around not bad. not necessarily my favorite, theres still something slightly off? but it doesnt rub me the wrong way

celestia... i dont like her vibe. who is she. shes light pink and she has hair spikeys that are meant to look like a crown but just made it look like she didnt brush her hair properly. she has celestias hair but her face does not read like celestia to me. she looks like an imposter. where is my mother

and finally. the pinnacle of the issues with the designs. luna.

WHO IS SHE. THAT OUTFIT? NOT LUNA. THAT HAIR? YOU WOULDVE BEEN BETTER OFF JUST DOING A GRADIENT. OR PUTTING IN LITTLE STAR HAIR CLIPS. THAT FACE? THATS SOMEONES WINE MOM WHO SINGS EXTRA LOUD AT CHURCH. same critique about the hair spikeys as before. AND THE SKIN??? HELLO??? THE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT GOT TURNED INTO PRINCESS OF MIDDAY. WHY.

the design of the show vs the movies is, i guess now literally, night and day. pony luna is so inspired and pretty and meant to invoke such regality, its very clear what her theme is, and she very much sticks out amongst the others, both in shape and details!

but the human version feels generic, she could easily be a background character (and she basically was), she feels unfinished, the colors on their own arent the worst but moreso feel insulting when compared to the original (i like the addition of pink/pinkish purple to the palette, but not so much to luna as a character. it just isnt her imo), she doesnt even look like an authority figure aside from obviously looking older than the other characters, let alone being someone meant to be somewhat equivalent to royalty. also again she was a minor character here but its like... her pony version has such a stone strong personality, both when shes freshly back from the moon and later on when shes more grounded and princess-like. human luna is just... generic teacher person. did human luna even ever experience significant isolation and feeling completely unseen by everyone she cared about? doubt it.

and yeah, they significantly lightened her skin ?? why ?? theres literally no reason to do that? she wouldnt look like a caricature unless you somehow chose the wrong colors (how possibly would you), and its not exactly impossible to draw characters with darker skin, again her pony form literally has a dark coat !! but also plenty of people have redesigned her human form to have the right skin color and they look great!! and in general obviously theres plenty of characters with dark skin, like... what was the reason they did that. it just feels gross.

dont cross me when it comes to luna dude i love her so much

anyway yeah its been over 10 years since EG first aired and i loved it back then and i still love it but i think a lot more about character designs now. mlp g4 is known for having these really pleasant and well put together designs with lovely colors (for the most part), its so weird how that gets easily messed up, like in g5, but also still in g4 itself(in the spinoffs and the main show lol)? wish i had the motivation to redesign them all lol, i probably will someday. please go look at redesigns theyre very lovely

[star-ocean-peahen]

So! My little cousin was talking to me about her crush (because she looks up to me for some reason???) and she asked me what I thought of boys romantically, and because I've never been asked that question before, I got excited.

I thought. I thought! that I could be So Normal, in this moment, just two girls talking about crushes, but then my hopes came crashing down on my shoulders when I told her my first crush was a Lego. And then began running through the list and realized my crushes are nigh-incomprehensible to a middle school girl excited about boys for the first time, because they include a decaying purple corpse responsible for the death of his younger brother, a pathetic whiner of a pretty wizard, an elf boy with terrible self-esteem in a skirt, etc. The most """normal""" crush on the list is a popular superhero, and even that one gets the label of """normal""" only because most of his fanbase is attracted to him??????

;_; I thought I was so normal for having crushes........but it turns out I never was........

[snekdood]

Yknow what makes me reaentful? How ive been sexually abused so much growing up, no one did shit besides shove me off to a therapist, ive been promised by feminist spaces that ill have a place to heal within them, and as soon as my abusive ex tries to smear me and project their behavior on to me by accusing me of doing that shit too, all the sudden everyone acts suspicious, and i still dont get any of that promised healing. Its hard not to feel like my ex did this intentionally to prevent me from having a space to heal. And its my issue with the "believe victims" narrative because it seems to me like people dont actually want to believe victims but to believe the victims they *like* and *agree more with politically*. If people can just say whatever about someone and you feel obligated to believe them because "believe victims", its very clearly going to be exploited by abusive people, and while i dont think we should stop per se, we need to have some sort of actual system to vet who is and isnt telling the truth, like a pseudo-courtroom. At the very least let everyone and their side of the story actually be heard. Bc idk how you guys plan to believe two victims at once who are accusing eachother other than throwing your hands up and picking one or deciding that we're both bad, which doesnt seem very fair to me since people seem to looove demonizing me for no discernable reason.

[firearmsandflashdrives]

my main problem with foucaults pendulum is that the flaws of its characters that it critiques are sometimes also the flaws of the narrative/novel as a whole…i feel this particularly with amparo and the whole part of the book set in brazil…like one of the primary flaws of casaubon/belbo/diotallevi is that they start to see the complexity of history and culture as mere symbols reflecting something secret and universal, but also therefore flat, as casaubon articulates in the end: “the moment a secret is revealed, it seems little. There is only an empty secret.” Right? but for eco too i think the brief brush with the long history and culture of brazil exists only to be part of that bigger secret…there is literally zero interest in examining it for what it is the way there is with the italian history of fascism/resistance or with the templars. like the moment of triumph for belbo that casaubon identifies is his holding the note of the trumpet precisely because it doesn't signify anything else. but the mix of cultures that exist in brazil is used in the novel only as a way of signifying something else--where the templars are originally discussed as a nuanced and varied group of men and are reduced to genius masters of the global plot as the protagonists lose themselves, brazil, the agogos, etc, are never anything but symbols.

I think this is most obvious in amparo's reaction to becoming "possessed"--she reveals this really deep internalized racism and hatred for her roots, calling herself a "dirty black girl," that the novel doesnt care to explore the way it does with belbo's feelings towards his moments of cowardice/bravery in the face of fascism and war--his italian roots. i think it's really revealing and honestly embarrassing for eco--it's treated like a neutral or even obvious thing for her to say and i think eco himself doesn't realize the extent to which it implies a rich and tortured inner life for amparo. the novel treats it as essentially the same feeling that casaubon has about his descent into conspiratorial thinking, but it's so obviously not--to be a white italian obsessed with the mysticism of european history is not the same thing as being a mixed-race brazilian woman embarrassed to find herself unable to be as intellectually detached from this aspect of her culture as her white boyfriend, as diotallevi says, you can't do whatever you want with the text. human history is not reducible to a struggle for control over telluric currents.

that's what makes it so frustrating for me--eco's racism, imperialism, and misogyny prevent him from seeing what could have been a really compelling avenue for furthering the themes of the text. but of course doing so would have involved actually giving a nonwhite female character a role in the text outside of furthering a white guy's character development

[princessmyriad]

.

[drhubrisworm]

The fact that this KEEPS HAPPENING