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#like he still has a billion contracts on his ass he still has to maintain contracts with celestia or the tsaritsa like he's not truly human
cometrose · 7 months
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Say, what do you think Zhongli struggled with the most after he started full-time cosplaying a mortal?
it’s kind of weird cause i feel like he struggled with everything and nothing at all
Obviously the first is not having unlimited money at his disposal to buy whatever he wanted. Zhongli lives a very elegant lifestyle. He wears outfits created by the adepti, he only takes the finest birds on walks he eats at the finest restaurants and he buys whatever he lays eyes on.
Then there is the fact that “Zhongli” is a permanent human and not a body Morax uses whenever he wants before transforming into another one. It would be funny if he woke up one morning wanting to shapeshift and having to stop himself mid transformation because humans don't normally grow floor length hair or swap genders overnight.
I always imagined Zhongli struggled keeping his Morax knowledge separate from his Zhongli knowledge. Morax knows the day everyone was born in Liyue, Zhongli does not. Morax knows the day each building was built, the day they built a pond in the harbor, he knows every business owner that has ever worked on his land but Zhongli should not.
But the thing about Zhongli I feel like he just learned to work around these problems without changing too much of himself lol. Like he cant buy everything he wants? Just get a wallet or get someone else to buy his things.
Too much knowledge? Great all of Liyue knows him as the all knowledgeable consultant who knows everything but nobody knows where he came from.
he’s too adored by the population for anyone to bother him about it.
Hu Tao mentions that Zhongli knows so much but has no worries so I think he just doesnt care? I think Zhongli just gets to stay the same cause everyone accepts his weirdness.
But seriously I think he struggles with contracts. He doesn't have the same authority to enforce contracts as before but he is still the god of contracts. So I think he has some dissonance in that regard, like he sees someone break a contract and if he were still Rex Lapis he would punish them but Zhongli has no such control. Considering how he worked around those fake archeologists in his first story quest, I think he if still wants to "punish" someone he has to approach the situation very differently.
Its funny to imagine Zhongli sees someone break and contract and chills run down his spine he feels faint but he can't do anything about. But then again Liyuens is pretty particular about contracts, so even if he cannot enforce them there are countless others (the qixing, the millelith, hell even yanfei) who will maintain order in his stead. i think it will work out
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timextoxhajima · 4 years
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Grounded: Level 3
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Level 2 | Level 4
Member: Minho (Lee Know)
Genre: idol minho x idol trainee reader
Taglist: @jaehyvnsvalentine​​ @licorice526 @lolwhatameme @felixn-recs​​
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[D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8]
“Do you need me to g-”
“No, please stay.”
Yeonjun turns to look at you, eyebrows furrowing because he can hear the fear in your voice. By now, he’s probably figured out how one-sided you’re feeling about your friendship with Minho. He knows you’re suppressing a backhanded anger for Minho - as much as you’re aware he cannot consistently keep up with your life, it wouldn’t have been difficult for him to drop you a text every now and then. 
“Are you sure?” Yeonjun looks up at the person you’re staring at, the distance slowly shrinking as Minho makes up his mind to walk towards the two of you. “I don’t want to be interrupting something important.”
“But he’s not the one who’s been helping me in a time I really need someone,” The thought being verbalised after such a long time leaves a disgusting linger on your tongue. 
“Wait, y/n, what does that mean-”
“It means I want him to choose.”
Yeonjun’s frown is now deeper into his forehead. Minho is about twenty metres from you. 
“Choose? You can’t expect him to choose between you and his career-”
“Why can’t I?” You are just a few notes lower than actually shouting. He’s about ten metres away now. “It’s been a year and it’s like he doesn’t remember I exist anymore.”
Yeonjun’s dark orbs are faltering as Minho closes in. Then he chooses to say something that deals a last blow to your logic. 
“If he’s forgotten about your existence then he wouldn’t be walking here right now.”
The whiplash in your neck shoots bolts into your skull when you suddenly turn to Yeonjun, your breathing becoming labored as Minho stops just about a metre away from you. 
“Can we talk?”
The way his voice manages to overwhelm the noise from the crowd is stunning. Then again, you haven’t heard him actually speak to you in about a year; it makes your heart want to stick itself through your chest like the Alien. 
“I’m surprised you’re even allowed to walk around in public without bodyguards.”
From the corner of your eye, you note Yeonjun turning his head away in slight frustration or disapproval. Minho shuts his eyes for a moment, like he’s guilty and he’s mustering up the courage to continue. 
“Contrary to popular belief, Stray Kids has a long way to go.”
The awkwardness in the air stings your nerves like water through dry, cracked skin. 
“Can we please... talk? I just... I know that I haven’t been around, especially when you needed help with training.”
“There’s nothing to worry about. I have Yeonjun to help me.”
Using Yeonjun as a shield doesn’t make you feel any better though. Instead, it hurts you more when you notice the hurt that’s beginning to brew in Minho’s face, despite half his face being covered by his mask. 
“And I’m happy for you,” Minho glances at Yeonjun, whose face was slightly contorted with a mixture of frustration and disapproval. He’s going to kill you when you get back to BigHit, but not in front of a debuted idol; not in front of a crowd. “But... I just wish we could go back to the way we were-”
Minho’s voice falters, and it’s a heavy blow on your angry stance in his presence. Starting to hear your heart in your left eye socket, the eyelid starts to twitch, and you can feel your nerves beginning to pull you backwards - away from Minho. 
The conflict within you crushes you faster than you expected - if you were even prepared for it at all. 
I hate it that I was the one who pushed you for it. I hate it that I was the one who told you to keep going. I hate it that I was the one who got so happy when you finally reached your dream. I hate it that I was the one who got mad when you prioritised your career. I hate it that I was the one who understood why you did it. I hate it that I was the one who chose to press and pull and pinch this friendship until it’s hurting me. 
I hate it that it looks like it’s hurting you... more than it’s hurting me.
“I won’t be where I am without you. I wouldn’t be standing here, worried about people figuring out who I am... Had you not given me the strength to go back.”
But you’ve always been the one who’s given me strength, not me to you. 
“I just wish we had more time,” He’s shaking his head ever so slightly, eyes finally travelling down when he realises he cannot maintain his disintegrating pride. “Please... I can’t- I can’t lose you. You’re one my best friends and I just... I can’t meet up with you as often as I do with my male friends because we’d both be screwed by the public-”
“And so... You forget that texting is a thing? Calling, maybe?”
Yeonjun sucks in a deep breath and intervenes, unable to contain his discontent with the way the conversation was developing. “y/n, he’s busy. He’s got a bunch of schedules to handle when he’s not vlogging his own private life. Give him a break.”
“A break?” It hurts on your heart because you were no longer sure where this anger was coming from. “Yeah, damn right he got a big break.”
“y/n!” Yeonjun snaps angrily, finally grabbing on your arm and nearly manhandling you backwards, away from Minho, like you were a feral dog. 
Minho’s eyes are set on the way Yeonjun’s staring at you, while your tear-glazed eyes are flitting from Yeonjun to your best friend - or at least, who was once your best friend. 
You don’t realise it until Yeonjun’s grip on your arm is holding you still - your arm was already trembling from the sheer amount of emotions ripping through you in the face of Minho. 
“If you have nothing better to say, then have this conversation another day. Right now, you’re being an ass and I would’ve slapped you if we were related.”
Aggressively yanking your arm out of Yeonjun’s hold, you shift backwards and glare at Minho. Angry that he’s not spared the minimum effort to reach out to you, you turn before he can see the first tear fall from your eyes. 
From afar, you can hear Minho say something to Yeonjun, but his voice is washed out by the swarming crowd as you rush through it in a bid to run back to your safe haven - right back to somewhere you’ve been emotionally condemning Minho for going to. 
How ironic. 
Once out along the streets and a safe distance away from the night market, the cold, almost-freezing air is threatening to solidify your tears on your cheeks. The bus stop is desolate, one of those stops that nobody waits at: that was how far you had run from where the night market was. 
The familiar pattern of shoes rustling and shuffling against the floor rushes nearby, then finally slows down to a stop next to you. Your gloves are stained with the tears had stained your face when you recklessly wipe them away, not bothering about how people probably already recognise you as a BigHit trainee. 
Yeonjun’s breathing calms from running after you, and you can feel his gaze tear through you, though in a different way than what Minho did.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
A sniffle clogs your nose. “No.”
“He cares, you know,” A pause. The tears run. “But what you said to him back there...”
Out of the corner of your eye, you see him look down at his feet and shake his head, his slightly tousled hair from the rushing bobbing up and down. 
“It wasn’t fair to him.”
Yeonjun’s comment weighed a billion tons your heart, for you know in the deepest crevices in your chest that it, in fact, was not fair.
A wince prowls over your face as you provide some kind of effort into hiding the sudden contortion when the need to cry overwhelms you. It takes you awhile to notice that the gleams in your eyes were no longer just the tears but also the snow that’s landing on the floor around your feet. 
Eyebrows furrowed and eyes finally clenched shut, your lips part to suck in the deepest, coldest breath you’ve ever taken. It feels like you’ve single-handedly destroyed the most important friendship in your life and there’s nothing you could do about it.
The breath exhaled is a thick, almost cotton-like cloud as your head hangs lower and lower until you feel a heavy scarf come around your neck. Yeonjun’s questionable boots come before yours as he wraps his scarf around you, gently patting you on the crown of your head.
“I know you have feelings for him. It’s the only reason why you’re reacting like this.”
In attempt to hide your frustration, you shove your hands into your pockets and clench your fists under the thick layer of the gloves. 
“But like I said before, y/n... If you’re doing this for him and not for yourself, then this isn’t an option,” He finally releases the scarf and takes a small step back. “You sign that contract and you’ll need to go through Hell just to get out of it.”
Relentless now, the tears. The snot’s that’s running down your philtrum’s staining his scarf too but- he probably can’t care less. You can’t care less. He’s seen right through you like glass and Minho- of all people- can’t see through you the same way Yeonjun does. 
The sound of cars whizzing past and people walking by was strangely comforting, albeit the storms and thunder claps in your head and heart. You’ve just flushed your friendship with Minho down the toilet bowl, and there was probably nothing that could atone for it. 
“Come on,” He starts, just loud enough for you to hear. “Let’s head back. The members are around, your trainees too- Hey, I heard the Bangtan hyungs are coming back tonight to celebrate the New Year with us.”
Great, another reminder. 
“Right,” You sniffle loudly and carelessly wipe away your mucus and tears, forcing a smile out through all that tainted happiness. “Haven’t seen them in awhile.”
Yeonjun looks back at you with eyes that know how you’re feeling, and he offers you one of his arms for you to slide under so he could protect you from all the ache in your chest.
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[F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 9]
스트레이키즈 현진 졸업식, '막내 아이엔이랑 왔어요'(Stray Kids, SOPA Graduation)
A scoff runs dry your lips, eyes travelling from the pixelated screen to the boy sitting next to you, swinging his legs childishly while sitting atop the railings. 
It’s fascinating, the way the school structured it’s pick up system. Idols or idol trainees could wait in a designated area for their respective vehicles or cars to come pick them up from the pick-up point - you were just lucky enough to know enough of these people to wait with them. 
“What?” Hyunjin whines, lips twisted downwards like those ‘colon and bracket’ sad faces. “It’s not my fault you watch so much Stray Kids’ content.”
Jeongin was fiddling with his sleeve when he finally looks up at you, and the boy decides to slap you across the face with words that you would’ve otherwise slapped him for.
“But don’t you only watch Lee Know hyung’s stuff?”
Hyunjin’s eyes dart to the younger, sucking his lips between in his teeth in a bid to hide his cheeky smirk. 
“Man’s got a point.”
“You two have a death wish.”
“Bye, Stray Kids!” You turn to see Daehwi and Woojin rushing for a black van. “Bye, y/n! I hope to see you on stage soon!”
“I’ll think about it!” Waving back aggressively, Daehwi giggles as he gets into the car after Woojin. 
Hyunjin, Jeongin and you wave at the passengers of the van as they drive off. Hyunjin was holding a bag full of bouquets whilst you were holding just two, one that Yeonjun and TXT had delivered and another from your fellow trainees. 
“You’re still thinking about that contract?”
“You make it sound like I’m thinking of buying a piece of clothing.”
“It’s just... you’ve gone so far. You’ve been training for- what? 2 years now? Stopping now would render your two years of training useless.”
“Look, I just need more time to... decide.”
Both boys turn to look at you, one obviously more aware of the situation than the other. Hyunjin’s brows are slightly furrowed when he can hear the weight in your voice.
His lips are parted just before he can say something, but a honk beeps him out of his train of thought.
“Oh! He’s here!” Jeongin hops off the railings and rushes to the side of the pavement. 
Hyunjin jumps off and turns to you first, eyes calming scanning your face that’s struggling to hide any hint of emotion.
“I think you should talk to him. He’s as upset and bothered about it as you are.”
Their pick-up stops right before Jeongin, who pulls open the door and climbs in first. 
Unable to set down your pride, you choose to look away, not noticing Hyunjin leaning into the car to get something before he climbs in himself.
“This,” He holds out a bouquet of roses and baby breaths wrapped in white and blue. 
For me?
“This is his apology. I think you have a part to play in this too.”
“Hyunjin-ah, time to go,” The manager calls out from inside, greeting you with a small wave from the drivers’ seat. Your smile is weak with the flowers in your hands, and Hyunjin gives you a gentle pat on the shoulder before he gets in the car again. 
Waving to Jeongin who was waving to you through the back window of the car, you can feel the weight of the flowers in your arm. After the car is out of sight, you look down and inspect the gift, picking out a small card with Minho’s handwriting on it. 
Happy Graduation! I hope you’re doing alright, and that you’re taking care of yourself well. I heard you’re still training at BigHit, and Yeonjun told Changbin that he’s debuting soon... which means he’s not around much to help you so, if you ever need help, you know who to look for.
Love, Minho 
Another horn blares you out of your raging calm - it’s your pick-up. Clutching the flowers tightly, there’s a growing desire to get to the point where he inspired you to work towards. 
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[M A R C H 2 0 1 9]
Surprise 모두 기립 박수
Suicide squad 현실판에
Frightening Let’s get burning now
The adrenaline is rushing through you a thousand miles per hour, any more and you could probably phase through a wall or something. It looks satisfying in the mirror, probably later when you monitor your progress but right now, all you were worried about were your arm angles and how your head isn’t moving according to the be--
Click
Two familiar heads of brown locks strut into the practise room, completely not fazing your lonesome performance in the sickening room. 
“Wow, ATEEZ?” Soobin chuckles as he walks in after Yeonjun. 
“I- It’s a- It’s a good song to practise my- stamina-” This last San bit is a pain in the ass.
“But an ATEEZ song?” Yeonjun winces at you through the reflection in the mirror as he watches you thud to the floor at the end of the performance. The music comes to a halt, slightly echoing in the studio. “It’s like you’re practising for a marathon.”
 “Well,” There is an apparent struggle to catch your breath while you remain on the floor, eyes looking up at the two boys. “Let’s just say if it’s one thing I’m getting an A for tomorrow at my evaluation, it’s going to be dancing, so...”
“That sounds like you,” Soobin nudges Yeonjun as he stretches a palm out for you to take. 
“Whoa,” Strutting over to your bottle by the mirror, you pull the cap off and raise a teasing brow at Soobin. “I don’t think you can ever compare me with the top trainee of BigHit.”
Soobin giggles at Yeonjun rolling his eyes in the mirror, just short of hurling something at you before he tackles you over and messes up your sweaty hair. But TXT was so well-received in their debut, it almost hurt to believe that you could be debuting as their first sister group. 
“How are your vocals and rapping? Didn’t you say they’ll only make you do monthly evaluations after you sign the contract?” The plastic bag that you didn’t notice from before gets taken away by Soobin, and he fishes out some bottles of energy drinks and some sandwiches.
“I could be better at singing... I assume... Yeah, no- I... I asked for the monthly evaluations.”
“What?” Soobin’s eyes are adorably enlarged, twice their original size. “Are you nuts? Just what have you gotten yourself into? My God, you’re even dumber than I thought.”
“I would second that,” Yeonjun points to you after pointing to Soobin with his thumb over his shoulder. “But, it’s a great way to maintain your progress.”
Then he goes over to sit down next to Soobin near the sound system. “Got anything you need help with?”
“Uh...” Running your fingers through your greasy hair, you rest your free hand on your hip, running the songs through your head like an archive. 
“Are you performing 3 songs for each category or- You’re not singing, rapping and dancing to ATEEZ, are you?!”
“The Hell- No!” You chuckle and wave the nonsensical conclusion off. 
“Oh, thank God,” Yeonjun clutches his chest. “Else, you could probably pack up and move out of your dorms by tomorrow evening.”
“If it’s one thing I’m getting that A for, it’s dancing. So... I could get all the help I could get.”
Yeonjun strolls towards the sound system where the player was, scrolling through the list of songs that were most commonly played. 
And so, Yeonjun and Soobin watch you slide across the floor while performing an EXO song, sing a song from HONNE, and completely forgo the rap section. Soobin’s tears of laughter stained the floorboards as Yeonjun rushes after you in a bid to tackle you and ruffle your already messy hair, because how dare you forget that rapping is a thing!
When they leave for their own training, the coolness of the studio finally sinks in after another long day. Your earbuds are finally useful now, after hours and hours of nothing but loud blasting so you can deafen and annoy yourself with the same songs over and over. 
난 알고 있어도 날 볼 수가 없어
답답해 제발 딱 한 번만
The studio lights are still finding some way to seep through your lids despite them being shut, and his voice feels like you’ve been pulled through Hell just to reach Heaven. But the lyrics have etched itself into your brain like carvings into stone, and it keeps you awake at night. 
Maybe you were overthinking, feeling all his emotions in those two lines he got in that song. But you heard something, even if it was just in your head, it was something.
He looks different now. The way he’s on stage, the way his nerves shift along with the beat, the way his voice comes out louder but still quieter than his heart and the thoughts in his head. He was never one to actually vocalise his feelings until he hits his tipping point... so, it’s a new kind of sour or bitter or all the tastes you dislike that lingers on your tongue. 
Lee Minho, you are one of a kind. 
Tiredness gets the better of you when you are aware you’re slowly drifting off to sleep. Your muscles have ached to the point where you no longer feel the pain; they just feel numb. The world starts to feel lighter, even if its the tiniest bit, as the exhausting slumber claims you...
Thus, it’s a startling surprise when you are jolted out of your sleep by someone tapping on your shoulders, and you are sure your eyes are bloodshot. 
“Oh, y/n!” It’s Jung Hoseok, J-Hope of BTS. “My God, did you sleepover?!” 
“Oh- I-” You pull your phone out of your pocket, realising it’s dead. “I guess I did... What time is it?” 
Hoseok immediately helps you up to your feet when he sees you struggling to get up, hair messy and smelling disgusting, probably. “Um, it’s 11am.”
“WHAT-” Hoseok hops back in surprise when you nearly yell in his face, and you fumble around to collect your things to return to the dorms to wash up, only for you to come back and continue before you were royally screwed over by the judging panel. “11?! I have an evaluation at 2pm!” 
“Wait, y/n! Didn’t you ask for this evaluation yourself? There isn’t a need to worry if you can’t make it for an unofficial one-”
“No, but I- I worked hard for this-” Grabbing your speaker and phone and charger and earpiece and earbuds and clothes and knee guards, you can feel the stress building up like Jenga in your stomach. “I can’t not get that A for dance at least-”
Then you are one feet out of the studio before you abruptly run into someone, nearly smashing your shoulder into the unknown stranger. 
That is, until you look up in a bid to apologise out of politeness.
But then there it is again, those dark brown feline eyes. It’s like you’ll never escape them; it’s like you’d always run into them when you least expect to. 
“Minho.”
He blinks, obviously surprised.
“y/n,” He glances above your head, possibly looking at J-Hope, before looking back down at you. “Are you... okay? You look like-”
“Shit?”
Minho purses his lips, unable to contain the little smirk that surfaces in the corner of his mouth before he panics and covers the bottom half of his face. Even you weren’t sure if you were making a joke about yourself, or that you were genuinely trying to rub it in his face that your friendship was as good as gone. 
“I was... going to say exhausted. But I assume you already know that?”
Tired, you run your hand through your slightly greasy hair, your bag slung messily over your shoulder. “Yes, I’m aware. And I have an evaluation to worry about in three hours so... I gotta bolt.”
It feels like you’re trying to shift mountains, looking at him in the eye. He isn’t that much taller but there’s definitely something different about him. Not to say that he was looking down on you, but he now walks with confidence on his shoulders and pride in his heart, and no matter how much you detested him for forgetting that you existed, you were happy for him. 
But of course, you’re prideful yourself, so you choose to look down and walk away from him. 
It’s time to worry about myself. 
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smokeybrand · 3 years
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That’s My Bulma
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I saw a meme saying that, because Bulma Briefs, specifically, is a billionaire, that she is the true villain of Dragon Ball. No mention of her Pops or Moms or Tights, just Bulma. The notion that Bulma can use her considerable resources to solve all the struggles before they even start but “chooses not to”, is what makes her a villain. Because of the billions. If I'm not mistaken, by the time we reach Super, the Briefs are the richest family in the world by a WIDE margin. Now, eat the rich or whatever but i will never stand for Bulma slander. Chick is the linchpin of the Z-Universe, the undercover MVP. Aside from, you know, bankrolling a lot of their adventures, she created the Gravity Room in which the Saiyans train, learned Namekian so she could fly a whole ass alien ship, Put up the entirety of the survivors when said Namek got Freezer’d, created the Dragon Radar, and built a whole ass time machine which directly lead to the extermination of Cell. But, wait, are we talking just pure cash? I’m sure there is more, but i know for a fact that she cashed out Seventeen and Eighteen in order to compete in The Tournament of Power and guess who the f*ck won that? Bulma’s cash infusion literally saved several - SEVERAL- universes. But f*ck that, right? Let’s humor this stupid f*cking meme and just go down the list of Z-Fighters and their “struggles.”
Goku, Chi Chi, and Goten
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Ox King is an actual king who lives in a castle full of treasure. I’m sure he cashes out for his princess daughter and her princely spawn. Goku is fine living off the land because that’s where Bulma found him. Before the Buu arc, they lived off Goku's tournament prize money which was more that enough to maintain the Son family lifestyle AND send Gohan to a private high school prestigious enough to house Mr. Satan’s daughter. I can guarantee you Videl wasn’t at any regular ass public school. After the Buu arc, they live off Satan's Peacetime Reward money. We actually see Hercule deliver the hundred million Zeni, personally, to Goku in the first episode of Super. The Son family, despite their appearance, is actually very, very, VERY, rich and has been since Goku won that first tourney. Verdict: What Struggle?
Krillin, Marron, Eighteen
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Krillin is a pedophile and his child bride extorted Satan for several hundred million Zeni during the Buu arc. She basically proved her strength at the punch-out machine so when Eighteen ended u being the final opponent in that tourney, Satan paid her substantially more than the prize money to throw the fight and maintain his celebrity. At that point, her family is set for life. However, Eighteen then got cashed off a few million more, by Bulma, for entering into the Tournament of Power. They're set for life twice over. Plus, Krillin is a cop. What about before, you ask? Well, Krillin was a whole ass monk before. They swear off world possessions. He lived with Master Roshi, who owns his own island. There was no need for Bulma to intervene at that point. Verdict: How is there a Struggle?
Piccolo
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Former God who now lives with current God. He's also a slugman alien who was once confused for the Devil. No need for earthly desires. Verdict: Where is the Struggle?
Tenshinhan and his normal type Chiaotzu
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Actual monks that live in the woods or some sh*t. I think Tien re-opened the Crane school by Super? They live that life detached from worlds desires and just train to get big, i guess? I mean, i know Tie trains his shoulders because f*ck! Either way, Tien wouldn’t even ask for Bulma’s loot. That’s not how he lives his life. Chiaotzu just does whatever Tien tells him. Dude is like a white shadow that way. Verdict: Struggle proof.
Punished Yamcha and the virgin Puar
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Listen, let’s get this out of the way; Yamcha is trash water. He washed out early in Z, a non-factor during the Saiyan arc. Mans got murdered by a f*cking Saibaman and not even strong one. A f*cking Raditz level Saibaman! Nappa was worth five Raditz!. By the time Cyborg Feezer and King Cold come to earth, he’s retired from martial arts. Dude is a scrub, by Z-Fighter standards. All that said, by regular human standards, the Wolf Fang Fist is a Wolf Fang God. Farmer with a Shotgun has a power level of five. The last time we clocked Yamacha, he was sitting at an estimated around ten thousand in That Time I Got Reincarnated as Yamcha. I’m sure he’s stronger than that later in the main timeline but, as a benchmark, that ten large makes him substantially more powerful than any human which lends itself to being an absolute walking Chip for his professional Baseball team. Yeah, Yamcha is a Batting God and probably signs multi-million dollar contracts to literally hand titles to the franchise who has the highest bid. Man’s jobs hard in the world of Z-Fighters but, out among the mellow men, he’s set for life. Verdict: His whole life is a Struggle but money is never part of that.
Gohan, Videl, Pan
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Videl is a literal Satan. She’s the daughter of the “World’s Savior”. Satan has more money that probably everyone in that world save The Briefs. Satan absolutely spoils Videl, which was a point of contention in their relationship when she was teenager, but that doting never changed. Even as an adult, he gushes over his daughter and, now that Pan is around, it’s doubly worse. Plus, he knows that Gohan killed Cell. Dude holds that kid in super high esteem. Being part of the Stan family, alone, is enough to set Gohan’s family up for generations but, again, he’s still Ox King’s, an actual treasure rich king of a territory, grandson and Goku’s, mans is best friends with the richest woman in the world and just got handed a cool hundred mil, oldest son. Verdict: Never Struggle.
We don’t dismiss Bulma around these parts, bud. She’s amazing, considerate, and brilliant. Ma is a solid wife, a fantastic mother, and a great f*cking friend. She helped to rehabilitate the second strongest motherf*cker on the planet, arguably the universe now that Getes has access to Ultra Ego, and raised Future Trunks into the most upstanding motherf*cker in the Z-Crew, Gohan included. Knowing her personality, knowing her need to solve problems, i imagine she’s used her cash and influence in more, practical, social ways as well. Aside from the fact the current iteration of the Capsule tech is her own design, there’s is definitely more she’s doing behind the scenes because why wouldn’t she? Bulma can be self-serving and is laughably vain, but she’s a solid chick, with an unassailable morality, and a giant heart. There’s no way she’s even a secondary antagonist, let alone the villain of that story.
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atypedarc1 · 5 years
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SMUT  PROMPTS   (  party : our muses having sex at some sort of get-together  )   –––   @rebeltyped
             LOVERS  HAVE  REACHED  THE  POINT  WHERE  THEY  CAN  COMMUNICATE  WITH  JUST  A  FEW  GLANCES.     summer get - togethers were becoming tradition,  even though the only thing this motley crew of young adults had in common was the fact that they all competed on chris mclean’s thinly veiled attempt at torture porn.    AH,  TO.TAL  DRAMA –––  where would courtney be without you ??   well,  probably interning at parliament hill instead of having to defer her admissions because they were on hold for a third season of the show.  she was still sun - kissed from what was nothing short of a HONEYMOON with duncan,  something he splurged on after winning the million dollars last season.  it had been rocky at first and they had had a lot to discuss,  namely how her parents insisted on getting between them and imposing strict conditions on their relationship, ones that courtney had tried to impose rather heavy handedly.  the contract is nothing but a distant memory,  replaced by new ones like snorkelling and having brunch on the beach.
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        GEOFF’S  PARTIES  WERE  ALWAYS  WILD,  THERE  WAS  NO  GETTING  AROUND  IT.    even though duncan was often glued to his friend’s side and ready for whatever the blond would throw his way,  courtney could sense that her boyfriend was getting a little worn and torn,  probably still jet lagged from their holiday.  courtney maintains eye contact with duncan,  nods her head to invite him over to join her on the couch.  after a minute or two, duncan eventually makes his way over to her and sits down ;  her legs instinctively perch over his lap and she settles in close, careful not to spill her drink as they decompress a little bit.  a small bubble forms around the two, as it often does when it’s just the two of them ;  when she sees those bright blue eyes and that boyish grin, the rest of the room can’t help but disappear.
         FLIRTING  IS  ALSO  AS  EASY  AS  BREATHING,  AND  BEING  TIPSY  DOESN’T  HELP.     while courtney would normally shoot down his corny attempts at getting in her pants    ( “oh my god is that seriously the ONLY THING that’s on your mind ??  why am i not surprised,” )    she was far more receptive and it doesn’t take long for them to slip away upstairs to one of the many guest rooms upstairs.  the two are on autopilot,  the door shut and locked by duncan as his lips hone in on courtney’s neck.  she’s grinning ear to ear as her arms raise, he’s fluid in helping her out of her sun dress and kissing whatever skin he can find, impatient to get the fabric gone and out of the way.  her arms lower and her hand then moves to cradle his cheek.  with a gentle nudge, she tilts his head just slightly so she can kiss him for what was surely the thousandth time.  it could be a billion times and she would never get tired of it.  courtney can’t help but tease him for the coors light she can taste on his tongue and he chuckles in response. duncan continues to undress her against the door, using skilled fingers to multitask and undo her bra clasps with one hand whilst his other fumbles with the zipper of his trousers.  more and more of her nerves experience a flood of joy as his warm skin greets her own.
            HER  HANDS  MEET  HIS  CHEST  AS  SHE  MARCHES  HIM  TO  THE  BED.    the backs of duncan’s knees hit the edge of the mattress and courtney crawls after him.  his hands land in their favourite spot, the curve of her ass, and she feels him smirk into their kiss as he gives a firm squeeze.  the groan she makes is muffled, her hands are on either side of his head before she reaches to spring him free from his boxers.  the sound of the party below is muffled but she can hear every noise he makes loud and clear, and it was fucking beautiful. the low rumble of his voice in the back of his throat as she hears that sweet, sweet word –––  princess –––   it only motivates her more.  courtney moans herself as she strokes him, gasping gently as his own hand finds the apex of her thighs to get her nice and excited. when it becomes too much to bear he rolls them over, kicks off his boxers and grips her hips to angle her right.  the first plunge has her seeing stars, and her head remains in the clouds as he has her seeing those stars with each and every thrust.  every gesture, every smile, every kiss was purposeful. every motion was love. at their peak, duncan and courtney feel invincible.
A  SHAME  TO  KNOW  THAT  IN  6  WEEKS  TIME,  THAT  INVINCIBILITY  WOULD  COME  TO  AN  END.
MEME  STATUS :  VERY  SELECTIVELY  ACCEPTING
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aion-rsa · 3 years
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Why The Forever Purge Is the Series’ Most Relevant Movie Yet
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In The Forever Purge, the fifth movie in the dystopian action-horror franchise which began in 2013 with writer-director James DeMonaco’s The Purge, the totalitarian regime known as the New Founding Fathers of America (NFFA) are back in power after having been booted out of office in 2016’s The Purge: Election Year. Right off the bat, they’ve reinstated Purge Night, the annual event in which all crime — up to and including murder — is legal for 12 hours from dusk to dawn, with no consequences.
But something goes awry in The Forever Purge: a breakaway movement using terms like “Forever After Purge” intends to keep the violence going after the 12 hours are up, instituting a permanent Purge with which they intend to “cleanse” the United States of those they deem not fit to be Americans. Immigrants are, of course, at the top of their list, but so are the wealthy — and the NFFA themselves may be in the line of fire as well.
“This is the first Purge movie where there are no rules,” says producer Jason Blum, whose Blumhouse Productions has been a producing partner on all five Purge films as well as a spin-off 2018-2019 TV series. “All the rules go out the window. It’s just total anarchy. I think [the film] says that you can try and control anarchy for a certain amount of time, but eventually anarchy controls you and that’s what happens in this movie.”
The parallels with real life, always lurking near the surface of the Purge films, are even more eerily prescient in The Forever Purge. The scenes of “Purge Purification” militants battling the Army and running wild through the streets of American cities are a little too close to the horrifying footage from last January 6, when hundreds of traitors and seditionists stormed the U.S. Capitol and killed cops in an effort to overthrow American democracy in favor of a lunatic cult leader.
Incredibly, James DeMonaco — who has written all five Purges and directed the first three — envisioned all this for The Forever Purge a couple of years before the events of January 6 even took place (the movie, directed by Everardo Valerio Gout, was completed in early 2020 and was set to arrive last summer until the pandemic delayed all film releases).
“James says that for a bunch of these movies, he’s kind of seeing the future,” says Blum. “The movie was wrapped a long time ago, before the pandemic. It was supposed to come out last summer. We chose to hold it because of the pandemic. I think James has really seen the future a bunch of times in these movies. I was asked in an earlier interview if he made changes based on current events. He did not. He has this unique ability to kind of see the future that he exercises in The Purge franchise.”
“I get so many calls from Jason, [saying], ‘How did you predict all this?’” says DeMonaco. “I’m like, ‘Listen, I’m not happy I did it.’ It’s a combination of shock and sadness that these grotesque things I wrote two years ago are kind of coming true in an odd way. Not fully true, but some permutation of it. I wish these films didn’t have any resemblance to our current society at all. That would make me much happier if we lived in complete harmony and the Purge films were not relevant to society.”
DeMonaco says he first “saw the seeds of discord” two and a half years ago, and that — coupled with the ongoing news about a border crisis and his desire to work a love story into a Purge film — gave him the initial ideas for The Forever Purge.
“The current political climate always seeps its way into the writing because it’s a political conceit to purge,” he explains. “I mean, first and foremost, they need to be bad-ass horror action films. Then the socio-political underpinnings can seep in underneath that.”
Although DeMonaco says that it’s “unavoidable” that current events have found their way into all five theatrical entries in the Purge franchise, Blum maintains that filmmakers don’t necessarily have an obligation to comment on real-life developments in their films, even when working in a genre like science fiction or horror that can indirectly touch on such subjects.
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“I don’t know if they have an obligation to do anything,” says the producer of such long-running franchises as Insidious, Paranormal Activity, and others. “I hope their obligation is to make great, entertaining, interesting movies. That said, if they have something they want to say about the world we live in, horror is a great way to say it because it means people will actually listen.”
Blum continues, “[If] you make a movie about a lesson, no one’s going to watch it. But…if you think of a clever conceit for a horror movie and you want to kind of ‘Trojan horse’ an idea about society into that movie, that’s a great way to get your idea forward. But we also make a lot of scary movies that have nothing to say besides the fact they’re fun and scary.”
DeMonaco agrees that it’s easier to get a message into a movie hidden inside the tropes of horror, sci-fi, or dystopian fiction, which is the way he approaches each of the Purge entries. “I read a lot of sci-fi growing up — Dune, Ringworld, all the great stuff,” he says. “Even watching the movies, from Soylent Green to all the John Carpenter stuff, they did it amazingly. John’s the master at sneaking socio-political content into a genre piece. [George A.] Romero too.”
According to DeMonaco, director Martin Scorsese coined the term “smuggler’s cinema” when speaking about the great directors of the 1940s and ‘50s, like Anthony Mann or John Ford, who were contracted by the studios to make nothing but war movies or Westerns.
To keep themselves interested, they would “smuggle” ideas into the pictures: “[Scorsese] says, if you watch these movies closely, they’re incredibly political because the directors were smuggling the ideas,” says DeMonaco. “I always say with The Purge we’re doing the same thing.”
But DeMonaco is quick to add with a laugh that the Purge films “aren’t all that subtle.” He elaborates, “The new one especially is not the most subtle thing, but it still has the trappings of the genre. There are some people who just watch it and find it to be incredibly fun, and horrific, and a crazy conceit.”
It’s hard to believe that the “crazy conceit” behind the movies — the first four of which have grossed nearly half a billion dollars worldwide combined — first took root in DeMonaco’s imagination back in the early 2000s, following an incident in which he and his wife were nearly taken out by a drunk driver. His wife, enraged by the occurrence and the person, remarked, “I wish we all had one free one.”
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The idea sat with DeMonaco for several years after that, until he found himself living in Paris, where the New York City native noticed something: “No one I met had a gun,” he recalls. “None of the French friends I made in Paris over the year I was there had a gun. I started thinking back to Staten Island, Brooklyn, New York, LA, seven out of 10 people I could probably name, even people that you wouldn’t think had a gun, had a gun in the home.”
DeMonaco says that led him to become “very curious about America’s relationship to weaponry and violence,” adding, “Coupling that with my wife’s idea, that’s where the initial idea of the Purge was spawned.”
But DeMonaco admits that even he didn’t see the commercial appeal of the concept until Blum came along: “We were having trouble getting financing. Jason saw the potential commercial success that it could be. So it’s been the strangest journey, man. We never thought we’d be five movies in, thinking about a sixth, with a TV show in the can. It’s been a strange time.”
The Forever Purge is out in theaters Friday (July 2).
The post Why The Forever Purge Is the Series’ Most Relevant Movie Yet appeared first on Den of Geek.
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lastsonlost · 7 years
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The Ultimate Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model)
I don’t know the first thing about the military but this is made laugh my ass off.
Upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations (AO)...
Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.
USAF O-6 and above: "Get that damned snake off the fairway!"
Armor: Runs over snake. Never knows it,as well as where the tank and the snake is on the battlefield. Continues directly ahead wondering what all those new buttons in his turret do.
Army Aviation: Has GPS ten digit grid to snake. Stands off at a range greater than any other weapon system and destroys snake with precision fires at a cost equivalent of one Mercedes 350SEL. Returns to base for fighter management and a "cool one".
Army Shrink: Attempts to get snake to explain its sexual feelings about its mother.  
Army Chaplain: Tries to get snake to attend services, mend its ways.
USAF Combat Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere.
Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in depth analysis based on obscure 5 series FM about how to defeat snake using counter mobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don't understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake operations. (Engineer School tries to hide the fact that M9 ACE proves ineffective against snakes).
Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i.e., cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.
Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.
Military Intelligence, G-2: Snake? What snake? Only four of 35 indicators of snake activity are currently active. We assess the potential for snake activity as LOW.
Judge Advocate General (JAG): Snake declines to bite, citing professional courtesy.
Force Recon: Follows snake, gets lost.
USMC Infantry: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area of Operations.
Army Mech Infantry: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.
Military Intelligence, S-2: Reports to ground troops that snake is a non-combatant. Six Infantry wounded. MI states that if the ground forces would have read the nesting diagram provided in the 24 page enemy intel report, they would have known the snake was a possible threat.
Military Police, Criminal Investigation: Handcuffs snake's head to its tail, reads it its Miranda rights, then proceeds to beat snake to a pulp with night stick.
USAF Missileers: Lays in target coordinates to snake in 20 seconds, but can't receive authorization from National Command Authority to use nuclear weapons.
Military Police, Field: Snake safely infiltrates rear area of operations.
Navy SeaBees: Build snake elaborate rec room, complete with secret still.
Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and several grenades, then calls for naval gunfire in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites the SEAL, and dies of salt water poisoning. Hollywood makes film in which SEALS kill Muslim extremist snakes.
Navy, Surface Action Group: Fires off 50 cruise missiles fro several ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force projection.
Ordnance: IDs snake as having improper scales. Deadline snake and order parts against snake. Parts come in 15 days later but the snake has been upgraded to FMC due to scrounging of parts through improper channels.
USAF Para-Rescue: Lands on snake upon descending, thereby injuring it, then feverishly works to save the snake's life.
USAF Pilot, A-10: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can't find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure.
USAF Pilot, B-52: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and every other living thing within two miles of target.
USAF Pilot, F-15: Misidentifies snake as enemy Mil-24 Hind helicopter and engages with missiles. Crew chief paints snake kill on aircraft.
USAF Pilot, F-16: Finds snake, drops two CBU-87 cluster bombs, and misses snake target, but gets direct hit on Embassy 100 KM East of snake due to weather (Too Hot also Too Cold, Was Clear but too overcast, Too dry with Rain, Unlimited ceiling with low cloud cover etc.) Claims that purchasing multimillion dollar, high-tech snake-killing device will enable it in the future to kill all snakes and achieve a revolution in military affairs.
USAF Pilot, Fighter, Generic: Mis-identifies the snake as a HIND and engages it with missiles. Crew Chief paints snake on airplane.
USAF Pilot, Transport: Receives call for anti-snake equipment, and delivers two weeks after due date.
Army Pilot, AH-64 Apache: Unable to locate snake, snakes don't show well on infrared. Infrared only operable in desert AO's without power lines or SAM's.
Army Pilot, HH-53 Jolly Green Giant: Finds snake on fourth pass after snake builds bonfire, pops smoke, lays out flares to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into fire.
Joint Security Area (JSA) Korea: Puts on Class B uniform and stares snake down for 40 years. Snake dies of old old age, but son of snake assumes staring contest.
Army Cavalry Troopers: Shoots near snake to prevent it from crossing FLOT because their mission is "Screen" and Not "Destroy." Put in for Silver Star, but is downgraded to ARCOM w/ "V" Device. Cav is successful in not becoming "Decisively Engaged"
NTC O/C: Shoots snake with Godgun, tells it to take off its fangs and wait for Medivac. Other Snakes berated in AAR for not knowing their 9-Line Medivac.
Military Intelligence (Tactical): Puts Rubber Snakes around Snake as "Battle Field Deception." Junior MI Soldier left near to make hissing noises because sound system is deadlined.
Retired SGM working at CIF: Gives snake a statement of charges for not having the same skin it was issued. Snake goes and kills other snake; Tries to turn in other snakes' skin. Spends 8 hours in CIF parking lot washing skin.
ROTC Cadet: Cadet dies of Snake Bite after asking Snake how he did at "Advance Camp"
SFOD-D: Deploys 2 man SR Team to maintain "eyes on" while squadron prepares for deployment. $2.1 M. worth of "Discretionary" funds are used to contract a company to produce a .50 cal subsonic round whose weapon effect closely resembles a mongoose bite. FBI's HRT is deployed to stand around while an Operator shoots the snake with the "Mongoose Round" while wearing an HRT Jacket. SFOD-D Cooks and Clerks expend a total of 1.7 Million Rounds of ammo back at Bragg so that it looks like SFOD-D was never deployed...
Army or Marine Quartermaster: Encounters snake, then loses contact. Can not identify who owns snake by hand receipts. Orders new snake through supply channels. Request is denied by higher authority; issuing the unit a snake will bring the manager to a zero balance; one snake must remain on hand at all times as per their boss' guidance.
Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.
USAF Ground Crew:  Runs back to truck after sighting snake, then after a half hour, sends lowest ranking airman out to beat snake to death with a set of wheel chocks.
USMC Band, "The President's Own": Oboe player charms snake into a saxophone case, which is then presented as a gift to former president Bill Clinton.
Army Band, "Pershing's Own": Snake's head crushed with a mallet by bass drum player. Snakeskin turned into cool sash for drum major.
Signal, Enlisted: Tries to communicate with snake . . . fails despite repeated attempts. Complains that the snake did not have the correct fill or did not know how to work equipment a child could operate.
Signal, Officer: Informs the commander that he could easily communicate with the snake using just his voice. Commander insists that he NEEDS to videoconference with the snake, with real-time streaming positional and logistical data on the snake displayed on video screens to either side. Gives Signal Corps $5 Billion to make this happen. SigO abuses the 2 smart people in the corps to make it happen, while everybody else stands around, bitches, and takes credit. In the end, GTE and several sub-contractors make a few billion dollars, the two smart people get out and go to work for them, and the commander gets what he asked for only in fiber-optic based simulations. The snake dies of old age.
Staff Judge Advocate (JAG): Swear they saw something like that on the Discovery Channel . . . spend weeks arguing if it was a snake or not.
Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all State Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel settlement upon return.
Supply: (NOTICE: Your anti-snake equipment is on backorder.)
Transportation Corps: "Snake? What snake? We were sleeping in the truck."
US Congress Representative (D):  After initially voting in favor of anti-snake military action, suddenly realizes that the snake can never be defeated. Goes on TV and describes current operations as 'failed' before they begin and the calls the leading herpetologist in the world 'incompetent'. Pleads with snake not to hurt us. Then introduces legislation to re-deploy all military forces to Okinawa where they can more effectively engage snakes, world-wide. Then heads overseas to attempt to negotiate our surrender to the snake. Takes intern for 'support'.
Embed Main-Stream-Media Reporter: Decides snake is patriotic nationalist agrarian reformer being molested by imperialist U.S. forces, asks snake for directions to nearest bar. If bitten by snake, charges U.S. troops with neglect of duty to protect freedom of the press.
Public Affairs Officer: "We cannot comment on any snake-related activities, and anyway that would be up to the snake's chain of command to provide comments, if any are applicable. Be sure to check out our website on 'How to handle snakes in your AO' for the current command guidelines on snakes."
Naval Aviator, Jets:  Lobbies Congress for new funds to buy "Snake-seeking ordnance," while pressing the point that blue-water ops are the only effective way to display American might to the snake and have a psychological effect on it. Gets funds, then launches strike. Can't drop on Snake due to targeting pod being "bent." Has to jettison multi-million dollar Anti-Snake Bomb into ocean. Comes back to boat and traps on pitching deck in dead of night while bitching about how "Snake gets ten-thousand feet of solid runway to do this $%!T on." Proceeds to blame maintenance chief for bent pod. Chief goes out to jet, pulls tapes, finds that pod was never switched to "ON" position.
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tenkohime · 7 years
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Zero Escape Headcanons & Crack Theories
One of the things I like about this series is that since the Multi World Theory is true in it, it’s really fun to come with theories for it. I have a buttload of them, so I’m going to organize them by character.
Gentarou Hongou
Headcanon
He’s a member of Free the Soul of Y. Actually, everyone responsible for the Nonary Project was a member.
Light Field
Headcanon
While modern technology could restore his sight, he never feels the need to do so.
He’s really upset and disappointed that Clover made fun of Sigma for only having one eye.
He will kick Sigma’s perverted ass for being a scumbag to Clover.
He dies of Radical-6.
Crack Theory
One of his groupies is the religious fanatic that killed eight billion people.
Aoi Kurashiki
Headcanon
He dies of Radical-6.
Clover Field
Headcanon
Part of the reason she acts so strangely during the AB Game is that she can’t access her brother’s morphogenetic field. The other part is obfuscating stupidity. Her act would have worked if the situation was as she believed it to be. Since it’s not, she comes off as an idiot instead of cunning.
She is fine with older men. Her hangup with Sigma is that he is a perverted piece of trash. OTOH Junpei is her type.
Junpei Tenmyouji
Headcanon
Sudoku is his hobby. After he finishes his coursework, he lays down in bed and solves puzzles until he falls asleep.
During the AB Game, he is still able to SHIFT, but he does it instinctively instead of aiming for a certain time and place like in the Decision Game. During the AB Game, when Sigma trips out when Tenmyouji voted differently in one history than in another, and Tenmyouji begins to ask Sigma questions, if Sigma had answered Tenmyouji’s questions instead of dodging them, then Tenmyouji would’ve told Sigma. He doesn’t remember it being called SHIFT, though. He just knows he can do it.
The Free the Soul HQ he and Seven busted was the real deal. Not a decoy. Brother was salty AF about it, so that’s why the AB Game puzzle makes his team mates microwave his hand, like it’s a fucking Hot Pocket or some shit.
Akane Kurashiki
Headcanon
Akane is a cat that like rabbits. She’s the cat in all of the Nonary Games and in the Decision Game, her avatar is a knock-off Nendoroid cat girl.
Cats normally eat rabbits. Sigma is the rabbit. So, it’s natural she kidnaps him, but she likes rabbits, so she is doing what she thinks is best for them.
Following the second Nonary Game, most of the members of Cradle Pharmeceutical’s board of directors died or went to prison. After that, Crash Keys, under a pseudonym, became the majority shareholder, but they do not control the corporation. They do make money off of it, though, and they access to all kinds of “toys”. Wonderful, wonderful “toys”!
She makes an unusually large amount of money off of licensing Lagomorph’s design to companies. Post-apocalyptic businesses just think it’s the cutest thing. Sigma gets a cut, of course.
Part of the reason she’s so inhuman in the future is that so many of the people who grounded her are dead. She could have prevented their deaths, but if she had, then she would not know how to prevent even more people from dying, since the only future she knows where two billion people are alive is the one where the AB Game takes place.
Her password is on her ID, because she keeps forgetting it. She’s a klutz like that.
Crack Theory
She and Carlos are Quark’s grandparents. After the Decision Game ended and Radical-6 was unleashed upon the world, she found out everything about the future. Since she then had to recreate that future in order to close that time loop, Quark has to be alive in the future to be in the AB Game and Junpei has to find him with his dead birth parents. Carlos and their children all died of Radical-6. Carlos knew this was going to happen, but was on board with it, because the alternative sounded even worse. 
Seven
His real name is embarrassing. Like Nana. His name is Nana.
Hazuki Kashiwabara
She was on the verge of finding out everything. Every fucking thing. Her kidnapping was very much a thou knoweth too much sort of thing.
Sigma Klim
Headcanon
Sigma is a rabbit that likes cats. He’s the man on the moon, like the rabbit of the moon. According to Chinese folklore, the rabbit of the moon is making medicine and he’s a doctor and he really does have medicine. He has the most children, one of them is a rabbit, and another is known for jumping and kicking like a rabbit. He is tied for having the longest legs with his sons. His 67 year old body and his daughter both have white hair, like a stereotypical white rabbit. One of his sons has pink hair, like a pink bunny rabbit, though it’s really from his gray and red hair making it look pink. Heck, even Sigma being a pervert when he was 22 is rabbit-like. Screwing like rabbits, anyone?
Cats eat rabbits. If Akane is a cat and Sigma is a rabbit, then is it surprising he ends up kidnapped by her?
The cats that granted him the ability to talk to cats, cursed him to speak only in cat puns, and cursed him to speak in cat puns whenever he talks about cats were the cat version of espers. They gave him access to the cat morphogenetic field. Since there aren’t many human minds with access the cat field, this is how all cats can understand him and he can understand all cats. The curse was transmitted to the field and specified Sigma. This is why it only affects him and not Kyle. It would affect transporter clones, though, since it copies the mind too.
He was originally studying to become a veterinarian. This is how he was able to give Diana an answer about how much the food in the bar would last them. One of the puzzles in Rhizome-9 was about human nutrition, so it stands to reason that he knows that from experience. But dog nutrition? One of his skills is the ability to memorize all kinds of shit. That’s an invaluable skill for a student trying to get a DVM to have. He probably memorized that. Also, he loves animals. Not just cute and fluffy ones either. During the AB Game, he actually felt bad about the dead frog.
As fucked up as it is, he was happy about not having to pay back his student loans after the economic collapse brought forth in the wake of Radical-6.
67 year old!Sigma finished all of his coursework early before going to DCOM, because in the worst case scenario, he had to maintain the timeline of turning everything in on time. In the best case scenario, no more coursework! Yay!
He has contracted every cat zoonotic disease, even the fatal ones.
His 21 year old body has Toxoplasma gondii. His 67 year old body does not, because he sought treatment for that a long time ago.
He wants to have a cat, but the universe keeps conspiring against him to not let him have a cat. His parents won’t let him have one and cats don’t take well to the low gravity of the moon.
He relates to that Can’t Hug Every Cat video too damn much. He watches it and cries.
He LHAO when he watches videos with trained cats that having people overdubbing them, because it sounds like bad lip syncing to him.
He cries when he watches those ads with the sad cats, because he can understand him. If he couldn’t, then he’d still be really sad. Because, come on, they’re just so sad.
He has no reason to believe dogs can’t be understood as much as cats can. When he talked to Gab, it was less a man talking to an unthinking thing than it was as a person talking to a being speaking a language he couldn’t understand.
All of the books in his library that aren’t used to do AB Game puzzles are about cats. All of them. Every single fucking one.
He could’ve picked any damn book about quantum mechanics to use for the AB Game. He picked the one with cats on the cover, because kitty.
Akane had to work really hard to convince Sigma not to make a cat AI.
Akane: Like, I saw the future and it was a rabbit.
Sigma: But kitty. 
He can’t die of old age. His children can’t either.
He told his parents everything. They believed him. They weren’t even surprised. They were just, like, oh, of course, things like this always happen to you. Then, his mom was, like, yay, grandkids!
His parents are untrained espers around Light’s and Clover’s levels. They knew something bad was going to happen to Sigma around Christmas, but they weren’t sure what. That’s why they were trying to convince him to come over for the holiday.
67 year old!Sigma is rich, but he has Lagomorph keep track of his finances, so he doesn’t know off of the top of his head how much money he has.
He doesn’t know Akane made Lagomorph licensing deals. He know he’s making money off of something, but he never cared to ask what.
His prosthetic eye can take photos. The feed can also be changed to any camera in Rhizome-9.
You could have sex with the GAULEMs. As perverted as 22 year old!Sigma is, I’d be more concerned if you couldn’t. He’d explain it as that if he wants to replicate the reality of the human condition and sexuality is a part of that, then he would have to include it to get accurate results. He had sex with only the chassis from Hephaestus Systems used as the base for all of them to make sure it worked.
During the AB Game, he didn’t notice he was a young man in an old man’s body, even though there were reflective surfaces around, because he’s a pervert and whenever he’s around water or something, he’s also around women. Why would he want to look at himself when he look at ass and titties instead?!
Sailor Moon is his favorite show. It has everything. Women, talking cats, magic, swim suits...
Phi
Headcanon
1904!Phi and Delta weren’t raised together. One of the researchers already had a baby and didn’t feel they could take care of them both, so they took in Delta and the other researchers raised Phi.
The researchers had no idea how the transporter worked. They put Phi in there and pushed random buttons. That’s why she was sent to 2028 instead of some time more practical for the researchers to research how the transporter to work, such as seconds into the future.
2028!Phi still keeps contact with the researchers who raised her. Heck, she’s even friends with the ones who use social media. She has a feeling that old pink haired lady with impeccable fashion sense would like to know what she found out during the Decision Game.
There’s no reason the Phi and Sigma on the moon can’t SHIFT to different 2028 histories. Otherwise, the anagram The Man on the Moon Rules Infinite Time wouldn’t make sense. It would have to be The Man on the Moon Rules Some Time, which is not as impressive. The problem is they have to figure out what those histories are and neither are extremely good at receiving from the morphogenetic field. So, they’d have to train to get good enough to receive the information that a different past history existed.
Crack Theory
1904!Phi is Aoi and Akane’s ancestor. That’s why Aoi looks like Phi and why all of them are espers.
Kyle Klim
Headcanon
If he were allowed to dress himself, he would dress like weeaboo trash.
Quark
Headcanon
He’s an esper in the same way all humans are espers. He’s not strong enough to be considered one like Clover. Because the morphogenetic field is real and because danger and epiphany make it easier to access it, when he was about to commit suicide while infected by Radical-6 during the AB Game, he started talking about Free the Soul, because he was receiving that information from the morphogenetic field.
Crack Theory
Akane and Carlos are his biological grandparents. A Myrimidon is his biological great grandfather. That means no matter what, he’ll end up teamed up with a relative during the AB Game. Since relatives are shown to form receiver-transmitter relationships more easily, him talking about Free the Soul could be because he’s getting information from them.
Dio/Left
Headcanon
Dio’s only bald faced lie is that he was kidnapped at a gas station. All of his other lies have a grain of truth to them. Free the Soul of Y really does own a circus and the leader of the Myrmidons is its ringleader. When the leader gets killed on a mission, his successor becomes the next ringleader. The circus’s employees just think it’s a family business and that the ringleaders just have a strong family resemblance. A Myrmidon is Carlos and Maria’s father, so he really did have a baby daughter. He really is interested in space. He likes cats and dogs equally, because he had a pet cat and Brother had a pet dog. He told the truth about killing Akane for the bracelet and not killing anyone else. The penalties technically killed his other victims, but they could’ve avoided the penalty if they were okay with going through severe physical pain. Everything he said about Free the Soul was true. He doesn’t lie in any of his in character puzzle hints either.
He has three jobs, assassin, ringleader, and geneticist. The geneticists who were kidnapped and tortured to death taught him everything they knew.
His gentlepoints really are high. Gentleman assassins exist.
The password to Sean’s helmet is Left’s birthday backwards. It’s also the date Sigma sent his twins to. This is why the researcher couldn’t take both of the twins in. Only one. That one was Delta. Since they didn’t take Phi, this is why she was used to test the transporter.
Left is not a code name. That’s his real name. His parents had tons of names in mind, but after his mom saw him, she was, like, “Left. He just looks like a Left.” But in German. And the rest was history.
His knife has his title on it, so he doesn’t forget it. Otherwise, he’d be, like, which knife is my knife? This one? That one?
He doesn’t know Delta isn’t his biological brother. He also doesn’t care.
He doesn’t know Delta is a mindhacker, because he never told him. He just thinks he has some sort of divine power.
A Myrmidon is Diana’s ex-husband. He was ordered to abuse her to make sure she signed up for DCOM.
He thinks Luna is beautiful, because she unconsciously reminds him of Diana.
A different Myrmidon is Carlos and Maria’s father. Yet another Myrmidon is the arsonist who killed their parents and caused Maria to get Reverie Syndrome. The arsonist being a Myrmidon is also why he was never caught. Free the Soul would’ve swept that under the rug. Brother needed Carlos to join DCOM, but for that to happen, he had to be born, his esper powers had to be awakened, and he had to have incentive to join. This was the surefire way for this to happen.
Brother had sent Left on a mission to conceive his children, but didn’t tell him that using any words that could possibly be interpreted that way. Since Brother can read minds, he just set things up, so it would extremely likely that Left would succeed at that mission. So, Left went out of his way to hide the fact that he had kids from him, since he knew he’d be super-duper mad at him, since he was supposed to stay a virgin forever. Little did he know that the whole reason he told him that was because he didn’t know which random jizz was the one he needed for his plans, so it was easier to tell him to abstain from sex.
He’s a literal hive mind. Going by the game’s computer analogy, he’s many monitors controlled by one computer. You can destroy one monitor, but there are more where those came from. This also means when Left got cloned the first time, 1904!Left’s mind was in that body.
When Free the Soul began its cloning projects, the clones were produced the old fashioned way using its members who volunteered as surrogates. Because of this, there’s an age range between the clones and the older ones have to raise the younger ones.
He got his ass whooped while on a mission and was taken to a Cradle Pharmaceuticals backed hospital. While he was there, he saw a beautiful nurse and fell in love with her on first sight. When he recovered, he returned and struck up a conversation about the universe with her. She was not only genuinely interested, but she followed the conversion. He thought, “Wow, she’s this beautiful and has brains too. She must be the one.” And married her. It was not to last, though. Brother ordered him to convince her to join DCOM by any means necessary, but he couldn’t tell her to join, because that would just be suspicious. This is also why Q used robots instead of Myrmidons, since it would be stupid to order a Myrmidon to convince someone to go somewhere with more Myrmidons and because she would’ve recognized them.
Left’s parents gave him and Delta crossbows to play with. He was an adult before he found out crossbows aren’t normal playthings for children.
Crack Theory
A Myrmidon is Quark’s biological great grandfather.
Alice
Headcanon
She is either a SHIFTer or a regular human who is as much of an esper as any other human who took a ride along with Sigma and Phi when they SHIFTed. If Sigma had told her he was an esper or that he was time traveling, then she would’ve told him the truth.
How quickly one succumbs to Radical-6 depends on how their perception of time relates to that of reality. Perception will always lag behind reality, but if it’s close enough, it’s no problem. Some people will lag less than others, which normally isn’t a problem. After you become infected with Radical-6, though, the difference of milliseconds starts to become noticeable in real time and it will drive you batshit insane. Quark and Alice commit suicide first, because their normal perceptions are closest to reality. Quark, because he’s young, and Alice, because she unconsciously did the math and realized something wasn’t adding up.
Crash Keys ends up on her shit list after the AB Game.
Carlos
Headcanon
Carlos and Maria’s parents were both members of Free the Soul of Y. Their father was a Myrmidon and their mother was a devout follower who had no problem doing whatever Brother said and was fine with Dio’s occupation.
Carlos and Maria were given name to match their parents. Carlos’s mother has a name that matches him, while Maria has a name to match their father, Dio.
There are two Carlos. He is the only character who could pull this off without going nuts. His future and present self had a good, long conversation and now, he’s chilling on his couch and eating Hot Pockets.
His father’s clothes fit him.
Crack Theory
He’s Quark’s grandfather. After he broke Akane and Junpei out of bomb shelter, Akane chewed him out, drugged Junpei, and told Carlos everything, even the fucked up shit. Carlos was heartbroken, because he knew Akane and Junpei loved eachother, but that they wouldn’t be able to be together; he’d die before he could see his children and grandchild;  Akane would have to shoulder this burden; and he felt partially responsible.
When he used the transporter to go back ten months into the past, he ended up at a Free the Soul HQ, but everyone thought he was Left, so they let him do whatever he wanted. He just thought they were really amiable researchers.
Q/Brother/Delta
Headcanons
He’s gay.
He’s sex repulsed.
His eyes are purple, because of partial albinism. They’d be blue, like his mother’s, if he had more melanin.
I thought this was canon, but I don’t see anything confirming it, so I’ll post it here. Mindhacking works via the morphogenetic field. Telepathy is receiving from the field and controlling a person’s action is sending to the field. He can still send and receive, like a vanilla esper can too.
He set the CQD teams up on purpose to have members be interested in eachother sexually, because he wanted to know if nature or nurture was more important when it came to breeding espers, SHIFTers, and mindhackers.
He’s a shipper on deck with an agenda. Since he can read minds, he plays matchmaker with people who are interested in eachother, so that they can benefit him. This was the case with Carlos and Maria’s parents.
He has a shipping chart. A motherfucking shipping chart.
He has a hate-on for Left, because he had sex with Diana. That wasn’t part of the plan! He will never tell him that, though.
Gab is his pet. He lives with him. He is a good boy who goes bork.
He sent Dio to the moon instead of going there himself, because he has the same heart condition as Diana.
The mission from God is real. His future self gave him the mission, but he didn’t know that until he became him.
God gave him that mission to prevent him from ending the world. He also told him to raise Left to be the Myrmidons to prevent Left from dying the same way he did before, because Left is naturally inclined to be a nice gentleman, which is how he died in the first place.
The god of Free the Soul of Y he was going to tell Akane about are the people playing the game/?. This is why Akane knew who ? was when they met. Akane was, like, LOL, when he told her and then, she was, like, are you SRS?!
There are as many clones of Delta as there are of Left and they were produced the same way. Since he can’t SHIFT and because he’s not a hivemind like Left, the clones mindhack to get information on how to be like Delta and are groomed to replace him if something should ever happen. This is how Brother is still able to give orders in the future, even though he died in an explosion before Radical-6 broke out of the bomb shelter.
If Junpei and Crash Keys didn’t fuck with Free the Soul, he would not have known who they were.
The reason he participates in DCOM, even though he can mindhack remotely, is because the third reason for the Decision Game was to entertain him. When he said he found mindhacking SHIFTers enjoyable, he meant it with all his heart. This is the most fun he has had in decades and he’s not going to spend it holed up in a box seat when he can be there on the field instead. He's going out of his way to produce scenarios that would be most entertaining to whatever Delta finds this out in another history. The Delta in the golden ending was probably LHAO when the SHIFTers shifted to where he was. Like, really, you thought I was blind, deaf, paraplegic man?! LOL! Junpei’s hand got microwaved like a Hot Pocket! This is some good shit right here! Mira is just running around stabbing people instead of helping them by telling them all the shit she found out? Glorious! And so on and so forth.
The reason he gives Carlos the gun is because he’s the only team leader who can make a choice. He is Team Q’s leader, which rules him out. Diana is his mother, so she won’t choose to kill him. So, that leaves Carlos.
The nautical theme naming of the teams, C, Q, and D, is meant to be a callback to The Titanic, because Lord Gordain came up with the original Nonary Game and Delta intends to end these games with the Decision Game.
Delta knew Lord Gordain personally. He uses his robes for Free the Soul of Y’s members, because he thinks they look cool.
All of Team Q’s members are sources of Axelavir. In the history that leads to Virtue’s Last reward, he purposefully sets Team Q up to die to destroy the hope spot anyone could’ve gotten from extracting Axelavir from them. Since Delta has clones, Axelavir could be extracted from them after the virus already got out. I wouldn’t be surprised if Axelavir was a Cradle Pharmaceuticals product.
Whoever is the acting leader of Free the Soul has the blue bird music box on his person.
The early 20th century was such a crapsack world that he awakened as an esper early and didn’t realize mindhacking wasn’t normal until he told Left about it nonchalantly and Left was, like, no, not everyone can do that.
After their parents died, he had to raise Left, which was hard, because they’re the same age. Then, Left died and Delta was, like, fuck the world like Tupac until God gave him a mission.
He didn’t know he had a twin sister until he was much older. By that time, they had grown far apart, so he didn’t attempt to contact her. Because she would’ve kicked his ass after she found out what he did.
He has a crew cut, because he’s embarrassed by his pink hair.
The toys used for the Decision Game’s players’ avatars exist. Children are playing with them at HQ.
Crack Theory
Delta was the religious fanatic, but SHIFTers changed history so much he isn’t anymore, but he doesn’t have any way to know that.
If timey-wimey shenanigans and the snail didn’t interfere, 2028!Delta would’ve ended up with Sean.
Diana
Headcanon
Diana grew up amongst hunting culture. Her family had hunting dogs and she has gone bow and gun hunting, herself, but she has never used a handgun. After the Decision Game, she never wants to use a gun again.
She met her first husband at work. He was not her patient, but he was apparently a patient there in the past and he fell in love with her at first sight. He wanted to talk to her about the universe, which is something that legitimately interested her. They hit it off. He was a perfect gentleman, but as time went on, he got creepier and creepier and more and more abusive to the point where she feared for her life. Even though they divorced, which he handled unusually well -- she didn’t think he’d sign the paperwork -- he kept harassing her at work.
The hospital she works at is owned by Cradle Pharmaceuticals.
Rebecca was not set up to tell Diana about DCOM. She remembered she was interested in space, so she told her about it, herself.
She’s a source of Axelavir. She always dies of something else before she can contract Radical-6, though.
Mira
Headcanon
Mira is a virgin. This is canon, but bears repeating, because I keep seeing people saying it’s symbolic, even though all the other X-Passes are literal and hers isn’t even the only one about sex. Delta is just creepily interested in other people’s sex lives.
She saves the world when she goes back in time and chooses not to become a serial killer. The events the snail put into action stopped when she chose not to kill Eric’s mom.
I thought this was canon, but I guess it’s really fanon. Anyway, Mira is able to smile a real smile at the end of the game, because SHIFTing re-installed whatever was missing in her morphogenetic field.
She thinks Zero keeps forgetting to drug her and she doesn’t want to say anything, because she thinks she’ll end up reminding him to drug her. She just keeps pretending to be drugged and when no one’s looking, she runs around and stabs people for funsies.
She doesn’t have a consistent MO during the Decision Game, which means she may have killed more people, but no one knew, because they didn’t match the Heart Ripper’s MO.
All the BS Mira says is true, because the danger and epiphany of the Decision Game is turning up her connection to the morphogenetic field to the max.
Eric
Headcanon
He grew up in hunting and gun culture. He normally isn’t such a bad shot, but his team leader keeps fucking with him.
Sean
Headcanon
Since the reality in the quantum computer is meant to be indistinguishable from reality, Sean is able to age in real time. Delta only has the one body for him, because he didn’t think he’d need any others.
This is another fanon I love: Sigma made him a head.
If he ever needs a sex bot body, he knows where to turn. Sigma’s got this.
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thrashermaxey · 6 years
Text
Ramblings: Oilers Anti-Clutch? Hamilton’s Third-Quarter Tendencies, the 45/55 Theory and More (Feb 04)
Ramblings: Oilers Anti-Clutch? Hamilton’s Third-Quarter Tendencies, the 45/55 Theory and More (Feb 04)
***
The Devils have returned Mackenzie Blackwood to the AHL, reinforcing the idea that fantasy owners should, indeed, follow the contract. Cory Schneider is back from his second conditioning stint and at $6 million per year for another three seasons after this one. Both of his AHL stints were underwhelming, as he posted a 2-4-0 record and a 0.881 SV%. But because of his contract, he will get two of the next four starts for sure. If Schneider is healthy next season but still doesn’t find his game, then the Devils will again be in playoff trouble. Because the team will keep throwing him out there at the expense of a better goaltender on the sidelines (Blackwood). But if he struggles with injuries again, Blackwood becomes the guy and the Devils will be in the playoff hunt. Yes, despite this being a billion dollar business, politics and optics matter. And that’s the balancing act that fantasy owners get to enjoy.
  Blackwood went 6-4-0 with a SV% of 0.926. But he lost two of his last three games and four games ago he allowed five in a win. So sending him down could be great timing in terms of maintaining confidence.
*
One of the main pieces in Ottawa’s Jason Spezza trade, Nick Paul, has been placed on waivers.
*
Ian touched on Corey Perry’s return in Sunday’s Ramblings but I want to dig a little deeper due to Patrick Eaves returning as well. Here were the line combos for the Ducks on Saturday:
  #1
27.1%
GETZLAF,RYAN – PERRY,COREY – RAKELL,RICKARD
#2
26.2%
GRANT,DEREK – RITCHIE,NICK – SPRONG,DANIEL
#3
20.5%
EAVES,PATRICK – GIBBONS,BRIAN – ROWNEY,CARTER
#4
17.1%
HENRIQUE,ADAM – SHORE,DEVIN – SILFVERBERG,JAKOB
  So Eaves is getting buried, making him useless, Perry is still riding the wave of his Hart trophy from a hundred years ago even though he’s now a second-liner at best, a third-liner most probably. And Randy Carlyle stubbornly stuck to his line combos despite his team getting their asses handed to them. Bottom line: I don’t have any interest in any skater on this team except Rakell. Even Getzlaf has just four points in his last 17 games.
*
My reaction, as a Scheifele owner, to Saturday’s game in progress:
{source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-partner="tweetdeck"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Winnipeg scores 9 goals. How much money, in thousands, do you bet on Scheifele getting at least 1 point?</p>— Dobber (@DobberHockey) <a href="https://twitter.com/DobberHockey/status/1091884663608492032?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 3, 2019</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}
*
When the Oilers have a one- or two-goal lead heading into the third period, immediately scramble for your phone, jump online and throw everything you can on an Edmonton loss. Bank on it! The most un-clutch team in pro sports.
After blowing a two-goal lead on Saturday in front of Cam Talbot, the Oilers blew a one-goal lead to Montreal on Sunday in front of Mikko Koskinen. In both cases it went to overtime. Now, if games were 40 minutes long they’d be golden.
Darnell Nurse picked up two assists including another one on the power play, further solidifying his PP spot for when Oscar Klefbom returns. Klefbom will likely get a taste of the PP and cut into Nurse’s ice time, but the cream will rise to the top. Klefbom was a game time decision Saturday but didn’t end up playing either weekend games.
This just in, Ty Rattie was back on the Connor McDavid line. But then again, so was Milan Lucic. Rattie had four shots on goal but zero points, so back to the fourth line for Rattie I’m sure (knowing Ken Hitchcock).
Carey Price returned from his suspension to lock down his fifth consecutive win. I’m not really sure of the point in suspending a goalie for one game when the goalie’s team is about to play back-to-back days. The NHL needs to examine this, and if the goalie deserves one game and next up are back-to-backs…then they need to give him two games.
With two points Sunday, Max Domi has eight in his last seven games. That being said, it’s interesting to note that Domi has just one power-play point in his last 32 games. He’s doing it all at even strength.
*
The Caps have lost eight of their last nine games. And I can’t help but think that a big part of that is Tom Wilson taking some of the edge off his game. Dialing it back so that he’s a little further behind the line instead of always pushing against it. He has five points in his last 15 games after starting with 19 in 18.
*
After five goals in his last four games, new Carolina forward Nino Niederreiter was held off the score sheet Sunday. His arrival and subsequent chemistry with Sebastian Aho has allowed Coach Rod Brind’Amour to separate Aho and Teuvo Teravainen. With the offense spread out the Canes seem to be playing better (3-2-1) thanks to secondary scoring. Micheal Ferland (two points Sunday) has stayed with Teravainen, and the domino effect of El Nino’s arrival is Lucas Wallmark becoming the third member of the trio. Now, as soon as Brind’Amour decides to put Andrei Svechnikov on the Aho-Nino line instead of Justin Williams, I think the Hurricanes would have a decent one-two punch.
That being said, without a solid goaltender, the players are still probably a pipe dream.
Dougie Hamilton, by quarter so far this year:
  Quarter
GP
G
A
PTS
SOG
PPP
PPTOI
TOI
1
20
3
4
7
74
1
2:16
20:12
2
21
3
4
7
60
3
2:16
19:16
3
11
3
4
7
29
1
1:08
19:02
4
0
0
0
0
0
0
0:0
0:0
  And now check out last year’s quarterly breakdown:
  Quarter
GP
G
A
PTS
SOG
PPP
PPTOI
TOI
1
19
2
6
8
65
1
2:13
20:02
2
22
3
6
9
56
3
2:05
21:14
3
22
9
12
21
74
7
2:04
21:02
4
19
3
3
6
75
1
3:11
22:09
  That pop last year in the third quarter is interesting. And with two points Sunday he has five in his last four games in this, his third, quarter. These quarterly charts are side-by-side in his Frozen Tools player profile (under the career tab). I find them very handy. It’s still hard to believe that so many DobberHockey readers have yet to check out these profiles.
*
My theory on Erik Gustafsson’s odds of long-term success is something I’ll coin the 45/55 theory. It’s one I apply to a defenseman is lesser-touted and/or a late-bloomer enjoying really strong success for a team with a handful of high-quality offensive prospect defensemen on the way. Will Henri Jokiharju, Adam Boqvist, Ian Mitchell or Chad Krys steal the spotlight? Well, if he finishes the season with 45 points, I think he’s vulnerable. If he gets to 55, he’s bulletproof. There’s something prestigious about a defenseman hitting the 55-point mark that keeps him safe from reduced PP time and faltering coach confidence. Gustafsson’s current pace is 54, but that is with a slow start due to gaining coach’s confidence (and thus ice time) so I’d accept 54. If he reaches those lofty totals come April, then the next wave of highly-skilled kids will have to be the Ivan Provorov to Gustafsson’s Gostisbehere (say that three times fast). Or the Sam Girard to Gustafsson’s Tyson Barrie. And so on.
*
See you next Monday.
  from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-oilers-anti-clutch-hamiltons-third-quarter-tendencies-the-4555-theory-and-more-feb-04/
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anavoliselenu · 7 years
Text
Hiched chapter 2
And then the cancer diagnosis. Diagnoses, plural—first Mom in my freshman year of college, then Dad just last year.
But even though I’d had a front-row seat to Mom’s mortality, Dad’s still came as a shock. He’s as wise and proud as ever, and he puts up a brave front for the rest of us, but I can tell what the cancer is doing to him. I’ve been his daughter for twenty-six years; I know where to look. It’s those little moments, like when his hands shake when we talk about the future, or he gets that faraway look in his eyes.
Dad has so little time. Sometimes it’s still hard to remember that. All too soon, Rachel and I will be each other’s only remaining family. And my little sister sure as hell won’t run Tate & Cane Enterprises. She has never been interested in the business world; she loves fashion, not finance. Although maybe I should ask her advice on graphic design, for revamping our marketing campaign styles . . .
I frown into my sangria. Damn, I’m thinking as if Tate & Cane is already mine. As if I’ve subconsciously taken my responsibilities for granted.
Well, why shouldn’t I? Dad always told me that his seat would be mine someday. This company is my birthright. It’s Dad’s legacy—the hard-won fruit of all his blood, sweat, and tears. He shouldn’t spend his last days worrying about what will happen to it. And soon, this company will be all I have left of him. Assuming I actually manage to hold on to the damn thing.
Personal sentiment aside, T&C also employs over six thousand people. Six thousand lives that will be turned upside-down if our rivals take over.
Fuck. I can’t believe I’m even considering this ridiculous contract.
But my career is everything to me. It always has been. While other girls enjoyed normal social lives, I studied for hours every night. While they picked out homecoming dresses and sneaked booze from their parents’ liquor cabinets, I did internships. While they rushed sororities, I co-chaired my university’s Women Entrepreneurs Club. I aced every single one of my undergrad and MBA classes. No partying and barely any dating. I never coasted on Dad’s reputation; ever since I was old enough to understand what a huge responsibility waited in my future, I wanted to be ready for it.
Well, I’m ready now. I’ve worked hard all my life, and I’ve earned the right to prove myself as head of Tate & Cane. I’m confident that I can fill Dad’s shoes.
I can’t let Dad down. I can’t let my younger self down. This company is mine; the thought of losing it to a rival is even worse than the thought of Justin making suggestive comments at me for the rest of my life.
This company can’t slip through my fingers, so I won’t let it—even if that means I have to partner with Justin. Not just partner, but dear God, marry the son of a bitch. Our fathers must have gone temporarily insane when they wrote their wills. Then again, they always did have weird, old-fashioned ideas about dating and courtship.
But no situation is impossible. If I can just calm down and think clearly, an optimal solution will emerge. Any seemingly impossible goal can be managed by breaking it down into bite-sized component tasks.
I breathe deeply to calm myself and try to let my training take over.
Camryn has made two important points. First, both Justin and I want to save Tate & Cane Enterprises. This company is our birthright, our fathers’ legacy—and its employees are our responsibility. And second, this marriage is just another form of legal partnership. Which means it’s a contract open to negotiation.
Yes, it royally sucks that I’m not marrying for love. My closet romantic side cringes at the thought. But I try to set aside as much emotional baggage as I can. Not every marriage has to be like a Hollywood romance, after all. Justin and I don’t need to be in love with each other to successfully co-pilot a company.
The $100 billion question here is: How well would we work together?
Can we even get along? Will our partnership be stable and productive? Or will it implode . . . taking Tate & Cane down with us?
This decision doesn’t rest entirely on my shoulders. Our fathers have always said that we’re stronger together—that’s why they paired us off in the first place. So Justin ought to do some heavy lifting too. In fact, I could argue that it’s his job to convince me, since he’s already on board.
So, let him make his sales pitch. Let him prove himself to me. Let him demonstrate how and why this relationship could actually succeed. I’ll do my part too—I’ll try to maintain good faith and stay receptive to the idea of us becoming friends. But I’m not the type to commit to something unless I know I can follow through. If I’m going to marry Justin, then by God, I want to win at it.
The end of my inner debate must show on my face, because Camryn reaches across the table to squeeze my hand.
“I’m going to order us dessert.”
“I love you,” I say on a sigh. Even with my newfound determination, I’ll need some serious chocolate to get through this.
“For what it’s worth, I think you’re really brave.”
I force a smile. “Thanks.”
Grumbling to myself, I fish my phone out of my purse and call Dad to schedule another meeting with Justin and Prescott. I have to give them my answer as soon as possible.
• • •
Late that afternoon, almost the close of the business day, I open the same conference room door I walked through yesterday. Nobody turns in response; the three men seated at the table have already looked up at the sound of my footsteps in the hall.
Justin’s crooked smile is just a little bit too smug. What was that you said earlier? Something about not marrying me? it seems to gloat. How’s that humble pie taste?
A muscle tenses in my jaw. He didn’t even have to say a word and I’m already irritated all over again. Goddamn it, he’s so annoyingly attractive—with his charcoal-gray suit, crisp white shirt, and merlot-colored tie, all expertly tailored to fit his six-foot-two frame—and the fact that he can get under my skin so easily just annoys me even more.
His entire demeanor screams confidence. From his deep, inquisitive eyes that see too much, to his strong hands with neatly trimmed nails, to the thick column of his throat that bobs when he smirks at me. He’s the thing my teenage fantasies were made of. Woodsy male scent. Muscular, yet trim frame. A quick wit that always finds a way to pull me into a debate.
Ignoring the pounding of my heart, I force my eyes away from Justin and address the room. “Thank you all for reconvening on such short notice. I have a proposal to make.”
“I thought that was my job,” Justin interjects.
Pointedly ignoring his joke, I explain. “I’ll sign the inheritance contract at the end of the month . . .”
Everyone blinks at me. Dad and Prescott look pleasantly surprised. Justin’s annoying smile is gone, replaced with a slightly furrowed brow.
“But only,” I continue, “if Justin can show me that a relationship between us could work. After all, Tate & Cane’s fate hinges on our ability to cooperate as both business partners and spouses.”
“A trial period?” Dad asks.
“You could describe it like that. I also think that getting to know each other better will help the company’s public image. We need to make our relationship believable; it’ll look strange if nobody ever sees us together before we marry.”
It’s also a chance to dip my toes in before diving straight into the deep end. An attempt to inject a little normality into a deeply abnormal situation.
But I don’t say that part out loud. I don’t want to admit right now that marriage still scares me a little. Not with Justin blinking curiously at me, and Prescott looking frustrated at the prospect of even further delays.
Justin finally speaks up. “So, essentially, you’re asking me to date you.”
I nod at him. “Yep, that’s the idea. At least take me out for a drink before I consider taking your name.” I look straight at him, waiting to see his reaction before I hit him with my next clause. “Oh, and another thing. Refrain from having sex . . . with anyone.”
Chapter Three
Justin
She wants me to woo her?
Of all the scenarios I imagined—from the most likely, where Selena rips up the contract, to the even crazier, where she actually signs it—this wasn’t one of them.
She’s laid down her own stipulations, ensuring that I’ll have to work to win her over. Though I probably should have expected a curveball. This is Selena Cane, after all.
“If there are no further questions, I should get back to work,” Selena says. When nobody responds, she turns and struts out of the conference room, her round ass swaying as her heels click across the floor. The door swings shut.
“That was interesting,” I say under my breath.
Fred stops beside me as I stand, trying to process what just happened. “It sounds like the ball’s in your court, son. But don’t worry. I know you can pull this off.”
“Thanks.” I nod, then take off toward her office. She doesn’t get to drop a bomb like that and then saunter away.
She’s inside, perched in her cream-colored leather chair, stilettos kicked off under her desk. Her toenails are painted light blue, and she’s tapping her foot in time to whatever tune she’s humming. Something on her computer screen has her complete attention.
Startled at the sound of the door opening, she looks up, her wide crystal-blue eyes finding mine. “Did you need something? I have work to do.”
She mentioned us going for a drink. Which is perfect, considering I need to prove how compatible we can be. But first, I need her to see something. This isn’t just some game; I need her to understand exactly what’s at stake if we don’t succeed.
“Come with me. There’s something I need to show you.”
I tug her up from her desk chair, allowing her a moment to slip her delicate feet back into her heels, then tow her from the office before she can argue.
“Where are you taking me?”
I grunt and mumble, “You’ll see.”
“Don’t be such a caveman; use your words.”
“We’re going to the mail room.”
She scoffs. “What on earth for?”
I don’t answer, just punch the button for the elevator. We cruise down to the basement floor of the building with an eerie silence hanging around us. When the doors open to the basement, I take a deep breath.
“Ahh . . . you smell that?” I grin at her.
Her mouth turns down into a frown. “Mildew?” Her gaze darts around the large open space stacked with boxes. “The health department would have a field day down here.”
This is my favorite place in the whole building, so I don’t take too kindly to Selena turning up her nose at it. “Don’t be such a grouch. Come on.”
I lace my fingers with hers once again and tug her farther down the fluorescent-lit hallway. When we reach the mail room, I wonder for a moment if Rosita is on her break.
“Now, what is it that you wanted to show me?” Selena raises her eyebrows and places one hand on her hip, obviously not impressed.
Wide shelves line all four walls. They’re numbered with the corresponding floors of the building and hold various envelopes and packages. It’s not a high-tech operation, but it gets the job done.
“Not what, but who.” I tip my chin toward the Latina cheerfully humming a tune to herself. Rosita’s back is to us as she sorts mail at the far end of the room.
“Rosita,” I call out.
She swivels around, clearly not expecting anyone, and her shoulder-length hair swings. A look of surprise is painted across her pleasant features, especially her large dark brown eyes, and a hint of pink comes to her round cheeks.
Rosita immigrated here from Mexico when she was just eighteen, taught herself English, and worked hard to support her growing family. Now, she’s a force to be reckoned with.
A company of this size usually employs a mail-room staff of three to four people. But Rosita said they’d just get in her way, so she runs the whole operation herself. She took ownership of both the position and the space, and made it hers—even hung cheery posters on the wall. One of a monkey dancing. Another of bright orange poppies.
“Mi amor!” she cries, already heading toward us. “Abrazo.” She opens her arms to me, expecting our customary hug.
“Gracias, Mamacita,” I reply, giving her a light squeeze.
It’s the same way she’s been greeting me for the past six years. I know about a whopping four words of Spanish, but I always use them with her. I want her to feel at home, I guess.
Coincidentally, Rosita and I started work here on the same day. We even attended orientation together. I was a fresh college grad, still wet behind the ears, and Rosita, fifteen years my elder, was skeptical about the owner’s son. Unlike Selena, I haven’t worked here since I could walk. I had other jobs during college and made a point of interning at another firm so I could see how the competition worked.
When I met her, I thought Rosita might assume I was some rich, privileged punk who didn’t have to earn his paycheck. It made me all the more determined to prove her wrong. And Dad always was big on learning the ropes from the ground up, anyway. So for my first two weeks at Tate & Cane, I began working right alongside Rosita in the mail room.
It was during that time we cemented our relationship. We delivered packages and memos side by side, and shared jokes and stories. But when I really fell in love was when she shared her empanadas with me at lunch.
Rosita’s eyes widen slightly as they swing from mine to Selena’s. “Miss Cane,” she says, her voice soft and quizzical. It’s not every day the CEO’s daughter wanders down to the mail room.
“Please, call me Selena,” she says, correcting Rosita with a smile meant to ease. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Everyone at the company knows Selena, even if they haven’t met.
“Did you . . . need something?” Rosita looks between me and Selena again.
I shake my head. “Nope. Just came to say hello.”
Rosita’s posture relaxes and she smiles. “Did you get my invite for Maria’s birthday party?”
“Of course. Two weeks from Saturday, right? It’s already on my calendar.”
“Have you had lunch yet?” She smiles and reaches out to smooth one hand over my silk tie. “I worry, you know.”
I smile. “I’ve eaten. Thank you.”
Sometimes when I’m busy, I’ve been known to skip lunch—that is, until Rosita forces herself into my office with a sandwich from the deli down the street. It’s like she can sense when I’ve missed a meal. She often blurs the line between coworker, friend, and mother.
I’ve brought Selena down here today because I want her to see there’s more to this company than what the numbers say. Some things can’t be learned from a spreadsheet. The perspective Selena has perched in her corner office chair all day is quite different from the perspective one gets on the ground floor of this operation.
Standing here, looking into Rosita’s rich mahogany eyes and feeling the warmth and care that pours from her very soul, it’s impossible for us not to be aware of the importance of our responsibility. We can’t fail at this. If we fail, we take all these people down with us.
And I, for one, won’t let that happen.
After pleasantries are exchanged, Selena and I head back toward the elevator.
“She’s important to you, isn’t she?” Selena asks.
“Very.”
She nods, looking contemplative.
I check my watch as we step inside the elevator and let out a sigh. Selena looks as overwhelmed as I feel. We’ve been under a mountain of stress lately, and I have a feeling it’s only going to get more intense.
“Today was unexpected,” I say. “Just like that, after weeks of negotiation, you’re actually going to consider this, huh?”
“I will do this on my terms, if and when I’m ready, Justin. Consider the next few weeks a trial period.”
“That will be easy, sweetheart.”
“Oh, it won’t be easy,” she says, correcting me. “And don’t call me sweetheart.”
“Are you sure about that, Mrs. Tate?”
“I told you not to call me that, either.”
“I know. You told me to take you out for a drink before you’ll consider taking my name.” I smirk at her. “Which I think is an excellent fucking idea. Brilliant, in fact.”
I coax my first smile from her and feel like thumping my chest. Although I have a desk full of work to get back to, the idea of sitting across from Selena and hearing her tell me about this supposed trial period sounds like a lot more fun. Time to push a little harder.
“It’s five o’clock somewhere, you know.”
“We’ve had a lot going on. I think we could use a cocktail,” she says, amazing me that she actually agreed.
“I’ll meet you in the lobby in fifteen?” I know she’ll never agree to leave without wrapping up the last of her e-mails.
“Sure.”
Then I watch her ass as she saunters away toward her office.
• • •
Once we’re seated at the elegant Stanton Room, a swanky bar across the street from our office building, Selena and I place our order with the waitress—a vodka martini, extra dirty for her, and a Scotch on the rocks for me.
“Extra dirty, huh?” I wink at her.
“Surprised?” There’s a hint of a smile on her lips.
“That the straitlaced Selena Cane likes it extra dirty? Why, yes, I am.”
“Don’t overthink it, Justin. I’d hate to see you burst a brain cell.”
I scowl at her. If there’s one thing Selena and I do well, it’s banter. And though she’d like to believe otherwise, sexual tension runs rampant just below the surface.
I lean in toward her, my elbows on the table. “So, how will all this work, exactly? Me and you? I just like to be clear on expectations so I can exceed them.”
Her gaze is cool. Not icy, at least, but still a long way from where I want her. “Well, I haven’t put a lot of thought into it yet, but you’ll have to win me over. Show me that this crazy thing could actually work.”
If there’s one thing I know about Selena, it’s that she refuses to fail. Something tells me that with everything that’s on the line, Selena needs to know I won’t fuck up and embarrass her as a husband. We have to work together, live together, and actually pull off this whole coupledom in a big way.
“So you said you want to date? I don’t date, Snowflake.”
“Winning over doesn’t necessarily mean dating.”
She takes a sip from her martini glass and sets it down with an inquisitive look on her delicate features. She may look like your average, sweet girl next door, but at her core, Selena is a ballbuster. A total triple threat. Sexy, intelligent, and talented. Which is perfect, seeing as those are the qualities I always dreamed my future wife would possess. Well, those, along with a tight—
Selena clears her throat, interrupting my train of thought. Fuck.
“Winning over means that we can be in the same room together without ripping each other’s throats out.”
I nod. “Okay, we’ll be civilized about it.”
“Fine,” she says. “And we should figure out what the hell we have in common.”
I think we already know what we have in common—and to my understanding, it’s a long list. But I’ll go by whatever definition she wants. I’ll win no matter what it is.
“Seeing as we have to put on a show, I agree. I should know a bit about my future fiancée,” I say. “For instance, your favorite sexual position . . .”
She coughs and sputters, choking on the olive in her drink. For a minute there, I think I’m going to have to perform the Heimlich maneuver, until she swallows the damn thing and glares at me.
“What does that have to do with anything?” she croaks out, her voice still hoarse.
I chuckle. “Settle down. I just want to know how to please my future wife, is all.”
“You can please me by buckling down and getting to work at the office instead of taking those three-martini lunches you favor.”
“Darling?” I blink at her. Since I’ve been told by more than one ex-girlfriend that my eyelashes are enviable, I’m hoping it has the exaggerated effect I’m going for. “We were supposed to be discussing what we have in common.”
“Right. Well . . .” She begins listing items on her fingers. “Summering in the Hamptons. Working at Tate & Cane, obviously. Our families are friends.”
“We both lost our mothers,” I point out.
Her gaze drops to the table in front of her, but I don’t feel bad. It’s just a fact of life, one we’ve discussed before, and I’d rather skip the superficial bullshit and get down to a real level.
“Yes. What else?” She drums her fingers on the table.
“I, for one, like anal. You?”
Damn it. Again with the choking. I stand and pat my future fiancée’s back until her airway clears.
“Another drink?” I ask, noticing that hers is now empty.
She looks flustered that she downed it so quickly, but signals to the waitress for another round.
“I know what I’m getting myself into, Justin. Besides, my focus is going to be on saving this company, not pretending to be the happy little wife to my fake husband.”
“Correction.” I lean closer. “Soon to be real husband. I’ll win you over, Snowflake. This will happen.”
Chapter Four
Selena
Win me over, Justin says. Real husband.
There’s nothing real about this. He can call this trial period “dating” if he wants, but all I’m after is reassurance that we’ll mesh as co-CEOs. No need to confuse the issue with love or sex, no matter how dangerously attractive he is. I just have questions that need answers.
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