#like i'm not squeamish but i straight up almost threw up

[sureuncertainty]

i just did the grossest thing i have literally ever done and that is saying a LOT considering I worked custodial at disney world for several months

[karasuno-babysitter]

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Waiter!Oikawa Tooru x Reader

Word Count: 1,271

Plot: You are on a date with an asshole and your waiter is Oikawa.

Genre: First meeting [I don't think there is a particular genre for first meetings?]

I sighed as I looked at the person in front of me. Loud-mouthed, arrogant, dickish assholes were never my type but for some reason, I had decided to trust my friend's recommendation for a blind date.

Alexa, remind me to kick her ass when I meet her again. I chuckled lightly at my joke.

"Hey! Are you even listening to me? You've been staring off into the distance for about 5 minutes straight, and just now you laughed when I was telling you about my traumatic experience with my neighbour's feral pet hamster"

I had to stifle another laugh as I tried to apologize to him as sincerely as I could, which, given the circumstances, was not easy.

"Here's your food Ma'am, Sir." Great! The waiter had finally come with our orders. I was starving. Although when I looked at the greek salad in front of me my appetite vanished. 

I hated salads but when I tried ordering a lobster along with fries like I usually do, my 'date' gave me such a disgusted look that I cancelled the order and asked for this gross arrangement of leaves and vegetables instead.

"Thank you so much." I smiled politely at the waiter, who smiled back at me. 

My god, he is cute! Should've snagged a date with him instead of this bastard.

"What the hell?! I asked for a burger with extra fries but this doesn't have any!" I heard my date shout. I looked at his plate and saw a considerable amount of fries beside his burger.

"Sir, we have provided you with extra fries."

"Doesn't look like extra to me! I think you've given me less than the normal amount."

"I am so sorry for the inconvenience sir, I shall resolve this issue immediately." The waiter said with a smile, although I could see the vein on his forehead popping like crazy.

The waiter left with the plate as the pig in front of me downed his third glass of champagne. He was definitely drunk by this point.

"So, anyway as I was saying..." He continued his boring story as I zoned out once again.

Soon the waiter came back with his order and what, to me, looked like the same plate with the same amount of fries.

"Ah! Now that's better. See, you can do your jobs quite well when there's someone to show you your place." 

I raised my eyebrows in amusement and gave an apologetic look to the waiter.

Suddenly, the hog went too far. He grabbed the nice waiter's tie and pulled him down to his face level.

"You guys need to be told how to do each and every little thing, don't you? Thinking you're the boss of the restaurant when you're really just a waiter." He said lightly slapping the other man's face.

I could see the waiter reeling back, probably from the stench of alcohol, trying to keep a straight, polite face.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I hated it when people tried to show of their dominance, especially to someone who has no choice but to obey.

"That's enough!" I suddenly raised my voice to get my drunk partner's attention. 

"Leave him alone. I think you've caused enough of a scene today"

The idiot looked surprised, but nonetheless left the waiter's tie and waved him off. I could see the waiter was hesitant to take off by look on his face but I gave him a reassuring smile as he reluctantly went to the kitchen.

I could feel my date's eyes boring into mine, seething with anger as I picked at my salad. 

I guess he couldn't handle his ego taken down a notch.

Soon, the silence and the unmistakable rage exuding from his body made me so squeamish that I decided to take off.

"Hey, this has been…..quite a time, but I had better be going now" I tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.

The man called for the check without giving me a response. I quickly paid for my half and started to walk towards the back of the restaurant where my car was parked.

I was relieved as I neared my car but as I was about to get inside it, my arm was grabbed in a strong grip and I was spun around only to come face to face with my jerk-of-a-date.

"You're quite feisty, aren't you? Raising your voice at me in front of the whole restaurant like that." He sneered, bringing his face closer to mine as I almost threw up from the smell of booze. 

"Rot in hell." I looked straight into his drunken eyes, my gaze filled with fury.

I could almost hear something snap inside him as he raised his hand to hit me.

I curled up, waiting for the blow to come, but it never did. What I did see when I looked at him again, was someone grabbing the arm that was ready to swing at me.

It was the waiter.

"Now now, sir. I had to be polite to you inside the restaurant, but I don't owe you jack-shit outside of it." His eyes darkened to a devilish shade.

My attacker suddenly snapped out of his initial shock as he screamed in anger and swung at the waiter this time.

The waiter swiftly dodged the punch and twisted the arm that he was already holding behind the intoxicated man, kicking him on his knees so that he fell down with the waiter on top of him. 

"It's not nice to start a fight with someone, sir." The waiter said, smiling the whole time, even though the dark look never left his eyes.

My date continued to spew profanities from that disgusting mouth of his, when suddenly, the man on top took him by his hair and slammed his head onto the concrete, completely knocking him out.

He then looked at me, his expression shifting from murderous to concerned in a split second.

"Are you okay?" It took me a while to realize he was talking to me as I muttered a small "yeah"

"It's okay, he'll be passed out for the rest of the night thanks to the alcohol and hitting his head. Hopefully, he won't even remember any of this by the time he wakes up." He said getting up and dusting his clothes.

"Thank you, so so much," I said quietly, still a little startled at what had just happened in front of me.

"It's no big deal. Besides, you saved me back at the restaurant, so it's only fair that I return the favour." He said, winking at me.

By this time, I recovered from my initial shock and gave him a relieved, lopsided grin. Wow, maybe I'm a bit drunk too.

The waiter raised an eyebrow in amusement and offered me his hand. I hadn't realised that I'd slowly sunk to the ground and was now flat out sitting on the pavement.

I took his hand and got up. 

"Wait, what if he remembers all of this and tells your manager? You'll get fired." I suddenly came to the realization.

He simply shrugged "Then I'll quit. This was just a part-time gig. And I'd choose to save a beautiful, kind human being over my job any day."

"Well, maybe you could give this beautiful, kind human being your number so that I can call you anytime I need to be rescued."

He whistled lightly as he removed a notepad and a pen from his pocket. 

"Well, that's gonna cost me a lot of jobs then."

I giggled and as he wrote down a few numbers and tore the piece of paper.

"Oikawa Tooru, nice to meet you" He handed me the slip of paper.

"(Y/N) (L/N), it's been wonderful meeting you as well" I said as I gave him my first genuine smile of the evening.