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#and i also have emet so that is ALSO saying a lot
deus-and-the-machina · 5 months
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ffxiv garlemald discourse is so funny because people will go "ugh people just cant stand it when things aren't black and white" and then you look at how the empire are portrayed in stormblood and shadowbringers and its like hm. that seems like a pretty intense and accurate display of violent imperialism to me! Wow I wonder why people in this day and age may find it hard to feel sympathy for them or even hate them on principal. god its such a mystery.
the games like 50/50 to me on how it tackles these themes because I actually like the garlemald arc in EW, I think it has a lot of horrific and powerful scenes depicting how self destructive fascist propaganda and beliefs are, but I also think it doesn't go far enough on some fronts. the garleans' xenophobia is most notably and obstacle to getting them to accept the contingent's help, which is what they're there to do,
but there's never an admission of harm from any garleans on the uuuuuuuuh massive amount of war crimes the nations around them are still suffering from they're just kind of like "we misjudged you...but you actually wanted to help us all along" like yeah thats great now can we get you all some deprogramming because you keep talking about returning to your prime and glory days and I think we need to unpack some stuff you really SHOULDNT return to. im not even really talking about EW proper but the patches where things are a bit more chilled out and people are recovering.
It feels like they wanted to have their critique of imperialism and also have things end with the beauty of human connection and reaching out and these things just don't mesh well because hey a lot of your modern day audience is not gonna like having to treat people yelling xenophobic things at the cast and your character with kid gloves after you showed them hours and hours of the awful things these people's beliefs have done. especially in the present day hoo boy.
#im kind of torn between 'no characters dont need to be 'punished' to be redeemed but also the characters just being so lenient with the#colonizers after we see far too many people being lenient if not supportive of the colonizers irl. well. it really blows afslkjfalkf and#yeah you can argue if they'd gone through with the garlemald expansion they would've had more time to go into this but the fact is that its#absent from what they did do and I especially think the patches when we go to garlemald and the EW role quests going 'hey maybe the#provinces can help us rebuild' as if they'd have any goddamn right to ask that just make me feel like they didnt stick the landing#seeing all the characters who have suffering time and time again bc of the garleans or seen the results of their actions having to clamp#their mouths shut every time someone said something xenophobic in EW isnt satisfying and it leaves so much unsaid!#also some people feel like the narrative didnt blame emet enough but ngl I think thats reductive even with his micromanaging scheming littl#ass and the intention of garlemald turning out a shitshow that doesnt make anyone else less complicit. most governments like this exaggerat#and lie and spread propaganda but I dont think most people here excuse the actions of a bigot because 'they were raised that way'#this is also my issue with gaius' writing. hes primarily upset that ascians were behind what he thought was his good old fashioned natural#conquering ideology :( and doesnt it suck so much he killed people for it. like yeah he seems pretty aware what he did was wrong but his#ideology remains bizarrely intact and unchallenged by the characters around him. no dude it wasnt just the ascians the system is a lot more#complex than that by this point aaaaaugh#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#siren says#I hope people are nice to me about this I dont think I said anything particularly controversial to the Tumblr crowd (twt maybe but fuck em)#ig my main point with this post is that the game isnt perfect at writing this and also that look. I actually liked the main arc in EW and I#like quite a few garlean characters but I completely understand why others didnt like it or any garleans esp if they have their own persona#experiences with colonialism and I dont get to tell them they're invalid for that. too many people get judgmental about this understandably#upsetting topic and you just gotta accept that this is a big line for many people
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having shrimp emotions abt the end of shb again
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astrxealis · 5 months
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sorry to ffxivlovepost always anyway Man the way the devs & game did so good in making an mc that is Basically a blank-slate for the players, and there's so many opportunities to make your oc However you like but. the game itself adds so much story and character to that blank-slate guy. amazing
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#i think abt this a lot. and also a lot of other ffxiv stuff LMFAO#it's amazing ..... drk is a huge example of this i think#bcs it plays into the guilt and whatnot the wol feels and all that. spectacular#endwalker !!!!! shadowbringers!!! the way the game uses the concept of hope is just always so beautiful and fascinating to me#and yeah bunch of games may have like. mc you create & design but not always can you like. ehvejfhsjf idk how to explain LOL#it is 4 pm i woke up 2 hours ago but priorly woke at 7 am after havingn a rlly. weird sleep.#to which my twin told me 'i wont tell u what time it is' as we went to sleep so it def was Really late#bcs we were going thru re2 and she was also playing games on steam i've been telling her to play#(to which i got her fav characters right and knew fr how'd she'd like the game LMFAO. twins amiright.)#actually that is also smth so fascinating to me bcs. i always have had someone w me in my life. i am literally never alone.#to which what i'm getting at here is Wow... it's like having a sleepover every single day. and i was a kid always sad never to have#sleepovers bcs my parents were strict (they r cool tho!) but i was a kid who wanted to experience all the kid things#but i didn't rlly but that's fine :P i am a grateful person LOL anyway back on track back on black#ffxiv... the game that u are.....#it's the 1st game that rlly actually made me invested in the ocs of others and also make a fully fledged oc that wasn't just originally mine#but for a fandom or something. and also it got me back into writing and Into making poetry and prose so. yeah.#it's amazing how much. oc x canon ???? yeah. ffxiv is so Wow#like eveyrhhting w themis or graha and how u can AAGGGHHH shit w your oc . so many possibilities#and that character. those possibilities. are already in game but also expanded by the player and the fanbade and#idk it's so beautiful to me WHAGHSGDJDH. and yes me saying themis or graha up there is self-indukgent bcs#both of them are so Insane it's so. insane!!!!! i will never forget what happened in abyssos in particular that Broke me#and anabaseios... :)) i cried so much it is almost embarrassing. and wow. asphodelos. wverything w themis just. yeah#anyway graha... self-explanatory if u know..... idk he's the character of all time to me. simply said. but themis is crazy bcs going thru ab#yssos made me think for a bit 'hey themis might be my fav character in ffxiv now' but No but also Wow. wow#kinda cute bcs me and my twin have a thing where she has a certain type of chara she likes and me too#so sometimes. most times. all times. we have our own characters we like anyway but sometimes they overlap but either the case we kinda#lowkey 'segregate???' idk if that is a good word but we do that w our fav characters. so like emet is her fav elidibus is mine.#and that was all the way in arrr alr and we barely knew spoilers so that's kinda crazy! anyway
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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h. hermes
#🌙.rambles#flowers. the night sky that night. under the stars#his voice. oh my god#hermes is so goddamn soft n gentle n he's so kind at heart#INFP FROM THAT MBTI DATABASE N. YEAH. DEFINITELY JUST LIKE ME FRFR#my affection for him is so#god for all ffxiv charas it's different n unique for each one but#my top 5 all-time favs#who would be emet & hermes & alphinaud & aymeric & haurchefant#haurche's the one with the painful loss in a way. of something you'll never have again but that fondness will forever remain#aymeric is attraction on. charisma. and something nostalgic. admiration too. the most romantic one i'd say from my favs#alphinaud's my bb boy. him being the youngest of ^ has that. shyness i think. of being more similar n on the same level.#attraction would be more masked compared to aymeric & haurchefant.#n. wait. ok so late night walks in the cold night with haurchefant. comfortable warm and romantic dinners with aymeric#alphinaud would be. more soft n subtle. reminiscing together on the past. n. holding hands. petting head bcs he is so Short#alphinaud's v intelligent n. goddamn he's the closest to my type bcs he's also simultaneously so creative#he Writes. letters. n then he's canonically good at painting too like DAMN BRO#as a character i think he's the type that. very capable yes but. gentle support. loving reassurance.#emet's the one with a lot more angst in a painful way that. we're on opposite ends. we. hmm. azemet. that's the angst#his character themes. the dramaticness n the theatrics n the focus on truth ('angel of truth') n remembrance#subtle fondness. painful longing.#longing. oh my god#the way he smiles in those cutscenes. talking and remembering of those he loved and lost. from the end of a world#familiarity. between one who remembers n another that ressembles their lost lover#the way they expressed emet's character in shb is so special to me.#fuck wait i left hermes for last 🫣🥹#stargazing. crying in each other's arms. a pain you too can only upon up with#comfort / in knowing you are not alone. pain / in knowing that it too will end. everything will.#but. hermes with the flowers. he likes apples. god he's just such a gentle n soft character n it tears me apart#his character with birds. creating one in a way. blue.
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hirumashadow · 2 years
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I love ffxiv
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acertainmoshke · 5 months
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I had the weirdest interaction with a random lady today while we were both buying coffee. So I’m wearing this cap:
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Because (1) I happened to put on green pants, a green and black Oregon Trail shirt, and a teal hoodie, so the color scheme matched. And (2) I think it’s really fucking funny.
So this lady smiles and asks what my hat says in Hebrew. And I have been WAITING for this. I’ve owned this hat for months now and no one EVER asks. So I tell her, impressively succinctly and coherently, “It says emet, which means truth. But it’s also a joke because it was what was carved into a golem’s head to bring it to life.”
And she sort of…recoiled? And went, “oooooh, that’s a lot of information,” then laughed nervously and turned back to the counter.
And I’m??? So confused?? I answered her question in two sentences. And I can’t tell if I was talking too fast and overwhelmed her or if, like, she was expecting some deep religious Christian significance?
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storms-path · 2 months
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Dawntrail and Conquerors
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Dawntrail has given me thoughts. So many thoughts. This is only one of 'em, be prepared for more! But also, SPOILERS FOR BASICALLY ALL OF DAWNTRAIL AHEAD! Read on at your own risk!
There’s something of a running theme throughout FF14 that I think Dawntrail has really honed in on, and it’s something that resonated with me the more I thought about it. Time and time again we’re confronted with men who claim that they are worthy of rule through the strength they bring to bear, and time and time again they’re laid low by our own. We see it with Gaius, with the Heavensward, with the entirety of the Garlean empire (but in particular Yotsuyu and Emet-Selch), and now in Dawntrail with… Well, you know. The theme is clear: Conquerors do not keep their thrones.
So when we heard stories at the end of Endwalker about how the mighty Dawnservant united the people of Tural, a famously divided people by both land and people, my thought was this: We have another conqueror who we’ll inevitably have to topple. With the Garlean empire fresh in my mind, it was the obvious conclusion to reach towards. And Wuk Lamat was already shown to be sheltered and naive from her introduction, which made me wary of trusting her word on her own father’s supposed goodness.
Suffice to say I was pleasantly surprised that Gulool Ja Ja was not a conqueror, but a uniter instead. For all that he’s hyped up as an incredibly strong combatant, and a force to be reckoned with on and off the battlefield, all the stories we hear of Tural’s founding are of him… Making peace. Liberating through non-violence. Saving people from terrible beasts. Forcing a generations-old war to end through a cook off to end all cook-offs! He could have quite easily conquered the people of Tural, forced them together through violence, but he knew how short-sighted that would be. He was raised in warfare, called upon to be a saviour of his forsaken people and lead them out of the canopy… and he did, in a way. But he did so without casting down everyone around him.
Is he a perfect ruler? Oh, absolutely not. His people still have problems, especially the Mamool Ja who chose to remain. But he has succeeded in bringing together a prosperous, peaceful nation in a time of upheaval and crisis. And despite everything, he is successful in… well, being succeeded. His trials do exactly what they should, but teaching Wuk Lamat and Koana how to properly rule through respecting their people instead of using them for their own gain.
Which bring me neatly to Vergil Zarool Ja.
Zarool Ja is everything Gulool Ja Ja isn’t. Ruthless, cold, unable to see the people around him as anything but tools. He claims he wants to bring war for the sake of peace, but he simply wishes to escape his father’s shadow and truly surpass him. And he cares not a whit for his siblings or fellow competitors. At every turn he is given the choice to do better, and at every turn he chooses to walk further down the path of blood and violence. So it came as little surprise when he positioned himself as head of a conquering army, intent to overturn everything his father worked to build.
Zarool Ja is the clearest and finest-pointed reminder of FF14’s core lessons. He is the epitome of unearned strength, literally leaching it from the souls of his people. And it consumes him in the end, turning him into a pale mockery of his father, complete with a stump where his second head should be. Resolve without reason, hellbent on conquest at any cost. And so, of course, we put him down. Just another marker on our list of conquerors conquered.
And then Sphene fully unmasks.
Sphene is… very interesting. In a lot of ways, she entirely rejects the idea of conquest. She only wants to keep her people safe from harm forevermore. She actively joins us against Zarool Ja when he turns on them! But therein lies the problem. She can’t keep her people around without taking from others. And so, regretfully, with utmost sorrow… She enacts her plan to keep her hollow world alive. Invading other reflections and robbing them of their aether to keep her people forever sated and able to live beyond death. It doesn’t matter to her that they’re only shades. After all, she is one herself. If that’s what it will take to protect and safeguard her people, so be it. No sacrifice too great, no sin unforgivable. So she does what so many have done before her.
She attempts conquest. And we put her down.
Conquerors do not keep their thrones, after all.
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alicelufenia · 1 year
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Lots of buzz about the expansion announcement but can I just say, I really enjoyed the "Annotated Endwalker" panel with Ishikawa and Yoshida where they went over their writing process and how they maintain consistent thematic callbacks and culturally significant statements across languages. It's a fascinating look at how much work goes into serial fiction like this, especially when it has to cross multiple language barriers and still evoke the same feelings, all while making homages to literally decades old content.
I was HOOTING for the Amon/G'raha parallels, that's something I hadn't noticed before. Likewise with the twins, their grandfather Louisoix, and their father Fourchenault.
And of course, I was so happy that they finally talked about Zenos in Endwalker and practically grabbed the fandom by the head and said "actually pay attention to what he says and does and apply critical thinking for once PLEASE! The words are HIGHLIGHTED on a stream broadcast to MILLIONS. You have NO EXCUSE NOW!" *SHAKES YOU SPITTING AND HISSING*
phew anyway, I also liked the analysis of Emet's lines, and how they were written with the impression that not only was he narrating from the Aetherial Sea, but Venat is just there too.
But maaan I gotta call them out for referencing the shortstory with Azem's unilateral volcano mission to save the grapes and failing to mention that
It
Was Never
About
The Grapes
Literally no one in the story believed that except Elidibus who is the young naïve one.
It's about Azem seeing value in the lives of those living in the shadow of the volcano while the rest of the Convocation did not. That's what makes them a hero in a world that doesn't even have a word for that yet.
Look I know the grapes are a meme and you're leaning in on it heavily but I guarantee you can tell us it's not about the grapes and we'll both appreciate that fact and still like the grapes! Your squapes merch sales won't slouch by just acknowledging that characters can say something without meaning it!
So yeah, I liked the panel.
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misedejem · 1 year
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I hope the game continues to deny Emet-Selch his rest after he died because something new keeps cropping up every time he tries, I think that would be quite funny
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You’re one of the last surviving members of your people, and for 12000 years you and the other survivors have been trying to bring them all back. It has been so long and you have considered giving up more than you care to admit. One of the three survivors has died, another has lost himself, and you’re so exhausted. And what is left of one of the people you loved more than anything has just killed you. Your soul returns to the Sea, and you think 'at least now I can rest’.
But no, suddenly you remember all the things from your life you had forgotten, because the aetherial sea really is like that, and you realise that awful work trip you had completely forgotten about? Turns out the memories you lost then told you exactly how the apocalypse that destroyed your people happened and also how to stop it (you couldn’t).
So you can’t rest because you’re processing that, and you should also be on standby because it looks like the Emissary is making his last stand, and you know it’s futile and you’ve lost, so by now you just want his suffering to end. You gain brief respite when he has been defeated, but the person you kind of abandoned as a Sin Eater for a century has now returned to the Sea and likely has a few choice words for you.
Then the last person in existence that you could possibly want to talk to at that point turns up and tells you to join Her on an inter-shard trip back to the Source, and you know you can’t refuse, because those memories you regained told you that you couldn’t. You know what happens for a while from here, and you know there is no point in resting now, so you resign yourself to watching the person who killed you and hoping their journey will be short. 
At which point, your coworker - who you now know kind of caused the apocalypse because of those regained memories of the terrible work trip - kills your God.
And you cannot rest, because killing your God did free the souls who were sacrificed to summon Him, and they are returning to the Star. Coworkers, relatives, acquaintences, all joining you in the Sea. Among them is the other person you love more than anything, and this reunion is more important than any rest you could ever want. But you also know that person was very good at denying you sleep when you were alive, and he surely has not changed so much that he will not do the same now that you are dead. 
You watch the destruction that befell your home so long ago devastate the Source, and the Warrior of Light returns to the First to make a journey you know will lead them to your younger self twelve millenia in the past, bringing the events you recalled full circle. You think, perhaps, you may finally be able to get some sleep. But this tale has not ended yet, and the Warrior of Light is now in the aetherial sea, making a lot of noise in heated battle with their God, and you and your beloved can do nothing else but watch your dear friend’s soul forge ahead to the end of their journey. 
At which point they drag you both out of the aetherial sea to the edge of the bloody universe to help them. And you do, because deep down you know you wouldn’t have it any other way, and you make a very immutable point of saying goodbye because surely, surely this is the end of your role in their story. You will wait and sleep in the aetherial sea until their soul joins you, and the three of you will return to the Star together. Surely this annoyingly undefeatable force of nature won’t die for some time yet, and you’ll have a good few decades of rest. 
And for a time, you do get that. A few months, a year maybe, of nothing of note happening that would concern you beyond perhaps some idle curiosities that Hythlodaeus insists you should see. And you think this is how it will be from now on.
Until the Ancient’s Extremely Dangerous and Fucked Up Monster Facility that should have been destroyed twelve thousand years ago appears on the Dead Person equivalent of your back doorstep, and you realise your suffering is never actually going to end
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nights-at-crystarium · 2 months
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Fragments - episodes 41-46 author notes
You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!
Get comfy and reread with me the finale of the Il Mheg arc and the intro of a certain loser.
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First off, I wanna emphasize how important this arc’s for Vivi. Had he not liked Il Mheg in general and Feo Ul in particular, the rest of the story would play out very differently, and not in favor of the sundered. His initial positive impression of the First is pretty much the only thing that saves it.
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We've reached a high, physically and emotionally. You know what that means, as per the shb rollercoaster rule :>
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Pan pride pixie blesses Thancred, ca. 2024, colorized. I accidentally gave them the pan colors but hey it works. ALSO! Stars in his eyes.
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Re: distant nightmare, I’ll let you in on a secret, or a third party perspective if you will. Vivi's full of shit, he's too focused on the big picture. He’s narrating this whole story, but his perspective is, well, just that.
Initially this was Vivi's inner monologue, then I thought that I should just let them talk, and it wrote itself.
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More under the cut~
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Drawing a buncha vivi-lookalikes that act soooooorta but not really like him, just slightly off, was a surprisingly fun exercise.
Luckily for Thancred, though, he sniffs out the pixie magic, and knows better than indulging them.
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...Still, what a shitty fucked up day. Sorry, Thancred :’>
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This here’s an example of a moment where I’m uncertain if I’m being too subtle and if this flies over some readers’ heads. He refers to Alisaie’s “job” of dragging Vivi back to msq, which she recently started lowkey dreading (episodes 32-33)
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...Though she goes back to her “duty” in episode 43.
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She's pointedly SILENT throughout the episode, doing her best to hold back.
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Thancred's a man who can say no to begging dogs.
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Gridania mention! Vivi’s gridanian! He never speaks ill of the elementals, he's wary of them even a world apart.
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This pixie's life is something Feo Ul's willing to sacrifice. Episodes 42-43 tell this story in reverse order, yes this’s the pixie that was supposed to agree with Thancred and go with the Scions to the Crystarium.
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As to why there’s a dozen of vivis popping up as a backup: they needed just one fake Vivi to go with the Scions, but try organizing the pixies. Their plan’s already failed when this first pixie-Vivi refused to play their part.
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“Yeah no, our guy’s special, but not as special as to explode in confetti”
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I love his first ingame appearance in that Varis cutscene, this moment has similar energy: barely enters the stage, instantly gets impaled on a long object. This’s not foreshadowing, no, why would you think that-
The “camera” is perfectly still, there’s even some symmetry, demonstrating how calm and prepared Emet is. He didn’t expect much and he’s still disappointed.
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This’s a super old comic. I spent the first half of 2022 testing and trying to find a style for Fragments, back then I had no plans, none, zero, absolutely no interest to give Emet a role bigger than a mention. The earliest version of the script had very few Emet scenes, which, looking back on it, was gonna be a disservice to his character. Well, that changed rapidly in late 2023 when I fell for him so hard that I broke my neck, and now I look back on a lot of what I did with Vivi with new eyes. THE EYEROLL. After spending two years developing a guy for a fun wolgraha chemistry (at the same time I was perfectly aware that Exarch and Emet are foils. I made a foil for Exarch, what on earth did I expect-), I’m going through a mindblow after mindblow as I realize HOW GOOD VIVI IS FOR EMET (and vice versa ofc) and how many things they have in common. This wasn’t always the case, Vivi just gradually got more cynical, tired, ✨grey✨ and everything else that makes a guy consider hitting it with The Other Old Man.
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They’re off to a great start.
From Emet’s pov, this must really hurt, as in how many other shards of Azem might’ve snarled at him like this. Even though he must be numb to it by now, who says that there isn’t the tiniest flicker of hope when he approaches yet another not-Azem. He may deny and hate and try to snuff out that spark, but the fatal Soulmate Magnet keeps doing its thing.
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Parallels to episode 2.
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Apparently, Vivi’s first reaction to encountering his to-be-most-prominent boyfriends is to attack them somehow.
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This’s really, REALLY dumb of him, and he even comments on it shortly after. But yes, his isekai tale in the First was rather pleasant just until now, and it lulled him into the false sense of security. OF COURSE there are ascians everywhere, not just on the Source. Vivi just forgor.
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Emet tests Vivi's reactions to insults/being treated as a lesser, silliness, flirt.
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I regret to inform you that both Vivi and Alisaie have been disarmed so easily. The tone quickly shifts, the weapon’s lowered.
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Alisaie makes bad puns/jokes in canon, I thought it'd fit if she laughed at that kinda jokes too, and in the least fitting situations, to top it off. Alphinaud’s disappointed, even if he can hardly be called an expert in humor.
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“It’s up to you”. Emet stops fooling around, assuming a more serious tone. He may not respect Vivi or his agency here, but he provides him with a choice that's guaranteed to give him some trust points, and uses "we" for an illusion of unity/equality, a not really subtle nudge towards cooperation, it's not me vs you anymore, it's "us".
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Whether Vivi picks up on the manipulation or not remains to be seen, but Emet gets his way here.
Forgive me this lil tangent, but I’m so giddy and excited to write Emet. If Exarch’s decently emotionally intelligent but still obtuse at times, Vivi’s a tier or two above him, he’s not a stranger to manipulation, he registers it being used on him, and doesn’t hesitate to use it too when it suits his fancy. He's quite good at people-ing. Emet, though, Emet’s THE emotional intelligence personified. He’s had literal thousands of years to practice, he leaves everyone else in the dust in this regard. It’s daunting but so exciting to write him, I hope to do him justice.
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Let’s just talk.
𝓛𝓮𝓽’𝓼 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓴.
Mark this moment, remember this line for meme value. If these last words aren't famous yet, they WILL become that when we see what they talk their way into <w<
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Yes I'm going all in on tragic irony of Emet's situation.
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Accidental Emet rp, with the hunching over and all. Or maybe Vivi already unwittingly mirrors him. Or maybe he always did- *kicked and dumped in the trash bin*
Man. I'm guilty of enjoying drawing Vivi in genuine distress. He’s so fun when he’s agitated.
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Hidden Angst Time! It's all hehe haha until you realize that this might be a product of the hectic wol lifestyle forcing him to speedrun his emotions like this. Either speedrun, or be left with no opportunity to process them at all.
Also, the sandwiches! The framing’s deliberate, they’re on the foreground all the time, and Vivi only notices them in the very last panel.
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I! Love! This! Face!!!!!! A rare neutral, relaxed, thoughtful face, he isn't performing for anyone here.
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Nevermind Ardbert getting brutally ignored here x’D
The fact that a guy that Vivi had briefly considered as partner material shut himself away in the Crystal Tower for what could be the rest of his life has stuck with Vivi for good. Or should I say for bad. He might not necessarily care about ARRRaha, still it upsets him that he kissed someone who practically killed himself some days later.
I recently talked a lil more about the Bitchless Liar. This’s how Vivi remembers him forever, take it or leave it. But hey, this cool Exarch guy has big balls probably <- in-universe hc \o/
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This episode taught me to draw BREAD.
Even though Exarch’s been nothing but sweet so far, one thing’s to acknowledge a fact with your brain, another thing’s to wrestle with your trauma and paranoia that have all rights to exist and fester. Ever since HW Vivi doesn’t accept food and drinks from anyone except the few trusted sources. This isn’t really covered in this episode, but hopefully hinted at just enough.
He takes a leap of faith. Or maybe he’s simply sick and tired of living Like This. Maybe sandwiches kill him, and he doesn’t really mind. And, when they don’t, he goes through a visible shift in attitude towards Exarch, as we’re able to see in the following episodes.
This’s all I’ve got for now, thanks for reading till the end~
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lightparty-fullparty · 7 months
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Can't possibly be me Zenosposting again - what is this a day ending in Y?
Anyway, I've been thinking about the murder boy again. This has mostly spawned from my replaying of the Stormblood patches and seeing Amnesiac Yotsuyu, which sparked a bit of a Nature vs Nuture debate between me and my friends.
Basically, my question for this post is "How much of Zenos' whole deal is Nature (aka He was just born like that) and how much of it is Nuture (aka the enviornment he grew up). Some of you might content to say Nature and leave it at that, which is a completely valid outlook to have. But for me there's just one... teeny... tiny... little detail that has sent me on a wild consipriacy theory of a ride that's resulted in this post. Emet-FUCKING-Selch.
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Listen to me, listen okay? I cannot, CANNOT ignore the fact that this absoulete motherfucker (affectionate) is Zenos's cannonical Great Grandfather. Who was very much alive and kicking during his childhood. Emet-Selch or Solus zos Galvus whatever moniker you wanna give the man, is an Ascian. One of THE Ascians. Not only that, he's 'The Architect" the guy who's job it is to design and engineer the calamities meant to rejoin the Shards of the World back together again. What does he do to achieve this? He builds empires, he starts wars, manipulates people and situations to result in untold elemental chaos. Iirc correctly he's responsible for causing all eight calamities that have occured so far in FFXIV. (Eight got undone but I'm still counting it).
Now for this post I'm going to be focusing mainly on the Seventh, Eighth, and Fourth Umbral Calamities. (Which are the ones coincidentally we're told the most about in game). This Calamities all involved Empires. The Allagan and the Garlean, both of which Emet-Selch was responsible for creating. From the Allagans we have the creation of Dalamud, Cyrus Tower, and the Ultima Weapon. As well as an extensive history of biological research. Cloning, Gene Splicing, Mutation and so on. (A sundered mortal's attempts at creation magjicks perhaps?) The Garleans too, have a notible history of biological research, they draw a lot of their modern technology from Allagan design. No coincidence there given Emet-Selch's involvement. But we've seen them use genetic mutation, cyber augmentation, and cloning (Emet-Selch's shadow the hedgehog ass clone bodies because he refuses to look like anyone other than his unsundered self). The also so a lot of research into the Echo. Hydalyn's mark for her champions, and soul maipulation. (Ala Mihgo Dungeon and In From the Cold Duty both points of note for examples of the Soul being manipulated here - physically torn out of the body).
"Now Gengar " - I hear you ask - "What does this have to do with Nature vs Nuture or Zenos?" Well, I tell you, everything really. Hear me out. Emet-Selch designed the Garlean Empire to be the perfect chaos causing conquest force. They have no ability to use either, making them initially vulnerable as a people to the rest of the races. Building up a tasty, tasty resentment and need to feel superior. He sent them marching to 'reclaim their home' and then to 'unify the three contents under their superior peaceful, organised leadership'. The 'Savage Races' summon evil primals and weild evil distructive magjiks. He gave them a perfect cause and reason to hate everyone else. He gave them magitech to level the field and make them supieror at combat. Garlemald as a nation is the perfect war machine. Allagan 2.0 if you would. And Zenos is the perfect 'Champion' to lead that nation into battle. To spark that next Calamity. Look at the guy. Garleans might be on the taller side (depending on the character. Cid is a shorty), but Varis and Zenos are HUGE. Emet-Selch isn't nearly as tall as either of them despite being a blood relation. Which makes me think there was some of that Allagan/Garlean/Ancient playing with genetics and form at work. Make them bigger, more durable, stronger, more intelligent.
It's like Captian America. You want the perfect solider. And a perfect solider for Emet-Selch would also need to be cold, ruthless, manipulative.
There was a post I saw a while again about Mecha Pilots. And OP pondered on the idea of physcially having your brain and body contiditoned to love battle. To love destruction and killing and fighting.
Do you see where I am going with this?
You want someone bloodthirsty enough to cause a Calamity for you, you need them to feel nothing for their fellow man. (Insects all of them. Disappointing. Found Wanting.) You need them to find such overwhelming joy in battle that no other earthely pleasure can compare to it. (Brilliant. Blinding. Trandsenant Moment.)
No attatchments. No emotions, Just violence. I offer to you dear readers, that Emet-Selch carefully modified Zenos' litterally brain chemistry. Making him predisposed to a lack of empathy and his brain releasing those pesky joyous chemicals during battle. Inflicitng and feeling pain. I offer the theory that Zenos has literally been built for combat. If you cut him open, his bones and muscles and organs would be so alienly perfect. Denser, perfectly optimised. Exceedingly perfect. His brain remapped for pattern recognistion and quick skill building, Easy to train in the art of slaughter and tactics. Unable to forge the emotional connections that would only serve to hinder him. (To isolate him from family).
What evidence to I have? Outside of Emet-Selch's known history of building Empires? Easy. I already know he's done this kind of thing before.
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Vauthry. The baby Emet-Selch mutated into half a Lightwarden. Able to command the Sin Eaters and ensured would be raised into a tyranically, childish, king. To keep the First from Uniting. To ensure the Eighth Umbral Calamity would continue along it's march to completion.
Why wouldn't Emet-Selch have done as much to Zenos too?
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autumnslance · 1 year
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The Unsundered and Tempering
There's apparently some kinda post going around ruffling jimmies about the Ascians versus the Ancients, with extreme assumptions about a society we see precious little of ourselves in game and mostly get informed of by people still grieving it millennia later.
Most of them antagonists, that like many other antagonists and allies, folks seem to want to take at face value for a lot of what they say, while often ignoring what they do and how, while speaking.
This is something I have noticed among fandom and roleplayers for decades, so it's nothing new, but there's a lot of times the text of any situation is making it clear that even if a character isn't outright lying--even thinks they are being "honest"--that is not necessarily the case.
It also comes back to making sure one is using all the available information--goodness knows I've made a fool of myself before by missing scenes or text that did explain someone's position on lore and characters!
Regardless of how one feels about certain plot points, storylines, or characters, they all inform each other in canon. Different characters say different things at different times in different company. A scene from two expansions ago may inform a new patch cutscene. Actions may contradict words. It all works together.
For an example, since it's come up elsewhere, I've had doubts about how Tempered the Unsundered were from the moment Emet-Selch claimed it, due to one of the last scenes in ARR, cutscene #5 in "Before the Dawn" where we see Lahabrea and Elidibus speak just before Urianger arrives in response to the Emissary's request for a meeting:
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Lahabrea: The earth is fertile, and the seeds well sown. By my will, they shall reap salvation unlike any the world has known. Elidibus: By His will. Lahabrea: …By His will.
The Ascians in ARR and HW spend a lot of time telling the WoL about their One True God. Here though, in a moment of privacy before the Archon's arrival, Elidibus has to remind Lahabrea to check his ego as his actions are for Zodiark, not himself.
This is an early indication, alongside Nabriales's actions in the previous patch quests, that not everyone's on the same page in regards to the Ascian agenda. Nor is Zodiark's hold on each red mask absolute--even the ones initially at His summoning.
EDIT: Not to mention Fandaniel's actions in their entirety in Shadowbringers and Endwalker; killing one's god to usher in the end of the world is not the act of a tempered man!
Further doubt is placed on Emet-Selch's claim by Tiamat. We get more of her situation in the Shadowbringers patches, in the "Righteous Indignation" cutscene:
Tiamat: Recall, mortals, that it was I who did first summon my beloved, praying with all my being to bring him forth. You who contend with eikons cannot well be ignorant of the consequence. Alphinaud: …You too were exposed to his influence. That you are yet in possession of your own will is testament to the indomitable strength of your soul. Alphinaud: But were you to meet with Bahamut again, you fear you might succumb. Tiamat: Indeed. Ask the dragonslayer, and he will tell thee the power we of the first brood wield. Were I to lose myself to the eikon's influence, all would pay the price. Tiamat: But it is of little matter. For even had I the strength to resist, I yet lack the strength to break my shackles. This prison shall be my tomb. Alisaie: On the matter of Bahamut's influence, at least, I believe we can be of some assistance. Alisaie: If you're afraid of being enthralled, don't be─we have a cure. And while we've never tried it on one such as you, its basic principles are universal. Tiamat: Speakest thou in earnest? Alphinaud: There is no future for those bound to the past. Alphinaud: That you committed a terrible sin, I do not dispute. But if you feel remorse, you may yet make amends. We offer you that chance. Take it, or you will forever remain a prisoner, not of these cruel shackles, but of your own guilt. Tiamat: A chance to make amends… To lay Bahamut's memory to rest… Tiamat: When our own star faced annihilation, Hydaelyn granted us sanctuary. And now your foes would bring about Her destruction. This I cannot allow. For the debt I owe to Hydaelyn, and to all who have suffered for my sins…I shall fight with you, children of man.
Tiamat is a victim of the purposefully corrupted summoning magic the Ascians distributed. Yet she is not entirely enthralled by the Bahamut she summoned; she fears she would be if she were exposed further to a primal. Tiamat, as a Great Wyrm of the First Brood, is more akin in her aetheric composition to the Unsundered than most others on Hydaelyn. She knows she is influenced by the primal she summoned, and part of her remaining bound is to protect herself and the world from that consequence.
And then she chooses the cure and to move forward with her life, when given the option. As do other enthralled figures among the tribes when granted the option.
While there wasn't yet a cure when still fighting the Unsundered, entreaties to end their crusade and move forward fell on deaf ears--but I doubt very much it was due to Zodiark's influence entirely, and more their own stubborness after having clung to this course for ages.
The first cutscene of "Unto the Heavens" in Endwalker presents finally the intersection of original creation magic and modern summoning, as preparations are made to board the Ragnarok:
Livingway: You've done a fine job of readying the Ragnarok, but for it to take flight, we'll of course need the power of the Mothercrystal. Livingway: Given its immense size, however, transporting it would be an absolute logistical nightmare. Not to mention we'd need to shatter it into tiny shards for feeding to the engines. Livingway: But a brilliant idea came to me: we convert the crystal's energy into forms that can transport themselves! Urianger: Thou wouldst employ summoning…or should I say its precursor─creation magicks. Thancred: Care to explain for our benefit? Urianger: As you may have witnessed at Bestways Burrow, the Loporrits are capable of creation magicks, which they use to shape the moon's environment. Urianger: Yet simple though they make it seem, 'tis a highly advanced and exacting art. To perform it correctly requireth that the wielder holdeth the object in his mind's eye in clearest detail. Alphinaud: Hence the ancients' meticulous management of concepts. Urianger: Drawing upon this art, the Ascians conceived of summoning as we know it. Urianger: A derivative that replaceth the complexity of concepts with the simplicity of zealotry to make manifest a creation. Y'shtola: I see… By combining the Loporrits' magicks and the tribes' faith, we convert the Mothercrystal into primals of purer form and greater obedience. Y'shtola: Summoning as it was intended, one might say. Livingway: Indeed, indeed! Livingway: While Hydaelyn gave us the ability to use creation magicks, She forbade us from using it to make anything possessed of a soul─or similar. Livingway: She didn't say anything about fulfilling the desires of others, though. So! Borrowing our friends' faith, we'll create deities using the Mothercrystal's power, and send them to the Ragnarok! Alisaie: Am I the only one here concerned about the risk of being turned into a tempered minion? Livingway: Oh, right, I was getting to that… From what I've read in Sharlayan tomes, it appears the Ascians incorporated an additional nasty element into their summoning method: the fervent desire to assimilate others into one's belief. Livingway: Beings thus created are instilled with the selfsame desire, and use their powers to enthrall people─starting with the summoner. Livingway: In contrast, our creation magicks─the original and the best, accept no substitutes─don't incorporate any of that rubbish, so there's no risk of tempering. I mean, if the being was on the scale of Zodiark, you might feel a little “tug”…but I think we'll be safe enough.
From what we get here, summoning is quite obviously an offshoot of the original creation energies of the Ancients, but twisted by the thinness of the sundered mortals' aether and using faith and collected aether as a substitute. The tempering part was a later, intentional addition, possibly after the Unsundered had opportunity to examine the effect of Zodiark's summoning on themselves and extrapolating that.
Now, is some of this likely retconning to explain discrepancies in how characters acted and how tempering has been used? Probably! There was supposedly a rewrite of the main Ascian/Hydaelyn/Zodiark storyline, inherited from 1.0, which Stormblood allowed the time and consideration going forward on how they wanted to resolve this long arc. There's a lot in ARR and HW that has been recontextualized to fit, though some things still stand out a bit oddly; they did as good a job as they could, especially given the many years and writers involved.
But from the more recent writings, the intention is not to excuse the Unsundereds' actions with "they were tempered." And the final proof comes from Emet-Selch in Ultima Thule in cutscene #4 of "You Are Not Alone", having been through the preliminary wash cycle of the Lifestream long enough to have had various enchantments removed from him, while yet retaining his self before that too is washed out before reincarnation:
Alisaie: You're leaving!? Emet-Selch: Of course. The encore is finished, and I will not suffer myself to live again by Hydaelyn's magick. Emet-Selch: But more than that, the future you seek is not the past we loved. That is why we fought. And why I lost. Emet-Selch: But though you defeated me, my ideals are inviolate. Invincible. Emet-Selch: Spare me your pity. I have no use for it. If you would do something for me─save our star. Emet-Selch: See this tale to a triumphant conclusion, and with elation in your hearts, bid the final curtain fall. Emet-Selch: Only then may it rise again and a new tale begin─with new parts for all to play.
Through Shadowbringers, Emet-Selch claimed to want to cooperate with the Scions, while only giving bits and pieces of carefully considered information, and moving the goal posts whenever they did prove to him they were able to pass his tests and meet his expectations. It is not until this moment where, his duty to fight finished and the fate of his beloved world in any form at stake, that he is truly honest about what he did and why.
(I may also have an analysis WIP about comparing him and The Sandman's Morpheus and that stubborn refusal to change his mind and ideals, but it's slow going)
So while we mostly do have to go by what characters say, directly to WoL or to other characters in other scenes, each conversation cannot be taken in a vacuum; it is taken into account with their other conversations, with their actions, with other characters' input. And sometimes, the writers change direction, and new information will overwrite the old, even as it builds off of it.
The game is not consistent about Tempering and Summoning, though the double acts of Shadowbringers and Endwalker's story tries to clean that up. I just seriously doubt, from all the evidence, that the Unsundered were as entirely under Zodiark's thumb as say, one of Ifrit's over-hammered thralls and therefore not responsible for their choice and actions, the plans they made and came up with and clung to in stubborn guilt and grief and rage for so long they couldn't do anything else, even when presented proof of other options and chances to change or move forward.
Because another thing ShB and EW have shown us in both MSQ and in the Pandaemonium storyline, is who these men were, to become the Ascians we know, and how their own beliefs shaped them individually when faced with such loss--and how in each case, those past, pre-Zodiark selves would look at the eldritch beings they became by the Seventh era, and be horrified. Not because of any god's influence, but what they were capable of on their own.
...Well OK, Lahabrea already had a pretty good idea of what kind of monster he was capable of becoming. He also chose the worst way to handle it, and never seemed to learn from that. Elidibus and Emet-Selch though, while adamant in their beliefs, were also warped by what they chose to do and be, to where Elidibus even refused to remember his past to avoid the pain, tunneling into his duty with no wavering. Only Emet-Selch chose to remember, wallowing in it, acknowledging the monstrosity of his actions...and choosing to commit them anyway.
EDIT ADDITION: Relevant lore info directly from Banri Oda on Tempering and many other things.
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watanabes-cum-dump · 3 months
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Kou's AO3 ffxiv fic rec list
I am so insane and I literally have only been reading FFXIV fanfics for like the past four or so months so here r some of my favorites
I will split it up into three categories: reader inserts, WoL OCs, and then yk fics with only the characters.
WARNING: I read lots of unsavory shit so please heed the tags in the links as I will not be going over those in this list.
*length of fics will be rounded to nearest thousand
Reader insert's
The Rise of Emperor Solus zos Galvus by amandaterasu
(Emet Selch x reader) Length: 25k Status: Complete (one shot) Review: You don't understand I think about this fic at least once a day oh my fucking LORD. 25k words just GONE in an instant I read this in like under an hour. Actually gigging and kicking my feet this shit bro liiiiiike the way this author writes Emet Selch... ouuuuughhh. I love it when a man is just so insane for his woman that he finds her in another life and immediately starts courting her. Honestly, this shit is just so good it reads almost like a historical drama in the best ways possible. Yeah it's romance (and smut) but it's also politics (kinda) and idk about you but those are my two favorite things. I now need a full length novel about Emet Selch's rise to emperor of Garlemald but yk what this shit is just as good. Bonus points for this author for introducing me to fanfic reading extensions to replace certain terms I will be using this from now on.
Tremble, Duck, & Weave by OwlEspresso
(Estinien, Aymeric, Haurchefant, Urianger x reader) Length: 31k Status: Incomplete Review: This inspired my current big project, Hellbound and yeah idk something about Ishgardian politics man. I'm gonna warn you right now a lot of these reader insert recs WILL be yandere/yandere-adjacent with a lot of unhealthy themes, general debauchery, and doves ranging from beaten to dead so uh... yeah. That aside, this is just a really fun time. Seeing everyone interact with the reader insert and all the different ways they show (or think about) their twisted affections... hnnnng it makes me a little insane okay. Also, shout out to pervert Haurchefant you will always be near and dear to my heart. We were ROBBED in the English translation
Captivate by samsaur
(Aymeric and Estinien x reader) Length: 41k Status: Incomplete Review: Remember what I said about doves ranging from being beaten up to dead? Well, the dove is definitely dead here, but it's rlly juicy because this shit really does feel like a horror story. I am not qualified to speak on it, but I think this is a great portrayal of Stockholm syndrome and the way it's written really puts you into the shoes of the reader insert and you kind of feel that hot and silent shame of being held captive like this. Also, one of my favorite niches of FFXIV fanfics is apparently villain Aymeric. Idk why but he is so good as a villain probably because he had every single reason to turn out one, and he would be a far more terrifying villain than Thordan. If Aymeric wasn't our ally during Heavensward, he would undoubtedly be a huge threat to us and this fic kinda takes that and dangles it over your head. Because, yes, Aymeric is holding the reader captive but he is also helping Alphinaud and Tataru out. It's this balancing act where we know Aymeric is capable of really fucked up things but he is still playing at the perfect image of our noble ally. You find yourself yelling at everyone else not to trust him because you, the reader and his captive, know that he is a piece of shit in this AU and I think it's glorious. Uhhh Estinien is there too ig. It's no fault on the author's part but I just don't really vibe with Estinien as a love interest. Though, his dynamic with Aymeric and the reader is extremely interesting to me. I can't say too much without spoiling all the fun, but I think in a way Aymeric has him trapped under this thumb too.
I'd Ask For Your Soul, But It's Already Mine by Dotharl
(Zenos x reader) Length: 29k Status: Incomplete Review: Guys it's fucking Zenos PLEASE read the tags on this one. Anyways I love my porn kjakjfjkjakhshjfjhk. Okay but genuinely I always say this, but Zenos is surprisingly genuine as a love interest because he doesn't put WoL up on a pedestal and just loves them for all of their worst bits and THAT is the appeal of enemies to lovers. This fic plays with that, especially with the reader insert being a Dark Knight WoL where Fray talks some sense into them and helps them recognize their self worth. I won't lie to you, this fic starts out with VERY fucked up Yandere fuckboy Zenos energy with all of the dubcon included, but I kinda don't care + it's just genuinely well written at times. The dynamic between WoL and Zenos is very nice here, bc yeah it starts out... like that and then it evolves into mutual respect when the reader realizes that Zenos would treat them well and not yk use them as a weapon. Albeit, it does go kind of quick but eh, it's like 4 chapters so I can't fault the author THAT much. Besides, not to diminish the fic, but it IS pretty clearly just kind of a pornfest and that is A-Okay with me! This shit was also last updated in like 2022 so I'm pretty sure it's abandoned.
Not a Champion, Just a Knight by Kei_Cordelle
(Haurchefant x reader)
Length: 23k Status: Incomplete Review: This one is in kind of a weird position because this is an AU where WoL dies at the Vault instead of Haurchefant, so there isn't exactly any HaurcheWoL action to speak of. But, WoL definitely haunts the characters' actions. Bro, when I tell you, the worst part of this fic is actually Alphinaud being very NOT OKAY bc WoL is dead. He is just a baby what the fuck do you mean he watched his friend, confidant, and hero die in front of him???? Yeah sorry I love Alphinaud a normal amount. (that is my SON) Anyways, this is written in first person which is weirdly a turn off for some people? I don't get the hate tbh, because first person just opens up so many fun opportunities! You can break the fourth wall much easier and directly address the reader, and you can also have the vibe that this is a retrospective of what the character saw. The later is definitely the vibe this fic gives. It's like, if the Heavensward memoir was written from Haurche's perspective in this AU. To me, I like to think that this fic is Haurchefant telling the tale of his greatest love and regret in writing. I feel like the action scenes could use some work but they're not terrible. It's just that they're literally one to one recounting of the Heavensward trials and it's just not the best. I think there's also the issue of the cast becoming slightly bloated so it is a bit rough to account for everyone's actions during fight sequences. I really do love this fic though because I think it's really interesting to see how everyone is unraveling. Obviously, we as the WoL take on a lot of things that are almost impossible for everyone else so to see them take on the monumental burden of the hero is very interesting. How would our companions react to certain things? Since during most trials in canon we take it on alone, how does everyone else fit in? Are they all doing the mechanics correctly? All in all, solid fic and I am holding out hope for that fated final fifth chapter since the last time it was updated was back in January and it was started back in 2022 so one day I hope that this will be complete and I get to see the final mental breakdown as the squad completes Heavensward with the legacy of WoL looming over them ✨
WoL OC Inserts
Coerthan Traitor by Cascanora (@cascanora here on Tumblr)
(Zenos x OC, a bit of typical Emet Selch and Azem reincarnation messiness) Length: 190k (GOD DAMN-) Status: Ongoing Review: The author of this fic is highkey like a celebrity to me bc I gobble up their art like it's fucking Christmas morning. Imagine being God's favorite and being blessed with the ability to draw AND WRITE??? Fucking insanity bro. Also, their OC, Crow is fine as hell like one chance ma'am pleeeeeeaaaaaseeee goddddddd- Anyways onto the actual fic, I am admittedly only on the first arc which is kind of like the childhood arc ig. But I really love it so far because I've just never seen anyone really write Zenos being kind of young and vulnerable and playful? That's a lie, I think I've read like one Zenos fluff that I'll have to dig through my AO3 history to find again (bc you'd best believe none of my bookmarks are fluffly...) so I just really like the change of pace. Zenos is obviously always put in more enemies to lovers type scenarios so I kinda like this different angle because yeah maybe he was something resembling normal at one point. Obviously he's very fucked up for a reason, but he was a kid too. He didn't always go off about biting jugulars and drinking blood or something, he got fucked up. I am so far absolutely living for a lot of the political stuff bc as I've said before, romance with a side of politics (or vice versa) is my cup of tea and nobody pulls this shit off better than fanfic authors. I'm really interested to see where the political stuff goes but it's like 2am (sheesh) as I'm writing this so I will have to delve further into this fic later. Anyways can I take a moment to talk about Crow and Zenos? Because they're so fucking cute I love themmmmm. I feel like I'm coming at this as someone who has seen a lot of Cascanora's art so I see when Crow and Zenos' relationship develop into when they're adults, so seeing the early stages of it is really cool to me. I don't quite know how to explain it? But anyways I am raving about this fic bc I think it just builds them both up so well and again, I don't see Zenos written to be playful and yk act his age the way he does around Crow. They just work together so well and while at the point of the story I'm at they're definitely just friends, I think that's the beautiful thing about friends to lovers. Regardless if it's romantic or platonic love, Zenos and Crow are a package deal. Also, Emet Selch/Solus in this fic is perfect. I LOVE my geriatric old man telling stories about his past. I would go off about how I am very captivated by the whole Galvus family dynamic but I will save that for the other fics bc this review section is already super fucking long and you had BEST BELIEVE I'm scouring the internet for Galvus family fics. I lied I will talk about this a little more because this strikes an odd chord with me as someone who wrote a lot of my own longform OC x Canon growing up. I kinda shamed myself off doing that kinda stuff as I got older, but diving into FFXIV where everyone becomes fucking Shakespear with their WoLs has made me let go of my fears of being a cringefailure and embrace the OC x Canon. To see really well written and thought out OC insert stuff is very comforting to me bc I often worry abt my own OCs being shitty and not really fitting in but fics like this assure me that hey, maybe I can make cool shit and that really is the most beautiful part of fanfiction and fandom in general. Fandom is this incredible loop of finding amazing shit and thinking "wow, I wanna do that too" and it's just really rewarding.
Save the Last Dance For Me by lalahganaja
(Alphinaud x WoL OC) Length: 11k Status: Complete (yatta!!!!) Review: ALPHINAUD MY BEAUTIFUL SONNNNN AAAAAAAARRRGGHHHSJGFKJGSGKHJHJF. This fic is so delightful bc it feels like I'm cheering on my children to kiss. A'tahja is so fucking precious and her and Alphinaud just bounce off each other so well. This fic also has the other Scions making an appearance and I fucking love it so much. Found family will never NOT make me absolutely batshit insane. Like yes, Y'shtola mamma cat <3 anyways *chews on Alphinaud and A'tahja* This is just so insanely fluffy and it made me slam my desk every few minutes bc cute teenage love story!!!! How can I not!!!! Alphinaud just acts like an adult a lot of the time and gets put in a lot of adult situations, but in this fic he just gets to be a little guy. A'tahja too, obviously as the WoL she's often off doing insane shit that no teenager should ever have to do and bearing burdens that are too much for a little skrunkly such as herself. But here they just get to be silly little kiddies who are very down bad for each other and it's adorable. I think another thing I really liked was A'tahja getting more in touch with her femininity? Idk how to put. But basically she had really short hair for most of her life bc she pretended to be a boy while in poverty, so to see her be A) pampered and B) learn to take care of herself and be more girly was super cute to see. Also, I am just always really surprised whenever I remember that Alphinaud can drink lmao. Like no, you are a baby (I was the same age as Alphinaud when I started playing this game) put the beer down and go sip on a capri sun or smth. God. Kids these days...
Canon character fics (?)
and i'm your clone, your strange creation by egg(strwpup)
(Fortemps familial angst from Artoirel's pov) Length: 6k Status: Complete (oneshot) Listen to me, I love this fic beyond words, but for the sake of my mental health I will NEVER read this shit again. My daddy issues go fucking DEEP like this is utter insanity. Don't get me wrong it is beautifully written and I love complicated family dynamics- but by god this fucked me up so bad. See, I like to personally believe that Edmont was a good, albeit flawed father but his sons know that he loves them and they love him in turn. But I know deep down in my heart of hearts that it is so much more complicated than that because you know, we can't have nice things here at Square Enix. It just personally fucks me up because I too, like Artoirel in this fic, am a momma's boy at heart and I... kinda hate my dad lmao. Basically, I kin Artoirel in this fic. Oldest child who has it out for my father + hates that I'm kinda like him. He loves his mother but holds contempt for his father, perhaps unfairly but can you blame him? (yeah I'm not only describing Artoirel here...) Edmont is a less than stellar father in this fic but you can tell he loves his kids and aaaaaaaaa I'm tearing up again. The complicated family dynamics + the drama of what happened in Heavensward is just so fucking delicious bro. 10/10 this fic destroyed me in every sense of the word and I do not want to go through that emotional reckoning again. However, I will be writing Edmont as a shitty dad in my fics now. Sorry but I am always just so insane for that sweet sweet eldest child and father dynamic because it's always so disastrous. Having parents is just so strange.
mon corps, le mien; mon coeur, le tien by steelthighsvoideyes
(Aymeric x Haurchefant x Estinien with a side of angst + Haurchefant survives the Vault AU) Length: 43k Status: Incomplete Review: I also started tearing up while writing this review because Haurchefant just does that to me okay? I feel like with a lot of Ishgard trio ship fics Haurche is always kind of left out? Or, he feels a bit tacked on to the Estimeric dynamic. That, or he's just sitting there with unrequited love bc clearly this man has not suffered enough. With this fic however, it definitely feels a lot more balanced. Like yeah a majority of the fic is just Haurchefant and Estinien bonding in the hospital, but Aymeric still feels present because of their shared past and how it's constantly being brought up. (in a good way) All three of them get the spotlight so you don't really lean towards one pairing. Romance aside, I really like the Ishgard trio's established dynamic in this fic because they're just guys being dudes. Besties who were in the military together. Like, Aymeric balances the trio out, Haurchefant is the sort of boisterous youngest member and Estinien is gruff and sarcastic and the banter between the three of them just flows so naturally. It's an actual friendship dynamic that serves as a solid foundation for what will hopefully be a romantic dynamic later on. Once again, friends to lovers is so good for this reason because the foundation is already there. You appreciate them as a person and you are aware of their flaws from the get-go, so when it turns romantic you skip a lot of the awkward exploration phase and can just be comfortable with each other. Anyways as for the crying part- the Fortemps familial drama follows Haurche throughout this fic and it does make me a little, tiny bit crazy. Not gonna spoil it, but the way Haurchefant feels about his family in this fic is just so real and visceral because of course it's super complicated. Once again, I like Edmont being a good dad, but realistically, it's shades of gray. Another thing about Haurchefant that not only this fic does but a lot of other people also head canon, is that his selflessness and willing to give can be self destructive at times. Once again, not gonna spoil, but it's just super heartbreaking to read Haurchefant be almost hypocritical, telling his friends to take care of themselves only for him to almost completely disregard himself. That's kind of what he does at the Vault in the first place, like that man died knowing that he did the right thing and protected his friend and oh god I'm gonna cry again I should stop talking... (I am not even kidding when I say that I will eventually write a Haurchefant character essay...)
Unicorn's Favor by Neyasochi
(Aymeric x Haurchefant x Estinien, yet another Haurche survives the Vault AU) Length: 34k Status: Complete Review: So, this is one of those fics where I feel Haurchefant is kinda just taped onto the Estimeric dynamic, and that's fine, it's whatever, I'm here for the porn and the banter. The premise of this fic is that Haurche helps get Estinien and Aymeric together and then smutty gay things happen. And that's all well and good BUT I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE FORTEMPS BROTHERS IN THIS FIC!!! *holds them gentle* For me, the best part of this fic was Haurchefant's relationship with his family which for a change, is NOT super angsty and complicated. It's all very heartwarming to see how in this fic the brothers get along very well (contrary to canon where unfortunately we know they were never very close) and to see Haurchefant really appreciate that he's still alive and gets to be around the people he loves more. It's just super cute and fluffy and now I just need fics like this in general. Yeah whatever it's not canon that the Fortemps bros actually like each other this much BUT IDC!!!! YOU NEVER SEPERATE TRIOS!!!! Speaking of trios, the Ishgard trio dynamic in this is yk it's fine it's whatever. In this particular fic, I find it quite cute that Haurche had a crush on Aymeric as a kid, so even if they aren't all buddy buddy in this fic there's still that lingering admiration and it's cute. I also completely swear by pansexual Haurchefant bc that man does NOT discriminate. Okay enough abt the French I will talk about the Italians (Romans) now.
Far colder on the earth than in the heavens by Altimas_Bane
(Galvus family things) Length: 7k Status: Complete Review: I told you I love my familial angst. No, I'm NOT okay. It DOES make me absolutely rabid that Emet Selch as Solus couldn't help but have some hope for the sundered because of Lucius because can you fucking imagine that??? Your son who gave you a little bit of hope for the broken, shattered people who replaced your brethren dies and that is the nail in the coffin. That is what makes you fully believe that they are unworthy. It was briefly mentioned in the short story "Through his Eyes", but Emet Selch had a little bit of hope for Lucius, and he was probably distraught when his son died. This fic goes over that agonizing feeling of watching someone slowly waste away from sickness. It is slow, it is painful, and it is gut wrenching. Idk man, just read it.
Son, Father, Emperor by January Blue
(Varis reflecting on his life and especially his relationship with Zenos)
Length: 12k Status: Complete Review: Heyyyyyy do you bitches remember when I said that Varis probably loved Zenos when he was younger but eventually held contempt for the monster he created? You all probably thought I was crazy for reading them like this BUT I'M NOT!!!!! Anyways fatherly angst strikes again (I am in shambles and this fic goes onto the list of fics that I will never read again for the sake of my mental health) LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN WELL; Varis and Zenos' relationship isn't so black and white. No I'm not defending Varis- but come on the entire Galvus family is fucking crazy man. Anyways, to quote the comment I left on this fic because I do not want to repeat and retype it myself: "Varis, in a lineage of men that are strong, born into the arena that is politics, is WEAK because he is EMOTIONAL. Solus/Emet Selch calls him emotional in the cutscene he was introduced in (unless I'm hallucinating) and that SENT me because I was forced to rethink all of the information we had been shown of Varis until then. I wrote him off as a shallow villain but I did some digging and Varis is surprisingly the most empathetic in the Galvus household and it SHOWS whenever Solus berated him in cutscenes." Varis had emotions, he had morals he had a line that he would not cross. He has been shown to be merciful (when we parlayed with him in the Ghimlyt Dark) and it's known that he at least cared for his late wife, Zenos' mother. Obviously, he would extend that to his son at one point, right? Perhaps when he was still young and unmarked by the world- right???? See, I really like this fic because it frames Varis' absence from Zenos' life as unintentional, but at the same time, it does not absolve him of the fact that he is a terrible father. I don't want to say too much because I would very much like it if YOU, my dearest reader, took as much emotional damage reading this as I did- but I digress. Varis and Zenos' relationship is not as simple as "Varis hates Zenos" there's obviously some shades of gray here. I personally believed that there's no way Varis hated Zenos because Zenos' mother died in childbirth, and clearly, other people think the same. Listen, you don't just hate your own flesh and blood, at least, not from the very beginning. It's a slow process, and I know it in my heart of hearts that Varis regretted what he let happen to Zenos This fic is just so wonderfully written and I was actually kinda bouncing around my room reading this. Once again, major daddy issues, so maybe that's why I like believing that Varis loved Zenos once upon a time. Something, something, father's love their kids until they grow a mind of their own.
And that's my list! In the future as I make my way through fanfics I have marked for later due to spoilers, I might make another one of these because I think people need to read this shit!!!!
If one of your fics is on here please send me an ask so that I might go back and edit this to tag you!
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astrxealis · 2 years
Text
sorry (not really) guys if you see me return to my obsessed w final fantasy (all), ivalice ffxiv voicelines, bloodborne era rn
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i'm such a NERD !!!!!#i know a lot but i still need to know MORE.#but ya ivalice voicelines... <333#tbh ivalice as a whole i am SO interested in. not just bcs of ffxiv or ff#the stuff between ramza and delita yes?#iirc. ivalice in ff is like the worlds of tactics + ffxii !! i might actually be wrong but i've been sure about this for years LOL ??#so yeah. REAAAALLY intrigued about both tactics and xii. xiv gets a lot of refs from xii#so i'm aware of the scions of light and the scions of darkness a lot and i find the correlations w the ascians super interesting#and yes. the fact that Emet-Selch is the Angel of Truth makes me very very very sad. it's so good :((#bloodborne on the other hand okay i may have not properly played much. i always chicken out#but a lot of the times i did try it out wanting to get far are really bcs of ludwig and lady maria#other themes i was in lov w too but mostly ^^ but now i reaaally want to more now bcs The First Hunter !!! and other songs too <3#also bcs i'm older and hopefully less cowardly... (if you must know. okay i'm literally srsly a coward w scary stuff in games#as in ffxv daemons terrified me for the longest time until a while into act 2? and automata. a simple cave made me so scared <//3)#speaking of cave i miss ac odyssey... i want to play that more sometime! very fun game. i havent even got to do sailing or shit yet tbh#yea. so tjat's that. and on ff as a whole i am always so in lov w ff but ever since fulgur talked abt it more aaaaaa#I SHOULD ASK MY TITA FOR. ff8 soon... says me but i shld finish x and ix SOBBING. she also has xii so WAHHHHH#but time to eat now <3
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#5
Friday
Info-Chan: If you managed to poison Raibaru’s food with a headache or emetic poison, she would be weak enough to eliminate.
Yan-Chan: If that was really the case, then why couldn’t I have done that any other time?
Info-Chan: I give you helpful tips daily. This is just your helpful tip of the day.
Yan-Chan: A helpful tip that amounted to nothing in the end.
Info-Chan: Don’t worry, this one is probably the most helpful one! :)
Yan-Chan: Why are you stalling?
Yan-Chan: I only have so much of the day left before everything is ruined
Info-Chan: Don’t worry ^^
Info-Chan: I wouldn’t unintentionally allow my client to fail. :3
That, of course, hinted that she would allow her to fail intentionally if she so pleased. Ayano sighs as she gets one last text from her crappy informant.
Info-Chan: Toga Tabara seems to need a little help. :)
Ayano frowns, but pockets her phone and searches the halls for Toga.
__
“Oh, Ayano.” Toga’s eyes widen in slight surprise at Ayano approaching him. He puts a hand on his hip with a curious frown. “I’m surprised you’re asking. I admit, I didn’t entirely see you as the ‘favor-doing’ type.” He shakes his head with a hand on his hip. “Before I answer, though, can I ask why you want to do a favor for me?”
Ayano didn’t know any more about Toga than he knew about her, but from what Info-Chan had told her, he wasn’t exactly as impressionable as other students. Regardless, the less Toga was able to say for certain about her, the safer she was from being doubted based on her actions.
With that thought in mind, Ayano subtly began swaying back and forth in a girly manner. She smiled in faux confusion. “Well, I can’t say that I help others because I want sunshine and rainbows raining on Academi, but I can say for certain that doing favors makes me feel helpful.” Shrugging, she claims, “Maybe it just feeds my ego, hehe..”
Toga raises his eyebrows briefly, his gaze and overall posture hinting that she had didn’t quite believe her. He simply shrugged and continued, though. “Well, to each their own. Not like I can say what you do and why you do it.” He claims, folding his arms. “As for my favor…” He hums in thought. “Well, I’m sure you know I’m quite notorious for not being able to pick a club. It would help me if you asked each club leader their thoughts of me- regarding my performance, of course.”
Ayano nods with a bright smile, “I can do that! No problem!” She says, and begins walking to speak to the first club leader on her list.
“One moment.” Toga calls out again. He hesitates as Ayano turns back to him but eventually gets his statement out. “Could you also ask Kuroko what she thinks would be best for me?” He asks, “I value her opinion a lot, and I’m sure she could give me great advice.”
After pondering for a moment, Ayano eventually nods. Kuroko seemed to be the more… normal of the student council. Akane always seemed to be breathing down her neck, awaiting Ayano’s eventual screw up. Aoi spent more time accusing her of things instead of actually catching her doing anything. And Shiromi was just… weird.
Unlike her fellow student council members, Kuroko was more humble and respectful to everyone while still knowing how to use her authority. If Toga hadn’t asked for Kuroko specifically, Ayano likely would have gone for her herself.
__
“Ah, Ayano.” Shoku smiles at her, although his awkward expression hinted that he hadn’t forgotten their previous encounter.
“Shoku.” Ayano nods, “Toga’s having trouble picking a club… as per usual. He asked me to ask you and the other club leaders what your thoughts on his performance in this club was.” She explained briefly, continuing her petite body movements, but keeping her face normal. When she first interacted with Shoku, she showed no changes in her persona or facial expressions, so perhaps changing how she presented herself slowly wouldn’t stand out to him as much.
Shoku raises his eyebrows in slight shock. “Oh, really?” He lifts a hand up to his chin in thought. “Well, he certainly was talented. He was an incredible learner, and apparently often had to cook for himself at home. He didn’t know everything, of course, but knew a lot despite being a novice.” He hesistates for a moment, however, before saying. “I guess if I had to complain it would be his lack of…enthusiasm? He claimed several times that he wouldn’t want to ‘waste time’ cooking for others, or even himself. I guess after spending so much time cooking for himself, it got kind of boring?”
Ayano hummed in silent thought, but nodded. “Right. Is that all? Did any of your clubmates have anything to say about him?”
“Well, Aija didn’t really like him. Thought he was lazy, which he really wasn’t.” Shoku explained. He turned to his tray, grabbing a bag of powdered sugar and sprinkling some on top of his brownies. “Honestly Aija… doesn’t like a lot of people. At all. I think what she didn’t like about him was the fact that Toga saw cooking as more of a hobby instead of anything he would consider ‘important’.”
Once again, Shoku turned to Ayano with a brownie on a napkin. “Do you still not like brownies?” He asks, smiling hopefully at Ayano.
After a moment of thought, Ayano takes the brownie. “Thanks.” She said briefly, taking a bite of it. She then nods, “It’s good, but a little cakey. And I’m not a fan of powdered sugar.”
“Not everyone is.” Shoku says with a casual smile. “I appreciate your feedback, though!” He says, picking up the serving tray. “If other students say the same then maybe I’ll use a little less flour and more butter?” He says, although more so to himself. He nods to Ayano as a goodbye and goes on about his usual routine.
__
“Hi, Yan-Chan!” Kokona waves happily at Ayano as she enters the gymnasium. Ayano waves briefly, not quite knowing if Kokona knew that the “Yan” nickname was meant to be a joke name or not.
Kokona and her club were on the stage, all holding their own script. Tokuko was clearing her throat and excersizing her voice as she was often the singer or vocalizer during performances. Shozo was comparing the script to a book he was holding on the “History of American Tragedies”. Tsuruzo usually got the main role, only second to their leader. Kokona was usually the narrator due to her passion and overall joy of being dramatic, and Riku was usually everything else. Technician, stage set-up, back-up, and so on and so forth. Basically a jack-of-all-trades.
“Ayano! There’s my favorite drama-club-to-be!” Tsuruzo claims, flipping his curled ponytail over his shoulder. He smiles brightly as Kokona walks over to Ayano as well.
“Look! I’ve got the narrator role again!” Kokona cheered to her, jumping a bit in excitement. “Isn’t it so cool?!” She asked excitedly, looking down to Ayano.
Ayano nods. “That’s nice.” She says calmly.
“Did you come to beg me to join, yet?” Tsuruzo asks with a hopeful grin. It immediately fell, however as Ayano shook her head. “Well, we can’t all be bursting with potential, I suppose.” He huffs, but smiles once again. “So, what brings you here, darling?”
Folding her hands behind her back, Ayano responds, “I came to ask you about Toga.” She claims. “He wanted to know about what you thought of his performance during his time here.”
Tsuruzo immediately scoffs, looking offended at the mere mention of Toga. “Performance?! I think you mean lack thereof!” He snapped, placing a hand on his hip with a scowl.
Ayano raises her eyebrows in surprise. “Really? What did he do?”
“What he didn’t do is put in an effort!” Tsuruzo grumbled, before sighing and deciding to calm down. “He had all the time in the world to learn scripts or help with setups or run errands, but all he did was ask questions!” He looks to his hand, counting on his fingers, “‘Why this play?’, ‘Is there any meaning behind it?’, ‘Why is Kizana even the leader?’, ‘Why does anyone listen to her?’, ‘Shouldn’t we do something more unique?’, ‘What’s the point of this line?’, ‘Does this have anything to do with-’ and nothing else!”
“He’s just mad that Toga was honest about disliking Kizana.” Tokuko chuckles, although her voice was a little weaker that usual.
Riku spoke up, tilting his head to the side in thought. “Well, he was pretty talkative.” He commented, “It was only a matter of time before his questions switched from what the play was to asking if it was related to some…obscene murder case or something or other.”
Kokona hesitantly agrees, folding her hands together awkwardly. “Yeah… he did ask some weird questions. Which wasn’t exactly the problem, it was more so that he asked us these questions while we worked in front of him.”
“He wasn’t really an actor. All of us have our own… amount of talent when it comes to acting, but he either didn’t bother or just… couldn’t.” Shozo added. “Honestly, I just don’t think that he joined the drama club to act at all. Of course, I don’t know what he joined for, but my point still stands.”
“He left before I could kick him out.” Tsuruzo smacks his teeth, his arms folded in pure irritation. “He didn’t bother going to a single club activity. It was Monday through Thursday, and he left Friday morning.”
Ayano frowned in thought. She wondered a bit about what exactly Toga’s goal was if not to actually act, but brushed it off. In the end, that wasn’t entirely her business. If he ended up being as weird as the Drama Club saw him then Info-Chan would have provided her with that information. Or maybe “might have” is more accurate.
“I…see.” Ayano nods in understanding. “So, in general?” She asked, turning to Kokona this time for a more fair judgement.
Kokona smiles wrly. “He just, ah… didn’t seem very interested in the first place. I’m sure he could have performed well if he actually wanted to, but he… didn’t.”
Ayano nods. “I see. Thank you for the information.” She says.
“If we were so helpful don’t you think it’s only fair that you help uuus?” Tsuruzo hums, walking behind Ayano and placing his hands on her shoulders.
“...not today. But what do you need help with?” Ayano asks him, taking a step away and turning to face him.
Kokona bounces up next to respond instead. “With setting up the play in a couple of weeks!” She says, peering down at Ayano with an excited smile. “Our leader, Kizana, is coming back to Academi next week, so we want to put in as much work as possible!”
Ayano ponders that and hears Tokuko mutter something like “unfortunately” under her breath. Ayano didn’t particularly care about this Kizana character, but it might do her reputation good if she helps out. Even more so without being in the club. “I’d be happy to help, but like I said I’m pretty occupied today.” She responded.
“Well, whenever you’re ready, we’ll be waiting!” Kokona chirps, waving Ayano goodbye cheerily.
__
“Toga?” Shin seemed to frown at the thought of him. Well, he was already frowning, but it seemed more so out of disdain than being generally gloomy. “Well, he was… very interested in our studies.” He said, quietly. “He asked a lot of questions, but in the end, um…”
Shin looks around the club briefly, as if trying to collect his thoughts, before Supana spoke up. “He debunked all of our studies with ‘science’, and whatever.” She grumbles, clearly not holding a very fond memory of Toga.
“I recall that Chojo was quite fond of him.” Shin said, moving his tall figure from in front of Ayano to reveal the lankier boy sitting in a chair.
Chojo peeked up from his upside-down book, but immediately looked away from Ayano. He mumbled something that Ayano couldn’t quite here, and after noticing that he spoke up. “He listened to me a lot!” He said, much louder.
“Be quiet!” Supana hissed, making Chojo recoil back into his chair.
“Sorry..” He mumbled.
Shin turns back to Ayano. “Chojo is quite talkative if you’re patient enough. Toga was very patient, and listened to everything that he had to say. Though..” The taller boy paused in thought, but slowly continued, “..I feel like he was looking for something whenever he listened to Chojo. And perhaps that was the same reason he spoke to us and asked us questions so often?”
“I heard something similar.” Ayano said, averting her gaze in thought. She didn’t particularly think that Toga was suspicious or meant any harm. If anything, he just seemed like he sat with a club for a week and left if it wasn’t up to his standards, regardless of how high those standards might be.
“I could be imagining things.” Shin claimed, shaking his head, “He did seem to be a very positive influence on the club. He never bothered listening to rumours and didn’t judge any of us via how we appeared. If anything, he seemed to have joined for knowledge rather that drama, which can be respected.”
Ayano nods, “I think so, too.” She agrees, folding her arms behind her back and taking a step back. “Thank you for the information, I’m going to continue asking around.”
“I hope what we’ve said was helpful to you.” Shin says, bowing his head as Ayano takes her leave.
__
“I guess he was alright.” Gema shrugged, immediately straightening his back when Ayano came in. “He was interested in every aspect of every game. Hell, he asked me so many questions even I started questioning what I was playing. I didn’t like it!” He sighed, sitting in one of the chairs at the desk. “If a game I’m playing has secret contreversial lore I’d honestly rather ignore it and keep playing. But then Toga had to keep, like, doing background checks on the developers and stuff?”
Mai spoke up. “Toga looked into a favorite developer of mine and learned that he was… well, a freak to be honest. I still play the game, sometimes, but… it doesn’t feel the same anymore.” She sighs, “I’m at least thaknful that he told me the difference of a good and bad developer. I see why so many of my friends hate that game now. It really hasn't grown much in the last… what, ten years?”
“He was suuuuuper smart!” Midori said, cheerily, trotting over to Ayano. “He sorta did that thing that your mom would do! Like, he would watch us play and then point everything that didn’t make sense! Do you remember that?”
Ayano nods. When she was a kid, Midori would bring over her game system and all of her games. She recalled Kuu saying that if she won against Midori than they all would have a book night. That alone probably made Midori better at video games.
“How’s your mom, anyway, Ayano?” Midori asks, but is interrupted by Gema.
“Don’t get distracted, Midori, you still have grinding to do!” He says, sitting her back down. “Anyway, Toga left pretty quickly. He finished all of our games in two days and then left! I guess he didn’t feel like farming XP for me anymore.” Gema shrugs, once again having to straighten his posture, clearly not yet used to standing up straight just yet.
Gema seems to remember something and smiles at Ayano. Quietly, he says, “Thanks again for those tips, Ayano. Musume and I are on, like, talking terms right now! Girls don’t usually talk to me! You know, unless they’re..” He looks at Midori, and then back to Ayano and shrugs, “..a loser.”
“I’m happy to have helped.” Ayano says, “And thank you for the info. Toga will be happy to have heard your opinion. I think.” She says. “I’m going to continue asking around now.”
“Sure, sure. Tell him that if he feels like grinding more XP he’s totally welcome!” Gema calls, although Ayano didn’t think that she would bother telling him that.
__
“Ayano! We’ve been seeing more of you, haven’t we?” Budo says, thankfully remembering to keep his voice quiet this time. “What can I do for you?”
Ayano pulls her hands in front of herself, intertwining her fingers. “Toga asked me to do a favor for him. He wanted to hear what the club leaders thought of him. Apparently, it will help him decide which one to stay in for good. Or something or other.”
Budo gives a wry smile. “Toga, huh?” He crosses his arms, thinking. “Well, he certainly put in an effort. But.. you know, he’s a pretty thin guy. He only stayed with us for the week and eventually left us for the light music club.”
“Did he do a lot of research on martial arts?” Ayano guesses, causing Budo to smile in surprise.
“How’d you know?” He asks, “I honestly think that Toga just used being in our club as an excuse to do research about martial arts.”
Ayano nods. From what she’s hearing, Toga was just the type to research anything he could.
“He’s a pretty smart guy, though. Some stuff he told me even I didn’t know about.” Budo laughs, “Not that anyone taught me anything. But anyway, if Toga worked out, he could probably properly get into Martial Arts, but I don’t think it’s his strong suit at the moment.”
Ayano nods. “I understand. That’s all I needed.” She bows lightly, “Thank you.”
“Of course!” Budo beams as Ayano moves onto the Light Music Club.
__
“Oh, he was an absolute riot!” Miyuji says, pumping her fist with a big grin. Her smile immediately falls into something more sheepish as she thinks about it more, though. “Well… his skills were. Despite how absolutely a-MAZ-ing he was with instruments… his skills didn’t exactly match his energy.”
Tilting her head to the side, Ayano asks, “What do you mean by that?” She got the general idea, but maybe Miyuji could provide an example.
“Well..” Miyuji flopped back down on her seat, casual picking at some strings of her guitar. “...he stayed here literally from Monday to Wednesday. We did a performance on Tuesday, and he honestly rocked the whole time! But, during the performance, he was, like… completely still! It’s like he only moved the necessary parts of his body to perform the song well, but didn’t enjoy the song at all!”
Myuji lowers her voice and continues. “Between you and me, he was sort of a drag. He was super serious about everything. Hell, the most expression he showed the whole time he was here was when Kiba let him dissect and fix up her keyboard!”
“Sounds like he preferred learning about the instruments more than playing them.” Ayano says, and Myuji shrugs.
“Maybe. I mean- he was only here for three days. I don’t really have much else to say about him.” She says, looking down to her guitar. “Except that he was pretty good-looking. Would’ve been our hottest member if he let me dye his hair.” She chuckles.
Ayano bows her head briefly. “Got it. Thanks for the information.”
“Anytime! Except next time I’m gonna make you play with us!” Myuji called as Ayano left.
__
“Hm.” Geiju hummed briefly, turning his head away from Ayano to paint as he thought. “Very inquisitive.”
Ayano folds her hands together in front of her. “So I’ve heard. Were there any pros or cons with working with him?” She asked, realizing that she would probably have to do most of the talking.
“Very smart.” Geiju said, nodding, but then shook his head as he said, “Not active.”
Ayano pauses in thought, slowly putting Geiju’s words together. It would be helpful if he could provide some examples, but Geiju was strictly a two-word-sentence speaker. As if hearing their conversation, Enpitsu walks in and leans on the doorway.
“He was kind of a drag, I won’t lie.” The orange-haired fellow claimed, although him saying something like that wasn’t too surprising when it came to most people. “He said he never painted in his life, but aced every beginner and intermediate-level training on his first day here. And then he left.”
Geiju speaks up, “Studied plenty.”
“Yeah, that too, I guess.” Enpitsu shrugs, “He came to all of the members of the club and studied our individual tastes to the T. But he still left the very next day.”
Ayano looked to Geiju. “Did he happen to join on Thursday?” She asked, to which he nodded to. Maybe he was following a schedule or had some sort of goal? “I see…”
Enpitsu spoke again, “I think he enjoyed painting, and he was really good at it, but when he left, he just said that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay.”
“He might have been testing out each club, then. Most of the other club leaders say the same.” Ayano said before turning to Geiju again. “Thank you for answering.”
Scoffing, Enpitsu mumbles, “To the best of his abilities.”
Geiju didn’t react to Enpitsu’s remark and nodded to Ayano as she exited the room.
__
“Well, he was definitely a good photographer.” Furredo claims, leaning back in his chair. “He didn’t seem too bothered when he learned that we only really photograph for fun.”
Dafuni smiles sheepishly and comments, “I do think it’s worth mentioning that he didn’t let us see the photos he took.”
Furredo nods, snapping his fingers, “Right, right!” He looks back up to Ayano, “He even brought his own camera. Probably so we wouldn’t have a right to look at the pictures he took.”
“Certainly didn’t help those ‘pervert’ allegations.” Beruma comments. As she does, Rojasu flinches and leans up. He sniffs, looking half-asleep.
“He’s a pervert?” He asks, blinking slowly, before slowly laying his head back on the table.
Furredo chuckles awkwardly and raises his hands to his club. “Let’s not encourage those rumors, you guys. Those are only rumors that really stemmed from nothing. I don’t know why he kept his pictures private, though. He could just be a private guy. Or maybe he was embarrassed.”
“Toga?” Sukubi asked, slipping Rojasu’s bento out of his bag. “He didn’t seem like the embarrassed type. He was super confident and, like, straightforward and stuff.”
Beruma snatches Rojasu’s bento away from Sukubi, but not in agreement. “Right, I think his candid personality shocked people into listening to him.” She says, putting the bento into her own bag for safe keeping. “I say that, of course, because other students hate it when we take pictures of them if it isn’t some happy celebration or event. But they did the opposite for him.”
“So he approached the people he was taking a picture of?” Ayano asked, to which the club agreed to, whether that be a murmured ‘yeah, pretty much’ or a simple nod.
Dafuni giggles, “Maybe you were right about the embarrassed bit, then. Pictures taken face-to-camera probably don’t look too good anyway.”
Rojasu sits up again suddenly with a gasp. “Like that one cat meme!” He said, causing a wave of laughter amongst the group.
Not only was Ayano not a meme person, but she recalls there being several different cat memes. Whatever it was Rojasu was talking about before he went back to sleep was somehow something that the whole club recalled. Or maybe it was completely different, who knows? They didn’t seem like the smartest bunch anyway.
“Well, thank you for the information.” Ayano says, bowing her head politely.
“No need to be so polite, Yan-Chan! Ayano!” Furredo quickly corrects himself and smiles, “Drop by anytime!”
__
“Oh, Toga! Yes, yes.. Very smart, that one, very smart.” Kaga nods his head. “Or, uh… obedient, at the very least. You don’t meet many people willing to sacrifice their lives for science. I would know. I wouldn’t either. Not when there are other people around!”
Ayano pulls her mouth into a straight line before speaking up. “Right… so, is there anything significant that he did during his time here?”
“Uh, no. Er- yes, maybe. I don’t know, you should ask Homu. Toga seemed incredibly interested in her.” The scientist claimed, walking over and peeking underneath the tarp in the corner of the room before walking back to his usual spot and typing something. “A-As a matter of fact, the two of them seemed incredibly close throughout his time here! Ate lunch together, spoke on the roof, and… whatever friends do, I suppose.”
“He was pretty smart, though.” Horo spoke up, messing with a small device that lit up pictures of random students occassionally. He smacks his teeth, tapping on it with a sigh. “Toga, right? He really did his research. He looked into everyone in the club and helped us with all of our separate projects. If anything, he was just an assistant to everyone.”
Nodding, Ayano joins Horo’s side as he works. “And what about Homu?” She asked, watching as Maka’s picture came up on the hologram device. It stayed there for a moment before Horo finished putting a couple of pieces together and pocketed the device.
“Right, um… I’m pretty sure they spoke the most outside of the clubroom.” Horo lifts a hand to his chin in thought. “I wouldn’t call them friends. I don’t think Homu would consider anyone a friend, but I do know that she talks to people who have something she needs. I think.” Horo shrugs a bit, “In fact, I think that was all. They had some common objective and extracted as much as they could before he left for the next club.”
“Do you know what that objective is?” Ayano asks, but Horo shakes his head.
“I don’t. Homu doesn’t really talk about private stuff to any of us. Or anyone, for that matter. I guess Toga was just something special.” Horo said, “I wouldn’t recommend asking Homu, either. She talks to people less the less she knows them. Meka says she doesn’t even bother responding to people on the street.”
Ayano frowns in thought and steps back. Bowing her head, she says, “Right. Thank you for the information.”
“Sure.” Horo said, waving briefly as Ayano left.
__
“Didn’t stay here long.” Itachi shook his head. “I won’t say he easily gave up, I just think he easily lost interest.”
Ayano tilts her head to the side, “You say that as if he was looking for something.”
Itachi nods. “If not a reason to stay then something else. That something is probably why he worked out with each of us for a period of time.” He says briefly. “Whatever the reason, he surely won’t be welcomed back if he pulls that ‘losing interest’ bit on me again.”
“What did he talk to you about?” Ayano asks, tailing him as he walked back into the gymnasium to stretch.
“The club leader, past members. And I think how we interact.” Itachi said, pausing between each example to thoroughly stretch his muscles. “Like I said, nothing much.”
Ayano hums quietly in thought. It was just Uekiya and Kuroko that she had left to ask. “Right, thank you.”
Itachi merely hums, running back out of the gymnasium to return to the track.
__
“Ah, well, he was certainly a great worker!” Uekiya smiles fondly at the memory of Toga. “We really needed a guy like him here. He was sort of the muscle we needed to deal with tougher plants and weeds. Himari couldn’t do all of it herself, haha..” She brushes off a bit of dirt and stands up from her plant to properly face Ayano. “I think the girls just liked having a guy around, hehe.”
Toga seemed to have made an overall positive mark on this club, but that was probably because Ayano only asked Uekiya one question. Anything negative at all she feared would cause rumours to spread. “So you don’t have any complaints? That would be a first.”
Uekiya hesitates, but sheepishly twirls a piece of her hair around between her fingers. “W-Well, uh… He was a great worker whenever I asked, but he and Sakura would usually run off together to go talk about… well… something?” She gasps and quickly says, “Oh! But they aren’t dating! Please, don’t take that out of context. Sakura’s already in a relationship, so she’s not interested in Toga. Plus, it’s been quite a while since the two spoke.”
“I understand, Uekiya.” Ayano nods reassuringly. She didn’t doubt that Sakura wasn’t interested in Toga, as before classed she often blabbed about her boyfriend to her friends. Although they still have yet to meet him.
“Thank goodness..” Uekiya sighs, but smiles again and returns to the topic at hand. “I’m not sure what those two spoke about, but I do know that they went to the Occult Club to grab books sometimes. Toga spoke to all of us individually often, but with Sakura I just assumed they had a similar interest.”
That was strange. Near the end, Ayano’s interests are steered back to the Occult Club. Shin didn’t tell her much except that Toga spoke with Chojo often. “Did she speak with Chojo at all?” Ayano asks.
Uekiya hums, shrugging, “I’m not too sure. I’m sure I’ve seen them talk at some point, but not for any significant reason. Sakura talks to her peers often so it’s not exactly strange to me. Why do you ask?”
“No reason, really. I was just… wondering.” Ayano bows her head briefly. “But thank you for answering my questions.”
Smiling, Uekiya waves cheerfully at Ayano. “Of course! Don’t you worry about it!”
__
It was 7:49 now. Ayano had wasted all of her time doing the task that Info-Chan had given her, that she’d completely forgotten that the whole reason she might lose Taro is because of Info-Chan’s unreliability. She didn’t even know what Osana was doing right now. Hell, she could’ve decided to confess early and she and Taro could’ve been on their merry way to a honeymoon or something.
As Ayano blindly stormed towards the student council room, Kuroko, who was walking out, suddenly bumped into her and instinctively shoved her back with one hand. “Ah. I apologize, Ayano. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
Ayano stiffens up, which she learned was a habit of hers whenever she’s confronted by the Student Council. Or more precisely shoved by them. “..neither was I. Sorry.” She says, taking a generous step back. “I wanted to ask you something, Kuroko.”
Kuroko pulls up her sleeve, looking at the time briefly on a watch Ayano hadn’t noticed she had before. “Alright, we have about ten minutes before we should head to class.” She says, nodding at Ayano as a way of hinting to her to continue.
Ayano folds her hands in front of her, almost subtly copying Kuroko’s movements as she continued. “Toga asked me to go to each club leader and question what their opinions on his performance was during his time there, and I’ve finished that. He also asked me to come to you and ask you the same thing.” She pauses for a second. “You two are in the same class, right? Maybe he wants you to give his opinion on his performance durring class, then?”
“I know what he means.” Kuroko says, nodding briefly. “He often runs errands for me and includes himself in the work I do as the leader of the student council president. He’s a fine worker and has his head in the right place. Even more so than that, he’s a very efficient worker.”
Somewhat like the others, Kuroko pauses in thought. Slowly, she continues. “If he wants criticism, then his only issue is socializing. Or perhaps a better way to word that is… he needs to learn about what the people he interacts with wants. His goal is to finish the objective he’s given, but his swiftness is often misinterpreted as indifference or him having an unfeeling personality.”
Ayano nods. That certainly sounded like Toga. According to the majority of his past club leaders, that was something he struggled with. “So I’ve heard. I’m sure that if he hears that the majority of his peers think that, then he’ll consider acting otherwise.”
“I hope so. I fear he may become disliked simply because of his own habits.” Kuroko agrees, folding her arms back behind her back. “If that’s all, I’d like to continue my routine before classes.”
“Right.” Ayano, for the last time, hopefully, bows her head politely and parts ways with Kuroko.
__
Ayano couldn’t find where Toga was for a while, and considered just going to classes and forgetting the task for today, but finally found him outside of the faculty room window. When she walked over, he noticed that he was reading a book, and had the famous stray kitten perched on his shoulder. “Ayano.” He looks up to her. “I’m glad you found me.”
“It took some time. What are you doing out here?” Ayano asks, kneeling down next to him. The cat subtly switches from Toga’s left shoulder to his right as Ayano approaches, seemingly avoiding her.
“I like the cat.” Toga said, tilting his head to the right and urging the cat to sit in his lap instead. “He’s very quiet and polite. For a stray, that is.” He shrugs, looking back down to his book. “I take it you’re here because you finished my favor?”
Ayano suddenly remembers that she approached Toga with a polite and girly persona, and decides to smile in order to keep that much efficient. “That’s right! In general, everyone agreed that you were very talented. Albeit…” She puckers her lips in thought and hums, “...a bit distant. Aloof even. But a good listener, if that’s any consolation.”
Toga nods, his eyes raising from his book to the grass in front of him in thought. “Right, I expected that.” He mumbles. Despite his clear-spoken acceptance of that fact, he seemed conflicted now that it was confirmed. “And Kuroko said the same, I’m guessing?”
“That’s right.” Ayano says, noticing that Toga’s expression remained as still as it was previously despite her answer. “She also said that she thinks you’re a very efficient worker…. But, in addition to that, she’s also concerned that the way people percieve you might ruin your relationships in the future if not corrected.”
Humming, Toga nods briefly. He sat and thought for a moment, before sighing and standing up. “Right. I’ve been told all of this before.” The cat hops onto the grass and sits in its signature spot as it looks up to Toga. “I guess it’s just something I still need to work on.” He nodded again, more so telling this to himself than responding to Ayano.
Ayano stands up after him, but pauses when Toga speaks up again. “Perhaps like your expressions.”
“Huh?” Ayano blinks, a bit shocked at the sudden comment.
“You seem to not be very used to showing emotion, so I’ll say this. The more invested you get into a conversation, the more bored your expression looks.” Toga said. He continued when Ayano stayed silent, clearly not knowing how to respond. “I know that because I’ve seen you interact with others in many different ways. You pretty obviously switch from looking uninterested to some… flavor or a personality.”
Ayano presses her lips together and furrows her eyebrows, somehow feeling embarrassed and frustrated that someone pointed her out. “...I see.”
Toga stares at Ayano’s expression for a moment, but smiles. “Regardless of how your face look, I’m happy that there are helpful people like you in school.” He puts a hand on his hip, “Your ability to change how you appear is impressive, but I hope you don’t feel pressured to do so around me after this.” He pats her shoulder and walks past her to get to class.
Despite Toga’s kind words, Ayano only feels herself feeling more irritated. Was it that obvious to everyone? What could she change to make it less so?
God, this day was nothing but stress. After class it will be lunch time, which means it was way closer than needed to the end of the day. To 5:00 PM. To Ayano’s inevitable doom.
__
Once lunch time hit, Ayano slowly tailed Osana and Raibaru up to the rooftop. Osana was showing off some sort of playlist to Taro, and Raibaru- ever the obsessive friend- was watching, leaving her lunch pleasantly unattended. How is someone so unecessarily strong so sloppy with their food? Well, regardless of the reason, it certainly made Ayano’s job easier.
As Ayano discreetly slipped some of the stomach poison into her, she heard of how Taro seemed to apparently be a fan of whatever the hell Osana had showed him. Ayano steps back quietly, and steps aside to sit on a nearby bench that happened to be empty. She didn’t want to look as if she was doing nothing, as Toga and another student were sitting somewhere nearby. God knows Toga will notice if she’s being suspicious.
Ayano pulls out her phone as she waits for the stomach medicine to set in for Raibaru. At the same time, she coincidentally gets a message from Info-Chan.
Info-Chan: Are you sure this is going to work?
Yan-Chan: Don’t try to make me doubt myself now.
Info-Chan: I’m not ^^
Info-Chan: I’m just making sure you know the risks of what you’re doing.
Yan-Chan: What do you mean?
Info-Chan: Well, for starters, what do you plan to do exactly to elminate her?
Ayano pauses for a moment, realizing that she didn’t bring any sort of weapon with her. God, of course as soon as she forgets something like that Info-Chan has to call her out on it. No matter, Ayano could just drown her. Surely, she’ll be caught off guard by that.
Yan-Chan: Drowning.
Info-Chan: Right, of course.
Info-Chan: So, hypothetically- considering she’s such a strong student- what if she’s able to overpower you? I don’t recall you training your body this week.
Ayano pauses, balling her fists.
Yan-Chan: Can she then?
Info-Chan: I don’t know :)
Info-Chan: I’VE never tried to drown her.
Yan-Chan: Regardless, what good are you as an informant if you don’t KNOW anything?
Info-Chan: No need to be so rude, Yan-Chan :(
Info-Chan: I at least know that Raibaru’s already left.
Ayano stiffens, looking up to find that Raibaru was already on her way to the bathroom. Without another remark, Ayano rushes down to the nearest bathroom. Thankfully, she could hear the evidence that Raibaru was still occupying the stall.
As her heart raced, Ayano quickly walked into the bathroom. But she paused.
“Jeez, Raibaru. What did you eat?” Amise asks, filling up a water bottle, presumably for Raibaru to drink from.
Ayano quickly ducks back out of the bathroom, her heart thumping, but likely for all the wrong reasons. Why was nothing going as planned? Why have all of these days been a failure? Why didn’t she have the strength, the plans, the knowledge to get any of this done? Even with whatever help Info-Chan was giving her, these past couple days have only been a failure for Ayano. What has she accomplished? Socializing??
Ayano turns her head as she hears Raibaru’s voice approaching the bathroom entrance. “I don’t… god… I don’t need your help, Amise.” She hisses, acting unnaturally rude to the girl.
Amise sighs, exiting the bathroom as Raibaru rushes downstairs, likely to go to the nurses office. “Oh, hey, Ayano.” She says, turning and smiling to the girl. “What are you doing out here?” She asks, folding her arms behind her back.
“...” Ayano hesitates, but manages to squeeze out, “...I was going to ask you the same thing.”
“Ah, well.. I was heading to class since I’d finished lunch, and then I saw Raibaru heading to the bathroom looking absolutely terrible!” Amise said, pulling a hand up to her chin with a concerned frown. “She doesn’t really like me that much, so she didn’t tell me what exactly caused such an upset stomach, unfortunately.”
Ayano falls silent again, looking away instead of responding. If she said anything else she might actually end up saying somthing she shouldn’t. Asmise stands there for a second, before smiling and walking off. “Well, enjoy the rest of you lunch!” She said, walking downstairs to her classroom.
Ayano waits to hear Amise’s footsteps get far enough before she pulls out her phone. Rather than texting Info-Chan, she just blankly stares at the blank screen, unsure of what exactly to do.
__
Ayano went to class, but found herself watching Osana intently afterwards. During cleaning time she stood outside of the door, still just… watching. What was she supposed to do? If she were to get caught or apprehended, it was over for her.
When Osana walked down to put the note in Taro’s locker, Ayano followed her then, too. Her heart beated fast- almost as fast as when she first ran into Taro.
It didn’t matter anymore. Taro would love Ayano regardless. All it took was some threatening, right? Better yet, why not hold Osana hostage, since she was just… so much better than Ayano could be? Right. Right… Not Raibaru or Taro or the student countil or the staff would dare come forward if that were the case, right? Since Osana was so important to everyone.
The running didn’t help Ayano’s beating heart, and she found herself panting and almost feeling lightheaded as she ran up to the base of the hill. Before she could put her… plan into affect, however, someone suddenly grabbed her by the wrist.
In a poorly chosen split-second decision, Ayano swung the knife at whoever it was, but her wrist was caught.
Amise smiles at her. “Put that away, Ayano. There are people around, you know.” She hissed, her voice colder than the kind expression on her face. Slowly, she urges Ayano to slip the knife back into her pocket. “Now watch.” She says.
Maybe it was because Ayano felt so lightheaded and disoriented, but she stood there. She allowed Amise to grab her shoulders and turn her to the sakura tree. That’s when she noticed something. It wasn’t Osana up there waiting for Taro. It was Osana running up to meet Kyuji. “...huh?”
“I guess maybe you were too anxious to notice, hehe.” Amise chuckles.
Ayano struggles to calm down, but does eventually, and recalls the previous events in her head. No, Osana didn’t put a letter in a locker… she took a letter out of hers. That’s why she was running. Was she not planning on confessing after all? What had happened? “...what..?” Was all Ayano managed to mumble out before Amise continued.
“I’m sorry that Info-Chan was messing with you so much.” Amise hums, folding her arms behind her back. “It was only because I insisted on helping you.” She holds a hand up to Osana and Kyuji, who were certainly having a pleasant conversation. “While you were unfortunately struggling, I was able to get the two together. Or at least make Osana choose between someone who showed no interest in her and someone who did.”
Ayano furrows her eyebrows. Was it that easy? Wait, why did she do that? She knew Info-Chan? Insisted on helping??? “You… you work for Info-Chan?”
Amise makes a slightly offended face. “Meh. I’d call us business partners if we were on good terms, but somewhat.” She replied, shrugging. “I’m sorry again for the trouble. Info-Chan didn’t want your victory simply handed to you, so she insisted on giving you a hard time in exchange.”
“...and… and where’s Taro?” Ayano asks, bunching up her skirt in her hands anxiously.
“On his merry way home. He didn’t recieve a letter for him to stay, after all.” Amise said, putting a hand on her hip with a smile. “But anyway, congratulations, Ayano.”
Amise folds her hands behind her back. “You’ve… eliminated Osana-Chan. Taro is now free for the taking!”
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starrysnowdrop · 3 months
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Why Hermes?
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So, some of you might have wondered why I decided to ship Hali’s Azem, Urania, with Hermes instead of your usual Emet, Hyth, or even Elidibus. As I have been asked this particular question before, I decided to write out my answer here for all that are curious to know. And what better opportunity to do so while celebrating #AppleSyrcus Week! This was supposed to be the entry for the Free Day, but I’m a bit late for that, so I apologize for the delay.
See below the cut for the full details.
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I want to start by saying that it’s been difficult at times for me to talk about Hermes, for multiple reasons, but possibly the biggest reason is that so many in the fandom seem to hate him. I mean he is the one that is easy to point to and say that he caused the final days in the first place and that he’s to blame for literally everything that happened afterwards. I won’t get into a debate here about how much of it was Hermes to blame, or the Ancients’ society at large, but there’s no denying of his role in the Final Days, being the creator of the Meteia and letting Meteion escape after knowing what the Meteia planned to do. So I get it, I really do. But it also means that it makes me really anxious about even talking about him, let alone gpose or write about him. Over time it’s gotten easier, so I’m okay with writing this out now.
Here’s the thing. From the beginning, I was in the “love to hate him” camp about Fandaniel. I was intrigued with his character and wanted to know more, but I wasn’t exactly excited about his total nihilism, especially in the Pre-EW patches when we first got a taste of him. He got a bit more interesting after the Amon reveal right before Tower of Zot. As a fan of Allag stuff, I liked the reveal and all, but I still didn’t know at all what to expect next. When we got to Fandaniel’s death when he became the heart of Zodiark, I felt like he was an interesting villain, but not my favorite in FFXIV, and I thought that was that. I actually didn’t think we’d get anything more about Fandaniel, let alone his Unsundered self.
Then came Elpis, and the more I heard and saw, the more I realized that I was going to fall in love with this character, or should I say the Unsundered Fandaniel anyway. The reveal that his name was Hermes got me so damn giddy already because I have always loved Hermes from Greek Mythology. Then when Hermes first spoke in Elpis, I recognized Jeremy Ang Jones’ voice, as he was clearly Amon/Fandaniel, but he spoke so softly and it just hit me with the feels instantly. I have no idea why, but I find a great voice to be a huge turn on, and Hermes just did it for me. His beautiful green eyes also greatly help in the sexiness department for me.
Seriously though, the more I learned of Hermes, the more I felt for him. His caring nature and compassion for all of the creations that entered his care, his devotion and fatherly love for Meteion, and his kindness towards the WoL, who was just a particularly odd familiar to his knowledge, just made me love him so deeply. And he was so unique amongst the Ancients, with his love for all creatures, not just his fellow people.
Another major reason why I got attached to Hermes was that I saw a lot of myself in him with his depression, as I myself have chronic depression, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, and I am also neurodivergent. Hermes spoke to me in a way that not many of the other characters had before. Though he was this all powerful Ancient, an immortal being who had the power of creation, and held an important position in his world, he still was not happy, and he was disillusioned with Ancient society. Hermes feels so real to me, and I couldn't shake how much I felt for him.
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Even way after I had finished 6.0, I still couldn’t shake him from my mind. Though I had no intention on shipping my Azem with him for the longest time, since it took me nearly 2 years to do so, he had stolen my heart, just as Aymeric, G’raha, Cid, etc. had done before. When I created and developed Hali, I actually got some inspiration to flesh out her Azem, as I didn't do anything with Yume's, but I soon created Urania. And when I was writing out my ideas, my heart knew what the right choice was. I knew that Urania would love Hermes, but it ultimately is a tragic love story since it doesnt work out, as they are broken up before the summonings of Zodiark and Hydaelyn and the Sundering. Unlike how I had written Yume, Hali's Unsundered self would be the kind-hearted, compassionate, and understanding person that would be perfect to see Hermes for who he is and fall in love with him, even though Hermes will ultimately sabotage the relationship and push Urania away over and over again.
Lastly, I wanted to point out that my love is very much for Hermes, and not as much for Fandaniel as the sundered ascian. I very much see Hermes, Amon, and Ascian Fandaniel as all separate characters, even though they all share the same soul whose trauma can be first attributed to the suffering that Hermes experienced. Though I still sympathize with Fandaniel to a point, I certainly do not ship Hali with Fandaniel, nor Hermes even. This is because Hali's heart belongs to Aymeric, and although she recognizes that she has some feelings for Hermes when she meets him in Elpis, Hali ultimately attributes that to Urania's feelings and not her own.
As of right now, I am still figuring out not only a canon timeline, especially with the newest short story coming in and wrecking a few things that I had planned, but I also have a few headcanons for the Modern AU with Urania x Hermes. So for now, I’ll give you a handful of headcanons for the Modern AU.
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Hermes is a single father who adopted Meteion when she was a few months old, and she is obviously not a familiar in this modern setting but a little girl who wants her papa to find love. He is in graduate school working towards his master’s and eventually his PhD in Astronomy, but he still doesn’t earn enough to support himself and his daughter, so he is a barista at the local coffee shop. It is at the coffee shop where he meets Urania, who is a regular customer. They then bump into each other at the university and realize that they are in the same Astronomy graduate program. Some other hobbies that Hermes has include cooking, bird watching, and stargazing, along with spending his free time with Meteion as much as he can. I’m still figuring out how I want the romance to develop, but I’m very excited about this AU because it can just be a sweet love story and no big bad stuff happening like the Final Days.
That's about it for why I love Hermes as a character, and ultimately why I decided to ship my Azem with him. Please feel free to send me an ask or a message if you have any further questions or comments.
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