#like id see his favorite food on sale or a book he'd like and i'd go to buy it
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#tw vent#tw death#someone very close to me passed away in 2013#and it took a very long time for me to get to the point where my grief wasnt something all consuming#and its at the point now where i think about him in situations where i wouldve if he was still alive (if that makes sense?)#but when he first passed#i kept forgetting he'd died in random situations#like id see his favorite food on sale or a book he'd like and i'd go to buy it#and then id remember very suddenly and it was really hard#and today i was watching this series on youtube i really like called pretty cool hotel tours#and i got so startled because they stayed in a hotel in his home town that id actually stayed at with him and the rest of my family in when#i was a lot younger#and my first thought was 'oh wow i havent been to iowa in forever i should go see him'#and its the first time ive forgotten like that in so so long#and im grateful for it because im glad to remember him#but also it doesnt feel great.#delete later#clem.txt
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