#like idc if you anti one of them (for valid reasons of course)

[wallyslinda]

not to anyone in particular but it's okay to follow (me) if you don't like any male characters on my character list btw but you need to go away if you don't like the girls

[mimikoolover]

Hi! I’m about to dump a little ramble here I hope that’s okay :)

I’m fairly new to bts and have only in the last six months started to catch up on everything and then started observing the fandom. I have to say, the one thing that’s left me completely baffled about this fandom as an outsider is the way jimin and jungkook’s bond is treated.

I was prepared for seeing appreciation for all the different friendship-dynamics between the members, and I have seen that and it’s beautiful. Jimin is my bias so I like seeing his bonds with everyone. But the general difference in energy surrounding jikook compared to the other friendships is wild to me.

I was prepared to see tinhat type shippers who try to prove two members are romantically/sexually involved and will die on that hill, because there’s always those in every fandom. (and ofc I’ve seen those here too with several different pairings and I don’t necessarily have a problem with it unless they’re being completely inappropriate or harassing them or people in their life or whatever, you do you in fan spaces I guess), but what I was NOT prepared for is seeing jikook biased fans and shippers(?)supporters(?) spending more time defending the fact that they are even close AT ALL, than they do trying to prove an alleged romance. When to me as an outsider it’s incredibly obvious they have been/are one of the closest duos in the group and love each other dearly. Why is that not just accepted as fact? Why are people so hell bent on downplaying that reducing them to purely fan service? Of course they do fan service, all of them do, all groups like that do, but two things can exist at once. It’s super easy to detect when band members are acting close on camera but aren’t actually close, believe me I’ve seen it before, and jikook are definitely not that.

So why??

Some patterns I’ve obseobserved:

- Solo stans love rivalry. JM and JK are the most popular/stand out the most and have the most success with solo songs etc, therefore their fans simply have to dislike the other and see them as competition, -> can’t appreciate them together

- People dislike shippers who see them as something more than friends so much that it “ruined” their bond for them and they can’t appreciate their interactions because of it. (Childish if you ask me, never let what other fans say affect how you feel about the people you follow)

- They’re tinhat taekookers (nothing more to say here lol)

- They’re homophobic and/or jealous and can’t stand some of their flirtyness/jokes/other gay shit they do lol (but it seems to be mostly okay if it’s other pairs, only these two bringing out such a strong anti reaction… which I think is rooted in a few different things but that could be a whole other ramble so)

- They take out negative feelings about perceived mistreatment/favoritism/questionable career moves/believing one is better than the other etc on JM andJK to the point of not wanting to see them together. And I’m not saying some of those concerns can’t be valid, but letting it drive you to dislike one of them so much you can’t appreciate their bond is wild.

- They just don’t like one of them or both for whatever reason, which sure whatever not everyone’s gonna vibe with everyone. Who fans vibe with or not isn’t gonna change the fact that they clearly vibe with each other though, spewing negativity is pointless.

I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on this if you have the time! Why do you think they’re so “controversial”?

Oh also for the record, I’m firmly in the “idc what they have just love them” camp. I can see why some think there’s feelings/attraction there, I can also see why some think it’s simply close friendship/found family/mutual admiration. That’s not the point here though.

first of all i hope you've been having loads of fun becoming a fan, i wish i could go back to the time when i first discovered bts🥹💜

i think the reason is all of what you've said but i have to add one more which is taekookers actively spreading proganda about jikook hating each other. that is a massive one i fear. from what i hear the first group most people come across when they become fans tends to be taekookers (i suppose the reason is that many people get drawn in by tae or jk) and tkkers are super hardcore when it comes to spreading pure hatred towards jimin and jikook. the biggest tkker accounts on twitter and youtube are hardcore haters of jimin and jikook and they come up with wild theories about how jikook hate each other.

i think they do that because they want to pre-empt people looking at jikook and seeing that they're close then questioning if jikook are in fact closer to eo than taekook, which wouldn't bode well for tkkers. once people are brainwashed any ridiculous theory will fly because they already want to believe that jikook hate each other.

whatever jimin or jk do alone or together, tkkers' first reaction is to relate it to proving that jikook don't get along. it's obsessive and frankly so ridiculous. for example apparently jungkook took a trip to japan with eunwoo last year. tkkers' first reaction was that this proves that jikook aren't dating and they're not special because jimin wasn't the only person jungkook 'took to' japan. which is lowkey funny to me coming from tkkers because it's not like jk went with tae. by their logic wouldn't they find it weird that jk travels with someone who's not tae?😭but this is just an example of how far tkkers take their hate and jikook could do literally anything in the world, it would still mean that they hate each other. they didn't have to connect jk and eunwoo's trip to jikook but they still did because they're obsessed and they can't stop talking about how much they think jikook hate each other.

solos are very loud these days but from what i've seen they don't tend to focus on jikook's relationship (or their faves' relationship with other members in general) more than just spew hate towards the members. it's not very ship-specific i don't think. undoubtedly some of them dislike jikook's bond because they don't want them to be close but it's more coming from misguided hate towards either of them than anything actually related to what jikook say/do.

however i will say i think solo stans' bs do affect jikookers/people who would be a fan of both of them and more and more people are 'choosing sides' which to me is really sad...it was definitely a case in the past that most jikookers biased jimin but now the majority of those people have become solos or if they don't say that they've become solos, they displayed very extreme anti reactions to jungkook which is why i have half of jikookers on tumblr blocked😭

there's also a big issue with tkkers harassing people who post positively about jikook especially if it's someone who's a 'non shipper', for example they made numerous 'non shipper' youtubers delete positive reactions to jikook videos or flooded their comments saying that jikook hate each other. 'non shippers' like anyone else don't want to be harassed so many just choose to not talk about jikook i guess.

i've not really been in fandom spaces this year like i was in the past and what became apparent to me is that a lot of drama is just on twitter which is almost like its own bubble. if you look outside of twitter i think the majority of bts fans bias either jimin or jungkook and a lot of those people don't have an issue with their friendship. i see a lot of people get chimmy and kooky keychains together for example and i think outside of twitter a lot of people will be enjoying jikook's travel show.

a reason why i kind of 'left' twitter is because i realised that jikookers focus on the negativity around jikook a lot both from tkkers and solos. i think perhaps there's a tendency for jikookers to highlight the negative bc we want to protect jikook and react strongly to hate but i think this can skew how we think people view jikook if we are focusing on the negative so much. i mean i completely understand it but i think this is also why there's so many solos in the fandom in general, we want to protect the members so much so that we end up focusing on the hate which will then start to seem really extreme and people get more and more passionate towards defending whoever they think deserves it most and end up resenting other members because of their fans' behaviour.

i'm kind of down about bts fandom in general these days because it seems to be in shambles. a good thing though is that years of tkkers and solos didn't seem to affect jikook's bond at all which i didn't think it would. i'd love to say that i think things will get better and people will start to appreciate jikook's friendship but i just don't see it happening😭maybe i should become more hopeful if we are getting people like you with common sense becoming fans!

[thelovelybitten]

SHUGO CHARA RANT PT 8

buckle ur FUCKING SEATBELTS FOR THE LONGEST RANT IN HISTORY

tw: anti-amuto, mentions of pedophilia, mentions of child abuse

so I watched episode 77 and sobbed, it’s the episode where Amu gets caught with Ikuto by Tadase since he got stood up by Amu hiding Ikuto while he’s taking a shower.

the ACTUAL RAGE I HAVE AT SOME OF THESE CLOWNS IN THE CRUNCHYROLL COMMENTS… I have never felt this much rage for a ship since JACKUNZEL circa 2014 but more on that later

so first of all, I’m so confused on why Amu’s mom is so lax after finding the two of them in the bathroom. BROTHER IN CHRIST I WOULD BE FUCKING ANGRY IF I FOUND MY OWN 13 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WITH SOME 18 YEAR BOY IN THE SHOWER ??!?!?!? like WHAT ?!??!?! I understand Amu’s mom was trying to be considerate and give the two of them the benefit of the doubt, but GIRLBOSS WHAT!?!?! HOW DO U KNOW HE HASNT DONE SHIT TO YOUR DAUGHTER !?!?! HES AN ADULT ?!?!? I would be CALLING THE POLICE IDC…. I’d be that psycho mom iDC that’s my GOD DAMN DAUGHTER. Anyways that part had me so FUCKED UP it doesn’t make sense at all.

Second of all, the FACT THAT TADASE IS LET IN AND AMU CLEARLY TELLS IKUTO TO NOT COME OUT OF HER ROOM AND HE DOES ?!?!?! REVEALING TO TADASE HE’S BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME ?!?!? some of the CLOWNS and Tadase antis in the comments being like,,, Tadase is so annoying, we have to laugh at him crying, Ikuto is so much better suited for Amu — LIKE DO ANY OF U HEAR YOURSELVES ?!?!?!? Tadase reacted the way most kids react at that age. He was furious— especially since he was already pissed off at ikuto for family reasons and finds him in his girlfriends’ room ?!?!? Of course he was mad, she kept this a secret from him and the only thing going through his mind at that moment was rage and betrayal. He couldn’t let Amu speak obviously because he was too in his head to make conversation, he just needed out of what he was seeing. It’s FUCKING VALID ?!?!?

Now ikuto opening the door and then DEGRADING TADASE FOR SOMETHING THAT TADASE WAS SO FUCKING INSECURE ABOUT SINCE HE DOESNT KNOW HIS OWN DAMN FEELINGS YET AND SHARED IT WITH THE ONE PERSON HE TRUSTED, ONLY TO GET CRITICIZED BY HIM was probably the reason I hate ikuto’s character in this part SO DAMN MUCH. U KNEW HE WAS THERE AND OPENED IT ANYWAY. I know Yoru says that he got them to hate them to not get involved but BROTHER ?!?!?? You could have just straight up left and that would be the end of it but NO. DIG YOU A GRAVE I GUESS???

I just cant see how Ikuto doing this to protect the family makes any sense since if he had just left it would have been completely fine since it’s normal for him and his personality being the ‘stray cat boy’. No one would have blinked an eye ?!?!? Anyways. SO DUMB

Also Amu screaming at Ikuto has never felt so good go AWF queen

The infuriating part about all this is everyone thinks Ikuto is in the right while Tadase is in the wrong for the way he acted when he found out.

I will never be able to wrap my head around it.

Y’all can ship what you wanna ship, but it’s definitely not for me at all. Gosh.

I’m going to BED.

[abnahaya]

I’m a Paradox and Today I’m Overwhelmed

I like to describe myself as a paradox, I always try to embrace the “two sides of a coin” that lies within me, many times two opposites. Yesterday was one of the days when I was overwhelmed with paradoxical emotions, leaving me a bit confused myself about what to feel.

I got the news that my grandfather passed away yesterday. He was always a quiet person, I never talked much with him even though I visit him yearly, but he was a pretty cool person. I remember when my then boyfriend –now husband, visited my family to ask my hand in marriage –and my mum dragged him to visit all my grandparents as well, my grandpa who had already blind gently said that he was happy for us. He kept trying to make a conversation with Jake even though he couldn’t talk in English. How Jake slowly held his hand and helped him to walk around the house was probably the cutest thing. I always thought of my grandpa as a cute person –maybe because all my grandpas dotted me, so I had a soft spot for elderly men. Grandpa’s death wasn’t a surprise for us because he was old and even though he didn’t have any terminal illness, he became a lot weaker ever since he lost his sight from cataract, my family had always silently known that he didn’t have much time left.

Unfortunately, life has been tough on this side too. It’s a lot harder for me to get a job here, even simple ones –maybe due to my visa, or my too-Indonesian background, idk. Being at home all the time, I used up a little too much of our internet quota, so I had to hold myself a lot to use the internet for at least the next two weeks. That’s why I received the news about grandpa a bit too late, and I couldn’t answer the videocall from my family when they arrived at his funeral. I told them my condolences and everything but of course, as an Indonesian with a communal family, I felt very guilty for not doing “enough” to show my loss of grandpa. Not that I even know how to make it right, either.

As I was on my phone, I looked up to the social media and alas! People were freaking out! Turned out the parliament and the government of Indonesia had been enacting problematic and controversial bill, KUHP (penal code) while putting an important and hard-fought bill on hold: RUU PKS (prevention of sexual violence bill). One of the activists that I follow on Instagram went on a rally to protest and updated the development through her Instagram stories (she was later invited to join the meeting in when the parliament discuss about the importance of the anti-sexual violence bill, along with the opposition mass), and confirmed how the bill was once again put on hold despite of some parliament member who supported the bill. The penal code, on the other hand, was by the skin of our teeth. Imagine when you could get thrown into jail because a consensual sex, and the one reporting you is the village chief who you don’t even know. Yes, jail term for men and women who have sex outside of marriage –or even merely living together as roommate, someone who talks about sex and contraception even for educational purposes, and even forbid abortions for any reason but medical complications. And that’s just some pieces of it. I am terrified for my nation.

I tried to get a grip of myself and try to be positive for the rest of my day. I remembered that I’ve got a dance class to sign up for. After facing all my cultural problem trying to ask my husband to pay for the class, and even though I might not be able to post too much excitement for the sake of self-modesty in such a bad atmosphere between my social circle, I thought at least, I could escape the misery. I asked a tarot reader before, on a free card pull session of yes/no question, and she said I should go to the dance class (I was hesitating because I feel bad to spend money for leisure when money is tight in our household) and so I was getting more determined to go! Unfortunately, once again, life squeezed a lemon on my freshly wounded heart. The dance class was sold out. Apparently, I the website didn’t display the “sold out” sign on the mobile version, I only found out when I opened it in my PC, as I tried to pay. And that was the last dance session before summer (it’s still springs here until December).

Between all the depressing mood, my best friend texted me. She heard about my grandpa and gave her condolences. After a brief talk, she asked for my bank account number. I was confused, I wasn’t the one to whom she could give consolation money too. But she said, she just wanted to “treat” me to buy boba tea or any snacks, because she missed me, and she hoped I could remember her while getting my treats. That was it, I couldn’t help it anymore. I cried silently. It was the sweetest thing! I was so touched that I almost forgot my sorrows, my heart warmed up in an instant.

And then I remember my meditation that morning –if it could be called a meditation, but hey, I’m trying! I told myself –and whoever was listening to my inner voice, that I wanted to live in the present. I somehow remembered the big message I got from the Summer Healing session: live in the present, and also from the book I read for it, Love Without Conditions by Paul Ferrini: I don’t have to seek happiness, it’s not in the place with ifs; “If I have enough money…”, “If I were in Bali….”, “If tomorrow we do this…”, happiness is today, now, at this very moment. And so, when I asked myself that evening, after gotten my heart break from sadness, guilt, disappointment, fear, and some warm fuzzy feeling when someone care: did I deserve to be happy? Does it make me a bad person to be happy whilst others are not?

No. I could be happy, and maybe I was happy. Of course, it didn’t make me a bad person, because this was my happiness. You get it? It’s a paradox. You can be happy and sad and disappointed and content and afraid and relieved and angry and calm at the same time, in fact, it’s what we are most of the times! We’re human and life is crazy, we encounter so many things in one day, heck even in one minute that can create many feelings inside us. It’s the prove we’re alive. Only a lot of times, we think about a particular thing or feeling so much –mostly negative ones, we forget that we still have other feelings filling our heart to. Or at other times, we force ourselves to feel only happiness, and denying other feelings, which drives us to a toxic positivity.

The trick of being a paradox is to just be one. Feel everything that’s coming to your plate and make yourself full, then let it go for another day. Your feelings are all valid and they are there for you. Feeling something doesn’t determine your worth, doing something does. It reminds me of a statement of a psychotherapist I quoted for my IGTV discussion: “it’s not the whole person that’s toxic, but it’s their behaviour or the relationship you have with them.” For example, if instead of writing this post I wrote a tweet saying: “Fuck you all pussies, suck it up, our country is a shit hole. But idc, I’m happy today!” Well, I’m an asshole, because by then I value others’ feelings less and probably denying my own negative feelings too. When it comes to social context, it’s always better to realize the boundaries –which I would save for another day’s post.

But basically, I just wanna say that it’s okay to be overwhelmed with life. It’s fucking normal. What I do is that I embrace it into my identity and try to do what I can for the better, even only signing an online petition or writing a blog post. Cherish yourself first!