#like if you read and don/t reb/log

[trapper-faggot]

Jesus christ im a failure like i cant fucking do anything

like ffs im already so overwhelmed by school and im barely full time and ive only had 1 class so far

and people are out here going to grad school and having careers and im overwhelmed by school as an art major like ffs i only have one class thats going to require reading and writing and im dreading it so bad

also i cant even remember how to code like ever but any time i complain to my mom about my lack of a future in art and how i need a steady remote job she just goes like “well you can code like me” like its that fucking easy

and like i really need a job, like holy shit i need money but the only 2 times ive tried full time school and part time work the first time i quit the job after like a month so i wouldnt fail my classes and the second time i dropped out of college and didnt go back for 2 years so whats going to make this so different, especially with where my mental health is rn

and the fucking icing on the shit cake this is is im nearly out of my adhd meds, and the pharmacy is saying i filled them when I didnt and so i need to call someone and im worried im not going to be able to get more for a month cause theyre a controlled substance and they’ll just think im lying and selling them and meanwhile im losing my mind unable to think without them and my TWO mood stabilizers/antidepressants arent doing jack shit, i keep breaking down crying from stress and i barely have anything going on compared to most people like most people are like ‘yeah i worked while in school to make ends meet’ and im pathetic over here like ‘i lived at home unemployed due to the grace of my mom for half of my degree cause i cant fucking be independent apparently to save my life, even though my entire childhood i made ‘being independent’ a huge part of my identity

Oh and I need to figure out my student loans cause this term is going to cost 8500 cause fuck the american educational system