#like imagine meeting your soulmate online through a very little known (at the time) internet website

[phlesbian]

maybe its my daily stress levels but i'm about to cry thinking about 2009 phan

[stretchjournalemerson]

Ariana and Pete: The Source of Obsession

By Max Murphy 

“Unlike normal celebrity relationships, a national obsession developed over them, with the internet blowing up at every little move by the couple. But why?”

Note: I have left this essay in its original form (completed on October 30, 2018) due to the topical nature of its call to write.

The perfect couples’ costume is no more. This Wednesday, trick-or-treaters may come across various Ariana Grandes and Pete Davidsons, but, alas, the two will never be seen together. For anyone lost following these opening sentences, I am referring to singer Grande and comedian Davidson’s recent split, calling off their planned engagement. However, I doubt that anyone can be too lost. Since May of this year, articles about the two’s relationship have been dominating news and pop culture outlets. Originally covered by celebrity gossip-centered websites such as TMZ and E! News, the interest quickly spread to more mainstream news sources, with the recent breakup making its way to CNN. But “interest” is an understatement. Unlike normal celebrity relationships, a national obsession developed over them, with the internet blowing up at every little move by the couple.

But why?

In an article on Refinery29, a media and entertainment outlet, Kathryn Lindsay attempted to answer that question. In her piece entitled “Why We'll Never Stop Caring About Pete Davidson & Ariana Grande,” one can find her answer about halfway through: “Their story is cute. Their story says there is a right person out there for you and that you know it right when you meet them.” Not only is this a troubling answer, but it only scratches the surface. Why is that a message people want to hear in the first place? 

This stems from the belief in “the one.” When looking for romantic partners, many believe that their soulmate is somewhere in the world, waiting to be found. This can be traced to our desire for a basic human attribute: empathy. Empathy is the ability to share and feel the emotions of others. I can picture my fifth-grade teacher making very clear the difference between this and sympathy. While sympathy involves feeling your own negative emotions for what a person is going through, empathy is feeling their emotions. To feel someone else’s emotions suggests a sense of connection to that person, and that is the basis for the concept of soulmates. And while people feel empathy for each other all the time, there is a belief that there is only one true soulmate because of how deep a connection people are looking for. In an ideal world of soulmates, each pair has a mutual understanding so strong that the two are almost one with each other. It is therefore easy to understand why people think one will know who their soulmate is right away. Often two people can tell when they “click,” and this is the highest form of that.

While this all sounds theoretically wonderful, in reality, it is harmful to those looking for their soulmate. For many, “soulmate” simply means “perfect partner.” The problem is that no one is perfect for one another. According to Gary Lewandowski, a professor of psychology at Monmouth University, those in a relationship who believe in soulmates are more likely to break up. Because of the notion that soulmates are one’s perfect match, any imperfections can cause people to doubt the entire relationship. On the other hand, those who do not believe in soulmates have a healthier way of thinking; if a relationship is not perfect, then its success comes from whether or not the partners can improve upon it. This prevents one from constantly waiting for the perfect partner to come along. These two schools of thought are similar to the concept of fate versus free will. Those who believe in soulmates believe that the universe has already picked who their perfect match is, and they will either find them or they won’t, whereas the others believe that when any two people find each other, it is up to them to make the relationship work. While those in the former camp are often seen as romantics, the very nature of their ideology discourages healthy romance.

But one cannot blame this harmful way of thinking entirely on the individual—American celebrity culture feeds on this attitude. Throughout the course of their relationship, discussions surrounding Grande and Davidson had been almost entirely positive. With each new update online came copious comments about how perfect they were for each other. When Davidson went on Jimmy Fallon following his engagement, the crowd roared with excitement at the mention of it. And while there was certainly room for positivity, people also praised the more questionable parts of Davidson and Grande’s relationship. Their permanent tattoos for each other were seen as “couple goals” rather than brash decisions that could potentially backfire down the line. Fans saw their decision to marry after one month of dating as an amazing decision rather than… well… a not-so-amazing decision. The internet celebrated each move because the two must have been soulmates. This is due to the nature of our culture and how we tend to romanticize celebrities and their lives.

The romanticism exists because people like to look at the top and see perfection, no matter how little is known or how many imperfections are in view. In general, humans are naturally envious, and celebrities represent everything we want but don’t have. We put ourselves in their shoes, imagining possessing their fame and money. But when we dream about things we want, we tend to ignore any negative aspects. Instead, we focus on everything that’s good and form it into a perfect ideal. We want celebrities to be perfect, because in our minds those are our future lives—and of course we would want our own future lives to be perfect. So to Lindsay’s claim that Grande and Davidson’s story told us that the right person is there for us and we will know it right away: of course it did; that is what we wanted it to tell us, so we ignored everything that might say otherwise. We were in love with this story because we took away an unrealistic message about an unrealistic concept. And sure enough, reality finally came crashing down: the perfect couple broke up.

But this is not the end of love as we know it. I certainly believe in love, I just think we have to work a little harder to get it. I do not think that just because you hit it off with someone really well after meeting them, you are destined to be together; but I also do not think that a shaky relationship can’t blossom into a fruitful one. And I certainly don’t think that there is only one person on the entire earth who you can truly be happy with. As for celebrity culture, I do not plan on shutting it out entirely. I think that when followed sparingly, it provides a valuable break from the scary world we live in. But a break is all it should be. One should always remember to come back to reality—because celebrity culture is anything but. 

Works Cited

Lindsay, Kathryn. “Why We'll Never Stop Caring About Pete Davidson & Ariana Grande.” Refinery29, 2 Oct. 2018.www.refinery29.com/en-us/2018/10/212925/pete-davidson-ariana-grande-never-stop-caring.

O'Brien, Kathleen. “Here's How Many Americans Believe in 'Soulmates'.” NJ.com, NJ.com, 13 Feb. 2017, www.nj.com/healthfit/index.ssf/2017/02/two-thirds_of_americans_believe_in_a_soulmate_poll.html.

Acknowledgements

Thank you to Ta-Nehisi Coates for having an approach well-worth taking and writing such amazing essays like “I’m Not Black, I’m Kanye,” “Why I'm Writing Captain America,” and “Civil-Rights Protests Have Never Been Popular.” Thank you to our entire Intro to College Writing class for directing my essay in the right direction, Mary for being at the forefront of that conversation, and Garrett for taking it all down and making it comprehensible.

[sj2themoon]

Year One of Marriage

Yes! This week is my one year wedding anniversary with my beloved Kent. During the time of my wedding, I didn’t really prioritize posting wedding pictures (for obvious reasons, I mean I was very busy enjoying newlywed life!;) I would like to take the time now to reminisce on my favorite day yet, my wedding day! I will be showing some of our favorite pics taken by my wonderful Mother in Law/amazing photographer, and sharing memories from that day!

The Proposal

Whoops! I must first backtrack and tell you about Kent’s proposal to me because that is an important part! The majority of our dating was done long distance. I would visit him in Idaho, he would visit me in Arizona, Etc. Oh, and a ton of face timing each other!!! We got to the point where we could not be separated anymore, so we planned Kent’s big move to Arizona. That Christmas, before he moved to Arizona, we decided to meet up with his family in Georgia to spend Christmas together with them. Leaving Georgia after Christmas, taking this flight to Arizona together would be the mark of him officially moving there to be closer to me. He shipped all of his belongings to Arizona already (one box haha), and it would be there when we got home. Ok so here we are on this airplane, flying “home” together. So much excitement was in the air, just knowing we wouldn’t have to be apart anymore from that point on. It was also a special flight for us because we acknowledged it would be our first flight of many that we would take together (seeing how we both love traveling).

Kent had surprised me and upgraded our tickets to first class! Heyyyy! Next, I was surprised as the flight attendant asked both Kent and I to go to the front of the Aircraft during our flight. I was very confused. Then right there, in front of the entire plane, my Kent got down on one knee and asked me to marry him!! I said yes, of course, and everyone began to clap! Just in case anyone didn’t understand what was going on, the pilot then got on the intercom and announced it to the whole airplane!!! “Congratulations to Mr. Craig and the future Mrs. Craig for their engagement!” Kent then explained to me that his reason for proposing to me on an airplane was this, he said, “It doesn’t matter where we are, as long as we are together. Home is wherever you are”. I melted, of course<3

The Ring

Kent wanted my wedding ring to be a complete surprise, but he also wanted to make sure it was something I would love and cherish forever, something that was symbolic and full of meaning. For the longest time, when we would facetime while dating long distance, I began to notice he was always eating cereal with no milk for breakfast, and plain rice for dinner!! Every single time I would ask, “Why are you eating it that way?!” He would just smile and say “I’m saving money”. Later on, I found out he was being frugal to save money for my ring!! He is the sweetest. I promised him he would never have to do that again!! Haha So, back to the ring. I sent him several picture examples of my unconventional taste in wedding rings, which apparently made it harder because there was not one thing consistent about any of the pictures I sent him! Despite that, he went on to design from scratch, the most perfect ring for me.

The black diamond implies that no matter how hard or dark of times we may have in our lives, we will always find the light, just like a black diamond can still reflect light. There are three symbols engraved on the sides of the band. First, starting at the bottom, there is a waxing moon. We consider this “our moon”. A waxing moon symbolizes growth, progression, and new beginnings. Also representing our phrase that we always say to one another, “I love you to the moon and back”, hence the name “sj2themoon”. Along with the waxing moon, there are tiny little stars next to it. These stars are our zodiac stars, overlapped and intertwined.

Next up, getting closer to the diamond, the second symbol is a triangle. The triangle is a representation of me at one bottom corner, Kent at the other bottom corner, and the third and top point represents God. Reminding us that a putting God in all things helps you have a strong foundation and marriage.

The third and highest up is a symbol of Heaven, reminding us to keep an eternal perspective of our ultimate goal- to live life to the fullest and be the best we can so that we will always be together forever.

Kent designed the most perfect ring for me in every way.

The Wedding Gown

I had this concept in my head of a bohemian goddess wedding dress that I wanted! But ugh, I couldn’t seem to find it anywhere!!! I was constantly searching in every store nearby, and online! Nothin! I wanted it to be unique, sleek yet vintage. I finally came across a blogger with the exact dress I wanted, but there was nothing written about where she got it!! My sweet husband began the search for me, he is great at this sort of thing. He was searching all over the internet and asking around online for anyone who has seen this dress. Finally, he reached out to the blogger and got the name of the woman who made the dress for her! Then, we creeper stalked her and got the dress makers email! Kent emailed her a picture of the dress and basically said, I am begging you to make a wedding dress for my wife like the one you made for this blogger. The woman said she could not, the material was no longer in stock. My husband pleaded some more. He then asked if he found the right material and sent it to her, would she then make it for me?!? She said no. Hahahaha such a struggle. I was so sad about that…it was getting to be crunch time and NO dress to be found! I then turned to what I thought was my very last option. Little did I know that this would end up being the best option ever!!! I reached out to my sister’s friend who used to help sew dresses for the princesses at Disneyland. Couldn’t hurt, right? I told her my dilemma and she agreed to make my dress for me! Halle-freakin-lujah!! She was a little nervous about it I think, so was I, but it was a start! After all, it is a lot of pressure to make someone’s wedding dress, I imagine! Especially when she knows it is an emergency!! I began searching now for the perfect material and dress pattern for her to follow. Again, couldn’t find the material anywhere!! Until finally, after checking dozens of shops, we tried a Jo-Ann’s Fabric store that we hadn’t yet tried. It was very far from home. And there it was, the perfect fabric!! Thank you fabric gods!! After that, I combined two different dress patterns into one to create exactly what I wanted. Luckily, she NAILED IT!!! Well… sewed it A miracle at this point with only one month left util wedding time! And know what’s even better? She only charged me $100! Best price ever known to wedding dress shoppers!!! It was made with cream colored stretchy crochet lace type fabric, slightly see-through with a second cream/tan layer put underneath. It had a trumpet skirt, form fitted torso, long sleeves, boat neck, and a low scoop back with cowling. I wore a bohemian head chain and body chain necklace that I made myself (also because I couldn’t find what I wanted anywhere). The bouquet was made with all fake flowers that I put together in the way I imagined! Oh! I also wore a white, hooded wedding poncho to keep me warm when it got cold that evening. It all came together perfectly.

Wedding Planning

Not much to it. We actually considered eloping at one point! Later, we decided instead to just keep our wedding as simple as possible, to make sure we could enjoy every second of it without unneeded stress. What is really interesting though, is that every since forever, I have wanted to get married in the Logan Utah Temple. I saw a picture of it and I just knew from that moment on! It was the place. The only problem is, I knew it seemed very random (as I have no family there) so it might not be the most probable place to have it! Flash forward, Kent and I were in the early stages of being engaged, and I hadn’t yet told him of my dream to be married in Logan, Utah. As we began to plan things out, I asked him, “Is there anywhere in particular that you have always wanted to get married at?” You won’t believe his answer!! “Logan Utah Temple”, he said. I think I fell even more in love with him in that moment!;) I mean, you have to realize how ironic this is!! He is from Georgia, I am from Arizona and we both happened to want to get married in Logan, Utah. Can you say MEANT TO BE?!

So that is just what we did.

The Big Day

I stayed in a hotel with my friend Taylor the night before my wedding. I laid there and imagined what the next day would hold. The morning of my wedding, I put my hair extensions in, did my own makeup, and I was ready to go! I can honestly say that I never once had cold feet or felt nervous about marrying Kent. Which reminds me of the most hilarious thing! I asked Kent if he was worried about getting cold feet, and to that he said, “I don’t have feet.” Bahaha!! Made me laugh so hard! Get it? If you don’t have feet, you can’t get cold feet! He has this clever way of always making me feel comforted This was absolutely the rightest (made up word) decision I had ever made in my life. The day was magical. One of the best feeling in the world knowing you truly found your soulmate and you get to spend eternity together.

Of course at least one thing had to go wrong during the big day though, right? You could say we were in a rush that morning, trying to get there in time! Without realizing it, Taylor locked my keys in the car! So here we are, just came out of our wedding in the temple and getting ready to drive to our reception in the park (where people are going to be showing up in 30 minutes!!!) Of course Taylor felt awful, but I knew we would figure something out! Everyone was trying to help us break into my car. Hahaha! We didn’t have time for a locksmith to come, so naturally, Kent broke the handle off my door and we got in from there! Great memories We felt so much love and support that day, it was a special feeling to be there with my family/friends and my Eternal love.

(My pouty face as Kent brakes into the car)

We had a small gathering in the park after the actual wedding. It was very simple, yet very us! Everyone was to show up in casual clothes and preferably barefoot! We hung up tapestries, pictures, and dream catchers, laid out rugs and pillows around the fire, a table of s’mores ingredients to cook on the fire, had hot chocolate, and enjoyed ourselves some music and dancing. It was a perfect day.

*All pics from the reception in the park are raw and unedited.

From there, Kent and I immediately got taken to the airport to head out for our Honeymoon! We went on a two week cruise to the Eastern Caribbean and then stayed a while in Puerto Rico! It was a dream come true.

Thanks for reminiscing with me about this special time in my life, one year ago!

*Happy anniversary my love, and many more to come.

“It will be a long time, but it will be a good time”.

I love you to the moon and back.

  Stay Wild, Moon Child

#becomingbohemian

The post Year 1- Wedding Anniversary Tribute appeared first on sj2themoon.

[sj2themoon]

Year One of Marriage

Yes! This week is my one year wedding anniversary with my beloved Kent. During the time of my wedding, I didn’t really prioritize posting wedding pictures (for obvious reasons, I mean I was very busy enjoying newlywed life!;) I would like to take the time now to reminisce on my favorite day yet, my wedding day! I will be showing some of our favorite pics taken by my wonderful Mother in Law/amazing photographer, and sharing memories from that day!

The Proposal

Whoops! I must first backtrack and tell you about Kent’s proposal to me because that is an important part! The majority of our dating was done long distance. I would visit him in Idaho, he would visit me in Arizona, Etc. Oh, and a ton of face timing each other!!! We got to the point where we could not be separated anymore, so we planned Kent’s big move to Arizona. That Christmas, before he moved to Arizona, we decided to meet up with his family in Georgia to spend Christmas together with them. Leaving Georgia after Christmas, taking this flight to Arizona together would be the mark of him officially moving there to be closer to me. He shipped all of his belongings to Arizona already (one box haha), and it would be there when we got home. Ok so here we are on this airplane, flying “home” together. So much excitement was in the air, just knowing we wouldn’t have to be apart anymore from that point on. It was also a special flight for us because we acknowledged it would be our first flight of many that we would take together (seeing how we both love traveling).

Kent had surprised me and upgraded our tickets to first class! Heyyyy! Next, I was surprised as the flight attendant asked both Kent and I to go to the front of the Aircraft during our flight. I was very confused. Then right there, in front of the entire plane, my Kent got down on one knee and asked me to marry him!! I said yes, of course, and everyone began to clap! Just in case anyone didn’t understand what was going on, the pilot then got on the intercom and announced it to the whole airplane!!! “Congratulations to Mr. Craig and the future Mrs. Craig for their engagement!” Kent then explained to me that his reason for proposing to me on an airplane was this, he said, “It doesn’t matter where we are, as long as we are together. Home is wherever you are”. I melted, of course<3

The Ring

Kent wanted my wedding ring to be a complete surprise, but he also wanted to make sure it was something I would love and cherish forever, something that was symbolic and full of meaning. For the longest time, when we would facetime while dating long distance, I began to notice he was always eating cereal with no milk for breakfast, and plain rice for dinner!! Every single time I would ask, “Why are you eating it that way?!” He would just smile and say “I’m saving money”. Later on, I found out he was being frugal to save money for my ring!! He is the sweetest. I promised him he would never have to do that again!! Haha So, back to the ring. I sent him several picture examples of my unconventional taste in wedding rings, which apparently made it harder because there was not one thing consistent about any of the pictures I sent him! Despite that, he went on to design from scratch, the most perfect ring for me.

The black diamond implies that no matter how hard or dark of times we may have in our lives, we will always find the light, just like a black diamond can still reflect light. There are three symbols engraved on the sides of the band. First, starting at the bottom, there is a waxing moon. We consider this “our moon”. A waxing moon symbolizes growth, progression, and new beginnings. Also representing our phrase that we always say to one another, “I love you to the moon and back”, hence the name “sj2themoon”. Along with the waxing moon, there are tiny little stars next to it. These stars are our zodiac stars, overlapped and intertwined

There are three symbols engraved on the sides of the band. First, starting at the bottom, there is a waxing moon. We consider this “our moon”. A waxing moon symbolizes growth, progression, and new beginnings. Also representing our phrase that we always say to one another, “I love you to the moon and back”, hence the name “sj2themoon”. Along with the waxing moon, there are tiny little stars next to it. These stars are our zodiac stars, overlapped and intertwined with each other.

Next up, getting closer the diamond, the second symbol is a triangle. The triangle is a representation of me at one bottom corner, Kent at the other bottom corner, and the third and top point represents God. Reminding us that a putting God in all things helps you have a strong foundation and marriage.

The third and highest up is a symbol of Heaven, reminding us to keep an eternal perspective of our ultimate goal- to live life to the fullest and be the best we can so that we will always be together forever.

Kent designed the most perfect ring for me in every way.

The Wedding Gown

I had this concept in my head of a bohemian goddess wedding dress that I wanted! But ugh, I couldn’t seem to find it anywhere!!! I was constantly searching in every store nearby, and online! Nothin! I wanted it to be unique, sleek yet vintage. I finally came across a blogger with the exact dress I wanted, but there was nothing written about where she got it!! My sweet husband began the search for me, he is great at this sort of thing. He was searching all over the internet and asking around online for anyone who has seen this dress. Finally, he reached out to the blogger and got the name of the woman who made the dress for her! Then, we creeper stalked her and got the dress makers email! Kent emailed her a picture of the dress and basically said, I am begging you to make a wedding dress for my wife like the one you made for this blogger. The woman said she could not, the material was no longer in stock. My husband pleaded some more. He then asked if he found the right material and sent it to her, would she then make it for me?!? She said no. Hahahaha such a struggle. I was so sad about that…it was getting to be crunch time and NO dress to be found! I then turned to what I thought was my very last option. Little did I know that this would end up being the best option ever!!! I reached out to my sister’s friend who used to help sew dresses for the princesses at Disneyland. Couldn’t hurt, right? I told her my dilemma and she agreed to make my dress for me! Halle-freakin-lujah!! She was a little nervous about it I think, so was I, but it was a start! After all, it is a lot of pressure to make someone’s wedding dress, I imagine! Especially when she knows it is an emergency!! I began searching now for the perfect material and dress pattern for her to follow. Again, couldn’t find the material anywhere!! Until finally, after checking dozens of shops, we tried a Jo-Ann’s Fabric store that we hadn’t yet tried. It was very far from home. And there it was, the perfect fabric!! Thank you fabric gods!! After that, I combined two different dress patterns into one to create exactly what I wanted. Luckily, she NAILED IT!!! Well… sewed it A miracle at this point with only one month left util wedding time! And know what’s even better? She only charged me $100! Best price ever known to wedding dress shoppers!!! It was made with cream colored stretchy crochet lace type fabric, slightly see-through with a second cream/tan layer put underneath. It had a trumpet skirt, form fitted torso, long sleeves, boat neck, and a low scoop back with cowling. I wore a bohemian head chain and body chain necklace that I made myself (also because I couldn’t find what I wanted anywhere). The bouquet was made with all fake flowers that I put together in the way I imagined! Oh! I also wore a white, hooded wedding poncho to keep me warm when it got cold that evening. It all came together perfectly.

Wedding Planning

Not much to it. We actually considered eloping at one point! Later, we decided instead to just keep our wedding as simple as possible, to make sure we could enjoy every second of it without unneeded stress. What is really interesting though, is that every since forever, I have wanted to get married in the Logan Utah Temple. I saw a picture of it and I just knew from that moment on! It was the place. The only problem is, I knew it seemed very random (as I have no family there) so it might not be the most probable place to have it! Flash forward, Kent and I were in the early stages of being engaged, and I hadn’t yet told him of my dream to be married in Logan, Utah. As we began to plan things out, I asked him, “Is there anywhere in particular that you have always wanted to get married at?” You won’t believe his answer!! “Logan Utah Temple”, he said. I think I fell even more in love with him in that moment!;) I mean, you have to realize how ironic this is!! He is from Georgia, I am from Arizona and we both happened to want to get married in Logan, Utah. Can you say MEANT TO BE?!

So that is just what we did.

The Big Day

I stayed in a hotel with my friend Taylor the night before my wedding. I laid there and imagined what the next day would hold. The morning of my wedding, I put my hair extensions in, did my own makeup, and I was ready to go! I can honestly say that I never once had cold feet or felt nervous about marrying Kent. Which reminds me of the most hilarious thing! I asked Kent if he was worried about getting cold feet, and to that he said, “I don’t have feet.” Bahaha!! Made me laugh so hard! Get it? If you don’t have feet, you can’t get cold feet! He has this clever way of always making me feel comforted This was absolutely the rightest (made up word) decision I had ever made in my life. The day was magical. One of the best feeling in the world knowing you truly found your soulmate and you get to spend eternity together.

Of course at least one thing had to go wrong during the big day though, right? You could say we were in a rush that morning, trying to get there in time! Without realizing it, Taylor locked my keys in the car! So here we are, just came out of our wedding in the temple and getting ready to drive to our reception in the park (where people are going to be showing up in 30 minutes!!!) Of course Taylor felt awful, but I knew we would figure something out! Everyone was trying to help us break into my car. Hahaha! We didn’t have time for a locksmith to come, so naturally, Kent broke the handle off my door and we got in from there! Great memories We felt so much love and support that day, it was a special feeling to be there with my family/friends and my Eternal love.

(My pouty face as Kent brakes into the car)

We had a small gathering in the park after the actual wedding. It was very simple, yet very us! Everyone was to show up in casual clothes and preferably barefoot! We hung up tapestries, pictures, and dream catchers, laid out rugs and pillows around the fire, a table of s’mores ingredients to cook on the fire, had hot chocolate, and enjoyed ourselves some music and dancing. It was a perfect day.

*All pics from the reception in the park are raw and unedited.

From there, Kent and I immediately got taken to the airport to head out for our Honeymoon! We went on a two week cruise to the Eastern Caribbean and then stayed a while in Puerto Rico! It was a dream come true.

Thanks for reminiscing with me about this special time in my life, one year ago!

*Happy anniversary my love, and many more to come.

“It will be a long time, but it will be a good time”.

I love you to the moon and back.

  Stay Wild, Moon Child

#becomingbohemian

The post Year 1- Wedding Anniversary Tribute appeared first on sj2themoon.