#like is that it???? what about retsi and Haidas relationship are we not gonna say anything other than some ambiguous aliens at

[mazojo]

I’ve never felt more underwhelmed than while watching the last episode of Aggretsuko season 5

[kingdomofkitten]

The Wedding: Part 8: The Event

There he stood. Petrified. It wasn’t like this was not warranted. Marriage itself is a very stressful thing. All the time, effort, funds, everything is on the line for this one day. If one piece is off, it all comes crashing down. Everything has been building up to this. Will she say “I don’t”? Will she run out? Will HE run out? He can never tell.

“You aight, hombre?” He heard a voice call out, a familiar voice from a fennec fox. Fenneko, standing as a minister. The fact Haida had to bear witness to such a thing is nightmare inducing. “Um, yeah. Just...kinda nervous, I guess.” “Ah, I don’t blame ya. It’s a nerve-wracking day.” She replied. “But I wouldn’t worry about it, dude. You’ve known her long enough to know she would never stand you up.” He looked around, in contemplation, before responding. “...yeah, I guess you’re right.” Suddenly, everyone looked towards the end of the aisle, and stood up. “Here she comes, look alive.” The small minister told the hyena, as their sights turned towards...her. Retsuko. She began slowly making her way down, in a dress that helps make her shine even more than her natural beauty already emitted. Her head is tilted down, but even still, he could see a smile coming from her, with such a warmth to it. With his ears, he could hear the organs playing Here Comes the Bride. But in his mind, he was hearing all sorts of music playing at just the mere sight of her. Kiss From a Rose, Can’t Help Falling in Love, I’ll Make Love to You, Your Smiling Face, 214, I Don’t Mind, all the sappiest love songs he could think of, just playing all at once. He was in a state of shock, and euphoria. He was in love.

Haida took her hand, as she stood in front of him, with a wonderful combination of glowing eyes, and a bright smile. “Hi, sweetheart.” Said Retsuko, in the sweetest, most loving voice he ever heard. “Hi, Retsy...you look wonderful.” His words were only responded to by a bashful laugh, and a blush on her precious face. “Oh, stop, you look way better than me!” She exclaimed, causing Haida’s face to turn similarly red. “AHEM! Shall we get started?” Said Fenneko, casually looking at the engaged couple. Retsuko could only look in shock, at her dear friend as the one to wed them...but they both nodded.

And then, the fennec spoke.

“Dearly beloved! We are gathered here on this most joyous of occasions, to celebrate the union of Retsuko….um...yes, and Haida…...ya know, I never bothered to actually ask what the hell your last names were. Bah, who cares. Ya know, for all these years knowing these two, I knew, deep down, two very important things. One, they wouldn’t be anything without me.” That got a massive amount of laughter from the audience. “I mean, I ain’t joking, but alright. But two...that no matter what obstacles stood in their way, other people, life events, themselves...they were tailored made for each other. I ain’t a strong believer in destiny, to me, it’s just a cheap way to justify even the most mundane things in life. But if someone told me it was destined that they would be together as they have been...not gonna lie, I’d buy it. There is something deep within them that, I think, pulls them through. Maybe it’s their own hearts...maybe it’s their kid, I dunno. But somehow, someway, they managed to persevere throughout many of the hard times. Of course, those are not over yet. They probably still have quite a bit to go through. But hopefully, with a love like theirs, we probably won’t have to worry in the slightest about that. As long as that love stays strong, things will turn out just fine. But hell, you guys are probably getting sick and tired by me rambling on about them, let’s hear what they have to say! You two like to get your vows out of the way?”

Retsuko cleared her throat a little. “I-I’ll start, if that’s okay with you,” she said to her groom. “Of course! Go right on ahead.” The reassuring tone from Haida comforted her considerably, as she began her vow. “Haida, I remember it was just a couple of years ago, I didn’t really know you too much, and I wanted to get married, and have kids, so I didn’t have to work another day in my life...well, two out of three ain’t bad.” She joked, resulting in more laughter from everyone. “Jump ahead a few years, and now I am still working at my job, yes, but I am also a mother to an absolutely wonderful baby boy, and will very soon become the wife of the most amazing man I’ve ever met in my life. Ever since I’ve really gotten to know you, it feels like every day has something new about it, it’s like a brand new adventure every single time. The fact that you and Ikari are always by my side during it all really does mean a lot to me. I say this with no stretch whatsoever, you really changed my life in all the best of ways, Haida, and I cannot thank you enough for that. I vow to be a loving, and faithful wife, to be by your side whenever you need me, and to help make sure our son has a bright future ahead. I love you so much, I can’t wait to become your wife, and...sorry it took so long for us to even start a relationship in the first place.” The vow ended with her laughing very bashfully.

“...my turn?,” asked Haida, which solicited a “yes, dum-dum” from Fenneko. “Oh! Alright...well, firstly, don’t feel too bad, took me forever to get you a ring, so I think that makes us even,” he said with a smirk, causing Retsuko to laugh. “Secondly...I didn’t really think about it until a few days ago, but under most circumstances, this probably wouldn’t ever happen. I wasn’t exactly the most...stable dude. My crush on you all those years ago kinda put me in a few rough spots, I won’t lie. In most cases, I probably would’ve found, if we were ever a thing, that we didn’t work out in the slightest, and that I wasted so much time. But that didn’t happen. The moment you and I began going out, I felt...better about myself. More selfless, cheerier, more energetic, more focused. I can’t recall the last time I went into work with my chest clenching up, or my brain going all over the place! You managed to take a broken wreck like me, and fix me until I was a new man. I often wish I could repay you in any possible way, and kick myself for not being good enough...but you never seem to mind, and you don’t know how grateful I am for that. Taking care of Ikari with you has been one of the greatest honors I’ve ever had put upon me, and will probably continue to be that way for a long time. I cannot promise I will be the best husband in the world. I’m hardly the best boyfriend. But if it means I get to start every day with your incredible smile, and our pride and joy bringing us all the happiness in the world, I’m willing to do the best I possibly can. I vow to be a caring, and loving husband, to never turn my back on you, and to be there whenever you need me. I love you with all my heart, Retsuko, and I cannot wait for what awaits us.”

By the time both were done, their eyes were wet with tears, as both look at each other with the biggest smiles possible. “...guys, c’mon. You’re at an event, no need to get emotional,” said Fenneko, causing the two to laugh out out, before continuing. “Well, in any case, let’s get those rings on ya!” As they put the rings on their fingers (courtesy of the ring-bearer...Ikari), it really does start to sink in...this is happening. They are actually going to get married. And now...the moment everyone knew was coming. “Do you, Retsuko, take this lumbering oaf, I mean, Haida, to be your lawfully wedded husband, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” “....I do,” said Retsuko, with a small sense of joy upon saying those words. “And do you, Haida, take this death metal singing freak, I mean, Retsuko, to be your lawfully wedded wife, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, until death do you part? ….and even then, knowing you, you would desperately try not to part with her upon death?,” Fenneko joked. “I do,” said Haida, rather warmly.

“Well, then, by the power invested in me, and put upon my two closest friends, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride….kiss her, ya idiot.”

Haida very gently lifted Retsuko’s veil before being jumped by the red panda, who proceeded to give him the biggest kiss she could possibly give. He wrapped his arms, and returned the smooch, all while a roaring applause calls out to them. Not that it mattered to them. As far as they were concerned, they were together, in their own little world of love. As soon as the kiss broke, they could only stare into each others’ eyes, tears streaming down, and just laugh. “We did it!,” exclaimed Retsuko, repeating that phrase until Haida began joining her, nuzzling his face up to hers. He picked her up bridal style, and began walking up the aisle, outside the doors, to a bunch of cherry blossom trees. “Ah...it’s really beautiful out here, huh?,” asked Retsuko. “It sure is...but it doesn’t hold a candle to yo-“ “Retsuko! Haida! Wait!” The two turn, and see Tsunoda and Fenneko run up to them. “W-what’s wrong?,” asked Haida. “Well, firstly, ya gotta throw the bouquet, Retsy. That’s kind of a thing in weddings.” “Oh, okay!” Retsuko responded to Fenneko’s request by simply dropping the bouquet into the fennec fox’s arms. “There! Now you and Tsunoda can get married!” Tsunoda laughed at the gesture, while Fenneko just looked at them, unamused. “...ha. Funny. Secondly, we kinda forgot to get a wedding photo of you guys, so we need to do that quickly. We figured you guys would want Ikari, but since he refuses to let go of the ring pillow, I’m gonna have to ask that you guys take off your rings, and put them on the pillow when we get it set up, so it doesn’t look like he’s just grabbing a pillow for no reason.” “Oh. Sure!,” said Haida.

The four quickly look around, before finding a view of the lake, with cherry blossoms blowing around, a bunch of petals already on the floor. “Perfect!,” Tsunoda exclaimed, running over, and picking up Ikari, to put him in front of his parents, clinging tight to the pillow. The couple quickly handed the rings to Fenneko, who put them nicely onto the pillow, while the child began crying, possibly from being overwhelmed. “Ah, great. Um...pacifier? Anything?” “Oh, there’s one in my pocket!,” Haida revealed, grabbing one out, and handing it to Fenneko. She quickly plants it into the child’s mouth, subduing him enough to get the photo. “We only got one shot, so let’s make it count,” the fennec fox said, as she stood back enough, phone camera at ready. “You guys good to go?” The hyena and red panda looked at each other, love brightening up their faces tenfold. Suddenly, Retsuko draws her cheek up to Haida’s. “Ready, Fenneko!”

It was here, when Haida finally let it sit in. Retsuko was his wife now. The mere notion of that would’ve sounded like some distant dream not too long ago. He often wondered what that day would look like, and here it was.

Was he sure this wasn’t a dream? Surely an angel like Retsuko would never settle for a lowlife like Haida, right? That only seems reasonable.

But no. It was very much real.

It was real...

“Smile!”

*click*

...and it was perfect.

So, I mentioned how stressful the whole final chapter would be, given I want to get it done before Season 2 premieres...then I magically wake up at 4 in the morning, and decide to write it out. Funny how that works, huh? Well, anyways, there is an epilogue left, but otherwise, this IS the last part of this story. I want to thank all of you for being so patient with me, a lot of stuff has happened since the beginning of writing this, to today. A lot of work, a lot of laziness, a lot of illness and most surprisingly, a lot of stress. Yeah, while writing this wasn’t very stressful, events going on, either in my life, or in my social circles, kinda left me in various stages of stress. But, I think a large chunk of that is gonna die down now. Hopefully, anyway.

A GINORMOUS shout-out to @skeletonguys-and-ragdolls for the wonderful picture you see. Diana, thank you so, so, SO much for helping to make this thing that much more special to me, and for being as patient as you were during this whole thing. I want to apologize again for taking so damn long.

So! Where to now? Answer....well, firstly, get the epilogue done. That’s kinda the main thing. But also! Considering Season 2 is coming out (and yes, I did catch a bit of the trailer on Netflix...I like to think it helped increase my stress a little bit. :P), that raises the question....will the Ikariverse also include Season 2?????

Fuck no, I already had to kinda retcon things to get the Christmas special in there, you think I’m gonna sneak in a whole season? Get outta here.

BUT! Chances are ELEMENTS of Season 2 will be in there. I know Retsuko’s mom in the series will probably not appear, because....well, I already wrote in Rie, and I’m too lazy to change that. But other characters may still very much appear. We’ll just have to see. Until that comes, I probably will just write shorter, sillier adventures. I still need to write Gori and Washimi meeting Ikari, I think....actually, come to think of it, there’s a lot of stuff I need to write. Should probably get on that. :/

Until then, guys, have yourselves a wonderful day!

[kingdomofkitten]

Ikariverse: Ikari’s Day Out (SPECIAL SURPRISE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WRITER STORY!)

Sooooo, um...you guys remember that ask I got, about a story told from the perspective of Ikari? Well, a couple of days ago, a near and dear friend of mine, @tonythegrey (who you should totally follow, he does great art) asked me if I was actually working on writing that. I told him no, as I have a few projects I’m trying to work on. A few days later, he sends me a document with this. I asked if he was planning on posting it, but he’d rather I do it, so that, and I quote, “your hungry fans will have something to read.” Is it canon with the Ikariverse? ......I honestly don’t know, but I thought it was pretty cute, and funny, so....that probably doesn’t mean anything, but still. Here’s Tony’s story, Ikari’s Day Out!

*It is early in the morning and we see little Ikari playing on his Mr. Spell while his two parents are frantically getting ready for work. What exactly is he typing into the keyboard toy, though?*

Ikari: *typing into his toy* Ikari’s Log; Stardate, August 10th. Mama made me a plate of toaster waffles. Quite odd, considering how I am only two years old, and my teeth haven’t fully developed yet. She and Dada are zooming across the house. I believe the reasoning behind my rushed breakfast was a result of poor timing as they are talking about being late for work. I assume that they are late. Perhaps listening in on their conversation will confirm my suspicions. *he perks his ears up to listen on them*

Retsuko: *patting herself* Do I have everything I need?! *patting Haida all over* Do you have everything?!

Haida: Gah! I’m ready! We just need a babysitter for Ikari!

Retsuko: Who are we gonna hire at such a short notice?! We need to get their now! 

Haida: Ah, you know I don’t like bringing him to our job! I feel like it has weird side effects on him!

Ikari: …*starts typing again* I really wish I could understand adult language better. As of right now, it all sounds like a blur with only a handful of words that I comprehend. Such is the curse of being so young. How I urge to have actual conversations with my beloved Mama and Dada. 

Retsuko: *coming up to him* Uh, Ikari, dear? We’re gonna have to take you to our work again! You know the rules, right?

Ikari: Babababah! :D 

*Later that same day, Retsuko and Haida are in the elevator to their work area*

Ikari: *typing* These slow elevator rides to Mama and Dada’s work tend to always be the most anxious part when I come along with them. Just a long melancholy journey to whatever chaos could be awaiting my parents and I. Will today be just a boring day like many others have been, or will something new and exciting occur? If the latter, will it be something good for my Mama and Dada? They appear to not like it here much, yet they arrive everyday. It’s typically where they interact most with Aunt Fenneko. Why do they put themselves through such torment? Do they take secret enjoyment from this ordeal? Is it all for my benefit? Or theirs? Is this the essence of existence itself? Am I too destined to be unhappy and spend most of my time in an area of which I do not enjoy being around? Is this all of our destinies? Are we here just to suffer? Are w- *suddenly the elevator stops, and the three are immediately greeted by Kabae!*

Kabae: HEY RETSUKO AND HAIDA! Aww! You brought little Ikari with you! *pinches his cheeks* Aw, he’s so cute that I could just eat him up!

Ikari: Hahahahahaha! :D 

Retsuko: Kabae. Don’t touch my baby’s cheeks. 

Kabae: Oop! Sorry! 

*sometime later*

Ikari: *typing* As I suspected, it appears to be a normal day of work for my beloved Mama and Dada. They spend most of their time apart from each other, as they do not work at neighboring desks. For two individuals who love each other to no end like they do, it must be heartbreaking to be so far apart. Even worse, it seems as if my Mama still acts as something of a servant to the Big Fat Meanie who swings that metal stick around all day. I do not like that Big Fat Meanie. He always bosses around my Mama, and brings her so much pain and suffering. Why does she put up with him? Why doesn’t she stand up for herself? She stood up for me when the daycare teacher gave me a timeout for throwing a ball at the door. Why is this any different… Ah well. At least my Mama has Aunt Fenneko to keep her company. 

Fenneko: *looking at Ikari who’s just kinda slapping his hand on the Mr. Spell* ...Your son is awfully attached to that calculator. 

Retsuko: It’s not a calculator! It’s supposed to help him spell and read words and stuff.

Fenneko: *he’s still slapping away* ...The sad thing? He’s probably a better speller than most people on social media these days. 

Ikari: Hahahaha! *typing* My Aunt Fenneko is very funny.

Tsunoda: *she drops by* Hey, giiiiiiiiiiirls~! *fondling Fenneko’s cheek* How’s my favorite booty-call doin’~? ;) 

Fenneko: Patiently waiting to leave this joint and utterly destroy your pus-

Retsuko: *AHEM!* *gestures towards Ikari*

Fenneko: ...Oh. Right. 

Tsunoda: *comes up to Ikari* Aww, you brought little Ikari with you again, Retsy?

Retsuko: We couldn’t find a babysitter. And you two need to watch what you say around him!

Tsunoda: Aw, what’s the matter? It’s not like he’s comprehending anything that I’m saying right now, right?

Ikari: *typing* She’s got you there, Mama.

Retsuko: *scoffs* I still don’t want hearing that kinda thing!

Fenneko: And he won’t! You have my word, Retsy.

Retsuko: Thank you!

Tsunoda: …*ahem* *looks Ikari right in his eyes* Sex! Vaginas! Anal! Fucking! Cunninglingus! 

Retsuko: *GAAAAAAASP!* *she immediately covers his ears*

Ikari: Agoo?

Tsunoda: *completely inaudible from his point of view. She and Retsuko appear to be arguing*

Ikari: …*starts typing again* I do not understand the relationship my parents have with Aunt Tsunoda. She and Fenneko get along with each other very much, yet Mama and Dada seem very uneasy with her. Almost as if they don’t like having her around. I’m not sure why, however. Aunt Tsunoda is very funny, and playful with me. She’s also very pretty……… Do I like girls?

Tsunoda: I’m just saying, Retsy! Gotta teach ‘em while they’re young!

Retsuko: NOT THAT YOUNG! 

Fenneko: Geez, Tsunoda. Even I’M not that cruel. 

*suddenly, a powerful presence can be felt right behind all four of them*

Ton: HEY! PIPE IT DOWN, WILL YA?!

Retsuko, Fenneko, and Tsunoda: *GASP!*

Ton: …*patting Ikari on the back* You’re setting a bad example for the child. 

Retsuko: ...Y-y-y-yes sir! It won’t happen again!

Tsunoda: Yeah! Scout’s honor!

Fenneko: Roger roger.

Ton: Hmph. *goes back to his golf swings*

Ikari: … *typing* Hmm. Perhaps I have misjudged The Big Fat Meanie’s character… Nah, he’s still a Big Fat Meanie.

*Later, at a karaoke bar, Retsuko is recapping what happened at work to Haida, Washimi, and Gori. Fenneko went home to lay pipe.*

Ikari: *typing* My Mama seems to really like coming to this place after working. It appears to be something of a sanctuary for her to be at peace with herself, and not have to worry about what other people think. Ironic how her source of relaxation comes from such a loud and aggressive musical genre. Dada also seems to really like it here. This particular place seems to mean a lot to both of them. Was this perhaps where they initially met? Or where I was conceived? Perhaps I may never know fully. At least not yet. 

Gori: Whaaaaaaa?! You mean Tsunoda just up and said all that nasty stuff right to your kid?!

Washimi: Why?

Retsuko: I don’t know! Just to spite me, I guess?! 

Haida: Maybe she just needs a new arch enemy, seeing how she and Fenneko are all lovey-dovey now. 

Gori: Aw, but why at the cost of such a lovely boy’s innocence?

Washimi: Truly. If I were you, Retsuko, I’d protect my child from any and all things that would harm his view of the world. Who knows what kind of damage that would do to his psyche when going forward.

Ikari: *typing* The bird lady and her gorilla friend always appear to be wise and smart. I see why my Mama goes to them for guidance.

*Later that night, after a long session of karaoke singing, the two parents make it home with Ikari*

Haida: *phew* Well, I guess we learned something today!

Retsuko: Yeah! Keep Tsunoda away from our baby.

Haida: Er… yeah. Something like that. 

Ikari: *typing* And so, my day comes to a close once again. It would appear that I have come back unharmed, my belly is filled with delicious food, and I heard my Mama’s singing again with Dada providing Bass. T’was a good day. *yaaaaaawwwns* But I am quite sleepy after all is said and done. And I am afraid of getting a nightmare tonight. So… M-mama! Dada!

Retsuko: Oh! You wanna come to bed with us, Ikari?

Ikari: Mm-hmm. *nods his head*

Haida: Well, alright! Just try not to take up too much space in bed!

Ikari: Hmhm!

*And so, Ikari puts down his Mr. Spell, and heads off to bed with his parents*

*Meanwhile*

Tsunoda: Aw, Fenny-poooooooooo~!

Fenneko: Nope. You’re not getting any tonight. You said nasty things to my friend’s baby.

Tsunoda: D’ooohh! It won’t happen again! I promise! 

Fenneko: You sure?

Tsunoda: Positive! I won’t do it again to Retsuko’s kid, and certainly not when we have our own kids.

Fenneko: …”W-when”?

Tsunoda: ...OH! Right! I forgot to tell you! I’ve been doing some thinking, and… I think I’m ready to adopt!

Fenneko: …

Tsunoda: ...Fenny-Poo?

Fenneko: Okay, we can fuck now.

So, yeah! That was Ikari’s Day Out, hopefully you guys enjoyed it, and like I said, go give Tony a follow, if you can.

[kingdomofkitten]

The Wedding: Part 7: The Build-Up

*it is finally the big day, as everyone is getting the wedding ready to go. With the two parties, they’re getting themselves dressed up*

Retsuko: *setting up her veil* ….I don’t know, it doesn’t look quite right. Looks a little crooked.

Tsunoda: Oh, NOW you’re worried about how good things look.

Retsuko: Hey, it’s different when it’s on you!

Rie: Honey, relax. You look great!

Hiroko: Yeah! Chill a bit, my bro will love ya no matter what!

Retsuko: ….well, yeah. That part I know for certain.

Harumi: So you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

Retsuko: Yeah….heh.

Riko: What’s up?

Retsuko: I don’t know. Just...something about Haida, and Ryuu...kinda makes me think about Ikari a little bit.

Hiroko: ...huh?

Retsuko: Er, nothing! I-I’ll chat with Haida about it later.

Harumi: Oh. Um, alright.

Retsuko: Yeah….um, what time is it?

Tsunoda: *checks phone* It is-*GASP!* We need to get a move on! We don’t have much time!

Retsuko: UH, a-alright!

Rie: Just put a little lipstick on, you look fine otherwise!

Retsuko: Uh, right! *gets lipstick on her mouth* ...I wonder if Haida’s stressing out as much.

*MEANWHILE!*

Haida: *setting up his tie* ...so, how do I look?

Ryuu: Oof, you SURE this guy’s gonna be my brother-in-law, dad? *snickers*

Haida: H-hey!

Ryota: Ah, all in good fun!

Ookami: Being real, you look about as good as a groom could probably look.

Hisoka: You look great, son…*sniff*

Haida: Aw, dad, c’mon, not now!

Hisoka: S-sorry! Just...oh, my son’s about to get married, I feel like I need to shed a few tears!

Ryota: Don’t feel too bad, I’m probably going to be crying a ton giving my baby girl away...er, happy tears, rest assured.

Haida: Heh, thanks.

Ryota: ...er, listen, Haida. I know, I probably shouldn’t be one to talk about this, given...well, some of the stuff I’ve done, but...treat her well, okay? Treat her the way a good man treats his wife.

Haida: O-of course, sir! I will try to make sure I treat your daughter with the utmost respect and dignity!

Ryota: *chuckles* I don’t think she’ll care so much for that, I think she just wants to be loved!

Haida: Well, I will love her until the end of time.

Ryota: Wonderful.

Ryuu: ...I, uh, I wish you two all the best...brother.

Haida: Hehe, dude, you’re still uncomfortable? I thought you warmed up!

Ryuu: It’s all still a little much for me, I’m just trying to take it all in.

Haida: Ah. Well, maybe some time soon, you and I can hang out again, do some more brother-in-law bonding, huh?

Ryuu: ...alright. :)

Haida: Awesome!

Fenneko: *opens the door* Is the dum-dum ready to go, or do we need to wait another five hours?

Haida: Er, just about, Fenneko!

Fenneko: Alrighty. If you guys wanna go out to the lobby, I’ll make sure Haida didn’t forget anything. Spoilers, he probably did.

Ryota: Very well.

Hisoka: *pats Haida on the back* See you out there, sport!

Haida: Thanks, dad! *they leave, with he and Fenneko the only ones there* So, did I miss anything?

Fenneko: Let’s see...ah. *fixes his collar* There. Now you look something vaguely resembling presentable.

Haida: Hahahaha. *Fenneko goes over to check on herself in the mirror* ...say, can I ask you something?

Fenneko: I dunno, CAN you?

Haida: No, being serious here...why ARE you so hellbent on me and Retsuko being a thing? Like, you tried to help in the hospital, you were quick to help me figure out Retsuko wasn’t going out with someone, you even helped us try to calm down Ryuu. You just overall seemed to want us to be together. Even willing to pay for the wedding! Seemed kinda...weird, I dunno.

Fenneko: …….you….you really want to know?

Haida: ...what, is there something to it?

Fenneko: Erm...kinda…….look, what I’m about to tell you? It does NOT leave this room. Under any circumstances. Got it?

Haida: S-sure! No problem!

Fenneko: Okay. So…..when you and I first met…….I MIGHT had gotten a bit of a crush on ya?

Haida: ...what?

Fenneko: I should also emphasize HAD. It’s dead now. But yeah, for a brief time, you were actually the one thing that warmed up my cold, black heart.

Haida: ...h….how long did this happen?

Fenneko: Erm, not too terribly long. I think over time, I quickly started just seeing you as a good buddy, more than anything. Pretty sure the first time I saw Tsunoda as a hot piece of ass was the final nail on the coffin.

Haida: I...huh….so, how does that correlate to-

Fenneko: I’m getting there, you impatient Ingrid. :3

Haida: Right, sorry.

Fenneko: I kinda just happened to notice you crushing hard on Retsuko, and sort of figuring out stuff between you two, and...well, realized you two would actually be pretty badass together. So, I wanted to see you two happy together more than anything. Like, that’s kinda my high...in fact, it actually kinda reminded me of something you told me.

Haida: Yeah?

Fenneko: When you and Retsuko actually started getting real serious in the relationship, I remember you being just so awestruck by how much you genuinely loved her. Like, whenever we got the time, and the alcohol in our systems, you would just list off every single wonderful thing about her you could think of. And I remember this one day, this one fucking day, you said this thing that, at the time, I didn’t really get, but it soon sunk in. You said you were so in love with her, that even if you two were to break up, you wouldn’t even feel too bad, because you now cared more about her being happy, than her being with you.

Haida: ….you know, I...I do remember that.

Fenneko: Yeah. I guess I sorta realized that was kinda my motto for you two. Like, if somehow I wound up with you, that would be kinda cool, I guess. Hell, truthfully, I wouldn’t mind hookin’ up with Retsy. But if it had you two being happy and in love with each other, then quite frankly, I would be much more satisfied. To see those faces staring lovingly at each other, with your own little bundle of joy in your arms...that would bring me so much more joy than any 4chan member could ever do.

Haida: ...wow...well, uh...I must confess that after knowing you for as long as I have, I unfortunately don’t really have any romantic feelings for you.

Fenneko: “Unfortunately”? Dude, that’s a godsend. I don’t wanna waste all this money, just so you can flip-flop on Retsuko.

Haida: But...I do appreciate all the help you’ve given. Is there any way to repay you?

Fenneko: Just listen to Retsuko’s dad, and treat the girl right. That’s all.

Haida: Will do...so, uh, is there anyone that IS warming your heart at the moment?

Fenneko: Tsunoda, duh. ;3

Haida: Heh, I never thought you would ever say that!

Fenneko: Me neither. But yeah, she...I dunno, she’s still a bitch, and gets on my nerves, but...I don’t think I’ve ever felt so close to someone as her. Even when it was you, I don’t think it ever got this bad.

Haida: You’re starting to see how I felt with Retsuko! *chuckles* ...well, if you need any real help expressing yourself to her...I’ll try to help out whenever I can. To pay you back. :)

Fenneko: ...you...you mean it?

Haida: Yeah! What are friends for, right?

Fenneko: ….*hugs him* thanks, dude.

Haida: *hugs her back* No problem.

Fenneko: *breaks the hug, and starts making her way to the door* C’mon, let’s get you hitched already. You get to the aisle, I’ll check up on the bride.

Haida: Okay...ah, man, today’s going to be awesome. All these years, leading to my special day, with the girl of my dreams. ^_^ I just hope she says I do...but I guess even if she doesn’t, that’s okay, right? I mean, as long as she’s happy...then again, there’s Ikari, that would complicate things. How would he feel? Well, I guess he’s a baby, he probably wouldn’t care. Actually, if the wedding is off, would that break us up, or just keep us in the boyfriend-girlfriend stage? Or would we stay in the fiancée stage? Oh, whatever it is, I hope we don’t have to go through tha-

Fenneko: Dude, if you don’t get going, I will marry the damn bride myself.

Haida: Gah! Sorry! *follows her* ….wait, I thought you wanted Tsunoda?

Fenneko: Do I look like I care? :3 *closes the door* Besides, I don’t mind trying to do that, given I have the power to wed you two.

Haida: ….huh?

Fenneko: Oh, didn’t I tell you? I got ordained just for this occasion! *starts walking ahead of Haida*

Haida: *standing in the hallway* …….you got WHAT?!

Now, I hear the lot of you. “Jacob, you just posted Part 6! How the hell did you post Part 7 so fast?! You should be taking longer than System of a Down takes to release a new album, you lazy piece of shit! I bet you had your thumbs up your bumhole throughout the entire time you were supposed to be writing, considering what a slob you are!”

Firstly, uh, wow, a bit rude.

Secondly....IIIII kinda finished this one up way early? Yeah, I was trying to do a thing where I had some parts done beforehand, so I have a clearer idea of where I want the story to go....ended up not going with it fully, but it did allow me to finish this! So, now, I have one (well, technically two, there IS an epilogue) more chapter left! And it’s a BIG one! With paragraphs! Narration! And even a big bit of art that I plan to show at the end!

And I wanna get this done before either May 31, or June 14, when Season 2 comes out!

Somebody please kill me, for the love of God! :D