#like near has survivors guilt and literally why wouldnt you i definitely would and its obvious near struggles with surpassing L | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xnearx · 2 years

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mello and nears whole relationship is so like *screaming crying throwing up oh my god oh god oh fuck oh fuck* but thats okay cause i keep that all locked away in a little box in the back of my mind and we dont talk about it at all ever.

#mello didnt want to die and i dont think he thought he was going to like i dont think that at all but #he still made the sacrifice and like near is going to have to live with that for the rest of his life #like near has survivors guilt and literally why wouldnt you i definitely would and its obvious near struggles with surpassing L #like in a way he never surpassed L and wouldnt have even lived if it wasnt for mello #like theres no romantic drama in what mello did i just honestly dont think he thought he would die and like hed show back up #and be all smug to near and maybe they would have surpassed L together im pretty sure thats what near was most hoping for #like just by seeing how near treated mello i dont think he was indifferent i think he did care for mello in his own way and i think they #both struggled to communicate with one another because they had completely different ways of communicating and thinking #but thats whats so special about their relationship is that they are bonded in that theyre both Ls successors #theyre both so incredibly smart and have parts of L in them and that is unifying #I wish they both could have lived i think we would see a near who is more playful as an adult #and a mello who is more thoughtful in his actions

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