#both struggled to communicate with one another because they had completely different ways of communicating and thinking

[xnearx]

mello and nears whole relationship is so like *screaming crying throwing up oh my god oh god oh fuck oh fuck* but thats okay cause i keep that all locked away in a little box in the back of my mind and we dont talk about it at all ever.

[canisvesperus]

:D

[wheelsup30]

A Drop of Blood (Spencer Reid x Male!Reader)

Chapter 1

(Note: Welcome to the first chapter of A drop of blood! I've been really excited to finish and post this so I hope you all like it :3)

AO3: x

CW: Descriptions of gore, mentions of addiction, combination of real world and fantasy elements, mdni.

Word count: 2.1k

Dividers by: @cafekitsune x x

“Four bodies, all male, all drowned and missing their hearts.” 

“That’s a new one.” Derek’s brow furrowed as he looked over the pictures JJ had distributed. Waterlogged corpses with holes just under the ribs, the same on each body. 

“It looks like the hearts were pulled out…” It’s a terrifying thought, but from the silence that falls over the room it would seem Emily was right as she squinted in disgust, suppressing a shudder. “These bodies were found weeks apart, why weren’t we called in sooner?” 

JJ had no answer, neither did Hotch, both just shaking their heads with clear disapproval towards the actions of the coastal town’s sheriff. The silence, however, wasn’t kept for long. “The heart is usually seen as a symbol of emotion- particularly love and affection…the victims all being male means it’s likely the unsub was betrayed by a former love,” Spencer rambled, gesturing at different aspects of the images.

“A woman scorned…” Rossi added, nodding slowly, but a frown of disagreement settled on the younger profiler’s features. 

“Actually, with the strength it would take to drown some of these men, it’s more likely we’re looking for another man.”

This time, Emily disagreed. “Sure, but that doesn’t mean we should completely rule out a woman. I mean, tearing out the heart? You said it yourself, that’s revenge. It’s more common for female killers.” 

The sound of a sudden phone ringtone tore the focus from the group. “Hotchner.” It must be serious, because Hotch stood up quite abruptly, shuffling pictures back into folders. “And he’s alive?” That shook the room, and everyone else followed suit, packing up the papers and getting ready to leave the office. He ended the call with a muttered ‘We’ll be there as soon as possible.’ then turned to the team, “There’s a fifth victim, he’s alive. I want you all ready to go in twenty.” 

One eighty minute flight later, the jet landed and the team made their way to a small coastal town in New Hampshire. JJ and Rossi went to the beach where the bodies were washing up, Morgan and Prentiss stayed at the station to learn more about the victims, and Hotch and Spencer were taken to the hospital to meet the fifth one…the living one.

The stark white walls and loud machinery in the room were overwhelming to most people, and it’s clear whatever trauma the poor guy had endured was making it much worse for him to listen to. It was almost like he was afraid of it all as they watched him through the window into his room. “He’s pretty much unharmed,” The doctor explained, shaking his head in disbelief. “No water in his lungs and all of his wounds are superficial.” 

“That doesn’t account for his mental state.” Hotch pointed out quietly. It was worrying, seeing a young man seemingly so panicked by his surroundings. “Do we know his name?”

“No…” He’s told with a sigh. “The poor boy is so shaken up he barely understands what I’m sayin’ half the time.” That wasn’t exactly a hard feat, the doctor was an older guy with a voice that would probably be best described as muffled. Spencer was struggling a bit even with an attempt to lip read. 

“Can we speak with him?” Another sigh escaped the doctor. Small town cases always had this, the people (usually men) who just didn’t trust an outside source intruding on their community. Both agents suppressed the urge to roll their eyes, just as their colleagues were likely doing too.

“Try not to stress him out.” He warned as he let them in, guiding them over to the bed where the victim silently stared at them, his eyes wide. “Son, these men are with the FBI, alright? They’re gonna help you out.” And with that, the doctor walked out, clearly having had enough of dealing with his mute patient for the time being.

Hotch spoke first, gently and slow enough that the young man could follow along if things were too overwhelming. “I’m Agent Hotchner…this is Doctor Reid…do you know why you’re here?” 

There was a long pause, and he just stared at the two of them, blinking almost too slowly. Spencer noted that despite being submerged in saltwater less than three hours ago, his eyes weren’t bloodshot. 

“Do you know your name..?” Hotch tried instead, raising an eyebrow. There’s another long silence, but this time the victim hesitantly nodded. “Can you tell us your name, please?” This time he shook his head, and Spencer almost did a double take, his mind going at a million miles a minute to figure out why that was the answer they’d received- perhaps he couldn’t talk, or was deaf, he was staring directly at them when they spoke- or maybe the unsub threatened him, told him he’d hurt him or someone else if he made a sound. 

“What do you want us to call you?” Spencer asked, just in case he was correct to think the latter. The young man looked around the room, still not uttering a single word.

“I’ve been calling him Five.” Hotch tried his hardest not to swing around as soon as he heard that damn doctor’s grating mumble again. He had appeared at the door to listen in on the questioning, folding his arms. Obviously, Hotch wasn’t about to allow that, it was awful to call someone the victim number they were.

“Absolutely not-” 

“...Five.” The strange man repeated, silencing the room. 

Just from that, the two profilers gathered plenty. His voice was raw, potentially from shouting, or potentially from swallowing salt water… and his accent was almost impossible to place. The poor thing had clearly suffered. Hotch wants to refuse again, but this was the first thing he’d said at all if the doctor was to be believed, and maybe he’d share his actual name once he trusted them.

“Five…alright, can you tell us what happened to you?” 

He doesn’t tell them. Mainly because he’s insistent that nothing happened to him, but that was incredibly hard to believe when he legally didn’t exist. No prints on the system, he won’t give them his name- hell, the blood test results came back unreadable. Truly, he was an anomaly, and they couldn’t help the powerful feeling of sympathy that overcame the two of them- it was honestly a little alarming how much they felt the need to protect him.

“Can I ask why we weren’t called in sooner?” It’s more than obvious that Emily had been waiting to ask the chief of police this since they first shook hands. The chief didn't look her in the eye as he sighed and wiped his face wearily.  

“It happens every year. A couple guys turn up dead when the waters get rough, and then it ends and we move on. Different time every year, but always like that.” He pointed to the photos of the bloated corpses, seemingly unphased by the deep holes in each dead man’s chest. “But it’s never more than three…this is five.”

Hotch looked like he wanted to kill someone, his signature frown paired with slightly wider eyes than usual. “You have a serial killer in your town, and you just left it?” 

“You really think something human did this?” The chief asked, causing the whole team to roll their eyes, this happened in so many small town cases- everyone knew everyone and there couldn’t possibly be a murderer, so it must be some urban legend or myth killing all these people.

Unless there was an outsider.

Derek suggested it first. After reconvening at the police department and hearing Hotch talk about the fifth victim, he only had one thing to ask: “How do we know this guy isn’t our unsub?”

The two that had visited him were taken aback for a moment, normally that was right up there with their first assumptions, but it was like their minds had blanked the moment he’d looked at them. “We don’t.” Hotch said firmly, trying to recover from a pretty embarrassing oversight. 

Spencer, however, still seemed a little iffy on it. “There’s no way he’d be strong enough to do that to those men…he’s innocent.”

Everyone froze, looking at him like he’d grown a second head, that was awfully conclusive for Reid, especially with little to no evidence. “And how do you know that?” Rossi asked, a little unnerved by how out of character that was. He wanted to give Spencer the benefit of the doubt, expecting a long winded ramble proving this fifth…victim’s innocence.

“He…I don’t know. I just have a feeling.” He contested, a small frown of frustration on his face. 

“Well, a feeling won’t find who’s killing these men, so let's get to work.” Hotch instructed, giving the others a look to confirm they’ve also noticed Spencer’s odd behaviour. It was worrying, to say the least, seeing as the last time he was this brash and abrasive he was deep in the throes of addiction.

Nothing. There was absolutely no evidence on the bodies or information from the victims to prove anything about the unsub. All that they knew so far was that every victim had spent a lot of time at the local beach in the weeks leading up to their deaths. There was no history of abuse or antisocial behaviour from any of them, no one who would want to harm them. Nothing. 

Hotch was beginning to grow frustrated by the end of the day, and decided if he wanted to get more information from ‘Five’, he’d need to go and see him without Spencer. From this point onwards, the younger profiler had been marked as biased, and he wasn’t going to allow him anywhere near the victim if he could help it. 

Once the rest of the team were settled in their hotel rooms for the evening, Hotch took the opportunity to go back to the hospital, finding his way back to the room where Five was being kept. The whole ward had an odd feeling to it that he couldn’t quite place…the nurses seemed like they weren’t all there behind the eyes and Five’s doctor was nowhere to be found. The young man was certainly different than when they had first met- he’d been allowed to put the clothes he’d been found in back on, clothes that gave Hotch more questions than answers. They were old…not vintage, old. A cotton shirt and trousers that looked worn enough to need patches on the knees, the once white fabric covering his torso now yellowing to a beige-brown. The question on his tongue was held in place when Five looked up at him, and he felt his blood run cold. Something was freezing him in place as Five slowly tilted his head, there was a dip in the top of his pupils- just for a moment but he knew what he saw- 

Five didn’t speak. He didn’t have to, he saw the horrified expression on Hotch’s face and slowly reached forward, grasping his hand tightly.

Reflections, 1987…the book feels heavy in Aaron’s hand as he walks down the hallway, headed to find his friends so they can all laugh at the photos and sign each other's back pages. They’d agreed to meet in one of the empty classrooms, but he couldn’t remember which one, so he hazarded a guess and pushed open the door to what he thought was his friends’ muffled conversation. 

‘Pour, O pour the pirate sherry;

  Fill, O fill the pirate glass;

And, to make us more than merry

  Let the pirate bumper pass.’

A girl stands on one of the tables among the group, the only one not wearing a paper-mache pirate hat, her blonde hair shining in the fluorescent lights. His heart stills a moment, his eyes going wide as he takes a deep breath…that was her. He’d never felt so sure of anything in his whole life- and he sure as hell didn’t believe in fate, but this was something so visceral that he couldn’t question it. He was going to marry her.

Five yelped and cowered away from Hotch, a look of anger and betrayal in his eyes that was as confusing as it was startling. “What did you do to those men?” Hotch hissed before he could even think about the consequences of an accusation like that. No answer was given, but for a moment he swore he could taste saltwater as he tore his eyes away from the supposedly frail man on the bed. Something was very, very wrong here, and that something had definitely already gotten to Spencer.

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: @ralvezfanatic @samsgoddess @pisceslovrr @noelslibrary

[hippolotamus]

Happy (incredibly belated) Birthday to mi amor, @disasterbuckdiaz 💙 thank you for your patience

honey, when you call my name | 12.6k | E (Buddie)

“I was at the bar, Buck.” Eddie’s voice is quieter now, dripping with uncertainty. “I walked in- and I saw the team. Then I saw you. At the pool table. Kissing someone.” Eddie inhales sharply and it feels like the air is being ripped directly from Buck. “And when I saw that I- I had to leave.”

The words play back in Buck’s mind in slow motion as he tries to piece them together. None of it makes any kind of rational sense. Eddie was there? He saw Buck and then had to–

“Did you have sex with her?” Eddie blurts out. 

That is not at all what Buck was expecting. Ever since Shannon died there’s been an unspoken rule between them. A silent pact to never inquire about or interfere with the other’s romantic life. And sure, Buck broke that with Ana, but only because Eddie was having panic attacks. What else was he supposed to do? This is completely different in every way. Because his best friend, man he’s hopelessly in love with, and star of every filthy fantasy, wants to know if anything more happened with a stranger at a bar.

The implication clicks, allowing something bright and hopeful to flicker to life in his chest. A wish Buck never dared let himself believe would be fulfilled. “Would it matter if I did?” 

Buck doesn’t miss the way Eddie’s nostrils flare slightly before he attempts to cover it with a mask of indifference. How he seems to be struggling not to look away again. 

“It’s not like it’s really my business anyway.” Eddie shrugs and begins picking at the label on his drink with his thumbnail. 

The flickering ember of hope draws from Eddie’s reaction, daring to glow the tiniest bit brighter. “I didn’t, you know. Do anything with her, I mean.”

Eddie pauses his fidgeting, just long enough for Buck to notice before starting again. The casual silence that had been there before is anything but now. It feels weightier, the ease replaced with tension and doubt, and Buck starts to wonder if he’s completely misinterpreted the situation.

“Did you want to?”

“No!” If this is going where Buck hopes it’s going he wants to be as clear as he can. He quickly adds, “Not with her.”  

Eddie jerks his head up, staring at Buck with equal parts curiosity and disbelief. It pins him in place, leaving him helpless to do anything but stare back. He doesn’t risk moving, his breathing rapid and shallow, too afraid of severing this potential new thread weaving its way into their well established connection. Another anchor point in their root system, twining them together.

“And if it had been someone else?” Eddie asks.

Not that Buck is the most effective communicator, but he kinda wishes Eddie would just say what he means already. However, he supposes, two can play at that game. “I guess it would depend on who’s asking.”

Eddie hums, shifting to set his bottle down on the counter. It lands with a semi-hollow clink and a gentle slosh as he maintains his hold, tapping one finger on the neck. As if he’s contemplating, trying to sort out a complicated equation. He briefly squeezes his eyelids shut tight, pinching his lips together, something warring within him. With a loud exhale through his nose, his body finally relaxes again and releases his grip, letting both hands rest at his sides. 

There’s something else, too, when Eddie faces forward again. A new aura of confidence rolling off of him in waves. It’s vaguely reminiscent of a different night in this kitchen when their roles were reversed and Eddie stood down, unyielding to whatever the fuck Buck thought he was doing. 

Not now though. 

Now he looks intently at Buck. He sees him. He sees him in a way that makes Buck feel stripped down and exposed. A raw vulnerability that intensifies as Eddie steps towards him, his boots echoing with each heel strike. Another and another until he’s standing in Buck’s space, effectively caging him in. 

Eddie takes the beer from his hand, placing it off to the side. It seems like a hallucination, some sort of wild fever dream. But then Eddie’s fingers are tucked under Buck’s chin, his thumb sweeping across Buck’s bottom lip and making him shiver. Christ it feels so fucking real. Please let it be.  

This close, Buck can make out flecks of green interspersed with warm golden browns. He can smell the oud and lavender cologne Sophia gave him two Christmases ago. Eddie swears up and down it’s not really his style, but Buck knows better. He only had to be tortured by it every time Eddie came home from a date. Maybe it can be his now. A scent from his person. A type of claim letting everyone know he belongs to Eddie. Even if it’s just this one time. 

“And what if I’m asking?” Eddie inquires, low and husky in a way Buck’s never heard from his best friend before.

“Are you?” Buck responds, barely above a whisper.

read the whole thing here

[twig-tea]

TsukuTabe S2 Is Perfection

I’ve been waffling about what to write about Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna s2, which completed last week (and which we have access to at all thanks to the hard work of @furritsubs). I have had to just give up on getting across how much this show means to me; there's no way I'll be able to communicate these feelings with words. Season 1 was excellent but Season 2 was everything I wanted and more that I didn't know I needed. This is going to be more disjointed than usual because I don't know how to be coherent about this show (and because tumblr ate my first two attempts).

At its core, Tsukuritai Onna to Tabtetai Onna asks what if we were all just a little bit more conscientious and kind to one another? What if women were given space to be themselves and to make the choices that were best for them? This is the world of TsukuTabe, and I'm so grateful to have had the chance to inhabit it over these last four weeks. 

I have so much love for the way Nomoto and Kasuga develop their relationship in conjunction with their relationships with the other women in their lives. Nagumo, Sayama, and Yako are integral to the success of Nomoto and Kasuga’s relationship, and they're also important relationships for the happiness of Nomoto and Kasuga in their own right. The found family vibes are immaculate. 

The conflict between Kasuga and Nomoto this season was so perfectly them; the way they struggled with the transition from friends to lovers and being two people who are kind and giving in a relationship together and how that requires honesty and trust were both familiar conflicts that hit me hard in the feels. 

Kasuga's conflict with her family also hit me really hard. I once did the wrong thing and showed up to support my family in caring for someone who abused me, and it was a horrible experience that was ruinous to my mental health and took years to get over (and in the end they had to find a different solution anyway, which they could have done in the first place). Watching Kasuga refuse to make a similar decision, standing strong in the face of the social pressures of her parents and her aunt was so healing for me. And then to have her decision affirmed by someone of her parent's age? I sobbed in those scenes. 

I also loved the way this season handled Nagumo’s anxiety issues and how she was given space to decide to get professional help on her own time and terms. The way her parents tried to help was also very familiar to me and realistic, and it was just a little heartbreaking how they tried and didn't understand how their attempts at helping added pressure in a way that wasn't helpful. 

The way this show covers this important beats in a person's life through these small, everyday moments, and in such a gentle way, is what I love so much about it. The show itself makes a safe space so that these subjects can come up and not feel overwhelming. 

And it's also really important to me that all of the characters get to have these moments. Sakae not only reflects on her insensitivity and the unfairness of Japan not having marriage equality, but she also reflects on the pressures on her to marry and whether she actually wants that for herself. Fujita not only helps Kasuga gain proxy acceptance for her choices but gets the same back for herself around her decision to divorce. All of these women live in ways that invoke social stigma, and the way this show gives explicit permission to these women to live their best lives is both cathartic and critical.

I can't end this disjointed ramble without talking about the character I most identified with this season, Yako. Yako is an older, self-actualized asexual lesbian who makes friends with Nomoto on the Internet, recommends lesbian films to her, and mostly listens and affirms as Nomoto goes through her own process of discovering herself. I ran a GSA and have been on the Internet a long time, I've been in Yako’s position a lot (though I can only aspire to be as kind and wise). She is so patient and so genuinely happy for Nomoto when she and Kasuga get together, and she seems so quietly thrilled to have more wonderful people in her life willing to indulge her random party ideas. Her sharing a connection to a LGBTQ+-friendly real estate agency while being angry on their behalf that she even has to was perfection. 

It's so important that these characters say the things they say aloud. I want to inscribe every sentence of this show into everyone's brains. This show is perfect, and lovely, and a warm bath, and a hug, and a cup of your favourite warm beverage perfectly fixed to your liking all in one. If you haven't done yourself the favour of watching yet, I highly recommend that you do so immediately. 

[not an ID: Real footage of the entire audience's satisfaction and catharsis after watching TsukuTabe S2. Actual ID in alt text].

[thatsexcpisces]

Astrology observations pt. 8

🔅Disclaimer🔅: these are just my personal observations and things I’ve noticed and encountered, I’m not a professional astrologer!!

🧡Pluto/Mars-mercury people are likely to struggle with intrusive thoughts that could mostly be related to violence and inappropriate things done to others

🧡I feel like many Scorpio suns have a theme of “death” that stays in their life.

for example Scorpios in general may have lost a parent at a young age or suffer with the loss of family members. They may have lost a parent or even both during their teenage years due to an illness or lose people who are close to them.

🧡People with harsh mercury-ASC aspects or Virgo risings in harsh aspects can come off as “know-it-alls” or “well actually...” people

🧡Libra risings May have an obsession when it comes to collecting beauty products/self-care products or any expensive/fancy items and accessories. This is because taurus, a Venusian sign associated with luxury and indulgence, rules their 8th house of obsessive focuses and vice versa, they have Scorpio in their second house, amplifying the energy of having an attachment to material items.

🧡Aquarius moons have a closer/better relationship with their father than their mother

🧡Whenever you’re in a work or school-related environment, people are most likely to view your personality or see you as your mars sign. If you’re a Virgo/Capricorn Mars, you may have been the person in class that appears as hardworking or shy/quiet and stayed back from the crowd to do their own thing. If you’re a Leo Mars, people at work or school may see you as having a spontaneous personality or dramatic and also as someone very artistic and who likes to express themselves. Aquarius Mars can be seen as very opinionated.

🧡Gemini/Aquarius placements will make you feel like you can talk to them about the weirdest things or literally anything without feeling judged

🧡I feel like Leo and aries moons want to and always have this plan to try and hold grudges forever after they’ve been hurt because of how strongly Leo & aries moons feel their emotions, but they usually end up forgetting and hold one for max a few days until their emotions go through a different range and they focus on something else. (It depends on the situation tho because if really hurt, they can manage to hold one till death)

🧡A Sagittarius moon has such a prominent energy in someone’s birth chart. Even if the person has a stellium in another sign it’s like once they have a sag moon it takes over their whole personality. For example, someone can be a cap sun, mercury, rising, etc and you might expect them to show Capricorn traits and appear as “serious or hard working” but if they have that sag moon it’s like you’ll see then as a completely outgoing and bubbly person who’s always cracking jokes. Their humor and charisma is so contagious and it outshines everything.

🧡Aquarius placements might become certain types of doctors/scientists in a way that the job is related to using modern technology since they have the ability to be innovative

🧡mutable signs are likely to have ADHD

🧡water moons have these super vivid & intuitive dreams or usually the universe may try to send them messages or communicate with them through dreams. for example, a lot of my water moon friends tell me that they’ve had a dream of a person specifically telling them how they feel about them (my friend) and when they ask the person how they feel irl, they say the exact same thing as they said in their dream. Or whatever they dream of likely happens irl.

🧡saturn-ASC harsh aspects may come off as serious and not wanting to interact with others except people they’re close to

🧡 people with Virgo sun + libra mercury in a chart = talking absolute shit about you to others if they don’t like you but never saying it to your face (virgo is ruled by mercury and libra placements just tend to be passive aggressive in general since they’re afraid of open issues)

🧡Pisces risings are so ethereal and beautiful. even though it’s a rare rising sign to have I feel like they’re king easy to point out. It’s usually the people in the room who are always radiating warm energy and giving people hugs. They may also have a soft voice and appearance in general. Very sweet people!

🧡Capricorn mars hate when people try to automatically help them with something or do something for them without them asking for their help first

🧡Jupiter in the 11H individuals can attract friends easily or have a large friendgroup and abundance of friends

🧡I’m so jealous of how organized 6H stelliums and Virgo risings are. Yes, they might secretly not have shit under control, but they still manage to pull it off. I know a lot of people who have this and they always seem to have the perfect structured life with some sort of an organizer or to-do list and succeed in everything.

🧡I feel like no one talks about how jealous Leo moons/Venus or 5H stelliums can be. Sometimes even more than Scorpios. People with these placements are always constantly trying to be the best and everyone’s favorite, and as a result, they might try to “out-perform” and “look better” than the people around them. When they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve, especially from close friends and loved ones, they can spiral into unhealthy coping mechanisms. Some even get attached to people very fast and are the type to get angry and jealous easily if they see their friends and loved ones hanging out with someone else. They’re very possessive and hate feeling like they matter less compared to others. They thrive off validation so theyre the type to give you the silent treatment because you ignored them in some way.

🧡heavy Venusian placements in a chart can l be the type of people to actually ‘judge a book by its cover’. This doesn’t mean that these people don’t care to look at the inside and see the beauty, but they also do appreciate aesthetic and something that is pleasing to the eye or in a visual sense (for a very literal comparison: these are the types of people to be at a bookstore and put a book down because the cover isn’t pretty or it’s boring even if it might be a good book lol)

🧡gemini moons/risings are either super extroverted and outgoing or they barely speak and keep to themselves in social situations. There’s no in between

🧡Pluto in the 8H people might have ego issues and their ego can get in the way of making mature & responsible decisions

🧡moon in the 11H are so warm and loving towards their friends. These are the type of people who’s friends mean so much to them and they always make sure to keep their circle close and happy

[insomnya777]

Hello! First I want to say I adore your boat boys super power AU so much, it’s currently rotating at light speed in my brain like a broken microwave. I think I’ve read at least six times all the way through with what you have, it’s fantastic!

I was also wondering if you had any other recs or personal favorites for boat boys fics, or just fics in general, I’m always looking for recommendations and wonderful authors usually also have great tastes in other fics as well! Thank you for what you do for the boat boy and smalletho community, you’re keeping us well fed lol

Oh my god I have many many recommendations!!!! I've actually been waiting for someone to ask me this LOL

Completed:

Settled is one of my favourites of all-time. If you read it you'll see the long ass comment I left on it lol. Description: A five plus one type of fic where Etho struggles to voice his feeling about double-life, and Joel is there to make it harder.

BIR Universe is a classic, a staple, even. One of the most iconic series of all time. Description: A very messy college universe with a bunch of hermitcraft/life series members.

Somehow, I always end up back in Marianas Trench is another personal favourite. I reread it way too often. The writing is incredible in this one + has a side of ranchers and impdubs. Description: AU where our three favourite soulbound couples go on a triple date! Except it's not a date, all of them broke up sometime before or during their last year of college and none of them are over each other.

Holy Father, judge my sins is so, so good. Anything by giddyfenix always is, I think I've read, like, all of their works. Description: Joel and Etho as the seven deadly sins. After all, what were they if not corrupted?

I Don't Smoke (Except for When I'm Missing You) made my heart break a million times over. I actually cannot read this fic without breaking down. It is a clockers-centered fic, exploring the Etho-Scar relationship, but I had to include it because it's just one of my favourite fics of all time. Description: A look into Etho's perspective on the life he and Scar share. They're not so different, you know? They both like to run away.

Works In Progress:

to all the ships at sea is another personal favourite, because the writing is just so, so good. There are currently six chapters out! Description: Etho has a job as part of the crew manning a lighthouse on a small island. With Cleo and Bdubs gone for a few weeks, Etho settles in to keep the Light running single-handedly. He wasn't expecting his life to be turned upside-down when a visitor turns up on the island, completely out of the blue...and he definitely wasn't expecting to develop feelings for the mysterious young man.

Good Luck, Babe is also very, very good. There are seven chapters out right now! Description: Etho couldn't get himself to turn Joel down. Even when Joel has made it clear time and time again that he had no problem doing the same to him. The lengths he was willing to go for a guy who would barely even let them be seen together in public...

hi, etho is super cute, too. I read it a while ago, and it's still one of my favourites, so do what you will with that. Description: About a month after going missing and having no memories to show for it, Etho gets a weird letter from a strange, anonymous sender who might have the answers to his questions.

And that's about it!! If anyone has more recommendations feel free to comment or leave in the tags because I'm always looking for more fics LOL <3

[whumpsday]

3 whumpy anime to check out this spring!

Go Go Loser Ranger is a heroes vs. villains anime where the villains are the good guys and the heroes are downright evil. Having wiped out all the powerful monsters more than a decade ago, the heroes keep the weakest monsters captive, to parade around and torment on a weekly basis while the public believes otherwise. Because they're immortal when hit with most weapons, they'll always reform to be hurt over and over again, despite feeling all the pain.

Footsoldier D is one of those weak monsters, an immortal shapeshifter made of dust, called a "duster". After escaping the heroes' arena, he forms a plan to kill the heroes and steal the few weapons they have that can permanently kill dusters, freeing the rest of his kind. Given that he has the constitution of a porcelain doll, he can't use strength to fight: he has to rely on wits, stealth, shapeshifting (despite knowing very little about humans or the outside world), and a shaky alliance with a double-agent ranger who seems to be taking advantage of him for her own gain.

Whump tags: villain whumpee, hero whumper, immortal whumpee

Watch it on Hulu, Disney+, or any unofficial anime site.

And if you don't have time to check out a whole anime, the Go Go Loser Ranger opening theme video is also really good, with fantastic visuals symbolizing D's struggles!

An Archdemon's Dilemma is a romantic comedy stuffed to the brim with popular whump tropes. Zagan is a demonic sorcerer who attends an auction for the possessions of another recently-killed sorcerer, when he sees that one of those "possessions" is an elf slave, Nephelia. Having had a destitute, harsh past himself, he feels a rush of sympathy and buys her way out, vowing to ensure her safety. However, Nephelia is terrified, believing she's about to be used as a sacrifice in a dark magic ritual. And unfortunately for both of them, Zagan is a socially awkward loser who sucks at communicating.

It's surreal seeing something that looks like it could be a caretaker-new-master whump fic as an actual, fully-realized anime. It definitely doesn't take itself too seriously despite the premise, leaning heavily on the "comedy" part of romantic comedy, and is mostly just a silly time with lots of whump-adjacent stuff thrown in. Fanfic-y to the point of "there's only one bed" being an actual line.

Whump tags: fantasy slavery (very pet-whump-esque in its tropes), caretaker new master

Watch it on Crunchyroll or any unofficial anime site.

The Grimm Variations is an anthology of horror retellings of several Brothers Grimm fairy tales. With each episode being written and directed by different people, it varies wildly in quality, with episodes ranging from laughably bad to incredibly good, but I'm here to talk about episode 2: Little Red Riding Hood.

The Little Red Riding Hood takes place in a dystopian future where the upper and middle class use virtual reality technology to augment their reality. One man, Grey, is tired of this and craves the real: specifically, the feeling of real blood spraying him as he murders countless women, his wealth and connections protecting him from consequences. But when this serial killer makes the mistake of targeting a woman called Scarlet, he finds himself on the other side of the knife. This episode is a complete and utter gorefest with multiple onscreen torture scenes.

This isn't even my favorite episode of the series, it's like my 3rd favorite. But episode 2 is the one with the gruesome torture scene, so it's the one that goes in this post.

Little Red Riding Hood whump tags: whumper-turned-whumpee, torture, gore

Little Red Riding Hood warnings: sexual assault, eye gore, fingernail gore, violence against women, major character death

Watch it on Netflix or any unofficial anime site. Orrrr if you just wanna watch the big torture scene without any of the context, it's on Youtube.

that's all I have for now :)

(P.S: Dungeon Meshi, while not really whumpy as a whole, is also currently airing and very very good and I might write whump fanfic for it at some point in the near future. Netflix or any unofficial anime site.)

[stupidfreakingthoughts]

Thinking about teacher Steve Harrington. Because there is no way in hell Steve wouldn’t go into some type of career working with kids. He was too good at it, he loved it, loved having kids that he could take care of and provide support too in case their childhoods are anything like his was. because if there is any chance of Steve preventing another King of Hawkins High, he’ll take it.

Steve struggled with finding a career. He stayed at his job at Family Video working with Robin until she and the older group graduated and Nancy left to go to some fancy college away from all her trauma. Eddie, Robin and Jonathan went to a community college because that’s all they could afford and Steve was still stuck at his Family Video job. He decided to apply at the same college they all went to for the next fall, doing a two-year degree like the rest of them (except Nancy, she was taking a four-year english degree so that she could take her journalism career further).

After those two years, Eddie’s band got bigger and bigger until it could become his full time job. Corroded Coffin became one of the top metal bands in the world, touring and selling out venues. Meanwhile, Steve and Robin decided to go into the same career path, because they both loved their kids and they had never not worked together, it just felt right.

Steve wanted to work in a middle school, so that he could hopefully help kids out, stop them from becoming bullies like he was. He got a position as the Hawkins Middle Gym Coach, and Robin was the Drama teacher. Steve knew that not everyone was like him in middle school, plenty of people hated exercise and being active. He tried to make the class as fun as possible, playing fun games and not forcing anyone to do anything. Plus, there was always music playing in his class.

His students very quickly picked up on his love for the up and coming band, Corroded Coffin. Of course, they didn’t realize that he was the subject of most of their songs, whether they were sappy love songs (though still metal, of course) or some of CCs more obscure songs, the ones about bats and other dimensions that none of the public understood. His class just knew that whenever they were running laps, they were usually running along to the awesome guitar riffs and drum solos of Corroded Coffins music. They didn’t get why Mr. Harrington, the former basketball captain who was always in his sportswear or jerseys from different teams, liked this punk, metal band that just seemed completely out of his preferred genre of music.

But when they find out who Mr Harringtons husband is, it all starts to make sense.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not having a job despite having time for it?

🍏🥝🍏🥝 <- to keep track of this when it posts,

My family really loves talking about me(20) when they think I'm not listening. I've heard them on multiple occasions say that I need a job and that I should just start working part-time while I'm going to college. The issue with that is that while other people can do both pretty decently, I dont feel like I'm capable of doing both part time and college without one of them suffering a lot because of the other.

My family is pretty financially stable, and the fees I owe never go over 900 dollars and sometimes I even make my own money off of commissions to help pay for things. I actually did have an actual job during my classes for a while filing things and remote video editing work (for the same job) but one of my family members worked with me there as my boss and I decided to quit after they decided to ask if my mom would've rather died than had me after I told him she called trans people abominations (I am trans, I'm only out to that family member and my brother). I haven't found a consistent thing to do to earn money since but I've been trying really hard to advertise my commissions since then.

The part where I feel really guilty though is the fact that I've been going to a community college for almost 3 years now (with my family supporting me money wise) and know I'm only going to come out with a one year certificate because of how fucked my schedule got in my first year. I didn't meet some prerequisites , and despite the course I wanted being a 2 year degree it was worth almost 80 credits, which felt insane as I went into it. 5 classes a term, some 5 minutes after the other, all based on pouring hours and hours into artsy projects (video, audio, 3d modelling, painting, 2d animation, ect...). I broke down within my third term after I started failing some of my classes. I was still trying for my 2 year degree up until 2023 where I decided that getting a certificate that was similar and getting a job after would probably be better for me at this point rather than spending ANOTHER 2 years struggling OR straight up giving up and dropping out with nothing.

I'm also home a lot when I'm not in class (I'm only taking 2-3 classes a term now). I do little things sometimes like take out the trash and pull dishes from out the washer and so on but it's all only when no one is home because the place where things generally need to be cleaned up is all in our very small kitchen AND the fact that I'm scared of them poking fun at me for "finally doing something for once" because it makes me feel terrible when they do. I end up chilling out in my room completing work and desperately finding work arounds for projects to only ever really need done in my room or on campus- generally anywhere that's not going to worry my grandma too much.

I've told my family that their teasing doesn't make me feel good but it just gets responded with "that's just how we show love!" when I know it doesn't have to be that way! My boyfriend teases me pretty often but the difference is that he actually listens to me when I tell him something he said didn't feel very good to me and we talk it through, and then he doesn't make that joke again or i feel better after knowing the context of it!!! A lot of my family members will bicker until another one ends up crying and it's horrible to watch how petty and bitter everyone can be.

Don't really know what else to write, AITA guys? I know I could be doing a lot more around the house instead of working but I'm scared of being touched (my aunt randomly spanked me as hard as she could one time last year) and scared of more mean comments being thrown my way. I already have a plan to leave this home and have been open about it to them, but I don't want to rush it if I don't have to and want to spend a few years saving money up so that I'm not in a horrible situation if things go awry.

What are these acronyms?

[sexydreamgirl]

Hi! I just wanted to share this somewhere so I feel I have the obligation to complete it.

I’ve been apart of the LOA community for some time now, and I’ve had struggles manifesting (not persisting, over consuming info, etc.) and often I would feel upset whenever my desires didn’t appear when I felt I’ve been putting my all into them. I took a break for LOA for a while now because of that reason, but I feel that I am ready to come back because I have been scripting my dream life that I want to live for over a year now and I know that I can live it if I really try.

I mainly moved away from this community because I would just search and search for information and not apply it or put it off, but I’m ready to stop that. The manifesting guide that you posted is going to be my only source of information and soon I’ll remove myself from LOA tumblr and truly persist in my desires.

I know that I have to tackle my self concept, and that will be the first thing that I will do. Sometimes I feel nervous knowing that I am going to live this life behind but honestly I’m going to embrace the thrill. I know my dream life is waiting for me on the other side and I have to get to it.

Are there any tips that you can share before I start my journey?

I think I'd like to clarify very quickly that self concept isn't something you "work on". Self concept is another term for your current state of consciousness, so it's not really something you tackle first so much as it is something you change period. That said...

If there's anything I'd want to leave you with before you initiate your deliberate shift in consciousness it would be the following reminders:

There is no one and nothing to change but self. If you want to change something on the outside you must first make changes on the inside, there is no other way around it. Leave the world alone and change your conception of self. To fight against what 3D is showing you is to fight your own shadow since the world is simply yourself pushed out.

Consciousness is the only reality means that you will only ever experience whatever it is that you are conscious of (being). You will never be able to bear witness to something you did not become conscious of.

There is a difference between thinking of and thinking from. Thinking from is done through declaration of I AM. Thinking of is confined to "I would like to be" or "I will be", both of these are confessions that you are not that which you desire to be. You cannot believe yourself to be rich while also believing that you are poor. You either are it or you are not. You cannot serve two masters.

You can repeat affirmations, script chapters, visualize day in and day out but if you are not identifying and feeling yourself to be one with your imaginal acts, you are performing in vain.

You cannot fail. If you remain faithful to your ideal and you feel yourself to be it, no power on earth will impede its fruition. This is the unbreakable law of life. Failure can only be the end result if you allow it to be the end result.

[lurkingshan]

Kinou nani tabeta/What Did You Eat Yesterday?

You should know that I attempted to start this write up about half a dozen times before I managed to get a single word down. Every time I tried I just ended up staring at the wall. I don’t think I’ve been this emotionally stunned by a show since I Told Sunset About You, and I don’t say that lightly!

So, is this a good show? My god, YES. What an understatement. Let me tell you, as my MDL can attest, I’ve watched nearly 300 dramas. I’m sure I’ve watched even more Western shows since I had a 30 year head start on those. And I can say confidently that I’ve never seen anything quite like this gem.

Kinou nani tabeta, or What Did You Eat Yesterday?, is a drama about two middle aged gay men living their everyday lives, making and sharing food, reckoning with their identities and expectations, and figuring out how to be together in a long term relationship. That’s it, that’s the show. If that sounds boring to you, I gotta tell you: YOU ARE WRONG.

We meet Shiro and Kenji when they’re in their mid 40s and already a couple years into living together. Over the course of the show, we learn more about their relationship - how they got together, how they differ, where they struggle, where they shine, what they are still figuring out - and we see them work through it all, together. We see them at work, with friends, with their families, out in public, and in the privacy of their own home - we get a full and complete picture of their lives. And we are invited in to experience it with them and get up close and personal with their relationship in a way that feels both cozy and thrilling.

Now, I am not going to go into detail about everything that happens in this show, or attempt to provide deep analysis about its story, its characters, or the various cultures it depicts. This show was released in 2019, the manga began its run many years before that, and there are folks on this website - like @isaksbestpillow and @bengiyo - who have been at this a hell of a long time and thus have a broader context and lived experience from which to critically examine the show and its messages as they relate to Japanese familial values, life as a queer man from an older generation, and building community while living in a culture that is actively hostile to who you are. I implore you to go read their thoughts and learn from their wisdom. But what I will do is mention a couple (3… no 4, okay 5!) things that really made it stand out to me, a lifelong romance reader, avid media consumer, and drama enjoyer (I’m going to keep plot stuff vague because I hope if you’re reading this, you will be watching very soon!):

Let me repeat: this is a drama about a middle aged couple in a long term relationship, and the ongoing growth and deepening of their relationship is the main plot. Do I have to tell you how unique that is? The romance genre is rarely interested in what happens after the couple gets together, and even in other dramas featuring a couple in a LTR, the plot is usually about something else with the relationship in the background. And I’m fairly sure this is the only show of this nature in the entire bl genre (@absolutebl please fact check me if I’m wrong). In this show, the relationship is the point. It’s a rare look at what it actually takes to learn to deal with your baggage and share your life with someone, and I found it deeply moving.

My god these actors. With all due respect to the many fine actors in the bl industry, these two are on another level. We just never get to see seasoned actors of this caliber headlining ql dramas. If I have one tiny critique of this show, it’s that I found the moments when they let us listen in on the characters’ internal monologues mostly unnecessary - every emotional beat played out in their faces and body language. There’s this one scene I can’t stop thinking about, where the main pair are fighting, and one of them says something he doesn’t mean, and you see the regret on his face instantly, followed by a quick aborted movement as if to take it back, but his partner has already turned away and doesn’t see it. Just perfection. And the acting was so good in the finale (@waitmyturtles informed me my absolute fav moment was improvised for fucks sake) that it actually laid me out for like an hour, I was just sitting there in a crying daze.

The writing is so fucking smart. What’s absolutely brilliant about this show is that it’s structured like an episodic slice of life drama, but there is a deeper long term emotional arc at play and the writers forget nothing. Just like in life, in each episode something will happen, it won’t really get fully resolved, and the characters will move on. But on this show, it always comes back around, usually when your guard is down and they can inflict maximum damage by sucker punching you right in the solar plexus. I can hardly believe how many times this show managed to sneak attack me with emotional realness (official Shan cry count: 8/12 episodes caused me to burst into tears, sometimes more than once).

This show will take you through every possible destination on the spectrum of human emotion. I was so emotional while watching this show, in every sense. Crying both happy and sad tears. Swinging wildly between giddy delight, deep sadness, low key anger, and belly laughing. Sometimes the switch happens literally one scene to the next! And yet, there is an evenness to the tone and assuredness to the filmmaking that makes it all feel smooth. You never feel jerked around by the narrative. This is a credit to the writing, acting, and editing all coming together with perfect precision. The people who made this show are masters of their crafts.

OBVIOUSLY I MUST MENTION THE FOOD. Every episode of this show features at least one instance of a character making Japanese food that looks like the best thing you’ve never gotten the chance to eat. I do not recommended watching this without feeding yourself first, because it will have you salivating. And they don’t just show you the characters making the food (even narrating the recipes for you!), they always show you the characters actually eating and enjoying it. Some real foodies were involved in this production and as someone who loves to eat and absolutely was raised to view feeding people as a love language, I loved it.

So now that you are obviously dying to watch it, you must be wondering: where can I find this show? Let me point you to this post on @kinounaniresource, where the amazing Siiri has compiled all the video files and English subs you need. If you’re not familiar with how to use these, you’ll find instructions on her blog (if you get confused come ask me, please don’t bug her about it). I know sometimes shows being a little hard to access is a big deterrent to watching them, but please trust me that this is absolutely worth your time and effort, you will not regret it.

[bloggingboutburgers]

hi! I have a relationship question I hope you don't mind me asking, you're pretty much my go-to blog for stuff abt qprs 😭 how do you and your partner navigate conflicting emotional needs? for example physical affection and date-like activities, things that one of you really values and would want in order to feel supported but that are too far out of the other's comfort zone. ofc communication is always key, but once you communicate both of your needs where do you go from there? how do you two find ways to balance both of your needs where each of you feels supported and that your needs are being met in a way that doesn't compromise the other's boundaries? I'm sure this is a thing in even romantic relationships too but in my experience this is a little harder to navigate in a qpr, and it's something I'm struggling with atm, so I'm grateful for any advice and experiences you would be willing to share! 🙏

Sorry you're having trouble in that sense TwT I'm sure it's an issue that happens in a lot of types of relationships indeed, but it doesn't make it any less difficult!

To be honest though... I guess I'm lucky, because my QPP and I don't have that many issues in that sense, I don't think? Our needs and wants typically align pretty well, and if one of them IS too much for another's boundaries, we typically have no issue communicating honestly and moving on from it fine. Maybe it helps us that both of us (especially them) have had to be extra-aware of our respective families' wants and needs more than our own growing up, and we're very aware of that, so we want to give each other room to vibe the way we both want to? (I'll say though, I kinda sucked at that on our early years. I'd sometimes throw stupid tantrums and be an ass about such insignificant things, but I want to hurt them and put pressure on them less than anything, so I guess I've quietly strived to become better at it year after year... Maybe time and self-reflection over time just helps sometimes?)

That said... Yeah, it's not happened often that we've found things we weren't compatible on that left us at a dead end. And in some rare cases where we don't really know yet how things are gonna go if it comes to this or that, we have a bit of a "we'll figure it out when we get there" approach, I feel?

No idea if that's gonna keep on fine like that or if it'll bite us in the ass in the future, but to be honest, the only way we'll find out is to go ahead and see. And so far so good. I guess that's the way I see it anyway? But... Yeah I'm definitely one of the lucky ones I feel TwT Even though I'm always afraid of doing things that hurt my partner without realizing and letting that sit for years... I try to take measures so I never do, and so, if anything IS going badly, I don't fail to notice it. Don't wanna make the same mistakes my parents did and stuff.

...Ofc that's just my view on that, my partner @civiart might have a totally different response to this so I'll let them correct/complete if they feel it's needed TwT But I hope I'm doing our case justice!

[wheelsup30]

A Drop of Blood. (Spencer Reid x Male!Reader)

Chapter 1 Excerpt (FULL HERE)

(Note: Oh look I'm starting a whole new multi-chapter work after not finishing the one from the last excerpt i posted...)

CW: Descriptions of gore, mentions of addiction, combination of real world and fantasy elements, mdni.

Word count: 856

Dividers by: @cafekitsune x

“Four bodies, all male, all drowned and missing their hearts.” 

“That’s a new one.” Derek’s brows furrow as he looks over the pictures JJ has distributed. Waterlogged corpses with holes just under the ribs, the same on each body. 

“It looks like the hearts were pulled out…” It’s a terrifying thought, but from the silence that falls over the room it would seem Emily is right as she squints in disgust, suppressing a shudder. “These bodies were found weeks apart, why weren’t we called in sooner?” 

JJ has no answer, neither does Hotch, both just shaking their heads with clear disapproval towards the actions of the coastal town’s sheriff. The silence, however, isn’t kept for long. “The heart is usually seen as a symbol of emotion- particularly love and affection…the victims all being male means it’s likely the unsub was betrayed by a former love.” Spencer rambles, gesturing at different aspects of the images.

“A woman scorned…” Rossi adds, nodding slowly, but a frown of disagreement settles on the younger profiler’s features. 

“Actually, with the strength it would take to drown some of these men, it’s more likely we’re looking for another man.”

This time, Emily disagrees. “Sure, but that doesn’t mean we should completely rule out a woman. I mean, tearing out the heart? You said it yourself, that’s revenge. It’s more common for female killers.” 

The sound of a sudden phone ringtone tears the focus from the group. “Hotchner.” It must be serious, because Aaron stands up quite abruptly, starting to shuffle pictures back into folders. “And he’s alive?” That shakes the room, and everyone else follows suit, packing up the papers and getting ready to leave the office. He ends the call with a muttered ‘We’ll be there as soon as possible.’ then turns to the team. “There’s a fifth victim, he’s alive. I want you all ready to go in 20.” 

One 80 minute flight later, the jet lands in New England and the team make their way to a small coastal town in New Hampshire. JJ and Rossi go to the beach where the bodies were washing up, Morgan and Prentiss stay at the station to learn more about the victims, and Hotch and Spencer are taken to the hospital to meet the fifth one…the living one.

The stark white walls and loud machinery in the room are overwhelming to most people, and it’s clear whatever trauma the poor guy had endured was making it much worse for him to listen to. It was almost like he was afraid of it all as they watched him through the window into his room. “He’s pretty much unharmed,” The doctor explains, shaking his head in disbelief. “No water in his lungs and all of his wounds are superficial.” 

“That doesn’t account for his mental state.” Aaron points out quietly. It was worrying, seeing a young man seemingly so panicked by his surroundings. “Do we know his name?”

“No…” He’s told with a sigh. “The poor boy is so shaken up he barely understands what I’m sayin’ half the time.” That wasn’t exactly a hard feat, the doctor was an older guy with a voice that would probably be best described as muffled. Spencer was struggling a bit even with an attempt to lip read. 

“Can we speak with him?” Another sigh escapes the doctor. Small town cases always had this, the people (usually men) who just didn’t trust an outside source intruding on their community. Both agents suppressed the urge to roll their eyes, just as their colleagues were likely doing too.

“Try not to stress him out.” He warns as he lets them in, guiding them over to the bed where the victim silently stares at them, his eyes wide. “Son, these men are with the FBI, alright? They’re gonna help you out.” And with that, the doctor walks out, clearly having had enough of dealing with his mute patient for the time being.

Hotch speaks first, gently and slow enough that the young man can follow along if things are too overwhelming. “I’m Agent Hotchner…this is Doctor Reid…do you know why you’re here?” 

There’s a long pause, and he just stares at the two of them, blinking almost too slowly. Spencer notes that despite being submerged in saltwater less than three hours ago, his eyes aren’t bloodshot. 

“Do you know your name..?” Hotch tries instead, raising an eyebrow. There’s another long silence, but this time the victim hesitantly nods. “Can you tell us your name, please?” This time he shakes his head, and Spencer almost does a double take, his mind going at a million miles a minute to figure out why that was the answer they’d received- perhaps he can’t talk, or is deaf, he is staring directly at them when they speak- or maybe the unsub threatened him, told him he’d hurt him or someone else if he spoke. 

“What do you want us to call you?” Spencer asks, just in case he was correct to think the latter. The young man looks around the room until his eyes lock onto a pamphlet with reviews in it. 

“...Y/n.” 

[al-the-remix]

Random fandom thoughts/feelings

The reblog button is turned off on this post but I think it's another incredibly important one to be thinking about. I enjoy their framing of how the profit economy of other social media sites has been bleeding into fandom spaces on both tumblr, and like this post focuses on, Ao3. It's something that I've been noticing more and more and it really rubs me the wrong way and I feel like OP's post words it perfectly in a way I've been struggling to express.

This sort of connects the previous post I reblogged on the topic talking about how fandom is not a good in road for becoming internet famous.

A facet of this that's really bamboozled me recently is that I feel like i've been seeing more and more of is the idea that a singular person has a right to call "dibs" on a specific piece of media. Which is honestly totally fucking wild to me and if I'm being totally frank kind of dumb.

Every single one of us who interacts with fandom and by extent and IP is flirting with copy right law, the consequences of which everyone should be extremely familiar with by now with the fall of LJ and various lawsuits by authors, dmca notices, etc.

We have all heard the adage "there's no such thing as an original idea"; the idea that everything we create is the amalgamation of all the things that influence us, good and bad.

This is totally normal and good, actually.

For example, if I and another person both watch a TV show, see a production photograph that we really like and decide to draw it and post them one after the other it would be considered extremely bad behaviour to then turn around and make a big stink about how someone else had the gall to turn around and draw the same thing that I did. We can all look at a picture, video, lyrics to a song, become inspired and create something wildly different based on our tastes and influences--but we also are equally, if not more so, likely to create something nearly identical to our peers, especially in a fandom space where ideas are concentrated and we are all consuming each other's thoughts, opinions, and creations. More than once I've come up with an idea for a fic or a drawing that someone else had had a nearly identical execution of without us communicating or viewing each other's work. That's just the way the human brain works, we're hard wired to make connections in a fairly similar way.

You do not have a right to call dibs on any one photograph, clip of video, song lyrics or any other bit of media you might consume.

This stands for artists, writers, gif makers, AMV creators, and any other way you choose to express your love of fandom creatively.

If you are really hard pressed to focus on the numbers and work at being ~influential~ the burden is on you to distinguish yourself creatively.

There's a reason why not being able to see follower counts is so important to the way fandom and tumblr functions. The concept of ~small creators~ and ~big creators~ or BNF or whatever are all burdens you place on yourselves. No one is taking anything away from you by engaging with the same bit of media you are in a similar way. We all have a right to express ourselves creatively and emotionally through any snippet of media that sparks our interest. You do not get to "own it" just because you happened to pump something out first. There are no creative "dibs". This isn't even some sort of "fandom" etiquette thing that has gone thus unspoken. It's a strange possessive thing that I've seen crop up more and more as the idea of being a capital "C" Creator brain rots people's minds and atrophies their ability to be creative.

Sort of on a tangent, but I have a bunch of other personal random thoughts about how this push to be prolific stagnates fandom, but these are more complicated for me and I'm not as clear on how I want to express them. On one had I am completely on board with the "there is no such thing as cringe" mindset and that everyone has a right to create whatever super indulgent thing they want to without having to suffer people being snobby about it. But, on the other hand I feel very strongly that the cycle of people seeing one trope or characterization being repeated repeated over and over and gaining popularity, reading only that--writing only that--leading others to also only consume that, really stymies creativity and makes it harder to grow the fandom if people that are trying to enter aren't into That One Thing, while also ostracizing people who are already in the fandom that aren't into That One Thing. I strongly believe that people's tastes are at least 70% just what they're exposed to, and obviously not everyone is going to be into whatever weird niche concept they're exposed to through fandom, but the more they are the more opportunity they have to expand that horizon. I don't know how many times I've gotten a version of the "I wasn't sure I would like this but I gave it a shot and it turns out I really love it!" and how good that feels and how much I wish other people were emboldened to do the same instead of being so wrapped up in how their work may or may not be received.

This is mostly a subjective thing though, so it's less cut and dry. Like for example, I really struggle with engaging with transgender fic despite being transgender myself because of the way most AFAB fic is written to the point where I avoid it now almost entirely. Which, frankly, really fucking sucks but also I will be the first person to fight for other's ability to write transgender characters wether they appeal my personal feelings and taste or not.

Anyway, this is one of the reasons I'm so protective of fandom community events, especially ones that employ aspects of the fandom gift economy such as exchanges. There are one of the few wholly un self-centred places left where the focus is on gifting someone something they will love and giving back to the fandom at large by flooding it with art and opportunities appreciation and engagement with each other. It is not supposed to be an opportunity for you to think about yourself and "getting something good" in return or using it a convenient deadline. It also offers you an opportunity to engage with fic tropes and genres that you've never considered writing or reading before.

TL;DR if you've found yourself recently squabbling over how many notes your gifs, art, writing, etc. has been getting compared to other people instead of focusing on forging community ties and your own creative expression, I'm sorry to say you're doing it wrong.

[wintermischief]

Bucky Barnes x Reader Series/Multi Parts Recs 1

last updated: july 11th, 2023

18+, writing may contain mature content. Mostly Bucky Barnes x F! and GN!Reader. Please show support to these amazing writers!!

❗️ PLEASE MESSAGE ME IF YOU’D LIKE ME TO REMOVE YOUR FIC OR IF I MADE A MISTAKE❗️

COMPLETED

Recruit @invisibleanonymousmonsters

Fury gives Bucky a simple mission that’s also guaranteed to be impossible. But Bucky refuses to give up. (Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader)

Meetings At Midnight @teamcap4bucky

You have been a driving force behind Bucky’s recovery from Hydra. He finally realizes that everything he needs is right in front of him. (Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader)

Caught In The Fire @dreamwritesimagines

In a city ruled by gangsters, nothing is ever simple. (Mob!Bucky x Reader)

Guiding Light @wkemeup

It was supposed to be a simple mission. Get the intel and go home. Until everything goes wrong and you’re taken captive by Hydra. While you struggle to stay alive and hold your sanity, Bucky begins to lose himself to a darkness and gives into the soldier because he doesn’t know how to breathe without you. Not until he brings you home. If he even can. (Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader)

I Remember All Of Them @tuiccim

After Hawkeye’s retirement, you are assigned to the Avengers as the new sharpshooter. You form a special friendship with Bucky but when friends turn to lovers Bucky suddenly turns cold. Were you just another conquest of Bucky Barnes’ or was something deeper at play? (Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader)

The Coupon Book @tuiccim

Sex Coupons for Sergeant Bucky Barnes to be redeemed anytime, anywhere. (Boyfriend!Bucky x Reader)

Two Sides Of The Same Coin @anonymityisfunwriter

One pessimist, one optimist, both equally traumatized and haunted, both trying to atone for things out of their control. (Grumpy!Bucky x Sunshine!Enhanced!Reader)

Snow @delaber

Tired of your constant bickering, Sam sends you and Bucky on a mission alone. When the worst possible outcome happens and you’re forced to spend several days together in a small cabin, you finally get to see a different, more pleasurable side to the man whose flesh you’ve always had a thorn in. (Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader)

Yes, Sir @bucky-barnes-diaries

Bucky discovers a newfound kink. (Possessive!Boyfriend!Bucky x Sub!Reader)

Bucky And The Bed @that-damn-girl

You and Bucky are stranded in the middle of a snowy nowhere when there is an 'electronic blackout' during your mission. With no back ups or any way to contact your team, you take refuge from the worsening weather in the only cabin you find in miles. Not to mention, with no power, Bucky's become your personal heater and there's only one bed. (Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader)

I Want To Hold Your Hand @thismustbefakeme

Set after TFATWS. You are part of the newly appointed Captain America's growing team. You have had a crush on Bucky and vice versa. When you finally admit your feelings...shenanigans ensue.

Ease My Mind @buckyskorpion

Bucky Barnes is your best friend and, of course, you’re in love with him. But apparently Bucky is just fine with your platonic relationship - you’re going to have to do something about that. (Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Avenger!Reader, friends to lovers)

Honey And The Bee @chrevastan

One sleepless night brings you to the large communal kitchen at the Avengers Compound. Fully furnished and equipped but barely used, you decide to give the room a little culinary love. Little did you know, your new hobby would bring you some special moments with your friends and opportunities to get to know the newest addition to your team—Bucky Barnes. (Bucky Barnes x Chef!Baker!Avenger!Reader, enemies to lovers)

10 Signs An Introvert Likes You @andyl394

Bucky wasn’t the type of guy to show his feelings and neither were you the one to notice subtle things, until you come across this video; A guidance that may help you discover rather The Winter Soldier likes you or not. (Bestfriend!Bucky x Reader, friends to lovers)

Shifter @floatingpetals

Bucky wasn’t sure what to make of the newest recruit. What he thought was the new team pet was really a shifter in disguise. He learns she’s not afraid of much, whether it’s himself, or walking around all natural. Having the unique ability to change into several different kinds of animals makes her a bit more in tune to her animal instincts as well. Things are hardly ever dull anymore with her around. (Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader)

The Barnes’ AU @agentofkrypton

Bucky Barnes has settled down, living in a beautiful home in New Orleans with his wife, a former Avenger. These are the different stories of how they navigate being superheroes, spouses, and parents. (Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader)

Bucky And His Little Fairy @kinanabinks

The adventures of Bucky and his little Fairy. (Mob!Bucky x Bestfriend!Reader)

Pride And Privacy @adrinktostopyourthirst

Bucky works on himself as he gets used to a roommate. Turns out, she has a much better room than him and he crossed the line. (Bucky Barnes x Roommate!Reader)

Fragments @subwaysurf45

You always had a soft spot for innocent people who were viewed as monsters, must have been something in your blood. Nothing changed when you were assigned as the new handler for the Winter Soldier, he had just killed his previous one and you happened to be there at the right time to fill in. But what happens when you meet him years later? (Bucky Barnes x Therapist!Reader)

Stuck Wit U @slyyywriting

You and Bucky don’t get along. Your fights have become too destructive so Tony and Steve decide that enough is enough. (Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Pyrokinetic!Reader)

Through His Eyes @sebbytrash

Bucky arrives at the compound to start afresh but you and him have a somewhat colorful past, colorful being that you met him once before as The Winter Soldier and it did not go well. New beginnings, yeah? If you can learn to forgive. (Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader)

The Assassins @cherrypickertheory

On one of their missions to destroy HYDRA bases, Bucky Barnes finds someone who shares a similar past to him. Getting her to overcome her time as a HYDRA is one thing, falling for her is another. (Bucky Barnes x Mutant!Reader)

As Time Goes By @caffeineforbucky

The Two Of Us @bucky-bucket-barnes

You and Bucky go to investigate the phenomenon happening in Westview, New Jersey. While attempting to understand the issue, you yourselves are sucked into Wanda's world of pretend. Now, you believe yourselves to be the happily married Mr. and Mrs. Barnes; in real life, you are most definitely not a happy pair. It is up to you and Bucky to piece together what's happening while dealing with one another inside the hex. (Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Avenger!Reader)

Pansies, Pain And Other Things About Bucky | Part 2 @bucky-bucket-barnes

You and Bucky are begrudgingly paired on a mission together. This is less than ideal considering neither of you are too keen on the other tagging along. All goes as normal until a surprise attack severely hurts both of you. Feeling incredibly guilty, Bucky helps you tend to your wounds. He has trouble admitting it, but he wants to make sure you’re safe. (Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader)

If Only I Had A Heart | Part 2 @buckybarnesowl

Team Cap is back at the compound after being pardoned. Bucky is suffering from the shoddy work HYDRA did with his prosthetic. Tony brings you in to fix it—and maybe help him find his heart in the process. (Bucky Barnes x Engineer!Reader)

Season Of The Witch @msmarvelwrites

Your witchy abilities get you in quite a bit of trouble from time to time…but this time you don’t mind so much. (Bucky Barnes x Witch!Reader)

Hope Of It All @bethdutten

After saving Steve and breaking from Hydra, Bucky remembers you from the helicarrier. He doesn’t know where else to go. (Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader)

Accidentally In Love @creativebeang

After Bucky Barnes gets injured during a mission, you end up moving in with the avengers where your life changes forever. (Bucky Barnes x Agent!Reader)

The Road Goes Ever On And On @rocketrhap3000

Life as a single mother of a three year old certainly has its struggles. But when a sweet stranger makes his way into you and your little boy’s life, a one of a kind connection sparks. (Bucky Barnes x Mother!Reader)

Metal Arms And Short Skirts @buckyarchives

Waltzing in as the new head of the Avenger's medical division, impressing everyone, and...scaring Bucky with your incredibly short skirts. While Bucky's having a hard time looking at his arm as anything other than a deadly weapon, and you're more than happy to help him. (Bucky Barnes x Engineer!Doctor!Reader)

When I Want | PDA 1 | PDA 2 | PDA 3 | PDA 4 @notyetneedcoffee

In which you and Bucky reveal your relationship and drive everyone crazy.

Save Me @espinosaurusrexex

Bucky Barnes has never had it easy, which ultimately turned him into a caveman-like introvert with no desire to see the positive side of life. But what happens when the clumsily charming art student, Y/N, stumble to his rescue, determined to show Bucky how truly wonderful the world is? (College!Bucky x Reader)

Everything’s Better In Westview @espinosaurusrexex

You and Bucky sneak into Westview to have the perfect life. Away from late Steve and Tony, Vision and Natasha, they let themselves be consumed by suburban magic. To their surprise, however, some of these people aren’t so dead in the town. And there are some other weird things happening that make them question their sanity. But that’s okay, right? ‘Cause everything’s better in Westview. (Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader)

Fight For me @littleseasiren

After years in an abusive relationship, you finally get out. When the Avengers decide to raise awareness for your Battered Women's Home, you bump into Bucky Barnes, the hottest, most complicated man you've ever met. He thinks you're too good for him, but when your abusive ex reappears, Bucky knows he has to keep you safe - by any means necessary.

Swallow @all1e23

Swallows choose a mate for life, and will only nest with that bird and no other; they travel long distances apart only to find their way to back to each other, again and again. Bucky knew the second he met you.

Accidents Happen @avengerofyourheart

You are accident prone, come from a sheltered background, and have been with the Avengers almost a year when Steve finds Bucky and brings him to the Avengers Tower. Bucky takes an interest in your quirkiness.

I’ll Love You Forever @buckyswintersoldiermask

Your time with Bucky in Wakanda.

Another World @sinner-as-saint

In a futuristic world, you and your team rescue and care for stranded and hurt otherworldly beings; who are held captive and kept on Earth against their wills. Then one day, while on a rescue mission, you come across a human-like extraterrestrial being; in a cryogenic chamber, with a missing arm.

For The Love Of The Game @pellucid-constellations

Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it. 

The Help @buckitybarnes

In which Stark thinks Bucky needs an assistant of some sort. However, Bucky thinks you’re unqualified. It looks like you’ve got your work cut out for you.

So This Is Love @ofstarsandvibranium

Your friend and roommate, Bucky, is a bit of an annoying fuckboy. He sleeps around as well as tries to be as annoying to you as possible. But here’s the thing: you don’t mind any of it.

Your Hands Have Made Some Good Mistakes @thenhewaswrongaboutme

Bucky has to spend six months locked up with a stranger.

Selfless Love @redgillan

A journey toward recovery and the story of a broken man falling in love with a woman.

Blush @noturgoffgf

You had a bet every day to make Bucky blush. You were doing so well until he started to fight back.

Finding Memories @justkending

Waking up with little to no memory of your past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world you quickly learn runs on chaos. But you’re not the only one trying to figure out your forgotten backstory. (Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader)

ON GOING

Roar And Giggle @holylulusworld

He’s just the worst. Right? (Biker!Bucky x BookstoreOwner!Reader)

A Week To Fall In Love @creativebeang

A mission, feuds, an underground network, life in the suburbs and Bucky. What could go wrong, right? Wrong. (Bucky Barnes x Agent!Reader)

Little Bird @scrumptious-delusion

The adventures of Bucky and you, the sunshine agent assigned to work with him. (Grumpy!Bucky x Sunshine!Agent!Reader)

You’re Mine, Sunshine @theeleggymeggy

Bucky gets picked by a very rich and respected man to be his daughter's personal bodyguard. The Father warns him that it won't be an easy job, that she is a brat and difficult to deal with. But what happens when Bucky meets you and you're the complete opposite? (Grumpy!Bodyguard!Bucky x Sunshine!Reader)