#like ohhh yeah this is why i dont remember 80% of my childhood and go entirely nonverbal when someone is even mildly irritated with me
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sometimes ill get into this headspace where im like man i really am too hard on my mom, truly the worst thing she ever did to me was not be an emotionally perfect parent, and honestly who is, she really didnt fuck up that bad considering. and then i spend 20 minutes alone in a car with her and come out of it understanding why people kill
#undefined.txt#like ohhh yeah this is why i dont remember 80% of my childhood and go entirely nonverbal when someone is even mildly irritated with me#and live in constant fear of irritating my loved ones to the point of abandoning me at the drop of a hat X3#like i have to remind myself that doing shit like forcing a 7 yo to pack a suitcase and telling them youre#kicking them out of the house because they didnt want to take a shower while theyre sobbing and begging you not to is like.#not a normal or healthy thing for a parent to do.#and that shit like that had a lasting and devastating impact on me and my ability to form and maintain relationships with people#but we stay silly :'3
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