#like putting my money where my mouth is viz community based living and small businesses

[soldier-poet-king]

Im...happy?? Even temporarily???

Woke up and laid in bed longer than I should have, but less than I usually do, and while filled with dread, it's LESS dread than usual

Walked to mass at new church, completely bland generic sermon & bland generic music, which is perfect, nobody knows me or is trying to rope me into things or expects things from me, I don't have to pretend I don't absolutely loathe so much of catholic parish culture, I can just, go in, go out, be a nameless face in the pew which is Safe and Uncontroversial. There was even the coolest looking older butch in the pew with me. Docs and leather jacket and all.

Stopped and read on a cafe patio with a coffee and pastry. The sun was out. Nobody was constantly texting me asking where I was. It was me and my iced coffee and silly vampire book.

Checked out the main shopping area, saw all the local grocers and bakeries and small local businesses. I'm not in a suburban box store desert anymore. I may pay slightly more at small businesses but if I want the luxury of this kind of area that's a cost I'm willing (and newly able) to pay. Plus living here means I don't have to own a car and am saving so much on that front that it still works out in my favour financially

Stopped by a little florist, tiny hole on the wall, met the nicest man and his nephew and got tons of plant advice based on my apartment layout and some recommendations for what should be unkillable given my brown thumb. Will absolutely be going back for more plants once I'm fully set up + some for my office

Like. This was unthinkable a year ago. I desperately need to keep my job. So I can keep this. I forgot how good it was to live in an area like this, not endless detached housing sprawl. I can walk everywhere. I lived in an arealike this in uni but my budget was nonexistent (grad school funding woooo). Now that I have a (very small admittedly) degree of financial flexibility??? Im allowed to sit on a patio with a 5$ coffee once a week??? I can pop into little florists and grocers and bakeries if I want?? Nobody is going to judge me for "wasting" money by not buying the absolutely dogshit quality cheapest thing possible??? Or not reporting on my location at all times? I owe no accounting of my every trip out the house?