#like shes so different from any other character. she's apologetically selfish and possessive and manipulative

[iheartmilfs42069]

On Kierark, Toxic Relationships, and Fetishization

I am honestly alarmed by how many people ship Kierark (not to mention Kierarktina). Tumblr prides itself on being “woke,” and yet it’s a rare blog that DOESN’T ship them. But why? It’s toxic and unhealthy. Why is it that so many people don’t see it? Well, today I’m going to outline all the reasons why this ship is messy and abusive.

Let’s start with the first place we see them: “Bitter of Tongue,” one of the Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy novels. Granted, we don’t see much of them and it makes sense for Kieran to seem unfriendly around a Shadowhunter (or rather, a Shadowhunter-in-training). But then we get this observation from Simon, “[He] could not tell if the tight grasp of Kieran’s hand was affectionate, anxiety, or a wish to imprison.” First lesson in witnessing abuse: if it looks like abuse, it’s probably abuse. Also, why would that suggestion even be there if it wasn’t a very real possibility? Sure, this seems a bit flimsy, but it’s reinforced by what we then see in The Dark Artifices.

Let’s move on to Lady Midnight: The very first interaction we see Mark and Kieran have is when Kieran leaves him a note in an acorn saying, “Remember, none of it is real.” He knows Mark is in a fragile state of mind and he knows how much Mark has missed his family. And what is his response? Tell him it’s not real! That is a classic example of gaslighting. And we immediately see the impact it has, as Mark believes it and has a set back.

The next significant moment is when Mark, Emma, Julian, and Cristina go to the Lottery and Kieran follows and meets Mark in the coat closet. He spends the entire time guilting Mark for doing THE VERY THING MARK WAS SENT THERE TO DO. He’s mad Mark is spending time with his family and trying to solve the murders, even though he knows Mark only has a limited amount of time to do so. Mark immediately turns apologetic, EVEN THOUGH HE DID NOTHING WRONG. This is a manipulation of Mark’s emotions and further gaslighting.

Shortly after, Kieran spies on Mark and Cristina and gets jealous that they’re literally just having a conversation. The second he gets a chance to do something (Mark letting a faerie secret slip), he immediately sells Mark out. This is fucked up for two reasons: 1. Kieran reveals he thought Gwyn would force him to return to the Wild Hunt (and thus, Kieran). This is incredibly selfish and completely takes away Mark’s choice. If Kieran cared about what Mark wanted, he wouldn’t have tried to take away his choice. Even Julian, who would do ANYTHING to keep his family together, doesn’t do that. Kieran only thought about what HE wanted and fuck whether or not that’s what Mark wanted to (remember, at this point, no one knows what Mark will choose). 2. HE SOLD OUT THE BOY HE SUPPOSEDLY LOVES KNOWING THERE WOULD BE SOME KIND OF PUNISHMENT. We know, given that Kieran admits it and faeries can’t lie, that his only goal was to get Mark back. He didn’t give a shit about Gwyn’s secret being slipped. It was just a convenient turn of events. HE SOLD MARK OUT FOR ENTIRELY SELFISH REASONS. In doing so, he betrayed his selfishness and Mark’s trust.

And then, of course, there’s the infamous whipping scene. When Julian volunteers, Kieran ACTUALLY AGREES TO THIS. Defenders say he doesn’t view family the same way, so he wouldn’t understand that this was wrong. BUT, faeries know what family means to Shadowhunters and, more importantly, Kieran knows damn well what Mark’s family means to him.Therefore, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THIS. He doesn’t even feel guilty for what happens; he’s just upset Mark no longer trusts him and even hates him (I’ll provide more proof of this later).

Parallel to this, another pattern emerges: Kieran supports Mark’s insistence that he’s a Shadowhunter until other Shadowhunters are around. Then suddenly, he’s only a faerie. This has a very possessive air to it; Mark can only embrace his Shadowhunter side when it doesn’t threaten Kieran’s claim on him.

And now we get to Lord of Shadows: The first we hear of Kieran, we discover he has murdered Iarlath for whipping Emma and Julian (very clearly to try and win Mark back over). At first glance, it seems that he’s trying to make reparations. But, consider this: Iarlanth would never have whipped Emma and Julian had Kieran not sold Mark out. He still isn’t taking responsibility for his part in that day, showing he doesn’t really feel guilty (here’s that proof I promised). He’s just upset he doesn’t have Mark anymore.

But, let’s be fair, Mark does something alarming here too: his first instinct upon finding out Kieran is going to be executed is to refused to help him. He says he knew Gwyn wouldn’t let it happen, but then Gwyn never even shows up to the rescue. Perhaps, maybe, he didn’t really believe Gwyn would save Kieran. You want one half of your ship leaving the other one to die? Okay, then. And then, Mark only goes when Zara calls his honor into question the same way Gwyn did when he refused to help. HE’S DOING IT TO PROVE HE HAS HONOR. In what world is that a good thing in a relationship?

After the rescue, we come to the point where Kieran agrees to speak before the Clave and must swear fealty to someone. He swears fealty to Cristina and ACTUALLY TELLS MARK HE DID IT TO SPITE HIM. Even when he doesn’t remember witnessing Mark and Cristina getting close, he STILL pulls this shit. (Now would also be a good time to point out that losing one’s memories does not equal character development or redemption. If he does’t remember what he did, he can’t redeem himself from it. It also begs the question: why remove his memories in the first place? The Unseelie King didn’t know anyone was coming to rescue Kieran (let alone his ex), so what was the point? To try and trick us into thinking Kieran is having character development? Well, it didn’t work.)

Okay, let’s call Mark out for something again: he lies to Kieran about the break up so he will help him. While Mark had legitimate reason to not trust Kieran and it was for a very good cause, this is still a messed up thing to do. And it’s certainly not the kind of thing healthy relationships are built on.

Next, let’s get to the sex dream scene. First of all, it should be noted that, even when Kieran is making Mark have a sex dream about him, Mark is still thinking about Cristina. That’s telling, to say the least. But let’s get to the real issue with this: Mark tells us that Kieran used to do this for him in the Hunt, “but this time was different.” BUT THIS TIME WAS DIFFERENT. But what’s difference between those times and this one? Easy, Mark wanted it those other times, but not this time. KIERAN FORCED A NON-CONSENSUAL SEX DREAM ON MARK. No, this is not technically rape. But Kieran had zero consent and Mark clearly felt less-than-good about it. This is a VIOLATION. THIS IS NOT OKAY. Even if, as some people have said, Mark is the one who made it sexual, Kieran was still the one awake and in control of the dream. He knows Mark is asleep and therefore cannot consent. Either way, THIS IS A NON-CONSENSUAL VIOLATION.

Speaking of things that are not okay, Mark tells us something else about he and Kieran’s Wild Hunt days. They used to have terrible screaming fights. If this wasn’t unhealthy enough, we find out none of them were ever resolved because they just devolved into (presumably) sex. They had terrible, horrible fights that they NEVER RESOLVED. This is so very clearly toxic I can’t believe anyone can overlook this.

Remember when I said Kieran doesn’t care about what Mark wants? I have more evidence of that. Mark tells Kieran he’s not sure about their relationship anymore and asks for some time and space. And what does Kieran give him? Not time and space, that’s for sure! Yes, they’re both stuck in the Institute, but it’s really not hard to avoid someone in an Institute. This was Kieran once again ignoring Mark’s wishes and doing whatever the fuck he wants. At the very least, this is disrespect. At the very worst... well, would you want your significant other to do this shit?

“But they can’t keep their hands off each other when they’re together!!!” Hate to break it to you but PHYSICAL ATTRACTION DOES NOT MEAN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHY OR NON-TOXIC. People are attracted to people who are bad for them or who treat them badly ALL THE TIME. It is no where NEAR enough to base an entire relationship on, especially when it’s so unhealthy in so many other ways.

And all this brings me back to my original question: why do so many people still ship this? If it was a guy doing this to a girl, you’d all be up in arms. Not only that, but you claim you want good same-sex rep and yet ship things like this. Newsflash: same-sex relationships can be abusive, unhealthy, and toxic. They aren’t automatically perfect by virtue of being same-sex (and before you make any assumptions (as Tumblr is wont to do), I am a lesbian).

I can only come to one conclusion: you don’t really care about same-sex rep at all. You just have a fetish for white M/M relationships. And that pisses me the hell off. If you cared about same-sex rep, you would ALWAYS call it out when it’s unhealthy. (And no, I don’t think that was the point Cassie was trying to make, as she seems pretty hung up on them. But I think it’s clear she shares your fetish because we have countless Malec stories (of course, Magnus is Indonesian, but it’s still M/M) and keep getting Kierark content, but no Haline content. Interesting.) I am absolutely disgusted with “fake woke” Tumblr, only caring about things when it doesn’t interfere with their ships. Honestly, if you can read this whole thing and STILL feel okay with shipping Kierark, don’t call yourself an ally. You’re not. You just fetishize the M/M experience. 

I have the terrible feeling that Cassie is not only going to go through with Kierark, but force Kierarktina down our throats. But I will never stop being vocal about how toxic, unhealthy, and abusive this ship is. I hope I’ve woken some of you up to the reality of this ship (remember, everything I listed was CANON FACT), but I won’t hold my breath. 

UPDATE: So, I finished QOAAD and I have some additional comments. I’m not saying Cassie read my post and decided to retcon all these issues (for all I know, QOAAD was finished before I wrote this post). What I AM saying is the way Cassie addresses the issues I laid out in this original post is, quite frankly, bullshit. (Spoilers ahead.)

I don’t think Cassie knows how to write a redemption arc. Kieran’s redemption arc is made entirely of retconned canon, instead of actually showing him change as a character. Let’s begin with the only bit not related to his relationship with Mark and Cristina.

Apparently, Kieran was a very kind prince to his subjects. I know he’d been sent to the Wild Hunt because the Unseelie King viewed him as a threat, but this makes no sense with his character. Prior to this, Kieran has pretty much never been shown as being selfless or kind to anyone. Kieran says he did was kind for selfish reasons, which makes more sense to me. But then every character around him insists that he was kind because he cares, despite there being literally no evidence of this. 

What pissed me off the most was when Mark said Kieran sent him that “Remember, none of this is real” not in Lady Midnight to comfort him. Mark says he remembers Kieran whispering that to himself while in the Hunt to help him cope with the horrors. 

The problem is this doesn’t line up with what happens in Lady Midnight. When Mark receives the note, he has a breakdown. It sets back all the progress he’s made reacclimating to life with his family. He doesn’t connect it to anything he’s heard Kieran say before. He doesn’t even remember it at any point along the way. Mark literally never brings it up until Kieran finally admits he was wrong to do that. You can’t just say “Oh, I knew this was what you really meant all along” when your canon disproves this. If this was what Cassie had meant to be the truth all along, she would’ve addressed it far sooner.

Another instance of this is when Mark claims Kieran told Gwyn that Mark shared his secret with Cristina to “save his life.” But... from whom? Mark isn’t in danger from his family. Cristina shows no sign that she’s going to kill Mark and use the information for her own purposes. Gwyn wouldn’t have known Mark shared that secret unless someone told him. So how is Mark’s life in danger? How is Kieran going selling Mark out to Gwyn saving his life? 

Remember how I said memory loss isn’t the same thing as a redemption arc? Neither is a magic pool that forces you to experience the pain you’ve put others through, and thus develop empathy. It shouldn't take this much for a supposedly good person to realize they’ve hurt people. This is such a cheap tool to further a redemption arc, and all is does is undercut any of that “progress.” Cassie is basically saying that Kieran never would’ve realized he’d hurt people without magical intervention and that is... not encouraging.

This makes even less sense, because Cassie was already setting up a more believable redemption arc. Kieran agrees to still testify before the Clave after he realized Mark had lied to him in Lord of Shadows. Why throw away a natural redemption arc in favor of something that makes your character seem void of empathy without a magic mirror to the soul?

Cassie has every character suddenly praising Kieran and talking about how much he’s changed. Even though he’s not really that different. But we’re expected to believe that Julian has just forgiven him? Julian Lives-And-Breathes-Vengeance Blackthorn? Cristina gets to speak for Emma and say she’s forgiven Kieran. That’s not for her to say. 

I’m just saying, it’s not a coincidence that Emma being pro-Kierarktina is on page 666. 

Mark forgiving Kieran makes sense. Mark letting him back into his heart is out-of-character. Cristina finding Kieran attractive makes sense. Cristina suddenly falling in love with him is out-of-character. 

Do you know why Herongraystairs works? Because all the characters have genuine chemistry and you can clearly see why they love each other. Cassie literally has to spell out why Kierarktina works. This means she doesn’t show it well enough. Which means they fundamentally don’t work as a polyamorous relationship. As Emma repeatedly refers to the relationship as a “hot faerie threesome,” it just feels like more fetishization on Cassie’s part. 

So, even though I knew this was going to happen, I’m still disgusted and disappointed. I even tried to keep an open mind, but Kieran’s redemption arc just does not work. Why should I want a character who doesn’t feel empathy without magical assistance anywhere near Mark and Cristina? If Cassie had really worked for a redemption arc, maybe it could’ve worked. I probably still wouldn’t have liked it, but I could’ve somewhat accepted it. 

Honestly, after all the shit he pulled, the only redemption arc I would’ve accepted was Kieran sacrificing himself for Mark, Cristina, and the Blackthorns. It would’ve had more impact and the characters could’ve actually reflected on real character growth, rather than insisting to the reader that Kieran has changed. 

So anyway, fuck Kieran. Kierarktina really kept me from loving this book as much as the first two. All three of the characters involved have to be out-of-character for the relationship to work. And I just can’t support bad writing like that.

[ase-trollplays]

BLOODSWAP AU

Exactly what it says on the tin, folks: An AU where all my trolls have different blood colors and blah blah HERE WE GO

Corali Primer, Rust ==> Blue

IRONY OF ALL IRONIES, I can’t picture bloodswapped Corali as anything other than a blueblood. Despite her massive personal grudge against the entire caste, I feel like it fits her better than any other.

She’s still a temperamental hothead who will throw a punch before she asks a question, but she’s now a psychologically stable temperamental hothead. Honestly, she’s actually pretty mellow most of the time. Since she's a highblood, she was never enslaved and abused as a child, so she never developed the heavy emotional trauma that made her the fucked up individual she is in canon. Becoming what she hated actually fixed all of her problems. She still has the anomaly in her mind that blocks out all forms of mental interference, and she still makes a living as a ring fighter and part-time accountant.

Psilar Alalia, Yellow ==> Cobalt

As a cobalt, Psilar is significantly better off than they are in canon. Since they don’t have any psionics, they didn’t overload themself and cause the brain damage that they have in canon. As a result, they still FLARP with their roleplay group, and they’ve begun to unwittingly follow in their ancestor’s footsteps by pursuing robotics. They also specialize in carpentry and architecture, and their love for problem solving puzzles and critical thinking is unshaken.

They can be a little hemoist at times, though they generally try to get along with everyone. They’re really sarcastic and nerdy, and they are a friend to all dogs and rabbits.

Cacoph Octahv, Gold ==> Tyrian

Without his vocal psionics forcing him into silence, Cacoph never took up the mime gimmick that he’s so known for. Also, due to having more pressure put on him as an heir, he lost quite a bit of his goofy attitude as he was forced to deal with the politics of being so highblooded despite being ineligible for the throne. He still has a sense of humor, but it’s far more subdued. He’ll often hang around the lowblood districts, as he sees them more like a breath of fresh air compared to the frilly snooty rich people crowd that he tends to be smothered by.

He is a large supporter of the arts and will often give large donations of money to performers, musicians, and artists, especially those that are young or low on the spectrum.

Thiomi Shiaka, Olive ==> Indigo

Bloodswap Thiomi only has one real major difference from canon Thiomi: She has no reservations about using violence/causing harm to other people. She’s still shy and reserved and would rather not resort to that, but if you force her hand then she’ll do it. She’s also a bit more selfish and hemoist as an indigo due to the constant message of “being a highblood means it’s your birth right (Hatch right?) to put yourself before others and take what you want from your lessers” surrounding her all her life. She doesn’t go out of her way to belittle, harass, and subjugate those below her, but she’s not above it if she feels it’s necessary. She also chose not to join the church because she doesn’t agree with their policies regarding mutants and the hemospectrum.

Her chucklevoodoo allows her to take control of another person’s emotions and manipulate them into feeling a particular way. For example, if someone is being rude, she might use her voodoo to make them feel apologetic (Or, if she’s feeling spiteful, fearful of her) and leave her alone. She can also control the intensity of which they feel whatever emotion she forces on them.

Vastel Cronoa, Jade ==> Violet

Due to having never met or interacted with Allmah in any way, he is substantially different than canon. For one, he’s still a cisgender male since his mind never got warped from having Allmah controlling him so often. Secondly, he has no magic whatsoever nor can he hear or sense the presence of ghosts. He’s sassy and blunt and is one of the edgiest punks you’ll ever come across. Honestly, so much about him is different due to Allmah never interfering in his life it’s surreal to think he and Vessel are even the same troll.

He still has an obsession with the sun and will often leave the ocean during the day to bask in the brightness and warmth. He’s gotten severely sunburned several times and also went blind from it, though thanks to being so high on the spectrum he was able to have cybernetic replacements for his eyes commissioned. He still greatly loves plants and lives near a large coral reef overflowing with sea life. He has been known to murder anyone that causes harm to it.

Shadah Relion, Teal ==> Gold

As a goldblood, Shadah actually doesn’t have the same amount of issues canon Shadah does. Hell, being bloodswapped solved literally all of her problems! This is mostly because, instead of spending basically her whole life being manipulated, abused, and brainwashed by her lusus, her lusus outright abandoned her when her psionics manifested. In another twist of irony, she has canon Cacoph’s vocal psionics. But unlike Cacoph, who gave up speaking altogether because of his psionics, she found a workaround for it and wears a mask that suppresses the psionics in her voice when she talks.

Because she never endured all that abuse canon Shadah did, she’s actually incredibly pleasant. She’s still a total snot, but she’s not so aggressively abrasive, arrogant, and selfish. Hell, thanks to the lack of abuse, she’s still able to feel sympathy and compassion for other people, meaning she actually has friends and is pretty damn emotionally healthy. Bloodswap is literally the best thing to happen to her character.

Karell Rohsco, Cobalt ==> Indigo

THIS FUCKER IS THE ENTIRE REASON MY BRAIN EVEN GAVE THIS AU A SECOND THOUGHT. It all started with “If Karell wasn’t a blueblood, he’d be indigo.”

He still has a stupidly efficient healing factor that lets him be as reckless as he wants, but he’s somehow even more selfish and erratic than in canon. He joined the dark carnival at a young age because he liked the hedonistic side of it, and he gets a kick out of using his chucklevoodoo to fuck with people’s heads and ruin their nights regardless of whether they’re a highblood or a lowblood. He pretends not to care about the hemospectrum and often doesn’t even wear his paint or act at all like he’s part of the carnival, but it’s just an act. Once he has his paint and proper church attire on, he practically becomes a different person and is much more cruel and uncaring of others, all while still carrying on his sarcastic and playful persona.

His chucklevoodoo forces people to abandon all their inhibitions and reservations and act completely on impulse while under his influence. Prolonged exposure to his voodoo results in side effects like gradual loss of impulse control and being hyper susceptible to suggestion.

Sayble Melano/Alrose, Blue ==> Yellow

Despite the bloodswap, Sayble hasn’t changed all that much. He’s still heavily mutated with severe melanism and blackish-yellow blood. He still lives in seclusion in the middle of the woods, though due to being a lowblood he doesn’t have a lot of the extra protection and security he was afforded by having a lot of wealth like canon Sayble. Being a lowblood also means he’s far more likely to be harassed and attacked by other trolls, so he’s even more paranoid and unwilling to trust people as a result. Instead of having a fortified above-ground hive, he lives far underground and even faked his own death to avoid conscription into the military.

His psionics manifest as an ability to control and create his own electricity. He uses his psionics to power his underground hive so he can live off the grid. 

Sonja Tuniq, Indigo ==> Rust

He still has dual personas, but he’s significantly more stable. Due to growing up without highblood conditioning to justify and promote violent, controlling, and manipulative behavior, his serious alter is much more mellow and willing to compromise. His other persona still has issues with clinginess and over dependence, moodswings and erratic behavior, and constantly fluctuating feeling of self-worth, though he’s more likely to fall into depressed episodes and isolate himself when dealing with perceived rejection instead of becoming violently possessive (Sorry @yanderefantrolls but he lost his yandere-ness). Despite the added stability, however, they’re both still prissy jerks. Also, he never developed an interest in theater.

Instead of having differing psionic abilities for each persona, both of them share the same type: The ability to create hyper realistic (to the point of being tangible) hallucinations. He can tap directly into the part of the brain responsible for the senses and control what they see, hear, smell, and even feel and taste. However, the more realistic they try to make the illusion, the more strain it places on their mind until they’re forced to stop.

Maeron Schiek, Indigo-Violet cusp ==> Olive-Jade cusp

Maeron’s much less chaotic as an olive blood, though she still has a love for the more carnal and hedonistic pleasures in life. She laments that despite being a cusp, she’s not jade enough to become a rainbow drinker after she dies, though she still pretends to be one on occasion to fuel her blood fetish. With no chucklevoodoo to brainwash people into doing things for her that she couldn’t be bothered with or a loftly place on the hemospectrum to shield her from a lot of the consequences of her actions, she's actually pretty responsible.

Naturally, she still has a love of singing, and she’s a well-known club singer.

Allmah Liftir, Violet-Indigo cusp ==> Jade-Teal cusp

Allmah is slightly less of an aggressively terrible person, believe it or not. She died very young due to her gradually increasing list of chronic illnesses. Although she’s a cusp, she’s more jade than cobalt, which was enough to allow her to become a rainbow drinker. She never developed an obsession with immortality like she did in canon because she knew she would revive after she died, therefore there was nothing to fear.

Because she never developed an immortality complex, she never studied magic to extend her life when she was alive, so she never started kidnapping trolls to steal their lifespans or their bodies. Instead, she began studying magic and started kidnapping trolls to steal their blood due to following the Bloodletter instead of the Diviner to fuel her magic and to crystallize their blood into jewelry. She’s still a literal psychopath with a list of evil acts ten miles long under her belt, but she’s a lot more even-tempered canon Allmah.

Varoll Kaydur Kareem Serbie, Tyrian ==> Violet

It doesn’t seem like much of a swap since she only went down one caste, but this actually drastically changes everything about her. Her lusus was murdered and her hive was burned to the ground in an heiress assassination attempt when she was barely a sweep and a half old. This is what led to her fleeing to the swamplands, where she was eventually adopted by a congregation of alligators and pretty much grew up feral from that point since.

However, that never happened in this au because she isn’t an heiress. So instead of being a semi-feral child, she’s a pompous little kid spoiled by the luxuries of being a seadweller and taught she’s inherently better than everyone else. She even still uses her real name.

Hannah Wetiko, ??????????????????????????????????????????

Hannah is literally the only troll that doesn’t change in any way whatsoever. The circumstances that make them the way they are in canon are still the same in bloodswap. They still live high in the mountains with their wendigo lusus where virtually no one goes, so their social skills are still greatly lacking. They still have autism, and their interests still heavily favor gore, body horror, and scary shit in general because of what raised them. They still consider the hemospectrum and placing any level of importance on blood color irrelevant and pointless, so they don’t care enough about their own blood color to let anyone know what it is. Their bloodline is still cursed, meaning eventually they’ll become a wendigo. They’re still agender and demiromantic demisexual.

The only thing that really changes is their body temperature.