#like sure he murdered ppl but can u rlly blame him?

[multifandom-thoughts]

Adolin Kholin has ruined men for me

[15ktherapy]

I wonder how many of my issues I could blame my dad for. like he’s not evil or anything but he does suck. it’s okay though I can bully him so it’s fine. it’s funny though . Bros like you remember things I think you really shouldn’t. And I get to sit next to him and laugh like yeah funny how that works. kids can be traumatized fun fact. they remember that shit. Fun Fact. I don’t say that to him I just laugh in his face. because I’m evil. it’s okay though because I can tell him I don’t like him and it hurts his feelings. L bozo. that’s what u get. oh my god I think I picked up my emotional deceit from my dad. the double layer fake out….. stares blankly into space. whatever I’m better at it so who cares. I wonder if he remembers making me sit out of best activity ever. there was this school activity I did in the fourth grade and he literally went up to my school and demanded I sit out the class. God that’s so embarrassing. it was so fucking embarrassing. everyone gets to have fun. I sit in the corner. just me. all me. all by myself. you know if you stand out people look at you? yeah. fun. and I really liked Activity too. I wonder if this is why I don’t have any life passions. except drawing a little. you can’t take away my ability to draw u less you fucking bound my hands suck on that old man. well and it’s the most easily available thing ever. especially to do in school. ohhhh I’m drawing ? what are you gonna do about it? take the pencil? then what am I supposed to take notes withIDIOT ???? maybe I fear the take away. hmmm.

sorry still haven’t found a job yet so I’m being philosophical. I’ve applied for like six and only gotten a reply from one but that place was way farther away than I thought so umm. Don’t think I can take that. Also they wanted me to do a recorded interview. insane. just vibe check me through email like a real man.

I wonder if I should make a resume. I don’t have anything to put on it except “never had a job before please be nice to me” maybe that could get me pity. hmmmm

oh there’s this weird thing my dad does where he’s like I Should Get U A Gun. and I ignore that because it’s stupid. I have knives man. and then he’s like you probably shouldn’t have those. or a gun. Homeslice ur the one who brings it up all the time. I can have knives if I want. BLEHHHHHH. the gun is a cowards weapon anyway. I have a whole thing with that. ITS TRUE THEY ARE. let’s see how can I trace this back. ummm one time when I was a kid there was something on the radio about a guy getting beat to death with a rock (by multiple ppl) and my dad (white Texan man) is like oh what are the liberals gonna ban rocks too ? and me, not sure how old I was but younger than I think I should’ve been, is like. that’s stupid. it’s circa 2015 or something I’m like twelve and I’m like well that’s fucking stupid. because it is. if you want to shoot someone you have to what? pick the thing up maybe flick it’s safety off and pull the trigger? dude you have to put so much effort into beating someone to death with a rock. it’s a fucking rock. anyway the point is the argument is stupid. it’s not “this thing can cause death so it’s bad” it’s more about the ease of the whole thing. murder should be personal. if you want to kill me put some fuckin effort into it, pussy. if you want to kill someone you should have to put the effort in. just My Opinion. stare into my eyes while you kill me dude. murder should rlly be about acknowledgement. awwww little baby wanna hide behind something to kill me ? can’t even look me in the eye? booooooooooo. bitch. do it urself coward. stab me.

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs One Tree Hill S1

No matter how many times I watch the pilot I consistently forget that Nathan and Peyton used to date

“Don’t bother showering tonight” is that really your come-on Peyton I will never understand sports

Lmao @ Nathan and Peyton “OTP: Distracted Driving”

“You’re despicable, you know that,” said Dan, a literal future murderer

I’m always so thrown when ppl in shows start drinking at their workplaces like what kind of bold behaviour Whitey you work at a high school

“What are you wasting your time at now?” Nathan ur a terrible boyfriend

“I say that the people who pray here are wasting their time. God doesn’t watch sports” I know Lucas is pretentious as all hell but this is my favourite line in any sports show ever

Karen is such a good mom ahhhhh like she just wants Lucas to be happy and she knows he’ll put other people’s happiness first 

Dan calling Lucas ‘this kid’ like he’s not his wholeass son what a dick

It’s not lost on me that Keith telling Lucas stories about his father means that it’s Lucas’s grandfather Keith Scott is truly the only dad in this show who matters

“So why’d you just tell me all that” because he loves to monologue

“If I could [change the fact that Lucas exists], I would” Dan answer your door I need to send you a very rude telegram

I am in love with Moira Kelly and also I want Karen to punch Dan

The music of this show is really.... transcendent 

Djhfkjhfkjh since Lucas is implied to have like, five friends.... is that crowd of supporters hugging him just a bunch of people who think Nathan is a dick

I admire Lucas for deciding he was gonna put up with all this bullshit to do something he loves

Omg I forgot that Brooke wasn’t in the pilot she’s such a major character

“Nice hands” “Nice legs” Emo flirting in a jock setting lmaooooo

My inner 2007 angst awakens every time I hear Gavin Degraw. He is THAT bitch

“You ever think I might want to talk” Peyton and Nathan’s relationship is truly nothing but blind horniness they have nothing in common at all in this juncture of their lives

“I didn’t invite you to come in, I just asked if you wanted to” Peyton is so weird but I kind of want to marry her. Is this what Lucas feels like

Lucas’s economic status is really part of Brooke’s romance criteria at the age of 17 they teach the bourgeois early huh

Oh my god I cannot BELIEVE Jake recommended Atlas Shrugged to Lucas jhjhgjhgjh the undertones of this basketball show really are about capitalism

HAHAHAH Nathan’s word being “revenge” calm down Sasuke Uchiha

I haven’t said so yet but Haley is so very endearing she’s great

God. Lucas turning around to reveal to Dan that he’s cast away his name. HE is that bitch

Ghjkghjkgh Keith hissing at the rude Boosters mum. Love of my life

“Maybe he’s gay” “No, I think he’s just nice” who writes this dumbass show

“Do you even care that it’s slipping away” maybe it’s because I went away for university but the idea that someone is this deeply invested in their kid’s high school basketball career is. A lot

Nathan simultaneously trying to bother Lucas and pass English while about to fall in love: I can multitask!!!

Update: He also managed to trash Lucas’s favourite basketball court somehow in all his business. He really can multitask!

“If it makes you feel any better I called some woman a bitch the other day” [giggle] I love Karen and Lucas’s relationship

Haley is such a good friend to Lucas and hoo boy Nathan when do you grow a conscience

“You’re both so broody. You could brood together” that’s it, that’s Peyton and Lucas

These emails and VCR references are really dating this show

Nathan is a straight up sociopath in these early eps my god he humiliates Lucas publicly twice at this party and just pops over to Haley like “Hey cutie :) Idk why Lucas is so mad :) I’m rlly nice :)”

Nathan really taking his girlfriend’s car to hit on another woman how much of a crapbag

As soon as I said this he (drunk?) drove her car into a streetlight my god 

Deb and Karen having a nice lesbian coffee shop AU would be a pleasant turn in this show instead of literally anything that happens in either of their narratives

“Why would you even go there” “Because I loved getting dumped on” That is... accurate

“I’ll call you when you’re not so PMS” said Nathan, when his (ex) girlfriend rightfully lambasted him for crashing her car

I take it back Peyton and Nathan do have one thing in common it’s their disregard for traffic laws

HELL YEAH Keith IS your dad Lucas <3 <3 <3 <3 

Whitey talks a lot of shit for someone who advised Dan to abandon Luke 

I had been wondering why Lucas had the Scott name when Dan is such an ephemeral piece of shit and I guess there’s my answer thanks Karen 

Does Haley ever find out about the shit Nathan pulled at the party I feel like these are relevant details in her budding affection

“Dad send you to spy on me? Poison my drink?” This is the second time in two episodes Deb has been accused of being Dan’s spy I wonder if she still considers that a red flag 17 years into marriage

“One of the boys doesn’t have a father” BUUUUURN Dan

Rhkgjhgjkh the last moment of this scene:

Keith: There is enough room in my heart for each of my brother’s mistreated sons even the rude ones Nathan

Nathan, experiencing a split second of paternal love: :O

Ghkjghkjgh the Scott bonding in hatred of Dan continues with Lucas asking Nathan if he too would like to spite Dan:

Lucas: You will be receiving your “I Hate Dan Scott” Club invitation in the mail shortly Nathan, mom, Uncle Keith and I hold meetings biweekly

Nathan: Biweekly as in every two weeks or twice a week 

Lucas: Both! See you on Tuesday

“Does this mean we’re dating” yes it does the mixed CD is emo code

“Good luck with your game” “yeah, you too, Ma” hehehehe

Someone revoke this college medic’s license hoo boy

Ghjghkgh Lucas keeping his money tucked into his boxers what a doofus

I can’t believe Nathan and Lucas’s second big bonding moment is threatening dudes while in their boxers after beating on each other what a brotherly bond lmao

Okay but highkey if ur a lady and ur friends are gonna leave you alone and vulnerable at night get new friends

“I can live without my shirt” Nathan is thirteen shades of petty lmaooo

Dan is such a bad (abusive) father that Nathan literally would prefer to have none at all my god 

“Can I tell you a secret? I pretended too” just get marrrried 

“Thanks for cutting Lucas some slack” talk about accepting the bare minimum Haley kjhgkjhgkj

Brooke is really unbearable in this episode is it any wonder her, Lucas and Peyton’s relationship is as dysfunctional as it will soon become 

Hoo boy the one (1) time Nathan doesn’t do something douchey and he gets blamed for it 

LMAO @ Lucas approaching the one girl at this school with commitment issues with a bold “I wanna be here [in your heart]” hahaha

“Yeah, they can have their world,” said Lucas to Haley, about the two people they would literally go on to marry

The fact that Peyton doesn’t turn off her webcam and just covers it also really speaks to the era

This Gabe dude is really ready to assault a minor like he’s not just a r*pist he’s also a predator double KO 

It is not lost upon me that it looks like one pill has been popped out before so he is also a serial r*pist big fucking yikes

“What, you got a cellphone too, dawg? Things sure have changed” also quite dated hahahaha

They really went out of the way to redeem Brooke not only did she give Nathan and Haley a very very cute date she also saved her friend from being assaulted

“So you don’t have any brothers, do you” jhgkhgkhg Brooke please 

“Why are you only nice to me when we’re alone” a very legitimate question Haley

Nathan’s dating methodology: There’s nothing in life that can’t be solved with make-outs

Deb is really so nice but every time I look at her I think of her drinking a lot and sleeping with Nathan’s friends lmao

Haha that North Carolina sign explains the mild Southern accents 

Aieeeeeeeeeee you kiss that man and follow your dreams Karen

Even if Nathan is still A Lot this season him and Haley are so cute:

Haley, smiling: We can’t do this here right now

Nathan, giggling: We just did

Lucas says more to Dan by constantly leaving with a look of disgust than any words ever could

“My heart’s racing too. That’s what happens when I’m around you. (And on drugs. I’m very unstable Haley.)”

Lucas and Nathan’s very intentional “pressure from your dad” and “you don’t know anything about my dad” bc Lucas will not acknowledge that Senor Crabag Sr. is anything resembling a father bless 

Drunk tattoos with crush’s bff Lucas has decided to make all mistakes at once and I respect it

Poor Keith he is trying his best but Lucas just chose this week to hit his rebellious phase

YESSSSSSSSSS DEB KICK THAT ASS OUT OF THIS HOUSE

“Do you really think that Nathan would choose you over me” uh???? Are you not aware you are... the worst father in town

Brooke you were fully aware of Peyton and Lucas’s vibing and actively pursued him/interfered so you have no moral high ground to be like “:) I’d never choose a boy over my friendship”

Skillz and Mouth accurate “hoo boy don’t look” when ur friends start PDA

“Mom doesn’t want things to get back to normal, she wants them to be better” hell yeah Nathan gaining emotional intelligence

Lucas quit projecting your childhood issues onto Jake he too is a child let him decide how he wants to live Jenny’s 6 months old not like she’s gonna remember lmao

Damn Nathan LET LOOSE on Dan fuck that dude

JGFHJGFJGFJH I forgot Gavin Degraw had a cameo hahahahah

Did Luke.......... break into Jake’s house. His parents work at night how was he able to get into Jake’s coffee table

“You do not have to feel like a third wheel” The pure dumbass energy.... Peyton is literally CRYING do u really think her issue is “third wheel” you KNOW she and Lucas had a thing Brooke???????

Me watching this team form a brotherly bond over their mutual love of basketball: Mayhaps sports are... good 

Hahahaha Lucas threatening Peyton’s dad with a rake is weirdly endearing

“Hey you.” “Hey you, and you,” is a good summary of this seasons Brooke/Lucas/Peyton dynamic lmao

Why is Dan’s head... shaped that away. It is like a bar of soap

“I don’t mind you playing ‘Daddy’ to one of my offspring, but leave the good one alone, will you?” Dan. Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot at midnight and we’ll have words

“The whole Nice Guy thing is wearing kind of thin” foreshadowing for all the dick moves Lucas is about to pull lmao

“He’s got you skipping school now?” “Lucas talk to me when you get your tattoo removed”

Lucas:

Lucas is such a meddler lmao how many family dynamics is he going to alter

I don’t trust Dan being nice for a minute all he wants is the upper hand with Deb in the inevitable custody battle over Nathan

Props to Nathan and Haley for somehow, some way, being the only normal couple on this show despite their incredibly dubious origins lmao

Scott family dinners are bananas I count four (4) major revelations and they haven’t even revealed that Deb and Dan are separated

Lucas and Peyton are really hitting every fictional couple trope in this ep - road trip, bed sharing, hurt/comfort, truly the YA bases 

“The truth? In this house?” Props to Deb for drama lmao 

Brooke saying ‘I love you’ you’ve been dating for like two episodes but okay kjhgkjhg

I can’t say I understand Nathan’s logic lmao but I guess they have to bring him back to basketball sometime

Wow Lucas zero hesitation on that second kiss lmao u r a mess

This scene is the definition of “that escalated quickly” they go straight to undressing 

HAHAHAH NATHAN BEING SHIRTLESS IN HALEY’S DREAM FOR NO REASON 10/10 TEENAGE ACCURACY

“How do you explain being with me and not her?” “Because with you, I saw a future” that’s Dan code for ‘I’m a gold digger’

You’re literally macking on Peyton in the middle of the hallway while you’re dating the other most popular girl in school Lucas how are you this ridiculous and bold BREAK UP WITH BROOKE U DUMBASS

“So what are we going to do” I’ll tell you what you should do BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

Keith it is still daylight out stop bringing alcohol into this high school you have a drinking problem

“Can’t control love, you know?” THAT’S NOT ADVICE LUCAS BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

I really can’t handle watching Keith and Lucas self-destruct this episode how is Nathan the only Scott in a happy, healthy relationship

“You know that this is... wrong, so that makes it feel... deeper?” Lucas asks, as if he were not entirely in the wrong by carrying on with Peyton (who is not in a relationship) while dating Brooke

“I don’t want to hurt Brooke,” he said, about to start his third secret cheating makeout session of the week

“But then again our spouses aren’t here are they” [Deb opens door] COMEDIC TIMING

Gjjhgkjhg Nathan revealing his messed up intentions with Haley entirely by accident Scotts have no self-control whatsoever it’s their kekkei genkai

Lucas evading responsibility for his romance crimes by literally dying

Hahahah Karen’s confused vibes at Brooke are kind of the highlight of this episode 

How funny would it be if Lucas woke up to Karen scolding him about his tattoo

Hahahaha for such dysfunctional partners Nathan and Peyton are excellent exes 

AHHHHHHHHH LUCAS WAKING UP TO HIS BROTHER... MY HEART

Keith rlly was gonna propose after zero (0) days of dating I’m telling you no self-control is truly the Scott clan kekkei genkai

Ahhhh bless Karen’s compassion 

Dan is literally blackmailing his son into staying in his custody he is in Deb’s words an “abusive son of a bitch”

Fucking finally Lucas ends this sham of a relationship with Brooke

It’s wild that Nathan is the only Scott with a happy and healthy romantic relationship 

Nathan divorcing his parents is a real power move 

I’m glad Haley announced Sheryl Crow’s name because let me tell you I would not have recognized her on sight

“How’s my daughter” Lucas really chooses exclusively to hook up with people who have devastating emotional consequences for his immediate friend group huh

“Funny I didn’t know you were forgiving at all” Lmao Peyton is that really the position you’re going to take after cheating with your best friend’s boyfriend 

All the deodorant product placement lmao ‘this ep sponsored by Secret’ 

All things considered I think Lucas is handling Haley’s constant ditching p well 

Bfhkghghjg Keith buying a new shirt just to go to dinner with Karen stop

OH MY GOD THE EP REALLY WAS SPONSORED BY SECRET IT’S GOT SECRET ON THE CHEER COMPETITION BANNERS AND A LITTLE GIFT BAG RANDOMLY IN ALL THE CHEERLEADER CONFRONTATIONS JKGHKJGH

The comedic timing of “hungover idiots” panning to Karen and Larry kills me

“She used to be this totally original.... Haley” what does this mean????

I don’t think Nathan and Haley are being entirely fair to Lucas bc he was only a dick once she ditched him twice (or thrice?) in one weekend 

This boy toy auction as a concept is so inappropriate on so many levels

“I get Nathan for free” Fhjkfhkfjh Haley pls

God I was so very concerned about whether or not Nathan and Peyton were gonna kiss 

“You’re not a mess, you’re just in love” [Ole Del Paso Girl voice] Why not both?

“She’s nine months old, just in case you forgot” to be fair I assume Nikki gave birth so she would remember that you can’t hold that one over her 

It must take Lucas some mental disconnect to assume Peyton and Nathan are cheating when he also kissed Haley

Fhjfhkjfhjfh Keith fulfilling my fave trope of ‘we are not even dating but how about we get married bc we’ve been repressed in love for years’

“You know I asked your mom to get an abortion,” said Dan, to his literal son

I really can’t figure where this pregnancy storyline is going bc I know Brooke doesn’t have a baby

Nathan and Haley really need to consider oral or smth there’s a middle ground between making out and having vaginal sex

“It all hurts just the same” Brooke really out here trying to say that cheating is in any way equivalent to faking a pregnancy (even if only for a week)

Peyton and Brooke are way more invested in each other than Lucas 

“I got you a high five” Hahahhaa I love Peyton 

Gary like: Wow Nathan it’s humanizing that your father is an abusive dick

“Maybe this is the one that changed him” Lucas joining Dan as the second and only non-Dan member of the Dan Scott Apologism Club

It’s wholly unreasonable that Haley expects her boyfriend not to look at p*rn lmao

I love all this Lucas and Nathan bonding but I hate that it comes at the cost of Dan being near them at all u stay away from those boys u manipulative fuck

Ah the foreshadowing about Peyton changing in front of her webcam finally pays off

I’m no legal expert but I don’t think that taking your daughter out of state will help you in the custody battle in the long term Jake - nor will dropping out of high school

“What do I get out of it” r u 4 real Keith u dont get payment for loving your family

“I’m leaving because I can’t look at you anymore without my heart breaking” I like you Keith but that sounds like a You Problem

This is a fun way to shoot this episode One Tree Hill has such good directing tbh

Nathan discarding the Scott name from his jersey just like Lucas did in ep 2: 

Haley: Having sex will solve all of my problems Nathan what are you talking about

I remembered that at some point Deb and Keith have sex and I’m glad they fuck things up early bc I could not deal if it was later on

“I’ll miss you too, little brother” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

KJKGHKJHGJHKJHGKJHKJ I CAN’T BELIEVE NATHAN AND HALEY GOT MARRIED JUST TO HAVE SEX THIS IS WHY THEY DON’T LET PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN 18 VOTE

[gayspock]

(tma anon here!) i just started season 3! the main trouble i'm having is remembering the names/connecting early dots with later ones and such. i know there's something about different concepts or beings or something like that being powerful and linking stuff? but also i just. Don't get what's going on in the archive like. what is jon doing. who is daisy. what do the books do with anything. my tiny gay brain can't piece things together rip esp cuz i haven't listened in awhile...

READ MORE TIME BC... FRANKLY THIS IS LONG IM SO SORRY ANON F

1

NAMES ARE ALWAYS REALLY DIFFICULT!!!! like, i dont blame u at all & i had a lot of the same issues - bc there REALLY IS a lot of them and they don’t get repeated enough.  i would suggest, if theyre talking in depth about someone who only sounds vaaaguely familiar, to perhaps check them out on the wiki?? it’s probably your best bet, for a small refresher that u can access whenever u can.

moreover. this is obviously HARD bc ur not up to date, but? sometimes engaging with the fandom helps process things (it did for me) bc ppl’s discussions help connect things together.  perhaps... try digging up old reddit threads, of when the actual episodes first aired? i suggest reddit specifically bc u can actually restrict ewhat u see to be only discussion about a specific episode in its specific thread (something u cant do on tumblr). seeing ppl discuss what happened in an episode, and what is/isnt important rlly can . do wonders if ur like me and things all kind of blur together.

AS FOR YOUR SPECIFIC QUESTIONS.. (first of all. might i suggest u go over the season 2 finale? JUST BECAUSE that explains most of what you’re asking, i think!? and has a lot of the important info, in terms of immediate plot. however... that being said, maybe if ure still struggling after that u could relisten to more episdoes? it wouldnt hurt, and if u want i could point u to all the relevant (relevant meaning: ones that will have follow up in the future) ones but- but to be honest, even then, there are a LOT of relevant episodes. so u gotta prepare uraself for that.)but i can answer the things u asked, to my own ability !! which?? i HOPE HELPS

1. what is jon doing

good question. mans gone wild!! im not entirely sure what u SPECIFICALLY mean by: what is he doing, but if u mean in GENERAL? at the very end of the s2 finale, he was framed for the murders of both Leitner and Gertrude by elias (who is the one who actually killed them both) after the former’s body was found in his office and he ran away. consequently, he is on the run from the law and is staying low at his ex-girlfriend’s (georgie) house, who doesn’t know what has happened (just that something is clearly . wrong with him). 

in episode 1 he’s just recounting one of his own childhood experiences (essentially giving his own statement) which explains why he 1. hates the name leitner and 2. pursued a job at the magnus institute despite his cynicism.  if you’ve made it to episode 3, yet, he basically starts getting statements sent through the mail to him (which is weird, because no one is supposed to know where he is) and he interprets this as someone sending him clues. THAT’S BASICALLY WHAT HE’S DOING IN THE BEGINNING, ANYWAYS! 

2. who is daisy

she’s first mentioned in episode 43, and gives an actual statement firsthand in episode 61. do you remember basira? she’s the police officer jon was in contact with, and who gave him certain tapes that had been taken in as “evidence” by the police after gertrude’s murder. she is sectioned, which as explained in episode 43, basically means: she saw some weird supernatural shit once, had to sign a section 31 form, and is now assigned to any case which entails supernatural shit. daisy is essentially her partner on the force. she is also a sectioned and therefore also works on any and all supernatural cases. given the institute’s reputation, all cases concerning it are automatically given to section 31 officers - including gertrudes murder. which is actually why basira and daisy showed up in the first place, and why basira gave him so many tapes despite them being evidence: because they already suspected that he had killed her at that point, and were banking on the fact he’d expose himself.ANYWAY. therefore when jon was framed for murdering his predecessor, daisy steps in. she’s currently trying to find him, so she can “deal with him”. 

3. what do the books do with anything. https://the-magnus-archives.fandom.com/wiki/List_of_booksthis might. explain a little bit??anyways the books were also something i was like “whahththeusdhisdhgd” about too, so big mood with that one. BASICALLY: the books have an unknown origin, and we still don’t know how they exist, or their original source. all we specifically know is that 1. they all correspond with at least one entity 2. they are especially powerful artefacts, even more so than most  and 3. interacting with them has bad consequences that are variable.  within the show,  most people (and we ourselves are led to) believe that they were the work of someone called jurgen leitner - including jon, himself - hence why they’re referred to as leitners. however leitner turns out to be nothing but Just a Self-Absorbed Prick, who simply collected them, and added them to his library - branding them, as if they were his own, in the process. he believed that he could “protect” people from them, by keeping them in this fashion. instead this ... did not exactly work out, and instead given the fact he’d slapped his name on, like, all of them most people instead think he’s the one who put them all into the world. which, given their abhorrent nature, kind of put a big target on his back (which is why he went into hiding)

otherwise..... the books, unless something else is revealed later on, aren’t IMPORTANT-important? with regards to plot, at least. they appear every now and then, causing Situations(tm) but it was more like... a misdirection, i guess? might be the best word. as in, they were presented as the cause for a lot of shit, and thats true, but ACTUALLY: there’s a much bigger picture going on, and the books are less the root of the problem, and moreso a  consequence of the problem if that makes any sense?